September 3, 2024 • 21 mins
What if the key to overcoming trauma and achieving true maturity lies in joy-filled relationships and faith? Join me, Jason Hopkins, as I share the third portion of our new series, "Jar of Clay." Inspired by the book "Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You," we explore the concept of biblical maturity and how 'joy strength' and the brain's incredible capacity to grow its joy center are foundational in developing maturity. We discuss the critical role of unconditional love, trust, and bonding in the differing stages of maturity, setting the stage for growth and healing.
In this episode, we also tackle the cycles of transformation and healing. Facing traumas with honesty can lead to a more mature and whole self, and I encourage those feeling isolated in their recovery journey to re-engage with their communities. For those ready to embrace faith in Jesus Christ, I offer a prayer of salvation and invite them to find a supportive faith community and immerse themselves in scripture. As we express gratitude to our supporters and outline ways to further engage with our podcast, we also preview our next topic on how the brain recovers from trauma. This episode is designed to inspire and guide you toward redemption and purpose in Christ. Join us and become a part of this transformative journey.
Are you inspired by what you hear today? Jason deeply appreciates his listeners taking their time to listening, downloading, and sharing The Hopeful Perspective Podcast. Please help me spread 'hope' to others by writing a review for the podcast making it reachable for all who need to be inspired, encouraged, and changed by hoping once again. Further, understand that downloading the podcast is a surefire way to help increase the algorithm thus the reach of The Hopeful Perspective, even if you delete the episode after listening so as to not affect your data storage. I have also provided a (Support the Show) link DIRECTLY ABOVE THIS PARAGRAPH to click on for those who have shared with me they are "all in" and feel called to financially support the mission and vision of The Hopeful Perspective. A special thank you to those who have made this humble step to financially support the podcast. Without you, there is no US!
Jason Hopkins can also be reached on Facebook as well as Instagram and Threads (jayhop9953). You can also follow 'The Hopeful Perspective' FB page; where you can find more information as well as learn about upcoming news and episodes on the The Hopeful Perspective Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Hopeful Perspective Podcast.
I am your host, jason Hopkins.
This podcast is designed togive you a perspective of hope
that impacts your daily life inan authentic and tangible way.
I have shared my life story,which illustrates God's glory
through my own personalexperiences overcoming child
(00:21):
abuse and trauma, 26 fosterhomes and institutions, various
diagnosis affecting methroughout my life and an
eventual brain tumor resultingin multiple brain surgeries on
my brain stem.
I have moved from merely asurviving former victim to a
faithful and godly, thrivingvictor who has moved to helping
(00:41):
others discover hope.
Though my past was full of painand suffering, I have been
restored with purpose andsanctification.
I have been redeemed.
I have also been called tofollow Christ in my redemption.
Now I want to take a moment tothank you for listening and, if
you have been doing so, takingthe time to download our
(01:03):
episodes, as when you download,along with rating our podcast
with an honest response, youhelp the algorithm immensely to
spread our reach.
However, our stats demonstratethat while thousands listened
and streamed the hopefulperspective, less than 10%
actually download our episodes.
Please consider bridging thegap to broadening that reach for
(01:26):
us.
We have also provided a fewoptions to either contact our
show with your direct feedback,as well as to support the
podcast financially, if you arecalled to partner with us in
bringing hope to a hurting world.
Last week, we continued our newseries entitled Jar of Clay
world.
Last week, we continued our newseries entitled Jar of Clay.
Why Jar of Clay, you ask?
(01:47):
In scripture, we, as God'speople, are often described as
jars of clay to illustrate ourfragility and our weakness.
Yet the Bible also uses ametaphor to show that God's
power belongs to him, not to us,and that His power shines
through us broken jars of clay.
(02:08):
This is also a series based onthe healing resource, a book
entitled Living from the HeartJesus Gave you, one that has
deeply impacted my personaljourney as a broken jar of clay
living with dissociativeidentity disorder, and how this
book helped me to live and evenlead when I battled this rare
(02:29):
and intense personality disorder.
I strongly urge you to grab thebook Living from the Heart
Jesus Gave you, written byWilder, friesen, Kopke, bierling
and Poole, if you want to learnmore about trusting Him with
your past wounds, so you too canmove into your future promises.
Though it is a quick read, itis a treasure chest of biblical
(02:53):
nuggets for anyone who needs tomove from past grief to future
glory in Christ.
Before we get started today, Iwant to compel you to grab your
favorite snack, hot or coldbeverage, get comfortable and
come on this journey with me aswe explore more of the treasure
chests found in Living from theHeart Jesus Gave you.
(03:15):
We left off last time in ourdiscussion, weighing the
positive effects of community,of having a therapist who is
grounded in faith, yet alsoapplying the innovations of
today's neuropsychology, as wellas what it means to move
towards biblical wholeness andrecovery.
We have begun to look at whatthe life model is and what
principles and values livingfrom the heart Jesus gave you as
(03:38):
a resource employs its readersto adhere to and to live by.
Today we are going to bediscussing the concept of
biblical maturity.
Living from the heart Jesusgave you defines maturity as
reaching one's God's givingpotential, maximizing our skills
, our talents and using themeffectively.
(04:00):
We needed to lay the foundationwe have to this point, much
like a carpenter lays thefoundation of a house by
discussing what it means to havesufficient joy strength lays
the foundation for all othermaturity and growth in our
development.
People who develop withoutproper joy strength or joy
(04:21):
capacity in the right side ofthe brain can appear just fine
for the first 20 or even 30years of their life, but
eventually the trials andtribulation reveal the faulty
joy foundations laid due totheir early traumas in their
life.
I have said this before, but Ilove how God's word and God's
(04:42):
world do not contradictthemselves.
We touched on this fact lastepisode that he and his
omnipotent wisdom accounted forthe deficiencies in our brain
structure that would happen dueto sin and trauma.
How does his sovereign handmagnify and glorify himself, you
wonder?
The Father created the brainwith the capacity to compensate
(05:06):
accordingly.
You see, while most of thebrain stops growing at certain
stages of development, thebrain's joy center, located in
the right orbital prefrontalcortex, is the only part of our
brain that never loses itscapacity to grow.
Now your next question may behow does our joy strength or joy
(05:27):
capacity develop?
Again, I have said this beforeand I learned this firsthand in
my own healing.
This occurs within healthy,authentic, joy-filled
relationships.
The beauty of this is that wecan grow this part of our brain
at any age, so you can heal fromyour trauma, no matter what age
(05:49):
.
You initiate the process, muchlike our discipleship process
and our becoming like Christ.
The maturation process in thelife model that Living From the
Heart Jesus gave you, neverstops occurring.
Maturity never ends and, as aresult, our need for
relationship never changes.
(06:11):
In order to understand thisbetter, the life model takes us
through the various stages ofmaturity, that is, in fact,
irrespective of our age.
Each stage has maturityrequirements in the form of
needs and tasks that one has toaccomplish and perform to move
beyond the stage.
Let's take a look for the restof our episode at these various
(06:34):
stages.
The first maturity stage one hasto move beyond is the infant
stage, or the 0-3 years.
In this stage, the fundamentalneed is to receive unconditional
love and care, where receivingalways precedes giving.
Parents supply.
The infant's needs to be fed,nurtured, changed, hugged, etc.
(06:58):
Developing trust throughbonding with parents is so
crucial as it requires time,togetherness and the power of
touch with both parents involved.
We begin forming at this infantstage our basic pictures of our
identity and our senses ofbelonging and value.
(07:20):
As we have previously discussed, our initial joy development is
crucial and the foundation atthis early stage crucial and the
foundation at this early stage.
We need to be the sparkle inour parents' eyes, and we need
to learn that joy is our normalstate of being.
These form the conditions thatactually grow our joy center of
(07:40):
the brain, which in turn haveexecutive control over our
emotional systems, the rest ofour lives.
Once these needs have been met,then we can obviously care for
ourselves.
When these needs and ourmaturity go unmet, then we spend
the rest of our lives trying toget others to take care of us.
(08:01):
Adult infants, if you will, whohave not yet received in these
most basic of areas, will comeoff as needy adults.
They will have a difficult timehandling their emotions and
they will have a difficult timeappropriately receiving things
from others.
Further, they will havedifficulty handling valid and
constructive criticism ornegative feedback and receive
(08:23):
anything like this as personalattack.
Relationships with one caughtin the adult-infant stage are
often severely complicated, asmanipulation such as fear
bonding will be used so that youwill remain in relationship to
them.
I myself was at the infantstage well into my adolescence
and possibly into my youngadulthood, because I didn't
(08:45):
start receiving the help Ineeded nor the joy strength
necessary until I was a youngadult.
As a result, I know that myrelationships were often what
are called the chaotic bond,which we will discuss at a later
time.
For now, it suffices to saythat I would draw people close
because I sincerely wanted to beclose to them, yet I also was
(09:07):
genuinely scared when they wouldbe too close, so I would push
them away through sabotaging therelationship.
The next stage of maturity isthat of the child, or the 4
through 12 year range.
The child at the right age iscapable of communicating what
they think and feel and,therefore, appropriately, what
they need.
Learning to care for oneselfrequires that you master several
(09:32):
of the tasks we discussedbefore.
Children learn what brings themsatisfaction, and if they do
not learn, then others will bethe deciding force.
Further, as a child, we have tolearn how to do hard things,
which requires us to learnpatience, and that will take
parental guidance.
We see an erroneous entitlementmentality in the West today,
(09:56):
where literal generations aregrowing up seemingly skipping
this key foundational step intheir development.
Children also develop theirpersonal talents, or else they
fill their lives withunproductive activities.
Children also learn self-care,which requires a sense of
knowing their self and makingthemselves known to others.
(10:17):
This also entails having asense of boundaries.
That necessitates knowing whereI end and you begin and
respecting one another, childadults or those who are adults
in children bodies will behighly egocentric.
You will go away feelingdrained, as though, in order to
(10:38):
maintain relationship with oneof them, you will always need to
give more to them, listen moreto them and tolerate more than
they would go or be to anyoneelse.
Now they can take care ofthemselves, but they can only
take care of themselves with theexception of anyone else around
them.
(10:59):
When a child moves to an adultstage, or 13 years to the birth
of their own first child, youwill know this.
When they shift from beingegocentric to both-centric.
As Living from the Heart JesusGives you states.
Mutuality is the trademark ofan adult because he or she can
take care of two people at thesame time.
(11:20):
Adults know how to remainstable themselves, and this
point is crucial.
They can return themselves, aswell as others, to joy.
This is so important as amarker because people at lesser
developed stages will stillavoid escape or get stuck in
emotions which will cripple andaffect relationships.
(11:42):
Adult-level relationships arecapable of bonding with peers
and develop a group identity.
The next stage for discussionis the parent or the first birth
, until the youngest childbecomes an adult Again.
We know that just having a childdoesn't place me at this stage
(12:03):
by default, as I myself canattest in my own story.
I had three children and yetwas stuck at lower stages in my
own maturity for some time.
Yet you know, you are at theparent stage when you can
sacrificially care for yourchildren without expecting to
receive anything in return.
Without expecting to receiveanything in return, we know that
(12:23):
we often feel exhausted,overwhelmed and, honestly, I
have often even felt begrudgedor underappreciated.
Anyone who has had teenagerscan attest to this one.
It is one thing to feel burntout on occasion and another to
become entitled as a parent toourselves.
Though, believe it or not,there are parents who feel like
(12:47):
they should not have tosacrifice their time, money or
social lives just because theyhave dependents.
Now, to be clear, this isactually a sign of their own
childhood trauma.
Before we begrudge or hate uponanyone like this that we may
know, mature parents also learnthat they can involve other
spiritual authorities into theirfamily dynamic or the fabric of
(13:09):
their lives to help in therearing of their children's
lives.
Whether it's grandparents,other family members, good
Christian friends, pastors,mentors, there are many people
who are going to help shape thepromises and purposes our
children are called to have, andmature parents will see this.
They will also have the abilityto walk their children through
(13:31):
difficult times.
Yet, as you can probably guess,return to joy, which is forever
important as it is how the Lordcreated us.
The final stage of maturitybegins when our final child
becomes an adult.
Living from the heart Jesusgave you makes a point that,
(13:51):
sadly, most people in ourculture do not make it to this
point in their spiritual oremotional maturity.
This is unfortunate, as thesuccess of any community, church
, family, school or even aculture will have a direct
correlation to the presence oftrue elders.
Guiding and advising A trueelder can be themselves in the
(14:15):
midst of a difficulty.
They have the ability to helpfigure out what a community has
been designed by the Lord to be,rather than by imposing their
own designs upon that community.
True elders value all communitymembers as the Lord sees them.
They parent and mature as manyfrom the community as they are
able to.
(14:36):
They are able to handlecriticism, they speak truth
regardless if it is popular oreasy, and they empower the youth
of the next generation.
And true elders are able toidentify spiritual orphans who
need to be adopted and cared forjust as they cared for their
own children.
I'm not sure I have reached thestage of elder yet, though I can
(14:58):
certainly identify the eldersin my life who have made the
impact of spiritually adoptingme and influencing me in such a
way that I know I am a child ofGod and I belong to His family
and I can hear His voice.
I look to these elders muchlike, I think, some look to
their own biological fathers.
I am grateful for theirpresence and their guidance in
(15:21):
my life, and I know that incertain days my whole faith has
been restored, in part becauseof their faithfulness to me.
I know that I have learned thatmaturity never ends and that I
have never stopped meeting otherpeople.
I have thrived when I have beenin community or even just
committed myself to the processof connecting with others to get
(15:44):
unstuck in the areas of myprogress.
Another thing that, living Fromthe Heart Jesus gave you, points
out is what is called atransformation cycle.
That can take place throughoutour life.
I have found this to be true aswell.
The transformation cycles canoften be accompanied by anxiety,
depression or other newfeelings that can be
(16:07):
overwhelming.
They can follow healing orcompletion of one of the
previously stated maturitystages.
Transformation gives a person anew identity when the old one
is broken.
The pain can be intense, yetthat is part of the cycle
leading to wholeness.
As the cycle is completed, amore fully developed, mature
(16:31):
self emerges with additionallife skills and, of course, with
increased joy.
And this is the defining factorof the maturity process that we
are required to face our traumawith honesty and authenticity,
even when the results can bepainful, broken and seemingly
(16:52):
tragic.
Yet God is repairing at ourcore because a transformation
cycle is being allowed to becompleted due to our bravery to
push through, leading to higherlevels of maturity and joy.
And this is God showing us whatis hope.
(17:13):
Yet maybe some of you arefeeling isolated from your
community.
Maybe some of you are feelinghopeless.
Perhaps you are turning tolistening to podcasts as your
way of feeling included or partof something bigger than
yourself.
Maybe you are on your ownrecovery journey or have paused
(17:33):
your own trauma recovery asthings became difficult and it
is time to pick up the paceagain, as you feel the spirit
moving on you today, perhaps youare feeling called to give back
to your community and you needto move closer to the afflicted
or the lesser of these in yourchurch, family or your community
.
Maybe you are listening and youhave never made a decision to
(17:54):
follow Jesus Christ as your Lordand your Savior before today,
any direction you are sensingthe Spirit moving.
I would be remiss if we leftour time today without providing
an opportunity for us torespond, and I want to pray for
you right now.
If you're listening, eitheragree with this prayer or lift
those up that are intercedingright now.
(18:17):
Lord Jesus, I repent of my sinsand I surrender my life to you.
Wash me and cleanse me from allunforgiveness and pride.
I believe that you are the Sonof God, that you died on the
cross for the forgiveness of mysins and that you rose again on
the third day for my victory.
I believe that in my heart andmake confession with my mouth
(18:39):
that you, jesus, are my Lord andmy Savior and that your kingdom
is forever.
I want to live my lifeaccording to your terms and I
want you to change my reliancefor myself and any earthly
vessels.
I have placed hope and insteadI want to trust your plan and
ask for you to put the peopleand the processes and the models
(19:00):
to pursue restoration into mylife.
I ask for you to reveal to mewhere I have neglected the needs
of those who are broken aroundme, where I've become
indifferent, incapable or I'vebeen unable to unprioritize
those that need to feel the hopeof Christ.
Thank you for being a God ofmercy, a God of healing and a
God of truth.
(19:20):
Might I become a beacon of hopeto the hurting.
Give us the spiritual eyes tosee on earth as it is in heaven,
and may our priorities begin toreflect your heart and your
kingdom.
Jesus, it's in your name thatwe pray, amen.
If you have today agreed withthis prayer from the depths of
(19:41):
your heart, I welcome you to theeternal family of God and I
commend you.
If you've returned to the faith, I want to continue as an
encouragement for you to find anorthodox, biblical-based faith
family who worships the Lordpassionately.
Also, devote yourself to thereading of the scriptures, as
there is so much to grow, tolearn and to be discipled in as
(20:05):
it pertains to new life andmaturity in Christ.
Next time on the HopefulPerspective podcast, we will be
continuing our series in jars ofclay where we discuss the
concepts of how the brainrecovers from trauma.
As you can see, there is somuch that can be said short of
reading this book to you guys,word for word.
I hope, believe and pray thiswill be transformative for
(20:29):
whoever listens, at whateverstage in development that you
are in.
So I am looking forward tobeing with you next time on the
Hopeful Perspective podcast.
Until then, I want to thank youfor joining me along this
journey.
Until then, I want to thank youfor joining me along this
journey and if you'd be so kindto follow, subscribe and, most
importantly, to rate and write areview for others on your
(20:49):
platform who may need thehopeful perspective in their
life.
Did you know that you cancontribute monetarily by
pressing our support, the showlink that is embedded on your
platform and episodedescriptions?
All of your contributions areutilized to grow the podcast, to
multiply our equipment, tobroaden our reach and to share
(21:10):
the hope of Christ.
I want to shout out mygratitude to the multiple new
donors who already have madethis commitment to support the
podcast financially.
Without you, it would not bepossible to reach as many people
with the messages we do, oranyone who needs to be reminded
that hope is real.
So thank you so much in advanceand until next time, remember
(21:35):
you are loved.
Welcome to the Hopeful Perspective Podcast.
I am your host, jason Hopkins.
This podcast is designed togive you a perspective of hope
that impacts your daily life inan authentic and tangible way.
I have shared my life story,which illustrates God's glory
through my own personalexperiences overcoming child
(00:21):
abuse and trauma, 26 fosterhomes and institutions, various
diagnosis affecting methroughout my life and an
eventual brain tumor resultingin multiple brain surgeries on
my brain stem.
I have moved from merely asurviving former victim to a
faithful and godly, thrivingvictor who has moved to helping
(00:41):
others discover hope.
Though my past was full of painand suffering, I have been
restored with purpose andsanctification.
I have been redeemed.
I have also been called tofollow Christ in my redemption.
Now I want to take a moment tothank you for listening and, if
you have been doing so, takingthe time to download our
(01:03):
episodes, as when you download,along with rating our podcast
with an honest response, youhelp the algorithm immensely to
spread our reach.
However, our stats demonstratethat while thousands listened
and streamed the hopefulperspective, less than 10%
actually download our episodes.
Please consider bridging thegap to broadening that reach for
(01:26):
us.
We have also provided a fewoptions to either contact our
show with your direct feedback,as well as to support the
podcast financially, if you arecalled to partner with us in
bringing hope to a hurting world.
Last week, we continued our newseries entitled Jar of Clay
world.
Last week, we continued our newseries entitled Jar of Clay.
Why Jar of Clay, you ask?
(01:47):
In scripture, we, as God'speople, are often described as
jars of clay to illustrate ourfragility and our weakness.
Yet the Bible also uses ametaphor to show that God's
power belongs to him, not to us,and that His power shines
through us broken jars of clay.
(02:08):
This is also a series based onthe healing resource, a book
entitled Living from the HeartJesus Gave you, one that has
deeply impacted my personaljourney as a broken jar of clay
living with dissociativeidentity disorder, and how this
book helped me to live and evenlead when I battled this rare
(02:29):
and intense personality disorder.
I strongly urge you to grab thebook Living from the Heart
Jesus Gave you, written byWilder, friesen, Kopke, bierling
and Poole, if you want to learnmore about trusting Him with
your past wounds, so you too canmove into your future promises.
Though it is a quick read, itis a treasure chest of biblical
(02:53):
nuggets for anyone who needs tomove from past grief to future
glory in Christ.
Before we get started today, Iwant to compel you to grab your
favorite snack, hot or coldbeverage, get comfortable and
come on this journey with me aswe explore more of the treasure
chests found in Living from theHeart Jesus Gave you.
(03:15):
We left off last time in ourdiscussion, weighing the
positive effects of community,of having a therapist who is
grounded in faith, yet alsoapplying the innovations of
today's neuropsychology, as wellas what it means to move
towards biblical wholeness andrecovery.
We have begun to look at whatthe life model is and what
principles and values livingfrom the heart Jesus gave you as
(03:38):
a resource employs its readersto adhere to and to live by.
Today we are going to bediscussing the concept of
biblical maturity.
Living from the heart Jesusgave you defines maturity as
reaching one's God's givingpotential, maximizing our skills
, our talents and using themeffectively.
(04:00):
We needed to lay the foundationwe have to this point, much
like a carpenter lays thefoundation of a house by
discussing what it means to havesufficient joy strength lays
the foundation for all othermaturity and growth in our
development.
People who develop withoutproper joy strength or joy
(04:21):
capacity in the right side ofthe brain can appear just fine
for the first 20 or even 30years of their life, but
eventually the trials andtribulation reveal the faulty
joy foundations laid due totheir early traumas in their
life.
I have said this before, but Ilove how God's word and God's
(04:42):
world do not contradictthemselves.
We touched on this fact lastepisode that he and his
omnipotent wisdom accounted forthe deficiencies in our brain
structure that would happen dueto sin and trauma.
How does his sovereign handmagnify and glorify himself, you
wonder?
The Father created the brainwith the capacity to compensate
(05:06):
accordingly.
You see, while most of thebrain stops growing at certain
stages of development, thebrain's joy center, located in
the right orbital prefrontalcortex, is the only part of our
brain that never loses itscapacity to grow.
Now your next question may behow does our joy strength or joy
(05:27):
capacity develop?
Again, I have said this beforeand I learned this firsthand in
my own healing.
This occurs within healthy,authentic, joy-filled
relationships.
The beauty of this is that wecan grow this part of our brain
at any age, so you can heal fromyour trauma, no matter what age
(05:49):
.
You initiate the process, muchlike our discipleship process
and our becoming like Christ.
The maturation process in thelife model that Living From the
Heart Jesus gave you, neverstops occurring.
Maturity never ends and, as aresult, our need for
relationship never changes.
(06:11):
In order to understand thisbetter, the life model takes us
through the various stages ofmaturity, that is, in fact,
irrespective of our age.
Each stage has maturityrequirements in the form of
needs and tasks that one has toaccomplish and perform to move
beyond the stage.
Let's take a look for the restof our episode at these various
(06:34):
stages.
The first maturity stage one hasto move beyond is the infant
stage, or the 0-3 years.
In this stage, the fundamentalneed is to receive unconditional
love and care, where receivingalways precedes giving.
Parents supply.
The infant's needs to be fed,nurtured, changed, hugged, etc.
(06:58):
Developing trust throughbonding with parents is so
crucial as it requires time,togetherness and the power of
touch with both parents involved.
We begin forming at this infantstage our basic pictures of our
identity and our senses ofbelonging and value.
(07:20):
As we have previously discussed, our initial joy development is
crucial and the foundation atthis early stage crucial and the
foundation at this early stage.
We need to be the sparkle inour parents' eyes, and we need
to learn that joy is our normalstate of being.
These form the conditions thatactually grow our joy center of
(07:40):
the brain, which in turn haveexecutive control over our
emotional systems, the rest ofour lives.
Once these needs have been met,then we can obviously care for
ourselves.
When these needs and ourmaturity go unmet, then we spend
the rest of our lives trying toget others to take care of us.
(08:01):
Adult infants, if you will, whohave not yet received in these
most basic of areas, will comeoff as needy adults.
They will have a difficult timehandling their emotions and
they will have a difficult timeappropriately receiving things
from others.
Further, they will havedifficulty handling valid and
constructive criticism ornegative feedback and receive
(08:23):
anything like this as personalattack.
Relationships with one caughtin the adult-infant stage are
often severely complicated, asmanipulation such as fear
bonding will be used so that youwill remain in relationship to
them.
I myself was at the infantstage well into my adolescence
and possibly into my youngadulthood, because I didn't
(08:45):
start receiving the help Ineeded nor the joy strength
necessary until I was a youngadult.
As a result, I know that myrelationships were often what
are called the chaotic bond,which we will discuss at a later
time.
For now, it suffices to saythat I would draw people close
because I sincerely wanted to beclose to them, yet I also was
(09:07):
genuinely scared when they wouldbe too close, so I would push
them away through sabotaging therelationship.
The next stage of maturity isthat of the child, or the 4
through 12 year range.
The child at the right age iscapable of communicating what
they think and feel and,therefore, appropriately, what
they need.
Learning to care for oneselfrequires that you master several
(09:32):
of the tasks we discussedbefore.
Children learn what brings themsatisfaction, and if they do
not learn, then others will bethe deciding force.
Further, as a child, we have tolearn how to do hard things,
which requires us to learnpatience, and that will take
parental guidance.
We see an erroneous entitlementmentality in the West today,
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where literal generations aregrowing up seemingly skipping
this key foundational step intheir development.
Children also develop theirpersonal talents, or else they
fill their lives withunproductive activities.
Children also learn self-care,which requires a sense of
knowing their self and makingthemselves known to others.
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This also entails having asense of boundaries.
That necessitates knowing whereI end and you begin and
respecting one another, childadults or those who are adults
in children bodies will behighly egocentric.
You will go away feelingdrained, as though, in order to
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maintain relationship with oneof them, you will always need to
give more to them, listen moreto them and tolerate more than
they would go or be to anyoneelse.
Now they can take care ofthemselves, but they can only
take care of themselves with theexception of anyone else around
them.
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When a child moves to an adultstage, or 13 years to the birth
of their own first child, youwill know this.
When they shift from beingegocentric to both-centric.
As Living from the Heart JesusGives you states.
Mutuality is the trademark ofan adult because he or she can
take care of two people at thesame time.
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Adults know how to remainstable themselves, and this
point is crucial.
They can return themselves, aswell as others, to joy.
This is so important as amarker because people at lesser
developed stages will stillavoid escape or get stuck in
emotions which will cripple andaffect relationships.
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Adult-level relationships arecapable of bonding with peers
and develop a group identity.
The next stage for discussionis the parent or the first birth
, until the youngest childbecomes an adult Again.
We know that just having a childdoesn't place me at this stage
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by default, as I myself canattest in my own story.
I had three children and yetwas stuck at lower stages in my
own maturity for some time.
Yet you know, you are at theparent stage when you can
sacrificially care for yourchildren without expecting to
receive anything in return.
Without expecting to receiveanything in return, we know that
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we often feel exhausted,overwhelmed and, honestly, I
have often even felt begrudgedor underappreciated.
Anyone who has had teenagerscan attest to this one.
It is one thing to feel burntout on occasion and another to
become entitled as a parent toourselves.
Though, believe it or not,there are parents who feel like
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they should not have tosacrifice their time, money or
social lives just because theyhave dependents.
Now, to be clear, this isactually a sign of their own
childhood trauma.
Before we begrudge or hate uponanyone like this that we may
know, mature parents also learnthat they can involve other
spiritual authorities into theirfamily dynamic or the fabric of
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their lives to help in therearing of their children's
lives.
Whether it's grandparents,other family members, good
Christian friends, pastors,mentors, there are many people
who are going to help shape thepromises and purposes our
children are called to have, andmature parents will see this.
They will also have the abilityto walk their children through
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difficult times.
Yet, as you can probably guess,return to joy, which is forever
important as it is how the Lordcreated us.
The final stage of maturitybegins when our final child
becomes an adult.
Living from the heart Jesusgave you makes a point that,
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sadly, most people in ourculture do not make it to this
point in their spiritual oremotional maturity.
This is unfortunate, as thesuccess of any community, church
, family, school or even aculture will have a direct
correlation to the presence oftrue elders.
Guiding and advising A trueelder can be themselves in the
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midst of a difficulty.
They have the ability to helpfigure out what a community has
been designed by the Lord to be,rather than by imposing their
own designs upon that community.
True elders value all communitymembers as the Lord sees them.
They parent and mature as manyfrom the community as they are
able to.
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They are able to handlecriticism, they speak truth
regardless if it is popular oreasy, and they empower the youth
of the next generation.
And true elders are able toidentify spiritual orphans who
need to be adopted and cared forjust as they cared for their
own children.
I'm not sure I have reached thestage of elder yet, though I can
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certainly identify the eldersin my life who have made the
impact of spiritually adoptingme and influencing me in such a
way that I know I am a child ofGod and I belong to His family
and I can hear His voice.
I look to these elders muchlike, I think, some look to
their own biological fathers.
I am grateful for theirpresence and their guidance in
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my life, and I know that incertain days my whole faith has
been restored, in part becauseof their faithfulness to me.
I know that I have learned thatmaturity never ends and that I
have never stopped meeting otherpeople.
I have thrived when I have beenin community or even just
committed myself to the processof connecting with others to get
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unstuck in the areas of myprogress.
Another thing that, living Fromthe Heart Jesus gave you, points
out is what is called atransformation cycle.
That can take place throughoutour life.
I have found this to be true aswell.
The transformation cycles canoften be accompanied by anxiety,
depression or other newfeelings that can be
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overwhelming.
They can follow healing orcompletion of one of the
previously stated maturitystages.
Transformation gives a person anew identity when the old one
is broken.
The pain can be intense, yetthat is part of the cycle
leading to wholeness.
As the cycle is completed, amore fully developed, mature
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self emerges with additionallife skills and, of course, with
increased joy.
And this is the defining factorof the maturity process that we
are required to face our traumawith honesty and authenticity,
even when the results can bepainful, broken and seemingly
(16:52):
tragic.
Yet God is repairing at ourcore because a transformation
cycle is being allowed to becompleted due to our bravery to
push through, leading to higherlevels of maturity and joy.
And this is God showing us whatis hope.
(17:13):
Yet maybe some of you arefeeling isolated from your
community.
Maybe some of you are feelinghopeless.
Perhaps you are turning tolistening to podcasts as your
way of feeling included or partof something bigger than
yourself.
Maybe you are on your ownrecovery journey or have paused
(17:33):
your own trauma recovery asthings became difficult and it
is time to pick up the paceagain, as you feel the spirit
moving on you today, perhaps youare feeling called to give back
to your community and you needto move closer to the afflicted
or the lesser of these in yourchurch, family or your community
.
Maybe you are listening and youhave never made a decision to
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follow Jesus Christ as your Lordand your Savior before today,
any direction you are sensingthe Spirit moving.
I would be remiss if we leftour time today without providing
an opportunity for us torespond, and I want to pray for
you right now.
If you're listening, eitheragree with this prayer or lift
those up that are intercedingright now.
(18:17):
Lord Jesus, I repent of my sinsand I surrender my life to you.
Wash me and cleanse me from allunforgiveness and pride.
I believe that you are the Sonof God, that you died on the
cross for the forgiveness of mysins and that you rose again on
the third day for my victory.
I believe that in my heart andmake confession with my mouth
(18:39):
that you, jesus, are my Lord andmy Savior and that your kingdom
is forever.
I want to live my lifeaccording to your terms and I
want you to change my reliancefor myself and any earthly
vessels.
I have placed hope and insteadI want to trust your plan and
ask for you to put the peopleand the processes and the models
(19:00):
to pursue restoration into mylife.
I ask for you to reveal to mewhere I have neglected the needs
of those who are broken aroundme, where I've become
indifferent, incapable or I'vebeen unable to unprioritize
those that need to feel the hopeof Christ.
Thank you for being a God ofmercy, a God of healing and a
God of truth.
(19:20):
Might I become a beacon of hopeto the hurting.
Give us the spiritual eyes tosee on earth as it is in heaven,
and may our priorities begin toreflect your heart and your
kingdom.
Jesus, it's in your name thatwe pray, amen.
If you have today agreed withthis prayer from the depths of
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your heart, I welcome you to theeternal family of God and I
commend you.
If you've returned to the faith, I want to continue as an
encouragement for you to find anorthodox, biblical-based faith
family who worships the Lordpassionately.
Also, devote yourself to thereading of the scriptures, as
there is so much to grow, tolearn and to be discipled in as
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it pertains to new life andmaturity in Christ.
Next time on the HopefulPerspective podcast, we will be
continuing our series in jars ofclay where we discuss the
concepts of how the brainrecovers from trauma.
As you can see, there is somuch that can be said short of
reading this book to you guys,word for word.
I hope, believe and pray thiswill be transformative for
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whoever listens, at whateverstage in development that you
are in.
So I am looking forward tobeing with you next time on the
Hopeful Perspective podcast.
Until then, I want to thank youfor joining me along this
journey.
Until then, I want to thank youfor joining me along this
journey and if you'd be so kindto follow, subscribe and, most
importantly, to rate and write areview for others on your
(20:49):
platform who may need thehopeful perspective in their
life.
Did you know that you cancontribute monetarily by
pressing our support, the showlink that is embedded on your
platform and episodedescriptions?
All of your contributions areutilized to grow the podcast, to
multiply our equipment, tobroaden our reach and to share
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the hope of Christ.
I want to shout out mygratitude to the multiple new
donors who already have madethis commitment to support the
podcast financially.
Without you, it would not bepossible to reach as many people
with the messages we do, oranyone who needs to be reminded
that hope is real.
So thank you so much in advanceand until next time, remember
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you are loved.
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