August 28, 2025 • 31 mins
Most men don’t have a weakness of skill—they have a weakness of self.
Your identity shapes your future, and your attitude is the evidence of what you really believe.
In this episode of The Impossible Life, Garrett and Nick break down the powerful connection between identity and attitude, and why so many men sabotage themselves without realizing it. Through personal stories, biblical truth, and even lessons from psychology, they reveal how your beliefs, values, and daily choices either reinforce—or erode—the man you are becoming.
If you’ve ever wrestled with self-doubt, inconsistency, or feeling like your actions don’t line up with who you want to be, this episode will help you recognize the blind spots and chart a clear path toward strength and clarity.
Donate for someone to take part in Mindset Mastery by clicking here. A gift of as little as $20 goes a long way.
Level up your life with IDLife nutrition by clicking here.
Apply to join Giant Killers here if you're a man that wants real accountability and training to become a leader.
Level up your greatest asset with us in Mindset Mastery. How you think will change everything in your life. Click here to learn more.
GET IN TOUCH
Advertise on the podcast by clicking here.
Growth focused content - https://www.theimpossible.life/blog.
Sign up for our Mission Ready Mindset Once-A-Week Motivational Email
Instagram - @theimpossiblelife
Your identity shapes your future, and your attitude is the evidence of what you really believe.
In this episode of The Impossible Life, Garrett and Nick break down the powerful connection between identity and attitude, and why so many men sabotage themselves without realizing it. Through personal stories, biblical truth, and even lessons from psychology, they reveal how your beliefs, values, and daily choices either reinforce—or erode—the man you are becoming.
If you’ve ever wrestled with self-doubt, inconsistency, or feeling like your actions don’t line up with who you want to be, this episode will help you recognize the blind spots and chart a clear path toward strength and clarity.
Donate for someone to take part in Mindset Mastery by clicking here. A gift of as little as $20 goes a long way.
Level up your life with IDLife nutrition by clicking here.
Apply to join Giant Killers here if you're a man that wants real accountability and training to become a leader.
Level up your greatest asset with us in Mindset Mastery. How you think will change everything in your life. Click here to learn more.
GET IN TOUCH
Advertise on the podcast by clicking here.
Growth focused content - https://www.theimpossible.life/blog.
Sign up for our Mission Ready Mindset Once-A-Week Motivational Email
Instagram - @theimpossiblelife
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's your weakness, it's not your technique.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood that sticks.
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
(00:37):
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
The real truth is this.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
The solution to any impossible task starts with this question,
If I had to what would it take?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What would it take? Welcome to another episode of the
Impossible Life Podcast. I'm your co host, Nick Surface, and
I'm looking across a man who thinks the cure for
society is a punch to the face. That's right, friends,
The Foremo ABC, Garrett Nunclebuck a man who thinks words
are often a wasted form of communication.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know, I'm going to say that a punch to
the mouth would be good for a lot of society
right now. I was telling Nick, you know, I think
a lot of the problem. I'm not advocating for violence
or assault.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
However, advocating against it either.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Though I'm not advocating against it, I think there's a
lot of people that it would do them some good
to get punched in the mouth for their foolish behavior.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah. This came because Garrett was driving home while we
were planning this episode and he's like, oh wow. I
was like, what's going on? And He's like, just some
people acting crazy out here because they know they don't
have to face the person that they that they're cutting off.
And I was like, yeah, people who.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like people act like there's no consequences.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, because there isn't. Oh, I can put it my
finger and like like yell at you and lose my
temper and I'm just gonna drive off my separate because
nothing's going to happen. And my exact responsor was like, dude,
I missed the days like when we were kids, there
was no social media. If you were talking trash about somebody.
I actually that person had heard about it and you
had to you had to like face them and oftentimes
it ended in a fight. And you know what, it
(02:30):
was amazing. It was a great way of like having
accountability for your actions and miss.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Well, you had to. You had to own what you
say and own what you did. And we live in
a society that's let a lot of people get away
with not having to own their words or own their actions.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, it's called social media. You could literally create a
fake account and go on and you know, Tommy tough guy,
keyboard warrior, everybody, and just go back to hide it
in your basement. It's ridiculous. Anyways, I didn't mean to
get distracted on that. That was more of a humorous
commentary on on you that I happened to agree with.
So we're going to get in today. We're going to
talk about identity and belief, and gee, I'm excited because
we're going to break down identity in a way that
(03:06):
we've not given it, the way that we're going to
piece it together today.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Two things we've talked about a lot and care about
a lot, but we're going to talk about it in
a different.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Way today, right, And if you if you listen to
every episode and you were like, you know, chat GPT
in real life, you could piece together what we're going
to say. Because it's not like we're going, hey, we've
had a complete U turn on everything we've said. We've
just not laid it out for people like this in
an orderly fashion. The reason we want to do that
is because so many people bump into identity. It's actually
one of the things that we cover the first thing
we cover on Mindset Mastery, because if you can't get identity,
(03:37):
you're going to constantly be bumping into a glass ceiling, right,
And identity is very strongly linked attitude, which we're going
to show you why, but quick.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's really what That's what I want people to get
out of this episode today is because Nick and I
both talk to men all the time, Men that we
care about, men that we're developing, men that we want
to help grow, and attitude. If you know me personally,
you know it's something that I care a great deal about.
But we talk with men all the time, and identity
is something that they're struggling with. It is it's something
(04:08):
that we cover in mindset mastery, and there's a lot
that comes to it. Identity impacts our performance. Identity is
a reflection of the way that we act who we
are and men are all need a stronger identity and
that's something that Nick and I work with men on
is helping them in their identity. And there's a lot
of work that it takes to really get those pieces
in place. So I say that to say, one of
(04:30):
the things that you can do that'll just help you
a ton in your identity is control your attitude. And
the takeaway I want people to have today after we
have this conversation is that they realized how important controlling
their attitude is because I think a lot of people
they're trying to develop their identity and they just let
their attitude go wherever it feels like going. And what
(04:51):
they don't realize is when they do that, they're destroying
their identity.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So that's what I want you to take away from today.
And speaking of mindset mastery.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Look at you, King of Transitions there, great job. Gee
I this is like the last episode that's going to air.
Oh no, actually the one on Monday will air as well,
but you've basically got two more episodes if you listen
to them the day they released, to go out and
apply for the scholarship that we have. If you don't know,
we had a former Mindset Mastery member she reached out
to us out of the blue. I won't give her
name because she asked not to, but I thought it
was an incredible gesture. She did the full year with us,
(05:22):
and she said it was so impactful for her and
just transformative that she wanted to give that back to
somebody else. So she's provided a scholarship paid in full
for somebody else to go. Now, I will tell you
we've had a strong responlogy, which.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'm Nick was going over the applications with me and
how many great applications we have and we've got to
pick somebody and we'll be able to pick. There's a
lot of great applicants though, and he said, well, what
are we going to do with all these other people
who you know, like applying and obviously they're a great
candidate for this product? And I said, I know who
(05:55):
to call. And so what we'd like to extend to
all of you is like, hey, look, you know, whether
you want to sponsor somebody you know somebody's entire year,
or you want to sponsor somebody for a day, or
you want to sponsor somebody for a month, or you
want to sponsor a portion of somebody all throughout the year.
We've got a page that you can go to the
Impossible Dot Life slash Give and you can go and
(06:18):
make a one time gift right or you can make
a reoccurring monthly gift and it'll have those options for you, like, Hey,
sponsor somebody's entire year, sponsor somebody's month, sponsor a day
every month. So we've got some options on there. This
is for people. Hey, maybe you're in Mindset Mastery and
it's been a huge blessing to you and you want
to give back to somebody else. Or maybe you just
listen to the podcast and you love us. You're not
(06:39):
able to make it to the course, but you want
to help some other people grow and all the things
we talk about in the podcast. Go to the Impossible
Dot Life slash Gift.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
By the way, you have to put www before that,
so it's www dot the Impossible Dot Life for a
slash gift. You'll have it all on there. Because we
want to we want to be able to not just
pick one person, because it'd be a blessing to be
able to pick multiple people. Gee, and that's what I
really hope before. So all right back to identity and attitude.
So one of my what I tell people, because it's funny, man,
(07:08):
we've been like I never thought I would write intros
for you when you would go speak, like, just as
being part of your friend has been like kind you
are a podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
You are my traveling hype man. It's actually really great.
I appreciate it when you when you wrote sometimes you
do them, but she wrote them for me, and I've
had you know, I've gone to speak other places multiple
times peop were like, man, it's a really great intro.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Who wrote this? Yeah? And I'm like, oh, well, and
I'll have people reach out and like, hey, Garrett speaking here,
can you send me his intro? And I'm like, oh,
you mean the one I wrote for him to introduce
him whenever I because I've gone to places and introduced
you as well. But I think other people have used
it more than I have, and I'm grateful to do it. Man.
You know, I love you. And but what I always
tell people is like when you hear it from Garrett,
you're gonna you hear from somebody that has I've never
(07:53):
met anybody that has a stronger sense of identity than you,
And yes, I know you better than I know a
lot of other people, and so that might be an
unfair comparison, but like you can feel a person who
has a strong identity, you're just kind of like, oh,
this guy, he's not moved the same way other people are.
He's not like external stimuli don't change him. There's no
chameleon skin here. And we're gonna dive into that because
I think there's a lot we can learn. But like
(08:14):
I love these old stories. Like the great thing is,
I've known you for four years and I had somebody
comment that I just met recently. They're like, it feels
like you Garret known each other for a long time.
I'm like, yeah, we spent a lot of time together.
But there's somebody who actually has known you pretty much forever,
and that's our good friend, pastor Josh, who's been on
the podcast regularly and he has the greatest stories. And
so whenever I want to hear like an og like
(08:35):
story about Garrett, and Josh is the one who says
Garrett knew who he was before anyone else. He loves
to tell these stories about when Garrett was a kid,
and like when you were a freshman, and everybody knows
when you're a freshman, the varsity players are gonna pick
on you. Like when I was a freshman, we had
to bake them cookies or they would you know, they
would just try make you carry their pads and stuff.
And Josh loves telling the story about how they were
like making all the kids carry their pads or threatening
(08:56):
them and they came up to you and they're like, hey,
carry these pads that we're gonna beat you up. And're
just like, not gonna do it. Just walked off and
they didn't know what to do. It's like and then
to hear Josh's commentary art is like one of my
favorite things because he's just like he's a disbelief, but
it's over and over again. When you were in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
There might have been might have been a little bit
of defiance.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
In me, just a bit, but but I look at
it like this, when people when you were in eighth grade,
people told you you were skinny, and you're like, no,
I'm not. I'm jacked I'm just and then you put
the work in. And when you were young in the
youth group that you were in and people were like
picking on you because you were young, you just kind
of want.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
To be I believe it or not believe it or not.
I remember why. I can remember why I didn't carry
their pets. They said, we're the seniors and you have
to right, And that's that's that was language that I
didn't agree.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
With, right.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And it's the same when people told me, you know,
they try to tell me who I was, and said,
you know what, that's that is your perspective. It is
not true right right. And to me, the two part
was like, well, have to implies that you would make
me do it if I choose not to. So well
let's see about that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Right. Well, that serves you well, because hey, you got
no chance here, uncle Buck, and you know there you
were getting pinned, and hey, you're going to go for
a run at the end of buds, Well you did.
And like, I just see these patterns in your life.
And that's why I tell people, like there's some things
that you should learn from and there's some things that
you should realize that are natural. And I say, all
that to say, like, you bring that in and as
a result of having that strong sense of identity, and
(10:30):
we're going to break this down. If you're just kind
of going, oh, that's great for Garrett, we are going
to break down the pieces that make this such a
strong identity so that you can understand them. And that's
really why I wanted to get to because Garrett was
telling me, like, how this whole episode spawned is He's like,
you always say that I have the strongest sense of
identity you've ever met, but I also really value attitude
because you say that attitude is like a reflection of
your identity, right, I mean that that was the whole
(10:50):
launching off point of this.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That's exactly what attitude is. Again, So this is for
people who feel like, maybe I don't quite know what
my identity he is yet. I can tell you when
I was young, I didn't necessarily know what my identity
was yet. But what I did have, and this is
one of the greatest gifts God's given me, what I
did have as a father who modeled attitude really well
(11:12):
for me, not just modeled it, but what like consistent,
not just sometimes but very consistent attitude. Right, My dad always.
My dad wasn't always you know, like Lindsay is happy
and fun pretty much all the time. People come up
and ask me, they're like, is she like this all
the time? Is pretty much about ninety five percent of
the time. That's but that's not exactly what a positive
attitude is. Like my dad, my dad's nice, he's nicer
(11:35):
than me, but he's not like Like's not that's true.
He's not like Lindsay though, where he's just like fun
and bubbly all the time. That's not what a positive
attitude is. It is positive who you look at things
and like, hey, what's the opportunity here? How could this
be good? That's positive. Negative is to look at everything
and saying, well, well, this is going to go bad.
I don't like how this is going to go you know,
(11:55):
you see all the wrong things that could happen. And
my dad always lived positively. So here's the thing that
you need to take away from attitude. Right, Like I
had this model for me, It's impacted every other in
my life. My dad taught me to have a great attitude,
and when I wasn't having a good attitude, he would
correct me. Right, this is where you've heard before. My
dad would say to me, I wish I could take
(12:16):
a picture of you right now. This is before the
age of cell phone cameras. He said, I wish I
could take a picture of you right now so you
could see yourself. And what he was saying is like,
if we take a picture, that's you, but the way
that you're being is what would get frozen in that picture.
And so I want What I want you to correlate
is that's attitude to identity. Right you may not necessarily
(12:40):
be able to define your identity, but your attitude over
time is what's going to define your identity. These things
are symbiotic. You can have, you know, an idea of
who you want to be, but when you say, like, hey,
I want to be a follower of Christ, I want
to be a strong husband, I want to be a
positive role model. You can say all of these things,
(13:01):
but then when it comes down to it, your attitude
does not reflect that, and thus you are struggling in
your identity. So that's what an attitude is. It's a
freeze frame about your identity, and you need to care
enough about your identity to understand that what's shaping your
identity is your attitude. And just to make it a
little bit more clear, what exactly is an attitude, Well,
(13:23):
it's you acting out your values. It's you acting out
what matters to you. Values are what govern your actions.
Values are the things that you say matter most to you.
And so you can say your identity is this, you
can say your values are this, but then your attitude
is really how you act it out. And so again,
(13:43):
what was the thing that I wanted people to take
away from this podcast today is how important your attitude is.
Attitude is where what you believe on the inside really
comes out. And so just like a scripture talks about
like without faith, it's impossible to please God, but also
show me your faith. I'll show you my works. What
you believe about your identity, what you believe about yourself,
(14:05):
what you believe about God. Ultimately it comes out and
what your attitude is. And so you can say you
believe one thing, but if your attitude does not reflect that,
then you have a false identity. And so if you
want to shift your identity, you need to start to
govern your attitude.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah, now this is so interesting that you say, because
when we were prepping for this, I told you I said,
I always think it's interesting how you unpack things. And
then I've had like I remember we talked about some
things on the podcast and doctor Robbie basically came on
and said the exact same thing. We hadn't heard him
say that before, and it was like, oh great, Like
clinical psychology backs up what we know to be true
as well. And when I said to Garrett, because he said,
(14:42):
the way you're acting every day is a reflection and
a reinforcement of your identity. So your attitude is a
reflection and a reinforcement of your identity, and I said, man,
that takes me back to when I did cognitive behavioral therapy.
Because when I went into cognitive behavioral therapy, if you
know the story, I was like, man, I need to
I need to figure some things out in my life
and specifically my marriage. And what happened was my marriage
got way better and my wife never went to any
(15:03):
cognate behavioral therapy. Aka I was the problem. So I
have a very skillful psychologists work in cognitive behavioral therapy
with me, and I remember it so like once I
discovered and if you don't know what cognitive behavioral therapy is,
I'll give you a very quick if you picture like
a clock, twelve o'clock is like the circumstances, right, And
your circumstances lead to your thinking, which is like or
(15:24):
you have your thinking on the circumstances at three o'clock.
Then at three o'clock, your thinking leads to your emotions,
which you would have at six o'clock. Your emotions then
lead to your actions at nine o'clock. Your nine o'clock
emotions then change the circumstances. If you can follow me
in this wheel, and then the pattern starts all over against.
So you have circumstances, what you think about those circumstances
that generate emotions that then generate actions that change the circumstances,
(15:45):
and you go in that loop all the time. And
if you could picture that clock in the center of
the clock where the normally where the minute in the
hour hand meet would be your core beliefs and those
feeds you're thinking, and that's like the center power of
the whole thing. And so I once this guy explained
this to me, I was like, man, finally someone's explained
why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and all these
things that I'm dealing with and I know how to
make a change. It was like a huge unlock for me.
(16:07):
And so, of course, being the guy that I am,
the learner and like wanting to maximize and go quick
and not pay the price or pay the price as
fast as possible, I was like, all right, so how
do I quickly change these limiting beliefs because I realized
all these limiting beliefs I had were generating this bad
thinking that was ruining my life. And he's like, oh,
that's easy. You just act your way. You act on
the new belief and I was like okay, And I
was like for how long He's like, well, until it
(16:28):
becomes the real belief. And that was like the worst
thing for me because I was like, that's not short.
So what you're telling me is that when I don't
feel like it, I need to be conscious of what
I believe and instead of just acting. However, the natural
feelings from my poisonous beliefs are that I'm getting I
need to actually go what do I want to believe?
I want to believe, you know insert X, I want
to believe I'm a winner. I want to believe, you know,
(16:50):
God has a plan for my life. So I'm going
to act as if that belief were true, and in
doing so, I reinforce it. I do that enough times,
and that becomes your new belief. And so I walked
out of there. I was both excited and very disappointed.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Because how many times? How many times do you need
to act like a good father before you are one?
This is what we've talked about before Ideal Self, and
this is a program we've done on helping people develop
their identities. Some of the yeah, some of the things
that helped shape to my identity from a young age,
(17:24):
where like I had some role models and those role
models just happened to be people like Batman and James
Bond and Jason Bourne and Jackie Chan all these characters
that I looked up to. But I would look at
them and I would say, Okay, what would they do today?
How would James Bond act today? What would how would
Batman respond to this situation? Because it's what I really
wanted to be. And so how many days do you
(17:45):
you know, some people might laugh at this, but how
many days do you act like Batman before you become Batman?
Some people might say, you can't actually become Batman? That's
why I use the example of how many days you
have to act like a good father before you become one.
People may struggle in their identity is because of the inconsistency.
The reason I have such a strong identity not the
(18:07):
only reason, but one of the reasons I have such
a strong identity is because I've had a really consistent
attitude for a long time. And so if I ever
have a moment where it's like, oh man, I totally
blew it today, didn't like the way that I acted,
really didn't like the thoughts that I was having. I
look back at my track record and I say, well,
that's not who I am. This is so different from
(18:28):
all the other things. The hard part is when you
is like changing your identity, and that's where you have
to get like that's what Nick was asking, is therapist,
you have to get locked onto you know what. I
would use some of what we've taught in the Fear before,
right where like, hey, I don't like the identity I've had,
It's costing me my entire life. Begin to despise the
(18:48):
old identity. Lock on the identity I used to have
isn't taking me where I want to go. This is
the new identity I want to have, and I'm going
to begin to act in accordance with that. You know what,
I've been a bad dad for a long time, but
not anymore. Now I'm a great dad, and today I'm
going to act like one. And even when I mess
it up and I screw up, I'm going to remember
(19:10):
the decision that I made in the decision I'm still making.
And what you've got to do is understand you'll make
less poor decisions when you realize that's your attitude, is
your identity. If I take a picture of you, if
I stop time and look at the way that you're being,
that's your identity on display. And so when you realize that,
like man, I can be Batman like in my life.
(19:32):
And I'm using Batman as like kind of silly, because
I think a lot like I put that on somewhat
of a pedestal, and I think some people might put
their ideal identity in this place of like why I
can never be that, the same way that a lot
of people think you could never be Batman. Well, if
I can look like Batman and be Batman for a moment,
then why can't I become Batman over time? And in
that same way, whatever's a difficult shift for you and
(19:53):
your identity, you're going to become that thing, one attitude
moment at a time.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Now, you reflected a lot of what I'm about to
break down. I want to break identity down because you
talk about attitude and if people could just have the
simple takeaway that, like I need to really shift my
attitude and make it positive, that would be a huge win.
But what I'm going to break down identity now for everybody.
And Garrett gives things all the time on here that
(20:20):
he repeats and you kind of get to the point
they're like, okay, yeah, and what does Garrett say to
anybody who's around them all the time? God has either's
breath of my lung. So there's a plan for my life.
Right because you believed what's the infinite potential? Unlock to you?
What's the first thing in the infinite potential online purpose?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
God is a great plan for your life. That's a
belief and potential. The other belief is that you can
have anything you want in life as long as you're
willing to pay the price for it. And when you
believe that you have a great purpose and you have
great potential. You're infinitely capable to go out and do
whatever God's put you on the earth and whatever God's
made you to do. That's what anybody should want, right, Like,
your infinite potential is not my infinite potential. But if
(20:56):
you never want to reach your great potential, just let
go of either of those beliefs. But if you'll have
those beliefs and say like, Okay, that's where I'm gonna
that's what I'm going to lock onto, right, that's a
piece of my identity is that belief, then your attitude
in any given moment will reflect what you believe. But
again it comes back to like I said, with the
faith and works, right, if you believe it, you've got
(21:17):
to actually act on it, or I would challenge, do
you really believe it?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, that's what I would say. I'd say, if you
don't act on it, you don't really believe it. And
that's the difference. People will hear what you said and
they'll be like, oh, I like that. Where's liking it
and knowing it in your bones? You've known it in
your bones since you were a young since you were
a young man, and so it's like when you really
know that God has a plan, your purpose for your life.
Why wouldn't you act certain ways? Right, Well, it's a
big part of it.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I want to make this connection for people. Okay, Scripture
teaches us this, right, Paul talks about it a lot.
I'll say it this way, in a really dumb down version,
if you really trust and follow God, you've got to
be willing to take a beating for him, right, Like
Paul models that. He exhibits it, right like you will
(22:03):
suffer for the sake of Christ. Okay, and that like
he's saying that this is the one thing that you
should be willing to suffer for. But what I'm what
I'm exhibiting and showing here is that you don't believe
something if you're not willing to take a beating for it, right.
That's what again, That's why going back to what the
silly story of me in eighth grade, I tested those
(22:23):
guys because I didn't believe that they would pay up.
I didn't believe that they would really push back.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
But when you really believe something, that means you're willing
to go through a struggle for it. And I think
where a lot of people shake and falter and their
beliefs is, they'll bet on them as long as their certainty.
I'll bet on God as long as as long as
it looks like God's going to win. But as soon
as it gets to this place where it's I don't
see how God's going to do it, well, let me
just fall back to my own plans. And that's where
(22:50):
you have an inconsistent identity and you have a weak attitude.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah, so let me I'm a quickly layout identity here. Gee.
And we could go super super deep on this, but
it's important for people to understand, and we've broken this
down on other podcasts. The Limitations series that we did
where we talked about beliefs was a for me. It
was like a foundational episode in really understanding identity. And
(23:15):
here's why. So because I unpacked so much of what
we shared on that episode afterwards in my own time
and I've added to it, and so much of what
people call identity is actually self worth and self worth
and identity are very very different. If you go on
worldly wisdom, your self worth is based on what you achieve,
what you've possessed, or what people say about you. And
so what happens is you are always either up or
(23:36):
down based on where those things are at. And because
they change all the time, your sense of self worth
changes all the time, and so how it looks is
you don't know the difference between self worth and identity.
So what happens is like, let's say you're the guy
that needs people to say good things about him. Well,
you know, so you're doing all these things and you're
pleasing people, You're pleasing the right people. Your career starts
taking off, and you know, you think, right, when I
get to this certain level, everything's going to be great
because people are gonna say all these things about you.
(23:58):
And you get to that level and it's kind of empty. Go, oh, well,
you know what, Actually I put on fifty pounds, So
you go become fitness guy. Then you become fitness guy,
you work out, people start saying all these great things
about how you look, and actually you still don't feel
any different about yourself and it still doesn't fulfill you.
So then you become skydiver guy because that's a little
bit crazy and out there, and once again you end
up like suddenly you're fifty years old and you're going
I need to find a twenty year old girlfriend in
(24:18):
a Corvette because I don't know who I am because
of my businessman, my fitness guy and my skydiver guy.
I don't know because you never understood that your self
worth is one hundred percent based on who God says
you are. So when you know you're loved, you don't
have to worry about your self worth, and then you
can actually address identity, which is being who God made
you to be. And identity is based on three things.
It's based on beliefs, vision, and values. It's where those
(24:40):
things come together. And here's what I mean. When you
have a strong belief, it's going to create a vision
which is going to then determine what you value, and
what you value determines how you act. So like when
you hear Garrett say, God had a plan and purpose
for my life and I knew that from a young age.
What was his vision? I mean, there's a reason why
he was drawn to Batman and Jason Bourne. You'll notice
he wasn't drawn to like, you know, some loser or
(25:02):
you know, I really liked that guy who died of
an overdose, but was like a rock and roll star.
That wasn't on Garrett's vision board. His vision was guys
who were going out there changing the world, doing dangerous
things that other people wouldn't want to do for the
good of mankind. And these are the people he was
drawn to. So that vision then creates his values, which
you've heard Garrett talk about how he values excellency, values,
positive attud We could go into his values. Let me
(25:23):
give you the example of how this happens by default
for most people. A lot of men and I'm speaking
as one who used to have one, have a core
belief that they're inferior. And like we said, if you're
saying you believe something, you're not acting on it. You
don't actually believe it. Because I guarantee you you act
on your beliefs whether you know it or not. And
that's why most people can't list their beliefs. But if
you think that you have a let's say you think
(25:44):
you're inferior, you have a vision in your head that
you're not supposed to win. And this is a lot
of people. I'm not supposed to win. It never works
out for me. So then because of this, you'll value
the wrong things, like hey, I value drinking a ton
of a beer or drinking a ton of whiskey because
it makes me feel good, and I don't often feel
good about myself, so I do that and to make
myself feel good. So what happens is they start drinking
(26:06):
a lot, and then they start self sabotage in the
areas that they are successful and because it's hard to
be successful and be a drunk and then guess what,
you just reinforce that core belief that you're in fear.
And that's called self sabotage. And people do this all
the time and they're completely unaware of it. But when
you have great beliefs that then builds the vision, you
then value the right things to go along with that vision.
(26:27):
And you know, Garrett is a great example of that.
And so like, I want to break that down for
everybody in a way that I never have, because Garrett
says these things all the time about I believe God
had a plan in purpose from my life. I believed,
and like he really believed those things, and so as such,
his vision was shaped and his values followed, and here
we are. And so I hope that that's helped people,
because attitude is something you value because of what you
(26:48):
believe and because of the vision that you have for
your life.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Right, So ultimately, your choices and your attitude is going
to reflect your identity, which is the things that you believe.
And I want you to have this picture that every
time you choose to have a good attitude, right, that
little stroke of belief, you're carving your statue of identity.
(27:12):
And I don't know, I honestly don't know enough about sculpture,
but I bet it is thousands upon thousands of strikes
that a chisel and a hammer take to carve something
like the statue of David. You don't get there with
like you hit it five times, It's probably tens of
thousands of little tiny strikes with a hammer and a chisel.
(27:34):
And every time you make an attitude decision, that is
you carving the statue. And every time you make a
poor attitude decision, you're just going backwards, right, some stone
is going back on the marble. And so maybe you
don't have a perfect picture of your identity. Maybe you
can't see what your statue of David looks like yet,
But what you can do is just choose to have
(27:55):
a good attitude, because what that at least allows you
to do right. It's like, well, if I don't know
what my identity is. Why should I start carving the statue? Okay?
Because it's practice. What's great about having a positive attitude?
Like I said, this is what my dad set me
up for success with. He set me up with. Son,
control yourself, son, fix your face, have a positive attitude.
(28:16):
And so when I could do that, the more I
got a picture of who I was, the easier it
was to become that thing, because I had already learned
how to control my attitude. And let me just as
we wrap up here, let me give a scripture. It
is one of my favorite scriptures, a scripture I use
all the time, which is an example of attitude reflecting belief. Okay,
(28:37):
this is James Chapter one, verse two through four. James says,
consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters. Okay, considerate joy.
That's an attitude. Joy's and attitude. Joy is not a happiness,
is a set of circumstances. Joy is an attitude. You
can have joy in any circumstances, just like it says
here verse two, consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
(29:01):
when you face trials of many kinds. Okay, So whether
it's good or bad, considerate joy. Why, it says, because
you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
That's a belief, right, He's saying, because you know, well,
you have to believe that the testing of your faith
produces perseverance. If you don't believe that, it would be foolish.
(29:25):
It would be foolish, just like Scripture says to those
who don't know God, to those who don't know Christ.
What the word speaks, it's foolishness. Paul said, you should
feel sorry for me and have sympathy for me if
I'm wrong that Jesus was the Messiah. So you have
to believe these things. But if you do, then you're
able to control your attitude in any circumstance. Right. The
(29:47):
word considerate is hegemi. It's a Greek word which means
to choose, to lead yourself to self govern. You have
to choose to have a positive attitude when you face
struggles because you know that your faith getting to t
your belief, your belief that well, even though I don't
know what's going on in this circumstance, I believe God
has a great plan for my life. That's exactly what
(30:09):
this is. Testing of your faith. Today could be a
bad day, but I'm going to have joy because I
know God has a great plan. That's exactly what this
verse is talking about. When you do that, you are
choosing to control your attitude. You're choosing to be someone
who carves their statue instead of letting the weather and
the rain and their sorrows carve their statue.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Thank you very much for listening. Guys, remember to share,
like subscribe. If you think that this would be something
that someone would enjoy, please send it to them. We
appreciate it all. If you want to get in touch,
you can follow us on Instagram at the Impossible Life.
You'll find us on there. You can also email at
Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com if you have
any questions. If you want to get in touch and
(30:51):
find out about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's the
way to do it. Thank you again for listening. Go
out there, think better, and live the impossible. See cans
it m
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's your weakness, it's not your technique.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood that sticks.
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
(00:37):
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
The real truth is this.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
The solution to any impossible task starts with this question,
If I had to what would it take?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What would it take? Welcome to another episode of the
Impossible Life Podcast. I'm your co host, Nick Surface, and
I'm looking across a man who thinks the cure for
society is a punch to the face. That's right, friends,
The Foremo ABC, Garrett Nunclebuck a man who thinks words
are often a wasted form of communication.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know, I'm going to say that a punch to
the mouth would be good for a lot of society
right now. I was telling Nick, you know, I think
a lot of the problem. I'm not advocating for violence
or assault.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
However, advocating against it either.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Though I'm not advocating against it, I think there's a
lot of people that it would do them some good
to get punched in the mouth for their foolish behavior.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah. This came because Garrett was driving home while we
were planning this episode and he's like, oh wow. I
was like, what's going on? And He's like, just some
people acting crazy out here because they know they don't
have to face the person that they that they're cutting off.
And I was like, yeah, people who.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like people act like there's no consequences.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, because there isn't. Oh, I can put it my
finger and like like yell at you and lose my
temper and I'm just gonna drive off my separate because
nothing's going to happen. And my exact responsor was like, dude,
I missed the days like when we were kids, there
was no social media. If you were talking trash about somebody.
I actually that person had heard about it and you
had to you had to like face them and oftentimes
it ended in a fight. And you know what, it
(02:30):
was amazing. It was a great way of like having
accountability for your actions and miss.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Well, you had to. You had to own what you
say and own what you did. And we live in
a society that's let a lot of people get away
with not having to own their words or own their actions.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, it's called social media. You could literally create a
fake account and go on and you know, Tommy tough guy,
keyboard warrior, everybody, and just go back to hide it
in your basement. It's ridiculous. Anyways, I didn't mean to
get distracted on that. That was more of a humorous
commentary on on you that I happened to agree with.
So we're going to get in today. We're going to
talk about identity and belief, and gee, I'm excited because
we're going to break down identity in a way that
(03:06):
we've not given it, the way that we're going to
piece it together today.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Two things we've talked about a lot and care about
a lot, but we're going to talk about it in
a different.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Way today, right, And if you if you listen to
every episode and you were like, you know, chat GPT
in real life, you could piece together what we're going
to say. Because it's not like we're going, hey, we've
had a complete U turn on everything we've said. We've
just not laid it out for people like this in
an orderly fashion. The reason we want to do that
is because so many people bump into identity. It's actually
one of the things that we cover the first thing
we cover on Mindset Mastery, because if you can't get identity,
(03:37):
you're going to constantly be bumping into a glass ceiling, right,
And identity is very strongly linked attitude, which we're going
to show you why, but quick.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's really what That's what I want people to get
out of this episode today is because Nick and I
both talk to men all the time, Men that we
care about, men that we're developing, men that we want
to help grow, and attitude. If you know me personally,
you know it's something that I care a great deal about.
But we talk with men all the time, and identity
is something that they're struggling with. It is it's something
(04:08):
that we cover in mindset mastery, and there's a lot
that comes to it. Identity impacts our performance. Identity is
a reflection of the way that we act who we
are and men are all need a stronger identity and
that's something that Nick and I work with men on
is helping them in their identity. And there's a lot
of work that it takes to really get those pieces
in place. So I say that to say, one of
(04:30):
the things that you can do that'll just help you
a ton in your identity is control your attitude. And
the takeaway I want people to have today after we
have this conversation is that they realized how important controlling
their attitude is because I think a lot of people
they're trying to develop their identity and they just let
their attitude go wherever it feels like going. And what
(04:51):
they don't realize is when they do that, they're destroying
their identity.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So that's what I want you to take away from today.
And speaking of mindset mastery.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Look at you, King of Transitions there, great job. Gee
I this is like the last episode that's going to air.
Oh no, actually the one on Monday will air as well,
but you've basically got two more episodes if you listen
to them the day they released, to go out and
apply for the scholarship that we have. If you don't know,
we had a former Mindset Mastery member she reached out
to us out of the blue. I won't give her
name because she asked not to, but I thought it
was an incredible gesture. She did the full year with us,
(05:22):
and she said it was so impactful for her and
just transformative that she wanted to give that back to
somebody else. So she's provided a scholarship paid in full
for somebody else to go. Now, I will tell you
we've had a strong responlogy, which.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'm Nick was going over the applications with me and
how many great applications we have and we've got to
pick somebody and we'll be able to pick. There's a
lot of great applicants though, and he said, well, what
are we going to do with all these other people
who you know, like applying and obviously they're a great
candidate for this product? And I said, I know who
(05:55):
to call. And so what we'd like to extend to
all of you is like, hey, look, you know, whether
you want to sponsor somebody you know somebody's entire year,
or you want to sponsor somebody for a day, or
you want to sponsor somebody for a month, or you
want to sponsor a portion of somebody all throughout the year.
We've got a page that you can go to the
Impossible Dot Life slash Give and you can go and
(06:18):
make a one time gift right or you can make
a reoccurring monthly gift and it'll have those options for you, like, Hey,
sponsor somebody's entire year, sponsor somebody's month, sponsor a day
every month. So we've got some options on there. This
is for people. Hey, maybe you're in Mindset Mastery and
it's been a huge blessing to you and you want
to give back to somebody else. Or maybe you just
listen to the podcast and you love us. You're not
(06:39):
able to make it to the course, but you want
to help some other people grow and all the things
we talk about in the podcast. Go to the Impossible
Dot Life slash Gift.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
By the way, you have to put www before that,
so it's www dot the Impossible Dot Life for a
slash gift. You'll have it all on there. Because we
want to we want to be able to not just
pick one person, because it'd be a blessing to be
able to pick multiple people. Gee, and that's what I
really hope before. So all right back to identity and attitude.
So one of my what I tell people, because it's funny, man,
(07:08):
we've been like I never thought I would write intros
for you when you would go speak, like, just as
being part of your friend has been like kind you
are a podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
You are my traveling hype man. It's actually really great.
I appreciate it when you when you wrote sometimes you
do them, but she wrote them for me, and I've
had you know, I've gone to speak other places multiple
times peop were like, man, it's a really great intro.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Who wrote this? Yeah? And I'm like, oh, well, and
I'll have people reach out and like, hey, Garrett speaking here,
can you send me his intro? And I'm like, oh,
you mean the one I wrote for him to introduce
him whenever I because I've gone to places and introduced
you as well. But I think other people have used
it more than I have, and I'm grateful to do it. Man.
You know, I love you. And but what I always
tell people is like when you hear it from Garrett,
you're gonna you hear from somebody that has I've never
(07:53):
met anybody that has a stronger sense of identity than you,
And yes, I know you better than I know a
lot of other people, and so that might be an
unfair comparison, but like you can feel a person who
has a strong identity, you're just kind of like, oh,
this guy, he's not moved the same way other people are.
He's not like external stimuli don't change him. There's no
chameleon skin here. And we're gonna dive into that because
I think there's a lot we can learn. But like
(08:14):
I love these old stories. Like the great thing is,
I've known you for four years and I had somebody
comment that I just met recently. They're like, it feels
like you Garret known each other for a long time.
I'm like, yeah, we spent a lot of time together.
But there's somebody who actually has known you pretty much forever,
and that's our good friend, pastor Josh, who's been on
the podcast regularly and he has the greatest stories. And
so whenever I want to hear like an og like
(08:35):
story about Garrett, and Josh is the one who says
Garrett knew who he was before anyone else. He loves
to tell these stories about when Garrett was a kid,
and like when you were a freshman, and everybody knows
when you're a freshman, the varsity players are gonna pick
on you. Like when I was a freshman, we had
to bake them cookies or they would you know, they
would just try make you carry their pads and stuff.
And Josh loves telling the story about how they were
like making all the kids carry their pads or threatening
(08:56):
them and they came up to you and they're like, hey,
carry these pads that we're gonna beat you up. And're
just like, not gonna do it. Just walked off and
they didn't know what to do. It's like and then
to hear Josh's commentary art is like one of my
favorite things because he's just like he's a disbelief, but
it's over and over again. When you were in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
There might have been might have been a little bit
of defiance.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
In me, just a bit, but but I look at
it like this, when people when you were in eighth grade,
people told you you were skinny, and you're like, no,
I'm not. I'm jacked I'm just and then you put
the work in. And when you were young in the
youth group that you were in and people were like
picking on you because you were young, you just kind
of want.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
To be I believe it or not believe it or not.
I remember why. I can remember why I didn't carry
their pets. They said, we're the seniors and you have
to right, And that's that's that was language that I
didn't agree.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
With, right.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And it's the same when people told me, you know,
they try to tell me who I was, and said,
you know what, that's that is your perspective. It is
not true right right. And to me, the two part
was like, well, have to implies that you would make
me do it if I choose not to. So well
let's see about that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Right. Well, that serves you well, because hey, you got
no chance here, uncle Buck, and you know there you
were getting pinned, and hey, you're going to go for
a run at the end of buds, Well you did.
And like, I just see these patterns in your life.
And that's why I tell people, like there's some things
that you should learn from and there's some things that
you should realize that are natural. And I say, all
that to say, like, you bring that in and as
a result of having that strong sense of identity, and
(10:30):
we're going to break this down. If you're just kind
of going, oh, that's great for Garrett, we are going
to break down the pieces that make this such a
strong identity so that you can understand them. And that's
really why I wanted to get to because Garrett was
telling me, like, how this whole episode spawned is He's like,
you always say that I have the strongest sense of
identity you've ever met, but I also really value attitude
because you say that attitude is like a reflection of
your identity, right, I mean that that was the whole
(10:50):
launching off point of this.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That's exactly what attitude is. Again, So this is for
people who feel like, maybe I don't quite know what
my identity he is yet. I can tell you when
I was young, I didn't necessarily know what my identity
was yet. But what I did have, and this is
one of the greatest gifts God's given me, what I
did have as a father who modeled attitude really well
(11:12):
for me, not just modeled it, but what like consistent,
not just sometimes but very consistent attitude. Right, My dad always.
My dad wasn't always you know, like Lindsay is happy
and fun pretty much all the time. People come up
and ask me, they're like, is she like this all
the time? Is pretty much about ninety five percent of
the time. That's but that's not exactly what a positive
attitude is. Like my dad, my dad's nice, he's nicer
(11:35):
than me, but he's not like Like's not that's true.
He's not like Lindsay though, where he's just like fun
and bubbly all the time. That's not what a positive
attitude is. It is positive who you look at things
and like, hey, what's the opportunity here? How could this
be good? That's positive. Negative is to look at everything
and saying, well, well, this is going to go bad.
I don't like how this is going to go you know,
(11:55):
you see all the wrong things that could happen. And
my dad always lived positively. So here's the thing that
you need to take away from attitude. Right, Like I
had this model for me, It's impacted every other in
my life. My dad taught me to have a great attitude,
and when I wasn't having a good attitude, he would
correct me. Right, this is where you've heard before. My
dad would say to me, I wish I could take
(12:16):
a picture of you right now. This is before the
age of cell phone cameras. He said, I wish I
could take a picture of you right now so you
could see yourself. And what he was saying is like,
if we take a picture, that's you, but the way
that you're being is what would get frozen in that picture.
And so I want What I want you to correlate
is that's attitude to identity. Right you may not necessarily
(12:40):
be able to define your identity, but your attitude over
time is what's going to define your identity. These things
are symbiotic. You can have, you know, an idea of
who you want to be, but when you say, like, hey,
I want to be a follower of Christ, I want
to be a strong husband, I want to be a
positive role model. You can say all of these things,
(13:01):
but then when it comes down to it, your attitude
does not reflect that, and thus you are struggling in
your identity. So that's what an attitude is. It's a
freeze frame about your identity, and you need to care
enough about your identity to understand that what's shaping your
identity is your attitude. And just to make it a
little bit more clear, what exactly is an attitude, Well,
(13:23):
it's you acting out your values. It's you acting out
what matters to you. Values are what govern your actions.
Values are the things that you say matter most to you.
And so you can say your identity is this, you
can say your values are this, but then your attitude
is really how you act it out. And so again,
(13:43):
what was the thing that I wanted people to take
away from this podcast today is how important your attitude is.
Attitude is where what you believe on the inside really
comes out. And so just like a scripture talks about
like without faith, it's impossible to please God, but also
show me your faith. I'll show you my works. What
you believe about your identity, what you believe about yourself,
(14:05):
what you believe about God. Ultimately it comes out and
what your attitude is. And so you can say you
believe one thing, but if your attitude does not reflect that,
then you have a false identity. And so if you
want to shift your identity, you need to start to
govern your attitude.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah, now this is so interesting that you say, because
when we were prepping for this, I told you I said,
I always think it's interesting how you unpack things. And
then I've had like I remember we talked about some
things on the podcast and doctor Robbie basically came on
and said the exact same thing. We hadn't heard him
say that before, and it was like, oh great, Like
clinical psychology backs up what we know to be true
as well. And when I said to Garrett, because he said,
(14:42):
the way you're acting every day is a reflection and
a reinforcement of your identity. So your attitude is a
reflection and a reinforcement of your identity, and I said, man,
that takes me back to when I did cognitive behavioral therapy.
Because when I went into cognitive behavioral therapy, if you
know the story, I was like, man, I need to
I need to figure some things out in my life
and specifically my marriage. And what happened was my marriage
got way better and my wife never went to any
(15:03):
cognate behavioral therapy. Aka I was the problem. So I
have a very skillful psychologists work in cognitive behavioral therapy
with me, and I remember it so like once I
discovered and if you don't know what cognitive behavioral therapy is,
I'll give you a very quick if you picture like
a clock, twelve o'clock is like the circumstances, right, And
your circumstances lead to your thinking, which is like or
(15:24):
you have your thinking on the circumstances at three o'clock.
Then at three o'clock, your thinking leads to your emotions,
which you would have at six o'clock. Your emotions then
lead to your actions at nine o'clock. Your nine o'clock
emotions then change the circumstances. If you can follow me
in this wheel, and then the pattern starts all over against.
So you have circumstances, what you think about those circumstances
that generate emotions that then generate actions that change the circumstances,
(15:45):
and you go in that loop all the time. And
if you could picture that clock in the center of
the clock where the normally where the minute in the
hour hand meet would be your core beliefs and those
feeds you're thinking, and that's like the center power of
the whole thing. And so I once this guy explained
this to me, I was like, man, finally someone's explained
why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and all these
things that I'm dealing with and I know how to
make a change. It was like a huge unlock for me.
(16:07):
And so, of course, being the guy that I am,
the learner and like wanting to maximize and go quick
and not pay the price or pay the price as
fast as possible, I was like, all right, so how
do I quickly change these limiting beliefs because I realized
all these limiting beliefs I had were generating this bad
thinking that was ruining my life. And he's like, oh,
that's easy. You just act your way. You act on
the new belief and I was like okay, And I
was like for how long He's like, well, until it
(16:28):
becomes the real belief. And that was like the worst
thing for me because I was like, that's not short.
So what you're telling me is that when I don't
feel like it, I need to be conscious of what
I believe and instead of just acting. However, the natural
feelings from my poisonous beliefs are that I'm getting I
need to actually go what do I want to believe?
I want to believe, you know insert X, I want
to believe I'm a winner. I want to believe, you know,
(16:50):
God has a plan for my life. So I'm going
to act as if that belief were true, and in
doing so, I reinforce it. I do that enough times,
and that becomes your new belief. And so I walked
out of there. I was both excited and very disappointed.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Because how many times? How many times do you need
to act like a good father before you are one?
This is what we've talked about before Ideal Self, and
this is a program we've done on helping people develop
their identities. Some of the yeah, some of the things
that helped shape to my identity from a young age,
(17:24):
where like I had some role models and those role
models just happened to be people like Batman and James
Bond and Jason Bourne and Jackie Chan all these characters
that I looked up to. But I would look at
them and I would say, Okay, what would they do today?
How would James Bond act today? What would how would
Batman respond to this situation? Because it's what I really
wanted to be. And so how many days do you
(17:45):
you know, some people might laugh at this, but how
many days do you act like Batman before you become Batman?
Some people might say, you can't actually become Batman? That's
why I use the example of how many days you
have to act like a good father before you become one.
People may struggle in their identity is because of the inconsistency.
The reason I have such a strong identity not the
(18:07):
only reason, but one of the reasons I have such
a strong identity is because I've had a really consistent
attitude for a long time. And so if I ever
have a moment where it's like, oh man, I totally
blew it today, didn't like the way that I acted,
really didn't like the thoughts that I was having. I
look back at my track record and I say, well,
that's not who I am. This is so different from
(18:28):
all the other things. The hard part is when you
is like changing your identity, and that's where you have
to get like that's what Nick was asking, is therapist,
you have to get locked onto you know what. I
would use some of what we've taught in the Fear before,
right where like, hey, I don't like the identity I've had,
It's costing me my entire life. Begin to despise the
(18:48):
old identity. Lock on the identity I used to have
isn't taking me where I want to go. This is
the new identity I want to have, and I'm going
to begin to act in accordance with that. You know what,
I've been a bad dad for a long time, but
not anymore. Now I'm a great dad, and today I'm
going to act like one. And even when I mess
it up and I screw up, I'm going to remember
(19:10):
the decision that I made in the decision I'm still making.
And what you've got to do is understand you'll make
less poor decisions when you realize that's your attitude, is
your identity. If I take a picture of you, if
I stop time and look at the way that you're being,
that's your identity on display. And so when you realize that,
like man, I can be Batman like in my life.
(19:32):
And I'm using Batman as like kind of silly, because
I think a lot like I put that on somewhat
of a pedestal, and I think some people might put
their ideal identity in this place of like why I
can never be that, the same way that a lot
of people think you could never be Batman. Well, if
I can look like Batman and be Batman for a moment,
then why can't I become Batman over time? And in
that same way, whatever's a difficult shift for you and
(19:53):
your identity, you're going to become that thing, one attitude
moment at a time.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Now, you reflected a lot of what I'm about to
break down. I want to break identity down because you
talk about attitude and if people could just have the
simple takeaway that, like I need to really shift my
attitude and make it positive, that would be a huge win.
But what I'm going to break down identity now for everybody.
And Garrett gives things all the time on here that
(20:20):
he repeats and you kind of get to the point
they're like, okay, yeah, and what does Garrett say to
anybody who's around them all the time? God has either's
breath of my lung. So there's a plan for my life.
Right because you believed what's the infinite potential? Unlock to you?
What's the first thing in the infinite potential online purpose?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
God is a great plan for your life. That's a
belief and potential. The other belief is that you can
have anything you want in life as long as you're
willing to pay the price for it. And when you
believe that you have a great purpose and you have
great potential. You're infinitely capable to go out and do
whatever God's put you on the earth and whatever God's
made you to do. That's what anybody should want, right, Like,
your infinite potential is not my infinite potential. But if
(20:56):
you never want to reach your great potential, just let
go of either of those beliefs. But if you'll have
those beliefs and say like, Okay, that's where I'm gonna
that's what I'm going to lock onto, right, that's a
piece of my identity is that belief, then your attitude
in any given moment will reflect what you believe. But
again it comes back to like I said, with the
faith and works, right, if you believe it, you've got
(21:17):
to actually act on it, or I would challenge, do
you really believe it?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, that's what I would say. I'd say, if you
don't act on it, you don't really believe it. And
that's the difference. People will hear what you said and
they'll be like, oh, I like that. Where's liking it
and knowing it in your bones? You've known it in
your bones since you were a young since you were
a young man, and so it's like when you really
know that God has a plan, your purpose for your life.
Why wouldn't you act certain ways? Right, Well, it's a
big part of it.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I want to make this connection for people. Okay, Scripture
teaches us this, right, Paul talks about it a lot.
I'll say it this way, in a really dumb down version,
if you really trust and follow God, you've got to
be willing to take a beating for him, right, Like
Paul models that. He exhibits it, right like you will
(22:03):
suffer for the sake of Christ. Okay, and that like
he's saying that this is the one thing that you
should be willing to suffer for. But what I'm what
I'm exhibiting and showing here is that you don't believe
something if you're not willing to take a beating for it, right.
That's what again, That's why going back to what the
silly story of me in eighth grade, I tested those
(22:23):
guys because I didn't believe that they would pay up.
I didn't believe that they would really push back.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
But when you really believe something, that means you're willing
to go through a struggle for it. And I think
where a lot of people shake and falter and their
beliefs is, they'll bet on them as long as their certainty.
I'll bet on God as long as as long as
it looks like God's going to win. But as soon
as it gets to this place where it's I don't
see how God's going to do it, well, let me
just fall back to my own plans. And that's where
(22:50):
you have an inconsistent identity and you have a weak attitude.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah, so let me I'm a quickly layout identity here. Gee.
And we could go super super deep on this, but
it's important for people to understand, and we've broken this
down on other podcasts. The Limitations series that we did
where we talked about beliefs was a for me. It
was like a foundational episode in really understanding identity. And
(23:15):
here's why. So because I unpacked so much of what
we shared on that episode afterwards in my own time
and I've added to it, and so much of what
people call identity is actually self worth and self worth
and identity are very very different. If you go on
worldly wisdom, your self worth is based on what you achieve,
what you've possessed, or what people say about you. And
so what happens is you are always either up or
(23:36):
down based on where those things are at. And because
they change all the time, your sense of self worth
changes all the time, and so how it looks is
you don't know the difference between self worth and identity.
So what happens is like, let's say you're the guy
that needs people to say good things about him. Well,
you know, so you're doing all these things and you're
pleasing people, You're pleasing the right people. Your career starts
taking off, and you know, you think, right, when I
get to this certain level, everything's going to be great
because people are gonna say all these things about you.
(23:58):
And you get to that level and it's kind of empty. Go, oh, well,
you know what, Actually I put on fifty pounds, So
you go become fitness guy. Then you become fitness guy,
you work out, people start saying all these great things
about how you look, and actually you still don't feel
any different about yourself and it still doesn't fulfill you.
So then you become skydiver guy because that's a little
bit crazy and out there, and once again you end
up like suddenly you're fifty years old and you're going
I need to find a twenty year old girlfriend in
(24:18):
a Corvette because I don't know who I am because
of my businessman, my fitness guy and my skydiver guy.
I don't know because you never understood that your self
worth is one hundred percent based on who God says
you are. So when you know you're loved, you don't
have to worry about your self worth, and then you
can actually address identity, which is being who God made
you to be. And identity is based on three things.
It's based on beliefs, vision, and values. It's where those
(24:40):
things come together. And here's what I mean. When you
have a strong belief, it's going to create a vision
which is going to then determine what you value, and
what you value determines how you act. So like when
you hear Garrett say, God had a plan and purpose
for my life and I knew that from a young age.
What was his vision? I mean, there's a reason why
he was drawn to Batman and Jason Bourne. You'll notice
he wasn't drawn to like, you know, some loser or
(25:02):
you know, I really liked that guy who died of
an overdose, but was like a rock and roll star.
That wasn't on Garrett's vision board. His vision was guys
who were going out there changing the world, doing dangerous
things that other people wouldn't want to do for the
good of mankind. And these are the people he was
drawn to. So that vision then creates his values, which
you've heard Garrett talk about how he values excellency, values,
positive attud We could go into his values. Let me
(25:23):
give you the example of how this happens by default
for most people. A lot of men and I'm speaking
as one who used to have one, have a core
belief that they're inferior. And like we said, if you're
saying you believe something, you're not acting on it. You
don't actually believe it. Because I guarantee you you act
on your beliefs whether you know it or not. And
that's why most people can't list their beliefs. But if
you think that you have a let's say you think
(25:44):
you're inferior, you have a vision in your head that
you're not supposed to win. And this is a lot
of people. I'm not supposed to win. It never works
out for me. So then because of this, you'll value
the wrong things, like hey, I value drinking a ton
of a beer or drinking a ton of whiskey because
it makes me feel good, and I don't often feel
good about myself, so I do that and to make
myself feel good. So what happens is they start drinking
(26:06):
a lot, and then they start self sabotage in the
areas that they are successful and because it's hard to
be successful and be a drunk and then guess what,
you just reinforce that core belief that you're in fear.
And that's called self sabotage. And people do this all
the time and they're completely unaware of it. But when
you have great beliefs that then builds the vision, you
then value the right things to go along with that vision.
(26:27):
And you know, Garrett is a great example of that.
And so like, I want to break that down for
everybody in a way that I never have, because Garrett
says these things all the time about I believe God
had a plan in purpose from my life. I believed,
and like he really believed those things, and so as such,
his vision was shaped and his values followed, and here
we are. And so I hope that that's helped people,
because attitude is something you value because of what you
(26:48):
believe and because of the vision that you have for
your life.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Right, So ultimately, your choices and your attitude is going
to reflect your identity, which is the things that you believe.
And I want you to have this picture that every
time you choose to have a good attitude, right, that
little stroke of belief, you're carving your statue of identity.
(27:12):
And I don't know, I honestly don't know enough about sculpture,
but I bet it is thousands upon thousands of strikes
that a chisel and a hammer take to carve something
like the statue of David. You don't get there with
like you hit it five times, It's probably tens of
thousands of little tiny strikes with a hammer and a chisel.
(27:34):
And every time you make an attitude decision, that is
you carving the statue. And every time you make a
poor attitude decision, you're just going backwards, right, some stone
is going back on the marble. And so maybe you
don't have a perfect picture of your identity. Maybe you
can't see what your statue of David looks like yet,
But what you can do is just choose to have
(27:55):
a good attitude, because what that at least allows you
to do right. It's like, well, if I don't know
what my identity is. Why should I start carving the statue? Okay?
Because it's practice. What's great about having a positive attitude?
Like I said, this is what my dad set me
up for success with. He set me up with. Son,
control yourself, son, fix your face, have a positive attitude.
(28:16):
And so when I could do that, the more I
got a picture of who I was, the easier it
was to become that thing, because I had already learned
how to control my attitude. And let me just as
we wrap up here, let me give a scripture. It
is one of my favorite scriptures, a scripture I use
all the time, which is an example of attitude reflecting belief. Okay,
(28:37):
this is James Chapter one, verse two through four. James says,
consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters. Okay, considerate joy.
That's an attitude. Joy's and attitude. Joy is not a happiness,
is a set of circumstances. Joy is an attitude. You
can have joy in any circumstances, just like it says
here verse two, consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
(29:01):
when you face trials of many kinds. Okay, So whether
it's good or bad, considerate joy. Why, it says, because
you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
That's a belief, right, He's saying, because you know, well,
you have to believe that the testing of your faith
produces perseverance. If you don't believe that, it would be foolish.
(29:25):
It would be foolish, just like Scripture says to those
who don't know God, to those who don't know Christ.
What the word speaks, it's foolishness. Paul said, you should
feel sorry for me and have sympathy for me if
I'm wrong that Jesus was the Messiah. So you have
to believe these things. But if you do, then you're
able to control your attitude in any circumstance. Right. The
(29:47):
word considerate is hegemi. It's a Greek word which means
to choose, to lead yourself to self govern. You have
to choose to have a positive attitude when you face
struggles because you know that your faith getting to t
your belief, your belief that well, even though I don't
know what's going on in this circumstance, I believe God
has a great plan for my life. That's exactly what
(30:09):
this is. Testing of your faith. Today could be a
bad day, but I'm going to have joy because I
know God has a great plan. That's exactly what this
verse is talking about. When you do that, you are
choosing to control your attitude. You're choosing to be someone
who carves their statue instead of letting the weather and
the rain and their sorrows carve their statue.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Thank you very much for listening. Guys, remember to share,
like subscribe. If you think that this would be something
that someone would enjoy, please send it to them. We
appreciate it all. If you want to get in touch,
you can follow us on Instagram at the Impossible Life.
You'll find us on there. You can also email at
Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com if you have
any questions. If you want to get in touch and
(30:51):
find out about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's the
way to do it. Thank you again for listening. Go
out there, think better, and live the impossible. See cans
it m
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