When Wendy’s autistic daughter came home from school writing “I am not smart” on her papers, everything changed.
Initially completely against homeschooling, Wendy faced a painful truth: the public school system was failing her child. With IEP accommodations ignored, concerning approaches to gender identity, and even medical decisions made without parental consent, Wendy reached her breaking point.
She took education into her own hands.
In this powerful episode of The Homeschool How To Podcast, Wendy shares:
- Why she walked away from the school system
- Creative strategies like “grocery cart math” that made learning click
- How multisensory, movement-based learning helped her autistic daughter succeed
- Her bold stance: parents can educate neurodivergent children better than professionals
- What the 6% independence rate for autistic adults means for her family’s goals
Whether you’re homeschooling a child with special needs, curious about alternatives to public education, or searching for hope in your parenting journey—this episode will challenge and encourage you.
What is the most important thing we can teach our kids?
HOW TO HANDLE AN EMERGENCY!
This could mean life or death in some cases!
Help a child you know navigate how to handle an emergency situation with ease: Let's Talk, Emergencies! -
🛒 Get 15% off the Tuttle Twins books mentioned in this episode using code Cheryl15:
🎧 Subscribe and share with a fellow parent who needs to hear this.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region?
And should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome, and with us today Ihave Wendy from New York.
Wendy, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm good.
Thanks, cheryl, how are you?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So we know each other and you don't live in my area
in New York any longer, but youused to take my Zumba class.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
That's right, my first Zumba class.
And you're the reason I stilltoday love Zumba.
It's my preferred way ofexercising, because it's just
absolutely fun.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
It's so fun and I just got done teaching a class,
so it's so funny that I wasthinking about you during the
class while I was teaching andI'm like, geez, when did Wendy
take my class?
Cause I've been teaching at theschool down the road for me for
like 10 years and you were yeah, well, you weren't you at, like
, the vent fitness gym?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, yeah, and that was after my first child, so
yeah, that was like a decade ago.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's so cool that you reached out to say that you
homeschool as well, which it'slike there are a lot of
homeschoolers in New York, but Inobody from like the world that
I lived in before I kind ofwoke up to reality none of those
people like homeschool or youknow, live that kind of
lifestyle.
So it's so funny to hear peoplefrom my past that are like yes,
(01:45):
I'm, I'm on this path too.
Where did you even did you knowyou wanted to homeschool from
the beginning.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
No, actually I was the opposite.
I was never going to homeschool.
I was very adamant that Ididn't want to be my child's
everything, but after thepandemic it was 21.
So my kids actually went toschool the year after and it was
like a month into the schoolyear the following year and I
was like I'm out, like I can'tdo this anymore.
(02:13):
It's, it doesn't make sense forus, um, and it's not really
working for all of us, and I hadsome trust issues as well.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay, Interesting so they.
How old are your kids and howmany do you have?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Now, my oldest is going to be 12 this August, my
twins are eight and we'reactually expecting our fourth in
January.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Congratulations.
Thank you, that's so exciting.
Oh, so you got a 12 year oldand a baby.
That's fun.
Yeah, it's going to be wild,yes, but that's so fun.
I love it, cause, yeah,homeschoolers just you're
supposed to have lots of kids,right?
I like Exactly you know what?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Let's just go for it.
You know, I just turned 40 inFebruary, so I'm like it's now
or?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
never.
I'm exactly one year older thanyou.
I turned 41 in February and wehave like the one month where,
cause, I'm trying to like notput a lot of toxins in my body
anymore.
I did a lot of damage the first40 years and but we had one
month where we like had a scareand I'm like, oh, we got to
figure something out.
I don't think I can do a third.
(03:18):
They're a lot, but I love them.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
They are.
I mean, we had twins and thatwas bananas.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Oh, that's fun though , and so okay.
So your daughter was abouteight when COVID happened and
you or seven or eight and youwere like thinking this was nuts
.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
She was six and she was in first grade, and it
wasn't until about two yearslater, I think, that I pulled
them out.
So yeah, she was eight by thetime I decided to homeschool.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
What was it?
You said trust issues.
What was this kind of centeredaround?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I mean I wasn't a huge fan of the COVID shot being
pushed on children and hearingthat some teachers in certain
districts not necessarily minewere giving it to children
without their parental consentwhat, yeah, so that was.
That was just kind of one part,but I had toyed with the idea
because my oldest is autisticand I knew where she was in
(04:13):
school and she wasn't likekeeping up and I didn't feel
like it was working for her.
She's not the kid who can sitstill all day long and just kind
of do what she's told.
She needs movement and a lot ofit, um, and so homeschooling
really allows us to work around.
Her needs, um, and all of ourshonestly.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yes, are your twins.
Are they both boys?
No, I have all girls.
So far, okay, and you don'tknow for the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
We don't know yet for the little one.
Yeah, okay, okay, and you don'tknow for the next one, we don't
know yet.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
For the little one.
Yeah, okay, all right, so wehave old girls.
So, yes, this is interestingbecause I once I kind of like my
son, I gave him everything onthe CDC schedule and all that
stuff, um, never thought twiceabout it.
And then with the COVID, Istarted, you know, watching the
high wire with Dell big tree andlike, oh, they're putting that
in the COVID shot and oh, that'show little they've actually
(05:06):
studied the safety.
Yeah, no, we're not gettingthat.
And then they kind of woulddelve into the other ones and
I'm like, wait a minute, is thisstuff?
Parents, like, do I have theauthority to question this?
And it's so weird that wereally they kind of make us like
think we're not even able to.
But so this was one of thefears I had, I think the first
(05:26):
episode.
I talked about the fears ofhomeschooling, but then also my
fears on sending them totraditional school, and one of
my fears was like I am worriedthat they're going to inject
them with something, whether itbe a flu shot that I no longer
want them to have, or the COVIDshot or anything else, that
they're going to take thoseliberties at school, in the
nurse's office or wherever.
Maybe they have a truck, pullup to the school and trust that
(05:49):
my kids are going to come backthe way I sent them.
That was, you know, and I feltcrazy actually thinking that way
.
I'm like am I nuts?
Have I dropped off the deep end?
But now that you're saying it,you have validated me so much.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yes, I mean, I mean having to have that conversation
with your eight-year-old andyour four-year-olds.
Don't let anyone do anythingwith a vaccine.
Don't let them.
I should be there if you are toreceive anything, Because even
the flu shot you had to be therewith your kid in order for them
to receive it at the school.
(06:25):
But when I get that kind ofinformation, I'm like, yeah, I
have trust issues now, and evenmore so as the political and
social climate has changed andhow we've opened up on this
whole gender identity thing inpublic schools.
I know for certain that mychild would have been a target
(06:46):
and we would have.
We would not be the family thatwe are because we would be
fighting just to keep her hereand keep our parental rights.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yes, and that's another thing.
I don't feel like I talk aboutit a lot on the show, but I have
a lot of opinions about it.
I mean, I know that the agendabehind this is to get our kids
on pharmaceuticals for the restof their life and they want to
depopulation.
They want to depopulate there.
They literally tell you on TEDTalks and the World Economic
Forum they're telling you theworld's overpopulated.
(07:17):
We have to bring it down 15percent.
You know Bill Gates is on videosaying it, so we know that they
think there's too many of us.
And then all of a sudden nowthey want to give our little
ones things that would make themnot be able to procreate later
on.
And just if they're onpharmaceuticals for the rest of
their life, I mean you kind ofhave to be if you're gender
transforming, you know I wouldimagine you got to block
(07:40):
hormones and estrogen andwhatever for the rest of your
life.
So there is a customer for therest of their lives and it's
like would anybody really dothat?
But yeah, they would.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, unfortunately, we kind of have to believe
almost everything these days,you know, because, I mean,
things have just been bogglingyour mind Like is that really
happening?
Actually it is happening, youknow, and I didn't want to get
into a situation where mydaughter would say, you know, I
want to be a boy and so I didn'twant to be lied to, deceived,
things to be kept from usbecause we are her parents, we
(08:15):
are ultimately in charge of heruntil she becomes an adult and
is in charge of herself, and Idon't trust that people would be
honest with us.
I mean, I sent her to schoolfor therapies like the year
after.
It was like fourth grade, andthe first question out of her
speech therapist mouth was whatdoes your daughter, what does
(08:36):
she identify as?
And I was like I don'tunderstand.
She is a girl, like no, I knowthat she might like being a boy,
but it's like it's called beinga tomboy and we've lost that
term over the past few years andit is still a thing.
She can dress however she likes.
She dresses the way that shedoes because she has sensory
(08:56):
needs, and so we don't like girlclothes because they're cut too
close to the body.
And so when she was six, Icould barely keep clothes on
this child and she was likenaked in the backyard for the
whole summer.
Like you're at least youngenough to do this now.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
So let's figure out what those clothes are.
And it was just boy clothesstuff that was boxier, cut
farther away Instead ofinteresting, yeah, and so it
took some time and her hair wasalso a sensory issue and so that
was cut off.
She only started growing itback out over the past like year
or so, because she wants braidsnow.
(09:32):
But you know it's a physicalpain for her and so after a
while we just stopped fightingthose things because they're
trivial, they're clothes,they're hair.
Hair grows back.
Maybe you like to wear girlclothes another time, but who
cares?
If you don't Be comfortable Bewho you are, that doesn't mean
you have to change anythingabout your body.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Right To chop something off, add something to
it or take a chemical to changewhat's going on?
physiologically inside, right,yeah, and I think about this.
Like the teachers, I feel likethey're, they feel that they are
coming from a good place.
Like the teachers don't feellike I'm going to get another
one and, you know, put this oneon the tally marks.
(10:14):
Like they feel like, oh, theyjust, the parents just don't
understand, Like the old WillSmith song or something from the
nineties, so they can come tome, but they don't see the world
the way that we do with.
No, they're targeting theirpharmaceutical industries are
targeting the kids to makelifelong customers and you're
(10:34):
stepping in and aiding thepharmaceutical industry.
That has already proved to usthat they are liars and
manipulators and will doanything to make a dollar.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And trying to keep our parental rights from us,
which we are 100% entitled to.
That's my kid.
I get to make those decisionsfor the greater good, for her
well-being, until she's oldenough and wise enough to make
those decisions on her own.
She chooses to do somethingabout that when she's 18, she'll
(11:04):
be an adult, not a child andpre pubescent child at the time
Right, and even I experienced itwith my son when he was four.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We sent him to a private preschool.
It was only like a couple oftimes a week, but they would put
hand sanitizer on them everytime they entered the school and
I would tell my son, I toldthem I don't want hand sanitizer
on his hands.
If his hands are dirty, justsend him to the bathroom to wash
them.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Water is better than anything.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, they're putting a chemical right on your
child's hands so it's seeping in, it's getting into their
bloodstream and I didn't want iton him.
He was four, three or four andum, so they were doing it anyway
and he had to tell me, at fouryears old, mom, they're still
making me put hand sanitizer onmy hands, and yeah, so I had to
say to them again.
They were like well, is it anallergy?
(11:52):
You know it's.
It's again the parental rights.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Right, and you know I had.
You know my child at a youngerage wasn't very open and verbal.
I mean she didn't really speaka lot until she was almost four,
you know three, four.
She was in speech therapy atthree years old but you know I
wouldn't get any information outof her when she went to school,
like how was your day, what didyou do today, I learned like
(12:18):
that was all I would get fromher.
So it was, you know, even moreof a trust issue because I can't
get any information out of thischild and so I'm just trusting
that you guys are doing a goodjob for her at blindly trusting
and after a while I'm like no, Ican't do that anymore.
I need to know what's going on.
(12:38):
And you know I probably becamea little bit of a nuisance to
her special ed teachers.
You know you're going tocommunicate with me and like
regularly, yeah, so like everysingle day.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
How has homeschooling her?
What have you done to makelearning easier for her?
Like I know, there are probablyparents listening that are like
, oh I, I couldn't homeschool mychild because they have autism
or because they're on thespectrum, so therefore let me
let the professionals handle it.
They're better equipped than Iam and I know, just like you're
(13:11):
nodding your head, that's farfrom the truth.
What have you done to help herlearn in a way that the school
can't offer?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, we had a really good example.
She went back to school infifth grade.
She wanted to and she was verymuch struggling at home, and so
I allowed her to go back for acouple of months.
I allowed her to go back.
It only lasted a couple ofmonths, but you know, she was in
fifth grade and in a fifthgrade math class when she was
really more like first or secondgrade math, because they really
(13:39):
didn't cover it or make surethat she had mastered the
fundamentals back during COVIDand the year after COVID,
because that was her first andsecond grade years.
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(14:12):
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Speaker 2 (14:23):
And I even told this to them at her progress report
in November.
She went in September and shewas out basically after
Thanksgiving and at her progressreport with her teachers I told
them I said you are limited.
I said I am not.
I can do whatever I want.
I said so if I need to go backand master those fundamentals, I
(14:45):
will, and I did, you know, overthe past couple of years.
And, yeah, she was in fifthgrade with you know a barely a
second grade math and she's infifth grade math.
So she is feeling stupid andshe's writing on her papers.
I am bad at math, I am notsmart.
Nobody talks to me about this,I just see it on the papers that
(15:07):
come home from school and thatbothered me.
So you know I can do what Ineed to do to meet her where she
truly is and adjust ourcurriculum, adjust how I teach,
what I teach, just how I teachwhat I teach, what we use as our
resources in order to help heralong, not let her sit and
(15:31):
flounder and feel worse andworse about herself.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, and I wonder how many kids in the class were
just like her and it was likebut this is the curriculum this
year, so we're rolling with it,no child left behind.
You all have to pass this oneway or another.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I mean the truth is is that I talked to her special
ed team a couple of times andthey're just telling me, even
though she has an IEP, thatthere's not enough room in the
remedial math class for her.
There's already too manychildren in that class to make
room for a autistic child whoneeds that help also.
(16:11):
And I thought, well, that'scrap.
You make room, you figure thatout.
But also now we're notfollowing her IEP, which, in my
opinion and as far as myunderstanding goes, is against
all of the rules and the laws.
With special education childrenthey're supposed to do that.
(16:33):
And then I just get you knowcrap answers Like there's not
enough room and I'm like youcannot seriously leave her in
fifth grade math.
She can't do it, yeah, norshould should she.
She needs to go backwardsbecause you guys didn't make
sure that she had it and, yes, Ihad her for third and fourth
grade and I missed it too.
I was trying to just kind ofpick her up where I thought she
(16:55):
was, but that's not where shewas.
So we've had to go back andeven this year, as a sixth
grader she we had to go and do awhole unit on subtraction just
so that we had that fundamentals, but we did it in eight weeks
and then we did multiplicationand we're going to finish next
(17:16):
week.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That brings up pretty much like what I'm doing with
my son right now, because he'stechnically should be ending his
first grade year if he were inthe traditional school.
But we've jumped around alittle bit for reading because
you know, I tried all aboutreading with the pre-reading for
the kindergarten year and heliked that.
But I wanted to see what othercurriculums were like.
(17:38):
So you know, I picked up the Ithink it was teach your child to
read in 100 easy lessons andthen I mixed that with something
else and the first 50 lessonswere great.
But then he got to lesson 50and it was like Mount Everest
for him.
So I took a break.
We did just kind of like I justread to him.
Then we picked it back up fromlesson one the minute he got to
(18:01):
lesson 50 again, it was just theparagraphs were so long and it
was just really hard for him andI was like, okay, I can't make
him struggle with this becausehe's just not going to enjoy
reading ever.
So I asked around for some tips,some pointers.
We tried a few different things.
I ended up landing on wherehe's working right now, on
Reading Horizons.
I think one of my guests,natalie recommended Reading
(18:24):
Horizons and it is online but Imean he kind of likes that.
I feel like he.
He feels like he's gotownership of it, he's got agency
there, it has some games in it,it has lessons and it's
teaching him the fundamentals.
But I started him at thekindergarten level and this was
a few months ago.
So he was like, technically,all his friends in school would
be finishing up their firstgrade year and he was starting.
(18:45):
I started him at kindergarten.
I was like I'm sorry but I, ifit's easy, you'll go through it
really fast.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And if it's not easy On those skills from there
because, starting farther backbecause I did the same thing I
went back to like first gradeCause I'm like we're like still
counting on our fingers and weshould be farther than this, and
so I went all the way back justto make sure that we could have
a little confidence in what wewere doing and feel good about
(19:13):
ourselves and yes, I can, I knowthat and build from there.
And math is still a struggle.
Reading is a struggle, butthat's a uh, also a vision thing
for her as well.
She's had glasses since she wasthree as well, so you can't
push it, because then she's justpushing back instead of just
kind of finding that happymedium of where I can teach her
(19:35):
and she's learning and we're notflipping out and having
meltdowns all the time, eitherone of us.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Have you found ways to mitigate that?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I have to pick and choose my curriculum.
It can't be overly wordy,overly cumbersome.
It kind of has to get right tothe point.
And I'm at a point now that I'mpiecemealing our entire
curriculum.
I am on Pinterest all the timelooking for just different
lessons and different games.
(20:08):
I will reach out to anotherhomeschool mom who is actually a
former teacher.
She's got four boys and one ofthem is also autistic and I'm
like, please help me with aresource that will work when it
comes to this math, because I'mlike we're not making any
headway to this math.
Because, like I'm like we'renot making any headway.
(20:28):
And she recommended Kate Snowand what was it?
Subtraction, facts that stick.
They also have addition,multiplication, division, and
then she has a whole bunch ofother like curriculum math.
Math with confidence, I think,is what it is and that's been
working.
I picked up subtraction andmultiplication and, like I said,
we're almost done and next yearwe get to do division.
(20:50):
Okay, so just building blocks,building upon what she already
knows, so that way we areconfident and we can move on to
the other things, becausewithout those fundamentals she's
just going to struggle for therest of her life Right.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And how long did it take you?
You said you started back atlike first grade.
How long did it take you to getto where?
What level are you at now?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We're closing in more on fourth.
Um, I've been more focused onkey areas, that key areas of
struggle, key areas that sheneeds to work on.
I'll Google it.
You know, google what does athird grader need to know?
And it just spits out all thatinformation and I'm like I'll
(21:33):
write all that down and thenwe'll just start kind of
chipping away at thatinformation.
But, yeah, we're, we're closerto fourth grade because it took
us last year.
It took us like we had to dolike not all first grade, but we
had to do a good portion of itand second grade, kind of math.
And the twins are in a verysimilar situation.
(21:54):
They're finishing up secondgrade right now.
So I can kind of do a lottogether.
You know, and with a child whois on the autism spectrum, you
have to understand that theirbrain works differently and they
probably won't be at the samelevel as their peers and that
there's nothing wrong.
That's just how their brainswork and they learn.
(22:17):
They usually learn differently.
So, making it more fun, moreplay, so games work nicely, but
a kinesthetic way of learning isalso helpful.
Having that hands-on abilityhelps them learn in a very
multisensory way.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
So what have been some of the tactics that you've
used or found that really workedon Pinterest Games?
Like board games, or games thatthey just kind of do up and you
can get home with what you have.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, they just kind of do them up or I replicate
them, even like spelling.
We are atrocious with that, andso this year I was
hyper-focusing on math andspelling, cause it was just bad.
So I found that crazy.
Spelling was something I foundon Pinterest.
I recreated it myself and it'sjust you use a dice and whatever
(23:10):
they roll, that's what they getto do for their.
They write down their spellingwords, so it could be like funky
letters, cursive write it threetimes.
There's a few other ones, youknow six different ones.
They loved it.
It was.
They wanted that every day fora while, and so it's just
changing things up too, so thatwe're not getting bored, because
(23:33):
she's also ADHD, so we getbored with things, and so we
just need things to be a littlebit more exciting and make sense
in real life.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
That's key.
That's key to make it relate tosomething in their world Right.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Because if you just spit, spit, yeah, on pizza for
years and it did it again when Imade pizza this past week I I'm
like what you know, what isthis and what you know?
If I cut it like this, what,what are they now?
And cut it like this, and you,what are they now?
And I cut it like this, and youknow, and she's really starting
to grasp it because it makessense.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, yes, and I try to do that, like with my son
when he's doing math, you know,and he'll write.
Okay, here's the word problem.
And he just usually knows towrite the first number he hears
and then the second number hehears.
But they'll try to trick himevery now and then to make sure
he's putting the larger numberfirst to subtract.
And I have to turn it into amoney problem and say, ok, so if
(24:30):
you have seven dollars and Itook 13 from you, how's that
going to work?
And then he knows it clicks.
Oh, I have to switch thenumbers around because he's not
into like integers or anythingyet negative.
So you know, I have to put itin terms like money, because
that he'll, he'll get or I'lluse like okay, these screws are
lug nuts for a tire, you knowyeah exactly Right.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
So real life, you know real things that make sense
to them.
Another thing that I've Ipicked up that I didn't finish
this year, um, cause we weredoing it with the family, but um
was grocery cart math, and soit was like once a week we'd go
to the grocery store near us andduring the day, nobody's.
There was a small littlegrocery store, so I knew that
the kids could just kind of goanywhere and do whatever the
(25:16):
task was.
You know, find, find items thatare less than a dollar.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Oh my God, how fun.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I can't imagine my two terrorizing this grocery
store.
Oh yeah, I would take over thegrocery store with my three, and
then I brought in anotherfamily who brought her four, and
so it was just bananas, buteverybody loved it, raved about
what we were doing, that is socute, so you do find something
under a dollar.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
What were some of the other things?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You know it was about size.
You need to find things thatcome in a gallon or a quart or a
pint, and so we're looking atounces on the containers and
we're comparing them.
We might even be you know what,what, and then we would go to
like a pound, but we mightcompare them If you were to get
two pints or one quart, whichwould cost less.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Type of I love that Because you're doing the, which
would cost less, but you couldalso do which would equal.
You know, would this equal theother, which would be bigger,
which would have more volume init, more liquid?
Right, I love this.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I'm trying to think of a small grocery store.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
We have other stores.
It might not be a grocery storehere, but we have the, even
kids.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You can just go up and down the aisles and you can
even just like help them, like.
Well, if we're looking atounces, we're probably looking
at liquids.
If we're looking at pounds, youknow we might be looking at a
solid or a box something youknow but you know ounces are
still on a lot of those boxesand a lot of those other
packaging.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yeah, I bet you adults don't even know that's a
whole other thing.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
You know that we're not just learning about math
anymore, we're learning about,you know, ounces and weight
measurements, which I mean, ofcourse it's still math, but yeah
, but it's science, it'sdifferent parts of it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yes, and that's one of the things cause I'm I'm
putting together an ebook rightnow on like things that I've
learned from all the people thatI've interviewed.
What are the overarching themesof this?
What are the things that stickout?
That has been one of them.
How, in homeschool, subjectsblend so easily.
That's part of the reason whythey're in school for six hours
(27:21):
or more and you only need to dohomeschool for maybe an hour.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
You know give or take , but you know because you can
learn things like math andscience and history and writing
and art, and it's so easy to andit's better to even learn that
way because they have thatconnection between everything
and just make it easier for youas the parent but also more
(27:45):
interesting and fun for them.
But like to kind of keep goingwith that one subject like, or
that one topic is what I mean.
So if you're talking about, youknow, the Revolutionary War
because we've been doing thatthis year, you know we might
watch a video on it becausethere's a great show, liberty's
Kids, that covers them at a.
They're just, they'reabsolutely wonderful.
(28:06):
So they get to watch a video.
But maybe we'll read a book thattalks about the clothing of the
Revolutionary War, and so wetalk about what they wore, how
they got their goods and thefact that they had to make them
back them.
How did they have to make them?
And we can write about that too.
What was the most interestingthing that you learned?
And so you are crossing thesubjects constantly and you
(28:30):
really haven't changed thesubject at all.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yeah, I'm trying to think back to my history class
and maybe why I was so terribleat history.
I don't remember them making melike write anything about it or
do any projects.
It was just like like theprojects would be more science
class and the writing would bemore your writing class.
And you know reading wasseparate.
But yeah, and maybe that's whynone of it ever stick and that's
(28:54):
why the only thing I know aboutthe revolutionary war is what I
learned in Hamilton.
So that was probably a biasedliberal side anyway.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I mean mean, I remember just doing like in my
school we were able to do someof those special projects.
I remember it was like I don'teven know what it was called
that day, but like we wentoutside and we cooked on fire
with like cast iron, like, andyou were encouraged to dress up
and the teachers did and and itwas.
(29:25):
I remember that you know andyou remember those things that
you did that were hands on, thatwas an experience, not just a
lecture or busy work.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, and I haven't done stuff like that with my son
.
He's six, He'll be seven soon.
I almost am like well, one, Idon't feel super creative.
Two, I'm like I don't want todo all this stuff and then have
them forget it and have to redoit again in three years.
But I do have a love of historythat I, like I never knew I had
and just learning this, I thinkwe're just learning more, like
(29:57):
in the world around us and likethe books that we get from the
library and I'll select thebooks and have them.
Or like I'll go on Read AloudRevival what's her name?
Sarah McKenzie?
So she does read aloud revivaland she's got all these book
lists and I'll order the booksfrom the book list through my
library's app to come to thelibrary, go pick them up.
(30:18):
So they're all there waitingfor me and you know I'll keep.
I'll get like sometimes 30 at atime and just keep them for a
month, and sometimes they're onthemes, like you know,
springtime or a holiday orsomething.
So that's been cool.
I've learned a lot abouthistory just through, or like,
the Tuttle Twins books.
Oh my god, the history Learnedway more.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
That's how I saw you and what you're doing.
Because I had seen the TuttleTwins ad, because I have the
book series.
My kids have watched the TuttleTwins show and we have, like I
think, some other like kind ofcomic book thing from them as
well, and I, you know what.
That's the one email that Iactually read every time it
comes through.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I agree with you.
I read them too, and I don'tread anybody else, but I always
learn something about governmentand what's going on in the
world.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yes, and they've really helped us, even as adults
, to really break down thatinformation so that we can be
more empowered and more inunderstanding of what's really
happening and what that stuffmeans, because you know, you
don't ever feel like you werereally taught all of that, some
of it maybe, but not all of it.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Well, when I had Connor Boyack, who wrote the
Tuttle Twins on my show, youknow he said it perfectly.
He was like you, send them to agovernment school that's paid
for with government money,taught by government employees,
why would they teach youanything else other than
government is the solution foreverything?
Right, right, they're biased.
I mean it makes so much senseLike, yeah, all right, that
makes sense and yeah, thingsthat you just wouldn't even
(31:51):
think to question.
I never questioned this stuffbefore and, like I said earlier
on, I didn't even know I had theauthority to question it.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
They kind of dumb us down in society to feel like
you're just mom, you don'treally know Right, or they just,
you know, kind of make you justfeel like, well, you should
just kind of do what everybodyelse is doing, and I'm like,
yeah, you know, my husband and Idon't really do that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
So what has been some of the pushback?
Have you had any from familymembers or friends since you
decided to homeschool For themost?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
part.
It's been like my husband'sfamily.
They're full of teachers and sowe still get it today where
it's.
You know well, you know whatschool district are you in?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tcare, like I didn't move here
for a school district, I movedhere for my property.
Like I don't, you know, I haveno intention of sending them
back, or just you know well howare they doing in school.
(32:52):
So it's like you always justfeel like maybe they're trying
to interrogate you.
But we've been.
You know, this is our fourthyear that we're completing and I
think at this rate they aregetting more on board.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
You know, and it's like even helpful, like I had my
mother-in-law.
She had to take the kids whilewe were moving and I'm like we
still need to do school.
So here it is.
I like gave her all the things.
This is what we need to do.
She did that and more, whichwas helpful to me.
I'm like thank you.
I didn't have the time to dothis, you know, and I've had to
(33:19):
repeatedly explain to them whyand open their eyes a little bit
to what's really going on,because you don't have children
in the system.
Yeah, you haven't been a partof the public school system in a
long time, but things aredifferent now and I grew up in
public school, so I was abeliever, was going to send them
, you know, no big deal.
(33:40):
But things change and you haveto do right by your kids.
I had some friends to who werejust like, well, just send them
back to school if you're so, youknow, stressed out about it.
I'm like I can't do that, likeI can't do that and like my, my
right mind, send them back.
I don't believe in it anymore.
Yeah, and even my kids now theydon't believe in it either, you
(34:02):
know, they know that they don'thave to sit in school for six
hours a day.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Have you tried the Tuttle Twins books with your
kids yet?
We love them.
In our home, my son plays theaudio book and follows along in
his book.
It lets me get things donewhile we're homeschooling
without missing a beat in hiseducation.
The stories bring history,economics and freedom alive in a
way kids really connect with.
Check out the link in thisepisode's description and use
code Cheryl15 to get 15% offyour order.
Teach your kids about whyindependence matters, why
(34:32):
freedom is worth protecting andto always stay curious.
So you said that your daughterwent to school for about three
months and you pulled her outbecause of not meeting her where
her needs were.
But how did she do sociallywith the kids?
Did she like going to school?
Does she have any issues withhow they treated her?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Actually the reason that she stopped going is
because she was having panicattacks and she refused to go
back.
So then I had had wanted to,she wanted to go and she was
fine with children who were likeher.
There were two other childrenthat she gravitated towards and
they were in her therapy classes, the best friend that she had
(35:16):
had since she was four.
They were no longer liketalking, they were in the same
school and they didn't even gettogether anymore.
She gravitated toneurodivergent children like
herself, and so we didn't reallysocialize all that well, even
though she was in a social grouptherapy class.
It just seemed kind of silly,like she's not really, you know,
(35:38):
progressing in that area.
We're really just allowing herto stay where she is and to kind
of be more childish where she's.
You know, getting older we needto be, you know, more advanced
and do better.
I mean, she was never reallypicked on, as far as we know
that these kids knew her sinceshe was four, so that was always
(36:01):
a blessing, you know, andthey'll still, they'll see her
out and they are like hey, haley, hey, haley's mom, and they're
just excited to see her.
She's loved dearly, but she isa very picky person when it
comes to who she spends her timewith and that's who she would
choose children like herself,and I understand that and that's
(36:23):
fine.
We need to learn how to be alittle bit more grown up.
We are getting older, we arechanging and we need to kind of
get on board with that insteadof reverting back to baby
behavior.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, because it's easier and yeah, it is hard, and
I think that it's so easy tothrow your hands up and say, all
right, just go into the schooldistrict where they know what
they're doing and let themhandle it.
But when you homeschool, what'sbeen probably one of the
biggest challenges for me isbeing there to watch my kids
interact with others, orparticularly my son, because, I
(37:00):
don't know, you don't have tothink about it when you're at
work and your kids are at school.
Like I didn't remember thinkingabout it when he was in daycare
, but he was so young too.
But, um, now that I'm there forall of the group things that we
do the co-ops or the playgroups or whatever I just have
noticed over the years that, wow, he really has a tendency to
either he needs to be the onethat everybody gravitates to or
(37:22):
he goes off on his own.
Like there's rarely that inbetween where I can just be part
of the group and I don't haveto be the lead guy, and if I'm
not the lead guy, I'm going togo off on my own, or with
younger kids and I for a while Imean I would be like all right,
what's going on how come you'regoing, you're leaving the kids
and I get it now Like he doesn'thave to be with the kids his
(37:45):
age because that is silly, hecan be with the.
But what you were saying strucka chord with me because I'm
like, oh yeah, I've seen my sonleave multiple groups with kids
his age to go be with the littlekids because he's the authority
to them.
It's not like a challenge forwho's the alpha?
You know he's the alpha becausehe's the older one.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So it's been interesting that I noticed that
too a little bit with Haley.
Well, she loves babies, sheloves little people, she wants
to teach them things and so,honestly, she's probably going
to have a life in childcare andbeing almost 12, it's good to
(38:28):
know that now and that mightjust be her life path as she
gets older and we can helpfacilitate that.
You know, I watch my nephewonce a week or twice a week
right now and he just turned one.
She loves being with him, lovesholding him and doing all the
stuff with him, and she doesn'tlove kids.
(38:51):
Her own age for the most part,but maybe just a little bit
younger than her.
So she has chosen a few peoplewho are just maybe a year or two
younger than her.
But that makes sense, for whereshe is she is probably closer
to where they are in her mind.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, and to go back to before too, like teaching her
you know on the fifth gradelevel, or you know third grade
level, or whatever it's likesometimes their brain just needs
more time to be able to connectthose synapses, exactly right.
Yeah, it's silly to think thateverybody should learn the exact
(39:32):
same thing the exact same wayat the exact same time in their
life and that at 18, you need tohave known X, y and Z in order
for you to take the next step inyour life, because now that
I've quit my government job andI'm learning more home with my
kids or doing the podcast orwhatever, than I ever did in
school and college or sitting ina cubicle doing government work
(39:52):
, yeah, yeah, we have theability to do that, to learn all
those things, and we'relearning them to help our
children.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
But then I'm like, oh my goodness, you guys notice
this and I'll just rattle onabout how cool and interesting
and how this makes sense and howthis connects to that, and
they're like, oh my goodness,and they get really excited too,
right alongside me.
And so that's happened actuallya lot with the total twin show.
I was constantly pausing it toexplain and they're like, stop
(40:20):
it, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
It relates to everything.
I love the title.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I'm like oh my gosh, that makes so much sense now.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Like this is why do you understand?
Yes, we needed there.
They like take these conceptsand bring up, like dumb them
down for the people who werepublicly educated.
So it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Yeah, yeah.
There's so much that my husbandand I learned by watching those
.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, and their book series the Age 5 Through 11, is
awesome too.
I'll put a link and a couponcode in the show's description
so people can you know, go lookat the link, grab the or click
on the link, look at their siteand use the code if you want 15%
off.
But yeah, I love their stuff.
I bought their stuff actuallybefore I started kind of being
(41:05):
an affiliate for them.
So it sucks, I didn't, I didn'tuse any discount codes, but I
just loved reading that stuffand, like you were saying, it
was more for me at the timebecause my son was little.
But I was like, wow, I didn'tknow, this is how the Federal
Reserve works.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Right, and we would read them for story time at
night and you know it would takeus a couple of days to get
through it, but it covered ourpatriotism and our citizenship.
Check mark on our reports.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Yes, that we need in New York state.
Oh my God, I love that.
Though, when I read that on theHSLDA website that we need to
do patriotism and citizenship,I'm like I'm pretty sure they're
learning anti-patriotism inschool.
So what is this about?
They're holding thehomeschoolers to a higher
standard, but that's all right.
Oh, that's great.
So any like as we close up,last, like things that you
(41:57):
wanted to make sure you know,told people or words of
encouragement, or even like bitsof I don't know.
Just, I know that people alwaysask me about homeschooling kids
who are autistic or on thespectrum and is there helpful
pointers?
So anything you have that youcan give them from your toolbox.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I don't know.
One of the biggest things youknow is we know our children the
best.
No one is as invested in ourchildren as we are.
So it you know it's anempowering thing because you
know you're the safe place theyare going to come home from.
You know public school andmaybe completely lose it because
(42:39):
you are their safe place.
And who?
Who is better than the geneticmakeup that made that child to
teach that child?
Not necessarily someone who'sfresh out of college who doesn't
know anything about autistickids.
I even had a English teacherwho was homeschooled himself.
(43:01):
He didn't know a thing aboutautistic children and so he just
wouldn't really know what to doto teach my child.
And so you know we are the bestequipped people and we care the
most.
No one is going to love themand care about them and invest
in them and have to look at whattheir future might be.
(43:25):
We're the ones who have tofigure all of that out and make
the best decision for them, andif that means we have to go back
a grade or three, like I have,do what's right for them,
because one of the statisticsthat I had read about was I
think it was only 6% of autisticchildren live in successfully
(43:49):
independently from their parents.
As an adult, really and thatwas a statistic I wasn't
allowing my daughter to becomeRight, wow, I think that they
get given up on, they get pushedaside.
You know what?
They're just not going to getthere and that's crap.
They can if they're given theright tools, if they're learning
(44:11):
in the way that they learn.
You have the tools.
There's a million tools, and Imean Pinterest is a phenomenal
resource and YouTube as well andI know that that sounds silly,
you know you're you're takingthem to.
You know YouTube and Pinterest,but I mean there's so many
other parents just like us whohave figured it out, have
(44:34):
figured out at least a multitudeof different options, and you
can pick and choose based onyour child's interests, or do a
unit study and something thatthey're really interested in,
because they can hyper-focus onsomething, which is one of those
wonderful things that childrenon the spectrum can do, is
hyper-focus.
My daughter was obsessed withtrains for two years and I mean
(44:57):
it got really tiresome here, butshe loved it, and so why not
take trains and teach all of thesubjects?
Speaker 1 (45:06):
And it's so easy.
Now you can go on to ChatGPT.
I did it earlier today and youcan say I have a 12 year old
daughter with autism.
She likes, you know, dirt,getting her moving, kinetics,
kinesthetics, kinesthetickinesthetic, yeah, and kinetic
sand, you know, and we.
(45:27):
She loves trains and I want toincorporate math, science,
reading, history.
Um, all of that I want to do itfor one hour a day, three times
a week for four weeks.
Can you create a unit study forme and it will spit it out for
you?
You can ask for please includelibrary books.
I can get from the libraryvideos on YouTube or other
(45:48):
places, documentaries on thesubject, and you can say, like,
the subject needs to be trainsor the subject needs to be the
history of the state of New Yorkor volcanoes.
It can be anything your kid isinto and it can go into the
history and from the history youcan even branch out into like,
okay, well, who was living thereduring?
You know this time, or that youknow it branches, but it's
(46:10):
relevant.
Like you said before, itrelates to something they want
to learn about.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Right Cause I mean, most of the time they're just
learning something that'sarbitrary to them.
I don't understand.
Why do I need to know this?
What does this have to do withanything?
And making it make sense is akey to getting them interested
in it.
And when they're interested insomething then they're going to
learn about it.
And that even helped with mydaughter's reading.
(46:36):
She found it's one book thatshe liked and that helped her
continue to read On her own moreof an easier chapter book.
But I mean I will take it.
I will even take those Robloxbooks that got awful to read.
I can't stand them, but shelikes them and she's reading and
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
Yes, oh, I love it.
Wendy said you had so many bitsof inspiration in there.
I am going to have a hell of atime trying to make reels and
stuff for social media for thatCause there's so much.
It was so good.
Um, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
This has been wonderful andit's been so nice reconnecting
with you.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode of the homeschool
(47:19):
how to.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
(47:41):
generation.
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region?
And should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome, and with us today Ihave Wendy from New York.
Wendy, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm good.
Thanks, cheryl, how are you?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
So we know each other and you don't live in my area
in New York any longer, but youused to take my Zumba class.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
That's right, my first Zumba class.
And you're the reason I stilltoday love Zumba.
It's my preferred way ofexercising, because it's just
absolutely fun.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
It's so fun and I just got done teaching a class,
so it's so funny that I wasthinking about you during the
class while I was teaching andI'm like, geez, when did Wendy
take my class?
Cause I've been teaching at theschool down the road for me for
like 10 years and you were yeah, well, you weren't you at, like
, the vent fitness gym?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, yeah, and that was after my first child, so
yeah, that was like a decade ago.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's so cool that you reached out to say that you
homeschool as well, which it'slike there are a lot of
homeschoolers in New York, but Inobody from like the world that
I lived in before I kind ofwoke up to reality none of those
people like homeschool or youknow, live that kind of
lifestyle.
So it's so funny to hear peoplefrom my past that are like yes,
(01:45):
I'm, I'm on this path too.
Where did you even did you knowyou wanted to homeschool from
the beginning.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
No, actually I was the opposite.
I was never going to homeschool.
I was very adamant that Ididn't want to be my child's
everything, but after thepandemic it was 21.
So my kids actually went toschool the year after and it was
like a month into the schoolyear the following year and I
was like I'm out, like I can'tdo this anymore.
(02:13):
It's, it doesn't make sense forus, um, and it's not really
working for all of us, and I hadsome trust issues as well.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay, Interesting so they.
How old are your kids and howmany do you have?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Now, my oldest is going to be 12 this August, my
twins are eight and we'reactually expecting our fourth in
January.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Congratulations.
Thank you, that's so exciting.
Oh, so you got a 12 year oldand a baby.
That's fun.
Yeah, it's going to be wild,yes, but that's so fun.
I love it, cause, yeah,homeschoolers just you're
supposed to have lots of kids,right?
I like Exactly you know what?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Let's just go for it.
You know, I just turned 40 inFebruary, so I'm like it's now
or?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
never.
I'm exactly one year older thanyou.
I turned 41 in February and wehave like the one month where,
cause, I'm trying to like notput a lot of toxins in my body
anymore.
I did a lot of damage the first40 years and but we had one
month where we like had a scareand I'm like, oh, we got to
figure something out.
I don't think I can do a third.
(03:18):
They're a lot, but I love them.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
They are.
I mean, we had twins and thatwas bananas.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Oh, that's fun though , and so okay.
So your daughter was abouteight when COVID happened and
you or seven or eight and youwere like thinking this was nuts
.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
She was six and she was in first grade, and it
wasn't until about two yearslater, I think, that I pulled
them out.
So yeah, she was eight by thetime I decided to homeschool.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
What was it?
You said trust issues.
What was this kind of centeredaround?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I mean I wasn't a huge fan of the COVID shot being
pushed on children and hearingthat some teachers in certain
districts not necessarily minewere giving it to children
without their parental consentwhat, yeah, so that was.
That was just kind of one part,but I had toyed with the idea
because my oldest is autisticand I knew where she was in
(04:13):
school and she wasn't likekeeping up and I didn't feel
like it was working for her.
She's not the kid who can sitstill all day long and just kind
of do what she's told.
She needs movement and a lot ofit, um, and so homeschooling
really allows us to work around.
Her needs, um, and all of ourshonestly.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yes, are your twins.
Are they both boys?
No, I have all girls.
So far, okay, and you don'tknow for the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
We don't know yet for the little one.
Yeah, okay, okay, and you don'tknow for the next one, we don't
know yet.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
For the little one.
Yeah, okay, all right, so wehave old girls.
So, yes, this is interestingbecause I once I kind of like my
son, I gave him everything onthe CDC schedule and all that
stuff, um, never thought twiceabout it.
And then with the COVID, Istarted, you know, watching the
high wire with Dell big tree andlike, oh, they're putting that
in the COVID shot and oh, that'show little they've actually
(05:06):
studied the safety.
Yeah, no, we're not gettingthat.
And then they kind of woulddelve into the other ones and
I'm like, wait a minute, is thisstuff?
Parents, like, do I have theauthority to question this?
And it's so weird that wereally they kind of make us like
think we're not even able to.
But so this was one of thefears I had, I think the first
(05:26):
episode.
I talked about the fears ofhomeschooling, but then also my
fears on sending them totraditional school, and one of
my fears was like I am worriedthat they're going to inject
them with something, whether itbe a flu shot that I no longer
want them to have, or the COVIDshot or anything else, that
they're going to take thoseliberties at school, in the
nurse's office or wherever.
Maybe they have a truck, pullup to the school and trust that
(05:49):
my kids are going to come backthe way I sent them.
That was, you know, and I feltcrazy actually thinking that way
.
I'm like am I nuts?
Have I dropped off the deep end?
But now that you're saying it,you have validated me so much.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yes, I mean, I mean having to have that conversation
with your eight-year-old andyour four-year-olds.
Don't let anyone do anythingwith a vaccine.
Don't let them.
I should be there if you are toreceive anything, Because even
the flu shot you had to be therewith your kid in order for them
to receive it at the school.
(06:25):
But when I get that kind ofinformation, I'm like, yeah, I
have trust issues now, and evenmore so as the political and
social climate has changed andhow we've opened up on this
whole gender identity thing inpublic schools.
I know for certain that mychild would have been a target
(06:46):
and we would have.
We would not be the family thatwe are because we would be
fighting just to keep her hereand keep our parental rights.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yes, and that's another thing.
I don't feel like I talk aboutit a lot on the show, but I have
a lot of opinions about it.
I mean, I know that the agendabehind this is to get our kids
on pharmaceuticals for the restof their life and they want to
depopulation.
They want to depopulate there.
They literally tell you on TEDTalks and the World Economic
Forum they're telling you theworld's overpopulated.
(07:17):
We have to bring it down 15percent.
You know Bill Gates is on videosaying it, so we know that they
think there's too many of us.
And then all of a sudden nowthey want to give our little
ones things that would make themnot be able to procreate later
on.
And just if they're onpharmaceuticals for the rest of
their life, I mean you kind ofhave to be if you're gender
transforming, you know I wouldimagine you got to block
(07:40):
hormones and estrogen andwhatever for the rest of your
life.
So there is a customer for therest of their lives and it's
like would anybody really dothat?
But yeah, they would.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, unfortunately, we kind of have to believe
almost everything these days,you know, because, I mean,
things have just been bogglingyour mind Like is that really
happening?
Actually it is happening, youknow, and I didn't want to get
into a situation where mydaughter would say, you know, I
want to be a boy and so I didn'twant to be lied to, deceived,
things to be kept from usbecause we are her parents, we
(08:15):
are ultimately in charge of heruntil she becomes an adult and
is in charge of herself, and Idon't trust that people would be
honest with us.
I mean, I sent her to schoolfor therapies like the year
after.
It was like fourth grade, andthe first question out of her
speech therapist mouth was whatdoes your daughter, what does
(08:36):
she identify as?
And I was like I don'tunderstand.
She is a girl, like no, I knowthat she might like being a boy,
but it's like it's called beinga tomboy and we've lost that
term over the past few years andit is still a thing.
She can dress however she likes.
She dresses the way that shedoes because she has sensory
(08:56):
needs, and so we don't like girlclothes because they're cut too
close to the body.
And so when she was six, Icould barely keep clothes on
this child and she was likenaked in the backyard for the
whole summer.
Like you're at least youngenough to do this now.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
So let's figure out what those clothes are.
And it was just boy clothesstuff that was boxier, cut
farther away Instead ofinteresting, yeah, and so it
took some time and her hair wasalso a sensory issue and so that
was cut off.
She only started growing itback out over the past like year
or so, because she wants braidsnow.
(09:32):
But you know it's a physicalpain for her and so after a
while we just stopped fightingthose things because they're
trivial, they're clothes,they're hair.
Hair grows back.
Maybe you like to wear girlclothes another time, but who
cares?
If you don't Be comfortable Bewho you are, that doesn't mean
you have to change anythingabout your body.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Right To chop something off, add something to
it or take a chemical to changewhat's going on?
physiologically inside, right,yeah, and I think about this.
Like the teachers, I feel likethey're, they feel that they are
coming from a good place.
Like the teachers don't feellike I'm going to get another
one and, you know, put this oneon the tally marks.
(10:14):
Like they feel like, oh, theyjust, the parents just don't
understand, Like the old WillSmith song or something from the
nineties, so they can come tome, but they don't see the world
the way that we do with.
No, they're targeting theirpharmaceutical industries are
targeting the kids to makelifelong customers and you're
(10:34):
stepping in and aiding thepharmaceutical industry.
That has already proved to usthat they are liars and
manipulators and will doanything to make a dollar.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And trying to keep our parental rights from us,
which we are 100% entitled to.
That's my kid.
I get to make those decisionsfor the greater good, for her
well-being, until she's oldenough and wise enough to make
those decisions on her own.
She chooses to do somethingabout that when she's 18, she'll
(11:04):
be an adult, not a child andpre pubescent child at the time
Right, and even I experienced itwith my son when he was four.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We sent him to a private preschool.
It was only like a couple oftimes a week, but they would put
hand sanitizer on them everytime they entered the school and
I would tell my son, I toldthem I don't want hand sanitizer
on his hands.
If his hands are dirty, justsend him to the bathroom to wash
them.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Water is better than anything.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, they're putting a chemical right on your
child's hands so it's seeping in, it's getting into their
bloodstream and I didn't want iton him.
He was four, three or four andum, so they were doing it anyway
and he had to tell me, at fouryears old, mom, they're still
making me put hand sanitizer onmy hands, and yeah, so I had to
say to them again.
They were like well, is it anallergy?
(11:52):
You know it's.
It's again the parental rights.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Right, and you know I had.
You know my child at a youngerage wasn't very open and verbal.
I mean she didn't really speaka lot until she was almost four,
you know three, four.
She was in speech therapy atthree years old but you know I
wouldn't get any information outof her when she went to school,
like how was your day, what didyou do today, I learned like
(12:18):
that was all I would get fromher.
So it was, you know, even moreof a trust issue because I can't
get any information out of thischild and so I'm just trusting
that you guys are doing a goodjob for her at blindly trusting
and after a while I'm like no, Ican't do that anymore.
I need to know what's going on.
(12:38):
And you know I probably becamea little bit of a nuisance to
her special ed teachers.
You know you're going tocommunicate with me and like
regularly, yeah, so like everysingle day.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
How has homeschooling her?
What have you done to makelearning easier for her?
Like I know, there are probablyparents listening that are like
, oh I, I couldn't homeschool mychild because they have autism
or because they're on thespectrum, so therefore let me
let the professionals handle it.
They're better equipped than Iam and I know, just like you're
(13:11):
nodding your head, that's farfrom the truth.
What have you done to help herlearn in a way that the school
can't offer?
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, we had a really good example.
She went back to school infifth grade.
She wanted to and she was verymuch struggling at home, and so
I allowed her to go back for acouple of months.
I allowed her to go back.
It only lasted a couple ofmonths, but you know, she was in
fifth grade and in a fifthgrade math class when she was
really more like first or secondgrade math, because they really
(13:39):
didn't cover it or make surethat she had mastered the
fundamentals back during COVIDand the year after COVID,
because that was her first andsecond grade years.
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(14:12):
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Speaker 2 (14:23):
And I even told this to them at her progress report
in November.
She went in September and shewas out basically after
Thanksgiving and at her progressreport with her teachers I told
them I said you are limited.
I said I am not.
I can do whatever I want.
I said so if I need to go backand master those fundamentals, I
(14:45):
will, and I did, you know, overthe past couple of years.
And, yeah, she was in fifthgrade with you know a barely a
second grade math and she's infifth grade math.
So she is feeling stupid andshe's writing on her papers.
I am bad at math, I am notsmart.
Nobody talks to me about this,I just see it on the papers that
(15:07):
come home from school and thatbothered me.
So you know I can do what Ineed to do to meet her where she
truly is and adjust ourcurriculum, adjust how I teach,
what I teach, just how I teachwhat I teach, what we use as our
resources in order to help heralong, not let her sit and
(15:31):
flounder and feel worse andworse about herself.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, and I wonder how many kids in the class were
just like her and it was likebut this is the curriculum this
year, so we're rolling with it,no child left behind.
You all have to pass this oneway or another.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I mean the truth is is that I talked to her special
ed team a couple of times andthey're just telling me, even
though she has an IEP, thatthere's not enough room in the
remedial math class for her.
There's already too manychildren in that class to make
room for a autistic child whoneeds that help also.
(16:11):
And I thought, well, that'scrap.
You make room, you figure thatout.
But also now we're notfollowing her IEP, which, in my
opinion and as far as myunderstanding goes, is against
all of the rules and the laws.
With special education childrenthey're supposed to do that.
(16:33):
And then I just get you knowcrap answers Like there's not
enough room and I'm like youcannot seriously leave her in
fifth grade math.
She can't do it, yeah, norshould should she.
She needs to go backwardsbecause you guys didn't make
sure that she had it and, yes, Ihad her for third and fourth
grade and I missed it too.
I was trying to just kind ofpick her up where I thought she
(16:55):
was, but that's not where shewas.
So we've had to go back andeven this year, as a sixth
grader she we had to go and do awhole unit on subtraction just
so that we had that fundamentals, but we did it in eight weeks
and then we did multiplicationand we're going to finish next
(17:16):
week.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That brings up pretty much like what I'm doing with
my son right now, because he'stechnically should be ending his
first grade year if he were inthe traditional school.
But we've jumped around alittle bit for reading because
you know, I tried all aboutreading with the pre-reading for
the kindergarten year and heliked that.
But I wanted to see what othercurriculums were like.
(17:38):
So you know, I picked up the Ithink it was teach your child to
read in 100 easy lessons andthen I mixed that with something
else and the first 50 lessonswere great.
But then he got to lesson 50and it was like Mount Everest
for him.
So I took a break.
We did just kind of like I justread to him.
Then we picked it back up fromlesson one the minute he got to
(18:01):
lesson 50 again, it was just theparagraphs were so long and it
was just really hard for him andI was like, okay, I can't make
him struggle with this becausehe's just not going to enjoy
reading ever.
So I asked around for some tips,some pointers.
We tried a few different things.
I ended up landing on wherehe's working right now, on
Reading Horizons.
I think one of my guests,natalie recommended Reading
(18:24):
Horizons and it is online but Imean he kind of likes that.
I feel like he.
He feels like he's gotownership of it, he's got agency
there, it has some games in it,it has lessons and it's
teaching him the fundamentals.
But I started him at thekindergarten level and this was
a few months ago.
So he was like, technically,all his friends in school would
be finishing up their firstgrade year and he was starting.
(18:45):
I started him at kindergarten.
I was like I'm sorry but I, ifit's easy, you'll go through it
really fast.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And if it's not easy On those skills from there
because, starting farther backbecause I did the same thing I
went back to like first gradeCause I'm like we're like still
counting on our fingers and weshould be farther than this, and
so I went all the way back justto make sure that we could have
a little confidence in what wewere doing and feel good about
(19:13):
ourselves and yes, I can, I knowthat and build from there.
And math is still a struggle.
Reading is a struggle, butthat's a uh, also a vision thing
for her as well.
She's had glasses since she wasthree as well, so you can't
push it, because then she's justpushing back instead of just
kind of finding that happymedium of where I can teach her
(19:35):
and she's learning and we're notflipping out and having
meltdowns all the time, eitherone of us.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Have you found ways to mitigate that?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I have to pick and choose my curriculum.
It can't be overly wordy,overly cumbersome.
It kind of has to get right tothe point.
And I'm at a point now that I'mpiecemealing our entire
curriculum.
I am on Pinterest all the timelooking for just different
lessons and different games.
(20:08):
I will reach out to anotherhomeschool mom who is actually a
former teacher.
She's got four boys and one ofthem is also autistic and I'm
like, please help me with aresource that will work when it
comes to this math, because I'mlike we're not making any
headway to this math.
Because, like I'm like we'renot making any headway.
(20:28):
And she recommended Kate Snowand what was it?
Subtraction, facts that stick.
They also have addition,multiplication, division, and
then she has a whole bunch ofother like curriculum math.
Math with confidence, I think,is what it is and that's been
working.
I picked up subtraction andmultiplication and, like I said,
we're almost done and next yearwe get to do division.
(20:50):
Okay, so just building blocks,building upon what she already
knows, so that way we areconfident and we can move on to
the other things, becausewithout those fundamentals she's
just going to struggle for therest of her life Right.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And how long did it take you?
You said you started back atlike first grade.
How long did it take you to getto where?
What level are you at now?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We're closing in more on fourth.
Um, I've been more focused onkey areas, that key areas of
struggle, key areas that sheneeds to work on.
I'll Google it.
You know, google what does athird grader need to know?
And it just spits out all thatinformation and I'm like I'll
(21:33):
write all that down and thenwe'll just start kind of
chipping away at thatinformation.
But, yeah, we're, we're closerto fourth grade because it took
us last year.
It took us like we had to dolike not all first grade, but we
had to do a good portion of itand second grade, kind of math.
And the twins are in a verysimilar situation.
(21:54):
They're finishing up secondgrade right now.
So I can kind of do a lottogether.
You know, and with a child whois on the autism spectrum, you
have to understand that theirbrain works differently and they
probably won't be at the samelevel as their peers and that
there's nothing wrong.
That's just how their brainswork and they learn.
(22:17):
They usually learn differently.
So, making it more fun, moreplay, so games work nicely, but
a kinesthetic way of learning isalso helpful.
Having that hands-on abilityhelps them learn in a very
multisensory way.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
So what have been some of the tactics that you've
used or found that really workedon Pinterest Games?
Like board games, or games thatthey just kind of do up and you
can get home with what you have.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, they just kind of do them up or I replicate
them, even like spelling.
We are atrocious with that, andso this year I was
hyper-focusing on math andspelling, cause it was just bad.
So I found that crazy.
Spelling was something I foundon Pinterest.
I recreated it myself and it'sjust you use a dice and whatever
(23:10):
they roll, that's what they getto do for their.
They write down their spellingwords, so it could be like funky
letters, cursive write it threetimes.
There's a few other ones, youknow six different ones.
They loved it.
It was.
They wanted that every day fora while, and so it's just
changing things up too, so thatwe're not getting bored, because
(23:33):
she's also ADHD, so we getbored with things, and so we
just need things to be a littlebit more exciting and make sense
in real life.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
That's key.
That's key to make it relate tosomething in their world Right.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Because if you just spit, spit, yeah, on pizza for
years and it did it again when Imade pizza this past week I I'm
like what you know, what isthis and what you know?
If I cut it like this, what,what are they now?
And cut it like this, and you,what are they now?
And I cut it like this, and youknow, and she's really starting
to grasp it because it makessense.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, yes, and I try to do that, like with my son
when he's doing math, you know,and he'll write.
Okay, here's the word problem.
And he just usually knows towrite the first number he hears
and then the second number hehears.
But they'll try to trick himevery now and then to make sure
he's putting the larger numberfirst to subtract.
And I have to turn it into amoney problem and say, ok, so if
(24:30):
you have seven dollars and Itook 13 from you, how's that
going to work?
And then he knows it clicks.
Oh, I have to switch thenumbers around because he's not
into like integers or anythingyet negative.
So you know, I have to put itin terms like money, because
that he'll, he'll get or I'lluse like okay, these screws are
lug nuts for a tire, you knowyeah exactly Right.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
So real life, you know real things that make sense
to them.
Another thing that I've Ipicked up that I didn't finish
this year, um, cause we weredoing it with the family, but um
was grocery cart math, and soit was like once a week we'd go
to the grocery store near us andduring the day, nobody's.
There was a small littlegrocery store, so I knew that
the kids could just kind of goanywhere and do whatever the
(25:16):
task was.
You know, find, find items thatare less than a dollar.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Oh my God, how fun.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I can't imagine my two terrorizing this grocery
store.
Oh yeah, I would take over thegrocery store with my three, and
then I brought in anotherfamily who brought her four, and
so it was just bananas, buteverybody loved it, raved about
what we were doing, that is socute, so you do find something
under a dollar.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
What were some of the other things?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
You know it was about size.
You need to find things thatcome in a gallon or a quart or a
pint, and so we're looking atounces on the containers and
we're comparing them.
We might even be you know what,what, and then we would go to
like a pound, but we mightcompare them If you were to get
two pints or one quart, whichwould cost less.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Type of I love that Because you're doing the, which
would cost less, but you couldalso do which would equal.
You know, would this equal theother, which would be bigger,
which would have more volume init, more liquid?
Right, I love this.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I'm trying to think of a small grocery store.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
We have other stores.
It might not be a grocery storehere, but we have the, even
kids.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You can just go up and down the aisles and you can
even just like help them, like.
Well, if we're looking atounces, we're probably looking
at liquids.
If we're looking at pounds, youknow we might be looking at a
solid or a box something youknow but you know ounces are
still on a lot of those boxesand a lot of those other
packaging.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yeah, I bet you adults don't even know that's a
whole other thing.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
You know that we're not just learning about math
anymore, we're learning about,you know, ounces and weight
measurements, which I mean, ofcourse it's still math, but yeah
, but it's science, it'sdifferent parts of it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yes, and that's one of the things cause I'm I'm
putting together an ebook rightnow on like things that I've
learned from all the people thatI've interviewed.
What are the overarching themesof this?
What are the things that stickout?
That has been one of them.
How, in homeschool, subjectsblend so easily.
That's part of the reason whythey're in school for six hours
(27:21):
or more and you only need to dohomeschool for maybe an hour.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
You know give or take , but you know because you can
learn things like math andscience and history and writing
and art, and it's so easy to andit's better to even learn that
way because they have thatconnection between everything
and just make it easier for youas the parent but also more
(27:45):
interesting and fun for them.
But like to kind of keep goingwith that one subject like, or
that one topic is what I mean.
So if you're talking about, youknow, the Revolutionary War
because we've been doing thatthis year, you know we might
watch a video on it becausethere's a great show, liberty's
Kids, that covers them at a.
They're just, they'reabsolutely wonderful.
(28:06):
So they get to watch a video.
But maybe we'll read a book thattalks about the clothing of the
Revolutionary War, and so wetalk about what they wore, how
they got their goods and thefact that they had to make them
back them.
How did they have to make them?
And we can write about that too.
What was the most interestingthing that you learned?
And so you are crossing thesubjects constantly and you
(28:30):
really haven't changed thesubject at all.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Yeah, I'm trying to think back to my history class
and maybe why I was so terribleat history.
I don't remember them making melike write anything about it or
do any projects.
It was just like like theprojects would be more science
class and the writing would bemore your writing class.
And you know reading wasseparate.
But yeah, and maybe that's whynone of it ever stick and that's
(28:54):
why the only thing I know aboutthe revolutionary war is what I
learned in Hamilton.
So that was probably a biasedliberal side anyway.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I mean mean, I remember just doing like in my
school we were able to do someof those special projects.
I remember it was like I don'teven know what it was called
that day, but like we wentoutside and we cooked on fire
with like cast iron, like, andyou were encouraged to dress up
and the teachers did and and itwas.
(29:25):
I remember that you know andyou remember those things that
you did that were hands on, thatwas an experience, not just a
lecture or busy work.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, and I haven't done stuff like that with my son
.
He's six, He'll be seven soon.
I almost am like well, one, Idon't feel super creative.
Two, I'm like I don't want todo all this stuff and then have
them forget it and have to redoit again in three years.
But I do have a love of historythat I, like I never knew I had
and just learning this, I thinkwe're just learning more, like
(29:57):
in the world around us and likethe books that we get from the
library and I'll select thebooks and have them.
Or like I'll go on Read AloudRevival what's her name?
Sarah McKenzie?
So she does read aloud revivaland she's got all these book
lists and I'll order the booksfrom the book list through my
library's app to come to thelibrary, go pick them up.
(30:18):
So they're all there waitingfor me and you know I'll keep.
I'll get like sometimes 30 at atime and just keep them for a
month, and sometimes they're onthemes, like you know,
springtime or a holiday orsomething.
So that's been cool.
I've learned a lot abouthistory just through, or like,
the Tuttle Twins books.
Oh my god, the history Learnedway more.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
That's how I saw you and what you're doing.
Because I had seen the TuttleTwins ad, because I have the
book series.
My kids have watched the TuttleTwins show and we have, like I
think, some other like kind ofcomic book thing from them as
well, and I, you know what.
That's the one email that Iactually read every time it
comes through.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I agree with you.
I read them too, and I don'tread anybody else, but I always
learn something about governmentand what's going on in the
world.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yes, and they've really helped us, even as adults
, to really break down thatinformation so that we can be
more empowered and more inunderstanding of what's really
happening and what that stuffmeans, because you know, you
don't ever feel like you werereally taught all of that, some
of it maybe, but not all of it.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Well, when I had Connor Boyack, who wrote the
Tuttle Twins on my show, youknow he said it perfectly.
He was like you, send them to agovernment school that's paid
for with government money,taught by government employees,
why would they teach youanything else other than
government is the solution foreverything?
Right, right, they're biased.
I mean it makes so much senseLike, yeah, all right, that
makes sense and yeah, thingsthat you just wouldn't even
(31:51):
think to question.
I never questioned this stuffbefore and, like I said earlier
on, I didn't even know I had theauthority to question it.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
They kind of dumb us down in society to feel like
you're just mom, you don'treally know Right, or they just,
you know, kind of make you justfeel like, well, you should
just kind of do what everybodyelse is doing, and I'm like,
yeah, you know, my husband and Idon't really do that.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
So what has been some of the pushback?
Have you had any from familymembers or friends since you
decided to homeschool For themost?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
part.
It's been like my husband'sfamily.
They're full of teachers and sowe still get it today where
it's.
You know well, you know whatschool district are you in?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tcare, like I didn't move here
for a school district, I movedhere for my property.
Like I don't, you know, I haveno intention of sending them
back, or just you know well howare they doing in school.
(32:52):
So it's like you always justfeel like maybe they're trying
to interrogate you.
But we've been.
You know, this is our fourthyear that we're completing and I
think at this rate they aregetting more on board.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
You know, and it's like even helpful, like I had my
mother-in-law.
She had to take the kids whilewe were moving and I'm like we
still need to do school.
So here it is.
I like gave her all the things.
This is what we need to do.
She did that and more, whichwas helpful to me.
I'm like thank you.
I didn't have the time to dothis, you know, and I've had to
(33:19):
repeatedly explain to them whyand open their eyes a little bit
to what's really going on,because you don't have children
in the system.
Yeah, you haven't been a partof the public school system in a
long time, but things aredifferent now and I grew up in
public school, so I was abeliever, was going to send them
, you know, no big deal.
(33:40):
But things change and you haveto do right by your kids.
I had some friends to who werejust like, well, just send them
back to school if you're so, youknow, stressed out about it.
I'm like I can't do that, likeI can't do that and like my, my
right mind, send them back.
I don't believe in it anymore.
Yeah, and even my kids now theydon't believe in it either, you
(34:02):
know, they know that they don'thave to sit in school for six
hours a day.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Have you tried the Tuttle Twins books with your
kids yet?
We love them.
In our home, my son plays theaudio book and follows along in
his book.
It lets me get things donewhile we're homeschooling
without missing a beat in hiseducation.
The stories bring history,economics and freedom alive in a
way kids really connect with.
Check out the link in thisepisode's description and use
code Cheryl15 to get 15% offyour order.
Teach your kids about whyindependence matters, why
(34:32):
freedom is worth protecting andto always stay curious.
So you said that your daughterwent to school for about three
months and you pulled her outbecause of not meeting her where
her needs were.
But how did she do sociallywith the kids?
Did she like going to school?
Does she have any issues withhow they treated her?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Actually the reason that she stopped going is
because she was having panicattacks and she refused to go
back.
So then I had had wanted to,she wanted to go and she was
fine with children who were likeher.
There were two other childrenthat she gravitated towards and
they were in her therapy classes, the best friend that she had
(35:16):
had since she was four.
They were no longer liketalking, they were in the same
school and they didn't even gettogether anymore.
She gravitated toneurodivergent children like
herself, and so we didn't reallysocialize all that well, even
though she was in a social grouptherapy class.
It just seemed kind of silly,like she's not really, you know,
(35:38):
progressing in that area.
We're really just allowing herto stay where she is and to kind
of be more childish where she's.
You know, getting older we needto be, you know, more advanced
and do better.
I mean, she was never reallypicked on, as far as we know
that these kids knew her sinceshe was four, so that was always
(36:01):
a blessing, you know, andthey'll still, they'll see her
out and they are like hey, haley, hey, haley's mom, and they're
just excited to see her.
She's loved dearly, but she isa very picky person when it
comes to who she spends her timewith and that's who she would
choose children like herself,and I understand that and that's
(36:23):
fine.
We need to learn how to be alittle bit more grown up.
We are getting older, we arechanging and we need to kind of
get on board with that insteadof reverting back to baby
behavior.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, because it's easier and yeah, it is hard, and
I think that it's so easy tothrow your hands up and say, all
right, just go into the schooldistrict where they know what
they're doing and let themhandle it.
But when you homeschool, what'sbeen probably one of the
biggest challenges for me isbeing there to watch my kids
interact with others, orparticularly my son, because, I
(37:00):
don't know, you don't have tothink about it when you're at
work and your kids are at school.
Like I didn't remember thinkingabout it when he was in daycare
, but he was so young too.
But, um, now that I'm there forall of the group things that we
do the co-ops or the playgroups or whatever I just have
noticed over the years that, wow, he really has a tendency to
either he needs to be the onethat everybody gravitates to or
(37:22):
he goes off on his own.
Like there's rarely that inbetween where I can just be part
of the group and I don't haveto be the lead guy, and if I'm
not the lead guy, I'm going togo off on my own, or with
younger kids and I for a while Imean I would be like all right,
what's going on how come you'regoing, you're leaving the kids
and I get it now Like he doesn'thave to be with the kids his
(37:45):
age because that is silly, hecan be with the.
But what you were saying strucka chord with me because I'm
like, oh yeah, I've seen my sonleave multiple groups with kids
his age to go be with the littlekids because he's the authority
to them.
It's not like a challenge forwho's the alpha?
You know he's the alpha becausehe's the older one.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So it's been interesting that I noticed that
too a little bit with Haley.
Well, she loves babies, sheloves little people, she wants
to teach them things and so,honestly, she's probably going
to have a life in childcare andbeing almost 12, it's good to
(38:28):
know that now and that mightjust be her life path as she
gets older and we can helpfacilitate that.
You know, I watch my nephewonce a week or twice a week
right now and he just turned one.
She loves being with him, lovesholding him and doing all the
stuff with him, and she doesn'tlove kids.
(38:51):
Her own age for the most part,but maybe just a little bit
younger than her.
So she has chosen a few peoplewho are just maybe a year or two
younger than her.
But that makes sense, for whereshe is she is probably closer
to where they are in her mind.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, and to go back to before too, like teaching her
you know on the fifth gradelevel, or you know third grade
level, or whatever it's likesometimes their brain just needs
more time to be able to connectthose synapses, exactly right.
Yeah, it's silly to think thateverybody should learn the exact
(39:32):
same thing the exact same wayat the exact same time in their
life and that at 18, you need tohave known X, y and Z in order
for you to take the next step inyour life, because now that
I've quit my government job andI'm learning more home with my
kids or doing the podcast orwhatever, than I ever did in
school and college or sitting ina cubicle doing government work
(39:52):
, yeah, yeah, we have theability to do that, to learn all
those things, and we'relearning them to help our
children.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
But then I'm like, oh my goodness, you guys notice
this and I'll just rattle onabout how cool and interesting
and how this makes sense and howthis connects to that, and
they're like, oh my goodness,and they get really excited too,
right alongside me.
And so that's happened actuallya lot with the total twin show.
I was constantly pausing it toexplain and they're like, stop
(40:20):
it, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
It relates to everything.
I love the title.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I'm like oh my gosh, that makes so much sense now.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Like this is why do you understand?
Yes, we needed there.
They like take these conceptsand bring up, like dumb them
down for the people who werepublicly educated.
So it makes sense.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Yeah, yeah.
There's so much that my husbandand I learned by watching those
.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, and their book series the Age 5 Through 11, is
awesome too.
I'll put a link and a couponcode in the show's description
so people can you know, go lookat the link, grab the or click
on the link, look at their siteand use the code if you want 15%
off.
But yeah, I love their stuff.
I bought their stuff actuallybefore I started kind of being
(41:05):
an affiliate for them.
So it sucks, I didn't, I didn'tuse any discount codes, but I
just loved reading that stuffand, like you were saying, it
was more for me at the timebecause my son was little.
But I was like, wow, I didn'tknow, this is how the Federal
Reserve works.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Right, and we would read them for story time at
night and you know it would takeus a couple of days to get
through it, but it covered ourpatriotism and our citizenship.
Check mark on our reports.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Yes, that we need in New York state.
Oh my God, I love that.
Though, when I read that on theHSLDA website that we need to
do patriotism and citizenship,I'm like I'm pretty sure they're
learning anti-patriotism inschool.
So what is this about?
They're holding thehomeschoolers to a higher
standard, but that's all right.
Oh, that's great.
So any like as we close up,last, like things that you
(41:57):
wanted to make sure you know,told people or words of
encouragement, or even like bitsof I don't know.
Just, I know that people alwaysask me about homeschooling kids
who are autistic or on thespectrum and is there helpful
pointers?
So anything you have that youcan give them from your toolbox.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I don't know.
One of the biggest things youknow is we know our children the
best.
No one is as invested in ourchildren as we are.
So it you know it's anempowering thing because you
know you're the safe place theyare going to come home from.
You know public school andmaybe completely lose it because
(42:39):
you are their safe place.
And who?
Who is better than the geneticmakeup that made that child to
teach that child?
Not necessarily someone who'sfresh out of college who doesn't
know anything about autistickids.
I even had a English teacherwho was homeschooled himself.
(43:01):
He didn't know a thing aboutautistic children and so he just
wouldn't really know what to doto teach my child.
And so you know we are the bestequipped people and we care the
most.
No one is going to love themand care about them and invest
in them and have to look at whattheir future might be.
(43:25):
We're the ones who have tofigure all of that out and make
the best decision for them, andif that means we have to go back
a grade or three, like I have,do what's right for them,
because one of the statisticsthat I had read about was I
think it was only 6% of autisticchildren live in successfully
(43:49):
independently from their parents.
As an adult, really and thatwas a statistic I wasn't
allowing my daughter to becomeRight, wow, I think that they
get given up on, they get pushedaside.
You know what?
They're just not going to getthere and that's crap.
They can if they're given theright tools, if they're learning
(44:11):
in the way that they learn.
You have the tools.
There's a million tools, and Imean Pinterest is a phenomenal
resource and YouTube as well andI know that that sounds silly,
you know you're you're takingthem to.
You know YouTube and Pinterest,but I mean there's so many
other parents just like us whohave figured it out, have
(44:34):
figured out at least a multitudeof different options, and you
can pick and choose based onyour child's interests, or do a
unit study and something thatthey're really interested in,
because they can hyper-focus onsomething, which is one of those
wonderful things that childrenon the spectrum can do, is
hyper-focus.
My daughter was obsessed withtrains for two years and I mean
(44:57):
it got really tiresome here, butshe loved it, and so why not
take trains and teach all of thesubjects?
Speaker 1 (45:06):
And it's so easy.
Now you can go on to ChatGPT.
I did it earlier today and youcan say I have a 12 year old
daughter with autism.
She likes, you know, dirt,getting her moving, kinetics,
kinesthetics, kinesthetickinesthetic, yeah, and kinetic
sand, you know, and we.
(45:27):
She loves trains and I want toincorporate math, science,
reading, history.
Um, all of that I want to do itfor one hour a day, three times
a week for four weeks.
Can you create a unit study forme and it will spit it out for
you?
You can ask for please includelibrary books.
I can get from the libraryvideos on YouTube or other
(45:48):
places, documentaries on thesubject, and you can say, like,
the subject needs to be trainsor the subject needs to be the
history of the state of New Yorkor volcanoes.
It can be anything your kid isinto and it can go into the
history and from the history youcan even branch out into like,
okay, well, who was living thereduring?
You know this time, or that youknow it branches, but it's
(46:10):
relevant.
Like you said before, itrelates to something they want
to learn about.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Right Cause I mean, most of the time they're just
learning something that'sarbitrary to them.
I don't understand.
Why do I need to know this?
What does this have to do withanything?
And making it make sense is akey to getting them interested
in it.
And when they're interested insomething then they're going to
learn about it.
And that even helped with mydaughter's reading.
(46:36):
She found it's one book thatshe liked and that helped her
continue to read On her own moreof an easier chapter book.
But I mean I will take it.
I will even take those Robloxbooks that got awful to read.
I can't stand them, but shelikes them and she's reading and
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
Yes, oh, I love it.
Wendy said you had so many bitsof inspiration in there.
I am going to have a hell of atime trying to make reels and
stuff for social media for thatCause there's so much.
It was so good.
Um, thank you so much forcoming on the show today.
This has been wonderful andit's been so nice reconnecting
with you.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode of the homeschool
(47:19):
how to.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
(47:41):
generation.
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