Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, and welcome to the I Can't Stand Podcast. The
podcast answering your questions on what life is like when
you have a disability. My name is Peter, I have
sebral palsy and i'm your host this week, I have
Ronan Sousa. If you don't know who Ronan is, although
(00:25):
I'm pretty sure you might, he was on Love on
the Spectrum in season two. He was keen to find
love and lucky for him, he found it in Katie.
We have a fantastic conversation talking about finding a relationship
when you have autism and the challenges that that can bring,
(00:46):
and how Ronan feels as an autistic person. This was
a bundle of joy, a fantastic chat. So without any
further ado, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hello everyone, Thank you for having me Peter. It is
truly such an honor to be here. My name is
ronand Sussa. I am twenty five years old and I
have autism. I live in Sydney with my parents, my
older brother and are two mischievous cats, Blade and Axel.
(01:31):
I went to mainstream school from year two and I
graduated in year twelve, which I am very proud of.
School was a little bit tricky for me at the start,
but in the end I did something very special. I
did life skills and it felt just perfect for me.
(01:57):
Life skills is like I didn't have to do any
tests or HC exams. Life skills was like bonus activities
for me to do and I found it so enjoyable.
Since then, I've worked in support and employment, which has
taught me a lot, but right now my goal is
(02:21):
to move into open employment. I am very passionate about
motor racing, especially the Formula Ones, the VA Supercars and
the World Rally Championship. I love acting and performing, doing voiceover, modeling,
(02:44):
playing the piano and tuba, keeping fit, and I'm a
black belt in karate. If I describe myself, I would
say I have a positive attitude. I'm caring and kind,
and of course I always like to do the right thing.
(03:06):
I like to live my best life and I like
to encourage other people to do the same.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Well, that's amazing. It's so great to have you here, Ronan.
What an introduction that was brilliant.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Thanks Peter.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Many listeners would recognize you from the incredible show Love
on the Spectrum. We're so happy that you found love
with Katie. What new perspectives on love and life did
the show bring you that you might not have had before.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Being all love on the Spectrum was truly such an
amazing experience for me because I really did want to
meet someone special, but I wasn't really sure if it
would happen. But when I met Katie, it felt just perfect.
(04:02):
Sometimes I used to see my brother with his girlfriend
and I really wish that I could have that, but
I was never sure how it would be possible or
how I would meet someone special. After being given the
opportunity to be on the show and to actually meet
(04:23):
someone specialized Katie, which was incredible, I felt so warm
and appreciated inside me. It's made me realize that I
can have someone special in my life who I can
care about and they will care about me and accept
me for who I am. And it's also shown me
(04:45):
that finding true love and having a relationship is actually possible.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, and Katie and I we do live a bit
of a distance apart, but we still make it work
because we get together as often as we can to
do something special that we both enjoy. As a matter
of fact, Peter, I was with Katie last Friday, we
(05:17):
both did water color painting.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Oh that's beautiful. What a good choice. Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I really enjoyed it. It was so magical and really
peaceful too, like Katie loves doing arts and crafts like
it really suits her well. And speaking of which, I'll
be seeing Katie again soon for our Christmas Day.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's so nice. I know you and Katie have been
together for over four years. Congratulations. What have been the
most valuable lessons you've learned and about maintaining your relationship?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yes, you're right, Peter, I can't believe that it's been
four years since I asked Katie to be my girlfriend.
So I truly thank you for the congratulations you said
to me. So far, this loving relationship with Katie and myself,
it's pretty fantastic because Katie is so nice, kind, caring,
(06:29):
lovable and cute, and it makes me feel so comfortable
when I'm with her. I think because we appreciate each
other and we also enjoy each other's company. I've learned
how to be a good listener and to respect Katie's feelings,
(06:50):
also to share her interests, be supportive and encouraging, and
to share lots of experiences together. We understand each other
and we always like to give new things to try
and best of all, have lots of fun.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
As I keep repeating myself, I'm sorry, happy for you, Ronan.
That's amazing. Love is really hard to find and unpleased
you found it with Katie.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I truly thank you for that pizza.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jody Rogers,
who was on the show with you. She is an
amazing human. What was it like to have her in
your corner while you were filming Love on the Spectrum
and did her support make a difference for you?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Meeting Jody Rogers was such an amazing experience for me
because Jody was lovely and friendly and she really cares
about helping people. When I met with her, she gave
me so much good advice because because the one thing
that I was nervous about was making conversation when I
(08:06):
went on my first date. But the good thing is
Jody gave me lots of ideas how to ask the
right type of questions to keep the conversation going geez,
giving me so much confidence and encouragement, and she's made
me realize that I had to just be myself, relax
(08:30):
and enjoy the experience, and that's exactly what I tried
to do, and Katie and I had ourselves a really
beautiful first date to get her.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I want to talk to you about when you were
first diagnosed with autism, Bronan. How did that experience shape
your understanding of yourself and the world around you.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So. I was diagnosed with autism when I was only
two and a half years old, so I don't really
remember much about that time. I didn't understand what was happening.
But I started going to speech therapists and occupational therapists,
which didn't make me very happy at first because I
(09:16):
didn't know what they were going to do, and that
made me very upset. I really just wanted to be
left alone and not interact with anyone because it made
me feel uncomfortable. I wasn't very social at all because
the unknown would really scare me, and the people were
(09:41):
unpredictable because most of the time I didn't know how
to communicate with them. I never liked going to new
places at first because I thought it would be very
scary for me. When I was young, I would get
very upset and have meltdowns because I couldn't understand why
(10:03):
I had to do certain things. I'm not really sure
when it happened, but I slowly started to realize that
some things weren't as scary as I thought. I began
to understand things better, and I started to feel more
comfortable being around people and go into different places because
(10:28):
my parents supported me so much and they encouraged me
to try new things. And the more I did this,
it gave me more confidence to find enjoyment in so
many things, and then my love of performing began. My
world was opening up because I loved it so much.
(10:55):
It's taught me to be confident and brave too. It
hasn't been easy growing up with autism because there was
so much to learn and understand, and I still have
anxiety about change and the unknown, but I'm able to
manage it much better now. And the best thing of all, Peter,
(11:18):
is that I want to live the best life I
can and enjoy all the things that make me happy.
I know I still need guidance and support, and that's okay.
I don't know how I would be if I didn't
have autism, but I'm happy with the person that I've become.
(11:39):
I feel very proud of what I've achieved so far.
I think it's made me a kind and caring person
because of the difficulties I've experienced. All I want to do, Peter,
is to be helpful to other people and to make
them feel happy and comfortable too.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Well, what an amazing goal to have. We are very
lucky to have you in this world. Monan. You're a
very good person, and I'm the same as you. I
don't really think about my cerebral palsy very much, and
it's made me who I am as well. I think
I'm a more empathetic, nice person because of my cerebral palsy.
(12:23):
For those who have been recently diagnosed with autism, do
you have any advice or words of encouragement to offer them?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
It is a bit tricky, Peter, because everyone has lots
of different challenges. I think the only thing that I
can say is to be open to trying new things.
I know that it can be hard and a bit scary,
but once you give it a try, it will become
(12:55):
more easier and more comfortable, and you will find things
that you can really enjoy doing. Also, another thing, too,
is try not to focus too much on your disability.
Just have a positive outlook, focus on your strength, and
(13:16):
try not to stress about the small stuff. Just be
yourself and do what makes you happy.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
As you've mentioned before, you love performing. I want to
talk to you because you clearly have an amazing voice
on these podcast People who are listening are in for
a treat because you sound amazing. Have you considered pursuing
a career in media because I feel like you be
a natural?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Well, I definitely have, with Peter, because I am very
passionate about doing voiceover and acting. I really like to
entertain people, by the way, and as a matter of fact, Peter,
I've done a few voiced over courses to learn lots
of skills. In fact, next year, Peter, I will be
(14:08):
doing some training at two RPH, which is a radio
station that reads to people with a print disability, so
they read newspapers and magazines to help support people who
are not able to read all those things themselves. I
am really looking forward to go there and learn about
(14:30):
radio production, podcasting, presenting, and of course storytelling.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
As you've mentioned, you've taken on so many important roles,
including volunteering, being an ambassador and advocate. What drives you
to dedicate so much time and energy to educate others
and supporting the community.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Being an advocate for autism and disabilities is something that
I love to do, Peter, because I want to help
make a difference in our communities so people can have
a better understanding and acceptance of disability. I think Love
on the Spectrum has helped to show the world that
(15:16):
people with autism have hopes and dreams like everyone else,
so I want to continue that message so communities can
be more inclusive and understanding and give people with disabilities
the opportunities to achieve great things. I really want people
to understand that we have feelings and goals we want
(15:39):
to achieve, and of course, to have happiness in our lives.
It makes me feel so happy to help people, and
I feel so proud to represent some disability organizations such
as the Autism Community Network, Bust Stop Films, and Stella Experiences.
(16:02):
Hopefully I'm helping communities to be more inclusive and not
to judge us because of our differences, but appreciate and
accept them instead.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
In your experiences, what are some of the key areas
of disability awareness that you feel are often overlooked and
need more attention.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I think we need to be more aware that not
all disabilities are visible. Autism is often known as an
invisible disability, which is hard because when people look at me,
they might not know I have a disability and not
understand the challenges I have. People living with autism might
(16:49):
show their feeling differently and communicate and behave differently. But
we have so many amazing things we can do, and
I really want communities to realize that all we need
to be given, Peter is just the chance. I really
(17:11):
want to encourage people to be understanding and patient if
they see someone struggling, because that person might have an
invisible disability. People just need to be patient sometimes, Peter.
Employment for disabilities also needs a lot more attention At
(17:33):
the moment, I am looking for open employment after doing
four years in support and employment, but it's not easy
to find a job because most places are not offering
opportunities to disabilities. Obviously, like opportunities need to be given
(17:53):
more to people with disabilities because it shows that people
with disabilities can actually do something.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Yeah, of course we can. We're very capable, and you
are a clear example of that. I think you would
be great in the workforce customer service. I feel like
you'd be perfect that because you're such a friendly and
personable person.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yes, thanks Peter.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
My last question, is there anything you love about having
a disability?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Ronan? The things that I love about my disability is
I have a strong, excellent memory and I can remember
so much information. My attention to detail is simply incredible.
I always never give up, Peter. I always stay determined.
(18:53):
My acceptance to all differences is very positive, and I
never judge Peter pol I'm so loyal, kind and of
course caring.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Thank you for listening to this week's episode. I hope
you enjoyed it. If you did, could you please leave
a rating and review on Apple or Spotify. It helps
more people find the podcast through the algorithm, or share
the show on social media, or let a friend know
that this show exists. I would really appreciate it. Thank
(19:35):
you so much, and thank you Ronan for your time
on the podcast today. It was such a pleasure talking
to you. Don't forget. You can always get in contact
with me over on Instagram. My handle is at Peter
Hook spelt p e t a Hook, or you can
(19:57):
send me An email I can't stay and podcast at
gmail dot com. Thank you so much for listening and
until next week, have a good one guys bye. I
would like to respectfully acknowledge they were wondery and bun
(20:18):
wrong people of the call and nation of which I
record the podcast today, and I pay my respects to
both elders past and present, along with and especially to
those in the First Nation's communities who are disabled themselves