December 12, 2025 • 27 mins
Episode 522 - Boundaries and Bonds - Navigating Parasocial Relationships in Podcasting
Dave dives into the intriguing concept of parasocial relationships in podcasting, sparked by the sudden passing of Todd Cochrane, the influential host of The New Media Show and Geek News Central, and champion of independent podcasters through his Blueberry hosting platform.
Though Dave never met Todd personally - no emails exchanged, no direct interactions - years of listening created a deep one-sided bond. Listeners like Dave feel intimately connected to hosts, knowing their voices, opinions, and lives intimately, while hosts remain unaware of individual fans beyond download stats.
This dynamic makes podcasting profoundly intimate, like inviting listeners into your living room for ongoing conversations they weave into their routines.
Hosts hold significant influence: listeners trust endorsements, remember details from early episodes long after hosts forget, and may share vulnerable stories, treating podcasters as confidants.
Dave stresses the ethical weight this carries—avoid manipulation through sponsorships, set clear boundaries on personal sharing like family details or contact info, and always prioritize listener welfare, consent, and autonomy.
Practical advice flows throughout: be transparent about paid promotions to maintain trust, moderate communities to protect vulnerable members, get opt-in for using listener content, and regularly self-reflect on boundaries.
Hosts must recognize signals of strong bonds, like persistent outreach, and respond with care without exploiting the power imbalance. Dave shares his commitment to monthly listener chats via a calendar on howtopodcast.com, inviting five fans to connect genuinely.
The episode closes with a bonus Q&A on launching: technically, one episode suffices, but bank a short trailer (1-2 minutes) plus 1-3 episodes for momentum without overcommitting like pre-making a year's worth.
Key takeaway: Parasocial bonds are a beautiful privilege—treat your audience as a cherished community, not a commodity. Honor their trust with integrity, boundaries, and genuine care; your microphone wields real power, so wield it responsibly to build lasting relationships.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
OK, we're rolling. Hey, welcome back to the Had a
podcast series. It's Dave with you.
I hope you're doing well. Yeah, I'm Dave.
I live in Ontario, Canada, and I'm happy to be here with you on
the show. I want to talk about a word that
I didn't really grasp or use in my day-to-day speech, not a word
(00:23):
that I generally would think of using.
And when I heard it, I'm like, whatever.
But now I'm starting to think about it a little bit more and
maybe it has more meaning than Ireally anticipated at the time.
And it's the term parasocial, not Paris Hilton parasocial.
(00:46):
Now parasocial to me. I it didn't really click until I
put it into a different context.Now remember, a few months ago
the podcasting world lost a big giant in the space?
Mr. Todd Cochran, owner of Blueberry, which is a podcast
(01:08):
hosting site, a champion of independent podcasters from
around the world. A a kind opinionated podcaster
who would fight for, for us as as independent podcasters, a
(01:32):
great guy. And it's interesting because he
passed away and suddenly and just like he was just gone.
And I had these, these feelings because I never, I've never met
him ever. I've never had an e-mail with
him. He did read 1 of my comments on
(01:53):
the live once, a podcasting liveepisode, but he he attributed to
somebody else. Even though he read my comment.
I'm like oh I was so close. But a guy that I've been
listening to and following for avery very long time and even
though he has no idea who I am, he probably wouldn't even have
(02:15):
known my name or even known about me or my show.
I doubt it. So there's kind of a one way
relationship between me as a listener and Todd Cochran as the
host of the podcast. He did the new media show, he
did Geek News Central, he did a bunch of stuff in podcasting, a
(02:35):
speaker at all the events, he ran a booth at all the events.
And yeah, so anyway, there's there's this interesting dynamic
between a listener and a podcaster.
So I'm from a listener's perspective with Todd.
I had a parasocial relationship with Todd.
(02:57):
Todd knows nothing about me. And I know a ton about Todd
because I've been listening and I've been a part of his
community and supporting, sharing his show, all of that
stuff. So I feel a connection with
Todd, even though Todd has no, no sweet clue who I was.
I had no impact on Todd. Maybe I showed up as a download
(03:21):
on his dashboard, but that's about it.
He had no idea who I was. But to me, I knew Todd, even
though I've never met him. And there's this relationship
that we build over time with ouraudience that I don't think that
you nor I really understand. I don't think, to quote Todd, we
(03:48):
have nary the clue or nary you like to say nary all the time,
nary the idea that this relationship exists.
And I just wanted to talk about the parasocial relationships
that we build over time as podcasters with our audience.
(04:09):
You showing up and doing what you do, and you do it very well
by the way. You showing up and doing what
you do on a regular basis buildsa relationship with people that
you may never, ever, ever met. You'll never meet them.
You'll never cross paths with them in the real world.
(04:29):
But to them, you are their person.
You are the voice. You are the person that they
resonate with. You are the person they
anticipate, they look forward to, and you are the person that
they build their world around. They change their schedule for
(04:50):
you and you become a companion in life, even though as a
podcaster you may never meet them.
This is a parasocial relationship.
It's A1 sided sense of friendship or closeness that
(05:11):
listeners feel toward a host or a public figure that they
admire, even when there's no reciprocal interaction occurring
at all. So the goal of this episode is
for us as podcasters just to recognize when listeners
experience parasocial bonds, that we need to reflect on this,
(05:34):
this responsibility that we haveas podcasters.
It is, it's really important andthat we honor and protect the
relationship we have with our audience by how we show up, how
we are in real life, that we arethe same all the way through.
We have integrity because our audience is building a persona
(05:58):
around us and a belief about whowe are, and we don't want to
give them any reason to think otherwise.
What parasocial relationships feel like for listeners?
Listeners over time will feel understood when they listen to
you as a podcaster. They feel invited into a
(06:21):
personal space with us through our podcast.
It's like being in someone's home, in someone's living room.
It's like pretty intimate when you think about it.
There's there's an expectation that the conversation going to
keep going and when we lost Todd, my parasocial relationship
(06:42):
with Todd ended. It was broken because he was
gone. We need to realize that people
are incorporating us as hosts into their daily routine.
And there's a power dynamic heretoo, where admiration creates
(07:05):
trust and loyalty. So when you tell people as a
podcaster to buy a product or you endorse this service or that
person or that website, or you should buy this microphone or I
don't know, whatever, you endorse that book, people will
act. They will act on what you say.
(07:28):
They will act on what you said 100 episodes ago.
You've forgotten what you've said and people will tell you
you said these things. They're like, I loved on episode
3 when you said this and you're on episode 300.
I don't even remember what I said on episode 3, but they do.
(07:48):
They have a parasocial relationship with you.
There's a that's a interesting dynamic that's happening here.
There's this trust, though, can be misread as intimacy, and it
can lead to some inflated expectations on both sides,
(08:12):
expectations that they have about you and your character,
who you are as a person, and they see you through the lens of
your podcast. And then you might have
expectations of them as a listener.
It signals that you're in a parasocial space.
When fans share personal details, they persistently seek
(08:34):
interaction with you on multipleplatforms or treat you as the
host, as a confidant. They can.
They can tell you things. That's a sign when a complete
stranger to you reaches out to you and starts telling you what
the podcast, your podcast means to them and how it's changed
(08:56):
their life. They're being very vulnerable
with you right in that moment. And don't you ever step on that.
Don't you ever dismiss that or don't you ever not respond
because they're showing how vulnerable they are in the
moment to you as a host. So why host should be aware and
(09:21):
intentional when dealing with a parasocial relationship with
your audience? We have this influence over
people and with people because we're a podcaster.
And in that influence there's some ethical things to think
about. This parasocial bond that we
have can create leverage. You'll see people misuse this.
(09:44):
You'll see people who use power over people to get them to do
things. It's it happens.
And this requires careful boundaries to avoid manipulating
people, exploiting people, or pressuring your listeners to do
things they wouldn't otherwise choose to do.
You have a lot of power with that microphone sitting there in
(10:06):
front of you. You can make people do things by
the power of your voice. Be careful.
Use your podcast ethically, and you have a responsibility to
protect and not exploit your audience.
Prioritize your listener and their welfare and their autonomy
(10:30):
over who they are, and don't leverage your power as a
podcaster towards making money with your show and doing things
that hurt your audience. Now, I'm OK with you making
money with your show. That's fine.
(10:51):
That's not. That's not the big deal.
It's when you use it to manipulate people to make money
with your show that's a problem.We have a responsibility to
protect, not exploit. We prioritize our listeners
welfare, consent and autonomy and we have an impact on trust.
(11:11):
We need to be transparent with our boundaries and respectful
during our engagement to preserve the trust that people
give us by listening to our show.
Some practical guidelines for usaround nurturing a healthy
parasocial relationship. We need to be carefully safe.
(11:33):
We need to be careful and have clarity around their boundaries
as podcasters with our parasocial relationships with
people we haven't met. OK, so we need to set some
boundaries around listener host interactions.
How personal you want to be whenyou share.
What counts as private? So talking about your family,
(11:56):
talking about your, your marriage, talking about your
children, your job, right? You got to be careful and how
listeners can engage with you ina respectful manner.
Giving out your phone number forpeople to text you.
I've heard people do the I've heard people do this on their
(12:18):
show, like how you need to kind of drive this part of the
parasocial relationship with thepeople you haven't met who hear
your show. So your availability, what you
give away, your location, your identity, all of that stuff.
(12:39):
Once you put it out there, the Internet writes an ink.
So just remember that, OK, And any listener first
communication, be sure that whenpeople reach out to you and
leave you comments that you get consent to use their
information, their voice in yourshow, in your content, that they
(13:01):
opt in for opportunities for interaction, Q&A, voice
messages, communities. And there's a opt out option as
well. So if they ask you not to use
your the video, for example, as a guest or they don't as a as a
listener, they don't want to be seen or included in your show,
but they giving you feedback, becareful with that.
(13:24):
Remember, with this parasocial relationship, people will act on
your words and your actions. So be transparent about your
sponsorships. If you're being paid to have a
guest on your show and you're promoting this person or this
company as a paid sponsorship, it's basically an ad.
(13:44):
There's legal ramifications for you in the US and around the
world, so be transparent about any sponsorship paid placements.
Avoid framing promotions as personal endorsements or
implying that an endorsement will help the listener and be in
their best interest. Or they should act, or they
(14:04):
should. You know, just remember this
relationship here, They trust you.
So don't sacrifice their trust. Be inclusive.
Have a supportive community. When you build a community,
you're going to have to moderatethe community.
I'm doing that on meet up right now.
Protect vulnerable people withinyour group.
(14:26):
Keep them from being harassed orbullied by other people in the
group. That's your responsibility.
You're the mayor of your own town.
When you build a community, havesome boundaries as far as your
relationship with your guests aswell.
When you're featuring your guests, ensure that discussions
rate remain respectful to the listeners experiences and avoid
(14:49):
putting guests in positions. If they feel pressure that they
they feel pressure or they couldpressure your audience to do
something that is not helpful. It could harm your listeners and
have a self check for For hosts,schedule regular reflect and
(15:10):
review sessions, assess whether episodes or interactions risk
crossing boundaries and adjust your formats.
Just be aware and then empower your listeners as well.
Offer some resources for listeners who might be
struggling emotionally, including crisis resources.
If you start to get into some heavy topics around addiction or
(15:34):
mental health, don't just createthe content, create the gather
the answers and the support thatpeople need as well.
So keep all that in mind. So some key takeaways for for
listeners, some things to consider.
These parasocial connections arereal, they're raw, and they're
(15:58):
powerful, but always operate within safe and ethical
boundaries. And all that you do, if you
don't handle this right, it's going to hurt somebody.
It could hurt your listener, it could hurt you.
So handle this with care and attention.
Audience deserves your respect. Audiences deserve privacy.
(16:25):
As host, we bear the responsibility to protect that
trust. When I think back about Todd and
my parasocial relationship with Todd, Todd looked after his
listeners. Todd created a safe place.
Todd loved to push buttons, but Todd always made sure everyone
(16:46):
was good. A healthy podcast relationship
with your audience balances boththe warmth that you bring to the
through your microphone and the accessibility with really
transparent boundaries about consent, ongoing commitment, and
the welfare of your listener. I want just to reaffirm the
(17:10):
commitment to honoring your listeners as a community, not
just it's not a commodity. Your advertisers who want to get
on your show, they see your community as a commodity,
someone to sell to. They're not here to nurture your
community. They're here to sell to your
(17:30):
community. Just keep that in mind.
You are the last line of defensebetween everything else and the
people who love you the most with a parasocial relationship
with you. Treat your relationship with
your listener with the respect it is due.
(17:52):
You have this beautiful privilege and honor of being a
podcaster with an audience. Your audience may be small, your
audience maybe might be really big.
Understand the weight and the power that comes with this
platform and never, ever abuse it and never, ever neglect it as
(18:16):
well. You have a commitment.
You've built something here, or you're in the process of
building something right now, and what you build stays.
What you build has impact. Be careful with your words, be
(18:39):
truthful, be transparent, and make sure that when someone
builds a relationship with you, a parasocial relationship with
you, and you have no idea who they are, that you keep that in
mind. The next time you come to the
mic, there's someone listening to you today that's never met
(19:03):
you and may never meet you, and you may never, ever hear from
them. And only a small portion of our
audience ever reaches out to connect with us as podcasters.
Yet they listen, they learn, they feel like they know you and
(19:26):
they've got a lot of great content that you've given them
over the years. And in that moment, you've got
to, you don't just have a fan, you have a friend and you have
somebody who's also looking for friendship as well.
So when you hear from your audience, respond when you, when
(19:47):
you speak to them, speak in truth.
Don't say anything that would hurt your audience.
Protect them. Protect them from people who
might want to harm your audience.
And always, always, always continue to focus on building
(20:07):
relationships through podcasting.
You got a great audience out there.
They love you and they want morefrom you.
How much more, That's up to you.And if you have a parasocial
relationship, somebody that you look up to, that you follow,
they don't know who you are. Maybe you've never reached out
(20:30):
to them. My first challenge for you is to
reach out to them. There's somebody that you
admire. I would love for you to take
time today to send them a message however they wish to be
communicated with. Just reach out.
You know what it's like to not see emails.
You know what it's like to not get messages.
(20:52):
Then be the one to do it. Initiate it.
Just keep in mind that this podcasting platform is powerful
and what you have in front of you with that microphone can
change the world. I hope you do it and I hope you
do it well. And if you're listening to this
(21:14):
and you're thinking I like that Dave guy and I haven't met you
yet, we have a parasocial relationship and I'd love to
meet you and have time with you at How to podcast.ca.
Thanks for being here. Take care.
Hey, thanks for being here. Thank you for listening to the
end of the podcast. You're here with me.
(21:35):
I'm so grateful. I want to put something in front
of you, the person that's listened this far.
You're my new best friend. So what I'm trying to do every
month is I have a goal and you can help me with this goal.
Very simple. What I'm trying to do is have 5
conversations this month with listeners of the How to Podcast
(22:00):
series. You don't have to have a podcast
to respond. This can be the first time ever
that we're going to have a conversation, but I'm looking to
talk to five people now. You're still here, so you're one
of the people that I would love to talk to next.
So on my How to podcast.ca website is a calendar and I'd
(22:21):
love to have you respond on How to podcast.ca.
Just click the calendar link, set up time in my calendar and
in the comments section for, forthe meeting, just put something
like listener, that's it. If you have a show, put it in
the the comments too. So I can go listen.
But if you don't, I, I just wantto talk to five listeners every
(22:44):
month from now to the end of themonth.
So if you're, if you're listening to me right now,
you're the person I want to talkto.
And through how to podcast.ca, you and I can get together, chat
about the show, chat about your journey as a podcaster.
Where are you at? What do you need the show to
(23:04):
become for you? What's missing your feedback?
I just want to meet you. And as podcasters, I would
encourage you to do something similar to this in your podcast
so that you can meet and interact with your audience.
So how to podcast.ca, I'm looking to talk to five people
every month, and I would love for you to be one of them.
(23:27):
Reach out, it's free. I'm not selling you anything.
I just want to talk to you at How to podcast.ca.
Let's get in the calendar and chat.
Thanks for listening. Hey, it's, yeah, it's me.
It's Dave. I'm still here.
You're still here. Good.
OK, I'm going to throw on these questions and answers at the end
(23:47):
of the episode just for you, youknow, 'cause you're still here.
Everyone else is gone. So I, I thought I'd just hang
out with you a little bit longer.
I, I like you. You're, you're a nice person.
The question I had come in recently was around how many
episodes do I need to start a podcast?
Now? If we want to go by like the
(24:08):
technical requirements of starting a podcast, you need
one. OK, we're done now we can go
home. But I would suggest you have
more than one for a simple reason.
When your podcast is new, you want to be able to give your
audience more than one episode they'll listen to before the
(24:29):
next episode comes out. So I would say at minimum, I
would do a trailer episode, which is a let's call it an
umbrella for your for your podcast.
It's kind of like the big idea of the show.
Who is it for? What's it about?
What can people get from this show as an umbrella?
(24:51):
Kind of it covers everything, right?
And but these trailers, they don't have to be long, I would
suggest, because often people will tell you that a podcast
doesn't register a listen in some apps if it's less than a
minute. So if you do a 32nd trailer,
technically you're not going to get a any stats for that.
(25:14):
So I would say at least a minute, 2 minutes, but not 50
minutes like I've seen some gurus do.
I just shake my head. It's not an episode.
It's not a about you episode, it's a trailer.
It's meant to be something that's easily shared from one
person to the next. Hey, check out this podcast.
(25:35):
Here's the trailer. I think you'll love it.
Done. It's not an episode, it's a
trailer. So that's one episode right
there. That's technically all you need
to start is a trailer, but I would do a trailer and a few
episodes as well. Having them banked gives you
more time to create the next episode.
So I would say 123 episodes in addition to your trailer is a
(26:00):
great starting point. What I would not suggest you do
is create 52 episodes, which is an entire year of content with
one a week. Because what if the podcast
isn't great? Like what if there are things in
the podcast that your audience goes, we don't like that
(26:22):
Starting with a small batch of podcast episodes to get going is
probably a better idea from my perspective and the people I've
worked with than to create an entire year of content in
advance. So keep that in mind.
Remember, it's your show, so youcan do whatever you want.
You don't have to do a trailer. You don't have to do multiple
(26:45):
episodes to launch. You do have to have one episode
to launch so that's at the bare minimum what it takes to start a
podcast. 1 episode. From there it's completely up to
you. My suggestion, multiple episodes
to start but you pick. And if you need help let me
know, I'd love to help you. I'm always here and I'm always
(27:07):
hanging around after the episodeif you have any questions so let
me know. Take care.
Happy podcasting.
OK, we're rolling. Hey, welcome back to the Had a
podcast series. It's Dave with you.
I hope you're doing well. Yeah, I'm Dave.
I live in Ontario, Canada, and I'm happy to be here with you on
the show. I want to talk about a word that
I didn't really grasp or use in my day-to-day speech, not a word
(00:23):
that I generally would think of using.
And when I heard it, I'm like, whatever.
But now I'm starting to think about it a little bit more and
maybe it has more meaning than Ireally anticipated at the time.
And it's the term parasocial, not Paris Hilton parasocial.
(00:46):
Now parasocial to me. I it didn't really click until I
put it into a different context.Now remember, a few months ago
the podcasting world lost a big giant in the space?
Mr. Todd Cochran, owner of Blueberry, which is a podcast
(01:08):
hosting site, a champion of independent podcasters from
around the world. A a kind opinionated podcaster
who would fight for, for us as as independent podcasters, a
(01:32):
great guy. And it's interesting because he
passed away and suddenly and just like he was just gone.
And I had these, these feelings because I never, I've never met
him ever. I've never had an e-mail with
him. He did read 1 of my comments on
(01:53):
the live once, a podcasting liveepisode, but he he attributed to
somebody else. Even though he read my comment.
I'm like oh I was so close. But a guy that I've been
listening to and following for avery very long time and even
though he has no idea who I am, he probably wouldn't even have
(02:15):
known my name or even known about me or my show.
I doubt it. So there's kind of a one way
relationship between me as a listener and Todd Cochran as the
host of the podcast. He did the new media show, he
did Geek News Central, he did a bunch of stuff in podcasting, a
(02:35):
speaker at all the events, he ran a booth at all the events.
And yeah, so anyway, there's there's this interesting dynamic
between a listener and a podcaster.
So I'm from a listener's perspective with Todd.
I had a parasocial relationship with Todd.
(02:57):
Todd knows nothing about me. And I know a ton about Todd
because I've been listening and I've been a part of his
community and supporting, sharing his show, all of that
stuff. So I feel a connection with
Todd, even though Todd has no, no sweet clue who I was.
I had no impact on Todd. Maybe I showed up as a download
(03:21):
on his dashboard, but that's about it.
He had no idea who I was. But to me, I knew Todd, even
though I've never met him. And there's this relationship
that we build over time with ouraudience that I don't think that
you nor I really understand. I don't think, to quote Todd, we
(03:48):
have nary the clue or nary you like to say nary all the time,
nary the idea that this relationship exists.
And I just wanted to talk about the parasocial relationships
that we build over time as podcasters with our audience.
(04:09):
You showing up and doing what you do, and you do it very well
by the way. You showing up and doing what
you do on a regular basis buildsa relationship with people that
you may never, ever, ever met. You'll never meet them.
You'll never cross paths with them in the real world.
(04:29):
But to them, you are their person.
You are the voice. You are the person that they
resonate with. You are the person they
anticipate, they look forward to, and you are the person that
they build their world around. They change their schedule for
(04:50):
you and you become a companion in life, even though as a
podcaster you may never meet them.
This is a parasocial relationship.
It's A1 sided sense of friendship or closeness that
(05:11):
listeners feel toward a host or a public figure that they
admire, even when there's no reciprocal interaction occurring
at all. So the goal of this episode is
for us as podcasters just to recognize when listeners
experience parasocial bonds, that we need to reflect on this,
(05:34):
this responsibility that we haveas podcasters.
It is, it's really important andthat we honor and protect the
relationship we have with our audience by how we show up, how
we are in real life, that we arethe same all the way through.
We have integrity because our audience is building a persona
(05:58):
around us and a belief about whowe are, and we don't want to
give them any reason to think otherwise.
What parasocial relationships feel like for listeners?
Listeners over time will feel understood when they listen to
you as a podcaster. They feel invited into a
(06:21):
personal space with us through our podcast.
It's like being in someone's home, in someone's living room.
It's like pretty intimate when you think about it.
There's there's an expectation that the conversation going to
keep going and when we lost Todd, my parasocial relationship
(06:42):
with Todd ended. It was broken because he was
gone. We need to realize that people
are incorporating us as hosts into their daily routine.
And there's a power dynamic heretoo, where admiration creates
(07:05):
trust and loyalty. So when you tell people as a
podcaster to buy a product or you endorse this service or that
person or that website, or you should buy this microphone or I
don't know, whatever, you endorse that book, people will
act. They will act on what you say.
(07:28):
They will act on what you said 100 episodes ago.
You've forgotten what you've said and people will tell you
you said these things. They're like, I loved on episode
3 when you said this and you're on episode 300.
I don't even remember what I said on episode 3, but they do.
(07:48):
They have a parasocial relationship with you.
There's a that's a interesting dynamic that's happening here.
There's this trust, though, can be misread as intimacy, and it
can lead to some inflated expectations on both sides,
(08:12):
expectations that they have about you and your character,
who you are as a person, and they see you through the lens of
your podcast. And then you might have
expectations of them as a listener.
It signals that you're in a parasocial space.
When fans share personal details, they persistently seek
(08:34):
interaction with you on multipleplatforms or treat you as the
host, as a confidant. They can.
They can tell you things. That's a sign when a complete
stranger to you reaches out to you and starts telling you what
the podcast, your podcast means to them and how it's changed
(08:56):
their life. They're being very vulnerable
with you right in that moment. And don't you ever step on that.
Don't you ever dismiss that or don't you ever not respond
because they're showing how vulnerable they are in the
moment to you as a host. So why host should be aware and
(09:21):
intentional when dealing with a parasocial relationship with
your audience? We have this influence over
people and with people because we're a podcaster.
And in that influence there's some ethical things to think
about. This parasocial bond that we
have can create leverage. You'll see people misuse this.
(09:44):
You'll see people who use power over people to get them to do
things. It's it happens.
And this requires careful boundaries to avoid manipulating
people, exploiting people, or pressuring your listeners to do
things they wouldn't otherwise choose to do.
You have a lot of power with that microphone sitting there in
(10:06):
front of you. You can make people do things by
the power of your voice. Be careful.
Use your podcast ethically, and you have a responsibility to
protect and not exploit your audience.
Prioritize your listener and their welfare and their autonomy
(10:30):
over who they are, and don't leverage your power as a
podcaster towards making money with your show and doing things
that hurt your audience. Now, I'm OK with you making
money with your show. That's fine.
(10:51):
That's not. That's not the big deal.
It's when you use it to manipulate people to make money
with your show that's a problem.We have a responsibility to
protect, not exploit. We prioritize our listeners
welfare, consent and autonomy and we have an impact on trust.
(11:11):
We need to be transparent with our boundaries and respectful
during our engagement to preserve the trust that people
give us by listening to our show.
Some practical guidelines for usaround nurturing a healthy
parasocial relationship. We need to be carefully safe.
(11:33):
We need to be careful and have clarity around their boundaries
as podcasters with our parasocial relationships with
people we haven't met. OK, so we need to set some
boundaries around listener host interactions.
How personal you want to be whenyou share.
What counts as private? So talking about your family,
(11:56):
talking about your, your marriage, talking about your
children, your job, right? You got to be careful and how
listeners can engage with you ina respectful manner.
Giving out your phone number forpeople to text you.
I've heard people do the I've heard people do this on their
(12:18):
show, like how you need to kind of drive this part of the
parasocial relationship with thepeople you haven't met who hear
your show. So your availability, what you
give away, your location, your identity, all of that stuff.
(12:39):
Once you put it out there, the Internet writes an ink.
So just remember that, OK, And any listener first
communication, be sure that whenpeople reach out to you and
leave you comments that you get consent to use their
information, their voice in yourshow, in your content, that they
(13:01):
opt in for opportunities for interaction, Q&A, voice
messages, communities. And there's a opt out option as
well. So if they ask you not to use
your the video, for example, as a guest or they don't as a as a
listener, they don't want to be seen or included in your show,
but they giving you feedback, becareful with that.
(13:24):
Remember, with this parasocial relationship, people will act on
your words and your actions. So be transparent about your
sponsorships. If you're being paid to have a
guest on your show and you're promoting this person or this
company as a paid sponsorship, it's basically an ad.
(13:44):
There's legal ramifications for you in the US and around the
world, so be transparent about any sponsorship paid placements.
Avoid framing promotions as personal endorsements or
implying that an endorsement will help the listener and be in
their best interest. Or they should act, or they
(14:04):
should. You know, just remember this
relationship here, They trust you.
So don't sacrifice their trust. Be inclusive.
Have a supportive community. When you build a community,
you're going to have to moderatethe community.
I'm doing that on meet up right now.
Protect vulnerable people withinyour group.
(14:26):
Keep them from being harassed orbullied by other people in the
group. That's your responsibility.
You're the mayor of your own town.
When you build a community, havesome boundaries as far as your
relationship with your guests aswell.
When you're featuring your guests, ensure that discussions
rate remain respectful to the listeners experiences and avoid
(14:49):
putting guests in positions. If they feel pressure that they
they feel pressure or they couldpressure your audience to do
something that is not helpful. It could harm your listeners and
have a self check for For hosts,schedule regular reflect and
(15:10):
review sessions, assess whether episodes or interactions risk
crossing boundaries and adjust your formats.
Just be aware and then empower your listeners as well.
Offer some resources for listeners who might be
struggling emotionally, including crisis resources.
If you start to get into some heavy topics around addiction or
(15:34):
mental health, don't just createthe content, create the gather
the answers and the support thatpeople need as well.
So keep all that in mind. So some key takeaways for for
listeners, some things to consider.
These parasocial connections arereal, they're raw, and they're
(15:58):
powerful, but always operate within safe and ethical
boundaries. And all that you do, if you
don't handle this right, it's going to hurt somebody.
It could hurt your listener, it could hurt you.
So handle this with care and attention.
Audience deserves your respect. Audiences deserve privacy.
(16:25):
As host, we bear the responsibility to protect that
trust. When I think back about Todd and
my parasocial relationship with Todd, Todd looked after his
listeners. Todd created a safe place.
Todd loved to push buttons, but Todd always made sure everyone
(16:46):
was good. A healthy podcast relationship
with your audience balances boththe warmth that you bring to the
through your microphone and the accessibility with really
transparent boundaries about consent, ongoing commitment, and
the welfare of your listener. I want just to reaffirm the
(17:10):
commitment to honoring your listeners as a community, not
just it's not a commodity. Your advertisers who want to get
on your show, they see your community as a commodity,
someone to sell to. They're not here to nurture your
community. They're here to sell to your
(17:30):
community. Just keep that in mind.
You are the last line of defensebetween everything else and the
people who love you the most with a parasocial relationship
with you. Treat your relationship with
your listener with the respect it is due.
(17:52):
You have this beautiful privilege and honor of being a
podcaster with an audience. Your audience may be small, your
audience maybe might be really big.
Understand the weight and the power that comes with this
platform and never, ever abuse it and never, ever neglect it as
(18:16):
well. You have a commitment.
You've built something here, or you're in the process of
building something right now, and what you build stays.
What you build has impact. Be careful with your words, be
(18:39):
truthful, be transparent, and make sure that when someone
builds a relationship with you, a parasocial relationship with
you, and you have no idea who they are, that you keep that in
mind. The next time you come to the
mic, there's someone listening to you today that's never met
(19:03):
you and may never meet you, and you may never, ever hear from
them. And only a small portion of our
audience ever reaches out to connect with us as podcasters.
Yet they listen, they learn, they feel like they know you and
(19:26):
they've got a lot of great content that you've given them
over the years. And in that moment, you've got
to, you don't just have a fan, you have a friend and you have
somebody who's also looking for friendship as well.
So when you hear from your audience, respond when you, when
(19:47):
you speak to them, speak in truth.
Don't say anything that would hurt your audience.
Protect them. Protect them from people who
might want to harm your audience.
And always, always, always continue to focus on building
(20:07):
relationships through podcasting.
You got a great audience out there.
They love you and they want morefrom you.
How much more, That's up to you.And if you have a parasocial
relationship, somebody that you look up to, that you follow,
they don't know who you are. Maybe you've never reached out
(20:30):
to them. My first challenge for you is to
reach out to them. There's somebody that you
admire. I would love for you to take
time today to send them a message however they wish to be
communicated with. Just reach out.
You know what it's like to not see emails.
You know what it's like to not get messages.
(20:52):
Then be the one to do it. Initiate it.
Just keep in mind that this podcasting platform is powerful
and what you have in front of you with that microphone can
change the world. I hope you do it and I hope you
do it well. And if you're listening to this
(21:14):
and you're thinking I like that Dave guy and I haven't met you
yet, we have a parasocial relationship and I'd love to
meet you and have time with you at How to podcast.ca.
Thanks for being here. Take care.
Hey, thanks for being here. Thank you for listening to the
end of the podcast. You're here with me.
(21:35):
I'm so grateful. I want to put something in front
of you, the person that's listened this far.
You're my new best friend. So what I'm trying to do every
month is I have a goal and you can help me with this goal.
Very simple. What I'm trying to do is have 5
conversations this month with listeners of the How to Podcast
(22:00):
series. You don't have to have a podcast
to respond. This can be the first time ever
that we're going to have a conversation, but I'm looking to
talk to five people now. You're still here, so you're one
of the people that I would love to talk to next.
So on my How to podcast.ca website is a calendar and I'd
(22:21):
love to have you respond on How to podcast.ca.
Just click the calendar link, set up time in my calendar and
in the comments section for, forthe meeting, just put something
like listener, that's it. If you have a show, put it in
the the comments too. So I can go listen.
But if you don't, I, I just wantto talk to five listeners every
(22:44):
month from now to the end of themonth.
So if you're, if you're listening to me right now,
you're the person I want to talkto.
And through how to podcast.ca, you and I can get together, chat
about the show, chat about your journey as a podcaster.
Where are you at? What do you need the show to
(23:04):
become for you? What's missing your feedback?
I just want to meet you. And as podcasters, I would
encourage you to do something similar to this in your podcast
so that you can meet and interact with your audience.
So how to podcast.ca, I'm looking to talk to five people
every month, and I would love for you to be one of them.
(23:27):
Reach out, it's free. I'm not selling you anything.
I just want to talk to you at How to podcast.ca.
Let's get in the calendar and chat.
Thanks for listening. Hey, it's, yeah, it's me.
It's Dave. I'm still here.
You're still here. Good.
OK, I'm going to throw on these questions and answers at the end
(23:47):
of the episode just for you, youknow, 'cause you're still here.
Everyone else is gone. So I, I thought I'd just hang
out with you a little bit longer.
I, I like you. You're, you're a nice person.
The question I had come in recently was around how many
episodes do I need to start a podcast?
Now? If we want to go by like the
(24:08):
technical requirements of starting a podcast, you need
one. OK, we're done now we can go
home. But I would suggest you have
more than one for a simple reason.
When your podcast is new, you want to be able to give your
audience more than one episode they'll listen to before the
(24:29):
next episode comes out. So I would say at minimum, I
would do a trailer episode, which is a let's call it an
umbrella for your for your podcast.
It's kind of like the big idea of the show.
Who is it for? What's it about?
What can people get from this show as an umbrella?
(24:51):
Kind of it covers everything, right?
And but these trailers, they don't have to be long, I would
suggest, because often people will tell you that a podcast
doesn't register a listen in some apps if it's less than a
minute. So if you do a 32nd trailer,
technically you're not going to get a any stats for that.
(25:14):
So I would say at least a minute, 2 minutes, but not 50
minutes like I've seen some gurus do.
I just shake my head. It's not an episode.
It's not a about you episode, it's a trailer.
It's meant to be something that's easily shared from one
person to the next. Hey, check out this podcast.
(25:35):
Here's the trailer. I think you'll love it.
Done. It's not an episode, it's a
trailer. So that's one episode right
there. That's technically all you need
to start is a trailer, but I would do a trailer and a few
episodes as well. Having them banked gives you
more time to create the next episode.
So I would say 123 episodes in addition to your trailer is a
(26:00):
great starting point. What I would not suggest you do
is create 52 episodes, which is an entire year of content with
one a week. Because what if the podcast
isn't great? Like what if there are things in
the podcast that your audience goes, we don't like that
(26:22):
Starting with a small batch of podcast episodes to get going is
probably a better idea from my perspective and the people I've
worked with than to create an entire year of content in
advance. So keep that in mind.
Remember, it's your show, so youcan do whatever you want.
You don't have to do a trailer. You don't have to do multiple
(26:45):
episodes to launch. You do have to have one episode
to launch so that's at the bare minimum what it takes to start a
podcast. 1 episode. From there it's completely up to
you. My suggestion, multiple episodes
to start but you pick. And if you need help let me
know, I'd love to help you. I'm always here and I'm always
(27:07):
hanging around after the episodeif you have any questions so let
me know. Take care.
Happy podcasting.
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