May 11, 2025 • 10 mins
Are you tired of starting strong and falling off?
In this episode, I explain why most men struggle with discipline and what it really takes to build lasting habits. As a Navy SEAL veteran, firefighter, and high-performance coach, I’ve watched even the strongest men lose their edge.
I’ll show you:
- Why motivation is trash fuel
- How your identity and environment shape your results
- The system I use (and coach) to rebuild discipline from the ground up
- Real stories from men inside The Highly Effective Man who are winning with streaks, not willpower
If you’ve been drifting, this is your wake-up call.
Discipline isn’t about hype — it’s about standards.
And when the standard rises, your life does too.
🎯 DM me “DISCIPLINE” on Instagram (@thehighlyeffectiveman)
or visit the Highly Effective Man Inner Circle to join the brotherhood of men who lead themselves first and live unstoppable lives.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Highly Effective man podcast, hosted
by former Navy SEAL turned lifeand fitness coach.
I'm your host, jp Bolwan.
This podcast is your resourcefor unlocking the healthiest,
most productive and highlyeffective man within you.
Let's go.
What's up, guys?
(00:35):
Welcome back to the HighlyEffective man podcast, the show
for men who want to reclaimtheir strength, their energy and
discipline so they can leadfrom the front.
I'm JP Bolwan, navy SEAL,veteran firefighter coach and
the man who men turn to whenthey're ready to raise a
standard and take back controlof their life.
Today, we're going to talk aboutone of the most common issues
that I see with men.
(00:55):
They can get going right, butwhen it comes to being
consistent, they always fall offright.
Discipline always seems to fallapart, so today we're going to
fix that.
Now let's talk about whydiscipline fails.
Every man has felt this right.
You're fired up, you crush afew workouts, you eat clean for
(01:19):
a week, you wake up earlier thanyou have before and then it
slips.
You miss one day, then it's twoand the next thing you know
you're back to drifting.
And it's not that you're lazy,you're just undisciplined when
you don't have a system.
And let me break down whydiscipline fails for most men.
(01:42):
Number one you're relying onmotivation.
Motivation is trash fuel.
It burns fast and dies faster.
If your ability to executedepends up, depends on how
pumped up you are, you'vealready lost man.
Discipline starts wheremotivation ends.
(02:03):
And number two you don't havean identity behind your habits.
If you still see yourself, oryou talk to yourself as like I'm
the guy that's trying to bedisciplined, you're always going
to be inconsistent, but whenyou become the man who follows
through, discipline stops beingabout something that you do and
(02:29):
becomes part of who you are.
And then, number three yourenvironment is making discipline
harder.
Now most men are trying to livedisciplined lives inside
undisciplined environments.
You've got your phone rightnext to your bed or you carry it
wherever you go, your calendaris full of other people's
(02:51):
priorities and you say you wantto eat clean, but your pantry is
full of junk.
Now, discipline is hard enough.
You don't need to make itharder by being unprepared.
You don't need to make itharder by being unprepared.
So let's talk about rebuildingdiscipline.
Here's how we fix this.
And you know, I've coachedhundreds of men through the same
(03:14):
process, whether it's busyprofessionals, dads, business
owners you know guys that arepulled in a dozen directions all
the time, and this is whatworks.
Number one, or step one, is yougot to anchor your day with
non-negotiables.
These are your daily habits oryour daily standards.
(03:34):
Mine are pretty simple, okay,and these are the ones that I'm
working on right now.
Right, wake up before the chaos.
Right, so I get up early, makesure I'm getting my nutrition
and my water intake in, get mynumber one task completed for
the day, for whatever I'mworking on, and then make sure
that I get my morning routine inand my power down ritual.
(03:57):
That's it.
There's no gray area.
You either did it or you didn'tdo it, because discipline loves
clarity, right, it's a yes orno answer.
Did I do it or did I not do it?
And then step two is to trackthe streaks.
Okay, not perfection, and thisis a mindset shift that changed
(04:17):
everything for me and for themen I coach.
We're not chasing perfect.
We're about stacking wins,right, and if you hit your
non-negotiables three days in arow, that's a streak.
If you go for five or for seven, that's a win.
Your goal is to keep showing upand keep the streak alive, and
(04:42):
here's the proof.
We talked about this in myhighly effective man community
or in my inner circle.
I made a post about the powerof streaks and the response was
awesome.
Okay, guys started sharingabout their streaks, right?
My buddy Chris talked about manJP, lied and said it was a 28
challenge and here we are almostnine months into it.
(05:05):
From meal prep, workouts tojournaling, the hits just keep
coming.
Another buddy, todd.
He was like I'm on 115 daylogging food streak and he's
still at it.
Even though he had pneumoniarecently.
He still logged everythingwhile he had it right and he's
still getting better.
(05:25):
Another guy, bob.
He said the streak for me hasbeen working out.
He's like due to my schedule, Icommit a consistent time but I
always get one in right.
That's the power of streaks.
Get one in right, that's thepower of streaks.
Right, and it's awesome becausethey build momentum and
(05:47):
momentum beats motivation everysingle time.
And then step three is to settraps and buffers.
Don't trust your future self todo the right thing.
Right, he's tired, he'sstressed and he wants comfort.
You know that.
Set traps to make successeasier and failure harder.
(06:10):
Right, put your phone inanother room at night.
Schedule your workouts likethey're meetings.
Prep your meals in advance.
You're not just grabbingwhatever's convenient, lay out
your gear the night before sothat you don't have to think
about it, it's just right there,you get up, you put it on and
you're out the door.
Right, discipline is built inpreparation, not in the moment.
(06:33):
Right, we don't always make thebest choice, choice in moment.
And then step four is to getaround men who do not miss right
.
Then this might be the mostpowerful piece of all.
Right, you either rise or youfall to the level of your
environment and the peoplearound you.
If they are skipping workouts,eating trash or complaining all
(06:57):
day, you will too, guaranteed.
But if you're surrounded by menwho execute, who raise a
standard and who push each other, you have no choice but to
elevate.
And that's what we've builtinside the Highly Effective man
Inner Circle.
Right, it's a brotherhood wherediscipline is the baseline,
(07:17):
it's not the exception.
Okay, so rebuilding starts now.
And here's how you can startrebuilding today Pick three to
five non-negotiables, make themsimple, clear and something you
have to do daily.
Right, you either do it or youdon't, and then track your
(07:38):
streaks.
You can use a whiteboard, ajournal, an app, whatever works,
but just track it and then setone trap this week Make it
harder to fall off.
And, number four, get aroundwinners.
Join a circle of men who aresharpening each other.
You weren't built to do thisalone.
(07:58):
So, just to recap, remembermotivation, fades, okay systems
and identity.
Those last, we want to getstreaks over.
Perfection and discipline isbuilt in preparation.
You need a brotherhood whereexecution is normal, right.
(08:22):
Discipline isn't aboutpunishment, it's power, and
discipline is how you become theman you were meant to be.
So if you're tired of fallingoff and you know what to do, but
you can't seem to stay on track, then DM me with the word
discipline on Instagram at thehighly effective man, or you can
(08:45):
go to higherlevelcoachingco tolearn more about the system and
the community that we've built.
You don't need more hype.
What you need is a mission, astandard and a man who are going
to hold the line with you.
Let's rebuild that together.
(09:06):
Thanks for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.
If this episode hit home, shareit with a man who needs to hear
it.
Leave a review and rememberwhen the standard slips, so does
the man, but when the standardrises, your whole life's going
to follow.
So let's sharpen the blade.
Until next time, lead yourself,lead with discipline and never
(09:31):
back off from who you were builtto be.
Let's go.
Thank you for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.
If you enjoyed or learnedsomething on this episode, do me
a favor and share this withsomebody who you think needs to
hear it.
And one last thing if you wantto work with me as your coach to
help you get fit, be moreproductive and, in general, just
be the most effective versionof yourself, head over to my
(09:54):
site, higherlevelcoachingco Onceagain, that's
higherlevelcoachingco andschedule a call with me there.
Thank you again.
Let's go.
Welcome to the Highly Effective man podcast, hosted
by former Navy SEAL turned lifeand fitness coach.
I'm your host, jp Bolwan.
This podcast is your resourcefor unlocking the healthiest,
most productive and highlyeffective man within you.
Let's go.
What's up, guys?
(00:35):
Welcome back to the HighlyEffective man podcast, the show
for men who want to reclaimtheir strength, their energy and
discipline so they can leadfrom the front.
I'm JP Bolwan, navy SEAL,veteran firefighter coach and
the man who men turn to whenthey're ready to raise a
standard and take back controlof their life.
Today, we're going to talk aboutone of the most common issues
that I see with men.
(00:55):
They can get going right, butwhen it comes to being
consistent, they always fall offright.
Discipline always seems to fallapart, so today we're going to
fix that.
Now let's talk about whydiscipline fails.
Every man has felt this right.
You're fired up, you crush afew workouts, you eat clean for
(01:19):
a week, you wake up earlier thanyou have before and then it
slips.
You miss one day, then it's twoand the next thing you know
you're back to drifting.
And it's not that you're lazy,you're just undisciplined when
you don't have a system.
And let me break down whydiscipline fails for most men.
(01:42):
Number one you're relying onmotivation.
Motivation is trash fuel.
It burns fast and dies faster.
If your ability to executedepends up, depends on how
pumped up you are, you'vealready lost man.
Discipline starts wheremotivation ends.
(02:03):
And number two you don't havean identity behind your habits.
If you still see yourself, oryou talk to yourself as like I'm
the guy that's trying to bedisciplined, you're always going
to be inconsistent, but whenyou become the man who follows
through, discipline stops beingabout something that you do and
(02:29):
becomes part of who you are.
And then, number three yourenvironment is making discipline
harder.
Now most men are trying to livedisciplined lives inside
undisciplined environments.
You've got your phone rightnext to your bed or you carry it
wherever you go, your calendaris full of other people's
(02:51):
priorities and you say you wantto eat clean, but your pantry is
full of junk.
Now, discipline is hard enough.
You don't need to make itharder by being unprepared.
You don't need to make itharder by being unprepared.
So let's talk about rebuildingdiscipline.
Here's how we fix this.
And you know, I've coachedhundreds of men through the same
(03:14):
process, whether it's busyprofessionals, dads, business
owners you know guys that arepulled in a dozen directions all
the time, and this is whatworks.
Number one, or step one, is yougot to anchor your day with
non-negotiables.
These are your daily habits oryour daily standards.
(03:34):
Mine are pretty simple, okay,and these are the ones that I'm
working on right now.
Right, wake up before the chaos.
Right, so I get up early, makesure I'm getting my nutrition
and my water intake in, get mynumber one task completed for
the day, for whatever I'mworking on, and then make sure
that I get my morning routine inand my power down ritual.
(03:57):
That's it.
There's no gray area.
You either did it or you didn'tdo it, because discipline loves
clarity, right, it's a yes orno answer.
Did I do it or did I not do it?
And then step two is to trackthe streaks.
Okay, not perfection, and thisis a mindset shift that changed
(04:17):
everything for me and for themen I coach.
We're not chasing perfect.
We're about stacking wins,right, and if you hit your
non-negotiables three days in arow, that's a streak.
If you go for five or for seven, that's a win.
Your goal is to keep showing upand keep the streak alive, and
(04:42):
here's the proof.
We talked about this in myhighly effective man community
or in my inner circle.
I made a post about the powerof streaks and the response was
awesome.
Okay, guys started sharingabout their streaks, right?
My buddy Chris talked about manJP, lied and said it was a 28
challenge and here we are almostnine months into it.
(05:05):
From meal prep, workouts tojournaling, the hits just keep
coming.
Another buddy, todd.
He was like I'm on 115 daylogging food streak and he's
still at it.
Even though he had pneumoniarecently.
He still logged everythingwhile he had it right and he's
still getting better.
(05:25):
Another guy, bob.
He said the streak for me hasbeen working out.
He's like due to my schedule, Icommit a consistent time but I
always get one in right.
That's the power of streaks.
Get one in right, that's thepower of streaks.
Right, and it's awesome becausethey build momentum and
(05:47):
momentum beats motivation everysingle time.
And then step three is to settraps and buffers.
Don't trust your future self todo the right thing.
Right, he's tired, he'sstressed and he wants comfort.
You know that.
Set traps to make successeasier and failure harder.
(06:10):
Right, put your phone inanother room at night.
Schedule your workouts likethey're meetings.
Prep your meals in advance.
You're not just grabbingwhatever's convenient, lay out
your gear the night before sothat you don't have to think
about it, it's just right there,you get up, you put it on and
you're out the door.
Right, discipline is built inpreparation, not in the moment.
(06:33):
Right, we don't always make thebest choice, choice in moment.
And then step four is to getaround men who do not miss right
.
Then this might be the mostpowerful piece of all.
Right, you either rise or youfall to the level of your
environment and the peoplearound you.
If they are skipping workouts,eating trash or complaining all
(06:57):
day, you will too, guaranteed.
But if you're surrounded by menwho execute, who raise a
standard and who push each other, you have no choice but to
elevate.
And that's what we've builtinside the Highly Effective man
Inner Circle.
Right, it's a brotherhood wherediscipline is the baseline,
(07:17):
it's not the exception.
Okay, so rebuilding starts now.
And here's how you can startrebuilding today Pick three to
five non-negotiables, make themsimple, clear and something you
have to do daily.
Right, you either do it or youdon't, and then track your
(07:38):
streaks.
You can use a whiteboard, ajournal, an app, whatever works,
but just track it and then setone trap this week Make it
harder to fall off.
And, number four, get aroundwinners.
Join a circle of men who aresharpening each other.
You weren't built to do thisalone.
(07:58):
So, just to recap, remembermotivation, fades, okay systems
and identity.
Those last, we want to getstreaks over.
Perfection and discipline isbuilt in preparation.
You need a brotherhood whereexecution is normal, right.
(08:22):
Discipline isn't aboutpunishment, it's power, and
discipline is how you become theman you were meant to be.
So if you're tired of fallingoff and you know what to do, but
you can't seem to stay on track, then DM me with the word
discipline on Instagram at thehighly effective man, or you can
(08:45):
go to higherlevelcoachingco tolearn more about the system and
the community that we've built.
You don't need more hype.
What you need is a mission, astandard and a man who are going
to hold the line with you.
Let's rebuild that together.
(09:06):
Thanks for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.
If this episode hit home, shareit with a man who needs to hear
it.
Leave a review and rememberwhen the standard slips, so does
the man, but when the standardrises, your whole life's going
to follow.
So let's sharpen the blade.
Until next time, lead yourself,lead with discipline and never
(09:31):
back off from who you were builtto be.
Let's go.
Thank you for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.
If you enjoyed or learnedsomething on this episode, do me
a favor and share this withsomebody who you think needs to
hear it.
And one last thing if you wantto work with me as your coach to
help you get fit, be moreproductive and, in general, just
be the most effective versionof yourself, head over to my
(09:54):
site, higherlevelcoachingco Onceagain, that's
higherlevelcoachingco andschedule a call with me there.
Thank you again.
Let's go.
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