#121: Breaking Free from the System: Former Teacher's Journey to Homesteading, Homeschooling, and Home Birth

What happens when you choose to step away from mainstream expectations and reclaim your family's destiny? Mary Wainwright's journey from conventional life to intentional living offers a roadmap for those feeling trapped in industrial systems.

Mary returns to share insights from her new book "Taking Back My Life," which chronicles her radical transformation across every aspect of family living. She takes us through the stark contrast between her traumatic hospital birth and her subsequent empowering home births, revealing how this experience catalyzed her entire lifestyle shift. Rather than presenting her choices as the "right way," Mary simply illuminates alternatives many families never consider.

The conversation explores how modern society has systematically disconnected us from fundamental knowledge in just one or two generations. From growing food to understanding natural remedies, we've surrendered our self-sufficiency to systems that often prioritize profit over wellbeing. Mary shares practical steps anyone can take - starting a small garden, learning to make bone broth, or questioning medical interventions - that gradually build toward greater independence.

Perhaps most powerful is Mary's reflection on community building. She describes creating a "tribe" where families barter skills, share resources, and collectively raise children. This interdependence makes sustainable living not just possible but deeply fulfilling, addressing the isolation that drove many women away from traditional roles decades ago.

The conversation continually returns to fear as the controlling mechanism that keeps us compliant within industrial systems. By recognizing this pattern and making intentional choices about time, education, health, and community, Mary demonstrates how families can create lives aligned with their deepest values rather than external expectations. Her parting question resonates: "Are you living the life you want your children to replicate?"

Ready to reclaim aspects of your family's life? Check out Mary's book through her website marywainwright.com or leave a comment sharing which part of her journey resonates most with your own family's situation.

Mary's Book, Taking Back My Life which you can also purchase on Amazon !

What is the most important thing we can teach our kids?
HOW TO HANDLE AN EMERGENCY!
This could mean life or death in some cases!
Help a child you know navigate how to handle an emergency situation with ease:
Let's Talk, Emergencies! -and don't forget

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
how To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region,and should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these

(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome, and with us today Ihave returning guest Mary
Wainwright.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Mary, thank you for being here.
Hi Cheryl, thank you for havingme.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
So you were on episode 98, which wasn't
actually that long ago, becauseyou know it was about 20
episodes ago, which actually Iguess that is a few months Time
just flies.
You were talking about how youwere teaching refugee students.
You were an ENL teacher andthat kind of led into you

(01:01):
realizing maybe I want tohomeschool.
And I'm having you back todaybecause you recently wrote a
book and I actually read it,which is big for me because I
know, being a homeschooler,we're all supposed to be avid
readers, but I'm not the typicalhomeschooler, as I'm sure many
people getting into this worldare the same.
I listened to a lot of audiobooks, but I read your book and

(01:24):
it is so awesome.
You don't even talk about justgetting into homeschooling, but
your whole revolution that tookyou from this crazy
industrialized, unpersonallifestyle that the world has put
on us and you have reformedyour whole life for everything
from your job, childbirth,raising your kids, homeschooling

(01:47):
, what you guys eat, how youspend your days, and I think
it's in such a beautiful waythat it's not overwhelming.
It's just the steps that gotyou there.
So congratulations onpublishing your first book.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Thank you.
Yeah, it's been something I'vewanted to do for 40 years.
Now I turned 40 and I'm likeI'm doing it this year and yeah,
and it was perfect because nowyou actually have.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
you had to wait for all the pieces to be there.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Right.
I had the story to tell.
Finally, I knew what the storyI needed to share, and it's this
story.
I really feel that the story ofmy life was given to me for a
reason and it was to share it.
So, yeah, I had to push pastany fear of, you know, the
criticisms I could get forsharing the things I'm sharing

(02:35):
Because I believe that peopleneed to hear it, people need to
see how much my life hastransformed and that it could be
possible for so many otherpeople.
I just can't imagine.
Sometimes and you probably dothe same thing Sometimes I have
these days where everything'sjust so beautiful.
I'm spending the whole day withthe kids and we're in the woods

(02:56):
and we're on an adventure andwe're with our tribe, and I just
have these moments of what if Ididn't?
What if I never quit teaching?
What if I never pulled the kidsout of school?
None of this beautiful lifethat I have now would have
unfolded for me, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I think about that all the time because I never
thought I would leave agovernment job and leave a
pension and I'm someone thatdidn't even want kids.
Really in my 20s I was totallypart of that.
I spent my whole, I think,teens and 20s watching Friends
and Sex and the City and justshows that like did not portray

(03:34):
a family life or even the onesthat do.
You know I'm thinking I don'tknow, married with Children is
coming off the top of my head.
Not that I really watch thatshow that much, but that sort of
that portrayed family life asthis mundane, monotonous, like
who would want that, you know?
So I think society, I thinkthat was all done by design.

(03:56):
Now that I look back on it and Iknow what I know that was there
to put ideas in our head.
For a reason they do not wantthe world populating, and
sometimes when I go to a busystore, I'm like I can understand
why Bill Gates doesn't think weshould be populating, as bad as
that sounds.
But when people actually takehold of their life and they live

(04:17):
life in a beautiful way,there's no reason that we can't
all harmoniously live on thisearth, and especially for us
when you're actually in tunewith that, yeah, it's the best
thing ever, it's why we're here,it's why we're living this life
, not to be in a cubicle and notfor our kids to be locked away.
But your book, let's back up tothe beginning because it's not

(04:38):
just about homeschooling.
So this book I would say for myaudience, a lot of times my
audience is the people who wantto homeschool but it seems so
unrealistic to really live thatlifestyle Like they envision it
as.
Like we're all sitting around atable and you're standing at
the front saying like todaywe're going to go over the
letter C and it's so, not likethat.
So to back up to people thathaven't even had kids yet or

(05:01):
have little ones, can you talkabout like the childbirth part
and like you had an experiencefrom the hospital which is where
I had my kids?
and then you had two home birthslater and that really, like,
did it for me.
I'm not saying that if I hadanother kid now I'm 41, I'm not
having another kid, but if I did, I don't know that I would have
the home birth.
But I would definitely makedifferent choices based upon

(05:25):
reading your book.
It was just so dramaticallydifferent the births that you
experienced.
Can you talk about that alittle bit?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
For sure.
I could talk about it forever.
Second to homeschooling, myfavorite topic is home birthing.
They go hand in hand and if youhad another one I would
convince you to home birthBecause we all can do it, we all
that's.
You know, we talk.
You were talking about thethings that we've been convinced
, and one of those things is,you know, we've just been

(05:53):
convinced through movies andshows and from the stories of
other women who have gone before, who have done it in the
hospital, that they just assumethat's the way right.
We need a doctor.
And in the movies, it's sojarring for me to watch shows
and movies where you know thewoman goes into the hospital and
has that experience and assumethat's what it is.

(06:17):
But, um, yeah, so for me.
I I entered my first pregnancyafter three years of infertility
, which was another piece of thepuzzle for me.
I now believe the infertilitywas a lot because of the toxic
world we live in, you know, andI started to see it back then,

(06:37):
of course, like we're eatingfood that's sprayed with
pesticides and I ate fairly, youknow, a little organic back
then, but not nowhere near whatI am now, and not even just the
pesticides, but also the qualityof food.
We've been, you know, convincedthey're taking fat out of milk,
they're feeding people skim milkand convincing them that, you

(06:58):
know, fatty meats are bad, andso people are eating these like
nutrient deficient foods andthen believing they can get
pregnant.
And if you, you know, look intoWeston, a Price or any of those
philosophies it's like.
For thousands of years tribalpeople have been eating nutrient
rich, fatty foods, fatty milkfoods, fatty milk, and once we

(07:27):
get back to that, for a lot ofpeople I think getting pregnant
would be easier.
You know, there's, there areoutliers, obviously, that
fertility will be an issue, butit shouldn't be the problem that
it is.
Today it's too widespread to benatural, but anyways.
So I entered with that, you know, that negative association with
pregnancy, believing that I wasflawed in some way.
And so when I did finally getpregnant, within the first

(07:48):
trimester, I was told that mybaby wasn't growing, and they
didn't know why, and they had mekeep going.
So I had two ultrasounds rightat the beginning and then, after
they said he wasn't growingproperly, two week intervals of
ultrasounds throughout the wholepregnancy.
And when I look back now, thisis 11 years later.
I look back now and I neverquestioned it.

(08:11):
I never thought to myself maybehe's just small, maybe he's
just growing slower, like that'sthe piece that I want people to
think about is, like so oftenin the medical realm, we hear
these things and we don't.
We just don't even question it.
We don't do outside research onmy own and this is one of the
most painful topics for me totalk about it's one that I've

(08:33):
barely talked about, actuallyverbally.
I've written it in my book now.
But yeah, so then at 32 weeks,31 weeks maybe, they said that I
needed to go to the hospitaland have my baby induced.
It was one week of just lying,waiting for this near death

(08:55):
experience.
They are near life or deathexperience where they had to
wait for him to be big enough toinduce me and take him out, and
they had no answers.
I saw a different doctor everytime anyone came in the room.
The woman that actuallydelivered my baby was completely
disinterested.
All she did was ask me everytime she came in whether I

(09:15):
wanted an epidural, and I didn'twant one.
But when no one believes in you, your ability to do it,
naturally you eventually say yes, sure, give it to me.
And so I got an epidural.
I birthed my baby and thank God,he was born completely fine.
They had scared me and told mehe'd have trisomy 18.

(09:37):
He didn't.
He was small because theyinduced me and took him out
early.
And you know, I'll never 100%know the answer of whether he
would have could have been bornat 40 weeks or not.
But now I look back.
I know that I had a weirdplacenta with my, my most recent

(09:58):
baby, and he was just born.
Like all my babies are small.
I'm small and yeah, I look backnow and think I could have.
Maybe I could have not endured,not have forced my baby to come
out two months early and thenspend two months in a NICU.
Actually, he didn't come outtwo months early, but too early.

(10:20):
He was two pounds two ounces.
I spent two months in the NICUwith him and it was horrific.
It was a terrible start to life.
Um, he's an amazing 11 year oldhuman being now who I love so
much and I'm so glad you knowthat I have him.

(10:40):
But I and he could have beenspared that that horrible
experience, I believe, andthat's a hard thing.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, reading your experience about the NICU, I
think because and I have to behonest when you were like in the
book, like okay, this is thechapters that I'm going to talk
about my childbirth, and theywere like three separate
chapters, and I'm like, oh Lord,this is going to be grueling.
But because I just to me, likemost people in society, it's
like, okay, you just, you go inthe hospital, you have your kid

(11:07):
and you, you know, like I neverstopped to think about it.
But when you really talk aboutit, it's not.
I mean, I was crying, I'm noteven a crier.
My kids walked into the room.
They're like mom, oh my God,what is wrong?
And I was like, no, it's just,it's just Mary's book.
They're like, why is she makingyou cry?
But like I never thought aboutwhat people endure when their

(11:32):
kids are in the NICU.
And you, just you write itwithout it being this long drawn
out process.
You write it in such a waythat's like, oh my God, like you
think about the start to lifeand how you're supposed to be
having the skin to skin contactand how everything is dictated
by what the hospital is tellingyou.
You kind of can't do to takeyour own child home.
You know, it's not like you'rea drug addict, where they're

(11:53):
like we can't, this baby's notgoing to be fit to live with
these people.
You know, it's just.
They were like your baby needsto drink a certain amount of
milk and until he does this, youknow these are the standards
and it doesn't matter how wellhe's doing or whatnot, it's just
these are their standards andif your kid doesn't meet it, you
can't take your baby home.
I mean, when you think aboutthat, it's crazy.

(12:15):
Someone else is dictating, andnot even like someone that high.
This could be just like a nurseon her first day of work, like
oh, I'm sorry.
No, the paper here says thatyour baby has to do this and he
fell a little bit short, so youcan't have your baby.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
I mean it's.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
That's crazy when we think about that kind of society
that we live in, right, likewhat would happen if you just
stole your baby and went homeyou would have got arrested, the
baby would have been taken away, so, but maybe it would have
been taken away.
So I mean, I guess, when wejust really stop and think about
how things are set up and howthings used to be and how things
might be in other countries,that is I think you just

(12:52):
expressed that beautifully andthen when you get into, like
what made you decide to homebirth your other two?
Hey everyone, this is Cheryl.
I want to thank you so much forchecking out the podcast.
I'm going to keep this shortand sweet because I know your
time is valuable.
I want to thank you so much forchecking out the podcast.
I'm going to keep this shortand sweet because I know your
time is valuable.
I want to ask you a seriousquestion Do your kids know what
to do to actually save theirlife in an emergency?

(13:14):
The most important thing we cantalk to our kids about is
knowing their first and lastname, knowing mom and dad's
first and last name, mom's phonenumber, dad's phone number,
their address, what to do ifthey get lost?
What to do if someone who'swatching them has a heart attack
, a stroke, an accident wherethey fall and your child needs
to get help?
We live in a world wherethere's no landline phones

(13:36):
anymore, basically, and cellphones lock.
Does your child know how tocall 911 from a locked cell
phone?
It is absolutely possible, andmy book demonstrates how to do
that, whether it's an Android,whether it's an iPhone and, most
importantly, it starts theconversation.
Because I was going throughhomeschooling curriculum with my
kids, realizing that, gee,maybe they skim over this stuff,

(13:57):
but they don't get into depth,so my child's not going to
remember this should an accidentoccur, right?
I asked a couple of teacherswhat they do in school and they
said they really don't doanything either other than talk
about what to do in a fireduring the month of October fire
prevention month.
So I wrote a book because thisis near and dear to my heart.

(14:18):
I have had multiple friendsthat have lost kids in tragedies
and I don't want to see ithappen again if it doesn't have
to.
We were at the fair over thesummer and the first thing I
said to my son when we walkedthrough that gate was what's my
first and last name?
What is your first and lastname and what is my phone number
?
And if you get lost, what areyou going to do?
You can get my book on Amazonand I will put the link in my

(14:39):
show's description.
Again, it's called let's TalkEmergencies and I really hope
you'll check it out becausethere's just no need to be
scared when you can chooseprepared.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
You know I give a lot of credit in this book to my
husband, my current husband.
So I got a divorce after myfirst son, and then I am with
Michael, my current husband.
I give a lot of credit to him.
There are a lot of alternativeways to living that he
introduced me to, and I alsothink that my first birth was so

(15:13):
traumatic in the hospital thatI had to try something
completely different one timeafter Merrick, and I did go back
to the same nurse practitionerwho I had gone to for my first
son, for Merrick, and then I hada miscarriage with that baby

(15:33):
and I think that actually helpedme too to be like oh wait, you
know, maybe I just need tocompletely change things and so,
yeah, so that when I gotpregnant with Micah, my daughter
yeah, I was I was adamantlygoing to birth this baby at home
, and by the time I had my thirdbaby, mana, there was no I.

(15:56):
If they had told me you need togo to a hospital or birthing
center, I told Michael and Itold everyone I'm, this baby's
coming out in my house.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
And yeah, and it was sounded just in the book.
You portray it so beautifullyand I really think for anyone
that might be having more kidsdown the line, this is
definitely a book to read.
You don't have to decide tohome birth if you're not
comfortable with it.
But I think, seeing the vastdifferences between your
hospital birth and your homebirth, if you're not comfortable
with it, but I think seeing thevast differences between your
hospital birth and your homebirth, it's worth exploring and

(16:28):
just reading about, just so youknow you can decide.
No, that's not for me.
I'm cool with the diet, youknow that's totally fine.
But until we know both sides,how do you make a decision?
Right, you know?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
until you know women can do right, like if you can
hear the story or watch homebirth videos.
You can just see the power andthe beauty in it and the
ownership as a woman of birthingin this way, even if you were
to do it outside of the home,you would at least know your
ability, which I think has beenrobbed from so many of us.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
And that's a beautiful way to put it.
You're so right.
It's been robbed, and you had apart in your book that I still
think back to.
It's when you were about tohave the baby.
I forget which one, or maybe itwas both, you actually.
You said I left my body andwent to this heaven, took the

(17:25):
hand of my child and led theminto the world.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, it was.
So it was.
That was amazing.
Yeah, that was with Mana, mythird, my most recent baby, and
that's what it is.
That's what when you choose notto have the epidural, that's
what when you choose not to havethe epidural, and that's real
quick.
I remember talking to someonewho had a baby and she did it

(17:52):
the very mainstream hospitalhome birth way.
And afterwards, yeah, it was soeasy.
I went in, I got the epidural,couldn't feel anything, had the
baby and it just hearing her saythat was so sad to me.
It's not supposed to be easy,it's supposed to be the most
painful, difficult thing youexperience and that's what is so

(18:14):
transformative about it.
When I had Micah, my second,that's what was so.
It was like a psychedelicjourney, if you will, where,
like you know, michael told meafter he was like a psychedelic
journey, if you will, whereMichael told me after he watched
my body, my soul leave, myspirit just went to another

(18:34):
realm.
And you need to do that becauseit's so painful, but you want
to do that, trust me.
You want to experience that.
That's what steps you into truemotherhood and I think that's
what makes motherhood thebeautiful experience that it is.
And I think when we don't dothat, when we don't step into
motherhood properly and we do itwhere it's just so easy and

(18:58):
it's so manicured, we lose suchan important piece of motherhood
.
And I think we could have, youknow, ultimately a better
society if we step intomotherhood properly.
And yeah, so by the time I hadmy third baby with mana I
described it in the book of justthe pain was so unbearable and
I said to the midwives like whatcan I do for the pain?

(19:20):
Obviously, you know there's nodrugs or anything, even as an
option.
And the midwife, just, you know, they're all just sitting
around me like no one's doinganything, it's just me and my
body and they're just watching.
There's two midwives and myhusband and the midwife said all
you can do now is birth thisbaby, get this baby out.
And at that moment it's justlike the pain pretty much

(19:43):
stopped and I just left my bodyand I describe it as like I went
to heaven or wherever babiescome from before they enter this
realm, and I just walked backin with Mana.
And that is such a beautifulexperience, experiencing my
first home birth experience,that out-of-body experience.

(20:04):
I needed to do it again.
I wanted to have a third baby,but I did it because I was like
I need to feel that again.
It was so amazing.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Which is just crazy when you think about the worst
pain in your life.
I need to go back andexperience that again.
Um, yeah, and I had.
I mean I had one.
Both of my births were inhospitals.
One was, um, like a normalbirth, with epidural, and then

(20:38):
one was, uh, with a C-section,because they told me that the
placenta was covering the cervix, like where the baby would come
out.
So, essentially I could, itcould rupture and I could bleed
to death.
And I'm thinking, wow, it's agood thing I'm here with modern
technology and they discoveredthat.
But after reading your book andeven kind of just getting into
the more homeschooling, holisticlifestyle, I'm like, I mean,
maybe, though, when everythingexpands, like it would have

(21:01):
pulled the placenta out of theway and the baby could come out,
I mean, I don't know.
There's really you can't sitthere and go back, like you with
your first, with Merrick.
You cannot sit there and goback.
What of should, of could of?
Everything happens for a reason.
Everyone's here now healthy, wecan only move forward, but what
we can do is kind of open upother people's eyes to like,
well, maybe there's a secondopinion that you could get.

(21:22):
Maybe you could talk to amidwife and see what their
thoughts are, and they might say, yeah, no, you're going to need
a C-section.
You can't get this kid out,naturally, but because there
were babies that died back youknow, there were women that died
home.
Birthing, like it is a thing.
But until you're aware of allthe possibilities, like that's

(21:42):
when you can make your informeddecision on what is best for
your situation.
So I just love that.
That was the what I thoughtwould be a boring part were
totally moving.
I mean, even just talking aboutit now it's like choking me up.
So it's funny that we talkedabout them robbing you of this
experience and and due tosociety, because when I was

(22:05):
nursing my daughter, I wouldlike stay up and watch.
You know, I get a role on like aNetflix show and this one
happened to be called theMidwife and it's it's an
adorable show.
Like I do recommend it topeople that are just like I want
something cute and, you know,heartwarming to watch.
It's called the Midwife, butthey do set these little things
in it about because so it's backin like I think, england in the

(22:28):
50s and so midwives would go toyour house and help you birth
your baby.
And if there was a problemthey'd call the doctor and
whatnot.
And yes, some were I'm suresome of the women in the show
like died giving birth.
So maybe they were plantingthose seeds, and they definitely
planted seeds about well, thisvaccine is out and it's
wonderful, and this baby diedbecause it didn't have the

(22:51):
vaccine.
So you know, I was like at thattime I was privy to it.
So I'm like, oh, they're puttingthis in shows to kind of like,
what is it called when they, youknow, make you subconsciously
think some one way?
But in in the show yougradually see their
transformation from the midwifecoming to your house to, oh, now
they've built a hospital andthis, what a wonderful thing.

(23:14):
Now we can all go to thesehospitals.
They didn't put it in really agreat light because everything's
white white sheets, whitemattresses, white walls, and
it's not like the homeyexperience that the midwives
were having at home with thesewomen having childbirth there.
But I do think that just that'san interesting tidbit to think
about.
Everything we see on TV,everything is put there for a

(23:38):
reason, to make you think acertain way.
Nothing is there by accident,it's all by design, to make you
think something, because there'sso much funding behind all of
it.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
The things you were just talking about made me want
to bring up language too.
So you one, you were sayinglike with your, your experience,
your second birth, and thenwith you talking about the show.
You know, I, when people readmy book, like I have to, I have
to write it from a powerfulstandpoint and obviously there's

(24:10):
outliers in every situation.
Right, there's.
There's situations where youknow their medical intervention
might be needed.
But the big takeaway that Iwant people, like you said, you
know, like just questioning,asking more questions, getting
second, third, fourth opinions,um, but also just changing your
language around situations likeso often in hospitals or you

(24:35):
know you go to the doctor.
I hear people say like, oh, Ihave to do this.
The doctor said I have to dothis.
Um, I remember when I was alittle past my 40 weeks, my mom
I love my mom but she said, likewhat do the doctors let you do?
Like how long do the doctorslet you go?
And I was like, oh, no, no, thedoctors don't let me do
anything like that.

(24:55):
I choose with my body and mybaby at what point.
Like you know, I wouldn't getinduced.
But you're making choices,right, you can get opinions you
can of wouldn't get induced.
But you're making choices right.
You can get opinions.
You can, of course.
People are professionals.
They went to college for thesethings.
You can get their opinions.
But changing your languagearound things, saying that it's
your choice or you've made thedecision, really can change your

(25:18):
mindset on a lot of thesethings.
And so you were talking aboutthe show too, and how they they
transform to start going to thehospital.
At one point when I was editingthe book, I was talking about
hospitals and I wanted to say Iwas going to say the birthing
room, and then I realized theydon't even call it a birthing
room.
They call it a delivery room.

(25:38):
Right, delivery is what thedoctor is doing.
The doctor is delivering thebaby.
So they even named the roomafter the doctor that's taking
the baby out, rather than namingthe room for the woman, the
mother, who is birthing the baby.
Like it's insane.
But just notice, language is soimportant.

(25:58):
I bring that up throughout thewhole book.
I really think that people cantransform their lives with just
changing their language.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
That's so true and I'm going through that thing
right now, since I'm 41, everydoctor visit I have is have you
had a mammogram?
Have you had a mammogram?
Have you had a mammogram?
And I'm like, okay, I'm not.
I haven't done enough researchto know that I never want one.
I just know for right now.
I've done a little bit whereI'm like I don't think I need it

(26:26):
right now, based on, like, myfamily history and whatnot, like
I want to look at alternativesto it.
But it is so hard.
It's like when I went in havingthe babies and they're like,
okay, this is their wellnessvisit, they need a vaccine.
And before I switched to thedoctor that we have now, it's
like I really had to be in mystance about damn it, no, we
don't.
And this is why you know, likeI had.

(26:47):
I remember going through thatresearch process and having just
a notebook filled with thetrials and you know that not
being placebo studies and whatwas the death rate of the
disease that you are vaccinatingagainst before we had a vaccine
for it.
And then what's the death ratenow?
After?
What else was going on in theworld?

(27:08):
Was sanitation a thing backthen?
Did they have clean water, didthey have a way to get rid of
our waste properly so that itwasn't contaminating the water?
And so that was just somethingthat I and I remember being in
doctors the pediatrician, theone that I went to, thinking he
was okay with not vaccinating,and he had me almost in tears.
And then he was like we'regoing to schedule a visit, a one

(27:29):
hour visit, for you to comeback next month, and we're going
to talk one-on-one about it,and I was like, no, I don't want
to be lectured about it.
You know, he was like yourchild could get tetanus on my
floor right now and I'm like,well, how dirty are.
And so until finally switchingto someone that was perfectly
fine with not doing it becauseshe had family members,

(27:52):
grandkids, that are notvaccinated, but so, but that was
really hard for me.
Now I'm going through thatagain with the mammogram thing
and I'm like, ok, I understand.
Like they make it sound like ifyou don't get a mammogram at 40
, you will die of breast cancerat 41.
You know it's like OK, I just, Ijust know that right now I need
more time to research.
It's hard and you're right atthe language around it, in the

(28:13):
force it's, it's very difficult.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
Right and it's, it's the language and it's the the
putting negative things out inyour mind and out into your,
your existence.
I talk in the book about, like,we don't have a TV in our house
.
We don't watch commercials,thank God, for a reason, right
by design.
But I remember being at agrandparent's house and just

(28:37):
seeing commercial aftercommercial and almost all of
them were about prescriptions.
And I have this talk about itin the book, where there's this
one where it's like, literallyit's a prescription, that's, do
you take this prescription forthis and do you have this side
effects?
That that wasn't even like abad side effect.
But then you can take thisextra prescription on top of

(28:57):
that and to get rid of the firstside effect.
But then there's of course,like the underneath, on the
bottom, all the horrible sideeffects you're going to get from
that one.
And my point being is that youknow, if you're inundated with
commercials every day tellingyou that you're going to have
this illness, this sickness, andyou're going to the doctor and
they're, you know, fearmongering you, you're going to

(29:19):
have this, this, this, it'sputting that into your psyche.
It has to negatively affect you, affect you.
I remember a friend texted methat he was thinking of quitting
his job and starting his ownbusiness.
But he said the one thing hewas afraid of is breaking.

(29:41):
I don't know if he saidbreaking a leg, but like needing
a hospital, you know, startinghis own business, he wouldn't
have health insurance.
And of course, my response waslike you, just you have to take
the leap of faith.
If it's really what you wantfor your life, if you want to
have this reclaimed life that iswholly yours and no one owns
your time, you just have to takethe leap of faith.
And I said to him like we don'thave, you know, we don't have a

(30:05):
job that gives us the besthealth insurance or whatever,
and we just live holistically,we live healthy lifestyles and
we're good.
Anyways, fast forward.
And this same friend texts me.
He lives far away now, but hehad texted me how are you?
I say Good, we're doing great.
He says, oh, I broke my leg.
And I feel like it was his wayof like.

(30:26):
He wanted to be like see, I wasright, if I got rid of my
health insurance, I would breakmy leg.
No, you created that situation.
You created that by like,fearing that over and over.
You're putting that out there.
I'm not saying everyone thatbreaks their leg created that in
their mind, but I think a lotof things are created in our
mind and I know people are goingto be upset with me for saying

(30:51):
that, but I think that with asociety as sick as the one we
have out there, we have to beaudacious enough to say things
like that, to say that we, ourminds, are powerful and we need
to believe that we are whole,healthy, well beings.
And when we believe that, thatand we live that, I think it'll

(31:11):
create a healthier system.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yeah, like a manifestation.
Yeah, manifest the life that,yeah, that you want to live.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, You're right though too.
Yes, we do have a TV here andwe'll watch Little House on the
Prairie on like whatever app wepay for it, on Peacock maybe.
And I was paying like whateverapp we pay for it on Peacock
maybe, and I was just doing thecheap version and it was so it
would show you commercials.
After I read your book, I wasnoticing every commercial is for

(31:40):
a prescription.
It is crazy and we're one ofthe only countries that allow
that.
But you're right, that'sputting in your head.
You're going to have all thesepsoriasis and you need a
prescription for it.
And I do know a woman that diedrecently my friend's mother and
I said to my friend how did sheget cancer?
She lived such a healthylifestyle and she said honestly,
she always had like skin issues.
She was very fair skinned andso they would always give her a

(32:03):
prescription medication to likeput on her skin, for maybe it
was like rashes or stuff.
I think that did it.
That was what?
Maybe it was like a psoriasis.
So I'm like, oh good Lord,you're right, though A lot of it
is mindset.
I always have this issue nowthat growing up from the
childhood I had to like what Ihave now.

(32:24):
It's like, you know, peacefuland you know, fairly easy.
I mean my husband works a lot,but you know we have a.
You know, fairly easy.
I mean, my husband works a lot,but you know we have a good
relationship, and I'm alwayslike worried that something's
going to happen to him on theroad or something.
So I'm like things aren'tsupposed to be just easy.
And so I'm always like fearful,that like.
And then I'll envision in myhead like getting a phone call

(32:45):
saying like, oh yep, there was acar accident, chris is dead,
and I know this is like scary tosay and I'm putting it out in
the world.
But I've even like gone to apsychic because I was like I
just fear that this is going tohappen.
How can I change it?
And she's like, okay, first ofall, you got to stop thinking
about it, like that's not goingto happen.
Envision your life as oldpeople sitting in your recliners
or your swing outside or takingcare of your animals or on a

(33:08):
beach.
That's your life.
And so she spent the wholesession.
I'm like, okay, now my dad died, is he saying anything?
And she's been the whole hourand I know people probably have
issues around talking topsychics, but whether it was
true or not, she spent the wholetime talking about my life with
Chris as old people.
I thought it was so cutebecause she was just like you
need this right now.
You need this.
But yeah, I think you're soright.

(33:29):
I never really thought aboutthat.
And then when you think aboutsocial media or TVs or movies,
it's not a movie, it's notsomething watchable until
something really bad happens inthe beginning and then you got
to see how they sort it out.
So that's super interesting too.
When you think movies and TVand social media hasn't been
around for that long.
That's fairly recent in thetimeline of human beings.
So before it was just thisforaging for food, your fear was

(33:54):
that you would get eaten bysomething bigger than you know,
an animal or something oranother tribe coming in to take
over your land.
Interesting, it is what we wereso comfortable really in life
now food, shelter, water that wehave to make this stuff up and
put it in social media moviesand TV shows.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's a really good point.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
You guys know I am a big fan of the Tuttle Twins.
I had Connor Boyack, the writerof these books, on episode 24.
I reached out to his companyasking to let me be an affiliate
because I strongly believe intheir books and their message.
In the H5-11 book series, whichI read to my son all the time I
mean, he actually asks us toread these books with him.
Book 5, Road to Serfdom, talksabout what happens to a local

(34:41):
town with local businesses whencorporations start moving in.
Book six, the Golden Rule,talks all about Ethan and
Emily's experience at summercamp through a series of
cheating and manipulation oncertain races that they're
required to complete.
It talks about how the goldenrule of treating others how we
want to be treated ourselves ishow we all should be conducting

(35:03):
our lives.
Education Vacation talks aboutJohn Taylor Gatto and the
creation of the school systemand what it was actually
intended to do, which you get tolearn about by following Ethan
and Emily on a trip to Europe.
And book 11, the Messed UpMarket, takes you through the
journey of kids trying to createsmall businesses, as they learn
all the laws and rules thatgovernment has put in place to

(35:27):
actually make it very difficultfor them.
You learn all about interestsavings versus borrowing, low
interest rates versus highinterest rates and supply and
demand, and these are just someof the books in that series.
Use the link in my show'sdescription or at the
homeschoolhowtocom under thelistener discounts page.
I also want to let you knowabout some other books that the
Tuttle Twins have out America'sHistory, Volume 1 and 2, which

(35:50):
teaches all about the inspiringideas of America's founding
without the bias and hiddenagendas that's found in other
history books for kids and mostlikely in the schools.
There's also books on how toidentify fallacies, modern day
villains all stuff that we wantto be talking to our kids about.
Whether you homeschool or not,these books bring up important

(36:10):
discussions that we should behaving with our children.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Use the link in my show's description or, like I
said, at the homeschool howtocom under listener discounts
the thing about the fear thatused to exist when we were more
primal is and I think for mostanimals it's like that fear
isn't present until you see thelion.
Right, you're not.
You know you're living yourlife.

(36:34):
You see the lion, then youswitch into fight or flight and
then you get away.
The lion goes away, you go backto homeostasis.
The problem is now right withthe lack of lions around where.
I live and where you live, lionsaround where I live and where
you live.
We have created a fear that isjust omnipresent.
It's there all the time andit's fear of the future.

(36:58):
And fear of the future isanxiety, right, like fear is
healthy, fear is something thatis tangible.
That's one of the things I sawwith the students I taught.
They were refugees and they hadthat.
They still that.
Most of their lives they hadhad real fear.
Right, there were actual thingsthey were fearing and so, on

(37:18):
the whole, they didn't haveanxiety.
They there were tangible thingsthat they feared.
There were.
There was purpose andconnection built around those
things.
I think one of the things in mylife that when we lived off grid
, it made our lives be more, youknow, more real.
I guess where not that therewas fear all the time, but like

(37:42):
we had to work at things right.
We had to make sure the woodstove always had wood to keep it
warm and we had to wash ourclothes with water from the
stream, things like that, thingsfrom long ago.
But in modern life people havefloors that just heat up when

(38:04):
you step on them and cars thatdrive you.
You no longer have to driveyourself.
I guess Just stop making yourlife so cushy, stop making life
so easy, because it takes therealness away from life.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
We're supposed to still need to do things to keep
ourselves alive essentially yeah, and I've said that in a few of
my episodes when I had thatrealization that they've
actually going back to the wordyou use, robbed us of the
ability to basically grow yourown food and then have pride in
that and eat the food and watchit, nourish you and your

(38:43):
children, whether that be in agarden or with a cow or chickens
or whatever.
It doesn't.
I mean to tell people, okay, goahead and get a cow and
chickens and grow your food and,you know, prep for the winter
and all that.
Yeah, you don't have to do allthat.
But like one little thing, justone little thing, like I
remember the first time I grewpeas and my son ate it, which he

(39:03):
won't even eat them now, butwhen he ate it, that like
brought tears to my eyes.
I'm like, oh my God, you atesomething that I grew from the
ground that was so foreign to me.
I didn't grow up that way andthen and I think we're so
detached we think that peoplelived that way thousands of
years ago.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
We don't understand.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
It was your grandma, your grandma, and in one
generation they have removed allof that.
They have removed our abilityto know how to live
self-sustainably.
If the power went out tomorrowwhich is completely feasible,
whether it's our own governmentor another nation doing it, to
us it is completely feasible ora natural disaster, quote

(39:41):
unquote A hurricane comesthrough or a tornado whatever,
and you didn't have power for aweek or a month, who would be
able to really sustainthemselves?
I mean, you'd be looking forthe government to send in FEMA
or whatnot.
And we've seen, just in our owncountry in the last couple of

(40:01):
years, they don't do a whole lot.
They're leaving a lot of peopledead out there.
So I think it's our obligationto teach our kids and to be
somewhat self-sustainable.
Whether you practice it in yourdaily life, it doesn't matter.
You need to know how to do itbecause you got to teach your
kids how to do it, because youdon't know that their kids are
they going to need it or theirkids are they going to need it.

(40:22):
And if you're the generationthat that information is lost
from, you're not passing italong and you're just, you're
leaving the rest of yourgenerations to come unequipped.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, yes, amen, cheryl.
Um, I talk in this book, maybemore than I should, but I talk
about COVID, the COVID times,right, not the virus, but, um, I
had to.
I felt like I had to because itwas such a turning point in my
life.
These, you know, the lifestylethat my husband and I live with

(40:54):
our children now is what wewanted, it's what we manifested,
we put on vision boards, weprayed for it to happen and it
did.
But going through the scarytimes of COVID and fearing, you
know, like, can they just likenot let us go in the grocery
stores because we won't do X, Yand Z that they want us to do.
That really, that really wasthe nail in the coffin.

(41:15):
Like, we need to make sure thatwe have access to our own eggs.
Um, we grow so much of our ownfruits and vegetables, um, and
we don't have meat animals yet,but we have friends, close
friends and connections withfarmers that we know that we get

(41:38):
all of our meat from, all ofour dairy from, and so giving
that to our children, justknowing, like our children just
know that as the way we live.
I was lucky too.
I did grow up.
My parents always had a garden.
So I shout out to my parentsfor giving me that childhood.

(41:59):
But yeah, my kids, my daughter,thinks that this is just how
everyone lives and so howbeautiful that they will have
ownership over that and theywon't need to have the anxiety
like it takes some of theanxiety we were talking about
away, because the anxiety can belike, oh well, this could
happen.
Right, the government can dothis to us, and you have all

(42:22):
that anxiety and I talk about itin the book.
You know, during the COVIDtimes we did get caught up in
the anxiety of, like, theoverreaching government and all
the things that they can do, andthat is a very real problem and
I'm glad for all the people whoare still fighting the fight
against the government.
I believe that it's veryimportant to also do the step of
making sure that your familycan sustain themselves, and then

(42:46):
you don't have to be asconcerned about what the
government's doing, because youknow you can.
You can go outside and get yourown food, and it grows
everywhere.
It grows, like even learning toforage food.
Forage food and medicine, right, like we can.
I got.
I had a horrible sore throatrecently, like the worst sore

(43:07):
throat I've ever had, and I justused like natural stuff, like
fire cider that I always have inmy house, that I've made like
oregano oil that a friend had.
And the next morning I woke upand I was totally fine and it
was like if people just knewthat you can do this and you
don't need a drug.
You don't need a pill that youhave no idea what's inside of it

(43:28):
or how to make it yourself.
That's when you give your poweraway.
That's when you think I need, Ineed drug companies and I need
the super, the pharmacy that'sgoing to sell it to me.
And I need this because that'sthe only way I know how to live.
But if you have the power toheal yourself, to keep your
children healthy, to grow yourown food, that's what this whole

(43:49):
book is about.
You know, being an adult notyou know we're not really adults
until we can care for ourselves, and much of society has
forgotten how to care forourselves.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, I think the easiest way to think about it is
if a tornado hit your towntomorrow and you couldn't just
go to the grocery store and getwhat you needed you know, maybe
there's no electricity or waterhow long could you sustain
yourself and your family?
So like that's just an easy,feasible.
You know there's no conspiracybehind a tornado coming.
If you had to, how long couldyou sustain yourself?

(44:21):
And if you're not comfortablewith that answer, what
provisions can you make to makeyourself more comfortable with
the answer?
And it does not have to be thatyou're getting the cow, but do
you know someone that does sellme?
Cause that, to me, was alsoforeign.
I was like what do you mean?
You find a farmer?
Where am I supposed to find afarmer?
We live in New York, but whenyou look they're everywhere.

(44:45):
They're literally everywhere.
I've got one that I get ourmeats from.
I got another person that I getchicken from, when they don't
have chicken.
I know a different farmer thatthey sell chicken.
So it's like, oh, and then Ijust had to learn how to like
make a whole chicken, which Ihad never done before.
I thought they just came inchicken breasts.
And then I'm like, oh well, whatdo I do with this big whole

(45:06):
carcass?
You can make chicken broth.
And then I'm like oh, look,there's all these things I use
chicken broth for now.
It's, you know, to cook pastawith, to cook rice with.
It's actually very useful instews and all that.
So not only is it better for youbecause you've got the bone in
it, the marrow, but you'reactually saving money in the

(45:26):
long run too, because when youbuy good, organic chicken broth
with bone broth it's like $6where, if I can make it for free
, I'm actually saving money.
So, yeah, it's a lot.
So I mean, nobody can justlisten to this and think like,
oh, I can have that tomorrow.
No, no, no, just like littlesteps at a time you just open

(45:47):
the door to.
It might take five, 10 yearsfor you to really get to the
point that you want to be, butthat's okay, because if you
don't take any of the steps, in10 years you're going to be
exactly where you are today.
So you got to.
You know, take it easy andreally just ease yourself into
it.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, I look back and again, this is why I had to
write the book.
I look back and I remembermaking a vision board that had
beehives on it and chickens andlike a like, idealistic picture
of my family.
And it's just like I.
I have it all now and it'scrazy, but of course I have it
right.
I, that's what I set my mind on, that's what I wanted.

(46:23):
So, like to the listeners whatare your priorities?
What do you dream for your life?
Dream it big, like and, and,piece by piece, like you said,
it will unfold and then, beforeyou know it, your life is
completely different.
But it's not overwhelmingbecause it happens slowly, right

(46:44):
, like, if I look back, if Irewind to where I was 10 years
ago, right, to just quickly makethe jump would have been crazy,
but like, slowly, things justhappen.
And then you look back and youare so grateful that you made
those choices right.
I didn't live anymore in a placeof fear.
I, I again I'm going back tofear, but I really think that's

(47:08):
something that holds so manypeople back and keep so many
people small.
And we keep talking about the,the powers that be that want to
keep us small.
Right, they want to.
They want to instill fear in usconstantly, because that keeps
us manageable.
We're billions of people andthey want to manage us and keep
us small.
But we are not small.

(47:28):
We are powerful beings and Itruly believe that anything we
desire we can, we can make cometrue.
And yeah, so if it's a beehive,imagine it, and then you'll
soon have these.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Yeah, and we are also so trained in society through
school and the media that moneyis what success is, and that
couldn't be further from thetruth.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah, and I was thinking that earlier.
Thank you for bringing it back,because I remember hearing a
comedian years ago and I don'tknow who it was and I won't do
it justice but he was probablykilled.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
He was probably killed by the CIA anyway.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
But he was saying how , like people make the excuse,
well, I need to work because Ineed money.
Like people make the excuse,well, I need to work because I
need money so I can buy food formy family.
And then he makes the joke oflike God is like I put food all
over the place for you for free,right, but we, we.

(48:32):
But I still see people justmowing their lawns and like,
mowing all this stuff down andwe still have money coming in.
I'm not saying we're not downand we still have money coming
in.
I'm not saying we're not, we'retotally living self-sustainably
.
My husband went off to run hislandscaping business right now,
but um, mowing a lawn.
No, he does not.
He does not.
He plans edible food for people.
He tries to convince people to.
I didn't know that.

(48:53):
Yeah, I mean, you know a lot ofhis customers do want more like
aesthetic landscapes, butwhenever he can, he convinces
people to grow a mulberry tree.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
That's awesome.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Yeah, yeah, my point being that, like we, we are
making this money to buy foodwithout realizing that we can.
We can access so much of thefood without money, right?

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Well, and it so.
The other day, someone, um uh,brad, actually, who you want to
meet so badly and um who mightbe listening to this?
Hi, brad.
So he said my mom needs astarter for her sourdough.
Could I, you know, steal someof yours?
I'll pay you.
I'm like you don't need to payme for a starter.
And he goes well, we growasparagus, I'll just give you

(49:44):
asparagus for it.
So it was like so funny.
I left the starter in the frontseat of my car and then I come
back to my car and there's abushel of asparagus there that
we made last night and that'swhat it was in Little House on
the Prairie that we watched.
You, barter, I have somethingthat you need and you're giving
me something that I don't grow.
That's so cool.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
And.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
I know that's just such a little example, but there
are.
But hey, I can build a house.
I will build a house for you ifyou maybe educate my children,
because we don't have the timeto homeschool.
It's like it can be on agrander scale.
You just have to like reallywrap your mind around it.
I mean, homeschooling seemedcompletely ridiculous, utterly

(50:28):
ridiculous to me.
If you asked me 10 years ago,will you be homeschooling?
I would have been like, well, Idon't even know if I'm going to
have kids and two.
Oh, hell, no, no.
And then now I just couldn'timagine it any other way, and we
talk more with you about yourunschooling approach and living
completely in a tent back onepisode 98.
So definitely go check thatepisode out if you want to hear

(50:49):
more about Mary's lifestyle withthe homeschooling and how she
unschools and how she lived, forhow long A year and a half.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
A year and a half.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Yeah, go ahead.
So cool, it was so cool.
Check out that episode.
But, yeah, just this.
I mean, I don't know, I neverwould have envisioned myself
here.
Yeah, I would have been amillion dollars.
No way that I would not beliving that lifestyle and I'm so
happy I am.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
But you're touching on another chapter that is so
important and really was thejumping off point to this whole
new life for me was tribe.
I have a chapter called takingback my tribe and it's your what
you're describing, where yougive a starter and someone gives
you asparagus.
I literally have radishes in mysink right now that I'm
bringing you later.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Because I have never eaten a radish in my life and
couldn't believe it.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
But yeah, that's what's so beautiful about this
life too, is that we live in atribe where it is common group.
Text messages on my phone areso often like hey, you know, my
kid has this ailment, doesanyone have something for that?
And then everyone's chiming inwith like remedies they have or
things that they could offersomeone.

(52:01):
You know, when we built ourhoop house, like our really
great friend Greg, he comes overand he helps build the hoop
house and then when he needs toborrow my husband's tractor, he
borrows the tractor and yeah,and we all homeschool our kids
together, right?
We all are in this tribe wherewe have the same vision for our
children we and we can.

(52:22):
We can work together and do ittogether.
And that also led to anotherchapter where I talk about
taking back my femininity.
And, um, I try to portray inthat chapter why why I think
that so many women around the50s just wanted to get away from
being in the kitchen, thattypical women role, female role

(52:47):
of cooking for your family andtaking care of the kids.
And it's because the communalpart of it was all taken away
around the 50s.
They created all these thingsto make life easier.
You can have the washingmachine and you can have the
refrigerator and you have allthese things that you can do it
by yourself.
But that's lonely right.

(53:07):
We're not meant to do it byourselves, we're meant to like
the Afghani families I taught inthe past, where all the women
are together, they're raisingthe children together, they're
cooking the food together, andwe're meant to still live like
that.
And so, of course, women of the50s, when you watch I don't
know you watch the shows theylook so sad because they're in
the house all day, the husbandgoes off to work and they're

(53:29):
doing it all by themselves.
But if you're doing all thesethings together with your
sisters, your chosen sisters,you're one of them.
For me, we're all raising ourkids together.
It's not lonely.
I get to spend my day withthese women and men who I love
and I admire and have an amazingconversation with, and so I

(53:53):
love being a woman, being amother.
It's the best life I could everimagine.
But when I first became a mother, I didn't feel that.
I remember even saying I thinkI wrote a blog post I loved my
son, but I didn't love being amother, and that's because I was
doing it the mainstream way.
I was sending him to a daycare,I was going off to work and

(54:15):
then I was coming home and I was, you know, having a couple
hours with him and then doing itall over again, all over again,
and it wasn't beautiful.
I was happy enough, right Likeyou could, you might have a
happy enough life and I couldhave lived that life forever.
But now I have an abundant,rich life that I'm so proud of
and that I want for my childrento replicate, right Like that's

(54:38):
another piece of it too, Are youliving now the life that you
want your children to replicate?
Because our actions mean so muchmore to our children than our
words and we can say live thisway.
But if you as an adult, if youas the parent, aren't living
that way, then it doesn't meananything to the kids.
So, yeah to all the listenersout there.
That's a question I want you toruminate on today is are you

(55:01):
living the life you want yourchildren to live?

Speaker 1 (55:04):
And that's so powerful, even just when I think
back to working my eight tofour, I'd have the hour commute
pretty much by the time I woulddrop my son off at daycare, and
that was so early.
Just waking him out, shakinghim out of bed, you know, come
on.
I tried to sing to him buteventually you gotta be like, oh
, wake up, you know, at 6am sothat I can get him to daycare by

(55:26):
seven, so that I can get toAlbany by eight, and then just
sit in the cubicle in this dingyoffice breathing God knows what
they're putting in the air.
I I mean, my husband actuallyworks on air conditioning
systems in state buildings andhospitals and schools and he's
like you should not be breathingthat in um, no open windows.

(55:46):
And then my breaks were, youknow, in the city, and sure, I
was on the hudson river, so likea little cool, but I wasn't
taking advantage, I didn't likeeven think about being on the
Hudson there, you know, you justall this traffic and smog.
And then I'd pick them up atthe end of the day and rush to
put something on the table,which was annoying because, like
you said, you're living in thismainstream, you're doing it all

(56:07):
by yourself.
Oh, what can I put on the tablefor dinner tonight?
And then getting them in thebath and rushing to bed.
It's like I didn't even know him.
I didn't know what he did allday.
I didn't know the little thingsthat he said or actions, or how
he felt if he needed a hug.
I didn't know any of that.
And just now I've been with mydaughter since day one and all

(56:30):
the things that I see her do arelittle things that just make me
smile or give you thatwarm-hearted feeling because you
see your two kids doingsomething together that makes
you proud.
He was working on her with apuzzle yesterday and I didn't
ask him to, he just startedshowing her.
This is a J.
Where could it go?
What do you think it looks likeon the puzzle?

(56:50):
And they're 6 and 2.
That just warmed my heart somuch, not to say they don't
fight, because they totally do,but that's a learning experience
too the fighting.
And how are we going to workthrough this?
And you're making mom crazy.
So how are we going to mitigatethis?
But also it's springtime herein upstate New York and I'm now,
for the first time in my life,noticing, like, look at, these

(57:11):
birds are building a nest.
That's cool.
Let's see the progress they'remaking every day.
And then yesterday I noticedthat and like what kind of bird
is it?
And it took us like a week tolisten to the Merlin app at what
the sounds word that identifiesthe bird, and then looking it
up and is that the bird thatwe're seeing?
And looking it up online or ina book.
And oh my God, these areEastern Phoebes.

(57:34):
Are they rare?
Or what they rare?
What are the habits?
And then I noticed yesterday abird's nest right on my
daughter's windowsill so we canactually watch if they lay eggs
there.
We'll actually be able to watchthe process in real time.
This is just stuff I neverwould have noticed if I were
still working in a cubicle andthey were at school or daycare
all day.
And it's like I'm so thankfulfor this.

(57:55):
It's worth giving up the$100,000 a year paycheck that I
had.
It was so worth it 100%.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Yeah, that's the biggest thing.
I believe it's my first chapterof my book Taking Back my Time.
It is our most valuableresource our time and most
people are giving most of it upto somebody else, to a company's
bottom line, to an institutionthey maybe don't believe in.

(58:25):
They're giving their time awayday after day.
And, yeah, when you reclaimyour time, you put it perfectly
your kids get to sleep in andwake up, whatever the time they
want.
You get to have slow days whereyou just notice birds, like you
notice a nest.
It's, it's so beautiful.
Um, there was one other, oh, andyou were talking about the

(58:49):
relationship between your kids.
I was just talking to someoneyesterday and or not I don't
know about homeschooling, andshe said something about her
kids don't get along.
She has two kids.
I don't know abouthomeschooling and she said
something about her kids don'tget along.
She has two kids.
They don't get along and theyneed to do things differently.
They need to keep them separate.
And I don't know this personwell, but from what I know, you
know they're in like five sportsa piece and they go to daycare

(59:10):
or whatever.
Um, they're never together.
Of course, they don't get alongright.
And and I had the audacity tosay that to her Like if you
homeschool, they get to knoweach other, right, they get to
grow up together and, yeah, mykids have the most amazing
relationship.
They're 11, 4, and 1.

(59:32):
And so they're big agedifferences.
Like the Merrick and Micah, 11and four, they can play for
hours together and it's just thesweetest thing to watch unfold.
You know they'll wake up in themorning and, like they just have
one of them has an idea of thisimaginative game they're going
to play and they just go intothis other world and it's so

(59:52):
sweet and it's a huge learningexperience that is taken away
from most kids that don't get tostay in that side of their
brain, right, like we just shipthem off to school and they,
they I think it's left brain,left side of the brain, right,
that's just intellectual and you, just you sit down at a desk
and by pre-k I think they're nowhaving like tests where they

(01:00:14):
have to know these certainthings, and so they're not
getting that time to just havean imagination, be creative.
They're, they're, you know,being programmed.
They're just treating our kidslike objects in a factory, but
it's.
There's so much more that'spossible and there's beautiful
relationships and there'sbeautiful experiences out in the
world, when you have time, whenyou've made that the priority

(01:00:38):
for your family.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Yeah, and screens rob them of that too.
And I mean, we are, we do havescreens in our family.
I try to mitigate what I can,but I do notice that if I'm just
like, oh, the remote's lost,there's a little bit of a fight,
but then they will findsomething creative to do and
I'll just sit back and watch andlike, oh see, yeah you, you
could have just done that in thefirst place.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
Yeah, another big shout out to my mom.
Like my parents, they, wedidn't have cable growing up.
We did have a TV, but my mom,like, the rule was we couldn't
watch the TV till dark when wedidn't have cable.
So there was very little towatch and I was angry at my
parents when I was in highschool, you know like, for not

(01:01:22):
giving us cable.
Had I been homeschooled Iwouldn't have had the pressure
of public school kids andfeeling like I was missing out
on anything right, like I wouldhave.
That just would have been myexistence.
But the point is is that now,when I became an adult, I can
look back and thank them andrealize they were right.
I was wrong and I'm so gratefulthat instead of cable, I had,
you know, acres of woods behindmy house and trees to just climb

(01:01:45):
and streams to walk in.
That's what education is.
Even when I was a teacher inpublic ed, I was just like you
know.
You create a world, a richenvironment around kids and then
you, like you know you create aworld, a rich environment
around kids and then you justlet them exist in it.
Right, it doesn't have to be socurated Like we want to curate
everything for our kids.

(01:02:06):
We want to give them all thesecontrived ways to learn.
But if we just create richenvironments and we take away
the screens like I don't usescreens a lot, as you can tell,
because it took me like half anhour to- get on this call with
you, but it's and I don't hangout with a lot of people that

(01:02:28):
have cell phones present a lot,so I sometimes forget what the
rest of the world is like.
But when I go to places like youknow waiting room or restaurant
and I just see people onscreens all the time and I know
this, people know this.
I'm not the only one thatpeople know like we got to stop
looking down at our screens,right, we got to stop, we got to

(01:02:49):
look up, we got to reclaim thisbeautiful world we live in
beautiful world.
We live in and if we're, ifwe're aware of it as adults, it
is our obligation to model forour children what we want and if
we don't want our kids onscreens all the time.
You know, like you're running apodcast, so like that's your,

(01:03:10):
that's your work, but you're notwalking around just like head
down on on a phone all the time,right Like we need a little too
much.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
I need to be I do need to be more aware, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
But, like the title of my book is Taking Back my
Life, and one thing I think weneed to take back is our upright
bodies, right Like stopslouching over everybody and
looking at your phones.
Take back our human connectionwith people.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
I love that, so okay, is it on sale now at my website
, marywainwrightcom.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
So cool to have a website, um, and uh, it's being
sold from Troy Bookmakers, um,so my website will redirect you
to uh, theirs.
However, it will also beavailable on Amazon, um, I did
choose to.
So you do still have to pay forshipping on amazon, um, but I

(01:04:03):
chose to publish self-publishoutside of amazon with, uh, with
a publishing company, becauseyou know it's it's all about
taking things away from JeffBezos and the powers that be.
So.
Long story short, you have topay for shipping, but do it.
It's worth it.

(01:04:23):
I think it's.
I really think it can changeyour life.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
And so that's for the physical book.
Is there, like the Kindleversion too, if someone didn't
want to pay E-book?

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
An e-book?
Yeah, An e-book will be.
My publisher will be making anebook shortly after the physical
books come out, so if that ishow you prefer to read, you can
also get that from Amazon too.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Well, I will put all of the links in the show's
description and so you caneasily click through and see
what you're comfortable, youknow with.
But I definitely think this isa book that you should read, or
even gift it to someone who ismaybe pregnant and should maybe
just be looking at all sides andthinking of the things to ask,
right along with the vaccinationif you're pregnant.

(01:05:07):
Right, because something Iwanted to touch on earlier like
my sister's kids, you know, theygot everything on the CDC
schedule.
They're always in the doctor,always, and she they didn't go
to daycare or anything but earinfections, this and that, and
like always, oh, he's sick,she's sick, he's sick.
You just think that that's anormal way of life.
And like, since we stoppeddoing the CDC schedule, knock on

(01:05:28):
wood, we don't have doctorvisits, other than I do take
them to a wellness visit everyyear.
But she just kind of looks atthem and talks to me and, okay,
how are they doing this?
Let's see their speech.
And like that's it, that's theextent of it.
Like I don't my daughter she'salmost three, she's I was just
thinking about this this morningshe's never even had Tylenol or
like ibuprofen, and that's soforeign to me.

(01:05:51):
I didn't grow up that way.
It was like, oh, you have alittle headache, here's some
Zadvil, you have a little fever,here's some Tylenol.
And it's like maybe you don'tneed all of that if you're not
doing all the other things thatcause it.
So yeah, I love this book thatit just opens people's eyes.
I don't think it's pushingpeople in any way to be this way
.
This is the right way.
It's just opening people's eyesto that there is an alternative

(01:06:13):
and it's not crazy.
It's just getting back to theroots.

Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
Yes, yes, thank you, Cheryl.
Thank you so much foreverything you've done to help
support me and this book, andyeah, hopefully it'll change
some lives Awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Thank you for being here today, mary.
Bye-bye Bye.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How-To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
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Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool

(01:06:47):
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Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation.