Breaking Free: Religious Manipulation Unveiled

Doubting your faith isn't spiritual weakness—it might be the first step toward something more authentic. In this thought-provoking episode, we dive into the shadowy world of religious manipulation and how it silences our inner voice.

Ruby shares her pivotal university moment: "Someone just casually said, 'I don't believe in hell,' and I was like, wait, you can say that out loud?" For many raised in controlling religious environments, questioning feels dangerous—almost like "inviting a lightning bolt." We explore how tactics of fear, guilt, and shame become powerful tools for conformity, creating what Richard Ravenbrook calls "spiritual bondage."

But what happens when we dare to ask questions? We examine the complexities of religious texts themselves, from the contradictory creation stories in Genesis to the ambiguous divine justice in Cain and Abel. Rather than seeing these inconsistencies as problems, we reframe them as invitations to deeper engagement. As one biblical scholar told Ruby, reading scripture critically is "like trying to make sense of your family's stories at Christmas"—messy but meaningful.

The journey toward spiritual freedom isn't linear but spiral-shaped—we circle back, revisit old questions, stumble, and heal. Some find solace in nature, others in journaling or supportive communities. What matters isn't following someone else's rulebook but reclaiming your voice and trusting your inner compass.

Wherever you are on this journey—just beginning to question or rebuilding your spiritual life—know that doubt isn't failure. Your questions deserve space. Your journey matters. And sometimes, the most spiritual act is simply being honest about what you truly believe.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the House of Ravenbrook.
I'm Eric Marquette and, asalways, I'm joined by the
ever-spirited Ruby Sturt.
Today we're diving into a topicthat's well a bit heavier than
our usual fare religiousmanipulation and the shadows it
can cast on our spiritualjourneys.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, and honestly, it's one of those things that's
so common but we don't alwayshave the language for it.
Like you know something's offbut you can't quite put your
finger on it.
I remember at uni sitting in atutorial and someone just
casually said oh, I don'tbelieve in hell.
And I was like wait, you cansay that out loud.
I'd grown up thinking, evenquestioning that stuff was

(00:38):
basically inviting a lightningbolt.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
That's such a relatable moment.
I think a lot of us have beenthere, raised in environments
where fear, guilt and shame areused, sometimes subtly,
sometimes not to keep us in line.
Richard Ravenbrook talks aboutthis in his memoir how the
pressure to conform can be sointense that it actually
silences your own intuition.
You end up doubting yourself,not just your beliefs.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Totally.
And it's not always some bigdramatic thing.
Sometimes it's just the littlecomments like if you really
loved God, you'd do this oryou're bringing shame on the
family.
It's sneaky.
I remember feeling this weirdguilt for even wanting to skip
church to study for exams, likethe idea that you're never quite
good enough or you're alwaysone step away from being judged.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
And that's the thing.
These tactics whether it's fearof divine punishment or the
threat of being ostracized,they're incredibly effective at
keeping people in line, but thecost is huge.
You end up with people who areanxious, disconnected from
themselves and sometimes evenfrom the divine, whatever that
means for them.
Ravenbrook describes it as akind of spiritual bondage, where

(01:46):
you're trapped by beliefs thatdon't actually resonate with
your inner truth.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, and it's not just about religion, right, it's
about any system that uses fearand shame to control, but with
religion it's so personal, itgets right into your sense of
self-worth.
I mean, I had this moment in mysecond year where I just sat
there and thought do I actuallybelieve any of this, or am I
just terrified of what happensif I don't?
That was a real turning pointfor me.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's powerful and I think it's important to say
questioning isn't a sign of weakfaith.
If anything, it's a sign ofgrowth.
As Ravenbrook puts it, thejourney to spiritual freedom
often starts with a whisper ofdoubt.
It's not about rejectingeverything, but about finding
what's actually true for you,not just what you've been told
to believe.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Exactly, and for anyone listening who's felt that
pressure or who's been made tofeel guilty for asking questions
, you're not alone.
It's actually really brave tostart unpicking those inherited
beliefs and, honestly, it's thefirst step towards something way
more authentic.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
So let's talk about the texts themselves, Because,
let's be honest, the Bible iscomplicated.
I mean, you open Genesis andyou've got two different
creation stories back to back.
One's all about God creatingeverything in six days, and then
the next chapter.
Suddenly it's a different order, a different style.
It's like did the editors justnot notice?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Or maybe they just thought, eh, let's throw them
both in, see what sticks.
But seriously, it's wild howwe're taught to read these
stories as if they're all oneseamless narrative, when
actually they're full ofcontradictions, Like Cain and
Abel.
God's response to Cain is soambiguous.
Is it justice?
Is it mercy?
Is it just weird?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Right, and it's not just Genesis.
The whole Bible is a patchworkof different voices, different
agendas, different historicalmoments.
I had this conversation oncewith a biblical scholar.
She said reading scripturecritically is a bit like trying
to make sense of your family'sstories at Christmas.
Everyone remembers thingsdifferently and sometimes the
stories just don't add up.

(03:52):
But that doesn't mean there'sno wisdom there.
It just means you have to dig abit deeper, ask better
questions.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, and I think that's where a lot of people get
tripped up.
We're told don't question, justbelieve.
But when you actually look atthe text, it's almost inviting
you to wrestle with it.
Like, why are there twocreation accounts?
Why does God seem loving in onestory and vengeful in another?
It's messy, but it's also kindof freeing.
You realise.
Oh, this is a human document.

(04:20):
It's not supposed to be perfect.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Exactly and, as we've talked about in previous
episodes, especially when welooked at the roots of the
Ravenbrook tradition, there's areal value in embracing that
complexity.
It's not about throwing out thewhole thing, but about engaging
with it honestly.
The contradictions aren't aproblem to be solved.
They're an invitation to godeeper, to find your own meaning
.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
And honestly it's a relief, like you don't have to
twist yourself into knots tryingto make everything fit.
You can say, yeah, this partdoesn't make sense to me, or I
don't agree with this bit, andthat's okay.
It's actually a sign of respectfor the text.
I reckon to take it seriouslyenough to question it.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
And it opens up space for nuance For example, the
story of Cain and Abel.
And it opens up space fornuance For example, the story of
Cain and Abel.
Some people see it as a storyabout jealousy, others about
divine justice, others about therandomness of suffering.
There's no one right answer andthat's kind of the point.
The text is a starting point,not the final word.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, and if you're listening and you've ever felt
like you're doing it wrongbecause you see the
contradictions, trust me, you'renot.
You're actually engaging withthe tradition in a way that's
way more honest and, dare I say,spiritual than just memorising
the right answers.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
So where does that leave us If we're not just
following the rules and we'renot pretending the
contradictions don't exist?
What does a healthy spiritualpath look like?
Ravenbrook talks about it as aspiral, not a straight line.
You circle back, you revisitold questions, you grow, you
stumble, you heal.
It's not about arriving at somefinal destination.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, and I love that image because, honestly,
healing from religious trauma orjust from the pressure to
conform, isn't a one and donething, it's ongoing For me.
After I left my old church, Ifound so much comfort just
walking in nature, likeliterally just wandering around
the park, listening to the birds, letting myself feel whatever I

(06:16):
was feeling.
Sometimes I'd journal,sometimes I'd just sit and
breathe.
It sounds simple, but it washuge for me.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's beautiful and it lines up with what Ravenbrook
and others say about practicaltools, meditation, journaling,
active listening, findingcommunity.
It's about buildingself-compassion, letting
yourself be imperfect and notneeding to have all the answers.
Sometimes just having someoneto talk to or a group where you

(06:43):
can be honest about your doubtsmakes all the answers.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Sometimes just having someone to talk to or a group
where you can be honest aboutyour doubts, makes all the
difference.
Yeah, and I think it'simportant to say there's no
right way to do this.
Some people find solace inrituals, some in creativity,
some in just being quiet.
The point is you get to choose,you get to reclaim your own
voice and if you stumble, or ifyou find yourself doubting again

(07:13):
.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
That's not failure.
That's just part of the spiral.
You're still moving forward,even if it doesn't feel like it.
The journey is about findingwhat resonates with your deepest
self.
It's about community, yes, butalso about trusting your own
inner compass, and that takestime and patience and a lot of
self-kindness.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
So if you're listening and you're somewhere
on that spiral maybe you're juststarting to question or maybe
you're deep in the process ofrebuilding just know you're not
alone.
There's no rush and there's nofinish line.
It's okay to take your time totry new things, to let go of
what doesn't serve you anymore.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
And that's probably a good place to wrap for today.
We'll keep exploring thesethemes in future episodes how to
build supportive communities,how to create your own rituals
and how to keep growing evenwhen the path gets messy.
Ruby, as always, it's been apleasure.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Right back at you, eric, and to everyone listening.
Take care of yourselves, begentle and remember the journey
is yours.
We'll see you next time in theHouse of Ravenbrook.