September 23, 2024 • 23 mins
Originally recorded in June 2022
Ben Aldridge’s story is one of resilience, strength, and honesty. In this listener-favourite episode, Ben reflects on his time in the military, his experiences with mental health challenges, and what it’s like to live with a disability.
As mental health and disability continue to intersect in so many people’s lives, this conversation is an important reminder of the power of vulnerability and the need for community support. Whether you’re revisiting or discovering it for the first time, Ben’s story is sure to leave a lasting impression.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Before we get started this week, I just wanted to
let you know that this week's episode discusses issues around
mental health. So if you don't fill up to listening
to this week's episode, I totally understand. If this episode
does bring up any issues for you, can I encourage
you to contact Beyond Blue on thirteen hundred twenty two
(00:25):
forty six thirty six, Men's Help Australia on thirteen hundred
seventy eight ninety nine seventy eight, or for our Australian veterans,
Open Arms on eighteen hundred zero one one zero four six.
(00:51):
Hello and welcome to the I Can't Stand Podcast. The
podcast answering your questions on what it's like to live
with a disability. Peter, I have cerebral palsy and I'd
love to answer your questions. This week, I have Ben
On from thirty Foot Drop. Thirty Foot Drop you might
(01:11):
have seen on my Instagram. We work together a few
months ago. Now. Ben is such an amazing guy with
an amazing story. Instead of feeling sorry for himself after
his accident, he created this amazing foundation and he was
such a pleasure to chat to. So I'm going to
(01:33):
stop blabbing on and hand it over to Ben.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'm Ben Aldridge.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I'm a systemic advocate living in the southwest of West Australia.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So everybody listening better understands who you are. You said
you're a systemic advocate.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What is that? I lived experience of disability and as
an advocate I work between the disability community and organizations
and governments to actually improve the systems and how they
interact with the disability community. How this all came about,
I was serving in the military. I was quite young.
(02:20):
I was twenty two at the time my accident, and
I was serving in the infantry and I've just come
back from overseas and was suffering quite badly from post
tumatic stress that was due to events that happened over
there and left quite scar on me. But instead of
seeking the professional help that I needed, being young, male,
(02:43):
not particularly smart in the ways of mental health, and
I ended up turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism.
I started taking two new risks and one night found
myself urinating off the air of a rather large cliff.
Brian drunk, I've lost my balance and over I've gone,
(03:05):
so I've fallen ten meters or thirty foot and survived
behind a lot of what I do is looking at
what I want other people to know earlier, and how
we can actually make sure that people get educated, that
people understand more about mental health and the courage that
(03:27):
it actually takes to properly face your own mental health
and demons.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
How long between you coming home and you becoming disabled?
How long was that period?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So that period was na got me thinking about nine months?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, So who was been before the accident?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I was very much a bogum would be the best
way of describing myself.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I was very, very much.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Basically interested in using my body. So before I joined
the military, I worked a lot of very physical jobs,
from being a builder's laborer through too I was a
driller's offside or on exploration drawlings out in the middle
of the Tanami Desert. I joined the military because I
wanted to make a difference. I traveled a lot during
my younger years, and at the time, you know, it
(04:23):
was after the Balley bombings, after nine to eleven, I
really wanted to make a difference because so many people
were scared of traveling. There was this fear and it
wasn't right. Nobody should be able to dictate somebody's life
in that way. And that's why I joined now Idealistic definitely, definitely.
(04:45):
You know there are other ways to make that difference,
but that's how I felt I could do it.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Wow, So you know, and I think that's not uncommon
for young people to be idealistic. I was certainly very
idly sick when I was younger too, so I think
many people could probably relate to where you were coming from. Ben. So,
given that Ben before his disability, was so focused on
(05:12):
the physical and being able to be outdoors and accessing
all things and everything and travel, how was it to
redefine yourself as a disabled person when you were so
you know, pro on being physical in your own identity.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Not easily, To be really honest him, it has been
a real journey. I always describe my accident as the
crucible that has shaped my life. It's to go from
being this very physical person to.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Not being able to.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Do the things that I used to do to build
my resilience, you know, going camping for will drive and
challenging myself. This was how I built my resilience prior
to my accident. I've had to reinvent myself and in
a lot of ways, it's actually been a really good thing,
(06:19):
but hasn't been easy without the love and support of
so many people around me, Friends who have stuck by me,
friends that I've made along the way, you know, including
my best friend, my wife, who I didn't meet until
after my accident. Without them, it would have been so
(06:44):
much harder.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
To do.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And I suppose the biggest thing that I've learned is
that the stigma around needing to be strong and independent
and look after your own backyard. You know, a man
who can't deal with his own problems isn't a man.
The truth about that stigma is that it's absolute blogning.
(07:10):
There's nothing that There's nothing true about that at all,
because we are all impaired in our own different ways,
regardless of whether you identify as having a disability or
not or anything. We all have things that we're built
out and the things that we're not, and trying to
(07:31):
pretend that you are great at everything and asking for
help is really damaging. We need to actually have the
strength to ask people for help. And I suppose that's
the epiphany that I came to eventually.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
You were talking about resilience before. Did your military training
help you with gaining that resilience or would you say
that it was totally different skill set that helped you.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
The thing about it every lesson throughout life is that
you can reflect on it and take from it what
you want. The main thing that I learned from the
military is stubbornness. This ability to be able to look
at a goal and know that you're not going to
get there immediately, that it is going to take time
(08:22):
to actually reach it, and that sometimes you're going to
be banging your head against a brick wall until you
break past a barrier of some sort. That was definitely
a big learning that I've continued and I've taken on.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
How do you go from having your accident, having a
military background, and then forming this company and choosing to
name it after your accident.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
For me, the journey to where I've gotten to now
came from a lot of reflection. About five six seven
years after my accent, I'd started working again and I
started to get really frustrated and bitter about a lot
(09:13):
of the ignorance in society around the treatment of people
with disability. And for me, it was very stark because
it was actually the first time that I had actually
properly experienced discrimination. Prior to my accident, I'd lived a
very privileged life. You know, there was very little that
I had actually experienced, and so to suddenly be experiencing
(09:39):
this discrimination was an eye opener. And I had this
epiphany where at the age of twenty two, I had
my accent. That was exactly how I was treating the
disability community. You know, the poor little, poor little guy
who's in the border there and bring them out for
(10:00):
special occasions, given a pat on the head, and that's
all they need. That's how I saw the community. Now,
how could I make people realize? How could I go
about educating twenty two year old need to be a
better ally to the disability community. How can I show
(10:22):
them the reality of it? Millions and millions of dollars
get pumped into disability aware initiatives every year. Yeah, at
the time, the obviously weren't working for me. It was
about going right. How can we do things differently? How
can we be the leading edge? You know what's missing
(10:43):
here in Western Australia at the moment is a leading
edge company that's willing to try new things and willing
to fail, and that's what we do and that's how
we operate as through innovation. The aim of our business
is to put ourselves out of business. Employment means so much,
(11:06):
but it's more than work, and I suppose so much
of the non disability community don't really understand the importance
that comes with meaningful, lasting resilience employment, This ability to
be able to be financially independent. The societal norm about it.
(11:33):
You know, when you meet somebody for the first time,
normally in the first couple of questions it is what
do you do for crust? You know, what do you
work at? And being able to do that in a
way that is meaningful, it has a path towards growth
as well, is huge. What annoys me a lot about
(11:57):
it is just the lack of expectations these you know,
the idea that we should be happy with these pitiful
handouts or a job with no career prospects, or that
we should be happy with a job that's way well
owe our skills and our ability and our potential. I
(12:19):
was meeting with somebody. Now I do this occasionally because
it's an interesting social experiment. They had no idea I
had a disability. I've rocked up to the meeting without
any warning, and the change of facial expression and demeanor
is really stark. You know, they get that look of
(12:44):
always discomfort.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like anything, exposure makes something normal. So representation is the key, right,
So if it becomes like a normality that somebody with
a disability will to a business meeting, then people are
more likely to become more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It is you are completely right, the exposure of that,
the going oh wow, okay, well, this conversation is now
just the same as any other. It's just it didn't
stand up to shake my hand.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
What is it like as far as being a person
with a disability who identifies as male and the sort
of pressures that you feel, Are there pressures?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I'd love to know, yes, yes, yes, yes, there are
very much as a male in society, as something who
identifies as male in society, there are these expectations that
you are to be strong, that you.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Are to be handy, that you are going to be
able to defend yourself and those around you. I can't,
and learning to become comfortable with that has been part
of the journey, learning to deal with that vulnerability, to
(14:07):
know that if I'm home alone at night and somebody
breaks in, Well, I might as well just have a
chat with them, because there ain't nothing else I can
do about it. I struggled a lot after I first
had my accent with the idea of even being able
to have a relationship, a meaningful relationship. One of the
(14:31):
best things about my accent is the fact that without it,
I would never have met my wife. And I didn't
even think about relationships in that way until she mentioned it,
and it took me by surprise.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So how did you internally resolve or at least come
to terms with the fact that you can't quote unquote
fulfill the masculinity that society requires of a man.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I started to instead of looking externally for validation and
my physical sense, instead, a lot of validation comes from
my relationships around me, the value that I bring, the
(15:26):
respect in which people interact with me. Those relationships are
probably what has made me realize that there is so
much more to that than anything else. I mean, I'm
a father. I was petrified of having kids because I
(15:48):
could not I didn't have anybody to model off of.
So much of being a parent is modeling off what
your parents did. I couldn't do that because I couldn't
kick the footy eye, I couldn't build a coveyhouse. I
couldn't do all these things. And it's about becoming comfortable
with who you are and what you have to offer society.
(16:11):
Your happiness should never rely on other people's opinions of you,
and that takes time. It's not easy. It's it's and
still something that I struggle with, still something i'll wrestle with,
you know. It's yeah, I don't know. I know I've
(16:34):
kind of diverted and blabed a little bit there. But
I hope that's really answered your question, because I haven't.
It's not an easy question to answer.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
No, I fully appreciate that, and I think you answered
that beautifully. I just add a female with the disability.
There are so many innate pressures being female, as far
as body image and presenting a certain way, and really,
when I think about it, you've got the same thing.
It's just the different side of the coin. So for me,
(17:05):
it's really interesting to sort of hear about how you've
come to terms with it and how you've managed it,
because as somebody with cerebral palsy, I've never not had
a disability, so This has always been me, so it
hasn't been so much a process because it's always been
embedded in my own identity.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And that was the word I was about to mention,
There is identity. Identity is so important and something that
once again before my accident and up until five six,
seven years ago, is not something that I ever thought
of was important. But understanding your identity and I understanding
the ways that it can change and being comfortable with it.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
What would you tell the Ben before he went to
go stand on the cliff? What advice would you have
for previous Ben?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That life isn't always easy, but the only time that
you can ever stop trying to improve your life is
when you give up. I am at the point of
my life now and have been for about the past
(18:22):
decade that I would not go back and change a thing.
This is my life, and I am extremely happy and confident.
In fact, the direction that I was going before my accident,
and there's a good chance that I would be in
jail or have I was not in a good place
(18:45):
and I was not heading towards anything great. It's okay
to pause every now and then, to stop trying to
forward forward, to be kind to yourself, But as long
as you get up and try again.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
What do you love about having a disability.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
My life?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I have a life that I never could imagined that
I would be able to have. I am in a committed,
loving relationship. I have a son who, although unfortunately has
inherited a lot of the cheekiness of myself, is the
(19:31):
apple of my eye. I live in a beautiful part
of Australia. I have built this life that I love
and that's what I love about having my disability. Without it,
my life would be completely different, would be better or worse?
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Who knows? Who cares?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
This is what I have and I love it.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
And if people are listening today and thinking, oh, I
feel like I'm ben pre disability, I'm really not coping
with life. Life is really tough. We've all struggled through COVID,
there's financial pressures, there's all sorts of things going on.
What advice would you give those people listening today?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Mental health and mental illnesses are the most under respected
part of health. We need to as a society take
it seriously. If you're struggling with life, if things don't
(20:44):
seem to be getting better, if things are just too hard,
the more that you seek help, the more likely you
are to be able to turn things around. If you
don't take that action, then it becomes so much harder.
(21:08):
And the bravest and strongest thing that you can do
is to reach out, is to talk to somebody, is
to actually have that conversation. It's not weak to speak.
It doesn't make you any less of a person. We
(21:32):
all have our struggles and seeking help is the bravest
thing that you can do.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
What do you hope for in the future for disabled people?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Then what I want for the future is that people
are not one bit surprised, and the person who rolls
through the door to a meeting has a disability, that
(22:07):
they're not one bit surprised when the next person they
interview has a disability. That's the disability community are given
the support that they need to reach their individual potential.
(22:29):
That's my hope for the future.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And what a great hope. I couldn't agree with you more.
Thank you so much for today. I thoroughly enjoyed talking
to you. Ben. Thanks Peter, thank you so much for
listening to my chat with Ben from thirty foot Drop.
I will link all his details in the description if
you want to get in touch with him and work
(22:53):
with him. I highly recommend it as always, if you
could please leave a rating and I'd really appreciate it,
and also if you want to get in contact with me,
all my links are in the description as well. All right, guys,
thanks again for listening, have a good week. Bye.
Before we get started this week, I just wanted to
let you know that this week's episode discusses issues around
mental health. So if you don't fill up to listening
to this week's episode, I totally understand. If this episode
does bring up any issues for you, can I encourage
you to contact Beyond Blue on thirteen hundred twenty two
(00:25):
forty six thirty six, Men's Help Australia on thirteen hundred
seventy eight ninety nine seventy eight, or for our Australian veterans,
Open Arms on eighteen hundred zero one one zero four six.
(00:51):
Hello and welcome to the I Can't Stand Podcast. The
podcast answering your questions on what it's like to live
with a disability. Peter, I have cerebral palsy and I'd
love to answer your questions. This week, I have Ben
On from thirty Foot Drop. Thirty Foot Drop you might
(01:11):
have seen on my Instagram. We work together a few
months ago. Now. Ben is such an amazing guy with
an amazing story. Instead of feeling sorry for himself after
his accident, he created this amazing foundation and he was
such a pleasure to chat to. So I'm going to
(01:33):
stop blabbing on and hand it over to Ben.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I'm Ben Aldridge.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I'm a systemic advocate living in the southwest of West Australia.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So everybody listening better understands who you are. You said
you're a systemic advocate.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
What is that? I lived experience of disability and as
an advocate I work between the disability community and organizations
and governments to actually improve the systems and how they
interact with the disability community. How this all came about,
I was serving in the military. I was quite young.
(02:20):
I was twenty two at the time my accident, and
I was serving in the infantry and I've just come
back from overseas and was suffering quite badly from post
tumatic stress that was due to events that happened over
there and left quite scar on me. But instead of
seeking the professional help that I needed, being young, male,
(02:43):
not particularly smart in the ways of mental health, and
I ended up turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism.
I started taking two new risks and one night found
myself urinating off the air of a rather large cliff.
Brian drunk, I've lost my balance and over I've gone,
(03:05):
so I've fallen ten meters or thirty foot and survived
behind a lot of what I do is looking at
what I want other people to know earlier, and how
we can actually make sure that people get educated, that
people understand more about mental health and the courage that
(03:27):
it actually takes to properly face your own mental health
and demons.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
How long between you coming home and you becoming disabled?
How long was that period?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So that period was na got me thinking about nine months?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Okay, So who was been before the accident?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I was very much a bogum would be the best
way of describing myself.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I was very, very much.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Basically interested in using my body. So before I joined
the military, I worked a lot of very physical jobs,
from being a builder's laborer through too I was a
driller's offside or on exploration drawlings out in the middle
of the Tanami Desert. I joined the military because I
wanted to make a difference. I traveled a lot during
my younger years, and at the time, you know, it
(04:23):
was after the Balley bombings, after nine to eleven, I
really wanted to make a difference because so many people
were scared of traveling. There was this fear and it
wasn't right. Nobody should be able to dictate somebody's life
in that way. And that's why I joined now Idealistic definitely, definitely.
(04:45):
You know there are other ways to make that difference,
but that's how I felt I could do it.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Wow, So you know, and I think that's not uncommon
for young people to be idealistic. I was certainly very
idly sick when I was younger too, so I think
many people could probably relate to where you were coming from. Ben. So,
given that Ben before his disability, was so focused on
(05:12):
the physical and being able to be outdoors and accessing
all things and everything and travel, how was it to
redefine yourself as a disabled person when you were so
you know, pro on being physical in your own identity.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Not easily, To be really honest him, it has been
a real journey. I always describe my accident as the
crucible that has shaped my life. It's to go from
being this very physical person to.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Not being able to.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Do the things that I used to do to build
my resilience, you know, going camping for will drive and
challenging myself. This was how I built my resilience prior
to my accident. I've had to reinvent myself and in
a lot of ways, it's actually been a really good thing,
(06:19):
but hasn't been easy without the love and support of
so many people around me, Friends who have stuck by me,
friends that I've made along the way, you know, including
my best friend, my wife, who I didn't meet until
after my accident. Without them, it would have been so
(06:44):
much harder.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
To do.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And I suppose the biggest thing that I've learned is
that the stigma around needing to be strong and independent
and look after your own backyard. You know, a man
who can't deal with his own problems isn't a man.
The truth about that stigma is that it's absolute blogning.
(07:10):
There's nothing that There's nothing true about that at all,
because we are all impaired in our own different ways,
regardless of whether you identify as having a disability or
not or anything. We all have things that we're built
out and the things that we're not, and trying to
(07:31):
pretend that you are great at everything and asking for
help is really damaging. We need to actually have the
strength to ask people for help. And I suppose that's
the epiphany that I came to eventually.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
You were talking about resilience before. Did your military training
help you with gaining that resilience or would you say
that it was totally different skill set that helped you.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
The thing about it every lesson throughout life is that
you can reflect on it and take from it what
you want. The main thing that I learned from the
military is stubbornness. This ability to be able to look
at a goal and know that you're not going to
get there immediately, that it is going to take time
(08:22):
to actually reach it, and that sometimes you're going to
be banging your head against a brick wall until you
break past a barrier of some sort. That was definitely
a big learning that I've continued and I've taken on.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
How do you go from having your accident, having a
military background, and then forming this company and choosing to
name it after your accident.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
For me, the journey to where I've gotten to now
came from a lot of reflection. About five six seven
years after my accent, I'd started working again and I
started to get really frustrated and bitter about a lot
(09:13):
of the ignorance in society around the treatment of people
with disability. And for me, it was very stark because
it was actually the first time that I had actually
properly experienced discrimination. Prior to my accident, I'd lived a
very privileged life. You know, there was very little that
I had actually experienced, and so to suddenly be experiencing
(09:39):
this discrimination was an eye opener. And I had this
epiphany where at the age of twenty two, I had
my accent. That was exactly how I was treating the
disability community. You know, the poor little, poor little guy
who's in the border there and bring them out for
(10:00):
special occasions, given a pat on the head, and that's
all they need. That's how I saw the community. Now,
how could I make people realize? How could I go
about educating twenty two year old need to be a
better ally to the disability community. How can I show
(10:22):
them the reality of it? Millions and millions of dollars
get pumped into disability aware initiatives every year. Yeah, at
the time, the obviously weren't working for me. It was
about going right. How can we do things differently? How
can we be the leading edge? You know what's missing
(10:43):
here in Western Australia at the moment is a leading
edge company that's willing to try new things and willing
to fail, and that's what we do and that's how
we operate as through innovation. The aim of our business
is to put ourselves out of business. Employment means so much,
(11:06):
but it's more than work, and I suppose so much
of the non disability community don't really understand the importance
that comes with meaningful, lasting resilience employment, This ability to
be able to be financially independent. The societal norm about it.
(11:33):
You know, when you meet somebody for the first time,
normally in the first couple of questions it is what
do you do for crust? You know, what do you
work at? And being able to do that in a
way that is meaningful, it has a path towards growth
as well, is huge. What annoys me a lot about
(11:57):
it is just the lack of expectations these you know,
the idea that we should be happy with these pitiful
handouts or a job with no career prospects, or that
we should be happy with a job that's way well
owe our skills and our ability and our potential. I
(12:19):
was meeting with somebody. Now I do this occasionally because
it's an interesting social experiment. They had no idea I
had a disability. I've rocked up to the meeting without
any warning, and the change of facial expression and demeanor
is really stark. You know, they get that look of
(12:44):
always discomfort.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like anything, exposure makes something normal. So representation is the key, right,
So if it becomes like a normality that somebody with
a disability will to a business meeting, then people are
more likely to become more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It is you are completely right, the exposure of that,
the going oh wow, okay, well, this conversation is now
just the same as any other. It's just it didn't
stand up to shake my hand.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
What is it like as far as being a person
with a disability who identifies as male and the sort
of pressures that you feel, Are there pressures?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
I'd love to know, yes, yes, yes, yes, there are
very much as a male in society, as something who
identifies as male in society, there are these expectations that
you are to be strong, that you.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Are to be handy, that you are going to be
able to defend yourself and those around you. I can't,
and learning to become comfortable with that has been part
of the journey, learning to deal with that vulnerability, to
(14:07):
know that if I'm home alone at night and somebody
breaks in, Well, I might as well just have a
chat with them, because there ain't nothing else I can
do about it. I struggled a lot after I first
had my accent with the idea of even being able
to have a relationship, a meaningful relationship. One of the
(14:31):
best things about my accent is the fact that without it,
I would never have met my wife. And I didn't
even think about relationships in that way until she mentioned it,
and it took me by surprise.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So how did you internally resolve or at least come
to terms with the fact that you can't quote unquote
fulfill the masculinity that society requires of a man.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I started to instead of looking externally for validation and
my physical sense, instead, a lot of validation comes from
my relationships around me, the value that I bring, the
(15:26):
respect in which people interact with me. Those relationships are
probably what has made me realize that there is so
much more to that than anything else. I mean, I'm
a father. I was petrified of having kids because I
(15:48):
could not I didn't have anybody to model off of.
So much of being a parent is modeling off what
your parents did. I couldn't do that because I couldn't
kick the footy eye, I couldn't build a coveyhouse. I
couldn't do all these things. And it's about becoming comfortable
with who you are and what you have to offer society.
(16:11):
Your happiness should never rely on other people's opinions of you,
and that takes time. It's not easy. It's it's and
still something that I struggle with, still something i'll wrestle with,
you know. It's yeah, I don't know. I know I've
(16:34):
kind of diverted and blabed a little bit there. But
I hope that's really answered your question, because I haven't.
It's not an easy question to answer.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
No, I fully appreciate that, and I think you answered
that beautifully. I just add a female with the disability.
There are so many innate pressures being female, as far
as body image and presenting a certain way, and really,
when I think about it, you've got the same thing.
It's just the different side of the coin. So for me,
(17:05):
it's really interesting to sort of hear about how you've
come to terms with it and how you've managed it,
because as somebody with cerebral palsy, I've never not had
a disability, so This has always been me, so it
hasn't been so much a process because it's always been
embedded in my own identity.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And that was the word I was about to mention,
There is identity. Identity is so important and something that
once again before my accident and up until five six,
seven years ago, is not something that I ever thought
of was important. But understanding your identity and I understanding
the ways that it can change and being comfortable with it.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
What would you tell the Ben before he went to
go stand on the cliff? What advice would you have
for previous Ben?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That life isn't always easy, but the only time that
you can ever stop trying to improve your life is
when you give up. I am at the point of
my life now and have been for about the past
(18:22):
decade that I would not go back and change a thing.
This is my life, and I am extremely happy and confident.
In fact, the direction that I was going before my accident,
and there's a good chance that I would be in
jail or have I was not in a good place
(18:45):
and I was not heading towards anything great. It's okay
to pause every now and then, to stop trying to
forward forward, to be kind to yourself, But as long
as you get up and try again.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
What do you love about having a disability.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
My life?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I have a life that I never could imagined that
I would be able to have. I am in a committed,
loving relationship. I have a son who, although unfortunately has
inherited a lot of the cheekiness of myself, is the
(19:31):
apple of my eye. I live in a beautiful part
of Australia. I have built this life that I love
and that's what I love about having my disability. Without it,
my life would be completely different, would be better or worse?
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Who knows? Who cares?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
This is what I have and I love it.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
And if people are listening today and thinking, oh, I
feel like I'm ben pre disability, I'm really not coping
with life. Life is really tough. We've all struggled through COVID,
there's financial pressures, there's all sorts of things going on.
What advice would you give those people listening today?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Mental health and mental illnesses are the most under respected
part of health. We need to as a society take
it seriously. If you're struggling with life, if things don't
(20:44):
seem to be getting better, if things are just too hard,
the more that you seek help, the more likely you
are to be able to turn things around. If you
don't take that action, then it becomes so much harder.
(21:08):
And the bravest and strongest thing that you can do
is to reach out, is to talk to somebody, is
to actually have that conversation. It's not weak to speak.
It doesn't make you any less of a person. We
(21:32):
all have our struggles and seeking help is the bravest
thing that you can do.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
What do you hope for in the future for disabled people?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Then what I want for the future is that people
are not one bit surprised, and the person who rolls
through the door to a meeting has a disability, that
(22:07):
they're not one bit surprised when the next person they
interview has a disability. That's the disability community are given
the support that they need to reach their individual potential.
(22:29):
That's my hope for the future.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And what a great hope. I couldn't agree with you more.
Thank you so much for today. I thoroughly enjoyed talking
to you. Ben. Thanks Peter, thank you so much for
listening to my chat with Ben from thirty foot Drop.
I will link all his details in the description if
you want to get in touch with him and work
(22:53):
with him. I highly recommend it as always, if you
could please leave a rating and I'd really appreciate it,
and also if you want to get in contact with me,
all my links are in the description as well. All right, guys,
thanks again for listening, have a good week. Bye.
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