March 6, 2025 • 33 mins
Sarah Hernholm, the Founder and President of Whatever It Takes (WIT), is our guest today. Through WIT, Sarah supports teens and young adults in using their voices, launching businesses, and creating sustainable impact in their communities.
Feeling "sick and tired of being sick and tired," Sarah came to our retreat site in Connecticut to attend the Process. During the Process, students face the pain of the past and learn to take responsibility for their lives. It's challenging work. As a writer, podcast host, and three-time TEDx speaker, Sarah is used to speaking honestly and eloquently. While at the Process, she voiced her feelings of wanting to leave. In response, her coach, Drew, suggested she take it one session at a time. Sarah was able to do that and stayed. She's glad she did.
Sarah beautifully expresses that she found it "really overwhelming to take on the history of being yourself and of what that has been." This is what the Process is about. It is where you learn to face yourself, your past, and your behaviors. And it's where you discover deep compassion and forgiveness for yourself and others.
We're grateful to her for sharing her experience and insights from her week at the Process. We hope you enjoy this engaging, enlightening conversation with Sarah and Drew.
More about Sarah Hernholm:
Sarah Hernholm is the Founder and President of Whatever It Takes (WIT). She hosts both the DO WIT podcast and the Just Start podcast. Sarah focuses on creating platforms for teens and young adults to use their voices, launch businesses, and create sustainable impact in their communities.
Sarah champions young entrepreneurs committed to innovation and doing “whatever it takes to make the world a better place.” She’s a three-time TEDx speaker, a contributor to FORBES, a Today Show blogger, editor of WIT Magazine, a WSB speaker, and, one of these days, she will finally finish her book “The 11 Tips for Doing WIT.”
Follow Sarah (Miss WIT), Doing Wit, and the WIT Podcast.
As mentioned in this episode:
Hoffman Retreat Site Connecticut - Guest House
• Donate to Guest House
Hoffman Tools
Gratitude -
• "Focus on the Give, not the Get"
• Gratitude Sandwich - Always focus on something good first, then on what needs improvement, and then close with something good.
Hoffman Tool - A Practice of Appreciation and Gratitude
Awareness Hell -
In awareness hell, we use the intellect to create awareness so the body and Spirit lag behind. In awareness hell, we know we are aware of our patterns and the things we do we wish we didn’t do, but we are still unable to change. We understand but feel stuck in this place of hell even though our awareness keeps expanding. To get out of awareness hell, our work to grow and transform must include three additional steps for change. These three steps are Expression, Compassion, and New Ways of Being. All four make up the Cycle of Transformation.
Tweener -
A child who is between the stages of childhood and adolescence. The term "tween" comes from this "in-between" stage
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
This is, I think, something that's really important.
It's gonna sound maybe crazy or maybe impossible,
but I can tell you it's true that
I healed relationships with people at the process
where I never had to have a conversation
with them about it.
Welcome, everybody. My name is Drew Horning, and
this podcast is called Love's Everyday Radius.
(00:21):
It's brought to you by the Hoffman Institute
and its stories and anecdotes
and people we interview
about their life post process
and how it lives in the world radiating
love.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. Sarah
Hearnholm.
(00:42):
Welcome. Oh, well, it's lovely to be here,
my friend and coach.
Wow. Well, we're psyched to have you, and
listeners are psyched for a great conversation.
You've done so much in the world, an
entrepreneur,
a nonprofit
founder,
an executive director,
(01:02):
a former teacher,
and one who
founded
Wit,
whatever
it takes. And you're a speaker. You've done
three TED Talks,
Lots of stuff on your website. So much
in the world that you're helping create with
young people.
Will you tell us a little bit about,
first,
(01:22):
what you do in the world professionally?
The overarching
thing is I just wanna help young people
feel a sense of value and self worth,
and I believe in doing that through
entrepreneurship.
I think it's a really great way to
learn to be of service to others and
to develop grit and fortitude
(01:44):
and resilience.
So I do that through WIT, which is
a nonprofit organization where young people can launch
social
movements, give back projects, businesses,
nonprofits,
podcasts if they want. Something to let them
use their unique gifts and talents in the
world and not have to wait until they're
adults.
I have a podcast.
(02:05):
I write for different publications.
But, really, it all comes down to just
really wanting
to work with young people and young adults
and helping them find a sense of purpose.
Sarah, let's go to
your process. Like, what led you
to the process? You're based out of San
Diego, but you did the process in Connecticut.
(02:27):
How'd you get there? Well, I picked Connecticut
for a reason because I was splitting time
between San Diego, New York City, and I
liked that idea of popping out of the
city and doing it there. It felt like
where I was supposed to go. I don't
know everybody else's experience, but I know mine,
which was
a little bit of sick and tired of
being sick and tired and revisiting, like, the
same
(02:48):
situation again and again and again.
This happens in my life where you start
hearing people talk about something, and you're like,
wait. What is okay. I'm listening. Like, Like,
why do I keep hearing about Hoffman, Hoffman,
Hoffman? And I would hear about it from
people
that I really respected,
like a lot of men in the workforce
and high power jobs that were talking about
(03:08):
it. And so that got me interested because
I was like, okay. It's not just gonna
be some, like, woo woo thing. Okay. Because
if these guys are going, that must mean
something. So I I just said we're opening
up the laptop, and they have the you
have this, like, great slogan on the home
page, which is like,
yeah, when you're serious about change.
And I was. And I really, you know,
(03:29):
my motto is whatever it takes in life.
It's I teach that motto. I live that
motto. And I just was tired.
I
was tired of this pattern,
and I needed to change it. And I
wanted to change it. But I remember, like,
doing the interview,
I was
as I'm sure you will not be surprised,
you know, I was pushing back on my
phone call of, like, well, better not be
(03:49):
this, and it better I hope it's not
like this. And I remember one of the
things I said was, I can't go into
a room
and hear about everyone's problems because I already
do that in my life, in my job,
because I'm gonna wanna fix everybody and save
everybody.
And they're like, it's not that. And I
was like, how is it not that if
we're all going there because we have shit?
And
(04:11):
and it wasn't. What would be your answer
to that question that
how is it that you can go into
a room
where everyone has these problems
and yet
it's not
all about people sharing those problems and, therefore,
you having to fix everybody because that's what
you normally do in your life.
(04:33):
How did it end up not being that?
Because
what
I experienced
was
that you can do the work
and
be called to do the work
without having to hear everybody
doing the work and hearing their stories. And
I think that's what the Hoffman process does
(04:54):
really well.
There's something about the way it's facilitated
and done that
you just feel like it's tailored to you
without having to talk about all your stuff
and without having to listen
to everybody else's stuff.
And there's a lot of language in the
world. You gotta hold space for people. You
gotta hold space for people. But a lot
(05:15):
of us hold space, like, every day for
people in our lives, and we need to,
like, not have to do that.
And we need to go somewhere that allows
us to just go in
and almost be selfish with your healing and
with your work, and I think that was
my experience. So that was really beneficial to
me. Full transparency. Didn't love it right away.
(05:37):
Wanted to leave
because it was a lot. You know? It's
easier to focus on other people than yourself.
Yeah. I was gonna say you don't have
to hold space for other people. It was
a week where you got to hold space
for yourself.
Yeah. But sometimes you like to avoid.
Yeah. Caretaking
turns out
has some patterns of avoidance in it. Doesn't
(05:58):
it? Yes. For sure.
So you find yourself,
as I've heard in maybe an article you
wrote
or where you were interviewed that
entrepreneurship
is great, but there's a culture around entrepreneurship
that is all about burnout
and almost glorifying
burnout.
(06:18):
Was that part of what led you to
the process as well? This is something gosh.
I it's so fun to be, like, thinking
about that experience for myself and how healing
it was for me
and the resistance to get there. You know?
Sometimes there is a resistance to actually face
the things.
That's normal. I mean, that's super normal. You
know, like, always, like, go running and, like,
skipping into healing. But I think when it
(06:41):
comes to, like, burnout,
deeper than that for me was just so
much identity around my work. So much praise
around my work. So much recognition around my
work, but yet feeling empty inside and feeling
like there was just areas of my life,
specifically my personal life,
that I just could not seem to get
healing around or growth around or the outcomes
(07:02):
that I wanted, but I could really produce
and work.
And what I remember
gosh. I haven't thought about this.
At the end of the process, there's a
chance to kind of introduce yourself and talk
about what you do. And I didn't even
wanna do that because, you know, you don't
talk about your work and everything during this
whole experience.
And at the end, you have a chance
(07:22):
to. I didn't even want to because it
was so nice for that whole week to
just not try to get value and worth
from my work.
That is something that I struggled with that,
like, a lot of my identity was in
my work and and how much I could
produce.
And then not so much now. I think
the culture is changing a bit, but definitely
back when I started my business fifteen years
(07:43):
ago, there was a lot of pride and
hustle
and grinding.
Wait. You don't work, like, twenty four seven,
then you don't want it.
I was guilty of it, and I was
guilty of passing it on to our young
entrepreneurs. And now I don't at all.
We say that if you are doing that,
then you're we're they're doing something wrong, and
we're doing something wrong because that is not
(08:03):
how we live at Wits.
Our motto is whatever it takes, and we'll
say, we do whatever it takes to make
sure we're taking care of ourselves first and
foremost before we start doing things for other
people. That's a shift for sure over the
years. Yeah. You mentioned that at the beginning
of the week, you didn't love it. Gotta
be honest. Didn't love it.
So what happened? Like, how did that shift?
(08:25):
I'm kinda curious if you could take us
into your week.
So I was
feeling resistance
to
the process and what was going on,
and two things happened.
One was it was during a break.
I went into the elevator to go up
to my room, and out loud,
(08:47):
I said,
the hard homes don't do this. And it
was like this generalization
of just kind of, like,
how I've lived my life or, like, my
identity around how I might have grown up.
Like, just a little bit of, like, we
are very private people. So, like, what are
what am I doing in this space of,
like, letting these feelings
(09:07):
out or whatever? So that was an interesting
resistance.
And that resistance led to me being like,
I'm out. Like, I'm bouncing. Like, I'm out.
If it's uncomfortable, I can bounce, and I
can bounce really easily because I can hop
on a plane, and I can go, and
I can do, and I can produce.
I do not like feeling trapped, and I
do not like feeling like there's not an
(09:27):
exit strategy.
Word got back that I was ready to
bounce, and I was sitting in the lobby
of this location. And you came out, and
you were just like,
cool. Yeah. I mean, if you want to,
like,
totally understand. Like, you can go. But do
you think that you could, like gosh. I
might get emotional, but, like, you were like
do you think you could just give it,
(09:48):
like,
one more day? Just one more session,
one more thing, and then totally go. And
that is the kind of person that I
need in my life for a coach. Just
like, can you just don't have to commit
forever. I don't have to commit for
seven days.
But there's this really interesting thing that you're
gonna be doing
this afternoon, and I just think
(10:11):
you're gonna get something from it. And if
you don't, like, hugs and, like, go on
your way.
I finished the whole week, and it was
one of the best things I've ever done
in my life.
Sarah, you mentioned
some possible tears.
What was so tender about that moment
in that week?
Because I think that sometimes
(10:34):
you just, like, need people to meet you
where you're at,
and you just need people to not
push you too much. You know?
I'm like a doer for sure.
I love a good, you know, trainer that's
like, you can do five more reps. Like,
you've got this. Like, you know, I have
that, like, athlete sense of, like, who I
(10:55):
am around. Just like, let's go. Let's do
let and I love that part of me.
But there's sometimes
sometimes you just need someone to, like,
get down for you into small steps.
It can be really overwhelming to take on
the
history of being yourself and of what that
has been.
Oh my god.
(11:16):
It can be really overwhelming
to take on the history of being yourself
and what that has been.
I think you just described
every person's experience
when they attempt to change
some sense of being overwhelmed
by the history of having been this person
(11:37):
up until now.
And there's also this feeling that comes with
you can be ready for change,
and you can be willing to do the
work.
Those things can be true.
And you can get into
the reality of doing that work
and feel resistance
(11:59):
and feel justifiable
resistance
or even the patterns of
blame.
For me, although I'm somebody who is very
big on
taking responsibility for my actions and I wanna
own it and not make excuses,
there are times
that I can go, like, for example, I'll
just be specific for this experience.
(12:21):
Well, the way that person talks is, like,
really annoying. And so why would I wanna
stay here? But they can't even get to
a point. They're just, like, talking in circles,
and, like, I'm allowed to be annoyed by
that because, hello, you're running this operation here,
like, get to the point. So that can
feel, like, really justifiable.
That's just another
pattern or another excuse
(12:43):
to not take responsibility
and, like, and take action. So that was
something that I definitely experienced.
And then when you stayed, Sarah,
and you didn't leave,
what else transpired for you? That was
mid to early mid part of the week.
How did the week unfold? What happened? Yeah.
(13:03):
That was definitely the beginning. I'm saying that
was probably day two or three that that
happened for sure. I was resistant day one.
I mean, another coach that was there listened
to one of my
pieces of feedback of how I was noticing
things going.
So I was still looking outward
and eventually
went inward. But I think a lot of
it has to do with
(13:25):
you know, what I really think helped was
how
much we were quiet.
So there's, like, a lot of things that
happen, but then you can go off and
it's really, like, required that you just be
quiet.
And that was really helpful for me.
Sometimes
when the outside is quiet, it even helps
you go inside.
So I think I just eventually, throughout the
(13:46):
week,
trusted the process,
got more evidence that it worked,
got more proof that I was feeling better,
saw things working and saw things shifting even
within me that
I didn't even know were possible to shift
and change.
But I definitely took, like, a day by
day approach. I think that that's honest to
(14:07):
say or session by session.
Yeah.
And that kind of chunking it up
helped make it more
manageable.
Sarah, you come out
on Friday, and
what do you remember about
emerging
at the end of your week?
(14:28):
A few things.
One, thank goodness I didn't go right back
into the city. I took some time to
go somewhere and just
reentry is a real thing.
I remember, like, not wanting to get on
my phone. I remember not wanting to, like,
plug back in. I was a little nervous
that
I wouldn't be able to savor everything that
(14:49):
I learned, you know, that I was gonna
all of a sudden just disappear if I
logged back in right away to all of
the different platforms and all those kinds of
things.
I do remember a feeling for sure, a
feeling of
real inner peace and calm,
and
a feeling
of and a knowing that I had
(15:11):
a new set of tools in my tool
kit, which that was really cool to me.
When I came out of my process,
COVID had just kicked off.
I was so
well equipped to handle
what came so quickly with my business
because I had these tools.
(15:32):
It was such a gift, very divine order
of events for me to have gone in
right before that happened in our world. And
then my mindset and my way to handle
things was very different than it would have
been if I hadn't had the tools.
That was such a beautiful process, such transformation,
such connection,
(15:53):
and then we head into this disconnection,
isolation
of COVID.
What's so interesting and what's a gift that
everybody that works at Hoffman gave us is
they they didn't tell us. You don't really
know what's happening on the outside world when
you're in the process.
We got to have that experience,
and I'm so grateful they let us go
all the way through.
(16:15):
I think it's just a testament
to, like, why going to the process is
so
beneficial. It's like, you get these tools that
will help you
in the real world no matter what's coming
at you. We came out to something that
was
life changing,
ultimately, like a life changing experience. And for
some of us, for many years, based on
where you lived in the country, you know,
(16:36):
a lot of us I mean, I was
out in California, which is very different than
what happened to people that were living in
Tennessee.
That was a very unique experience for some
of us, you know, based on where you
were in this country. And I'm just grateful
so grateful that I had that experience before
I dealt with all that.
Sarah, not
everybody
did what you did, and that is you
(16:57):
felt so much gratitude.
You made a donation to the guest house.
I was just reading and doing some research
around your stuff.
Gratitude is a thing for what you talk
about. Can you just share a little bit
about,
you know, why
the gratitude
and the donation and how wit and you
(17:18):
hold gratitude in your life?
Gratitude
is everything.
It's a part of my everyday life.
Let's say
things aren't going my way. Things aren't happening
as I would like them to happen.
The deal hasn't gone through,
and, you know, certain things have not happened.
I say thank you in advance. Thank you
(17:39):
in advance for the good that is already
on its way and for the solution that
is coming because this isn't the end, and
this isn't the final
say on this topic or on this situation.
So I just wanna say thank you in
advance
for what's coming, and
I appreciate this opportunity
to learn and to grow. That's a tool
(17:59):
that I use.
I teach young people to focus on the
give more than the get
because you wanna walk in the world focusing
more on the give, not what people are
supposed to give you or, like, what you're
supposed to get from people.
Ultimately, you end up getting so much in
life when you focus on the give more
than the get,
but that's a big thing. We also teach
(18:21):
this is sounds very trite in elementary, but
I used to be an elementary school teacher.
So we focus on something called a gratitude
sandwich at Witt. And, yes, I work with
teenagers and young adults,
so it doesn't matter. We all love a
little fun way to remember something. But
to always in life, even if you're giving
(18:41):
feedback to somebody is, like, focus on something
that's good and give great gratitude for that.
And then focus on something that might need
improvement, and then focus on something that is
going well. So just a lot of
focus and discipline.
It's a muscle that you must work if
it does not come naturally for you.
But
gratitude
is ultimately
(19:03):
kept my heart open
when it came for finding love, you know,
which is something that came later for me
in life.
But if I had gotten really cynical
and
felt like
I was gonna be the one left out
of that kind of experience in life, that
could've really
prevented me from meeting what ultimately became the
(19:24):
love of my life
because
my gratitude was, like,
thank you for the man that's on his
way to me. I don't know who he
is yet. Gotta be really great if he
came sooner rather than later.
But
it really kept up me to have an
open heart, and
that's what gratitude can do for you. It
keeps you from being cynical, and it keeps
(19:44):
you from feeling like you're left out of
the good. Do you feel like Hoffman has
spilled over into helping
you be a better partner in your marriage?
I was a different person when I came
out of Hoffman. Now to anybody thinking that
it's, like, a great little recipe of, like,
you go in, then you come out, you
find the love of your life, that's not
what happened.
It was a couple years later,
but it laid a foundation
(20:06):
for me.
Hoffman was the first place
where I saw
grown men
in strong masculine energy
feel their feelings in a way that was
at first uncomfortable for me,
and then, for lack of a better word,
very attractive to me.
(20:27):
I didn't know those two things could be
true, that you could be a strong, like,
masculine energy male
and also
feel your feelings
and
have that not mean that I then needed
to, like, take care of you in a
way that was, like, not really
my job.
That was a very transformative
(20:47):
experience for me to see men
that
were able
to be very strong, like alpha male energy
men,
and also be very in touch with their
feelings
and articulate things at times when it was
necessary. Because you don't really talk a whole
lot about your stuff at Hoffman. But, yeah,
that was a very interesting thing for me
to see.
(21:08):
That's cool. In those men
breaking the stereotype of what it means to
be a man
by allowing
emotion to become
part of their expression
and the vulnerability
that comes with that. In their breaking of
that gender role,
you also were able to break your gender
role and feeling like you had to take
(21:29):
care of them or mother them, you could
just
be yourself in the presence of that. Yeah.
I really did learn that. I know that
that
has helped me. That was just a very
big thing for me to see all of
that.
I think that sometimes,
I guess, I thought, you know, women are
this way and men are this way or
(21:51):
whatever those things are that you kind of
just the conclusions that you draw in your
life. And so it really was wonderful for
me to see what I saw
at the process. And then in in terms
of my marriage,
I just know that
I'm a better person
having gone through the process with more tools,
more awareness. Although, I love this as something
(22:12):
that that's also pointed out at the process
in the beginning or even, like, before you
get there. There's some language around
when you're almost in
self
awareness
paralysis, like a loop. Like, there's almost, like,
so much self awareness you can do. Like,
you're so self aware that you're almost sick
and tired of how much you are aware
of all of your stuff. That was, like,
(22:33):
a big thing for me was, like, I
can't go through one more workshop or retreat
that helps me become more self aware. I
am very aware
of what's going on. I would like to
move through it, and I would like to
have a different set of tools. And so
that was really helpful to me because I'm
a somebody that people might look at through
(22:53):
my work and my resume as being, like,
a little bit of a self help person.
There's some truth to that, but I'm also
somebody who just, sometimes you need, like, to
shake things up and just not be all
self aware.
Yeah. I think awareness hell
is sometimes what we call it just because
people
use their intellect to create awareness, but their
body and their emotional self, their spirit are
(23:15):
kinda lagging behind. That's exactly what it was.
And I remember laughing
laughing in relativeness. Like, that's exactly how it
feels. Oh my gosh. Yes. That's exactly how
it feels.
Yeah. This is the importance of cellular experiences,
immersive experiences that
engage your whole
part of your being. Yes. That is something
(23:35):
that
you do at the process. The immersive experience
at a cellular
level
resulted in me having a lot of freedom
in some of my relationships.
This is, I think, something that's really important.
It's gonna sound
maybe crazy or maybe impossible, but I can
tell you it's true
that I healed relationships with people at the
(23:57):
process where I never had to have a
conversation with them about it.
There was healing in relationships that I have
and had that
came through the results
of the immersive experience at the process.
And not because I had to have a
conversation with them about something. I became different.
(24:19):
And I showed up in those relationships in
a different way
as a result of the experience that I
went through
at the process.
Wow.
So the relationships you had pre and post
process are very different,
but not because you had some processing
conversation with those people. It's just because you
(24:40):
were different. Yeah. Because I processed at the
process.
And so then
the stuff that I needed to work through
was worked through. So then when I went
back into those relationships,
I was no longer looking for certain things
from those people or needing certain things or
even
feeling certain things because I'd already worked through
(25:01):
them. And I think that's such a beautiful
thing to know about life
and about the
process. Yeah.
You talked about talking about this with people.
But when you recommend it, how do you
do that in your
work, in your personal life? What's that look
like? Well, sometimes people might ask me,
well, tell me how you you're able to
(25:21):
have this type of
approach to life or this reaction to this
situation. And then I that would be a
way that I can talk about, well, you
know, I've got different tools in my tool
kit, different things that I've done.
And one of the experiences has been the
Hoffman process.
I think because in my world,
I'm around people that are very
high achieving people,
(25:42):
and they don't have a lot of people
in their
work life that they can share their
vulnerabilities with or their issues with because, like,
they have to always have it together.
I know what that looks like and what
that can sound like when I can tell
that people are just trying to hold it
together and don't have
a place or a person to share that
(26:05):
things are a lot harder than they care
to admit, I like to recommend the Hoffman
process to people like that.
Because when you're, like, the top of the
food chain at your work, not many people
wanna hear that you have problems
because you're supposed to be fixing all of
theirs.
And I think people need help that are
leading.
Yeah. And you have fewer and fewer peers.
(26:27):
Fewer and fewer peers and
not a lot of
people that wanna hear that you are struggling
because they're relying on you to be the
one that's helping them through their struggle,
and they don't wanna think that their leader
is struggling too. Or sometimes it can be
a situation where some of us are thriving
in our work life, but really struggling in
(26:48):
our personal life.
You get to live a life where both
feel balanced.
Sarah, I can't end this conversation without asking
about
adolescents
and tweeners
in a changing world. They're a focus.
They're changing themselves, going through radical things in
their lives, physiologically,
(27:08):
but also emotionally.
What do you notice
in dealing with
this generation's
adolescent group and
preadolescent
group? What what are some of your observations
about that sector of our population?
Well,
you know, I just
have such
(27:28):
respect for teenagers.
I really do. That's why I work with
them.
I really appreciate what they're navigating and the
world that we created for them
and the things that we put in their
hands. For example, phones
and apps. And then we expected them to
then
thrive as human beings, but no
(27:49):
without any guardrails around consuming
what's out there in the world on these
phones and on these apps.
They're looking for
a sense of belonging, but so is everybody,
honestly. I mean, I think because I work
with young people and I work with adults,
I just see
what we all have in common, which is
just
(28:09):
the majority of us wanna feel loved.
Well, I think everybody wants to feel loved,
whether they wanna use that word, that language
or not. Everyone wants to feel loved, wanna
feel valued, and we wanna feel
a sense of purpose, like a reason to
get up in the morning, a sense of,
you know, contributing,
validation
of some kind. And that's the same for
(28:29):
young people.
Unfortunately, I don't think adults have done a
really good job of
creating a world for them
that validates them for the things that really
make them special. Adults created a world, an
education world that says if you get a's,
we validate you on a higher level. If
you are,
you know, successful in, like, doing all these
(28:52):
sorts of extracurricular activities, then you get validation
and recognition, and then we want you in
this club, or then we want you in
our college. Young people have a lot more
to offer than just high GPAs
and
high point scores in a on a sports
team. Like, there's a lot more going on
with them, and I would just wish that
there was more opportunities for them to
share those other gifts.
(29:13):
Well, thank you for your service to this
group of people which
is often overlooked. Right? Yeah. And thought down
upon.
People kind of roll their eyes at teens,
like,
teenagers. Like, they're so this. They're so that.
I think we need to take another look
at our adult role and what we've done
to teenagers.
(29:33):
Yeah.
Point the finger back at us, look in
the mirror.
Yeah.
I mean, we're the adults in the room.
We're the adults. We're raising them. Okay. So
if you don't like something or you don't
like what they're doing, what's your role in
that? Because they're just young people with, like,
twelve years on the planet just trying to
figure it out. So I think we can
do better. So what's it like to
(29:56):
have reflected here on your life, on
your process,
remembering
those
days,
years ago?
What do you notice in the reflecting on
it? I was really honored when you asked
me to come on the podcast.
I was even telling my husband,
like, I really
(30:16):
wanna be so present for that conversation
because
that
experience
meant so much to me and changed my
life.
And then I said to him, I also,
though,
just want everyone to go. When something changes
your life at such a deep level,
you just want other people to know that
(30:37):
that it's out there for them to have
that chance to do it. And there's a
lot that happens in the process that you're
asked not to go out and talk about
in the world.
I never have because I so desperately want
people to have the experience in its purest
form that I would never wanna ruin it
or attain it or
do anything. So that's kind of respect that
I have for it. But talking to you
(30:57):
about it today has been
very emotional for me because you were my
coach.
So that's that's very significant
to me to see you again
and to hear your voice again
and to know that you were in the
trenches with me. And I think
(31:17):
it's really wonderful that I've had people in
the trenches with me that I may not
see every day. I mean, I don't see
you every day. I don't talk to you
every day. You know, we're not in touch
on a regular basis. But
that was something that I was like, gosh.
This is gonna be so special to see
the person that guided me through that week
and
really saw all different sides of me
(31:39):
and then didn't cast me aside.
That was really
important to me to have somebody see
all the different parts of me
and
still
stand by me and still encourage me and
still
think that I had value in the world
that was not even connected to anything that
(32:00):
I was producing in my work, but just
because of who I am.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Sarah, thank you so much for
coming on today for this conversation.
Thank you for having me.
(32:23):
Thank you for listening to our podcast. My
name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and
president of Hoffman Institute Foundation.
And I'm Razi Graci,
Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute
Foundation.
Our mission is to provide people greater access
to the wisdom and power of love. In
themselves, in each other and in the world.
(32:44):
To find out more, please go to hompaninstitute.org.
This is, I think, something that's really important.
It's gonna sound maybe crazy or maybe impossible,
but I can tell you it's true that
I healed relationships with people at the process
where I never had to have a conversation
with them about it.
Welcome, everybody. My name is Drew Horning, and
this podcast is called Love's Everyday Radius.
(00:21):
It's brought to you by the Hoffman Institute
and its stories and anecdotes
and people we interview
about their life post process
and how it lives in the world radiating
love.
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Hoffman podcast. Sarah
Hearnholm.
(00:42):
Welcome. Oh, well, it's lovely to be here,
my friend and coach.
Wow. Well, we're psyched to have you, and
listeners are psyched for a great conversation.
You've done so much in the world, an
entrepreneur,
a nonprofit
founder,
an executive director,
(01:02):
a former teacher,
and one who
founded
Wit,
whatever
it takes. And you're a speaker. You've done
three TED Talks,
Lots of stuff on your website. So much
in the world that you're helping create with
young people.
Will you tell us a little bit about,
first,
(01:22):
what you do in the world professionally?
The overarching
thing is I just wanna help young people
feel a sense of value and self worth,
and I believe in doing that through
entrepreneurship.
I think it's a really great way to
learn to be of service to others and
to develop grit and fortitude
(01:44):
and resilience.
So I do that through WIT, which is
a nonprofit organization where young people can launch
social
movements, give back projects, businesses,
nonprofits,
podcasts if they want. Something to let them
use their unique gifts and talents in the
world and not have to wait until they're
adults.
I have a podcast.
(02:05):
I write for different publications.
But, really, it all comes down to just
really wanting
to work with young people and young adults
and helping them find a sense of purpose.
Sarah, let's go to
your process. Like, what led you
to the process? You're based out of San
Diego, but you did the process in Connecticut.
(02:27):
How'd you get there? Well, I picked Connecticut
for a reason because I was splitting time
between San Diego, New York City, and I
liked that idea of popping out of the
city and doing it there. It felt like
where I was supposed to go. I don't
know everybody else's experience, but I know mine,
which was
a little bit of sick and tired of
being sick and tired and revisiting, like, the
same
(02:48):
situation again and again and again.
This happens in my life where you start
hearing people talk about something, and you're like,
wait. What is okay. I'm listening. Like, Like,
why do I keep hearing about Hoffman, Hoffman,
Hoffman? And I would hear about it from
people
that I really respected,
like a lot of men in the workforce
and high power jobs that were talking about
(03:08):
it. And so that got me interested because
I was like, okay. It's not just gonna
be some, like, woo woo thing. Okay. Because
if these guys are going, that must mean
something. So I I just said we're opening
up the laptop, and they have the you
have this, like, great slogan on the home
page, which is like,
yeah, when you're serious about change.
And I was. And I really, you know,
(03:29):
my motto is whatever it takes in life.
It's I teach that motto. I live that
motto. And I just was tired.
I
was tired of this pattern,
and I needed to change it. And I
wanted to change it. But I remember, like,
doing the interview,
I was
as I'm sure you will not be surprised,
you know, I was pushing back on my
phone call of, like, well, better not be
(03:49):
this, and it better I hope it's not
like this. And I remember one of the
things I said was, I can't go into
a room
and hear about everyone's problems because I already
do that in my life, in my job,
because I'm gonna wanna fix everybody and save
everybody.
And they're like, it's not that. And I
was like, how is it not that if
we're all going there because we have shit?
And
(04:11):
and it wasn't. What would be your answer
to that question that
how is it that you can go into
a room
where everyone has these problems
and yet
it's not
all about people sharing those problems and, therefore,
you having to fix everybody because that's what
you normally do in your life.
(04:33):
How did it end up not being that?
Because
what
I experienced
was
that you can do the work
and
be called to do the work
without having to hear everybody
doing the work and hearing their stories. And
I think that's what the Hoffman process does
(04:54):
really well.
There's something about the way it's facilitated
and done that
you just feel like it's tailored to you
without having to talk about all your stuff
and without having to listen
to everybody else's stuff.
And there's a lot of language in the
world. You gotta hold space for people. You
gotta hold space for people. But a lot
(05:15):
of us hold space, like, every day for
people in our lives, and we need to,
like, not have to do that.
And we need to go somewhere that allows
us to just go in
and almost be selfish with your healing and
with your work, and I think that was
my experience. So that was really beneficial to
me. Full transparency. Didn't love it right away.
(05:37):
Wanted to leave
because it was a lot. You know? It's
easier to focus on other people than yourself.
Yeah. I was gonna say you don't have
to hold space for other people. It was
a week where you got to hold space
for yourself.
Yeah. But sometimes you like to avoid.
Yeah. Caretaking
turns out
has some patterns of avoidance in it. Doesn't
(05:58):
it? Yes. For sure.
So you find yourself,
as I've heard in maybe an article you
wrote
or where you were interviewed that
entrepreneurship
is great, but there's a culture around entrepreneurship
that is all about burnout
and almost glorifying
burnout.
(06:18):
Was that part of what led you to
the process as well? This is something gosh.
I it's so fun to be, like, thinking
about that experience for myself and how healing
it was for me
and the resistance to get there. You know?
Sometimes there is a resistance to actually face
the things.
That's normal. I mean, that's super normal. You
know, like, always, like, go running and, like,
skipping into healing. But I think when it
(06:41):
comes to, like, burnout,
deeper than that for me was just so
much identity around my work. So much praise
around my work. So much recognition around my
work, but yet feeling empty inside and feeling
like there was just areas of my life,
specifically my personal life,
that I just could not seem to get
healing around or growth around or the outcomes
(07:02):
that I wanted, but I could really produce
and work.
And what I remember
gosh. I haven't thought about this.
At the end of the process, there's a
chance to kind of introduce yourself and talk
about what you do. And I didn't even
wanna do that because, you know, you don't
talk about your work and everything during this
whole experience.
And at the end, you have a chance
(07:22):
to. I didn't even want to because it
was so nice for that whole week to
just not try to get value and worth
from my work.
That is something that I struggled with that,
like, a lot of my identity was in
my work and and how much I could
produce.
And then not so much now. I think
the culture is changing a bit, but definitely
back when I started my business fifteen years
(07:43):
ago, there was a lot of pride and
hustle
and grinding.
Wait. You don't work, like, twenty four seven,
then you don't want it.
I was guilty of it, and I was
guilty of passing it on to our young
entrepreneurs. And now I don't at all.
We say that if you are doing that,
then you're we're they're doing something wrong, and
we're doing something wrong because that is not
(08:03):
how we live at Wits.
Our motto is whatever it takes, and we'll
say, we do whatever it takes to make
sure we're taking care of ourselves first and
foremost before we start doing things for other
people. That's a shift for sure over the
years. Yeah. You mentioned that at the beginning
of the week, you didn't love it. Gotta
be honest. Didn't love it.
So what happened? Like, how did that shift?
(08:25):
I'm kinda curious if you could take us
into your week.
So I was
feeling resistance
to
the process and what was going on,
and two things happened.
One was it was during a break.
I went into the elevator to go up
to my room, and out loud,
(08:47):
I said,
the hard homes don't do this. And it
was like this generalization
of just kind of, like,
how I've lived my life or, like, my
identity around how I might have grown up.
Like, just a little bit of, like, we
are very private people. So, like, what are
what am I doing in this space of,
like, letting these feelings
(09:07):
out or whatever? So that was an interesting
resistance.
And that resistance led to me being like,
I'm out. Like, I'm bouncing. Like, I'm out.
If it's uncomfortable, I can bounce, and I
can bounce really easily because I can hop
on a plane, and I can go, and
I can do, and I can produce.
I do not like feeling trapped, and I
do not like feeling like there's not an
(09:27):
exit strategy.
Word got back that I was ready to
bounce, and I was sitting in the lobby
of this location. And you came out, and
you were just like,
cool. Yeah. I mean, if you want to,
like,
totally understand. Like, you can go. But do
you think that you could, like gosh. I
might get emotional, but, like, you were like
do you think you could just give it,
(09:48):
like,
one more day? Just one more session,
one more thing, and then totally go. And
that is the kind of person that I
need in my life for a coach. Just
like, can you just don't have to commit
forever. I don't have to commit for
seven days.
But there's this really interesting thing that you're
gonna be doing
this afternoon, and I just think
(10:11):
you're gonna get something from it. And if
you don't, like, hugs and, like, go on
your way.
I finished the whole week, and it was
one of the best things I've ever done
in my life.
Sarah, you mentioned
some possible tears.
What was so tender about that moment
in that week?
Because I think that sometimes
(10:34):
you just, like, need people to meet you
where you're at,
and you just need people to not
push you too much. You know?
I'm like a doer for sure.
I love a good, you know, trainer that's
like, you can do five more reps. Like,
you've got this. Like, you know, I have
that, like, athlete sense of, like, who I
(10:55):
am around. Just like, let's go. Let's do
let and I love that part of me.
But there's sometimes
sometimes you just need someone to, like,
get down for you into small steps.
It can be really overwhelming to take on
the
history of being yourself and of what that
has been.
Oh my god.
(11:16):
It can be really overwhelming
to take on the history of being yourself
and what that has been.
I think you just described
every person's experience
when they attempt to change
some sense of being overwhelmed
by the history of having been this person
(11:37):
up until now.
And there's also this feeling that comes with
you can be ready for change,
and you can be willing to do the
work.
Those things can be true.
And you can get into
the reality of doing that work
and feel resistance
(11:59):
and feel justifiable
resistance
or even the patterns of
blame.
For me, although I'm somebody who is very
big on
taking responsibility for my actions and I wanna
own it and not make excuses,
there are times
that I can go, like, for example, I'll
just be specific for this experience.
(12:21):
Well, the way that person talks is, like,
really annoying. And so why would I wanna
stay here? But they can't even get to
a point. They're just, like, talking in circles,
and, like, I'm allowed to be annoyed by
that because, hello, you're running this operation here,
like, get to the point. So that can
feel, like, really justifiable.
That's just another
pattern or another excuse
(12:43):
to not take responsibility
and, like, and take action. So that was
something that I definitely experienced.
And then when you stayed, Sarah,
and you didn't leave,
what else transpired for you? That was
mid to early mid part of the week.
How did the week unfold? What happened? Yeah.
(13:03):
That was definitely the beginning. I'm saying that
was probably day two or three that that
happened for sure. I was resistant day one.
I mean, another coach that was there listened
to one of my
pieces of feedback of how I was noticing
things going.
So I was still looking outward
and eventually
went inward. But I think a lot of
it has to do with
(13:25):
you know, what I really think helped was
how
much we were quiet.
So there's, like, a lot of things that
happen, but then you can go off and
it's really, like, required that you just be
quiet.
And that was really helpful for me.
Sometimes
when the outside is quiet, it even helps
you go inside.
So I think I just eventually, throughout the
(13:46):
week,
trusted the process,
got more evidence that it worked,
got more proof that I was feeling better,
saw things working and saw things shifting even
within me that
I didn't even know were possible to shift
and change.
But I definitely took, like, a day by
day approach. I think that that's honest to
(14:07):
say or session by session.
Yeah.
And that kind of chunking it up
helped make it more
manageable.
Sarah, you come out
on Friday, and
what do you remember about
emerging
at the end of your week?
(14:28):
A few things.
One, thank goodness I didn't go right back
into the city. I took some time to
go somewhere and just
reentry is a real thing.
I remember, like, not wanting to get on
my phone. I remember not wanting to, like,
plug back in. I was a little nervous
that
I wouldn't be able to savor everything that
(14:49):
I learned, you know, that I was gonna
all of a sudden just disappear if I
logged back in right away to all of
the different platforms and all those kinds of
things.
I do remember a feeling for sure, a
feeling of
real inner peace and calm,
and
a feeling
of and a knowing that I had
(15:11):
a new set of tools in my tool
kit, which that was really cool to me.
When I came out of my process,
COVID had just kicked off.
I was so
well equipped to handle
what came so quickly with my business
because I had these tools.
(15:32):
It was such a gift, very divine order
of events for me to have gone in
right before that happened in our world. And
then my mindset and my way to handle
things was very different than it would have
been if I hadn't had the tools.
That was such a beautiful process, such transformation,
such connection,
(15:53):
and then we head into this disconnection,
isolation
of COVID.
What's so interesting and what's a gift that
everybody that works at Hoffman gave us is
they they didn't tell us. You don't really
know what's happening on the outside world when
you're in the process.
We got to have that experience,
and I'm so grateful they let us go
all the way through.
(16:15):
I think it's just a testament
to, like, why going to the process is
so
beneficial. It's like, you get these tools that
will help you
in the real world no matter what's coming
at you. We came out to something that
was
life changing,
ultimately, like a life changing experience. And for
some of us, for many years, based on
where you lived in the country, you know,
(16:36):
a lot of us I mean, I was
out in California, which is very different than
what happened to people that were living in
Tennessee.
That was a very unique experience for some
of us, you know, based on where you
were in this country. And I'm just grateful
so grateful that I had that experience before
I dealt with all that.
Sarah, not
everybody
did what you did, and that is you
(16:57):
felt so much gratitude.
You made a donation to the guest house.
I was just reading and doing some research
around your stuff.
Gratitude is a thing for what you talk
about. Can you just share a little bit
about,
you know, why
the gratitude
and the donation and how wit and you
(17:18):
hold gratitude in your life?
Gratitude
is everything.
It's a part of my everyday life.
Let's say
things aren't going my way. Things aren't happening
as I would like them to happen.
The deal hasn't gone through,
and, you know, certain things have not happened.
I say thank you in advance. Thank you
(17:39):
in advance for the good that is already
on its way and for the solution that
is coming because this isn't the end, and
this isn't the final
say on this topic or on this situation.
So I just wanna say thank you in
advance
for what's coming, and
I appreciate this opportunity
to learn and to grow. That's a tool
(17:59):
that I use.
I teach young people to focus on the
give more than the get
because you wanna walk in the world focusing
more on the give, not what people are
supposed to give you or, like, what you're
supposed to get from people.
Ultimately, you end up getting so much in
life when you focus on the give more
than the get,
but that's a big thing. We also teach
(18:21):
this is sounds very trite in elementary, but
I used to be an elementary school teacher.
So we focus on something called a gratitude
sandwich at Witt. And, yes, I work with
teenagers and young adults,
so it doesn't matter. We all love a
little fun way to remember something. But
to always in life, even if you're giving
(18:41):
feedback to somebody is, like, focus on something
that's good and give great gratitude for that.
And then focus on something that might need
improvement, and then focus on something that is
going well. So just a lot of
focus and discipline.
It's a muscle that you must work if
it does not come naturally for you.
But
gratitude
is ultimately
(19:03):
kept my heart open
when it came for finding love, you know,
which is something that came later for me
in life.
But if I had gotten really cynical
and
felt like
I was gonna be the one left out
of that kind of experience in life, that
could've really
prevented me from meeting what ultimately became the
(19:24):
love of my life
because
my gratitude was, like,
thank you for the man that's on his
way to me. I don't know who he
is yet. Gotta be really great if he
came sooner rather than later.
But
it really kept up me to have an
open heart, and
that's what gratitude can do for you. It
keeps you from being cynical, and it keeps
(19:44):
you from feeling like you're left out of
the good. Do you feel like Hoffman has
spilled over into helping
you be a better partner in your marriage?
I was a different person when I came
out of Hoffman. Now to anybody thinking that
it's, like, a great little recipe of, like,
you go in, then you come out, you
find the love of your life, that's not
what happened.
It was a couple years later,
but it laid a foundation
(20:06):
for me.
Hoffman was the first place
where I saw
grown men
in strong masculine energy
feel their feelings in a way that was
at first uncomfortable for me,
and then, for lack of a better word,
very attractive to me.
(20:27):
I didn't know those two things could be
true, that you could be a strong, like,
masculine energy male
and also
feel your feelings
and
have that not mean that I then needed
to, like, take care of you in a
way that was, like, not really
my job.
That was a very transformative
(20:47):
experience for me to see men
that
were able
to be very strong, like alpha male energy
men,
and also be very in touch with their
feelings
and articulate things at times when it was
necessary. Because you don't really talk a whole
lot about your stuff at Hoffman. But, yeah,
that was a very interesting thing for me
to see.
(21:08):
That's cool. In those men
breaking the stereotype of what it means to
be a man
by allowing
emotion to become
part of their expression
and the vulnerability
that comes with that. In their breaking of
that gender role,
you also were able to break your gender
role and feeling like you had to take
(21:29):
care of them or mother them, you could
just
be yourself in the presence of that. Yeah.
I really did learn that. I know that
that
has helped me. That was just a very
big thing for me to see all of
that.
I think that sometimes,
I guess, I thought, you know, women are
this way and men are this way or
(21:51):
whatever those things are that you kind of
just the conclusions that you draw in your
life. And so it really was wonderful for
me to see what I saw
at the process. And then in in terms
of my marriage,
I just know that
I'm a better person
having gone through the process with more tools,
more awareness. Although, I love this as something
(22:12):
that that's also pointed out at the process
in the beginning or even, like, before you
get there. There's some language around
when you're almost in
self
awareness
paralysis, like a loop. Like, there's almost, like,
so much self awareness you can do. Like,
you're so self aware that you're almost sick
and tired of how much you are aware
of all of your stuff. That was, like,
(22:33):
a big thing for me was, like, I
can't go through one more workshop or retreat
that helps me become more self aware. I
am very aware
of what's going on. I would like to
move through it, and I would like to
have a different set of tools. And so
that was really helpful to me because I'm
a somebody that people might look at through
(22:53):
my work and my resume as being, like,
a little bit of a self help person.
There's some truth to that, but I'm also
somebody who just, sometimes you need, like, to
shake things up and just not be all
self aware.
Yeah. I think awareness hell
is sometimes what we call it just because
people
use their intellect to create awareness, but their
body and their emotional self, their spirit are
(23:15):
kinda lagging behind. That's exactly what it was.
And I remember laughing
laughing in relativeness. Like, that's exactly how it
feels. Oh my gosh. Yes. That's exactly how
it feels.
Yeah. This is the importance of cellular experiences,
immersive experiences that
engage your whole
part of your being. Yes. That is something
(23:35):
that
you do at the process. The immersive experience
at a cellular
level
resulted in me having a lot of freedom
in some of my relationships.
This is, I think, something that's really important.
It's gonna sound
maybe crazy or maybe impossible, but I can
tell you it's true
that I healed relationships with people at the
(23:57):
process where I never had to have a
conversation with them about it.
There was healing in relationships that I have
and had that
came through the results
of the immersive experience at the process.
And not because I had to have a
conversation with them about something. I became different.
(24:19):
And I showed up in those relationships in
a different way
as a result of the experience that I
went through
at the process.
Wow.
So the relationships you had pre and post
process are very different,
but not because you had some processing
conversation with those people. It's just because you
(24:40):
were different. Yeah. Because I processed at the
process.
And so then
the stuff that I needed to work through
was worked through. So then when I went
back into those relationships,
I was no longer looking for certain things
from those people or needing certain things or
even
feeling certain things because I'd already worked through
(25:01):
them. And I think that's such a beautiful
thing to know about life
and about the
process. Yeah.
You talked about talking about this with people.
But when you recommend it, how do you
do that in your
work, in your personal life? What's that look
like? Well, sometimes people might ask me,
well, tell me how you you're able to
(25:21):
have this type of
approach to life or this reaction to this
situation. And then I that would be a
way that I can talk about, well, you
know, I've got different tools in my tool
kit, different things that I've done.
And one of the experiences has been the
Hoffman process.
I think because in my world,
I'm around people that are very
high achieving people,
(25:42):
and they don't have a lot of people
in their
work life that they can share their
vulnerabilities with or their issues with because, like,
they have to always have it together.
I know what that looks like and what
that can sound like when I can tell
that people are just trying to hold it
together and don't have
a place or a person to share that
(26:05):
things are a lot harder than they care
to admit, I like to recommend the Hoffman
process to people like that.
Because when you're, like, the top of the
food chain at your work, not many people
wanna hear that you have problems
because you're supposed to be fixing all of
theirs.
And I think people need help that are
leading.
Yeah. And you have fewer and fewer peers.
(26:27):
Fewer and fewer peers and
not a lot of
people that wanna hear that you are struggling
because they're relying on you to be the
one that's helping them through their struggle,
and they don't wanna think that their leader
is struggling too. Or sometimes it can be
a situation where some of us are thriving
in our work life, but really struggling in
(26:48):
our personal life.
You get to live a life where both
feel balanced.
Sarah, I can't end this conversation without asking
about
adolescents
and tweeners
in a changing world. They're a focus.
They're changing themselves, going through radical things in
their lives, physiologically,
(27:08):
but also emotionally.
What do you notice
in dealing with
this generation's
adolescent group and
preadolescent
group? What what are some of your observations
about that sector of our population?
Well,
you know, I just
have such
(27:28):
respect for teenagers.
I really do. That's why I work with
them.
I really appreciate what they're navigating and the
world that we created for them
and the things that we put in their
hands. For example, phones
and apps. And then we expected them to
then
thrive as human beings, but no
(27:49):
without any guardrails around consuming
what's out there in the world on these
phones and on these apps.
They're looking for
a sense of belonging, but so is everybody,
honestly. I mean, I think because I work
with young people and I work with adults,
I just see
what we all have in common, which is
just
(28:09):
the majority of us wanna feel loved.
Well, I think everybody wants to feel loved,
whether they wanna use that word, that language
or not. Everyone wants to feel loved, wanna
feel valued, and we wanna feel
a sense of purpose, like a reason to
get up in the morning, a sense of,
you know, contributing,
validation
of some kind. And that's the same for
(28:29):
young people.
Unfortunately, I don't think adults have done a
really good job of
creating a world for them
that validates them for the things that really
make them special. Adults created a world, an
education world that says if you get a's,
we validate you on a higher level. If
you are,
you know, successful in, like, doing all these
(28:52):
sorts of extracurricular activities, then you get validation
and recognition, and then we want you in
this club, or then we want you in
our college. Young people have a lot more
to offer than just high GPAs
and
high point scores in a on a sports
team. Like, there's a lot more going on
with them, and I would just wish that
there was more opportunities for them to
share those other gifts.
(29:13):
Well, thank you for your service to this
group of people which
is often overlooked. Right? Yeah. And thought down
upon.
People kind of roll their eyes at teens,
like,
teenagers. Like, they're so this. They're so that.
I think we need to take another look
at our adult role and what we've done
to teenagers.
(29:33):
Yeah.
Point the finger back at us, look in
the mirror.
Yeah.
I mean, we're the adults in the room.
We're the adults. We're raising them. Okay. So
if you don't like something or you don't
like what they're doing, what's your role in
that? Because they're just young people with, like,
twelve years on the planet just trying to
figure it out. So I think we can
do better. So what's it like to
(29:56):
have reflected here on your life, on
your process,
remembering
those
days,
years ago?
What do you notice in the reflecting on
it? I was really honored when you asked
me to come on the podcast.
I was even telling my husband,
like, I really
(30:16):
wanna be so present for that conversation
because
that
experience
meant so much to me and changed my
life.
And then I said to him, I also,
though,
just want everyone to go. When something changes
your life at such a deep level,
you just want other people to know that
(30:37):
that it's out there for them to have
that chance to do it. And there's a
lot that happens in the process that you're
asked not to go out and talk about
in the world.
I never have because I so desperately want
people to have the experience in its purest
form that I would never wanna ruin it
or attain it or
do anything. So that's kind of respect that
I have for it. But talking to you
(30:57):
about it today has been
very emotional for me because you were my
coach.
So that's that's very significant
to me to see you again
and to hear your voice again
and to know that you were in the
trenches with me. And I think
(31:17):
it's really wonderful that I've had people in
the trenches with me that I may not
see every day. I mean, I don't see
you every day. I don't talk to you
every day. You know, we're not in touch
on a regular basis. But
that was something that I was like, gosh.
This is gonna be so special to see
the person that guided me through that week
and
really saw all different sides of me
(31:39):
and then didn't cast me aside.
That was really
important to me to have somebody see
all the different parts of me
and
still
stand by me and still encourage me and
still
think that I had value in the world
that was not even connected to anything that
(32:00):
I was producing in my work, but just
because of who I am.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Sarah, thank you so much for
coming on today for this conversation.
Thank you for having me.
(32:23):
Thank you for listening to our podcast. My
name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and
president of Hoffman Institute Foundation.
And I'm Razi Graci,
Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute
Foundation.
Our mission is to provide people greater access
to the wisdom and power of love. In
themselves, in each other and in the world.
(32:44):
To find out more, please go to hompaninstitute.org.
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