October 11, 2025 • 51 mins
Ready to see what homeschooling looks like from kindergarten through 12th grade? In this episode, Cheryl interviews CJ, a veteran homeschool mom who's been teaching her three kids at home for over 12 years and is now preparing for her first graduation!
In this episode, you'll discover:
- How to transition from elementary to high school homeschooling with confidence
- Creating transcripts and meeting college requirements without state mandates
- The truth about high school workload and time management
- Finding socialization opportunities through Facebook groups and local resources
- Teaching multiple kids at different grade levels simultaneously
- Career exploration beyond traditional college paths
- Choosing curriculum that fits each child's unique learning style
- Building strong parent-teen relationships during the high school years
- Managing mom guilt and setting realistic expectations
Perfect for:
- Parents considering homeschooling
- Homeschoolers with elementary-aged kids wondering about the future
- Families approaching middle and high school years
- Anyone seeking encouragement from a seasoned homeschool parent
CJ shares practical advice on everything from daily schedules to milestone moments, proving that homeschooling through high school is not only possible but incredibly rewarding. Whether you're just starting out or navigating the teenage years, this conversation offers hope, practical tips, and the reminder to give yourself grace.
Connect with CJ: YouTube & Instagram: @HomeschoolingThroughHighSchool
The Homeschool How To Complete Starter Guide - Thinking about homeschooling but don't know where to start? Cheryl created this comprehensive guide which compiles insights from her interviews with over 120 homeschooling families across the country. From navigating state laws to finding your style to working while homeschooling- this eBook covers it all. Stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling confident. Purchase Here!
Let's Talk, Emergencies!
The most important lessons we can teach our kids aren't reading, writing, and math - they're how to keep themselves and others safe. Cheryl created this essential children's book which covers everything from dialing 911 on a locked cell phone to staying safe online, water safety, fire safety, and more. Let's Talk Emergencies! gives children the knowledge and confidence to handle real-world situations. These are conversations we shouldn't put off. Available on Amazon
Instagram: TheHomeschoolHowToPodcast
Facebook: The Homeschool How To Podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why people are homeschooling?
How do you do it?
How does it differ from regionto region?
And should I homeschool mykids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome.
And with me today, I have CJ,who I've had on my curriculum
podcast before, but now she'shere for the main spotlight.
CJ, welcome.
Hello, thank you for having me.
I'm so glad to get to touchbase with you because I don't
often get to, you know, followup with people and see how
(00:48):
things are still going.
And your story is awesomebecause you've been
homeschooling for years.
You're like, you've got theteens, you've got the yes, kind
of the finished product, so thatyou can give us that like
relaxation that it's all gonnabe okay.
You're not gonna mess them upforever.
Speaker (01:04):
No, no, not at all.
Not at all, not at all.
So, how old are your kids?
How many do you have?
All right, so I have a ninthgrader, she is 14, I have a 10th
grader, and she is uh she'll be16 next month.
And then my 12th grader, mysenior, is 17 and a half.
(01:24):
Oh my goodness.
And how long have you beenhomeschooling?
Uh since my oldest, since mysenior was in kindergarten, so
this whole time.
Yeah, so wow, a long time.
Years and years.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So what made you what made you decide to homeschool
in the first place?
Because it wasn't as popular asit is today.
Did you ever think?
Speaker (01:43):
Yeah, so it began to become very popular when I
started.
Maybe not in the state that Iwas living in, but it was it was
becoming popular.
And I just noticed that therewere a lot of different issues
and things that were coming upin the elementary years that I
did not want my son at the timeto be exposed to.
(02:05):
And I was also with child atthat particular time and
thought, wow, you know, what arewe gonna do about this?
So chatted with my husband whowas homeschooled, but I told him
I would never do this ever.
So don't even think about it.
And just chatting with him andsaid, you know what?
Let's give kindergarten achance, right?
Because I truly feel thatanyone, if they just put their
(02:29):
mind to it, right, and get alittle bit of guidance, they can
start with kindergarten andfirst grade, those younger
years, and they'll be alright.
And so I said, Okay, fine,we'll start with that.
And we just really wanted toshare our morals and our values
and to be the voice in our kids'life.
And so we started out withkindergarten and first grade and
(02:51):
second, and it just kept going.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And then as you had more, you were like, I can't
can't send them away at thispoint.
We're having too much fun.
Were there times were theretimes throughout the years that
you had talked about sendingthem to school or that the kids
expressed that they wanted to goto school?
Speaker (03:06):
Well, let me just jump back a moment because there was
another reason that I want toattach to this that we decided
to homeschool, and that was notonly were there issues in
curriculum and with just thelaws and all that stuff of what
was being brought into theschools, but there was just a
lot of a lot of issues fromother people's households that
(03:29):
were coming into the schools,and this is where we began to
see, unfortunately, just a lotof misbehavior and uh things of
that nature that kids wouldbring with them and then um lash
out their behavior inside ofschool.
So that was another thing thatwas a little was on our
hesitation list, and as a resultof that, through elementary and
(03:54):
middle school, we didn't reallyhave anybody who said, Let me
just can we reconsider this?
Can we, you know, go into apublic school setting, Christian
school setting, micro school,whatever.
None of the kids reallymentioned that.
They have been very happyhomeschooling.
There have been times wherewe've had, I wouldn't say that
they haven't had socialization,that's not it, because they've
(04:17):
had plenty.
And as a homeschooling mom,especially now, socialization
just kind of comes naturally asyou go along.
So they've had plenty of that,but they wanted um uh activities
that went along with later inyour middle school or high
school life, and so and eachchild is different.
I have one that could careless, and then my other two,
(04:40):
they want just some of thoseother social activities, and
sometimes that's hard to find.
So, as far as asking aboutgoing back to school or going
and visiting a brick and mortar,no, but I have had where they'd
want to just be involved in theadditional high school
activities and things like that.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah.
And were there any like localsoccer or martial arts or
musical theater, anything likethat that you could join?
I'm not sure if you live inkind of a spaced-out area where
that's not easily accessible.
Speaker (05:11):
Yes, so thanks for touching on that because I
utilize personally, I utilizeFacebook for homeschooling
groups, local homeschoolinggroups.
And I've lived in three statesso far, and wherever I moved, I
would just kind of type in,let's see, let me let me pick a
county that nobody will find me,right?
(05:32):
Let me pick a county.
So Love County.
I would type in Love CountyHomeschooling Group, right?
And I would see what would popup and from there I would get
connected.
And once you get that initialconnection, it just kind of
keeps rolling.
Oh, you homeschool?
You know, it just goes back andforth and let me share this and
let me share that.
So through that avenue, I havebeen able to find homeschooling
(05:54):
dances and homeschooling sportsteams and local theaters that uh
homeschoolers are welcome to,gymnastic classes, and and some
of these are open to the public,right?
It's just not specifically forhomeschoolers, but just open to
the public, or even classes atlocal high schools, whether that
(06:14):
is a private school, aChristian school, a public
school, technical school, soeven classes that homeschoolers
would be privy to.
I have found many avenues justby searching it that way, and
also getting in touch withwhatever, not an umbrella, but a
lot of states have a mainhomeschooling corporation of
(06:36):
sorts, and getting in contactwith that corporation, and then
they list everything by countyand by state, or excuse me, by
county and by region and thewest side of your state, the
east side of your state, andthat sort of thing.
So that has been a great, bothof them have been a great tool
to get myself connected withother moms and also my kids.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
And that's a great point because even the Facebook
pages, they let you know thatmaybe, you know, you could take
a regular class with the public,but the facility, like the
gymnastics or whatever martialarts, might be offering just
homeschool day once a month.
You know, I know there's aroller skating rink that does a
homeschool day once a month, andthere's a place that's like,
what do they call it?
(07:18):
It's like it's like rockclimbing and all that stuff.
It's got a fun name, but theyoffer homeschool day once a
month.
So it's like for a discountedrate, you go and there's all
these homeschoolers there fromyour area.
So that is also a great placeto meet, meet people, do a fun
activity, and even see whatother groups just have meetups.
Like we we belong to a couple,like you said, you go to the
local Facebook page for yourcounty, your area, and oh well,
(07:41):
this this one meets at parks onTuesdays, or you know, you can
try it.
Maybe you don't bond withanyone, your kid doesn't like
anyone, the ages don't match up,and you know, try a different
one.
And you know, that's happenedto me too, where you go to one
for a couple years and you'relike kind of grown out of this.
And it's just nice that youhave all of these options.
And Facebook, even though Idon't want to give Mark
Zuckerberg too much credit, thisis great for that.
(08:03):
I agree.
Speaker (08:04):
Right.
And and I was careful there tomention it.
It's a I mean, that is reallythe only reason why I use it, is
because of the homeschoolingresources that I find.
Uh, it has been priceless fromday one when I started
kindergarten.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Okay, so we talked about curriculum when you came
on my curriculum episode, and Ilove that.
I still remember it.
The seven sisters that youtalked about, and they have like
a career exploration program.
And I just love that idea somuch, and it just you you I'll
let you talk about it.
Speaker (08:35):
Okay, so that seven sisters career exploration um
curriculum, and it's almost likea unit study.
You can make it as long asshort as you'd like, and it
walks you through so many littlesteps to help your teen
navigate, find out what it isthat they may or may not want to
(08:55):
do, and it opens up their mindto a lot of different things
that maybe they didn't thinkabout that goes past college, by
the way.
So, in other words, you don'thave to just think about okay, I
have to do the SATs, the ACTs,I need to do the LSAT and every
other ATT or whatever test thereis because I have to get to
(09:17):
college.
No, there's a big world outthere with so many other
avenues.
And so the Seven Sisters CareerExploration Curriculum, or I'll
call it a unit study, it walksyour teen through that and it's
it's pretty fun.
I I did it myself.
It's it's interesting, and um,it just starts out by you know
asking you just some basicgeneric questions on not
(09:39):
necessarily what you might thinkyou want to do, but what are
your interests and your hobbies?
Almost a little mini aptitudetest to find out your strengths
and your weaknesses and tohighlight your strengths and
then point you into a directionof what a career could look like
for you.
And do you go to trade schoolfor that?
(10:00):
Do you go to technical schoolfor that?
Do you go to college?
Do you get a two-year degree?
Do you not go to school at all?
Right?
Because not everybody is goingto go to college.
We know this to be true thisday, and not everybody is cut
out to go to college.
Right.
And so this unit study of sortsis just a handy tool for your
(10:22):
teen, and it's not burdensomeand it's not dreary.
It just gets straight to thepoint, starts with your
strengths and your weaknesses,and gives you other things to
think about.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah.
And I that was always my thingin school.
I was like, well, I don't knowhow am I supposed to pick a
career while I'm in high schoolfor what I'm gonna go to college
for and spend God knows howmuch money on this degree for
this job when I don't know allthe jobs that exist.
Nobody's given me a list ofjobs that exist in the world.
And it's funny becausenowadays, with technology moving
(10:54):
so fast, even if you gave kidsa list today, by the time they
graduated in four years, thecareers would be different
because there was no podcasthost back then or the AI that's
coming in, or you know, it'sjust so changing that it's it's
very hard.
How do you prepare your kidsfor that?
Speaker (11:11):
Yeah, so what I have learned, and I learned this when
my oldest was in seventh grade,and then the next child was in
sixth grade, and the next onewas in fifth grade, I realized
that I could not teach them allthe same way because they were
different, and I was trying toteach them all the same way, and
it wasn't gonna work out atall.
(11:31):
I couldn't have continued on.
So when that light bulb cameinto my mind and my life and my
homeschool space, I thenrealized that I need to teach
them differently, and what isthat gonna look like long term?
And so I began to findcurriculum for them as an
individual.
Yes, it took me all through theelementary years to figure that
(11:54):
out.
And you know what?
That's okay.
That's alright.
Once I started to look forcurriculum for each child as an
individual, based off of howthey learn, one is more of a
visual learner like myself,whereas another one is just, you
know, buy the book, strict,give me the book, I will read
every single page and everyword.
(12:14):
I don't need to skim throughbecause that's you know a rule
follower type of thing.
And my other child, she's kindof in between.
Once I figured that out, then Istarted to think of the end in
my that I need to set them upfor success based off of how
they think and how they operateindividually.
And so ever since then, I have,even with life skills, even
(12:36):
with responsibilities around thehome, I have just catered it to
them because that's why I'mhere as a mom, is to make sure
that I am catering to my kids sothat I can set them up for
success.
I am not trying to doeverything for them.
That's not what I mean bycatering.
I am just making sure that I'mnot doing it my way, but I'm
(12:56):
gonna do everything possible toset them up for success.
So let me take my 12th graderfor example.
He loves all things technology.
So before the school year wouldbegin, once I figured that out
for him, it was a seventh grade,then I would sit down with him
and show him what I thoughtwould be a good lineup for
curriculum, and we would look ateverything, and then I would
(13:17):
listen to his feedback.
Now, of course, you know, asthe parent and as the homeschool
mom teacher, there were a fewthings that I would say, okay,
we're going to do that no matterwhat.
What about these others?
And the one that I said we'regonna do no matter what, we can
tweak it so that it works foryou, right?
And then from there, we wouldlook at electives that my my
(13:41):
oldest was interested in, and Iwould show him different
curriculum and have him chooseand this, that, the other, and
we've been doing that eversince.
And I just make sure thateverything aligns with my
state's requirements, and I justmake sure that it is something
of interest for each of my kids.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, and that's hard to do when you have different
subjects that you have to meetfor the school requirements if
you're in one of those statesand you want to keep it
interesting, and so you'retrying to research curriculum
and how much time, like what didyour day-to-day look like?
You know, were you sitting withall three at once?
Did were they able to do someindependent work so you could
give some one-on-one attentionto the kids?
(14:23):
Are you able to work on, youknow, your own stuff?
Do you work?
How what did your day looklike?
How would you like me to enterthat for middle school or high
school?
I guess let's start from thebeginning, like you know, more
younger, more middle school, andthen you can kind of say what's
changed as it's gotten older.
Give us some hope.
Of course.
Speaker (14:39):
In middle school, I continued to do a lot of hand
holding because uh each each ofmy kids needed that hand
holding, with the exception ofone.
And that's the one that I wouldsay that I mentioned earlier
was um just give me the book,I'll read every page.
I'm a rule follower.
(15:00):
Not saying that my other kidsaren't a rule follower, it's
just that my my 10th, my current10th grader, is just um just
more has been more independentfrom the time she was born.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Thinking about homeschooling but don't know
where to start?
Well, I've interviewed a fewpeople on the topic.
Actually, 120 interviews atthis point with homeschooling
families from across the countryand the world.
And what I've done is I'vepacked everything I've learned
into an ebook called TheHomeschool How to Complete
Starter Guide.
From navigating your state'slaws to finding your
homeschooling style, fromworking while homeschooling to
(15:33):
supporting kids with specialneeds.
This guide covers it all withreal stories from real families
who've walked this path.
I've taken the best insights,the best resources, and put them
all into this guide.
Stop feeling overwhelmed andstart feeling confident.
Get your copy of the HomeschoolHow To complete starter guide
today and discover thathomeschooling isn't just about
education.
(15:54):
It's about getting what youwant out of each day, not what
somebody else wants out of you.
You can grab the link to thisebook in the show's description
or head on over to thehomeschoolhowto.com.
Speaker (16:05):
And so it's just natural for her to just hand a
book to her and she's donewithin an hour.
You know, it's it's just it's anatural groove for her.
And so in the 10th, excuse me,in the middle school years, I
just continued to hand hold andI would sit with them and we
would do our family subjects andthen they had individual work.
(16:26):
And in the middle school years,I just also made it a point to
try to make whatever subject Icould as independent as possible
because I knew that high schoolwas coming and they needed to
learn independence at somepoint, and learning
independence, at least in myeyes, in the 11th grade, is just
a tad too late.
Like full, it's just a tad toolate.
(16:48):
And so they needed just to bejust have a little bit more
independence as each year wentby.
And so we would wake up in themorning, we had a schedule, we
would wake up in the morning,we're all dressed, we're ready
to go, and we would have ourfamily time or our family
subjects in the morning, andmost of those subjects were
history, science, our Bibletime, some readers from the
(17:10):
morning basket, and we wouldcomplete all of those things,
and then I would assign theirwork using Google Classroom.
By the way, I found that to bea very useful source, and also a
clipboard with um what eachstudent was doing, and I would
cross things off as I checkedthem.
But we would go through ourmorning time together, and then
from there I would have them sitin their favorite spot or
(17:33):
whatever learning corner thatthey liked, right?
And then they would start someof their independent work, and I
would just monitor and walkaround, and when they needed
help, I was just there, I wasjust constantly just there.
I turned off my cell phone, Ididn't let that interrupt me.
We didn't have um a TV on orany of those things, and we were
(17:56):
pretty just on task, on task.
And for my current 10th graderthat I was mentioning, she would
tend to just want to get all ofher work done in no breaks.
Whereas my other two, they justliked breaks and they liked
snacks and they like to talk andboy, those good days, I tell
you.
And and that was okay.
I realized that was okay, and Ilet it be okay because that was
(18:20):
their personality.
They needed they needed minibreaks all over the place.
And once they got those minibreaks and I stopped trying to
control those mini breaks,everything was a lot smoother.
And so we would have um somedays they would be done at noon,
some days they'd be done attwo, some days they'd be done at
(18:40):
you know eleven.
For the most part, we wouldstart around nine.
So just to give you uh anexample there, we'd start around
nine, some people would be doneat eleven, two, it would vary.
But for the most part, I wouldsay on an average, we would be
done by 11 or 12 with everythingin those middle school years.
Um, in the high school, once itgot to eighth grade, and we'll
(19:01):
say ninth grade, things rampedup a little bit more and uh the
days got a little longer.
And I know that there are manyhomeschool families that keep to
uh a tighter three or four hourschedule, but my my kids just
aren't so, and that's alright.
Like I said, I have two thathave they like to have a fun
time chatting, and that's okay.
And then I have one that I meanshe she's just on it and she's
(19:25):
done.
She wants to get everythingdone, and then she relaxes.
The high school years areinteresting because there is a
lot of heavier work, hardierwork that is involved, and I
feel as if there are more thingsto register and digest so that
you can make sure that youunderstand.
(19:46):
And I let's see, I'm thinkingof math right now, right?
And so we get into the algebraone, algebra two, geometry,
pre-calculus, and those type ofsubjects.
And if you really want tomaster the that's okay, if you
really want to master it, itmight cause you, like it does
sometimes my kids, it mightcause you an hour of okay, I
(20:09):
can't get this, I can't getthis, and then you take two
hours off and then you comeback.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah.
Isn't that such a luxury tohave that time to do that?
Let your brain rest and comeback to it.
Speaker (20:18):
Yep.
And so just depending on uhlet's just take my oldest,
because that's the best exampleI I have right now.
Ninth grade was I was nervous,I was anxious, he was nervous,
he was anxious.
And those first few months,they were challenging because
you're just trying to make sureyou do all the high school
things right, only to come tofind out that you're not really
(20:42):
doing anything different thanwhat you did in elementary and
middle school.
The only thing that you'redoing different that you're
adding on is your record keepinglooks different because it's
called a transcript.
Okay.
And the books cost more.
Like, seriously, that's prettymuch it.
That's pretty much the biggestdifference.
Subjects are hardier.
I mean, you still have to, youstill have a certain element of
(21:04):
I need to master the concept inthe middle school years and all
that.
You still have that.
It just might take a little bitlonger, depending on your child
in high school.
But ninth grade, once I figuredthat part out, and that was
about four months in, we're notdoing anything really
differently here, right?
I'm still walking beside.
I'm still hand holding, right?
I'm gonna start loosening upmore, but I'm still hand holding
(21:26):
to make sure that I'm not justkicking them off to the wayside.
My record keeping is now calleda transcript.
I still need to make sure thatthey are on task and being
accountable and payingattention, and I'm not just
gonna say, Oh, you're in highschool now, figure it out.
Not gonna do that.
And then we move into 10thgrade, and things are rocking
and rolling because we gotthrough the ninth grade year and
(21:48):
all of the jitters, right?
And 10th grade I feel wasactually more difficult for
myself and uh my 10th grader atthe time.
Uh, I thought it was moredifficult for him because ninth
grade is kind of a cushion ofsorts, and if you get that, not
that if you get it wrong, butit's it's a cushion because
you're repeating or you'rereviewing, excuse me, a lot of
(22:11):
things that you learned in theeighth grade.
Tieding in, it does now matteron a transcript of sorts.
10th grader, excuse me, in 10thgrade, if you outsource it or
or if you have a co-op class orsomething like that, the
instructors are expecting you toknow what you're doing.
You're not in ninth gradeanymore, you're in tenth grade
now, you know?
So that's only if you outsourceit.
(22:32):
And I also think with myself,when I was teaching some of the
subjects for my son who was a10th grader at the time, I now
expected more out of him.
So in 10th grade, you kind ofexpect more out of your child
because you're like, okay,listen, we're in high school
now, let's let's figure thisout.
You're not kind of babying themanymore.
11th grade was good because itjust seemed to flow because now
(22:54):
we're in our flowing season.
But you think to yourself, waita minute, I gotta get this
transcript together.
Next year is called graduation.
What do we need to do?
So in the 11th grade, thingswere smoother, but now you're in
that mode of, okay, we'regetting to the end, but we're
not there yet.
I still have some time.
And in the 11th grade, we did alot of um, is there anything we
(23:16):
need to clean up?
Is there anything that we needto repeat?
Is there anything that you knowyou're truly interested in that
we can add as an elective?
Or do you want to do morescience or math because you're
going into the field oftechnology?
Like, what what is it?
Let's ch talk about that more.
You kind of turn into aguidance counselor very quickly
around 10 and 11.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Do you have the liberty to pick and choose?
Like I talked to some familiesthat are like, we do Latin, and
I'm thinking to myself, oh myGod, I never be doing Latin.
I mean, I also said I'd neverhomeschool, so who knows?
Maybe I'll be speaking Latin in10 years.
But um, you know, when you isthere something that says these
are all the things that you haveto do?
And I know that like I'm in thestate of New York, it says, you
(23:59):
know, you have to test everyyear in high school.
Um, so there's obviously somethings that they have to know.
But like you also mentioned,oh, you're into science and
technology.
What more can we add?
Where you can go on and pickand choose from like the place
that you get your curriculum ormaybe a college course.
And how did you do that?
How do you know that you'redoing enough?
Speaker (24:17):
Perfect question.
Thank you.
When I started, I didn't knowhow to do this.
When I when I jumped into themiddle school years, I figured I
had to figure this out.
So, what I did, and what Iencourage others who ask, is
this the first thing I did was,and let me put a little
disclaimer here.
Depending on where you are, thestate may lay it all out for
(24:38):
you.
You have to do A, B, C, E, F,G.
There's no wiggle room.
So start with your state'srequirements for homeschoolers,
whatever that looks like.
That's the first part.
I don't have any requirements,so that's cool.
However, I had to think tomyself, my son may go to
college.
My son, that's he's in the 12thgrade.
He might go to college, hemight not.
And if he doesn't, and that'snot his path, that's okay.
(25:02):
However, I am I personally, myhusband and I, we're gonna set
him up as if he might go tocollege so that he already has
the check marks and we don'thave to backtrack.
And if he doesn't, then he'salready set up good to go.
So, how do we do that?
Two things.
I looked at the local publicschools and I saw what their
requirements were for highschool.
(25:24):
A lot of um high schools theyjust have it on their website,
and so I looked at therequirements and they said four
years of English and four yearsof, you know, this specific
math, and you need your statehistory and this, this, that,
the other.
The second thing I did was Ilooked at a local community
college and college to see whatthey are requiring of
(25:47):
homeschoolers.
Many, many, many, many collegeshave that on their website
these days because of 2020, whathappened in 2020.
That's good to know.
I took, yeah, I took those twoareas, so the local high school,
the public high school, and Ialso looked at local private
(26:08):
schools, and it was all in onethe same because you're if
you're in a private school or apublic school, you need the
graduation requirementsaccording to the state in order
to graduate.
And so I looked at that for thelocal school, we'll say that,
and then I looked at a localcollege, and like I said, a lot
of them have a um, you can justtype in homeschool at the
(26:28):
University of New York, right?
And then you can see what popsup for the requirements.
And then I printed that out andI did a compare and contrast,
and then from there, since mystate that I live in doesn't
have any requirements, I said,okay, this is what we're gonna
do, this is what we're not gonnado, this is what we're gonna
do, this is what we're not gonnado.
And that's how I came up withmaking sure that my son would
(26:51):
have enough.
And we're following suit for myother two kids as well.
And so we had a lot of libertyin choosing classes that were
miscellaneous courses that werenot on the local um public
school requirements or thecollege requirements because
where I live, I don't have anyrequirements.
(27:13):
But I just made sure if it said22 credits, high school credits
to graduate, I made sure thatmy son had 30 or whatever it is,
27 or more, just as a littlecushion.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Okay, nice.
Yeah, I a lot of people haveyoung kids now getting into
this, so it's reallyenlightening, informative for us
to kind of have that long-termpicture.
And I that's kind of what I'velearned to tell people to have a
long-term goal in mind, even ifthey're little, even if they're
seven, six years old.
Like, are you prepping forcollege?
Obviously, that's gonna look Ithink it'll look so different in
(27:46):
10 years when my child is readyto go.
I think college admissions aregonna be way down because people
are going to realize, oh, Iactually don't need the degree.
I don't have to spend $200,000to, you know, own my own
business or, you know, whateverit is that work in technology,
even um, a lot of it willprobably be hands-on
(28:07):
apprenticeships, which would beawesome.
I guess not for the collegesfor us or the people in student
loans.
So, okay.
Now, did you have to leave ajob in order to decide to
homeschool?
Because that was a big thingfor me.
I quit a government job and Ithought I was like crazy.
I'm like, oh my God, who walksaway from a pension?
But now that I've been out of acubicle and living with my kids
(28:31):
in the outdoors and learningactual real stuff and not just
pushing emails around, I'm like,I can't believe I sat in a
cubicle for 16 years.
What's crazy?
Speaker (28:42):
So, how did that look for you?
My journey was a littledifferent.
When I married my husband, Iwas on a corporate ladder.
And hence why I said, I am nothomeschooling, just don't even
bother.
Kudos to you.
Good for you that you werehomeschooled, but I'm not doing
it.
And so I was already on acorporate ladder just doing my
(29:03):
thing.
Unfortunately, I became illwith my asthma, and so I before
I even thought abouthomeschooling, I had to stop
working.
And so that's my story is alittle different on that end.
Anyway, I'm doing fine now, andso my work involves just
homeschooling these three highschoolers.
(29:23):
That is a it's a lot.
I'm a coach, I'm a guidancecounselor, I'm whatever you want
to say.
Um, it it is not that it's alot of work, you have to think
through a lot of things just tomake sure that they are getting
where they need to be.
And so I've done a lot ofresearch.
I'm a researcher, I mean, soyeah, so my work just looks a
little different now.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, you don't get the three breaks a day or maybe
the paycheck with the time off,but it's worth it.
Speaker (29:51):
And that's okay.
Yeah, that's okay.
And you know, it's a it's anemotional, it's an emotional
package these days.
Lots of my Milestones.
So to the audience that youhave with the younger kids,
right?
Um, and you are going throughall of these milestones.
I am going through the same.
(30:12):
You will repeat thesemilestones just with your ones
right now.
Older.
And what do I mean by that?
Just about, let's see, justabout an hour ago, my son
returned from driving from work.
So he started a job about twomonths ago.
So that's a milestone.
And today was his first daydriving to work on his own.
(30:35):
That's a milestone.
Those are just just big things,you know, that come about.
Um, so happy for him, very,very proud.
So you go through the drivingschool and you you just go
through all of these differentlittle things, different little
milestones.
So, to your younger audience,something I posted on my
Instagram today is that in theblink of an eye, all of what
(31:00):
you're going through, those harddays, the days when you think
you are not going to getthrough, like there were so
many, and I mean so many days,especially in the elementary
years.
I don't know what was happeningin the most elementary years.
I was like, I'm done.
I am done.
Somebody come get these kids.
I'm done.
I'm not doing this anymore.
(31:21):
And I'm so happy that Icontinued on.
I'm so happy that there werepeople that I could reach out to
to just send me a hug through atext or just say, Oh no, you've
got this, CJ.
You're gonna do fine.
Or somebody to encourage me andsay, hey, just take a break.
Let them watch Mickey Mouse.
Just be done.
You know, be done for the day.
(31:42):
It's fine.
You have three kids close inage.
They're gonna be fine if youdon't teach them about the
ladybug and the bees and theflowers, and they're gonna be
okay.
Just take a break.
You, mom, you need a break.
Turn the TV on, be done.
Or have them read a book ofcolor.
Yeah.
(32:02):
And all of those milestonesthat they overcame when they
were younger now just lookdifferent.
And I'm grasping on to all ofthem, and I still have people
speak into my life and tell methat it's going to be okay.
So, to all of your the youngerparents that are listening, just
(32:24):
try your best.
I know how hard it is.
I know.
Try your best to enjoy whatevermoments you can and give
yourself as much grace as youpossibly can.
You are doing a fine job.
Even when you think you're not,you are doing a fine job.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
That is so wonderful to hear.
You know, you are so rightbecause And if you ask for it,
like you say, you know, give mea sign, you know, please to the
higher power up there to God.
Is this where I'm supposed tobe?
And you know, you'll get ananswer.
And it's funny because yeah,there are I I was talking to a
friend the other day.
I'm like, I have just l suchlittle patience.
(33:01):
She was talking about how muchpatience she has, and I'm like,
I am so envious because I justdidn't grow up in that
environment.
When I was a child, my parentshad zero patience for me.
I'm very high-strung people,and I'm trying with my kids.
Like like we'll be sitting intraffic and you know, we'll see
the ambulance up ahead.
And I'm like, okay, what mymother would have done is scream
(33:23):
not there, these effings.
But I was like, let's take thisopportunity to say, hey kids,
let's say a prayer for whoever'sin that car, and let's thank
God that it's not us, right?
Like, there's a reason that wehad to run back in the house and
try to like really say, butthen other days they're just at
each other's throats.
And I'm like, yo, people don'tlisten to me until I scream.
(33:45):
That's more days than not.
And you're right, becausesometimes I just we'll turn the
TV on and I feel guilty.
And then I'm like, you knowwhat?
I'm a human being though.
Like, this, if this is theworst thing that happened to
them today, that they watchblippy, then it's okay.
They're safe, they're loved,they're fed, they're going to
bed in clean, you know, bedstonight in a good home.
(34:07):
So, like, yeah, you're winning.
Speaker (34:08):
And let let me add this because there was so much mom
guilt in those elementary years.
So, to your um, your parentsthat are in that stage,
elementary and middle school.
Now, personally, I just I'veshut the noise, so I'm good to
go.
If somebody doesn't like whatyou're doing, you gotta move on.
You have to do whatever youneed to do for your sanity and
(34:30):
for your children, your familyin the homeschooling world.
You've gotta do whatever youneed to do to get to the next
day.
There were some days that Iwould just say, you know what?
We're gonna stop this activity.
Let's go to the park.
That is a whole learningexperience right there.
That is a whole learningexperience.
(34:52):
Trust me when I say that.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Have you taught your kids what to do in an emergency?
It's a conversation weshouldn't put off, and it's a
conversation we should haveoften.
That's why I wrote Let's TalkEmergencies, a book that covers
everything from dialing 911 on alocked cell phone to staying
safe online, water safety, firesafety, and more.
The most important lessons wecan teach our kids are not
reading, writing, and math.
(35:15):
They're how to keep themselvesand others safe.
In today's world ofuncertainty, give them the tools
they need.
Grab a copy today.
Check out the link in thisepisode's description.
Speaker (35:25):
And even in the middle school years, I did the same
thing.
Let's go for a walk.
We we need a break.
We all mom needs a break.
I need a break.
I need a break.
Let's go for a walk.
There was a couple of timesthat we went and got ice cream
in the middle of the day.
There have been times where Ijust said, you know what?
We're just gonna close thisbook.
We'll continue tomorrow.
You guys can go ahead and workon things quietly.
(35:47):
Let me know if you needanything.
Parents, let me tell you this.
The minute that you can turnoff the noise, that you can
disconnect from social media andwhat people are saying and
criticizing you.
Unfortunately, sometimes it'sfamily members or your neighbor
or what have you as well.
As soon as you can giveyourself grace and know that you
(36:08):
are doing a fine job, andwhatever you're choosing to do
is best for your family, it willbe smoother sailing from there
on out.
Trust me on that.
I learned that just a tad toolate.
Yeah.
And I wish I would havebelieved that a little earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And just like anything else, if they don't
know about it because they'venever researched homeschooling,
of course they're going to haveall the negative connotations
around it because you just hearwhat the social media or like,
you know, that one episode of ashow they saw when they were a
kid with the weird homeschool onit.
You know, and that they putthat stuff out there in TV
anyway on purpose because theydon't want people homeschooling.
(36:47):
So of course they're gonna makethem look weird.
But, you know, or they knew onehomeschooler that was weird
when they were a kid, but yeah,they don't think about all the
kids in their class that wereweird.
But yes, if you don't researchit, you don't know.
And that's the same withanything else, you know, whether
it's um how you treat yourcancer or you know, God forbid
that never happens.
But like, you know, I I wentdown a whole rabbit hole just
(37:10):
looking into that one day and Iwas like, oh my goodness.
Well, maybe so it's like,unless you actually take the
time to research, you're gonnahave that opinion.
So that's why your family, yourfriends have it.
And they also probably have alittle bit of what's the word,
not jealousy, but like, well,maybe I wasn't as good of a
parent because I sent my kids toschool.
I didn't think otherwise.
So maybe their insecurity andtheir own decisions is coming
(37:33):
out and how they're treating youabout that too.
So we gotta try to keep allthat in mind.
And I I had a friend call melast night for that exact thing.
She said, I can't even hang outwith my family anymore.
They tell me my kids aremisbehaved and they need to be
in school.
And she was all upset.
And I said, You know what?
They're they're five andseven-year-old boys, so they're
just rambunctious.
And she's like, I need to havesomething in my back pocket to
(37:55):
just be able to say to them.
So I spent all morning comingup with things and I put it on
my Instagram account too, whichI'll have to sh I'll have to
follow you.
I don't think I do.
And we'll put that in theshow's description if you want
people to follow your Instagramaccount and your YouTube.
But yeah, I spent all this timeputting together like the
benefits and you know, even allthe way to I was looking up the
psychology behind active shooterdrills because every kid has to
(38:17):
experience that now.
And it's like, okay, justbecause the school shooting
didn't happen to your child,they had to go through these
drills from a very young age.
And what's the trauma that thedrills themselves have?
And I was shocked to find thatthere are studies that show
there's like 40% higher rates ofanxiety and stress, and you
know, it it's a lot of a lot ofthings that, you know, I I was
(38:37):
researching and posted on up tothe food that's served in school
and what that's doing to thekids because there's you know
free and reduced lunch forpretty much every child now
because they don't want to havethat, you know, oh, point the
kid out that's getting the freelunch so everybody gets free
lunch.
So if I pack my kid with allorganic, healthy foods, they're
gonna be like, bro, this and thegarbage, it's pizza day.
Right.
(38:58):
You know, right.
What are some of the benefitsthat you've seen from
homeschooling since your kidsgrew up in the heart of the
technology and social media?
I I'll say more social media,because technology, that's not
necessarily the problem.
The social media in school wentfrom I went from I was in
college when Facebook came outin 2002 or so 2003, and now it's
(39:22):
everybody has a cell phone,everyone I mean, do you s what
do you allow your kids to haveor not have?
And what have you seen in theequivalent, like their peers
that do go to school?
Speaker (39:32):
Oh boy.
So my kids don't have socialmedia.
Yeah, yeah, they just don'thave social media, it's just
something that we've chosen notto do.
Last week, um, this asked forone portion of social media, so
we're chatting about that andwhat that means, and um that
makes sense, right?
(39:53):
He's 17, he's almost 18, 19,20, 21, and he just has been so
respectful in not asking aboutsocial media.
So little by little, he'sasking about this or that, and
we're exploring it together.
So you asked me about one ofthe benefits of what I've seen
with my kids growing up in thesocial media world or just being
(40:15):
at home homeschooled.
And one of the things is thatwe can have these conversations,
ongoing conversations aboutwhat social media does to young
people, and why we feel at thismoment it might not be the best
idea for you.
And so we've just had thosetype of conversations as they
come up here and there andeverywhere.
(40:36):
And then, like I said, lastweek my son inquired about a
social media platform, and sowe're discussing that and what
does that look like, the whybehind it.
So I may not be the best personto chat about social media in
teens.
Um, the research is out therefor all to see a lot of the
damage that it does.
There were a couple ofinstances that we were using
(40:58):
social media um together, and Iwas monitoring it, and this was
for I can't even recall, thiswas in 10th grade what it was
for.
But anyway, I was monitoring itas a parent of someone who just
exited ninth grade and now isentering 10th grade, and it was
a it was a group.
It was a group of people from ahistory class or something, and
(41:18):
they were continuing on.
Anyway, and that just went sourreally.
Philly, something so innocent.
Even with the parents in thatparticular social media
platform, it went sour.
It was bad very, very quickly.
People being rude to eachother.
It went from rude to it just,yeah, it was bad.
I will, I will not repeat.
(41:39):
It was bad.
And and parents were in there.
Parents were in this, and so itwas a great test of and here's
the thing.
Here is the thing.
There were three or four of thekids, one of my kids being one
of them, that was trying to turnthe narrative.
You guys, this is not the wayto do this.
This is not right.
And um, it still just wentsour.
(42:00):
And so, yeah, we we talkedthrough.
Even with the homeschooledkids, geez.
Yeah, I I mean it it happens,and I'm gonna, yeah, it happens,
unfortunately.
And that's why it's importantfor you to surround your
homeschool life and space withpeople who are gonna be
encouraging and uplifting to youfrom the parents all the way
down, and to encourage your kidsto do the same.
(42:23):
I'm not saying that you cannotbe friends with people who are
not homeschoolers because forthe longest time I thought that
way myself.
I didn't think I could havefriends outside of the
homeschooling community, andsome of my best friends to this
day don't homeschool, and that'sfine.
I I am here to say that that isjust fine, and we can, you
know, be civil to one anotherand we can hang out and
(42:46):
encourage one another.
And I myself and and my kids,we went to one of our friends'
volleyball games and supportedhim at his school.
Uh, I f I feel that that isjust fine.
But even in the homeschoolingcommunity, you have to be
careful who you listen to, youhave to be careful who you
follow, and you just want tomake wise decisions and make
(43:09):
sure that you are teaching yourkids to do the same.
And you have a lot ofopportunity to do so because
they are home with you.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Yeah, and you know, even in the homeschooling
community, I've definitely seenwhere we hang out with one group
and like, okay, there's thatkid that really, you know,
sticks out and ha having like abully, a very aggressive bully
situation, you know.
So, okay, well, I don't and yougotta kind of is this something
that that kid's just learningthrough, or is this an innate
behavior, something going on inthe home, kind of like you
(43:38):
mentioned in the beginning withthe the classroom?
Right.
Something going on in the homethat, you know, so do we want to
be a part of that?
And and then even with anothergroup that we currently hang
with, you know, in the beginningwhen we were the new people and
my son was the youngest, andit's like they've already
established their friendships.
And of course, he was, Iwouldn't go so far as calling it
bullying, because I think everpeople call everything bullying
(44:00):
these days.
Whenever anyone's feelings arehurt, it's oh, they were
bullying you.
But no, it was just that my kidwas the youngest, probably
annoying to the older kids, youknow, wanting to tag along and
be there and be goofy.
And, you know, they werealready established friends.
So of course there was likethat era where it's like he
would just go off by himselfbecause he'd feel left out.
And it broke my heart, and ithappened almost in every
(44:23):
situation, every group situationwe were in with him, he would
just go off by himself.
And I worried so much.
And then, you know, we've beendoing this a couple of years
now, and he's so he's known thekids a couple of years now.
We've done a camping triptogether, we see them all the
time.
So they have created more of abond.
They've they've discovered thatthey all like to fish together,
they've discovered that theyall like to bike together.
(44:43):
So, like those things grow.
They're not gonna happen yourfirst visit to the homeschool
group, you know.
Even the moms are not gonna belike welcoming you in with open
arms because they're probablyused to seeing people come in
and out and in and out, and youknow, you're here just to test
the waters, or you know, you'rehere and then you actually you
just summer break and thenyou're sending your kid to
school in the fall.
So they kind of need to seeyour face too to know that
(45:05):
you're serious and get to knowyou.
Right.
So it's hard, even though it'sit's homeschooling, and we're
all there for wanting the bestfor our kids, it's still we're
all humans with our ownbackgrounds and coming in with
that pre-existing knowledge orbaggage, whatever we want to
call it.
But can you tell us a littlebit about your YouTube page
before we round out the hourtoo?
(45:26):
Because you have a YouTube pagethat um is has so much good
information on it.
Speaker (45:30):
Yeah, so my YouTube channel is homeschooling through
high school, same with myInstagram page, and I just post
videos on there recently.
I've been receiving requests topost a lot of videos about the
high school senior year, andwhat does that look like and
what does that entail from the,you know, what is a FASFO?
What is a transcript?
(45:50):
How how do you deal withemotions?
How do you handle it as a mom?
So I just post a lot of thingsabout the middle school and the
high school years as ahomeschooler, and every now and
then I post some other funthings as well on my Instagram
page, homeschooling through highschool, the same.
I just post a lot ofencouragement just because I was
(46:12):
I had one person who pouredinto me so much and encouraged
me when they didn't need to, andI will never forget that.
So I like to post a lot ofencouraged, encouraging posts
and reels to uplift anyhomeschooler that I can.
And then I post about coffeeand stuff like that sometimes
too.
I just hit follow.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
I just hit follow on your page.
I can't believe I wasn'tfollowing you.
I guess I knew that you had theYouTube.
I didn't know that you were umon Instagram too.
So yeah, this looks so fun.
I love this.
You're so colorful and all thestuff that you put on here.
So great.
Even just looking at the page,I'm uplifted.
And I can I put a link to thisand your YouTube page in the
show's description so people caneasily find it.
(46:54):
Yes, thank you so much.
Awesome.
Anything else you're working onthat you wanted to talk about
or say before we close out forthe hour?
Speaker (47:00):
I want to, I should make a video about this.
The the myths behindhomeschooling high schoolers and
teens.
It's um, you know, one of themost important things that I
figured out is that if you haveopen communication with your
teens and have them involved inthe process of high school,
things will go a lot smootherfor you.
(47:22):
And the most important thing asa parent is to make sure that
at the end of the day, at thebeginning of the day, in the
middle of the day, you have arelationship with your child.
The curriculum, the books, themath smarts, etc.
All of that stuff.
It will be it will be there.
But your relationship with yourchild through the high school
(47:42):
years is so crucial.
It is so crucial, and it's veryimportant to do whatever you
need to do to keep thatrelationship very, very, very,
very strong.
And so do fun things with yourteen.
Find out what they want to doand do it.
And I think the high schoolyears, even middle school, start
(48:03):
in middle school.
Um sometimes it's hard to getthat one-on-one time in the
elementary years, but if you canmake it a point to separate
some time in the middle schoolyears and definitely in the high
school years, and haveone-on-one just fun time because
remember, you're always theteacher now.
You're always the person that'stelling them not only the
(48:25):
responsibilities they need to doin the house and the chores and
the this and the that, butyou're also guiding them with
their schoolwork.
You gotta have some fun inthere.
And teenagers still wanna havefun and do all the fun things
that they did when they weresmaller.
It just looks different, youknow.
Um, it just looks a littledifferent.
My son and I, we go to Costco.
That's one of our littleoutings, and he gets whatever
(48:47):
little treat he wants here andthere, you know, or maybe not,
but that's he liked Costco, Ilike Costco, so we go to Costco.
That might not be foreverybody, but that's what we
do.
And let's see.
I think last week we went to InN Out.
After his college class, wewent to In N Out because that's
what I figured we would do forthe week.
And that's about the amount oftime that he has.
(49:08):
So we just continue to dolittle things, whatever that
might be.
Also, last week he was doingsomething with some technology
thing, so I decided to just sitthere and just ask him a couple
questions about it because he'sinterested in it.
So I need to find an interestin it as well.
And I'm just giving youexamples.
Stay connected with your child.
I I promise you, the highschool years, the middle school
(49:31):
years will be all that so muchmore and be smoother if you do
so.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Oh, I love that.
And you're so right.
And even when they're little,I've noticed with my son, if I
take the time to shut that phoneoff and sit down with him just
to play a board game for, youknow, 20 minutes, a half hour,
whatever it is, or a card game.
Now that he's getting to thatage where he can play and do all
that stuff on his own, like wehave fun, you know, bonding over
(49:56):
that.
And I need to get back intothat because I think we kind of
lost it over the summer becauseit's nice out and he's out
playing and stuff, but it's soimportant.
And then car rides too is agreat opportunity to talk, you
know.
Don't just have on, okay, we'relistening to our book on tape,
or I'm listening to my podcastand you listen to your stuff
back there, you know, or we'rejust playing music.
Like you can shut it off andtalk about things, anything that
(50:18):
comes up, or hey, whoever seesa hawk first gets a point, or
who can read that sign comingup, or who can find the first B?
You know, little things likethat where I've noticed, like,
oh, that brought up conversationbetween us where I normally
would have just had, you know, apodcast play-in that I, you
know, missed last week.
And those those littleopportunities, they really do
(50:38):
mean a lot to the kids, evenwhen we're yelling and screaming
at them later in the day.
Speaker (50:42):
Yeah, they do.
They really, really do.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
Yeah, CJ, thank you so much for joining me today.
This has been so nice toreconnect with you, and I can't
wait to maybe talk to you aftergraduation for your son, and you
can let us know how that wentand what else we can expect.
Speaker (50:57):
Yes, it's it's coming.
I'm I'm very happy.
I'm very happy about that.
I will have my emotions, ofcourse.
The whole family will, but I'mexcited.
I'm excited.
Um, congratulations on that.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
You did it! Thank you, CJ.
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
(51:28):
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation!
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why people are homeschooling?
How do you do it?
How does it differ from regionto region?
And should I homeschool mykids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome.
And with me today, I have CJ,who I've had on my curriculum
podcast before, but now she'shere for the main spotlight.
CJ, welcome.
Hello, thank you for having me.
I'm so glad to get to touchbase with you because I don't
often get to, you know, followup with people and see how
(00:48):
things are still going.
And your story is awesomebecause you've been
homeschooling for years.
You're like, you've got theteens, you've got the yes, kind
of the finished product, so thatyou can give us that like
relaxation that it's all gonnabe okay.
You're not gonna mess them upforever.
Speaker (01:04):
No, no, not at all.
Not at all, not at all.
So, how old are your kids?
How many do you have?
All right, so I have a ninthgrader, she is 14, I have a 10th
grader, and she is uh she'll be16 next month.
And then my 12th grader, mysenior, is 17 and a half.
(01:24):
Oh my goodness.
And how long have you beenhomeschooling?
Uh since my oldest, since mysenior was in kindergarten, so
this whole time.
Yeah, so wow, a long time.
Years and years.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So what made you what made you decide to homeschool
in the first place?
Because it wasn't as popular asit is today.
Did you ever think?
Speaker (01:43):
Yeah, so it began to become very popular when I
started.
Maybe not in the state that Iwas living in, but it was it was
becoming popular.
And I just noticed that therewere a lot of different issues
and things that were coming upin the elementary years that I
did not want my son at the timeto be exposed to.
(02:05):
And I was also with child atthat particular time and
thought, wow, you know, what arewe gonna do about this?
So chatted with my husband whowas homeschooled, but I told him
I would never do this ever.
So don't even think about it.
And just chatting with him andsaid, you know what?
Let's give kindergarten achance, right?
Because I truly feel thatanyone, if they just put their
(02:29):
mind to it, right, and get alittle bit of guidance, they can
start with kindergarten andfirst grade, those younger
years, and they'll be alright.
And so I said, Okay, fine,we'll start with that.
And we just really wanted toshare our morals and our values
and to be the voice in our kids'life.
And so we started out withkindergarten and first grade and
(02:51):
second, and it just kept going.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And then as you had more, you were like, I can't
can't send them away at thispoint.
We're having too much fun.
Were there times were theretimes throughout the years that
you had talked about sendingthem to school or that the kids
expressed that they wanted to goto school?
Speaker (03:06):
Well, let me just jump back a moment because there was
another reason that I want toattach to this that we decided
to homeschool, and that was notonly were there issues in
curriculum and with just thelaws and all that stuff of what
was being brought into theschools, but there was just a
lot of a lot of issues fromother people's households that
(03:29):
were coming into the schools,and this is where we began to
see, unfortunately, just a lotof misbehavior and uh things of
that nature that kids wouldbring with them and then um lash
out their behavior inside ofschool.
So that was another thing thatwas a little was on our
hesitation list, and as a resultof that, through elementary and
(03:54):
middle school, we didn't reallyhave anybody who said, Let me
just can we reconsider this?
Can we, you know, go into apublic school setting, Christian
school setting, micro school,whatever.
None of the kids reallymentioned that.
They have been very happyhomeschooling.
There have been times wherewe've had, I wouldn't say that
they haven't had socialization,that's not it, because they've
(04:17):
had plenty.
And as a homeschooling mom,especially now, socialization
just kind of comes naturally asyou go along.
So they've had plenty of that,but they wanted um uh activities
that went along with later inyour middle school or high
school life, and so and eachchild is different.
I have one that could careless, and then my other two,
(04:40):
they want just some of thoseother social activities, and
sometimes that's hard to find.
So, as far as asking aboutgoing back to school or going
and visiting a brick and mortar,no, but I have had where they'd
want to just be involved in theadditional high school
activities and things like that.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah.
And were there any like localsoccer or martial arts or
musical theater, anything likethat that you could join?
I'm not sure if you live inkind of a spaced-out area where
that's not easily accessible.
Speaker (05:11):
Yes, so thanks for touching on that because I
utilize personally, I utilizeFacebook for homeschooling
groups, local homeschoolinggroups.
And I've lived in three statesso far, and wherever I moved, I
would just kind of type in,let's see, let me let me pick a
county that nobody will find me,right?
(05:32):
Let me pick a county.
So Love County.
I would type in Love CountyHomeschooling Group, right?
And I would see what would popup and from there I would get
connected.
And once you get that initialconnection, it just kind of
keeps rolling.
Oh, you homeschool?
You know, it just goes back andforth and let me share this and
let me share that.
So through that avenue, I havebeen able to find homeschooling
(05:54):
dances and homeschooling sportsteams and local theaters that uh
homeschoolers are welcome to,gymnastic classes, and and some
of these are open to the public,right?
It's just not specifically forhomeschoolers, but just open to
the public, or even classes atlocal high schools, whether that
(06:14):
is a private school, aChristian school, a public
school, technical school, soeven classes that homeschoolers
would be privy to.
I have found many avenues justby searching it that way, and
also getting in touch withwhatever, not an umbrella, but a
lot of states have a mainhomeschooling corporation of
(06:36):
sorts, and getting in contactwith that corporation, and then
they list everything by countyand by state, or excuse me, by
county and by region and thewest side of your state, the
east side of your state, andthat sort of thing.
So that has been a great, bothof them have been a great tool
to get myself connected withother moms and also my kids.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
And that's a great point because even the Facebook
pages, they let you know thatmaybe, you know, you could take
a regular class with the public,but the facility, like the
gymnastics or whatever martialarts, might be offering just
homeschool day once a month.
You know, I know there's aroller skating rink that does a
homeschool day once a month, andthere's a place that's like,
what do they call it?
(07:18):
It's like it's like rockclimbing and all that stuff.
It's got a fun name, but theyoffer homeschool day once a
month.
So it's like for a discountedrate, you go and there's all
these homeschoolers there fromyour area.
So that is also a great placeto meet, meet people, do a fun
activity, and even see whatother groups just have meetups.
Like we we belong to a couple,like you said, you go to the
local Facebook page for yourcounty, your area, and oh well,
(07:41):
this this one meets at parks onTuesdays, or you know, you can
try it.
Maybe you don't bond withanyone, your kid doesn't like
anyone, the ages don't match up,and you know, try a different
one.
And you know, that's happenedto me too, where you go to one
for a couple years and you'relike kind of grown out of this.
And it's just nice that youhave all of these options.
And Facebook, even though Idon't want to give Mark
Zuckerberg too much credit, thisis great for that.
(08:03):
I agree.
Speaker (08:04):
Right.
And and I was careful there tomention it.
It's a I mean, that is reallythe only reason why I use it, is
because of the homeschoolingresources that I find.
Uh, it has been priceless fromday one when I started
kindergarten.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Okay, so we talked about curriculum when you came
on my curriculum episode, and Ilove that.
I still remember it.
The seven sisters that youtalked about, and they have like
a career exploration program.
And I just love that idea somuch, and it just you you I'll
let you talk about it.
Speaker (08:35):
Okay, so that seven sisters career exploration um
curriculum, and it's almost likea unit study.
You can make it as long asshort as you'd like, and it
walks you through so many littlesteps to help your teen
navigate, find out what it isthat they may or may not want to
(08:55):
do, and it opens up their mindto a lot of different things
that maybe they didn't thinkabout that goes past college, by
the way.
So, in other words, you don'thave to just think about okay, I
have to do the SATs, the ACTs,I need to do the LSAT and every
other ATT or whatever test thereis because I have to get to
(09:17):
college.
No, there's a big world outthere with so many other
avenues.
And so the Seven Sisters CareerExploration Curriculum, or I'll
call it a unit study, it walksyour teen through that and it's
it's pretty fun.
I I did it myself.
It's it's interesting, and um,it just starts out by you know
asking you just some basicgeneric questions on not
(09:39):
necessarily what you might thinkyou want to do, but what are
your interests and your hobbies?
Almost a little mini aptitudetest to find out your strengths
and your weaknesses and tohighlight your strengths and
then point you into a directionof what a career could look like
for you.
And do you go to trade schoolfor that?
(10:00):
Do you go to technical schoolfor that?
Do you go to college?
Do you get a two-year degree?
Do you not go to school at all?
Right?
Because not everybody is goingto go to college.
We know this to be true thisday, and not everybody is cut
out to go to college.
Right.
And so this unit study of sortsis just a handy tool for your
(10:22):
teen, and it's not burdensomeand it's not dreary.
It just gets straight to thepoint, starts with your
strengths and your weaknesses,and gives you other things to
think about.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah.
And I that was always my thingin school.
I was like, well, I don't knowhow am I supposed to pick a
career while I'm in high schoolfor what I'm gonna go to college
for and spend God knows howmuch money on this degree for
this job when I don't know allthe jobs that exist.
Nobody's given me a list ofjobs that exist in the world.
And it's funny becausenowadays, with technology moving
(10:54):
so fast, even if you gave kidsa list today, by the time they
graduated in four years, thecareers would be different
because there was no podcasthost back then or the AI that's
coming in, or you know, it'sjust so changing that it's it's
very hard.
How do you prepare your kidsfor that?
Speaker (11:11):
Yeah, so what I have learned, and I learned this when
my oldest was in seventh grade,and then the next child was in
sixth grade, and the next onewas in fifth grade, I realized
that I could not teach them allthe same way because they were
different, and I was trying toteach them all the same way, and
it wasn't gonna work out atall.
(11:31):
I couldn't have continued on.
So when that light bulb cameinto my mind and my life and my
homeschool space, I thenrealized that I need to teach
them differently, and what isthat gonna look like long term?
And so I began to findcurriculum for them as an
individual.
Yes, it took me all through theelementary years to figure that
(11:54):
out.
And you know what?
That's okay.
That's alright.
Once I started to look forcurriculum for each child as an
individual, based off of howthey learn, one is more of a
visual learner like myself,whereas another one is just, you
know, buy the book, strict,give me the book, I will read
every single page and everyword.
(12:14):
I don't need to skim throughbecause that's you know a rule
follower type of thing.
And my other child, she's kindof in between.
Once I figured that out, then Istarted to think of the end in
my that I need to set them upfor success based off of how
they think and how they operateindividually.
And so ever since then, I have,even with life skills, even
(12:36):
with responsibilities around thehome, I have just catered it to
them because that's why I'mhere as a mom, is to make sure
that I am catering to my kids sothat I can set them up for
success.
I am not trying to doeverything for them.
That's not what I mean bycatering.
I am just making sure that I'mnot doing it my way, but I'm
(12:56):
gonna do everything possible toset them up for success.
So let me take my 12th graderfor example.
He loves all things technology.
So before the school year wouldbegin, once I figured that out
for him, it was a seventh grade,then I would sit down with him
and show him what I thoughtwould be a good lineup for
curriculum, and we would look ateverything, and then I would
(13:17):
listen to his feedback.
Now, of course, you know, asthe parent and as the homeschool
mom teacher, there were a fewthings that I would say, okay,
we're going to do that no matterwhat.
What about these others?
And the one that I said we'regonna do no matter what, we can
tweak it so that it works foryou, right?
And then from there, we wouldlook at electives that my my
(13:41):
oldest was interested in, and Iwould show him different
curriculum and have him chooseand this, that, the other, and
we've been doing that eversince.
And I just make sure thateverything aligns with my
state's requirements, and I justmake sure that it is something
of interest for each of my kids.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, and that's hard to do when you have different
subjects that you have to meetfor the school requirements if
you're in one of those statesand you want to keep it
interesting, and so you'retrying to research curriculum
and how much time, like what didyour day-to-day look like?
You know, were you sitting withall three at once?
Did were they able to do someindependent work so you could
give some one-on-one attentionto the kids?
(14:23):
Are you able to work on, youknow, your own stuff?
Do you work?
How what did your day looklike?
How would you like me to enterthat for middle school or high
school?
I guess let's start from thebeginning, like you know, more
younger, more middle school, andthen you can kind of say what's
changed as it's gotten older.
Give us some hope.
Of course.
Speaker (14:39):
In middle school, I continued to do a lot of hand
holding because uh each each ofmy kids needed that hand
holding, with the exception ofone.
And that's the one that I wouldsay that I mentioned earlier
was um just give me the book,I'll read every page.
I'm a rule follower.
(15:00):
Not saying that my other kidsaren't a rule follower, it's
just that my my 10th, my current10th grader, is just um just
more has been more independentfrom the time she was born.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Thinking about homeschooling but don't know
where to start?
Well, I've interviewed a fewpeople on the topic.
Actually, 120 interviews atthis point with homeschooling
families from across the countryand the world.
And what I've done is I'vepacked everything I've learned
into an ebook called TheHomeschool How to Complete
Starter Guide.
From navigating your state'slaws to finding your
homeschooling style, fromworking while homeschooling to
(15:33):
supporting kids with specialneeds.
This guide covers it all withreal stories from real families
who've walked this path.
I've taken the best insights,the best resources, and put them
all into this guide.
Stop feeling overwhelmed andstart feeling confident.
Get your copy of the HomeschoolHow To complete starter guide
today and discover thathomeschooling isn't just about
education.
(15:54):
It's about getting what youwant out of each day, not what
somebody else wants out of you.
You can grab the link to thisebook in the show's description
or head on over to thehomeschoolhowto.com.
Speaker (16:05):
And so it's just natural for her to just hand a
book to her and she's donewithin an hour.
You know, it's it's just it's anatural groove for her.
And so in the 10th, excuse me,in the middle school years, I
just continued to hand hold andI would sit with them and we
would do our family subjects andthen they had individual work.
(16:26):
And in the middle school years,I just also made it a point to
try to make whatever subject Icould as independent as possible
because I knew that high schoolwas coming and they needed to
learn independence at somepoint, and learning
independence, at least in myeyes, in the 11th grade, is just
a tad too late.
Like full, it's just a tad toolate.
(16:48):
And so they needed just to bejust have a little bit more
independence as each year wentby.
And so we would wake up in themorning, we had a schedule, we
would wake up in the morning,we're all dressed, we're ready
to go, and we would have ourfamily time or our family
subjects in the morning, andmost of those subjects were
history, science, our Bibletime, some readers from the
(17:10):
morning basket, and we wouldcomplete all of those things,
and then I would assign theirwork using Google Classroom.
By the way, I found that to bea very useful source, and also a
clipboard with um what eachstudent was doing, and I would
cross things off as I checkedthem.
But we would go through ourmorning time together, and then
from there I would have them sitin their favorite spot or
(17:33):
whatever learning corner thatthey liked, right?
And then they would start someof their independent work, and I
would just monitor and walkaround, and when they needed
help, I was just there, I wasjust constantly just there.
I turned off my cell phone, Ididn't let that interrupt me.
We didn't have um a TV on orany of those things, and we were
(17:56):
pretty just on task, on task.
And for my current 10th graderthat I was mentioning, she would
tend to just want to get all ofher work done in no breaks.
Whereas my other two, they justliked breaks and they liked
snacks and they like to talk andboy, those good days, I tell
you.
And and that was okay.
I realized that was okay, and Ilet it be okay because that was
(18:20):
their personality.
They needed they needed minibreaks all over the place.
And once they got those minibreaks and I stopped trying to
control those mini breaks,everything was a lot smoother.
And so we would have um somedays they would be done at noon,
some days they'd be done attwo, some days they'd be done at
(18:40):
you know eleven.
For the most part, we wouldstart around nine.
So just to give you uh anexample there, we'd start around
nine, some people would be doneat eleven, two, it would vary.
But for the most part, I wouldsay on an average, we would be
done by 11 or 12 with everythingin those middle school years.
Um, in the high school, once itgot to eighth grade, and we'll
(19:01):
say ninth grade, things rampedup a little bit more and uh the
days got a little longer.
And I know that there are manyhomeschool families that keep to
uh a tighter three or four hourschedule, but my my kids just
aren't so, and that's alright.
Like I said, I have two thathave they like to have a fun
time chatting, and that's okay.
And then I have one that I meanshe she's just on it and she's
(19:25):
done.
She wants to get everythingdone, and then she relaxes.
The high school years areinteresting because there is a
lot of heavier work, hardierwork that is involved, and I
feel as if there are more thingsto register and digest so that
you can make sure that youunderstand.
(19:46):
And I let's see, I'm thinkingof math right now, right?
And so we get into the algebraone, algebra two, geometry,
pre-calculus, and those type ofsubjects.
And if you really want tomaster the that's okay, if you
really want to master it, itmight cause you, like it does
sometimes my kids, it mightcause you an hour of okay, I
(20:09):
can't get this, I can't getthis, and then you take two
hours off and then you comeback.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah.
Isn't that such a luxury tohave that time to do that?
Let your brain rest and comeback to it.
Speaker (20:18):
Yep.
And so just depending on uhlet's just take my oldest,
because that's the best exampleI I have right now.
Ninth grade was I was nervous,I was anxious, he was nervous,
he was anxious.
And those first few months,they were challenging because
you're just trying to make sureyou do all the high school
things right, only to come tofind out that you're not really
(20:42):
doing anything different thanwhat you did in elementary and
middle school.
The only thing that you'redoing different that you're
adding on is your record keepinglooks different because it's
called a transcript.
Okay.
And the books cost more.
Like, seriously, that's prettymuch it.
That's pretty much the biggestdifference.
Subjects are hardier.
I mean, you still have to, youstill have a certain element of
(21:04):
I need to master the concept inthe middle school years and all
that.
You still have that.
It just might take a little bitlonger, depending on your child
in high school.
But ninth grade, once I figuredthat part out, and that was
about four months in, we're notdoing anything really
differently here, right?
I'm still walking beside.
I'm still hand holding, right?
I'm gonna start loosening upmore, but I'm still hand holding
(21:26):
to make sure that I'm not justkicking them off to the wayside.
My record keeping is now calleda transcript.
I still need to make sure thatthey are on task and being
accountable and payingattention, and I'm not just
gonna say, Oh, you're in highschool now, figure it out.
Not gonna do that.
And then we move into 10thgrade, and things are rocking
and rolling because we gotthrough the ninth grade year and
(21:48):
all of the jitters, right?
And 10th grade I feel wasactually more difficult for
myself and uh my 10th grader atthe time.
Uh, I thought it was moredifficult for him because ninth
grade is kind of a cushion ofsorts, and if you get that, not
that if you get it wrong, butit's it's a cushion because
you're repeating or you'rereviewing, excuse me, a lot of
(22:11):
things that you learned in theeighth grade.
Tieding in, it does now matteron a transcript of sorts.
10th grader, excuse me, in 10thgrade, if you outsource it or
or if you have a co-op class orsomething like that, the
instructors are expecting you toknow what you're doing.
You're not in ninth gradeanymore, you're in tenth grade
now, you know?
So that's only if you outsourceit.
(22:32):
And I also think with myself,when I was teaching some of the
subjects for my son who was a10th grader at the time, I now
expected more out of him.
So in 10th grade, you kind ofexpect more out of your child
because you're like, okay,listen, we're in high school
now, let's let's figure thisout.
You're not kind of babying themanymore.
11th grade was good because itjust seemed to flow because now
(22:54):
we're in our flowing season.
But you think to yourself, waita minute, I gotta get this
transcript together.
Next year is called graduation.
What do we need to do?
So in the 11th grade, thingswere smoother, but now you're in
that mode of, okay, we'regetting to the end, but we're
not there yet.
I still have some time.
And in the 11th grade, we did alot of um, is there anything we
(23:16):
need to clean up?
Is there anything that we needto repeat?
Is there anything that you knowyou're truly interested in that
we can add as an elective?
Or do you want to do morescience or math because you're
going into the field oftechnology?
Like, what what is it?
Let's ch talk about that more.
You kind of turn into aguidance counselor very quickly
around 10 and 11.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Do you have the liberty to pick and choose?
Like I talked to some familiesthat are like, we do Latin, and
I'm thinking to myself, oh myGod, I never be doing Latin.
I mean, I also said I'd neverhomeschool, so who knows?
Maybe I'll be speaking Latin in10 years.
But um, you know, when you isthere something that says these
are all the things that you haveto do?
And I know that like I'm in thestate of New York, it says, you
(23:59):
know, you have to test everyyear in high school.
Um, so there's obviously somethings that they have to know.
But like you also mentioned,oh, you're into science and
technology.
What more can we add?
Where you can go on and pickand choose from like the place
that you get your curriculum ormaybe a college course.
And how did you do that?
How do you know that you'redoing enough?
Speaker (24:17):
Perfect question.
Thank you.
When I started, I didn't knowhow to do this.
When I when I jumped into themiddle school years, I figured I
had to figure this out.
So, what I did, and what Iencourage others who ask, is
this the first thing I did was,and let me put a little
disclaimer here.
Depending on where you are, thestate may lay it all out for
(24:38):
you.
You have to do A, B, C, E, F,G.
There's no wiggle room.
So start with your state'srequirements for homeschoolers,
whatever that looks like.
That's the first part.
I don't have any requirements,so that's cool.
However, I had to think tomyself, my son may go to
college.
My son, that's he's in the 12thgrade.
He might go to college, hemight not.
And if he doesn't, and that'snot his path, that's okay.
(25:02):
However, I am I personally, myhusband and I, we're gonna set
him up as if he might go tocollege so that he already has
the check marks and we don'thave to backtrack.
And if he doesn't, then he'salready set up good to go.
So, how do we do that?
Two things.
I looked at the local publicschools and I saw what their
requirements were for highschool.
(25:24):
A lot of um high schools theyjust have it on their website,
and so I looked at therequirements and they said four
years of English and four yearsof, you know, this specific
math, and you need your statehistory and this, this, that,
the other.
The second thing I did was Ilooked at a local community
college and college to see whatthey are requiring of
(25:47):
homeschoolers.
Many, many, many, many collegeshave that on their website
these days because of 2020, whathappened in 2020.
That's good to know.
I took, yeah, I took those twoareas, so the local high school,
the public high school, and Ialso looked at local private
(26:08):
schools, and it was all in onethe same because you're if
you're in a private school or apublic school, you need the
graduation requirementsaccording to the state in order
to graduate.
And so I looked at that for thelocal school, we'll say that,
and then I looked at a localcollege, and like I said, a lot
of them have a um, you can justtype in homeschool at the
(26:28):
University of New York, right?
And then you can see what popsup for the requirements.
And then I printed that out andI did a compare and contrast,
and then from there, since mystate that I live in doesn't
have any requirements, I said,okay, this is what we're gonna
do, this is what we're not gonnado, this is what we're gonna
do, this is what we're not gonnado.
And that's how I came up withmaking sure that my son would
(26:51):
have enough.
And we're following suit for myother two kids as well.
And so we had a lot of libertyin choosing classes that were
miscellaneous courses that werenot on the local um public
school requirements or thecollege requirements because
where I live, I don't have anyrequirements.
(27:13):
But I just made sure if it said22 credits, high school credits
to graduate, I made sure thatmy son had 30 or whatever it is,
27 or more, just as a littlecushion.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Okay, nice.
Yeah, I a lot of people haveyoung kids now getting into
this, so it's reallyenlightening, informative for us
to kind of have that long-termpicture.
And I that's kind of what I'velearned to tell people to have a
long-term goal in mind, even ifthey're little, even if they're
seven, six years old.
Like, are you prepping forcollege?
Obviously, that's gonna look Ithink it'll look so different in
(27:46):
10 years when my child is readyto go.
I think college admissions aregonna be way down because people
are going to realize, oh, Iactually don't need the degree.
I don't have to spend $200,000to, you know, own my own
business or, you know, whateverit is that work in technology,
even um, a lot of it willprobably be hands-on
(28:07):
apprenticeships, which would beawesome.
I guess not for the collegesfor us or the people in student
loans.
So, okay.
Now, did you have to leave ajob in order to decide to
homeschool?
Because that was a big thingfor me.
I quit a government job and Ithought I was like crazy.
I'm like, oh my God, who walksaway from a pension?
But now that I've been out of acubicle and living with my kids
(28:31):
in the outdoors and learningactual real stuff and not just
pushing emails around, I'm like,I can't believe I sat in a
cubicle for 16 years.
What's crazy?
Speaker (28:42):
So, how did that look for you?
My journey was a littledifferent.
When I married my husband, Iwas on a corporate ladder.
And hence why I said, I am nothomeschooling, just don't even
bother.
Kudos to you.
Good for you that you werehomeschooled, but I'm not doing
it.
And so I was already on acorporate ladder just doing my
(29:03):
thing.
Unfortunately, I became illwith my asthma, and so I before
I even thought abouthomeschooling, I had to stop
working.
And so that's my story is alittle different on that end.
Anyway, I'm doing fine now, andso my work involves just
homeschooling these three highschoolers.
(29:23):
That is a it's a lot.
I'm a coach, I'm a guidancecounselor, I'm whatever you want
to say.
Um, it it is not that it's alot of work, you have to think
through a lot of things just tomake sure that they are getting
where they need to be.
And so I've done a lot ofresearch.
I'm a researcher, I mean, soyeah, so my work just looks a
little different now.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, you don't get the three breaks a day or maybe
the paycheck with the time off,but it's worth it.
Speaker (29:51):
And that's okay.
Yeah, that's okay.
And you know, it's a it's anemotional, it's an emotional
package these days.
Lots of my Milestones.
So to the audience that youhave with the younger kids,
right?
Um, and you are going throughall of these milestones.
I am going through the same.
(30:12):
You will repeat thesemilestones just with your ones
right now.
Older.
And what do I mean by that?
Just about, let's see, justabout an hour ago, my son
returned from driving from work.
So he started a job about twomonths ago.
So that's a milestone.
And today was his first daydriving to work on his own.
(30:35):
That's a milestone.
Those are just just big things,you know, that come about.
Um, so happy for him, very,very proud.
So you go through the drivingschool and you you just go
through all of these differentlittle things, different little
milestones.
So, to your younger audience,something I posted on my
Instagram today is that in theblink of an eye, all of what
(31:00):
you're going through, those harddays, the days when you think
you are not going to getthrough, like there were so
many, and I mean so many days,especially in the elementary
years.
I don't know what was happeningin the most elementary years.
I was like, I'm done.
I am done.
Somebody come get these kids.
I'm done.
I'm not doing this anymore.
(31:21):
And I'm so happy that Icontinued on.
I'm so happy that there werepeople that I could reach out to
to just send me a hug through atext or just say, Oh no, you've
got this, CJ.
You're gonna do fine.
Or somebody to encourage me andsay, hey, just take a break.
Let them watch Mickey Mouse.
Just be done.
You know, be done for the day.
(31:42):
It's fine.
You have three kids close inage.
They're gonna be fine if youdon't teach them about the
ladybug and the bees and theflowers, and they're gonna be
okay.
Just take a break.
You, mom, you need a break.
Turn the TV on, be done.
Or have them read a book ofcolor.
Yeah.
(32:02):
And all of those milestonesthat they overcame when they
were younger now just lookdifferent.
And I'm grasping on to all ofthem, and I still have people
speak into my life and tell methat it's going to be okay.
So, to all of your the youngerparents that are listening, just
(32:24):
try your best.
I know how hard it is.
I know.
Try your best to enjoy whatevermoments you can and give
yourself as much grace as youpossibly can.
You are doing a fine job.
Even when you think you're not,you are doing a fine job.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
That is so wonderful to hear.
You know, you are so rightbecause And if you ask for it,
like you say, you know, give mea sign, you know, please to the
higher power up there to God.
Is this where I'm supposed tobe?
And you know, you'll get ananswer.
And it's funny because yeah,there are I I was talking to a
friend the other day.
I'm like, I have just l suchlittle patience.
(33:01):
She was talking about how muchpatience she has, and I'm like,
I am so envious because I justdidn't grow up in that
environment.
When I was a child, my parentshad zero patience for me.
I'm very high-strung people,and I'm trying with my kids.
Like like we'll be sitting intraffic and you know, we'll see
the ambulance up ahead.
And I'm like, okay, what mymother would have done is scream
(33:23):
not there, these effings.
But I was like, let's take thisopportunity to say, hey kids,
let's say a prayer for whoever'sin that car, and let's thank
God that it's not us, right?
Like, there's a reason that wehad to run back in the house and
try to like really say, butthen other days they're just at
each other's throats.
And I'm like, yo, people don'tlisten to me until I scream.
(33:45):
That's more days than not.
And you're right, becausesometimes I just we'll turn the
TV on and I feel guilty.
And then I'm like, you knowwhat?
I'm a human being though.
Like, this, if this is theworst thing that happened to
them today, that they watchblippy, then it's okay.
They're safe, they're loved,they're fed, they're going to
bed in clean, you know, bedstonight in a good home.
(34:07):
So, like, yeah, you're winning.
Speaker (34:08):
And let let me add this because there was so much mom
guilt in those elementary years.
So, to your um, your parentsthat are in that stage,
elementary and middle school.
Now, personally, I just I'veshut the noise, so I'm good to
go.
If somebody doesn't like whatyou're doing, you gotta move on.
You have to do whatever youneed to do for your sanity and
(34:30):
for your children, your familyin the homeschooling world.
You've gotta do whatever youneed to do to get to the next
day.
There were some days that Iwould just say, you know what?
We're gonna stop this activity.
Let's go to the park.
That is a whole learningexperience right there.
That is a whole learningexperience.
(34:52):
Trust me when I say that.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Have you taught your kids what to do in an emergency?
It's a conversation weshouldn't put off, and it's a
conversation we should haveoften.
That's why I wrote Let's TalkEmergencies, a book that covers
everything from dialing 911 on alocked cell phone to staying
safe online, water safety, firesafety, and more.
The most important lessons wecan teach our kids are not
reading, writing, and math.
(35:15):
They're how to keep themselvesand others safe.
In today's world ofuncertainty, give them the tools
they need.
Grab a copy today.
Check out the link in thisepisode's description.
Speaker (35:25):
And even in the middle school years, I did the same
thing.
Let's go for a walk.
We we need a break.
We all mom needs a break.
I need a break.
I need a break.
Let's go for a walk.
There was a couple of timesthat we went and got ice cream
in the middle of the day.
There have been times where Ijust said, you know what?
We're just gonna close thisbook.
We'll continue tomorrow.
You guys can go ahead and workon things quietly.
(35:47):
Let me know if you needanything.
Parents, let me tell you this.
The minute that you can turnoff the noise, that you can
disconnect from social media andwhat people are saying and
criticizing you.
Unfortunately, sometimes it'sfamily members or your neighbor
or what have you as well.
As soon as you can giveyourself grace and know that you
(36:08):
are doing a fine job, andwhatever you're choosing to do
is best for your family, it willbe smoother sailing from there
on out.
Trust me on that.
I learned that just a tad toolate.
Yeah.
And I wish I would havebelieved that a little earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And just like anything else, if they don't
know about it because they'venever researched homeschooling,
of course they're going to haveall the negative connotations
around it because you just hearwhat the social media or like,
you know, that one episode of ashow they saw when they were a
kid with the weird homeschool onit.
You know, and that they putthat stuff out there in TV
anyway on purpose because theydon't want people homeschooling.
(36:47):
So of course they're gonna makethem look weird.
But, you know, or they knew onehomeschooler that was weird
when they were a kid, but yeah,they don't think about all the
kids in their class that wereweird.
But yes, if you don't researchit, you don't know.
And that's the same withanything else, you know, whether
it's um how you treat yourcancer or you know, God forbid
that never happens.
But like, you know, I I wentdown a whole rabbit hole just
(37:10):
looking into that one day and Iwas like, oh my goodness.
Well, maybe so it's like,unless you actually take the
time to research, you're gonnahave that opinion.
So that's why your family, yourfriends have it.
And they also probably have alittle bit of what's the word,
not jealousy, but like, well,maybe I wasn't as good of a
parent because I sent my kids toschool.
I didn't think otherwise.
So maybe their insecurity andtheir own decisions is coming
(37:33):
out and how they're treating youabout that too.
So we gotta try to keep allthat in mind.
And I I had a friend call melast night for that exact thing.
She said, I can't even hang outwith my family anymore.
They tell me my kids aremisbehaved and they need to be
in school.
And she was all upset.
And I said, You know what?
They're they're five andseven-year-old boys, so they're
just rambunctious.
And she's like, I need to havesomething in my back pocket to
(37:55):
just be able to say to them.
So I spent all morning comingup with things and I put it on
my Instagram account too, whichI'll have to sh I'll have to
follow you.
I don't think I do.
And we'll put that in theshow's description if you want
people to follow your Instagramaccount and your YouTube.
But yeah, I spent all this timeputting together like the
benefits and you know, even allthe way to I was looking up the
psychology behind active shooterdrills because every kid has to
(38:17):
experience that now.
And it's like, okay, justbecause the school shooting
didn't happen to your child,they had to go through these
drills from a very young age.
And what's the trauma that thedrills themselves have?
And I was shocked to find thatthere are studies that show
there's like 40% higher rates ofanxiety and stress, and you
know, it it's a lot of a lot ofthings that, you know, I I was
(38:37):
researching and posted on up tothe food that's served in school
and what that's doing to thekids because there's you know
free and reduced lunch forpretty much every child now
because they don't want to havethat, you know, oh, point the
kid out that's getting the freelunch so everybody gets free
lunch.
So if I pack my kid with allorganic, healthy foods, they're
gonna be like, bro, this and thegarbage, it's pizza day.
Right.
(38:58):
You know, right.
What are some of the benefitsthat you've seen from
homeschooling since your kidsgrew up in the heart of the
technology and social media?
I I'll say more social media,because technology, that's not
necessarily the problem.
The social media in school wentfrom I went from I was in
college when Facebook came outin 2002 or so 2003, and now it's
(39:22):
everybody has a cell phone,everyone I mean, do you s what
do you allow your kids to haveor not have?
And what have you seen in theequivalent, like their peers
that do go to school?
Speaker (39:32):
Oh boy.
So my kids don't have socialmedia.
Yeah, yeah, they just don'thave social media, it's just
something that we've chosen notto do.
Last week, um, this asked forone portion of social media, so
we're chatting about that andwhat that means, and um that
makes sense, right?
(39:53):
He's 17, he's almost 18, 19,20, 21, and he just has been so
respectful in not asking aboutsocial media.
So little by little, he'sasking about this or that, and
we're exploring it together.
So you asked me about one ofthe benefits of what I've seen
with my kids growing up in thesocial media world or just being
(40:15):
at home homeschooled.
And one of the things is thatwe can have these conversations,
ongoing conversations aboutwhat social media does to young
people, and why we feel at thismoment it might not be the best
idea for you.
And so we've just had thosetype of conversations as they
come up here and there andeverywhere.
(40:36):
And then, like I said, lastweek my son inquired about a
social media platform, and sowe're discussing that and what
does that look like, the whybehind it.
So I may not be the best personto chat about social media in
teens.
Um, the research is out therefor all to see a lot of the
damage that it does.
There were a couple ofinstances that we were using
(40:58):
social media um together, and Iwas monitoring it, and this was
for I can't even recall, thiswas in 10th grade what it was
for.
But anyway, I was monitoring itas a parent of someone who just
exited ninth grade and now isentering 10th grade, and it was
a it was a group.
It was a group of people from ahistory class or something, and
(41:18):
they were continuing on.
Anyway, and that just went sourreally.
Philly, something so innocent.
Even with the parents in thatparticular social media
platform, it went sour.
It was bad very, very quickly.
People being rude to eachother.
It went from rude to it just,yeah, it was bad.
I will, I will not repeat.
(41:39):
It was bad.
And and parents were in there.
Parents were in this, and so itwas a great test of and here's
the thing.
Here is the thing.
There were three or four of thekids, one of my kids being one
of them, that was trying to turnthe narrative.
You guys, this is not the wayto do this.
This is not right.
And um, it still just wentsour.
(42:00):
And so, yeah, we we talkedthrough.
Even with the homeschooledkids, geez.
Yeah, I I mean it it happens,and I'm gonna, yeah, it happens,
unfortunately.
And that's why it's importantfor you to surround your
homeschool life and space withpeople who are gonna be
encouraging and uplifting to youfrom the parents all the way
down, and to encourage your kidsto do the same.
(42:23):
I'm not saying that you cannotbe friends with people who are
not homeschoolers because forthe longest time I thought that
way myself.
I didn't think I could havefriends outside of the
homeschooling community, andsome of my best friends to this
day don't homeschool, and that'sfine.
I I am here to say that that isjust fine, and we can, you
know, be civil to one anotherand we can hang out and
(42:46):
encourage one another.
And I myself and and my kids,we went to one of our friends'
volleyball games and supportedhim at his school.
Uh, I f I feel that that isjust fine.
But even in the homeschoolingcommunity, you have to be
careful who you listen to, youhave to be careful who you
follow, and you just want tomake wise decisions and make
(43:09):
sure that you are teaching yourkids to do the same.
And you have a lot ofopportunity to do so because
they are home with you.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Yeah, and you know, even in the homeschooling
community, I've definitely seenwhere we hang out with one group
and like, okay, there's thatkid that really, you know,
sticks out and ha having like abully, a very aggressive bully
situation, you know.
So, okay, well, I don't and yougotta kind of is this something
that that kid's just learningthrough, or is this an innate
behavior, something going on inthe home, kind of like you
(43:38):
mentioned in the beginning withthe the classroom?
Right.
Something going on in the homethat, you know, so do we want to
be a part of that?
And and then even with anothergroup that we currently hang
with, you know, in the beginningwhen we were the new people and
my son was the youngest, andit's like they've already
established their friendships.
And of course, he was, Iwouldn't go so far as calling it
bullying, because I think everpeople call everything bullying
(44:00):
these days.
Whenever anyone's feelings arehurt, it's oh, they were
bullying you.
But no, it was just that my kidwas the youngest, probably
annoying to the older kids, youknow, wanting to tag along and
be there and be goofy.
And, you know, they werealready established friends.
So of course there was likethat era where it's like he
would just go off by himselfbecause he'd feel left out.
And it broke my heart, and ithappened almost in every
(44:23):
situation, every group situationwe were in with him, he would
just go off by himself.
And I worried so much.
And then, you know, we've beendoing this a couple of years
now, and he's so he's known thekids a couple of years now.
We've done a camping triptogether, we see them all the
time.
So they have created more of abond.
They've they've discovered thatthey all like to fish together,
they've discovered that theyall like to bike together.
(44:43):
So, like those things grow.
They're not gonna happen yourfirst visit to the homeschool
group, you know.
Even the moms are not gonna belike welcoming you in with open
arms because they're probablyused to seeing people come in
and out and in and out, and youknow, you're here just to test
the waters, or you know, you'rehere and then you actually you
just summer break and thenyou're sending your kid to
school in the fall.
So they kind of need to seeyour face too to know that
(45:05):
you're serious and get to knowyou.
Right.
So it's hard, even though it'sit's homeschooling, and we're
all there for wanting the bestfor our kids, it's still we're
all humans with our ownbackgrounds and coming in with
that pre-existing knowledge orbaggage, whatever we want to
call it.
But can you tell us a littlebit about your YouTube page
before we round out the hourtoo?
(45:26):
Because you have a YouTube pagethat um is has so much good
information on it.
Speaker (45:30):
Yeah, so my YouTube channel is homeschooling through
high school, same with myInstagram page, and I just post
videos on there recently.
I've been receiving requests topost a lot of videos about the
high school senior year, andwhat does that look like and
what does that entail from the,you know, what is a FASFO?
What is a transcript?
(45:50):
How how do you deal withemotions?
How do you handle it as a mom?
So I just post a lot of thingsabout the middle school and the
high school years as ahomeschooler, and every now and
then I post some other funthings as well on my Instagram
page, homeschooling through highschool, the same.
I just post a lot ofencouragement just because I was
(46:12):
I had one person who pouredinto me so much and encouraged
me when they didn't need to, andI will never forget that.
So I like to post a lot ofencouraged, encouraging posts
and reels to uplift anyhomeschooler that I can.
And then I post about coffeeand stuff like that sometimes
too.
I just hit follow.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
I just hit follow on your page.
I can't believe I wasn'tfollowing you.
I guess I knew that you had theYouTube.
I didn't know that you were umon Instagram too.
So yeah, this looks so fun.
I love this.
You're so colorful and all thestuff that you put on here.
So great.
Even just looking at the page,I'm uplifted.
And I can I put a link to thisand your YouTube page in the
show's description so people caneasily find it.
(46:54):
Yes, thank you so much.
Awesome.
Anything else you're working onthat you wanted to talk about
or say before we close out forthe hour?
Speaker (47:00):
I want to, I should make a video about this.
The the myths behindhomeschooling high schoolers and
teens.
It's um, you know, one of themost important things that I
figured out is that if you haveopen communication with your
teens and have them involved inthe process of high school,
things will go a lot smootherfor you.
(47:22):
And the most important thing asa parent is to make sure that
at the end of the day, at thebeginning of the day, in the
middle of the day, you have arelationship with your child.
The curriculum, the books, themath smarts, etc.
All of that stuff.
It will be it will be there.
But your relationship with yourchild through the high school
(47:42):
years is so crucial.
It is so crucial, and it's veryimportant to do whatever you
need to do to keep thatrelationship very, very, very,
very strong.
And so do fun things with yourteen.
Find out what they want to doand do it.
And I think the high schoolyears, even middle school, start
(48:03):
in middle school.
Um sometimes it's hard to getthat one-on-one time in the
elementary years, but if you canmake it a point to separate
some time in the middle schoolyears and definitely in the high
school years, and haveone-on-one just fun time because
remember, you're always theteacher now.
You're always the person that'stelling them not only the
(48:25):
responsibilities they need to doin the house and the chores and
the this and the that, butyou're also guiding them with
their schoolwork.
You gotta have some fun inthere.
And teenagers still wanna havefun and do all the fun things
that they did when they weresmaller.
It just looks different, youknow.
Um, it just looks a littledifferent.
My son and I, we go to Costco.
That's one of our littleoutings, and he gets whatever
(48:47):
little treat he wants here andthere, you know, or maybe not,
but that's he liked Costco, Ilike Costco, so we go to Costco.
That might not be foreverybody, but that's what we
do.
And let's see.
I think last week we went to InN Out.
After his college class, wewent to In N Out because that's
what I figured we would do forthe week.
And that's about the amount oftime that he has.
(49:08):
So we just continue to dolittle things, whatever that
might be.
Also, last week he was doingsomething with some technology
thing, so I decided to just sitthere and just ask him a couple
questions about it because he'sinterested in it.
So I need to find an interestin it as well.
And I'm just giving youexamples.
Stay connected with your child.
I I promise you, the highschool years, the middle school
(49:31):
years will be all that so muchmore and be smoother if you do
so.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Oh, I love that.
And you're so right.
And even when they're little,I've noticed with my son, if I
take the time to shut that phoneoff and sit down with him just
to play a board game for, youknow, 20 minutes, a half hour,
whatever it is, or a card game.
Now that he's getting to thatage where he can play and do all
that stuff on his own, like wehave fun, you know, bonding over
(49:56):
that.
And I need to get back intothat because I think we kind of
lost it over the summer becauseit's nice out and he's out
playing and stuff, but it's soimportant.
And then car rides too is agreat opportunity to talk, you
know.
Don't just have on, okay, we'relistening to our book on tape,
or I'm listening to my podcastand you listen to your stuff
back there, you know, or we'rejust playing music.
Like you can shut it off andtalk about things, anything that
(50:18):
comes up, or hey, whoever seesa hawk first gets a point, or
who can read that sign comingup, or who can find the first B?
You know, little things likethat where I've noticed, like,
oh, that brought up conversationbetween us where I normally
would have just had, you know, apodcast play-in that I, you
know, missed last week.
And those those littleopportunities, they really do
(50:38):
mean a lot to the kids, evenwhen we're yelling and screaming
at them later in the day.
Speaker (50:42):
Yeah, they do.
They really, really do.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
Yeah, CJ, thank you so much for joining me today.
This has been so nice toreconnect with you, and I can't
wait to maybe talk to you aftergraduation for your son, and you
can let us know how that wentand what else we can expect.
Speaker (50:57):
Yes, it's it's coming.
I'm I'm very happy.
I'm very happy about that.
I will have my emotions, ofcourse.
The whole family will, but I'mexcited.
I'm excited.
Um, congratulations on that.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
You did it! Thank you, CJ.
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
(51:28):
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation!
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!