August 26, 2025 • 27 mins
Dogs are communicating all the time – it is just that we don’t always know what they are saying. Dog Trainer Jesse Sternberg, author of Enlightened Dog Training, has some radical ideas about what dogs need from us and how we can get into sync with each other. First, he doesn’t focus on “trying to get dogs to behave a certain way.” He focuses on what emotion the dog is feeling, which is what drives behavior. Understanding how dogs confront and then can instantly calm each other can go a long way toward creating harmony in the household. Jesse talks about how dogs need structure to make the right choices. How can we create a peaceful, calm experience that dogs will respect and model? That is what his soulful method is all about. Dogs want to respect us, and using fear is not the way to gain their respect. We gain their respect by being a calm, peaceful leader who allows them to look to us for a sense of safety and order. If you are ready to explore this exciting, gentle method, you will love this episode. You can reach Jesse Sternberg at PeacefulAlpha.com and get the first chapter of his new book for free.
EPISODE NOTES: The Forbidden Angle – What Dog’s Know About Confrontation
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-human-animal-connection-pet-life-radio-original--6669311/support.
EPISODE NOTES: The Forbidden Angle – What Dog’s Know About Confrontation
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-human-animal-connection-pet-life-radio-original--6669311/support.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live. This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets. Welcome
to the Human Animal Connection Show, where we believe we
can communicate with all animals. Join us as we explore
the thirty three principles and healing methods of the Human
Animal Connection. As animal lovers, we know that you share
(00:22):
our commitment to making the world a kinder place for
all creatures. Together, let's embrace the transformative healing power of
the Human Animal Connection.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello everyone, Welcome to the Human Animal Connection Podcast. I'm
your host, Jeanie Joseph and I'm the executive director of
the Human Animal Connection. And today I am delighted to
speak with Jesse Sternberg. And he's the author of a
couple of books. One is called Enlightened Dog Training Become
the Peaceful Alpha your dog needs and respects. So he
(00:55):
is the creator of the Peaceful Alpha method, where dog
training becomes soul work.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Oo.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Sounds good to be Hi, Jesse, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Hi, Jennie, I love bad intro. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yeah, it's so great because for so long dog training
has been about how can I make my dog do
something I wanted him.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Or her to do?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Instead of you know, what does my dog wants. You know,
how can we meet in the middle between what I
want and what my dog wants? So tell me what
you mean by the peaceful Alpha method.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah, well, well exactly, that is a framework for people
who who vibe with that with what you just said, Yeah,
it's basically what how I as the result of my
journey and how I got to be able to develop
these great, calm, obedient dogs using my techniques, which is
(01:54):
basically honoring their language, their comic language. Yeah. I also
behave like their father teacher. Hm.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Okay, so giving them that sense of authority, but there's
a gentleness, there's a peacefulness to it, versus authority from
dominance or fear based techniques.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah. Well I could care less about, you know, getting
them to do behaviors. That's not what's motivating me. What's
motivating me is teaching them how to make decisions so
that they can have ultimate freedom, so they can the
freest you know life, that they can live the most
peace the most fun. So I have to teach them skills. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah, and m h that's really you know, that's I
love that you said that because I think so often
dogs that share lives with humans have lost a lot
of freedoms because they have to be on leashes in
the world and they have to do you know, there's
just a lot of ways in which they have to
conform to our routines. And some of it is the
(02:56):
law and we understand it. Some of it is protection.
But on the other and what if dogs could make
choices more often, wouldn't that be good?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, that's how exactly what motivates me. I think that, like,
that would be cool. Wouldn't it be cool for that dog? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Yeah, I mean they still need a kind of being
who is making good decisions, you know, like picking the
right dog food or whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
They need a steward they need because it's not their world.
It's not their world. And actually, so I'm a little
passionate about this next point, which is, you know, it's
one thing to like want them to be able to
make their own choices and their best life, but how
can they It would be chaotic to them if they
had that freedom.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Right, and that interesting. It's kind of like little kids,
you know, there there's a they need a certain structure
so that they can enjoy freedom within it. But if
there's no structure, it can be very you know, confusing.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It can be very chaotic.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, Jesse, give us an example of providing
a framework of structure with a degree of freedom with
the dog.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Give us an example. What does it look like if
you're a dog owner when guests come over. There's always
that excitement factor at the front door, and so freedom
will be just letting your dog do whatever it wants.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Okay, And we've all been there, seen that, visited those people.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Many of us have chosen that. Yeah, and then the
flip side is, well, okay, well, what do you want
me to do? Leave my dog? Put my dog in
a cage? How do you like? What's the where's the
middle ground where there's a little bit of structure around
that scenario and you can just open the door, guests
(04:55):
can come in, and the dog just kind of looks
and just kind of stand still, and you know, is
free in that moment to enjoy the whole moment, you know,
and it isn't creating chaos, but is actually part of
the harmony. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
So are you someone that like says the dog should
be sitting before you open the door or what is
your play?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I mentioned that because I don't care about the behavior.
I care about the emotion. If I am of the
dog is calm, okay and connected to me, yes, looking
to me for guys, what do we hey boss, what
are we doing in this moment? Then I'm okay with
(05:36):
them doing anything from standing still, sitting down, laying down,
laying down with their head down, being in a certain
distance away from whatever the action is or respectful distance.
I'm okay with them wagging their tail and being all
excited and you know, enjoying the space with us. But
(05:57):
where I'm not okay, where I have a boundary is
I don't like when I have to intervene with you.
I have a way and I teach people away. And
this is what my books are all about. This is
what being the peaceful alpha is is. Yes, there really
is alpha, and no we're not just going to be
(06:17):
dominating them. Yes, we're gonna be that divine teacher, that
divine hand in our dog's life so that most dogs
don't have the emotional capacity to stand still when they're excited.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
This is fascinating that instead of looking at what behavior
do we want at the door, we're looking at what
emotion do we want to the door? And a calm
emotion is going to produce calm behavior and you know choices, yeah,
calm choices.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So you know it's simple, but it's revolutionary in terms
of the way thinking has been in the past, which
is get your dog to do X y Z behavior
or stop your dog from doing X y Z behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
And there's a tension in at hunting it wait, I
want you to sit and now intense I was like this, this,
my friends, this is a whole. That's why it's soulful.
It's because it's like it's a deeper level.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah, it's so respectful, you know, to to to think
in terms of not obey commands, but to engage around
emotions of if I'm calm and the dog is looking
to me, it's oh she's calm. I guess this person
coming through the door as an okay person.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Well that's the best part about this work for me
is it's been a journey in bettering myself because you
cannot fake your dog's respect for you. Okay. It's all
about all your moments that are stacked and how you've
been right right right.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
So I know, like when that doorbell goes, you know,
I feel like it's like, ah, you know, they're gonna go, Ah,
I've got three dogs already. I'm not yet calm before
you know what I mean, I'm thinking, Okay, how.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Is this going to go? Wow? If you knew, if
you understand, Okay, So this I teach people about this
angle called the forbidden angle. Okay, and alphas understand this
angle better. Alphas that have earned the right to lead
(08:23):
their community has chosen them to protect for them and
to provide them and to keep everybody calm and safe.
He understands this angle because this angle is the confrontational angle.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So explain what it is. What is this angle direct?
It's a way that you go into a direct eye contact.
The angle itself is is like geometrically, it's like you know,
the hit one head to the next head.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
It's working in at eyes. But how the body is
positioned on it, the flow of the movement on it,
the honoring of that angle, you know, for ten hours
actions before you get on the angle. There's so much
baked into it, the calming signals that are dancing around
these pre movements. Okay, well, the alpha always wins, the
(09:11):
alpha always controls it. The best alphas always do that
with least amount of surprise, force, maximum harmony. They do
it for the right reasons. So that's a little conversation
that you can have at the door because the door
is significant significant, that's why dogs get excited. Yeah, so
(09:33):
you just you do a door acclaim with the forbidden
angle and you look. You dog to have those calming
signal responses where they stand still, sit down, lay down.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Fascinating, you know, because as I mentioned, I have three dogs,
and the most recent dog we adopted was in a
house with twelve other dogs. Yes, his name is Harry,
and in that household he was literally the bottom of
the totem poles. Eleven of the dogs had more more
alpha ness than he did. And in our house he's
(10:06):
the alpha, which is so interesting. So one of the
things that I watch is that sometimes with a look,
he'll tell the other dogs, no, you can't have Genie
right now. Genie's might just with a look and they
get it. Get my turk right in.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, he's using that look, that angle and your prize.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
I'm the prize. Yeah, And it's it's so interesting to
watch because it's instant, it's peaceful, it's clear, it's not aggressive,
you know, I mean, it's just a statement of fact.
This is my person now it is. And what's cool again,
what's cool about my work is it's a statement of fact,
but it can be accepted or not accepted, and most
(10:50):
of the time it's negotiated, negotiated with a whole other
variety of actions that are called calming signals.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Okay, okay, So when this dog does the look, it
will be accepted because a blink will be made, because
a look away will be made, because a paul gets raised.
And that is what's so cool is what if you
(11:20):
knew how to do that with your dog? Yeah, that
would be you can you know? And that's what my
new book is. The emphasis of my new book is
teaching people how to do that.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Your new book is called oh yeah, Deeper than You Think,
How Dogs Communicate using calming signals, angles and emotions. So yeah,
that's your new book. Well, we're going to take a
short nope break. When we come back, I want to
hear some of your stories about working with animals and
applying these peaceful alpha methods.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Will be right back in just a moment.
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Speaker 1 (12:31):
Hey friends. If you like what you're hearing and want
to learn more, check out doctor Joseph's book The Human
Animal Connection, Deepening Relationships with Animals and Ourselves, or visit
the website The Humananimalconnection dot org to book an online consultation.
Thank you for loving animals. Now back to the show.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Let's talk bets on CET life Radio dot com.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
Welcome back to The Human Animal Connection. My host is
Jesse Sternberg and he's the author of Enlightened Dog Training,
How to become the peaceful Alpha your dog.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Needs and respects.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
So, Jesse, we were just talking on a break about
a wonderful story and I said, don't tell me now
if I tell everyone that story. So I really want
to hear that story. You were out with your dog
and as often happens, another person with their dog and
they want to meet.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So what happened? Okay, so yeah, this is actually like
a viral video. It's pinned in my Instagram. It's got
about ten million views, and it's just mind boggling. I
caught a little footage and a conversation, but it's basically
this little ten pound black dog chugging like a steamboat
toward the owner, not really asking, but sort of telling,
(14:00):
we meet you. Well, yes you can. I have one
hundred pound guard dog. He's unneutered, he's not fully trained,
he's he's young, and he'll want to discipline that dog. Oh,
not to mention what would it look like if the
roles were reversed. So they don't really know that they're
(14:22):
meeting me, and my life's work is about this angle
that they're walking towards me on and that's why it's
chaotic for their dog in the first blok. Yes, so
I've already moved off the sidewalk, off of this angle. Okay,
start signaling calm vibes to the dog that's coming at us,
(14:42):
and and they're approaching. I say, sure, we can approach.
Let me approach you and I because it's it's a
calling signal to come around another dog in an arc, all.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Right, So to come in a side angle like twenty
five degrees or something yet forty degrees, and actually to
go past the body and offer like a side of
your body for it to smith. The opposite of going
head to head, right, everything anything but head to head
(15:18):
is this is what we.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Do back at the off leash dog park. This is
what they would do if they weren't tied to a rope,
being long, straight line right, so they feel like they
have all their defenses they can get away, while this
little black dog doesn't necessarily is not approaching with social
etiquette of the video starts. It's like no socialized dog
(15:40):
would approach this way, right. It's quite controversial because I
edited it in a way where they could care less
about the dog choking, and they could They just wanted
to get the breakfast, and they just you know, they
saw my dog. They just wanted to come over and
see my dog. And there's that soulful layer to it
(16:03):
which was missing from that side. And so it blew
up with comments where that's where the world is right now.
Half the world is here, right like seeing the depth
and the layers and the other half they're just you know,
if they're in their ego and they've never tasted more.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
So, what actually happened? So you moved, You went forty
five degrees to side, You passed the dog. What happened next?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
On past they had a little nose kiss, but both
dogs were not standing calm. My dog didn't make the
decision to just stand calm with the leash loose, the
way I would describe it as the boundary I want
at the front door. He was so interested in the
commotion that was going on with this little dog, so
you know, in a micro second later, I just made
(16:52):
a leadership decision like all right, bubble, leave it and heal.
And he Didn'tkay filmed it. That's what's good. Point of
controversy is I offered a training tip because I was
recording this for my channel, right, you know, try to
hold the leash. I told her how to hold the leash,
and she didn't ask me for advice. Okay, first leave
(17:13):
it at that.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
For some drama, Yeah, okay, good, well yeah, definitely. Well,
dogs are communicating all the time, and as healthy dogs,
so well socialized dogs are going to accurately read the
signals and the cues and the calming signals, and they okay,
we can be friends signals, but if the humans are
missing the signals, we can override what the dogs would
(17:39):
would do well with, right is that kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That's my that was That's what I believe that too,
is I believe I'm always making a signal, like every moment,
every moment as the dog approached us, and you know,
I'm already off to the side. Am I already different?
I already have med a different action, and I have
my dog on outside of me, So I'm already reflecting
(18:03):
that I have some control. I have my dog standing
still with the leash oose. I'm demonstrating I have my
dog with me in some harmony and we're being respectful
to the path that you're walking on. Yeah. Yeah, that
that get got missed by the owners, didn't get missed
by the dog, Okay. Brought the dog down from a
(18:23):
ninety nine to a seventy five.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Okay, okay, which is you know, can make all the
difference in the world.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
But which is also why my dog didn't have to
correct it. Huh.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Yeah, So what are some of the ways that dogs
do correct that's healthy harmonious corrections. We know unharmonious. But
what's what's a harmonious correction? What's an immortal correction? The confrontation,
what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Well, it's a confrontation and then there's a there's a
quick efficient confrontation, there's instant peace.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Oh okay, okay, this is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
So the goal is not to have zero confrontation, is
to have confrontation that's quick and efficient.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Goal is pace ace for the pack. Okay. And so
when you're saying you have three dogs at the door,
let's reframe that you have one pack and you have
one lead dog that you need to talk to. Okay, okay.
And when we talk to the lead dog in the
right way, the others are already in line.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yes, yes, yeah, And I mean fortunately my dogs are.
They're just in a massive excitement. There's nothing about and aggressive.
But my point being is like all all dogs want
to be in a harmonious state with one another. They're now,
we're not at the dog park being a bunch of
knees and ews. Wow, they're being a wee.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yeah. And if there's a harmony without a sheriff, that's fine.
But sometimes often there's a sheriff okay, and when you
step into boy to will you step into that role
and you become that sheriff because there's always a dog
that's saying I don't like this. Ah well that's I mean,
(20:11):
you earned what you know, the respect you earned for
that dog. It can feel easy resting because you're in
the room. Okay, No, it's the puppy. Won't jump on him.
Uh huh, he's following me. It's like there's a guardian.
It's like being a guardian is more than just having
(20:33):
asking for behaviors. Yeah. Yeah, well, as you know, it's
so God.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I wish we humans could be we.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Like dogs.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I mean, wouldn't that be amazing? And if there was
a good sheriff who could, like, you know, help when
things go. We're a miss. But for any of the book,
becoming the peaceful is you. You become in that state. Yeah,
get into that state with your dog.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I like that. Yeah, and you are the one. You
then become the one that is yes, because wherever you
end up going, you can use the signals and you
can influence harmonious states and use the signals which are
(21:23):
an aggressive person and deflate their aggressiveness.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
That's fascinating. Yeah, so that, and you know, so much
of this is so fast and so instant and obviously
without words. In the dog world, it's body language, it's
their positioning, it's their entering guage, plus the emotion that
they're feeling, and every language on the forbidden angle intensifies
(21:50):
the emotion and the body language and the signals off
of the off of the calming signals. They're all dancing
off of this forbidden angle because they are soothing the emotions. Yeah, wow,
this is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I basic emotions, basic emotions. Just want to clarify that
emotions of like oh I'm stressed. Oh oh, something sketchy
is happening in the room right now.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, this is interesting because I have to give a
guest talk at the University University Veterinary School, and I
would love to be able to teach them about this
angle thing because this would be really helpful.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Oh there, yeah, this is like I this is my
favorite topic. This is so this is chapter one of
my new book. It's the Forbidden Angle. The Forbidden Angle, Okay,
and I give that chapter away for free from my website.
That's great.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Well, tell people how they can get a hold of
you and this website in this chapter and read about
the forbidden angle. Very easy, peaceful Alpha dot com. That
is wonderful. All right, Well, do you have of one
last story to leave our audience with to inspire them
to learn how to better read their dog signals.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I think that when I grew up, what I desperately
wanted to know how to do was just talk to
my dog, Yeah, communicate with them and for it not
to be pretend. And it blew my mind when I
realized that they communicate to each other, and when I
(23:34):
had the epiphany about seeing it happening with twenty five
dogs all at once in real time and getting a
spiritual download about it. In my dog daycare scenario where
I would often meditate and watch forty to fifty dogs
for a long durations, just just being in the flow
(23:56):
with them and studying all the different dog train methods,
there is one method what stuck with me was this
woman toured Rugus, pioneer of the calming signals, and then
her alter ego, Caesar Malin, and both of them were
into the body language, but at different ends of the string. Yes,
(24:17):
and neither of them really showed me how they could coexist.
And that's what the peaceful alpha embodies, is that power,
but the wisdom and the restraint and not need to
flex it. Yeah, and so the conversations are really simple.
(24:39):
It's just about having them and you can actually have
them and know they're not in English, but they're with actions,
with actions. There was you know, it's so basic. But
it's the context, and it's the situational awareness, which is
what yes about call for me. It's a bit about
(25:02):
how can I call it a more situational awareness because
I see what I get when I have it.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing when we're here versus
being in our heads or you know, thinking about something
else and things go kind of haywire with the animals
when we're not really here.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yeah, yeah there or mirror when a wire? Where am I?
Yeah exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
I know, like when i'm you know, if I'm feeling
a little rushed and kind of rushing around getting ready
to leave and they just look at me like who
is this purse?
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
I don't like it when you rush around like that.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Great, well, wonderful. Well, I've been speaking with Jesse Sternberg,
and he's the author of several books, including Enlightened Dog
Training and Jesse. They can reach you at Peacefulalpha dot com.
Do you do remote training.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Also, or yeah, I got, I got courses, I go,
I got little mini coaching, one on ones, I've got
a couple of different ways because email me.
Speaker 7 (26:07):
All right, Well, thank you so much for being here
with us on The Human Animal Connection.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
We'll talk to you soon, and thank you all for listening.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
See you next show. Bye for now.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Thank you for tuning in to the Human Animal Connection show.
Please visit our website, The Humananimalconnection dot org. There you
can sign up for our free email newsletter, book a consultation,
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(26:38):
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Speaker 6 (26:45):
Let's Talk Pats every week on demand only on Petlifradio
dot com.
Live. This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets. Welcome
to the Human Animal Connection Show, where we believe we
can communicate with all animals. Join us as we explore
the thirty three principles and healing methods of the Human
Animal Connection. As animal lovers, we know that you share
(00:22):
our commitment to making the world a kinder place for
all creatures. Together, let's embrace the transformative healing power of
the Human Animal Connection.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello everyone, Welcome to the Human Animal Connection Podcast. I'm
your host, Jeanie Joseph and I'm the executive director of
the Human Animal Connection. And today I am delighted to
speak with Jesse Sternberg. And he's the author of a
couple of books. One is called Enlightened Dog Training Become
the Peaceful Alpha your dog needs and respects. So he
(00:55):
is the creator of the Peaceful Alpha method, where dog
training becomes soul work.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Oo.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Sounds good to be Hi, Jesse, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Hi, Jennie, I love bad intro. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yeah, it's so great because for so long dog training
has been about how can I make my dog do
something I wanted him.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Or her to do?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Instead of you know, what does my dog wants. You know,
how can we meet in the middle between what I
want and what my dog wants? So tell me what
you mean by the peaceful Alpha method.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah, well, well exactly, that is a framework for people
who who vibe with that with what you just said, Yeah,
it's basically what how I as the result of my
journey and how I got to be able to develop
these great, calm, obedient dogs using my techniques, which is
(01:54):
basically honoring their language, their comic language. Yeah. I also
behave like their father teacher. Hm.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Okay, so giving them that sense of authority, but there's
a gentleness, there's a peacefulness to it, versus authority from
dominance or fear based techniques.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah. Well I could care less about, you know, getting
them to do behaviors. That's not what's motivating me. What's
motivating me is teaching them how to make decisions so
that they can have ultimate freedom, so they can the
freest you know life, that they can live the most
peace the most fun. So I have to teach them skills. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah, and m h that's really you know, that's I
love that you said that because I think so often
dogs that share lives with humans have lost a lot
of freedoms because they have to be on leashes in
the world and they have to do you know, there's
just a lot of ways in which they have to
conform to our routines. And some of it is the
(02:56):
law and we understand it. Some of it is protection.
But on the other and what if dogs could make
choices more often, wouldn't that be good?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Well, that's how exactly what motivates me. I think that, like,
that would be cool. Wouldn't it be cool for that dog? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Yeah, I mean they still need a kind of being
who is making good decisions, you know, like picking the
right dog food or whatever.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
They need a steward they need because it's not their world.
It's not their world. And actually, so I'm a little
passionate about this next point, which is, you know, it's
one thing to like want them to be able to
make their own choices and their best life, but how
can they It would be chaotic to them if they
had that freedom.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Right, and that interesting. It's kind of like little kids,
you know, there there's a they need a certain structure
so that they can enjoy freedom within it. But if
there's no structure, it can be very you know, confusing.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It can be very chaotic.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, Jesse, give us an example of providing
a framework of structure with a degree of freedom with
the dog.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Give us an example. What does it look like if
you're a dog owner when guests come over. There's always
that excitement factor at the front door, and so freedom
will be just letting your dog do whatever it wants.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Okay, And we've all been there, seen that, visited those people.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Many of us have chosen that. Yeah, and then the
flip side is, well, okay, well, what do you want
me to do? Leave my dog? Put my dog in
a cage? How do you like? What's the where's the
middle ground where there's a little bit of structure around
that scenario and you can just open the door, guests
(04:55):
can come in, and the dog just kind of looks
and just kind of stand still, and you know, is
free in that moment to enjoy the whole moment, you know,
and it isn't creating chaos, but is actually part of
the harmony. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
So are you someone that like says the dog should
be sitting before you open the door or what is
your play?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I mentioned that because I don't care about the behavior.
I care about the emotion. If I am of the
dog is calm, okay and connected to me, yes, looking
to me for guys, what do we hey boss, what
are we doing in this moment? Then I'm okay with
(05:36):
them doing anything from standing still, sitting down, laying down,
laying down with their head down, being in a certain
distance away from whatever the action is or respectful distance.
I'm okay with them wagging their tail and being all
excited and you know, enjoying the space with us. But
(05:57):
where I'm not okay, where I have a boundary is
I don't like when I have to intervene with you.
I have a way and I teach people away. And
this is what my books are all about. This is
what being the peaceful alpha is is. Yes, there really
is alpha, and no we're not just going to be
(06:17):
dominating them. Yes, we're gonna be that divine teacher, that
divine hand in our dog's life so that most dogs
don't have the emotional capacity to stand still when they're excited.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
This is fascinating that instead of looking at what behavior
do we want at the door, we're looking at what
emotion do we want to the door? And a calm
emotion is going to produce calm behavior and you know choices, yeah,
calm choices.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So you know it's simple, but it's revolutionary in terms
of the way thinking has been in the past, which
is get your dog to do X y Z behavior
or stop your dog from doing X y Z behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
And there's a tension in at hunting it wait, I
want you to sit and now intense I was like this, this,
my friends, this is a whole. That's why it's soulful.
It's because it's like it's a deeper level.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah, it's so respectful, you know, to to to think
in terms of not obey commands, but to engage around
emotions of if I'm calm and the dog is looking
to me, it's oh she's calm. I guess this person
coming through the door as an okay person.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Well that's the best part about this work for me
is it's been a journey in bettering myself because you
cannot fake your dog's respect for you. Okay. It's all
about all your moments that are stacked and how you've
been right right right.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
So I know, like when that doorbell goes, you know,
I feel like it's like, ah, you know, they're gonna go, Ah,
I've got three dogs already. I'm not yet calm before
you know what I mean, I'm thinking, Okay, how.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Is this going to go? Wow? If you knew, if
you understand, Okay, So this I teach people about this
angle called the forbidden angle. Okay, and alphas understand this
angle better. Alphas that have earned the right to lead
(08:23):
their community has chosen them to protect for them and
to provide them and to keep everybody calm and safe.
He understands this angle because this angle is the confrontational angle.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So explain what it is. What is this angle direct?
It's a way that you go into a direct eye contact.
The angle itself is is like geometrically, it's like you know,
the hit one head to the next head.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
It's working in at eyes. But how the body is
positioned on it, the flow of the movement on it,
the honoring of that angle, you know, for ten hours
actions before you get on the angle. There's so much
baked into it, the calming signals that are dancing around
these pre movements. Okay, well, the alpha always wins, the
(09:11):
alpha always controls it. The best alphas always do that
with least amount of surprise, force, maximum harmony. They do
it for the right reasons. So that's a little conversation
that you can have at the door because the door
is significant significant, that's why dogs get excited. Yeah, so
(09:33):
you just you do a door acclaim with the forbidden
angle and you look. You dog to have those calming
signal responses where they stand still, sit down, lay down.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Fascinating, you know, because as I mentioned, I have three dogs,
and the most recent dog we adopted was in a
house with twelve other dogs. Yes, his name is Harry,
and in that household he was literally the bottom of
the totem poles. Eleven of the dogs had more more
alpha ness than he did. And in our house he's
(10:06):
the alpha, which is so interesting. So one of the
things that I watch is that sometimes with a look,
he'll tell the other dogs, no, you can't have Genie
right now. Genie's might just with a look and they
get it. Get my turk right in.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, he's using that look, that angle and your prize.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
I'm the prize. Yeah, And it's it's so interesting to
watch because it's instant, it's peaceful, it's clear, it's not aggressive,
you know, I mean, it's just a statement of fact.
This is my person now it is. And what's cool again,
what's cool about my work is it's a statement of fact,
but it can be accepted or not accepted, and most
(10:50):
of the time it's negotiated, negotiated with a whole other
variety of actions that are called calming signals.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Okay, okay, So when this dog does the look, it
will be accepted because a blink will be made, because
a look away will be made, because a paul gets raised.
And that is what's so cool is what if you
(11:20):
knew how to do that with your dog? Yeah, that
would be you can you know? And that's what my
new book is. The emphasis of my new book is
teaching people how to do that.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Your new book is called oh yeah, Deeper than You Think,
How Dogs Communicate using calming signals, angles and emotions. So yeah,
that's your new book. Well, we're going to take a
short nope break. When we come back, I want to
hear some of your stories about working with animals and
applying these peaceful alpha methods.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Will be right back in just a moment.
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Speaker 1 (12:31):
Hey friends. If you like what you're hearing and want
to learn more, check out doctor Joseph's book The Human
Animal Connection, Deepening Relationships with Animals and Ourselves, or visit
the website The Humananimalconnection dot org to book an online consultation.
Thank you for loving animals. Now back to the show.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Let's talk bets on CET life Radio dot com.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
Welcome back to The Human Animal Connection. My host is
Jesse Sternberg and he's the author of Enlightened Dog Training,
How to become the peaceful Alpha your dog.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Needs and respects.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
So, Jesse, we were just talking on a break about
a wonderful story and I said, don't tell me now
if I tell everyone that story. So I really want
to hear that story. You were out with your dog
and as often happens, another person with their dog and
they want to meet.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So what happened? Okay, so yeah, this is actually like
a viral video. It's pinned in my Instagram. It's got
about ten million views, and it's just mind boggling. I
caught a little footage and a conversation, but it's basically
this little ten pound black dog chugging like a steamboat
toward the owner, not really asking, but sort of telling,
(14:00):
we meet you. Well, yes you can. I have one
hundred pound guard dog. He's unneutered, he's not fully trained,
he's he's young, and he'll want to discipline that dog. Oh,
not to mention what would it look like if the
roles were reversed. So they don't really know that they're
(14:22):
meeting me, and my life's work is about this angle
that they're walking towards me on and that's why it's
chaotic for their dog in the first blok. Yes, so
I've already moved off the sidewalk, off of this angle. Okay,
start signaling calm vibes to the dog that's coming at us,
(14:42):
and and they're approaching. I say, sure, we can approach.
Let me approach you and I because it's it's a
calling signal to come around another dog in an arc, all.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Right, So to come in a side angle like twenty
five degrees or something yet forty degrees, and actually to
go past the body and offer like a side of
your body for it to smith. The opposite of going
head to head, right, everything anything but head to head
(15:18):
is this is what we.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Do back at the off leash dog park. This is
what they would do if they weren't tied to a rope,
being long, straight line right, so they feel like they
have all their defenses they can get away, while this
little black dog doesn't necessarily is not approaching with social
etiquette of the video starts. It's like no socialized dog
(15:40):
would approach this way, right. It's quite controversial because I
edited it in a way where they could care less
about the dog choking, and they could They just wanted
to get the breakfast, and they just you know, they
saw my dog. They just wanted to come over and
see my dog. And there's that soulful layer to it
(16:03):
which was missing from that side. And so it blew
up with comments where that's where the world is right now.
Half the world is here, right like seeing the depth
and the layers and the other half they're just you know,
if they're in their ego and they've never tasted more.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
So, what actually happened? So you moved, You went forty
five degrees to side, You passed the dog. What happened next?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
On past they had a little nose kiss, but both
dogs were not standing calm. My dog didn't make the
decision to just stand calm with the leash loose, the
way I would describe it as the boundary I want
at the front door. He was so interested in the
commotion that was going on with this little dog, so
you know, in a micro second later, I just made
(16:52):
a leadership decision like all right, bubble, leave it and heal.
And he Didn'tkay filmed it. That's what's good. Point of
controversy is I offered a training tip because I was
recording this for my channel, right, you know, try to
hold the leash. I told her how to hold the leash,
and she didn't ask me for advice. Okay, first leave
(17:13):
it at that.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
For some drama, Yeah, okay, good, well yeah, definitely. Well,
dogs are communicating all the time, and as healthy dogs,
so well socialized dogs are going to accurately read the
signals and the cues and the calming signals, and they okay,
we can be friends signals, but if the humans are
missing the signals, we can override what the dogs would
(17:39):
would do well with, right is that kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
That's my that was That's what I believe that too,
is I believe I'm always making a signal, like every moment,
every moment as the dog approached us, and you know,
I'm already off to the side. Am I already different?
I already have med a different action, and I have
my dog on outside of me, So I'm already reflecting
(18:03):
that I have some control. I have my dog standing
still with the leash oose. I'm demonstrating I have my
dog with me in some harmony and we're being respectful
to the path that you're walking on. Yeah. Yeah, that
that get got missed by the owners, didn't get missed
by the dog, Okay. Brought the dog down from a
(18:23):
ninety nine to a seventy five.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Okay, okay, which is you know, can make all the
difference in the world.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
But which is also why my dog didn't have to
correct it. Huh.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Yeah, So what are some of the ways that dogs
do correct that's healthy harmonious corrections. We know unharmonious. But
what's what's a harmonious correction? What's an immortal correction? The confrontation,
what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Well, it's a confrontation and then there's a there's a
quick efficient confrontation, there's instant peace.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Oh okay, okay, this is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
So the goal is not to have zero confrontation, is
to have confrontation that's quick and efficient.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Goal is pace ace for the pack. Okay. And so
when you're saying you have three dogs at the door,
let's reframe that you have one pack and you have
one lead dog that you need to talk to. Okay, okay.
And when we talk to the lead dog in the
right way, the others are already in line.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yes, yes, yeah, And I mean fortunately my dogs are.
They're just in a massive excitement. There's nothing about and aggressive.
But my point being is like all all dogs want
to be in a harmonious state with one another. They're now,
we're not at the dog park being a bunch of
knees and ews. Wow, they're being a wee.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Yeah. And if there's a harmony without a sheriff, that's fine.
But sometimes often there's a sheriff okay, and when you
step into boy to will you step into that role
and you become that sheriff because there's always a dog
that's saying I don't like this. Ah well that's I mean,
(20:11):
you earned what you know, the respect you earned for
that dog. It can feel easy resting because you're in
the room. Okay, No, it's the puppy. Won't jump on him.
Uh huh, he's following me. It's like there's a guardian.
It's like being a guardian is more than just having
(20:33):
asking for behaviors. Yeah. Yeah, well, as you know, it's
so God.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I wish we humans could be we.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Like dogs.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
I mean, wouldn't that be amazing? And if there was
a good sheriff who could, like, you know, help when
things go. We're a miss. But for any of the book,
becoming the peaceful is you. You become in that state. Yeah,
get into that state with your dog.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I like that. Yeah, and you are the one. You
then become the one that is yes, because wherever you
end up going, you can use the signals and you
can influence harmonious states and use the signals which are
(21:23):
an aggressive person and deflate their aggressiveness.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
That's fascinating. Yeah, so that, and you know, so much
of this is so fast and so instant and obviously
without words. In the dog world, it's body language, it's
their positioning, it's their entering guage, plus the emotion that
they're feeling, and every language on the forbidden angle intensifies
(21:50):
the emotion and the body language and the signals off
of the off of the calming signals. They're all dancing
off of this forbidden angle because they are soothing the emotions. Yeah, wow,
this is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I basic emotions, basic emotions. Just want to clarify that
emotions of like oh I'm stressed. Oh oh, something sketchy
is happening in the room right now.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, this is interesting because I have to give a
guest talk at the University University Veterinary School, and I
would love to be able to teach them about this
angle thing because this would be really helpful.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Oh there, yeah, this is like I this is my
favorite topic. This is so this is chapter one of
my new book. It's the Forbidden Angle. The Forbidden Angle, Okay,
and I give that chapter away for free from my website.
That's great.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Well, tell people how they can get a hold of
you and this website in this chapter and read about
the forbidden angle. Very easy, peaceful Alpha dot com. That
is wonderful. All right, Well, do you have of one
last story to leave our audience with to inspire them
to learn how to better read their dog signals.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I think that when I grew up, what I desperately
wanted to know how to do was just talk to
my dog, Yeah, communicate with them and for it not
to be pretend. And it blew my mind when I
realized that they communicate to each other, and when I
(23:34):
had the epiphany about seeing it happening with twenty five
dogs all at once in real time and getting a
spiritual download about it. In my dog daycare scenario where
I would often meditate and watch forty to fifty dogs
for a long durations, just just being in the flow
(23:56):
with them and studying all the different dog train methods,
there is one method what stuck with me was this
woman toured Rugus, pioneer of the calming signals, and then
her alter ego, Caesar Malin, and both of them were
into the body language, but at different ends of the string. Yes,
(24:17):
and neither of them really showed me how they could coexist.
And that's what the peaceful alpha embodies, is that power,
but the wisdom and the restraint and not need to
flex it. Yeah, and so the conversations are really simple.
(24:39):
It's just about having them and you can actually have
them and know they're not in English, but they're with actions,
with actions. There was you know, it's so basic. But
it's the context, and it's the situational awareness, which is
what yes about call for me. It's a bit about
(25:02):
how can I call it a more situational awareness because
I see what I get when I have it.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing when we're here versus
being in our heads or you know, thinking about something
else and things go kind of haywire with the animals
when we're not really here.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yeah, yeah there or mirror when a wire? Where am I?
Yeah exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
I know, like when i'm you know, if I'm feeling
a little rushed and kind of rushing around getting ready
to leave and they just look at me like who
is this purse?
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
I don't like it when you rush around like that.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Great, well, wonderful. Well, I've been speaking with Jesse Sternberg,
and he's the author of several books, including Enlightened Dog
Training and Jesse. They can reach you at Peacefulalpha dot com.
Do you do remote training.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Also, or yeah, I got, I got courses, I go,
I got little mini coaching, one on ones, I've got
a couple of different ways because email me.
Speaker 7 (26:07):
All right, Well, thank you so much for being here
with us on The Human Animal Connection.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
We'll talk to you soon, and thank you all for listening.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
See you next show. Bye for now.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Thank you for tuning in to the Human Animal Connection show.
Please visit our website, The Humananimalconnection dot org. There you
can sign up for our free email newsletter, book a consultation,
or check out our blogs and resources. Our best selling book,
The Human Animal Connection is available on Amazon, and your
(26:38):
donation of any email keeps our nonprofit organization providing life
changing services.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
Let's Talk Pats every week on demand only on Petlifradio
dot com.
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