May 10, 2025 • 51 mins
What happens when you grow up homeschooled on a sailboat, then experience public school, only to return to homeschooling as a parent? Shellbe's remarkable journey offers a window into an educational path less traveled, filled with powerful insights for any parent questioning traditional education.
Born to parents who rejected conventional schooling, Shellbe spent her early years cruising the Bahamas on a sailboat. Her "classroom" was the open water, where learning to navigate charts, catch fish, and take responsibility weren't electives—they were survival skills. Using the Calvert School curriculum, her education blended formal academics with real-world application in ways most children never experience. "I knew responsibility," Shellbe reflects, recounting how she sailed dinghies with her toddler sister at just eight years old, learned to recover from capsizing, and developed problem-solving skills that have served her throughout life.
When Shellbe entered public school in seventh grade, the contrast was stark. The rigid bell schedule, curriculum gaps, and social dynamics created challenges that shaped her understanding of what education could and should be. Despite her strong foundation in reading and writing, she struggled when the system couldn't accommodate her learning style—an experience that would later inform her approach to teaching her own daughter.
Now homeschooling as a single parent, Shellbe has crafted an education for her daughter that honors both structure and freedom. With formal lessons sometimes just twice weekly, learning happens organically through exploration, measurement, and discovery. When her five-year-old spends a morning examining caterpillars with a magnifying glass, creating habitats, and measuring specimens, Shellbe recognizes this as valuable education that transcends textbooks.
Whether you're currently homeschooling, considering the leap, or simply curious about alternative educational paths, this conversation will challenge your assumptions about how learning happens and what truly matters in preparing children for a fulfilled life.
Connect with Shellbe:
Instagram and Facebook are @Vital.Roots.Coaching
Shellbe is offering a FREE masterclass on how to have an Empowered Pregnancy & Birth next Friday the 16th!!
What is the most important thing we can teach our kids?
HOW TO HANDLE AN EMERGENCY!
This could mean life or death in some cases!
Help a child you know navigate how to handle an emergency situation with ease:
Let's Talk, Emergencies! -and don't forget The Activity Book!
The Tuttle Twins - use code Cheryl15 for 15% the age 5-11 series!
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Facebook: The Homeschool How To Podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region?
And should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome, and with us today Ihave Shelby from Florida.
Shelby was a homeschooledstudent herself and now
homeschools her daughter, shelby, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Thank you so much.
I'm really excited to tell thisstory.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So let's start from the beginning.
What even made your parentshomeschool you in the first
place?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So that's such an interesting question because
since you asked me months ago tocome on and talk about my story
, I've been talking to myparents about this more and my
parents did not have a greatexperience in school themselves
and they decided to go kind ofagainst the grain in their own
lives.
So they bought a sailboat.
They were like 19 and 20,probably and they bought a
(01:12):
sailboat and the story is reallycute because my dad comes and
he's like honey, look what I got.
And it was like a 21 footsailboat and it was like all
beat up and my mom's like whatthe hell is that?
And he's like, come on, we'regoing to go cruising.
And she's like what are youtalking about?
So fast forward.
They were.
They cruised on boats for 30years, 40 years, 40 years, a
(01:33):
long time.
So with that lifestyle um, I wasborn when my mom was 25 and
they just were like working ahomeschool, absolutely, because
they didn't have greatexperiences in school.
So we cruised around theBahamas my sister's four years
younger than me so we cruisedaround the islands and we did a
Calvert school homeschoolingback then and it was.
(01:56):
It was really awesome.
I loved it and I felt like Ilearned so much.
I don't want to jump to thepart of you know, the next part
where I went into public schooland the transition there, but
yeah, I was always homeschooled.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So.
So were you always living on aboat, or did they have like a
home that you'd go to sometimes?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, we were, we lived on a boat until I was 13.
Well, no, actually I correct,we had a little house on an
island in the Bahamas, but Imean that might have been.
That should have just been aboat, because it was literally,
if you can imagine, a littleBahamian island shack.
You know, it's all wide open,birds would fly through, lizards
(02:37):
were crawling on the floor.
It was very Swiss FamilyRobinson, minus the shipwreck in
the beginning, so Swiss Family.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Robinson, minus the shipwreck in the beginning.
So I mean I have so manyquestions about just like, what
do they do for money?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
If you don't mind me asking, no, of course, that is
the number one question.
It's usually how did you getfood and how did you have money?
So we and this can always be amulti-part podcast here, we can
go all through all the thingsbut we lived a very simple life.
And when you don't have, youknow this was in the 80s, so
(03:12):
things were different withboating then when you don't have
an electric bill, a cell phonebill, a cable bill, a car
payment, then you think abouthow much money you don't need.
So we would come to the FloridaKeys and my mom would bartend,
my dad would build boats.
They'd stock up the boat withfood and lots of beans and rice
(03:32):
and canned goods and dad woulddo some maintenance on the boat
and then we'd take off cruisingand back then you didn't need a
passport to be in the Bahamas.
They were pretty fluid, prettyeasy.
So we stayed there for a whilewithout coming back, like we'd
have different stints.
Then we did come back.
They would just stock up theboat again.
So we lived a very simple life.
(03:53):
We caught rainwater.
That's how we had water.
Nowadays boats have watermakers.
Back then, literally it wasjust jugs, or however.
My dad set it up and then wefished all the time spearfishing
.
My sister and I would justspend our days fishing and
making little fires on the beachand cooking our food.
It's crazy to think about whenI tell the story.
It's really amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I love it.
That would be my son's dream todo that.
Did you ever get caught in anystorms?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So not too bad.
I mean, by the time I moved toFlorida off of the boat I think
we had um counted that I had wehad been through like 13
hurricanes.
But my dad is my dad's veryweather smart, because again in
the eighties he didn't have theweather channel, he didn't have
YouTube.
Um, we did do some boating.
(04:42):
I did boating personally in myadult life, so that it was very
different.
So we had navigation.
I didn't have to read thecharts like my dad did.
My dad can look at the sky andknow exactly what the weather is
doing.
He used to listen to NOAAWeather Radio, which, if anyone
listening knows what that is,they can totally understand this
.
It's a computer generated voiceand he talks about like when he
(05:05):
talks about the weather, it'sliterally coordinates and how
the weather is moving.
So you have to create thiswhole picture.
So my dad was really reallygreat at that.
So we were.
I mean, there were some timeswhere we'd hunker down for a
storm.
We lived in Jamaica and we werethere for the worst hurricane
still on the scale in Jamaica.
We were in a house for that one, though we were just visiting.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So I feel like you guys.
It's kind of exhilarating.
Yeah, I feel like you guys werethe first unschoolers, because
I mean I just can't imagine withthis lifestyle that you were
really Like.
Your mom was like okay, let'ssit down for our book work from
8 to 12 today.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, and I mean, I remember it being structured in
a sense, you know, probably likewhen I got more towards middle
school, it was structuredbecause the curriculum we had so
it was Calvert School out ofMassachusetts or something I
don't remember Maryland, I don'tknow, but I would actually
(06:04):
Massachusetts or something.
I don't remember Maryland, Idon't know, but I would actually
write a paper or I would do atest and then we would mail it
in which is so funny to thinknow Like we'd take the boat to
the mainland, go to the postoffice I'm like geez, that would
take forever and then mail itin and then the teacher would
grade it with a red pen and thensend it back to me.
So whenever I've gotten asked alot like well, how did you
(06:25):
really know you were doing good,right?
I'm sure us homeschool parentsget that a lot Like but who's
grading it?
I mean, how do you really know?
And I'm like the curriculum isset up that way.
So we would send it in and thenI would get my reports back,
and I always love to write, Ilove to read.
So that was the setup.
But you're right, it was veryunschooled.
(06:46):
We would a typical day nowgranted, this is a long time ago
, so I'm trying to rememberexactly A typical day would be.
We just wake up and put ourbathing suits on, because we,
you know, we're on a boat, andthen we just sit down, and a lot
of it was self-taught, you know, because that's how
homeschooling really is, kind ofset up the curriculum, and I
(07:06):
remember that being even more sothan what I'm running into
homeschooling my daughter, moreself-taught.
So, yeah, we would just do.
Maybe my parents say maybe twohours maybe, but I don't know,
you know, I think parents forgetwhat it was like 30, 40 years
ago, you know.
They're like, oh yeah, we werevery rigid.
I'm like, no, you weren't, andthen we would be done, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And that is a testament to what I've heard,
something that one of my guestshad said a while back and it
always stuck with me.
They said I wish I couldremember who.
They said everything you needto know to be successful in life
, you can learn in the highschool years Everything before
that can be play, and you'll endup, if not farther ahead,
(07:51):
you'll end up.
You know just at the same,probably farther ahead.
But yes, the things that likeyou need to know to really
survive in the world.
Right, and I mean you guys weresurviving.
You knew how to fish and builda fire and you know so find food
and water.
I mean that's that's surviving.
That is up until the lastcouple of decades.
That is just how everybodysurvived for thousands and
(08:14):
thousands and thousands andthousands of years.
And uh, well, that might be anexaggeration, I don't know how
many thousands, but at least afew thousand.
You know, like it's onlyrecently that we have a grocery
store.
That because even I grew upwith like we didn't go to like a
Price Chopper or Walmart forgroceries, there was like a
(08:34):
corner store.
And I'm in upstate New York,you know I went to like a city
school but we still walkedaround the corner to get our
meats, our you know vegetables,our fruit, and we probably made
that trip every couple of days.
So it wasn't like this one boxstore that you get everything at
.
And I mean I'm 41.
So just in my lifetime, howmuch that's changed.
(08:57):
And then my mother's and mygrandmother's I mean that was
like my grandmother's was likeyou're growing food.
You know, in Poland you'regrowing what you're eating.
You're not going to a grocerystore for much.
So it is it's so funny that youknow people think the idea of
homeschooling is such a foreignconcept, but it's like what do
you really need to know in life?
You?
need to know how to find food,which you learned from fishing,
(09:17):
and how to make it, and how toget warmth and shelter.
Yeah, what a beautiful way togrow up.
It was just you and your sister.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, and my sister and I my younger sister, and I
think that you know.
So I will fast forward a littlebit and say that I was put into
public school in the middle ofseventh grade, so we can get
into that in a second.
But I want to say thecomparison I knew life skills,
like I literally knewresponsibility, and that's what
(09:46):
I.
It's so cool that I have thatand I'm able to teach my
daughter that, and I watched mysister teach her daughters that.
I let her do dangerous thingssafely and I think we talked
about this when we were on, whenyou were on, fearless
Motherhood with me.
Because I knew responsibility.
I mean I have pictures ofmyself.
Um, because I knewresponsibility, I mean I have
(10:08):
pictures of myself.
So I was five or six, have mylittle one and a half two year
old sister in a little saildinghy and I'm just sailing
around the Harbor.
And then, when she got a littlebit older, I'm going to go
ahead and give my parents creditand say maybe she was like four
and I was eight.
We would sail through theHarbor and we'd flip the dinghy
and the people in the Harborwould say, oh my gosh, those
kids over there, they justflipped the boat and my parents
were like, oh, they're fine,they do that on purpose, because
we knew my dad wanted us toknow how to flip it back over.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
You know, with the mast and the sail up.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And so we knew those responsibilities and my dad
would say you know, if somethinghappens with your sister, what
are you going to do?
Like we learned these lifeskills so quickly If the
outboard dies throw the anchor,like immediately, and those
things I just got chillsthinking of that.
Those things have transpiredinto my life and when I have
been in situations that are Idon't know, you got to think
(10:57):
quick.
I remember those and then Ithink it's beautiful too was the
bond that my family of four hadand the trust we had in each
other, because there's no timefor dad, I don't want to.
It's like did you tie up thedinghy?
Well, maybe, well, I don't know, it's not that it's yes or no.
(11:18):
That's our car.
Essentially, we're anchored outin a harbor.
Did you tie it up?
Did you tie it up properly?
There's no time for BS, it hasto be done.
And so there was that level oftrust between all of us and I
think that, coming back to thehomeschooling aspect of that
because we were with them fulltime, which I think ultimately
is one of the main reasons whywe're homeschooling right, so
(11:38):
that we are teaching ourchildren we got to build those
life skills and that bond as afamily.
I mean, I live on the propertywith my parents now, not because
I have to, because I want to wehave that great bond of trust
and very tribal.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
So I think that's one of my biggest takeaways.
So why did they put you inpublic school in seventh grade?
Oh, drum roll.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Okay.
So my mom this is what I think.
I've thought about this a lotsince you and I talked.
What I think is my mom had amedical scare.
We were living in the islands.
She had a really bad asthmaattack and had to be life
flighted to Florida and that waspretty scary for all of us,
obviously, and back then I meanthe Bahamas if any of the
(12:23):
listeners have been there, youknow it's out there, it's pretty
far out.
Well, where we lived was reallyfar out in the islands and
again, it was in the 80s.
So that was scary.
And when she came back from thatshe had a sense of like
insecurity.
Like she has seen a holisticdoctor and she was doing well,
but she had a sense ofinsecurity.
And so my dad was like you know, we've lived this nomadic life
(12:45):
for this long.
I was about to turn 13.
Sorry, I was about to turn 13.
And my dad was like, okay,maybe I should like, let her
have my wife have that whitepicket fence thing if that's
what she wants to try.
And my dad was like I don'tknow, I have two girls, you know
, they're going to be teenagersand it's pretty sheltered out
(13:08):
there, sheltered in a sense oflike dad wanted us to have the
best of both worlds.
Like he wanted us to know whata mall was like, because that
was big in our time in theeighties and early nineties.
He wanted us to know currentmusic so we could be quote,
unquote, cool, you know, andkind of the know the normal
things like go know what aWalmart is or how to how to
really live in differentsocietal situations.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Hey everyone, this is Cheryl.
I want to thank you so much forchecking out the podcast.
I'm going to keep this shortand sweet because I know your
time is valuable.
I want to ask you a seriousquestion Do your kids know what
to do to actually save theirlife in an emergency?
The most important thing we cantalk to our kids about is
knowing their first and lastname, knowing mom and dad's
first and last name, mom's phonenumber, dad's phone number,
(13:52):
their address, what to do ifthey get lost, what to do if
someone who's watching them hasa heart attack, a stroke, an
accident where they fall andyour child needs to get help.
We live in a world where there'sno landline phones anymore,
basically, and cell phones lock.
Does your child know how tocall 911 from a locked cell
(14:13):
phone?
It is absolutely possible, andmy book demonstrates how to do
that, whether it's an Android,whether it's an iPhone and, most
importantly, it starts theconversation, because I was
going through homeschoolingcurriculum with my kids,
realizing that, gee, maybe theyskim over this stuff, but they
don't get into depth, so mychild's not going to remember
this should an accident occur,right?
(14:34):
I asked a couple of teacherswhat they do in school and they
said they really don't doanything either other than talk
about what to do in a fireduring the month of October fire
prevention month.
So I wrote a book because thisis near and dear to my heart.
I have had multiple friends thathave lost kids in tragedies and
I don't want to see it happenagain if it doesn't have to.
(14:54):
We were at the fair over thesummer and the first thing I
said to my son when we walkedthrough that gate was what's my
first and last name, what isyour first and last name and
what is my phone number?
And if you get lost, what areyou going to do?
You can get my book on amazonand I will put the link in my
show's description again.
It's called let's talkemergencies and I really hope
(15:14):
you'll check it out becausethere's just no need to be
scared when you can chooseprepared so that was the initial
um.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So we moved to north florida because my parents were
familiar with that area.
And then here we are, it's 1992.
We're on five acres in thewoods and we have home videos of
us in our bathing suits withour ducks in the yard, because
we literally are like we live inour bathing suits, like where's
the water?
And um and my I was like I wantto be normal, I want to go to
(15:49):
school, because we had seen umlike 90210 or something like
that.
And so my dad was like, oh,he's very anti the system, you
know.
But again he's like what areyou gonna do if you're gonna
homes?
And I think this is a goodtakeaway.
So listen up, mamas and daddies.
If you you're going tohomeschool, you have to be doing
something with your children.
There has to be something elsegoing on.
I think it would be difficultI'm not saying don't do it, but
(16:11):
I think it would be difficult tohomeschool in a neighborhood
where your children are the onlyhomeschooled children and the
only things for them to dooutside of school for those two
hours is video games or watchingTV.
You know there has to be, youhave to have a garden, you have
to have hobbies and things forthem to do.
So back then we didn't havehomeschool co ops, you know, we
(16:32):
didn't have things for us to getinvolved in.
So the kids in our area werevery rural area.
They were all going to school.
So my dad made the difficultdecision.
He put us in public school andI remember it was the middle of
seventh grade.
Now my sister had never beenaway from me.
Oh, I have to.
I have to digress.
I went to school for a secondin third grade.
I forgot about that, but I'llcontinue.
(16:53):
So my sister had never beenaway from me.
I'm put into public school.
My sister goes to theelementary school.
I go to the middle school.
I'm crying my eyes out.
My little sister's like this iscool, let's go check this out.
I'm like you're taking mysister away, you're separating
us.
I don't want to be normalanymore, but I did it.
And then my experience in theclassroom was difficult because
(17:20):
I went from and I don't evenknow if it was just the
one-on-one, but it was thecurriculum change.
The textbooks are different andI remember looking through and
like I don't know how accuratethis is, but this is just a
memory.
Like the answers were in theback of the book.
You know, like the glossary orwhatever, like for the vocab
words or something were in theback of the book.
And I was kind of lookingaround like did you guys know?
The answers were in the back ofthe book.
(17:40):
Like in my book you had to readthe whole chapter to get the
answers to the question, youknow.
So I'm like well, that's weird.
And so I'm going to go backreal quick because I forgot.
I had a little stint of thirdgrade.
We were in the Keys and my momhad a moment where she was like
maybe she needs to be socializedand go to school and it's weird
(18:03):
to say this now because myparents are so not like this
anymore.
But I went to third grade forlike three weeks and it was
awful and I cried every day.
But my mom said you said Ireally want to do this.
So I tried to push you and say,honey, you said you want to do
this, so I need you to give it agood chance.
And I remember crying and theteacher said Shelby, come write
(18:24):
your name on the board, becauseyou're just not listening, or
something like that.
And I was like I don't know howto write my name on the board.
What does that mean?
And that's it.
That's all I remember from thewhole experience, but it was
awful and yeah, so that's alittle tidbit of the why we did
that.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Yeah, that's got to be a big change.
I mean, the curriculum is didthat?
Yeah, that's gotta be a bigchange.
I mean the the curriculum isone thing.
How did it work out with theother students, like, were you
able to easily make friends?
Did you eventually?
Did you finish out 12th gradein school?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I did so, um, I I like I said, I've thought about
this a lot and I there's a lotof emotion attached to this.
So when I was thinking aboutdoing this, I kind of wanted to
to touch on that a little bit,versus just the curriculum side
of it, because I came from acountry and I think I think this
might be a little bit valid Icame from a country, primarily a
(19:18):
black country, and then I'm putinto North Central Florida,
somewhat racist back then.
That was very confusing to me,you know, because we are in the
South.
So that was very confusing.
So here I am in school and it'slike all of everyone that had
started sports already playedsports.
So I wasn't going to be anathlete because I knew how to
spearfish and sail and makefires and feed myself, right,
(19:39):
but I don't know how to playsoftball.
And then the racism wasconfusing to me because I and
I'm going to say this in a verychildlike way, okay, when I I
was like I don't fit in here.
And then I was like, ooh, blackpeople, you're my family, right
, and so I gravitated and I waslike they became my closer
(20:02):
friends.
However, in this area thatwasn't very accepted.
So then I was confused and thenI was confused by this racism
that I was encountering.
So that was difficult withmaking friends.
I remember feeling embarrassedabout my story because it wasn't
normal, so I didn't really tellpeople like where I came from.
Also crazy, because it's sofreaking cool what I experienced
(20:26):
as a child.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
What is your heritage ?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean I just grew up in the Bahamas Like I'm
American, but I just mean comingfrom living on a boat.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
What is your mom and dad, though?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
They're white Americans.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, so you were encountering racism.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Living that alternative lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay, so you were encountering racism against you
or From the other side.
Really From the way, because Imean, you definitely have a
darker complexion.
But yeah, I wouldn't.
If you were in my school Iwouldn't even know, like no,
there's a black person, there'sa white person.
(21:02):
So I was just wondering how,like, who was being the racist
and why would they even thinkthat?
Because you would think inFlorida that it's actually a lot
of people coming up from likeCuba and you know, I'm in a
different part of Florida though, so I'm in North Florida.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
So that's basically South Georgia.
So the reason I bring up theracism was because that was a
thing that is taught and to meit's an experience that is
taught and when you go throughthe public school system or
you're around other children alot like my daughters you know
around a lot of different people.
Yeah, I was getting.
(21:42):
When I say racism, I mean fromlike like all the black kids
hung out together and all thewhite kids hung out together,
and that's just how it was.
And so when.
I became friends with someonebecause she sat next to me and I
really liked her and we becamefriends.
Then it was like, well, likemaybe her mom didn't really love
that she was hanging out with awhite girl and I would go over
to her house and that was alittle bit weird.
(22:02):
Or like you can't really have ablack boyfriend because that's
not really accepted here, sothings like that.
And so then that added on to,now I'm in a class of 30 kids.
I'm not sure who the hell I'msupposed to be friends with,
because I don't really know howto like.
I was always very social, butI'm like I don't know in this
situation.
So the social aspect wasdifficult, um, along with
(22:25):
learning the curriculum.
And um, I want to say too thatwhen I like, okay, so I'm
learning.
Something like math was alwaysdifficult for me in public
school.
So you know, you're going along.
And then I'm like oh, I, Ididn't catch.
Like A plus B equals C, right,oh, I didn't catch what B was.
(22:45):
And then the bell rings andthey're like okay, shelby, we'll
touch on that Monday.
Well, now, it's Monday.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, you're not from that.
You're like wait, if I'm inthis and learning, I need to
know why.
Wouldn't you just tell me now?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Right, and so I couldn't.
That made me I fell behind.
I fell behind in that sense,and so then that just kind of
continued along and I also got alittle bit defeated where I was
just like nobody's freakinglistening to me, nobody cares,
you know, and so then I just washaving fun.
I was like, wow, look at allthese friends, and then I'm
making friends.
But kind of knowing where tofit in also kind of always was
(23:22):
there, I think a lot because ofjust when you I think maybe
people that travel and moveschools have the same experience
, though I mean, if you movefrom California to New York,
you've got to reinventeverything.
So that was just my experience.
But as far as the schoolinggoes, that was difficult for me
because I could have done better.
(23:42):
I know how to learn.
I had a great foundation.
The system failed me in thatsense because I never learned
what B was.
So how do I learn what A plus Bequals C?
So then ninth grade, I go intohigh school and I'm put into
like basic pre-algebra orsomething like that, and I was
(24:02):
like, okay, kind of getting it.
But you know, with math, if younever learned what B was, now
you can't figure out the problem, and so I just continued to
struggle, continued to struggleand just coasted by.
And yeah, I mean I don't knowwhy it's embarrassing to be like
I didn't do very good in highschool.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
You said that when you were living on the boat and
homeschooling, you loved readingDid you carry that love of
reading into the school systemwith you.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I did and I actually loved.
I love to read and I love towrite, like in high school I was
thinking about this again theother day I had a few like
pieces of poetry published inthese major like coffee table
books, so funny.
I was like it was $50 at thetime and I think, oh God, I wish
I would have spent the $50 tobuy the book so I could have it.
But like I would write thingsand send it off.
(24:52):
But at the time $50 was like oh, that's like too much for a
book.
But yeah, I did, I carried thatall the way through and I love
to write.
I mean, I had just havenotebooks upon notebooks upon
notebooks of my writing.
It was just the math and it wasjust a matter of I just wasn't
that interested and I wasn'tgetting that feedback, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, because it's not like they say to you in
school okay, well, when the bellrings and I say we'll touch on
it tomorrow, who's going tobring it up tomorrow?
Is it Shelby's job as thestudent to come in and say, okay
, can I take this time now, awayfrom the other 29 kids here so
that you can explain it to me?
Or is it the teacher'sresponsibility to say, like,
let's meet up after school?
(25:31):
It's like we never have theseconversations in the beginning
of the school year to say, like,how this is going to go.
And it's the same thing with.
You know, I always.
That's kind of why I wrote mybook.
You know let's Talk EmergenciesCause it's like nobody I wrote
my book.
You know let's Talk Emergenciesbecause it's like nobody is
having that conversation in thebeginning of the school year of
whether it's kindergarten first,second, third, of like now what
are the parents teaching thekids and what are the teachers
(25:52):
teaching the kids, and everyonethinks the other one's doing it
Right.
You know, teachers are like I'mnot teaching your kid, your
phone number, your first andlast name, their first and last
name.
That's your job.
You're the parent and theparents are like we're so busy
we send them all day to school.
We don't really think about theother stuff that we have to
cover, so, yeah, that carries onthrough the high school where,
when you're homeschooling, it'slike well, I know I'm
(26:13):
responsible for it all.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So let's get her done Exactly and knowing where your
child is, you know, like wherethey can not excel, but where
they can go a little further,where you can push them, where
the other side is like, well,you know, like my daughter's,
she's five and she's doingkindergarten curriculum with the
Good and the Beautiful, which Iabsolutely love.
I love it.
It's so simple and it's justlike you open the book and you
(26:37):
do the lesson.
It's right there.
So when we started she wasn'treally grasping the language
arts.
It was right before she turnedfive.
She wasn't really grasping.
I'm like, well, I don't, it'sfine, Like I don't, you don't
need, I'm not going to push you.
And then math, she loved it.
And so we just were going andgoing, and going and going, and
then I introduced the languagearts again and it was right, at
the right time, because then shewas picking up on it.
(26:59):
But I read to her.
I mean, we read chapter booksevery night, every time she's on
the potty.
That's a new thing that she'salways wanted.
Come read me a story.
I know I say it like thatbecause I'm like I could do the
dishes while you go potty andthen we could reconvene.
And she's like, no, I need astory.
I'm like okay, so I sit on thefloor.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Hilarious.
I love it.
Okay, so you graduated, andwhat made you decide?
Did you go on to college ortake a different path?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I did not go to college.
Well, I went to the PaulMitchell Hair Academy, so I will
call that college, because itcosts a lot of money and it's
very prestigious school, so Iguess that would be a trade
school.
So after school I was in therestaurant business.
I bartended, I served for along time, managed a few
restaurants and then, when I wasabout 25, I decided to go into
(27:48):
the hair business.
I've always liked to be veryindependent, have control of my
own schedule, and that was anamazing career.
Further on, I ended up in theyachting industry.
I had my own boat, I went backto the islands on my own boat
and then I got into the yachtingindustry and I was a chef on
yachts, first mate, and so thatwas all really cool.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Transition into you don't look old enough to have
all these lives.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I needed that today, Cheryl, because I just turned 44
.
I needed that.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Really, I know I'm 41 .
I hear you Everyone's like, Ilike it's great.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
But it's also like every day waking up like you're
hung over and you never drink.
That's what 40 is, I know.
And then the perimenopausal,that's a whole nother thing.
Oh my gosh, I'm just like, oh,this is cool.
I've never had PMS before, butthis is a new experience.
Um, I wanted to mention too thatmy sister, my younger sister,
she did, I think, third througheighth grade in public school
and she met her lifelong bestfriend, um, in fifth grade and
(28:50):
they just stuck together likeglue and still are till this day
.
And so after eighth grade theyboth were like I want to do
homeschool, I don't want to goto high school.
Shelby didn't have a greatexperience, um, so her parents
and my parents allowed them, orgave them the opportunity to do
homeschool for high school.
It was cool because they werewith each other, so they would
(29:12):
do their school in the morningand they did American homeschool
for high school.
I don't even know if that'sstill around, but they did that.
And then they both were donewith high school by 16 and they
went off to trade school, mysister almost 16, 17.
My sister went into EMT school,which she ended up not doing.
She sailed off into the sunset,met her husband, had children,
yeah, so she did not continuewith that.
(29:34):
But um, and then our friend,she became a hairstylist and
still, I mean, she's a stay athome mom now, but she did hair
up until you know.
So she already had a fullybooked client list by the time
she was, before she was 19,because she had been doing
school.
You know, she went to schooland everything.
So that was a great example too.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, and I love that idea.
That's like, okay, do we have,you know, two kids from
different families?
Well, it's like trade off onhow we do things.
Oh, they have that bonding andthe life experiences you know to
figure out what they want to doas a career.
And you both went back tosailing, which is that must have
made your parents so happy.
Oh, my gosh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
In 2015, my sister and her husband had bought a new
boat.
My dad had just finishedbuilding his 63 foot trimaran
and he had just turned 60.
Turned 60.
And I was living in St Pete.
I had a salon, I was verysuccessful and I had built up my
clientele list and I was lovingit, and my partner at the time.
I said do you?
want to go get a boat and gocruising with my parents and my
(30:36):
sister Because they're going.
They're going to go to theislands and we're just going to
sit here and go day to day work.
When I put my mind to something, we can do it so fast forward.
About a year later we bought a43-foot trawler and I hopped up
there at the helm and I was likeyou throw the lines, I'm gonna
figure out how to run this baby.
And I only hit the dock once.
The whole time I had the boatand it was very little nudge.
(30:57):
So I ran the boat and that was.
We went cruising, so my parentson their boat, and then we
would raft up next to each other, so they had both their babies
on either side, which was great.
My dad got diagnosed withleukemia about three years after
that.
He's still alive and well, butI'm so glad we did that because
he was able to bring his girlsback to that environment that he
(31:19):
started us in.
So that was cool yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, and you wonder, like you're living this life of
you know you're not really inthe system and you know I'm sure
he's eating healthy, how do youget leukemia?
Like you know, I, I, I get itwith the people that are like
taking in these processed foodsevery day and you know all the
shots that they're giving us andradiation and everything else
fluoride in the water but herehe's not like really living that
(31:45):
lifestyle.
You wonder.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Well, I'm going to tell you, because I'm pretty
much an open book and he's notgoing to listen to this.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
You guys know I am a big fan of the Tuttle Twins.
I had Connor Boyack, the writerof these books, on episode 24.
I reached out to his companyasking to let me be an affiliate
because I strongly believe intheir books and their message.
In the H5 through 11 bookseries, which I read to my son
all the time I mean, he actuallyasks us to read these books
with him.
Book five, road to Serfdom,talks about what happens to a
(32:16):
local town with local businesseswhen corporations start moving
in.
Book six, the Golden Rule, talksall about Ethan and Emily's
experience at summer campthrough a series of cheating and
manipulation on certain racesthat they're required to
complete.
It talks about how the goldenrule of treating others how we
want to be treated ourselves ishow we all should be conducting
(32:38):
our lives.
Education Vacation talks aboutJohn Taylor Gatto and the
creation of the school systemand what it was actually
intended to do, which you get tolearn about by following Ethan
and Emily on a trip to Europe.
And book 11, the Messed UpMarket, takes you through the
journey of kids trying to createsmall businesses as they learn
all the laws and rules thatgovernment has put in place to
(33:01):
actually make it very difficultfor them.
You learn all about interestsavings versus borrowing, low
interest rates versus highinterest rates and supply and
demand, and these are just someof the books in that series.
Use the link in my show'sdescription or at the
homeschoolhowtocom under thelistener discounts page.
I also want to let you knowabout some other books that the
Tuttle Twins have out America'sHistory, volume 1 and 2, which
(33:25):
teaches all about the inspiringideas of America's founding
without the bias and hiddenagendas that's found in other
history books for kids and mostlikely in the schools.
There's also books on how toidentify fallacies, modern day
villains all stuff that we wantto be talking to our kids about.
Whether you homeschool or not,these books bring up important
(33:45):
discussions that we should behaving with our children.
Use the link in my show'sdescription or, like I said, at
thehomeschoolhowtocom underlistener discounts.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
He did not eat healthy.
He's one that's like sees theday.
So here we are.
Um, he was never a heavydrinker, never a heavy anything,
but he was always like a likehe'd have a cigarette and he'd
have, you know, he'd just smoke,smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke till
they were gone.
He had he ate whatever hewanted.
(34:17):
Um, we ate.
I think that a lot of it was alot of processed food, because
when you travel like that like Iran into this when I stocked my
boat when you travel like that,you have to think of shelf
stable things.
So they were just buying likecans of soups and things.
And I remember sitting on hisboat one time going oh my gosh,
dad, have you looked at theingredients in this and did it.
And he's like no baby, you justbless the food, which I agree
(34:39):
with.
But also I'm like but there area lot of like carcinogens in
here.
He also ate about 125 tubs ofice cream while he was building
his last boat.
I love the man dearly and he'staught me all the life lessons,
but I will not say that he hasbeen an epitome of hell, though.
He's had one hell of a life,though.
I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I bet.
So, you have your daughter.
What made you decide tohomeschool her?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Um, it was never even a question, never even crossed
my mind.
Um, I the thought.
I think the first thing is thethought of dropping her off
somewhere to let someone elseI'm trying to say this very
wisely, like my parents said tome you know, if you how do they
say it?
Whatever you don't teach yourchildren, someone else is going
(35:27):
to, and so fill them up withwhat you want them to be filled
up with.
So I just knew, from the momentI just ever thought about
having kids, the moment I gotpregnant, I was like I am
absolutely homeschooling her andmy sister has a daughter who's
three years older.
So she's a little bit like youknow.
She picked out the firstcurriculum that we used and it's
it's kind of a normal thing,and my parents are very much
(35:47):
against the school system nowand the schools are, you know,
even worse than they were backthen.
Um, it wasn't much of aquestion and I knew that I could
.
I knew that I could educate her.
Well, I know that I can, andwatching her learn and doing
things like and since thispodcast is parents listening
going, should I do this?
(36:08):
I just want to give an exampleof, for, for one, we do school,
maybe two times a week.
I mean, she's doingkindergarten, but maybe and I
learned that I felt moreencouraged about that after
talking to you on FearlessMotherhood, because you shared
you know, like how often do wecrack open a book?
But like the other morning I'msitting outside having coffee
(36:30):
doing like some journaling stufffor work and she's over there
with a magnifying glass lookingat caterpillars Well, this is
interesting.
Well, this is interesting.
And she was saying interesting,so cute.
I don't remember how she saidit.
And then she found like fivedifferent types of caterpillars,
got a Tupperware, put all thefood for them in there, put a
screen over the top, I mean,built this whole habitat for
(36:52):
them.
She was measuring them with herlittle measuring tape.
So I was like check, school'sdone for the day.
So that's a lot of what we do.
And then, of course, like anyother mom, I have these moments
where I think, oh, my God,should we be further along in
this book?
Should I be doing this more?
And then we sit down and I'mlike okay, sound these words out
and see if you can read it.
I'm like, okay, so this is avowel.
(37:13):
And she's like I know A-E-I-O-Uand sometimes Y and I was like
where the hell did you get thatfrom?
And then she's like the readingis just coming along super fast
and we're literally on like thefourth lesson in the
kindergarten.
You know language arts.
We do so many things or we'redriving in the car and I'm
talking to her about time.
I think I also learned thatfrom you.
I ask her math problems all thetime.
(37:37):
Last night at bedtime I'm likewhat's 40 plus 10?
She's like I don't know.
And I was like, okay, well, putup your fingers.
And then she just counted andthen I said what's 40 plus five?
And she goes 45.
And then we just kept runningthrough it and I'm like we're
getting ready for bed.
So we're doing that all of thetime.
I'm pushing her to spell words,I'm pushing her to use her
imagination, and that's actuallyrelevant in her world, so it
(38:02):
makes so much more sense to her.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
You know why she would have to know that.
Yeah, my son wanted to buysomething off of Amazon today,
so I was like, okay, well, let'swrite down the amount that it
is.
Now I want to show you how wecalculate tax, where I could
have just gone to the checkoutscreen and showed them.
But I was like, get out yourcalculator, we're going to write
this in.
And you know we're 8%.
So I don't know if that's howit works on Amazon, but it was a
(38:26):
good way to show them, like,this is how much, how we would
calculate tax.
Now we got to add these two upand you know he was taking the
money out of his piggy bank, sohe was minusing it from his
little total and yeah, it's likeso all that takes 20 minutes.
But that's a math lesson.
Just because it didn't go inexact order.
It was relevant to his life forwhat he wanted to do at that
(38:47):
time, so that's why it wasimportant Real life experiences.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
The other night on the other day for my birthday,
my eight-year-old niece was likehow old, are you?
And it was great because my mom,my dad, my sister are there.
Everyone paused, no oneanswered the question.
And I said, or my sister said,well, she was born in 1981.
And so my niece is just lookingat her, like okay.
And so she grabs a piece ofpaper and says figure it out.
And I don't know what she knows, I think she's in third grade.
(39:13):
So we're like, okay, this isthe year 2025, you know, do the
subtraction.
And she's carrying.
And I look at my sister and Igo, she knows how to do that.
Is that how you do that?
And I was like this is reallyawesome.
And so she goes oh, you're 44.
And I was so impressed but,like everyone in our environment
were like, give her a secondJust see if she knows how to do
(39:34):
it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
That's so important, right?
Not just quickly answering.
I remember my sister wouldalways answer like if I'd ask
her kids something, she'd answerfor them.
I'm like, let them speak, it'sgood for them.
And they're all very quiet kidsnow, so my kid's not quiet at
all, so there's a trade-off tolike if this is good or not, but
I do let them answer questionswhen adults ask them things.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
And it's the.
The answers can be soentertaining.
We're driving along the otherday and Selah says to me oh, I
just saw one of those Um, whatare they called?
And I was like, well, what,like, tell me about it, what do
you mean?
She goes.
Oh, she said I'm just going tosay it like it is, she's five,
I'm just going to say it like itis.
I said, okay, she goes, youknow dead people?
And I said, oh, a cemetery.
(40:19):
Yeah, yeah, that's what I wasgoing to say.
So, anyways, I just saw one ofthose and I was like, oh, my God
, that was so cute.
So I'm just going to say itlike it is.
But I didn't, I didn't startcoming up with a thousand
suggestions, I just let herthink.
And it's so cool when you dothat, because then you get these
funny things that come out oftheir mouth.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, I think that's a very good takeaway too, to
like give them that moment tolet them process it and say what
they is on their mind, causethen a question will
automatically come out of thattoo, and that's so cool.
Now the question I get a lot oftimes.
Well, two different questions.
So you're a single mom and youhave an only child that you're
homeschooling.
So first question people alwaysask me like or we'll say, oh, I
(41:00):
would homeschool, but I can't.
I'm a single mom, I have towork.
So how do you make that work?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Well, good question.
Um, back to the, we only do two, two days of school, maybe
every week.
Um, I'm I'm really in afortunate position because I
have my sister and my best, ourbest friend, right down the road
.
Um, so there are times when sofor my work, I'm a holistic life
coach.
Um, I also am a hairstylist, soI do have some clients that
(41:26):
come to my house.
So both of those things arekind of fluid with.
You know, if I need to cancel,I need to reschedule.
So I've created my income, um,to my not my income my job to be
flexible so that I can do that.
So there are times when she'lljust go to my sister's house
when I have to work.
But as far as homeschooling,yeah, we just it's.
(41:47):
You asked me this before andlike the difference of just with
one child it is, I would say,maybe easier because it's just I
can stick to what she's into.
Yeah, I don't know.
Does that answer your question?
Speaker 1 (42:02):
And you're not obviously too worried about the
socialization aspect.
There's a lot more.
Well, first of all, because ofhow you grew up, you know how to
converse with people.
You had your sister and you hadbooks.
There was always adventure.
It's not like you were likelocked in a basement.
I think that's what they thinkhomeschoolers are, you know.
And now there's just so manymore things.
(42:25):
Whether you want to do a co-opor want to do a play group or
want to do you know, there's somany places to meet
homeschoolers.
So yeah, and obviously withyour sister right nearby
homeschooling it.
It's like there's just so manyopportunities now it's really
not a concern.
I take it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Well, no, and as far as the socialization, so as when
I was growing up, on the boat,we hung out, we were very social
.
I mean, my dad is a musician sohe's always playing guitar.
I mean I spent countless hoursin tiki bars on the beach at,
you know, around bonfires.
I mean there were people comingand going, other kids on
sailboats.
(43:01):
So we and we lived in Jamaicafor a little stint too, so I had
a lot of, you know, Jamaicaninfluence and a lot of friends
there.
So there was definitely not alack of socialization, but we
hung out with a lot of adults.
And so the way I look at thatis I'm not raising a child like
I'm raising an adult.
So I want to, you know, exposeher to a lot of different people
(43:25):
and so she can converse with anadult very easily.
And my parents said that wewere like that too, Like people
would come to the Bahamas and Iwould just we we'd take them in
our boat and say, oh, this isthe kind of fish we catch here,
this is this island, which iscool that later in my life I
became, I worked on charters onyachts in that same space in the
Bahamas.
(43:45):
So as we're sailing down theislands.
I'm giving the tour of like, oh, this is the island I grew up
on and this is where you getthis.
That was really cool, but a lotof socializing.
And then, yes, we have, mysister has two daughters and
then our best friend has twodaughters, so there's five girls
.
I mean, she is barely an onlychild.
She has two little onesfollowing after her, stealing
(44:07):
her, things, picking.
We have ages eight, all the waydown to two.
So she's very much barely anonly child.
She has lots of and lots ofadults.
Much barely an only child.
She has lots of and lots ofadults.
She just spent two hours withmy mom and her friend at my
mom's house because she justwanted to hang out with them.
So she didn't even want to hangout with me, she was hanging
out with the adults, or theolder adults.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
So, all right, what would be your parting like words
of advice or encouragement tothe parents that want to
homeschool?
But it's a scary step.
They might think they have toquit their job.
They might think that theirkids are just going to be weird.
What would you say, or whatsort of words of advice do you
have to them?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
As far as being weird , someone said to me once so
there were no weird kids in yourpublic high school, and I was
like oh, that's a really goodone.
That's a really good point.
So I don't.
I have never met a real.
I don't think I've ever met aweird quote unquote I don't even
(45:06):
know what that even means.
Right, homeschooled kid.
I mean all the kids I've metthat are teenagers and in their
early twenties that werehomeschooled, are dynamic.
They've done so much where I'mlike holy moly, this is awesome.
So I don't again back to what Isaid do something with them, get
them involved in something,because school is going to be
done quick, curriculum is goingto be done quick.
Go work on a farm, learn how togarden, get outside.
(45:29):
That's the most important.
If you're going to just putthem in front of the video games
because you have to workafterwards, then try to figure
something else out.
Also, I would say reach out toother moms in your area and
homeschool groups in your areaand someone had mentioned this
at one point, maybe on a podcastI listened to those other moms
(45:49):
are eager for you to homeschoolyour child too.
So if you reach out and say,hey, I want to pull my kid out
of school, can you help me, isthere anything?
And they would be like, yes,I'll take the kid a couple of
days, you take my kids a coupleof days or whatever.
And maybe you even said that,cheryl, I might be quoting you,
but that would be myrecommendation.
And this is blunt, but it's ascary world out there and I
(46:11):
can't imagine.
I mean, I feel like you'repretty transparent and blunt on
your podcast, but I can'timagine watching the news and
seeing a school shooting andthen getting up the next morning
going have a good day.
Bye, I just.
There's no frigging way.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
So yeah, those always like it's so backwards because
people are like, well, it neverhappens.
And then it's like, well then,why are you training them for
combat, basically like threetimes a year in school to do
these things, which the event ofthe practice I think is
traumatic enough, absolutely,the fact that mommy sends you to
(46:44):
some place where we have topractice what would happen if
you were to have a shooter comeafter you?
We don't practice this in thegrocery store, we don't practice
this at the mall, we don'tpractice this at Chuck E Cheese.
So why?
And then we just send themevery day and pay the taxes,
right, Like it's crazy, nobodyjust has to think about it.
Like why would I send my kidssomewhere where the like I'm not
(47:06):
going to send them into, youknow, the military right now,
because I don't want themgetting attacked, so why?
Why would we send them to aplace where it's?
yeah, and if it doesn't happenoften enough, where, if they
just say, oh, it never happens,the statistic is so low, then
why have these trainings for it?
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Like.
Well, you know the statisticsof vaccinating too, I mean I'm
pretty passionate about thatsubject.
I was told once, like if youwalked into a party and there
were a thousand cupcakes and oneof them had arsenic in it,
would you let your kid pick acupcake off the table?
Hell, no.
So there's your statistics.
Right, and back to the advice.
Because I know we have to wrapup.
(47:46):
I want to say just trustyourself and know that you're
going to make the rightdecisions.
And the curriculum is made forhomeschooling.
So it's different.
It's different than whatthey're getting in public school
.
So go on to the good and thebeautiful.
If your child is in that agerange, talk to some other
homeschool parents, reach outand just try it.
I mean it's, it's the absolutebest thing you can do for your
(48:08):
child.
I really believe it's.
It really is.
And and I will use this quotefrom another podcast she said
this is the inconvenient truth.
I'm going to say theinconvenient truth Is it your
child and their well-being, oryour career?
Make some changes, because I'lltell you and I know that's a
blunt statement, that's why I'musing her inconvenient truth.
(48:28):
But I live a very simple lifebecause I will not go get a nine
to five so that I can be morefinancially comfortable and send
my kid to school.
I won't.
Every month I figure out how topay for what I need to pay for,
because I'm not going to taketime away from her, and that
includes I started a cleaningbusiness and I was like I'll go
(48:49):
clean houses, that's great, Icould take her with me, or da da
, da da.
A couple of times I had tocancel because she's sick.
I'm not leaving her when she'ssick, no brainer.
So I stopped the business, eventhough it was making good money
.
It was just not.
I'm not going to do it.
So to me I think it's justpriorities.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Sorry, that's kind of blunt, but yeah, these
priorities are ingrained in usand you really have to stop and
think why, why you're doing whatyou're doing.
Why are you sending your kid toschool?
Why are you going to sit in acubicle or whatever it is all
day, and is there any other way?
We're just not.
School doesn't teach us tothink outside that box.
So it's kind of like thesepodcasts and conversations like
(49:27):
this to help urge people tothink outside that box.
And Shelby, where can peoplefind you if they want to follow
you or see what else you're upto?
Go ahead and let us know.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Thank you so Vital.
Well, you can find me onInstagram at Island Fever or
Vital Roots.
Holistic Life Coaching is mybusiness and this falls under
the umbrella of my holistic lifecoaching, because obviously
holistic is everything.
So that's everything from.
I want to homeschool my kid,but I don't know where to start.
So the first thing I would sayis go listen to the Homeschool
(49:57):
how To podcast with Cheryl, andthen let's talk and we'll talk
about curriculum and I'll helpyou.
So that's one of the things Ioffer in my holistic life
coaching course.
So, yeah, vital Roots, or justlook me up Shelby S-H-E-L-L-B-E.
That's how I'd love to help.
Thank you for having me, cheryl.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yeah, I will link all that in the show's description.
Shelby, thank you so much forjoining me today.
This has been such a funconversation, thank you.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How-To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Small tip using the link in myshow's description.
(50:37):
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation.
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region?
And should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome, and with us today Ihave Shelby from Florida.
Shelby was a homeschooledstudent herself and now
homeschools her daughter, shelby, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Thank you so much.
I'm really excited to tell thisstory.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So let's start from the beginning.
What even made your parentshomeschool you in the first
place?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So that's such an interesting question because
since you asked me months ago tocome on and talk about my story
, I've been talking to myparents about this more and my
parents did not have a greatexperience in school themselves
and they decided to go kind ofagainst the grain in their own
lives.
So they bought a sailboat.
They were like 19 and 20,probably and they bought a
(01:12):
sailboat and the story is reallycute because my dad comes and
he's like honey, look what I got.
And it was like a 21 footsailboat and it was like all
beat up and my mom's like whatthe hell is that?
And he's like, come on, we'regoing to go cruising.
And she's like what are youtalking about?
So fast forward.
They were.
They cruised on boats for 30years, 40 years, 40 years, a
(01:33):
long time.
So with that lifestyle um, I wasborn when my mom was 25 and
they just were like working ahomeschool, absolutely, because
they didn't have greatexperiences in school.
So we cruised around theBahamas my sister's four years
younger than me so we cruisedaround the islands and we did a
Calvert school homeschoolingback then and it was.
(01:56):
It was really awesome.
I loved it and I felt like Ilearned so much.
I don't want to jump to thepart of you know, the next part
where I went into public schooland the transition there, but
yeah, I was always homeschooled.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So.
So were you always living on aboat, or did they have like a
home that you'd go to sometimes?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, we were, we lived on a boat until I was 13.
Well, no, actually I correct,we had a little house on an
island in the Bahamas, but Imean that might have been.
That should have just been aboat, because it was literally,
if you can imagine, a littleBahamian island shack.
You know, it's all wide open,birds would fly through, lizards
(02:37):
were crawling on the floor.
It was very Swiss FamilyRobinson, minus the shipwreck in
the beginning, so Swiss Family.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Robinson, minus the shipwreck in the beginning.
So I mean I have so manyquestions about just like, what
do they do for money?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
If you don't mind me asking, no, of course, that is
the number one question.
It's usually how did you getfood and how did you have money?
So we and this can always be amulti-part podcast here, we can
go all through all the thingsbut we lived a very simple life.
And when you don't have, youknow this was in the 80s, so
(03:12):
things were different withboating then when you don't have
an electric bill, a cell phonebill, a cable bill, a car
payment, then you think abouthow much money you don't need.
So we would come to the FloridaKeys and my mom would bartend,
my dad would build boats.
They'd stock up the boat withfood and lots of beans and rice
(03:32):
and canned goods and dad woulddo some maintenance on the boat
and then we'd take off cruisingand back then you didn't need a
passport to be in the Bahamas.
They were pretty fluid, prettyeasy.
So we stayed there for a whilewithout coming back, like we'd
have different stints.
Then we did come back.
They would just stock up theboat again.
So we lived a very simple life.
(03:53):
We caught rainwater.
That's how we had water.
Nowadays boats have watermakers.
Back then, literally it wasjust jugs, or however.
My dad set it up and then wefished all the time spearfishing
.
My sister and I would justspend our days fishing and
making little fires on the beachand cooking our food.
It's crazy to think about whenI tell the story.
It's really amazing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I love it.
That would be my son's dream todo that.
Did you ever get caught in anystorms?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So not too bad.
I mean, by the time I moved toFlorida off of the boat I think
we had um counted that I had wehad been through like 13
hurricanes.
But my dad is my dad's veryweather smart, because again in
the eighties he didn't have theweather channel, he didn't have
YouTube.
Um, we did do some boating.
(04:42):
I did boating personally in myadult life, so that it was very
different.
So we had navigation.
I didn't have to read thecharts like my dad did.
My dad can look at the sky andknow exactly what the weather is
doing.
He used to listen to NOAAWeather Radio, which, if anyone
listening knows what that is,they can totally understand this
.
It's a computer generated voiceand he talks about like when he
(05:05):
talks about the weather, it'sliterally coordinates and how
the weather is moving.
So you have to create thiswhole picture.
So my dad was really reallygreat at that.
So we were.
I mean, there were some timeswhere we'd hunker down for a
storm.
We lived in Jamaica and we werethere for the worst hurricane
still on the scale in Jamaica.
We were in a house for that one, though we were just visiting.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
So I feel like you guys.
It's kind of exhilarating.
Yeah, I feel like you guys werethe first unschoolers, because
I mean I just can't imagine withthis lifestyle that you were
really Like.
Your mom was like okay, let'ssit down for our book work from
8 to 12 today.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, and I mean, I remember it being structured in
a sense, you know, probably likewhen I got more towards middle
school, it was structuredbecause the curriculum we had so
it was Calvert School out ofMassachusetts or something I
don't remember Maryland, I don'tknow, but I would actually
(06:04):
Massachusetts or something.
I don't remember Maryland, Idon't know, but I would actually
write a paper or I would do atest and then we would mail it
in which is so funny to thinknow Like we'd take the boat to
the mainland, go to the postoffice I'm like geez, that would
take forever and then mail itin and then the teacher would
grade it with a red pen and thensend it back to me.
So whenever I've gotten asked alot like well, how did you
(06:25):
really know you were doing good,right?
I'm sure us homeschool parentsget that a lot Like but who's
grading it?
I mean, how do you really know?
And I'm like the curriculum isset up that way.
So we would send it in and thenI would get my reports back,
and I always love to write, Ilove to read.
So that was the setup.
But you're right, it was veryunschooled.
(06:46):
We would a typical day nowgranted, this is a long time ago
, so I'm trying to rememberexactly A typical day would be.
We just wake up and put ourbathing suits on, because we,
you know, we're on a boat, andthen we just sit down, and a lot
of it was self-taught, you know, because that's how
homeschooling really is, kind ofset up the curriculum, and I
(07:06):
remember that being even more sothan what I'm running into
homeschooling my daughter, moreself-taught.
So, yeah, we would just do.
Maybe my parents say maybe twohours maybe, but I don't know,
you know, I think parents forgetwhat it was like 30, 40 years
ago, you know.
They're like, oh yeah, we werevery rigid.
I'm like, no, you weren't, andthen we would be done, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And that is a testament to what I've heard,
something that one of my guestshad said a while back and it
always stuck with me.
They said I wish I couldremember who.
They said everything you needto know to be successful in life
, you can learn in the highschool years Everything before
that can be play, and you'll endup, if not farther ahead,
(07:51):
you'll end up.
You know just at the same,probably farther ahead.
But yes, the things that likeyou need to know to really
survive in the world.
Right, and I mean you guys weresurviving.
You knew how to fish and builda fire and you know so find food
and water.
I mean that's that's surviving.
That is up until the lastcouple of decades.
That is just how everybodysurvived for thousands and
(08:14):
thousands and thousands andthousands of years.
And uh, well, that might be anexaggeration, I don't know how
many thousands, but at least afew thousand.
You know, like it's onlyrecently that we have a grocery
store.
That because even I grew upwith like we didn't go to like a
Price Chopper or Walmart forgroceries, there was like a
(08:34):
corner store.
And I'm in upstate New York,you know I went to like a city
school but we still walkedaround the corner to get our
meats, our you know vegetables,our fruit, and we probably made
that trip every couple of days.
So it wasn't like this one boxstore that you get everything at
.
And I mean I'm 41.
So just in my lifetime, howmuch that's changed.
(08:57):
And then my mother's and mygrandmother's I mean that was
like my grandmother's was likeyou're growing food.
You know, in Poland you'regrowing what you're eating.
You're not going to a grocerystore for much.
So it is it's so funny that youknow people think the idea of
homeschooling is such a foreignconcept, but it's like what do
you really need to know in life?
You?
need to know how to find food,which you learned from fishing,
(09:17):
and how to make it, and how toget warmth and shelter.
Yeah, what a beautiful way togrow up.
It was just you and your sister.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, and my sister and I my younger sister, and I
think that you know.
So I will fast forward a littlebit and say that I was put into
public school in the middle ofseventh grade, so we can get
into that in a second.
But I want to say thecomparison I knew life skills,
like I literally knewresponsibility, and that's what
(09:46):
I.
It's so cool that I have thatand I'm able to teach my
daughter that, and I watched mysister teach her daughters that.
I let her do dangerous thingssafely and I think we talked
about this when we were on, whenyou were on, fearless
Motherhood with me.
Because I knew responsibility.
I mean I have pictures ofmyself.
Um, because I knewresponsibility, I mean I have
(10:08):
pictures of myself.
So I was five or six, have mylittle one and a half two year
old sister in a little saildinghy and I'm just sailing
around the Harbor.
And then, when she got a littlebit older, I'm going to go
ahead and give my parents creditand say maybe she was like four
and I was eight.
We would sail through theHarbor and we'd flip the dinghy
and the people in the Harborwould say, oh my gosh, those
kids over there, they justflipped the boat and my parents
were like, oh, they're fine,they do that on purpose, because
we knew my dad wanted us toknow how to flip it back over.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
You know, with the mast and the sail up.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And so we knew those responsibilities and my dad
would say you know, if somethinghappens with your sister, what
are you going to do?
Like we learned these lifeskills so quickly If the
outboard dies throw the anchor,like immediately, and those
things I just got chillsthinking of that.
Those things have transpiredinto my life and when I have
been in situations that are Idon't know, you got to think
(10:57):
quick.
I remember those and then Ithink it's beautiful too was the
bond that my family of four hadand the trust we had in each
other, because there's no timefor dad, I don't want to.
It's like did you tie up thedinghy?
Well, maybe, well, I don't know, it's not that it's yes or no.
(11:18):
That's our car.
Essentially, we're anchored outin a harbor.
Did you tie it up?
Did you tie it up properly?
There's no time for BS, it hasto be done.
And so there was that level oftrust between all of us and I
think that, coming back to thehomeschooling aspect of that
because we were with them fulltime, which I think ultimately
is one of the main reasons whywe're homeschooling right, so
(11:38):
that we are teaching ourchildren we got to build those
life skills and that bond as afamily.
I mean, I live on the propertywith my parents now, not because
I have to, because I want to wehave that great bond of trust
and very tribal.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
So I think that's one of my biggest takeaways.
So why did they put you inpublic school in seventh grade?
Oh, drum roll.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Okay.
So my mom this is what I think.
I've thought about this a lotsince you and I talked.
What I think is my mom had amedical scare.
We were living in the islands.
She had a really bad asthmaattack and had to be life
flighted to Florida and that waspretty scary for all of us,
obviously, and back then I meanthe Bahamas if any of the
(12:23):
listeners have been there, youknow it's out there, it's pretty
far out.
Well, where we lived was reallyfar out in the islands and
again, it was in the 80s.
So that was scary.
And when she came back from thatshe had a sense of like
insecurity.
Like she has seen a holisticdoctor and she was doing well,
but she had a sense ofinsecurity.
And so my dad was like you know, we've lived this nomadic life
(12:45):
for this long.
I was about to turn 13.
Sorry, I was about to turn 13.
And my dad was like, okay,maybe I should like, let her
have my wife have that whitepicket fence thing if that's
what she wants to try.
And my dad was like I don'tknow, I have two girls, you know
, they're going to be teenagersand it's pretty sheltered out
(13:08):
there, sheltered in a sense oflike dad wanted us to have the
best of both worlds.
Like he wanted us to know whata mall was like, because that
was big in our time in theeighties and early nineties.
He wanted us to know currentmusic so we could be quote,
unquote, cool, you know, andkind of the know the normal
things like go know what aWalmart is or how to how to
really live in differentsocietal situations.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Hey everyone, this is Cheryl.
I want to thank you so much forchecking out the podcast.
I'm going to keep this shortand sweet because I know your
time is valuable.
I want to ask you a seriousquestion Do your kids know what
to do to actually save theirlife in an emergency?
The most important thing we cantalk to our kids about is
knowing their first and lastname, knowing mom and dad's
first and last name, mom's phonenumber, dad's phone number,
(13:52):
their address, what to do ifthey get lost, what to do if
someone who's watching them hasa heart attack, a stroke, an
accident where they fall andyour child needs to get help.
We live in a world where there'sno landline phones anymore,
basically, and cell phones lock.
Does your child know how tocall 911 from a locked cell
(14:13):
phone?
It is absolutely possible, andmy book demonstrates how to do
that, whether it's an Android,whether it's an iPhone and, most
importantly, it starts theconversation, because I was
going through homeschoolingcurriculum with my kids,
realizing that, gee, maybe theyskim over this stuff, but they
don't get into depth, so mychild's not going to remember
this should an accident occur,right?
(14:34):
I asked a couple of teacherswhat they do in school and they
said they really don't doanything either other than talk
about what to do in a fireduring the month of October fire
prevention month.
So I wrote a book because thisis near and dear to my heart.
I have had multiple friends thathave lost kids in tragedies and
I don't want to see it happenagain if it doesn't have to.
(14:54):
We were at the fair over thesummer and the first thing I
said to my son when we walkedthrough that gate was what's my
first and last name, what isyour first and last name and
what is my phone number?
And if you get lost, what areyou going to do?
You can get my book on amazonand I will put the link in my
show's description again.
It's called let's talkemergencies and I really hope
(15:14):
you'll check it out becausethere's just no need to be
scared when you can chooseprepared so that was the initial
um.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So we moved to north florida because my parents were
familiar with that area.
And then here we are, it's 1992.
We're on five acres in thewoods and we have home videos of
us in our bathing suits withour ducks in the yard, because
we literally are like we live inour bathing suits, like where's
the water?
And um and my I was like I wantto be normal, I want to go to
(15:49):
school, because we had seen umlike 90210 or something like
that.
And so my dad was like, oh,he's very anti the system, you
know.
But again he's like what areyou gonna do if you're gonna
homes?
And I think this is a goodtakeaway.
So listen up, mamas and daddies.
If you you're going tohomeschool, you have to be doing
something with your children.
There has to be something elsegoing on.
I think it would be difficultI'm not saying don't do it, but
(16:11):
I think it would be difficult tohomeschool in a neighborhood
where your children are the onlyhomeschooled children and the
only things for them to dooutside of school for those two
hours is video games or watchingTV.
You know there has to be, youhave to have a garden, you have
to have hobbies and things forthem to do.
So back then we didn't havehomeschool co ops, you know, we
(16:32):
didn't have things for us to getinvolved in.
So the kids in our area werevery rural area.
They were all going to school.
So my dad made the difficultdecision.
He put us in public school andI remember it was the middle of
seventh grade.
Now my sister had never beenaway from me.
Oh, I have to.
I have to digress.
I went to school for a secondin third grade.
I forgot about that, but I'llcontinue.
(16:53):
So my sister had never beenaway from me.
I'm put into public school.
My sister goes to theelementary school.
I go to the middle school.
I'm crying my eyes out.
My little sister's like this iscool, let's go check this out.
I'm like you're taking mysister away, you're separating
us.
I don't want to be normalanymore, but I did it.
And then my experience in theclassroom was difficult because
(17:20):
I went from and I don't evenknow if it was just the
one-on-one, but it was thecurriculum change.
The textbooks are different andI remember looking through and
like I don't know how accuratethis is, but this is just a
memory.
Like the answers were in theback of the book.
You know, like the glossary orwhatever, like for the vocab
words or something were in theback of the book.
And I was kind of lookingaround like did you guys know?
The answers were in the back ofthe book.
(17:40):
Like in my book you had to readthe whole chapter to get the
answers to the question, youknow.
So I'm like well, that's weird.
And so I'm going to go backreal quick because I forgot.
I had a little stint of thirdgrade.
We were in the Keys and my momhad a moment where she was like
maybe she needs to be socializedand go to school and it's weird
(18:03):
to say this now because myparents are so not like this
anymore.
But I went to third grade forlike three weeks and it was
awful and I cried every day.
But my mom said you said Ireally want to do this.
So I tried to push you and say,honey, you said you want to do
this, so I need you to give it agood chance.
And I remember crying and theteacher said Shelby, come write
(18:24):
your name on the board, becauseyou're just not listening, or
something like that.
And I was like I don't know howto write my name on the board.
What does that mean?
And that's it.
That's all I remember from thewhole experience, but it was
awful and yeah, so that's alittle tidbit of the why we did
that.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Yeah, that's got to be a big change.
I mean, the curriculum is didthat?
Yeah, that's gotta be a bigchange.
I mean the the curriculum isone thing.
How did it work out with theother students, like, were you
able to easily make friends?
Did you eventually?
Did you finish out 12th gradein school?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I did so, um, I I like I said, I've thought about
this a lot and I there's a lotof emotion attached to this.
So when I was thinking aboutdoing this, I kind of wanted to
to touch on that a little bit,versus just the curriculum side
of it, because I came from acountry and I think I think this
might be a little bit valid Icame from a country, primarily a
(19:18):
black country, and then I'm putinto North Central Florida,
somewhat racist back then.
That was very confusing to me,you know, because we are in the
South.
So that was very confusing.
So here I am in school and it'slike all of everyone that had
started sports already playedsports.
So I wasn't going to be anathlete because I knew how to
spearfish and sail and makefires and feed myself, right,
(19:39):
but I don't know how to playsoftball.
And then the racism wasconfusing to me because I and
I'm going to say this in a verychildlike way, okay, when I I
was like I don't fit in here.
And then I was like, ooh, blackpeople, you're my family, right
, and so I gravitated and I waslike they became my closer
(20:02):
friends.
However, in this area thatwasn't very accepted.
So then I was confused and thenI was confused by this racism
that I was encountering.
So that was difficult withmaking friends.
I remember feeling embarrassedabout my story because it wasn't
normal, so I didn't really tellpeople like where I came from.
Also crazy, because it's sofreaking cool what I experienced
(20:26):
as a child.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
What is your heritage ?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean I just grew up in the Bahamas Like I'm
American, but I just mean comingfrom living on a boat.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
What is your mom and dad, though?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
They're white Americans.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, so you were encountering racism.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Living that alternative lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Okay, so you were encountering racism against you
or From the other side.
Really From the way, because Imean, you definitely have a
darker complexion.
But yeah, I wouldn't.
If you were in my school Iwouldn't even know, like no,
there's a black person, there'sa white person.
(21:02):
So I was just wondering how,like, who was being the racist
and why would they even thinkthat?
Because you would think inFlorida that it's actually a lot
of people coming up from likeCuba and you know, I'm in a
different part of Florida though, so I'm in North Florida.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
So that's basically South Georgia.
So the reason I bring up theracism was because that was a
thing that is taught and to meit's an experience that is
taught and when you go throughthe public school system or
you're around other children alot like my daughters you know
around a lot of different people.
Yeah, I was getting.
(21:42):
When I say racism, I mean fromlike like all the black kids
hung out together and all thewhite kids hung out together,
and that's just how it was.
And so when.
I became friends with someonebecause she sat next to me and I
really liked her and we becamefriends.
Then it was like, well, likemaybe her mom didn't really love
that she was hanging out with awhite girl and I would go over
to her house and that was alittle bit weird.
(22:02):
Or like you can't really have ablack boyfriend because that's
not really accepted here, sothings like that.
And so then that added on to,now I'm in a class of 30 kids.
I'm not sure who the hell I'msupposed to be friends with,
because I don't really know howto like.
I was always very social, butI'm like I don't know in this
situation.
So the social aspect wasdifficult, um, along with
(22:25):
learning the curriculum.
And um, I want to say too thatwhen I like, okay, so I'm
learning.
Something like math was alwaysdifficult for me in public
school.
So you know, you're going along.
And then I'm like oh, I, Ididn't catch.
Like A plus B equals C, right,oh, I didn't catch what B was.
(22:45):
And then the bell rings andthey're like okay, shelby, we'll
touch on that Monday.
Well, now, it's Monday.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, you're not from that.
You're like wait, if I'm inthis and learning, I need to
know why.
Wouldn't you just tell me now?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Right, and so I couldn't.
That made me I fell behind.
I fell behind in that sense,and so then that just kind of
continued along and I also got alittle bit defeated where I was
just like nobody's freakinglistening to me, nobody cares,
you know, and so then I just washaving fun.
I was like, wow, look at allthese friends, and then I'm
making friends.
But kind of knowing where tofit in also kind of always was
(23:22):
there, I think a lot because ofjust when you I think maybe
people that travel and moveschools have the same experience
, though I mean, if you movefrom California to New York,
you've got to reinventeverything.
So that was just my experience.
But as far as the schoolinggoes, that was difficult for me
because I could have done better.
(23:42):
I know how to learn.
I had a great foundation.
The system failed me in thatsense because I never learned
what B was.
So how do I learn what A plus Bequals C?
So then ninth grade, I go intohigh school and I'm put into
like basic pre-algebra orsomething like that, and I was
(24:02):
like, okay, kind of getting it.
But you know, with math, if younever learned what B was, now
you can't figure out the problem, and so I just continued to
struggle, continued to struggleand just coasted by.
And yeah, I mean I don't knowwhy it's embarrassing to be like
I didn't do very good in highschool.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
You said that when you were living on the boat and
homeschooling, you loved readingDid you carry that love of
reading into the school systemwith you.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I did and I actually loved.
I love to read and I love towrite, like in high school I was
thinking about this again theother day I had a few like
pieces of poetry published inthese major like coffee table
books, so funny.
I was like it was $50 at thetime and I think, oh God, I wish
I would have spent the $50 tobuy the book so I could have it.
But like I would write thingsand send it off.
(24:52):
But at the time $50 was like oh, that's like too much for a
book.
But yeah, I did, I carried thatall the way through and I love
to write.
I mean, I had just havenotebooks upon notebooks upon
notebooks of my writing.
It was just the math and it wasjust a matter of I just wasn't
that interested and I wasn'tgetting that feedback, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, because it's not like they say to you in
school okay, well, when the bellrings and I say we'll touch on
it tomorrow, who's going tobring it up tomorrow?
Is it Shelby's job as thestudent to come in and say, okay
, can I take this time now, awayfrom the other 29 kids here so
that you can explain it to me?
Or is it the teacher'sresponsibility to say, like,
let's meet up after school?
(25:31):
It's like we never have theseconversations in the beginning
of the school year to say, like,how this is going to go.
And it's the same thing with.
You know, I always.
That's kind of why I wrote mybook.
You know let's Talk EmergenciesCause it's like nobody I wrote
my book.
You know let's Talk Emergenciesbecause it's like nobody is
having that conversation in thebeginning of the school year of
whether it's kindergarten first,second, third, of like now what
are the parents teaching thekids and what are the teachers
(25:52):
teaching the kids, and everyonethinks the other one's doing it
Right.
You know, teachers are like I'mnot teaching your kid, your
phone number, your first andlast name, their first and last
name.
That's your job.
You're the parent and theparents are like we're so busy
we send them all day to school.
We don't really think about theother stuff that we have to
cover, so, yeah, that carries onthrough the high school where,
when you're homeschooling, it'slike well, I know I'm
(26:13):
responsible for it all.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So let's get her done Exactly and knowing where your
child is, you know, like wherethey can not excel, but where
they can go a little further,where you can push them, where
the other side is like, well,you know, like my daughter's,
she's five and she's doingkindergarten curriculum with the
Good and the Beautiful, which Iabsolutely love.
I love it.
It's so simple and it's justlike you open the book and you
(26:37):
do the lesson.
It's right there.
So when we started she wasn'treally grasping the language
arts.
It was right before she turnedfive.
She wasn't really grasping.
I'm like, well, I don't, it'sfine, Like I don't, you don't
need, I'm not going to push you.
And then math, she loved it.
And so we just were going andgoing, and going and going, and
then I introduced the languagearts again and it was right, at
the right time, because then shewas picking up on it.
(26:59):
But I read to her.
I mean, we read chapter booksevery night, every time she's on
the potty.
That's a new thing that she'salways wanted.
Come read me a story.
I know I say it like thatbecause I'm like I could do the
dishes while you go potty andthen we could reconvene.
And she's like, no, I need astory.
I'm like okay, so I sit on thefloor.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Hilarious.
I love it.
Okay, so you graduated, andwhat made you decide?
Did you go on to college ortake a different path?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I did not go to college.
Well, I went to the PaulMitchell Hair Academy, so I will
call that college, because itcosts a lot of money and it's
very prestigious school, so Iguess that would be a trade
school.
So after school I was in therestaurant business.
I bartended, I served for along time, managed a few
restaurants and then, when I wasabout 25, I decided to go into
(27:48):
the hair business.
I've always liked to be veryindependent, have control of my
own schedule, and that was anamazing career.
Further on, I ended up in theyachting industry.
I had my own boat, I went backto the islands on my own boat
and then I got into the yachtingindustry and I was a chef on
yachts, first mate, and so thatwas all really cool.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Transition into you don't look old enough to have
all these lives.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I needed that today, Cheryl, because I just turned 44
.
I needed that.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Really, I know I'm 41 .
I hear you Everyone's like, Ilike it's great.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
But it's also like every day waking up like you're
hung over and you never drink.
That's what 40 is, I know.
And then the perimenopausal,that's a whole nother thing.
Oh my gosh, I'm just like, oh,this is cool.
I've never had PMS before, butthis is a new experience.
Um, I wanted to mention too thatmy sister, my younger sister,
she did, I think, third througheighth grade in public school
and she met her lifelong bestfriend, um, in fifth grade and
(28:50):
they just stuck together likeglue and still are till this day
.
And so after eighth grade theyboth were like I want to do
homeschool, I don't want to goto high school.
Shelby didn't have a greatexperience, um, so her parents
and my parents allowed them, orgave them the opportunity to do
homeschool for high school.
It was cool because they werewith each other, so they would
(29:12):
do their school in the morningand they did American homeschool
for high school.
I don't even know if that'sstill around, but they did that.
And then they both were donewith high school by 16 and they
went off to trade school, mysister almost 16, 17.
My sister went into EMT school,which she ended up not doing.
She sailed off into the sunset,met her husband, had children,
yeah, so she did not continuewith that.
(29:34):
But um, and then our friend,she became a hairstylist and
still, I mean, she's a stay athome mom now, but she did hair
up until you know.
So she already had a fullybooked client list by the time
she was, before she was 19,because she had been doing
school.
You know, she went to schooland everything.
So that was a great example too.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, and I love that idea.
That's like, okay, do we have,you know, two kids from
different families?
Well, it's like trade off onhow we do things.
Oh, they have that bonding andthe life experiences you know to
figure out what they want to doas a career.
And you both went back tosailing, which is that must have
made your parents so happy.
Oh, my gosh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
In 2015, my sister and her husband had bought a new
boat.
My dad had just finishedbuilding his 63 foot trimaran
and he had just turned 60.
Turned 60.
And I was living in St Pete.
I had a salon, I was verysuccessful and I had built up my
clientele list and I was lovingit, and my partner at the time.
I said do you?
want to go get a boat and gocruising with my parents and my
(30:36):
sister Because they're going.
They're going to go to theislands and we're just going to
sit here and go day to day work.
When I put my mind to something, we can do it so fast forward.
About a year later we bought a43-foot trawler and I hopped up
there at the helm and I was likeyou throw the lines, I'm gonna
figure out how to run this baby.
And I only hit the dock once.
The whole time I had the boatand it was very little nudge.
(30:57):
So I ran the boat and that was.
We went cruising, so my parentson their boat, and then we
would raft up next to each other, so they had both their babies
on either side, which was great.
My dad got diagnosed withleukemia about three years after
that.
He's still alive and well, butI'm so glad we did that because
he was able to bring his girlsback to that environment that he
(31:19):
started us in.
So that was cool yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, and you wonder, like you're living this life of
you know you're not really inthe system and you know I'm sure
he's eating healthy, how do youget leukemia?
Like you know, I, I, I get itwith the people that are like
taking in these processed foodsevery day and you know all the
shots that they're giving us andradiation and everything else
fluoride in the water but herehe's not like really living that
(31:45):
lifestyle.
You wonder.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Well, I'm going to tell you, because I'm pretty
much an open book and he's notgoing to listen to this.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
You guys know I am a big fan of the Tuttle Twins.
I had Connor Boyack, the writerof these books, on episode 24.
I reached out to his companyasking to let me be an affiliate
because I strongly believe intheir books and their message.
In the H5 through 11 bookseries, which I read to my son
all the time I mean, he actuallyasks us to read these books
with him.
Book five, road to Serfdom,talks about what happens to a
(32:16):
local town with local businesseswhen corporations start moving
in.
Book six, the Golden Rule, talksall about Ethan and Emily's
experience at summer campthrough a series of cheating and
manipulation on certain racesthat they're required to
complete.
It talks about how the goldenrule of treating others how we
want to be treated ourselves ishow we all should be conducting
(32:38):
our lives.
Education Vacation talks aboutJohn Taylor Gatto and the
creation of the school systemand what it was actually
intended to do, which you get tolearn about by following Ethan
and Emily on a trip to Europe.
And book 11, the Messed UpMarket, takes you through the
journey of kids trying to createsmall businesses as they learn
all the laws and rules thatgovernment has put in place to
(33:01):
actually make it very difficultfor them.
You learn all about interestsavings versus borrowing, low
interest rates versus highinterest rates and supply and
demand, and these are just someof the books in that series.
Use the link in my show'sdescription or at the
homeschoolhowtocom under thelistener discounts page.
I also want to let you knowabout some other books that the
Tuttle Twins have out America'sHistory, volume 1 and 2, which
(33:25):
teaches all about the inspiringideas of America's founding
without the bias and hiddenagendas that's found in other
history books for kids and mostlikely in the schools.
There's also books on how toidentify fallacies, modern day
villains all stuff that we wantto be talking to our kids about.
Whether you homeschool or not,these books bring up important
(33:45):
discussions that we should behaving with our children.
Use the link in my show'sdescription or, like I said, at
thehomeschoolhowtocom underlistener discounts.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
He did not eat healthy.
He's one that's like sees theday.
So here we are.
Um, he was never a heavydrinker, never a heavy anything,
but he was always like a likehe'd have a cigarette and he'd
have, you know, he'd just smoke,smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke till
they were gone.
He had he ate whatever hewanted.
(34:17):
Um, we ate.
I think that a lot of it was alot of processed food, because
when you travel like that like Iran into this when I stocked my
boat when you travel like that,you have to think of shelf
stable things.
So they were just buying likecans of soups and things.
And I remember sitting on hisboat one time going oh my gosh,
dad, have you looked at theingredients in this and did it.
And he's like no baby, you justbless the food, which I agree
(34:39):
with.
But also I'm like but there area lot of like carcinogens in
here.
He also ate about 125 tubs ofice cream while he was building
his last boat.
I love the man dearly and he'staught me all the life lessons,
but I will not say that he hasbeen an epitome of hell, though.
He's had one hell of a life,though.
I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I bet.
So, you have your daughter.
What made you decide tohomeschool her?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Um, it was never even a question, never even crossed
my mind.
Um, I the thought.
I think the first thing is thethought of dropping her off
somewhere to let someone elseI'm trying to say this very
wisely, like my parents said tome you know, if you how do they
say it?
Whatever you don't teach yourchildren, someone else is going
(35:27):
to, and so fill them up withwhat you want them to be filled
up with.
So I just knew, from the momentI just ever thought about
having kids, the moment I gotpregnant, I was like I am
absolutely homeschooling her andmy sister has a daughter who's
three years older.
So she's a little bit like youknow.
She picked out the firstcurriculum that we used and it's
it's kind of a normal thing,and my parents are very much
(35:47):
against the school system nowand the schools are, you know,
even worse than they were backthen.
Um, it wasn't much of aquestion and I knew that I could
.
I knew that I could educate her.
Well, I know that I can, andwatching her learn and doing
things like and since thispodcast is parents listening
going, should I do this?
(36:08):
I just want to give an exampleof, for, for one, we do school,
maybe two times a week.
I mean, she's doingkindergarten, but maybe and I
learned that I felt moreencouraged about that after
talking to you on FearlessMotherhood, because you shared
you know, like how often do wecrack open a book?
But like the other morning I'msitting outside having coffee
(36:30):
doing like some journaling stufffor work and she's over there
with a magnifying glass lookingat caterpillars Well, this is
interesting.
Well, this is interesting.
And she was saying interesting,so cute.
I don't remember how she saidit.
And then she found like fivedifferent types of caterpillars,
got a Tupperware, put all thefood for them in there, put a
screen over the top, I mean,built this whole habitat for
(36:52):
them.
She was measuring them with herlittle measuring tape.
So I was like check, school'sdone for the day.
So that's a lot of what we do.
And then, of course, like anyother mom, I have these moments
where I think, oh, my God,should we be further along in
this book?
Should I be doing this more?
And then we sit down and I'mlike okay, sound these words out
and see if you can read it.
I'm like, okay, so this is avowel.
(37:13):
And she's like I know A-E-I-O-Uand sometimes Y and I was like
where the hell did you get thatfrom?
And then she's like the readingis just coming along super fast
and we're literally on like thefourth lesson in the
kindergarten.
You know language arts.
We do so many things or we'redriving in the car and I'm
talking to her about time.
I think I also learned thatfrom you.
I ask her math problems all thetime.
(37:37):
Last night at bedtime I'm likewhat's 40 plus 10?
She's like I don't know.
And I was like, okay, well, putup your fingers.
And then she just counted andthen I said what's 40 plus five?
And she goes 45.
And then we just kept runningthrough it and I'm like we're
getting ready for bed.
So we're doing that all of thetime.
I'm pushing her to spell words,I'm pushing her to use her
imagination, and that's actuallyrelevant in her world, so it
(38:02):
makes so much more sense to her.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
You know why she would have to know that.
Yeah, my son wanted to buysomething off of Amazon today,
so I was like, okay, well, let'swrite down the amount that it
is.
Now I want to show you how wecalculate tax, where I could
have just gone to the checkoutscreen and showed them.
But I was like, get out yourcalculator, we're going to write
this in.
And you know we're 8%.
So I don't know if that's howit works on Amazon, but it was a
(38:26):
good way to show them, like,this is how much, how we would
calculate tax.
Now we got to add these two upand you know he was taking the
money out of his piggy bank, sohe was minusing it from his
little total and yeah, it's likeso all that takes 20 minutes.
But that's a math lesson.
Just because it didn't go inexact order.
It was relevant to his life forwhat he wanted to do at that
(38:47):
time, so that's why it wasimportant Real life experiences.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
The other night on the other day for my birthday,
my eight-year-old niece was likehow old, are you?
And it was great because my mom,my dad, my sister are there.
Everyone paused, no oneanswered the question.
And I said, or my sister said,well, she was born in 1981.
And so my niece is just lookingat her, like okay.
And so she grabs a piece ofpaper and says figure it out.
And I don't know what she knows, I think she's in third grade.
(39:13):
So we're like, okay, this isthe year 2025, you know, do the
subtraction.
And she's carrying.
And I look at my sister and Igo, she knows how to do that.
Is that how you do that?
And I was like this is reallyawesome.
And so she goes oh, you're 44.
And I was so impressed but,like everyone in our environment
were like, give her a secondJust see if she knows how to do
(39:34):
it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
That's so important, right?
Not just quickly answering.
I remember my sister wouldalways answer like if I'd ask
her kids something, she'd answerfor them.
I'm like, let them speak, it'sgood for them.
And they're all very quiet kidsnow, so my kid's not quiet at
all, so there's a trade-off tolike if this is good or not, but
I do let them answer questionswhen adults ask them things.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
And it's the.
The answers can be soentertaining.
We're driving along the otherday and Selah says to me oh, I
just saw one of those Um, whatare they called?
And I was like, well, what,like, tell me about it, what do
you mean?
She goes.
Oh, she said I'm just going tosay it like it is, she's five,
I'm just going to say it like itis.
I said, okay, she goes, youknow dead people?
And I said, oh, a cemetery.
(40:19):
Yeah, yeah, that's what I wasgoing to say.
So, anyways, I just saw one ofthose and I was like, oh, my God
, that was so cute.
So I'm just going to say itlike it is.
But I didn't, I didn't startcoming up with a thousand
suggestions, I just let herthink.
And it's so cool when you dothat, because then you get these
funny things that come out oftheir mouth.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, I think that's a very good takeaway too, to
like give them that moment tolet them process it and say what
they is on their mind, causethen a question will
automatically come out of thattoo, and that's so cool.
Now the question I get a lot oftimes.
Well, two different questions.
So you're a single mom and youhave an only child that you're
homeschooling.
So first question people alwaysask me like or we'll say, oh, I
(41:00):
would homeschool, but I can't.
I'm a single mom, I have towork.
So how do you make that work?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Well, good question.
Um, back to the, we only do two, two days of school, maybe
every week.
Um, I'm I'm really in afortunate position because I
have my sister and my best, ourbest friend, right down the road
.
Um, so there are times when sofor my work, I'm a holistic life
coach.
Um, I also am a hairstylist, soI do have some clients that
(41:26):
come to my house.
So both of those things arekind of fluid with.
You know, if I need to cancel,I need to reschedule.
So I've created my income, um,to my not my income my job to be
flexible so that I can do that.
So there are times when she'lljust go to my sister's house
when I have to work.
But as far as homeschooling,yeah, we just it's.
(41:47):
You asked me this before andlike the difference of just with
one child it is, I would say,maybe easier because it's just I
can stick to what she's into.
Yeah, I don't know.
Does that answer your question?
Speaker 1 (42:02):
And you're not obviously too worried about the
socialization aspect.
There's a lot more.
Well, first of all, because ofhow you grew up, you know how to
converse with people.
You had your sister and you hadbooks.
There was always adventure.
It's not like you were likelocked in a basement.
I think that's what they thinkhomeschoolers are, you know.
And now there's just so manymore things.
(42:25):
Whether you want to do a co-opor want to do a play group or
want to do you know, there's somany places to meet
homeschoolers.
So yeah, and obviously withyour sister right nearby
homeschooling it.
It's like there's just so manyopportunities now it's really
not a concern.
I take it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Well, no, and as far as the socialization, so as when
I was growing up, on the boat,we hung out, we were very social
.
I mean, my dad is a musician sohe's always playing guitar.
I mean I spent countless hoursin tiki bars on the beach at,
you know, around bonfires.
I mean there were people comingand going, other kids on
sailboats.
(43:01):
So we and we lived in Jamaicafor a little stint too, so I had
a lot of, you know, Jamaicaninfluence and a lot of friends
there.
So there was definitely not alack of socialization, but we
hung out with a lot of adults.
And so the way I look at thatis I'm not raising a child like
I'm raising an adult.
So I want to, you know, exposeher to a lot of different people
(43:25):
and so she can converse with anadult very easily.
And my parents said that wewere like that too, Like people
would come to the Bahamas and Iwould just we we'd take them in
our boat and say, oh, this isthe kind of fish we catch here,
this is this island, which iscool that later in my life I
became, I worked on charters onyachts in that same space in the
Bahamas.
(43:45):
So as we're sailing down theislands.
I'm giving the tour of like, oh, this is the island I grew up
on and this is where you getthis.
That was really cool, but a lotof socializing.
And then, yes, we have, mysister has two daughters and
then our best friend has twodaughters, so there's five girls
.
I mean, she is barely an onlychild.
She has two little onesfollowing after her, stealing
(44:07):
her, things, picking.
We have ages eight, all the waydown to two.
So she's very much barely anonly child.
She has lots of and lots ofadults.
Much barely an only child.
She has lots of and lots ofadults.
She just spent two hours withmy mom and her friend at my
mom's house because she justwanted to hang out with them.
So she didn't even want to hangout with me, she was hanging
out with the adults, or theolder adults.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
So, all right, what would be your parting like words
of advice or encouragement tothe parents that want to
homeschool?
But it's a scary step.
They might think they have toquit their job.
They might think that theirkids are just going to be weird.
What would you say, or whatsort of words of advice do you
have to them?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
As far as being weird , someone said to me once so
there were no weird kids in yourpublic high school, and I was
like oh, that's a really goodone.
That's a really good point.
So I don't.
I have never met a real.
I don't think I've ever met aweird quote unquote I don't even
(45:06):
know what that even means.
Right, homeschooled kid.
I mean all the kids I've metthat are teenagers and in their
early twenties that werehomeschooled, are dynamic.
They've done so much where I'mlike holy moly, this is awesome.
So I don't again back to what Isaid do something with them, get
them involved in something,because school is going to be
done quick, curriculum is goingto be done quick.
Go work on a farm, learn how togarden, get outside.
(45:29):
That's the most important.
If you're going to just putthem in front of the video games
because you have to workafterwards, then try to figure
something else out.
Also, I would say reach out toother moms in your area and
homeschool groups in your areaand someone had mentioned this
at one point, maybe on a podcastI listened to those other moms
(45:49):
are eager for you to homeschoolyour child too.
So if you reach out and say,hey, I want to pull my kid out
of school, can you help me, isthere anything?
And they would be like, yes,I'll take the kid a couple of
days, you take my kids a coupleof days or whatever.
And maybe you even said that,cheryl, I might be quoting you,
but that would be myrecommendation.
And this is blunt, but it's ascary world out there and I
(46:11):
can't imagine.
I mean, I feel like you'repretty transparent and blunt on
your podcast, but I can'timagine watching the news and
seeing a school shooting andthen getting up the next morning
going have a good day.
Bye, I just.
There's no frigging way.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
So yeah, those always like it's so backwards because
people are like, well, it neverhappens.
And then it's like, well then,why are you training them for
combat, basically like threetimes a year in school to do
these things, which the event ofthe practice I think is
traumatic enough, absolutely,the fact that mommy sends you to
(46:44):
some place where we have topractice what would happen if
you were to have a shooter comeafter you?
We don't practice this in thegrocery store, we don't practice
this at the mall, we don'tpractice this at Chuck E Cheese.
So why?
And then we just send themevery day and pay the taxes,
right, Like it's crazy, nobodyjust has to think about it.
Like why would I send my kidssomewhere where the like I'm not
(47:06):
going to send them into, youknow, the military right now,
because I don't want themgetting attacked, so why?
Why would we send them to aplace where it's?
yeah, and if it doesn't happenoften enough, where, if they
just say, oh, it never happens,the statistic is so low, then
why have these trainings for it?
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Like.
Well, you know the statisticsof vaccinating too, I mean I'm
pretty passionate about thatsubject.
I was told once, like if youwalked into a party and there
were a thousand cupcakes and oneof them had arsenic in it,
would you let your kid pick acupcake off the table?
Hell, no.
So there's your statistics.
Right, and back to the advice.
Because I know we have to wrapup.
(47:46):
I want to say just trustyourself and know that you're
going to make the rightdecisions.
And the curriculum is made forhomeschooling.
So it's different.
It's different than whatthey're getting in public school
.
So go on to the good and thebeautiful.
If your child is in that agerange, talk to some other
homeschool parents, reach outand just try it.
I mean it's, it's the absolutebest thing you can do for your
(48:08):
child.
I really believe it's.
It really is.
And and I will use this quotefrom another podcast she said
this is the inconvenient truth.
I'm going to say theinconvenient truth Is it your
child and their well-being, oryour career?
Make some changes, because I'lltell you and I know that's a
blunt statement, that's why I'musing her inconvenient truth.
(48:28):
But I live a very simple lifebecause I will not go get a nine
to five so that I can be morefinancially comfortable and send
my kid to school.
I won't.
Every month I figure out how topay for what I need to pay for,
because I'm not going to taketime away from her, and that
includes I started a cleaningbusiness and I was like I'll go
(48:49):
clean houses, that's great, Icould take her with me, or da da
, da da.
A couple of times I had tocancel because she's sick.
I'm not leaving her when she'ssick, no brainer.
So I stopped the business, eventhough it was making good money
.
It was just not.
I'm not going to do it.
So to me I think it's justpriorities.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Sorry, that's kind of blunt, but yeah, these
priorities are ingrained in usand you really have to stop and
think why, why you're doing whatyou're doing.
Why are you sending your kid toschool?
Why are you going to sit in acubicle or whatever it is all
day, and is there any other way?
We're just not.
School doesn't teach us tothink outside that box.
So it's kind of like thesepodcasts and conversations like
(49:27):
this to help urge people tothink outside that box.
And Shelby, where can peoplefind you if they want to follow
you or see what else you're upto?
Go ahead and let us know.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Thank you so Vital.
Well, you can find me onInstagram at Island Fever or
Vital Roots.
Holistic Life Coaching is mybusiness and this falls under
the umbrella of my holistic lifecoaching, because obviously
holistic is everything.
So that's everything from.
I want to homeschool my kid,but I don't know where to start.
So the first thing I would sayis go listen to the Homeschool
(49:57):
how To podcast with Cheryl, andthen let's talk and we'll talk
about curriculum and I'll helpyou.
So that's one of the things Ioffer in my holistic life
coaching course.
So, yeah, vital Roots, or justlook me up Shelby S-H-E-L-L-B-E.
That's how I'd love to help.
Thank you for having me, cheryl.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yeah, I will link all that in the show's description.
Shelby, thank you so much forjoining me today.
This has been such a funconversation, thank you.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How-To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Small tip using the link in myshow's description.
(50:37):
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation.
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