September 4, 2025 • 27 mins
Our culture says kindness is about being nice, agreeable, and making people feel good. But what if that definition is actually making men weak? In this episode of The Impossible Life Podcast, Nick and Garrett tackle the misunderstood fruit of the Spirit—kindness.
They dive into the original Greek meaning of the word, chrestotes, which points to being useful, beneficial, and fit for service. Real kindness isn’t about avoiding hard truths—it’s about speaking life, giving what’s needed (not just what feels good), and helping people grow even when it stings.
From mountain hikes and brotherly banter to biblical examples like Jesus and the rich young ruler, this conversation will challenge your view of kindness and equip you to live it out God’s way. What you’ll learn in this episode:
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They dive into the original Greek meaning of the word, chrestotes, which points to being useful, beneficial, and fit for service. Real kindness isn’t about avoiding hard truths—it’s about speaking life, giving what’s needed (not just what feels good), and helping people grow even when it stings.
From mountain hikes and brotherly banter to biblical examples like Jesus and the rich young ruler, this conversation will challenge your view of kindness and equip you to live it out God’s way. What you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why cultural kindness is about feelings but biblical kindness is about purpose.
- How to discern when telling hard truth is real love.
- Why being “liked” is a poor substitute for being useful.
- Practical ways men can embody Spirit-led kindness in their homes, friendships, and leadership.
Level up your life with IDLife nutrition by clicking here.
Apply to join Giant Killers here if you're a man that wants real accountability and training to become a leader.
Level up your greatest asset with us in Mindset Mastery. How you think will change everything in your life. Click here to learn more.
GET IN TOUCH
Advertise on the podcast by clicking here.
Growth focused content - https://www.theimpossible.life/blog.
Sign up for our Mission Ready Mindset Once-A-Week Motivational Email
Instagram - @theimpossiblelife
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
It's your weakness, it's not your technique.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast Andy just sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 5 (00:15):
Second an idea that is fully formed, fully understood.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
That sticks.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
(00:46):
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
The real truth is this The.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Solution to any impossible task starts with this question, if
I had to what would it take?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
What would it take?
Speaker 5 (01:10):
Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across the
man whose idea of celebration is waking his friends up
in the middle of the night and putting them on
a thirteen mile hike up a mountain that altitude until
they either reached the top or pass out.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's right, friends the phone.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Garrett, uncle back a man who will never be invited
to the party planning committee.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I mean, amend your statement until they reached the top
or they're not my friend anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Oh was that what we were hiking for? I didn't
realize that it was like a friendship or friendship. Oh well, hey,
we all passed some quicker than others. We're referring to. Uh,
of course Garrett for the past. This past weekend we
celebrated his birthday and uh, what do we do?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Gee?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Because we had this was like the best of times.
This like in twenty four hours.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I know how I I wanted to spend my birthday
and I said, you know what, you guys are welcome
to join me if you'd like.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I'm going to go climb a mountain.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So, I mean it wasn't exactly like that. It was like, hey,
this is the leaders trip for Mighty Man. So like,
you know, sixteen of us ended up going, which was awesome,
and we ended up climbing Pike's Peak in Colorado, and
we that gets up to fourteen one hundred feet.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I think it is not quite forty high.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, not quite as high as mounta Massa that we
climbed last year, but a lot longer.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This was a thirteen mile hike.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
One of those.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's one of the longest ascents and most elevation gain
of Colorado fourteen ers.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, we gained over seven thousand feet of elevation, which
if you've never been at elevation, you're probably going like,
oh cool, Like that must have been really pretty. Let
me tell you something. Once you started hitting ten thousand feet,
it's like someone gave you COVID and also like five
shots of whiskey, and you're just like you're all over
the place.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Man, it is you don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I don't because I've never had COVID in five shots
of whiskey. But I'm trying to combine things so people
can get an understanding. I kept, like I was saying,
the men who were like staggering, including myself, I'm like, oh,
we're just a little altitude drunk, because like you would
take a step and then you would have to like
put your hand up on a rock to make sure
that you like kind of braced yourself as you were
like taking the next one because it was good technical scrambling.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
It was it was a fun test.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
It was a fun test.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Now like literally twenty four hours before we know, actually
not even twenty four hours. In the same twenty four hours,
we played one of the nicest golf courses in America
together and like eight at this ridiculously nice place. And
then the next morning woke up at two in the morning,
started off at three am, and got ourselves right in
the thick of it. So it was a it was
a a very contrasting twenty four hours, Joe.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And then later that night, I, you know, was in
a blazer having a really nice dinner.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, well I was asleep on a plane, slumped up
against the side of a thing. Dude, I passed out
on that flight home. Anyways, the the reason we're talking
about this is one because it was a lot of
fun too, because while we were on the trail, you know,
what are you gonna do? You're gonna talk about all
sorts of stuff, because this took us about nine hours
to do, And one of the things that we were
laughing about is I was talking about how how Garrett
(04:13):
like I was reminding Garrett that kindness is a fruit
of the spirit. I was quoted to him because I'm like,
I'm like, oh, you don't believe in kindness? Is like,
I do believe in kindness. I'm like, dude, I'm like,
I'm looking forward to seeing it. And he's like, I've
been very kind to you, and he was adamant. He's like,
I just defined kindness as different to everybody else. And
I was like, Okay, this is starting to sound more
like more plausible, because you know, we all know Galatians
(04:33):
five twenty two and twenty three the fruit of the
spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
and self control. Now the thing is, I know my
friend Garrett, and I knew what he meant whenever he
said this, but it's really interesting, actually, gee, because we
like as we as we were talking about this, I
was like, this is actually something we should share with people,
because I think a lot of people's definition of kindness
is I'm going to make you feel good, like they'll
(04:54):
wear a B kind shirt.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think, and that kindness is a huge misconception. You know,
it's a misconception. And you were joking, so like I
wasn't mad about it, but a lot of people would
meet me and probably wouldn't you know, one of the
first five descriptors of my character wouldn't be kindness, but
that that would be until you understand what the Bible
(05:17):
actually describes as kindness, and there's there Unfortunately there like
something like there sometimes is there's a difference between what
the Bible calls kindness and what the English Dictionary calls kindness.
And so I'm not trying to be what the English
Dictionary calls kindness. And as I kind of knew what
it meant, but I didn't know this isn't a Greek
word that I had studied as much as I've studied
(05:39):
other words, and so it's really interesting. As we decided
we were going to have this conversation today and I
looked up the Greek word for it, and the definition
is actually something that I've said before, really matters highly
to me. One of one of my personal I wants
and I am like, who I want to be and
what I want to have with my life is I
want to be useful. That like that, that's an inner
(06:01):
drive for me. It's one of the things that drove
me to be a Navy seal. You know what navy
seals are. They're useful. People are glad people that I'm
their friend. They're glad I'm their friends. They're like, man,
I got a friend. He can do stuff right, Like
there's utility there, right, Oh yeah, Garrett will know how
to fix that.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Garrett would know what to do about that.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I want to be that way, right, And and some
of that comes from my dad that people call him
the boy scout. My dad always had like the right
tools and the equipment and the knowledge, right. I've always
wanted to be useful. And I thought it was so
interesting today as we were reading what the definition of
this Greek word is, and the Greek word is christos,
which means properly, useful, fit for service, well fitted or useful, beneficial,
(06:50):
and benevolent. These are some of the words that that
kindness means. And that's very different than what I think
what the world would call kindness.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Man, it's so interesting, by the way, real quick shout
out to Pops, to your dad, because you just mentioned him.
He climbed the mountain with us, and I will just
say at the top you could take a train up.
There was no one else that was hiking up that
mountain that was in your dad's age bracket. Like your
dad gutted that thing out.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
No, we met the one guy. We met the one guy.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, but he didn't go to the top. Remember, he
was just hanging out and then he ran back.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yeah, that guy was in really good shape. And he
did say He's like, man, this isn't as easy as
he used to be.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
So I only go this far now.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Your dad was like, oh, that's good to know my
first time. I'm just gonna keep going.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Well done, Pops. So we had to give him the
public honor.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well done to Pops.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
But it's so he also on the car right home, buddy.
It was hilarious. He was like, Garret's trying to kill me.
He's like, I think he's trying to kill me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I know. You can hear your dad say. That was
so funny.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Oh I call when I called him. When I called
him afterwards and was talking to him, I was like, oh, man,
he's out.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
It was. It was really funny.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Could tell he was the altitude of cook you man, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
It destroys you.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
But anyways, but so think about that because that word properly, useful, serviceable, productive.
This is I'm looking at the definition is that Cristos
is the word that's used in the Fruit of the Spirit.
It's also the same word that's using the Ephesians four
three two, which is be kind and compassionate to another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.
Now that sounds very like very pop culture definition of like, yeah,
(08:23):
let's be kind, let's be compassionate, because here's what here's
what Oxford kindness is. It's the quality of being friendly, generous,
and considerate. Isn't that nice? Like that's that's what the
world wants men to be. Is why can't you guys
be friendly, generous, and considerate. And sometimes if you're gonna
be useful to somebody, you're gonna have to tell them, dude,
you suck at this right now, like you're about to like,
(08:44):
kindness is, I'm gonna pull you back from the cliff,
even though you really want to go that way, because
it's waiting for you a few steps further, even though
you want it, even though it'd be fun to be like, yeah,
go ahead and sprint towards that you're having fun. Kindness
is I'm gonna stop you, because if you go over it,
it's way worse. And I don't think people think about
it that way.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Because I don't think they do.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I think people have a different understanding of kindness. And
let me just say where I think it comes from.
And this isn't this is not a blanket statement for everyone.
But this is just some of Garrett's weirdness coming out.
And don't I don't feel like I need people to
(09:21):
like me, right, I really, I honestly want It's kind
of weird. I don't need anyone to like me, but
I actually do want to be liked. I enjoy having friends.
I enjoy that people love and respect me, but I
don't need that. I like it matters more to me
to be useful than it does to be liked. And
(09:43):
out of that, right, I want to be a useful friend.
It's kind of and again, this is like some of
the nuance of me that you understand. It's where me
and humor clash, because that's where to me sometimes like
humor is about being liked more than it's about being useful. Right,
I'll sacrifice my character, I'll sacrifice the value of my
(10:03):
word for some laughs. You would rather be liked than
you would, you know, be useful. And I feel like
kindness and that's not all humor, but that's just my
clash with humor at times. And kindness can be some
of the same thing where it's like, oh, like let me,
let me say the things or do the things that
would make these people feel good that would have them
(10:24):
like me. And that's where like there is a that
is part of the definition of kindness. Right, let's make
some examples here. What would be a kindness is to
feed a homeless person. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that,
and the Bible says that you should do that. That is,
by by English definition definition and by Greek definition, a
(10:47):
kind thing to do that you would feed a homeless person. Okay,
And this is where like language is so powerful, and
this is where like words get diluted over time a
lot of the English language, which comes from the Bible,
but the definition of the word gets diluted over time. Okay,
So feeding a homeless person that is great. You know
(11:08):
Greek biblical definition of kindness and that is also an
English definition of kindness. But let's talk about where these
roads separate. To feed a homeless person very kind if
you keep feeding someone over and over again, or maybe
let's talk about like your children. Right, is it good
to feed your toddler?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Is it good to feed your eight year old?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Definitely? Right?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
What if you're feeding your eighteen year old and he's
never learned how to cook for himself or thinking that
he's going to have to work for himself, which turns
into your twenty two year old and your twenty seven
year old that isn't worried about feeding himself. He's not
worried about taking care of himself because you do all
of those things for him.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Now, what was.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Once a kind thing to do has become a cruel
thing to do. You are not useful to him. That
has no longer been evilence, right, benevolent. It's like what
a homeless person needs most is some food, right, or
at least I'm not necessarily a homeless person, but a
starving person. What a starving person needs is nourishment, is food,
(12:14):
But that may not be what a twenty five year
old boy needs the most. What a twenty five year
old boy might need the most is you know what,
you've had a lot of meals. It's actually probably better
that you starve a little bit. That would be the
kindness that he might need, that would push him to grow,
because what you want. But it's the same way that
God is with us. Sometimes the stuff that God does.
We've talked about this before. Sometimes our definition of good
(12:37):
is different than God's definition of good, and the kind
is the same thing. Right, God's version of kindness for
us is what would help us grow, what would help
us become useful and productive. And sometimes it's not a
very kind thing to do God. God allows us to
get sick. God allows us to go through troubles. God
allows us to fail, to get fired, to whatever, because
(13:00):
those are things that are going to help us grow.
And God is that is a kindness from God that
we might not consider a kindness. And so this is
where kind It's the whole takeaway I want anyone to
have from today is don't do things to be liked.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Right when.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
When when I would put a if I had to
put a tourniquet on my friend's leg after he's been shot,
that's a kindness. Right to fix someone's wound is a
kindness like that would be as similar of a kindness
as feeding a starving person. Right to heal a wound.
But when I put a tourniquet on my friend's leg
(13:40):
after he's been shot, he wants to choke me to
death because he's in so much pain. Sometimes fixing somebody's
wound is actually a terrible experience for them, right, Sometimes
you've got to remove the pain. Sometimes you've got to
remove the debris, wash out the wound. Now, it is
a kindness to clean someone's wound, that doesn't mean it's
(14:00):
going to make them feel good.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It would be a kindness for me to give a
nourishing meal to a homeless person, to a starving person,
It would not be a kindness for me to give
a bowl of sugar to a starving person.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It might make them feel good in the moment, but
it would actually leave them worse off. And so this
is the difference between kindness that is benevolent, that is good.
And this is what's interesting about in the concordance for
this word christos. It comes from It's a derivative of
another Greek word crayomi, which means to furnish what is
(14:38):
suitable or to be useful, and crastose is built upon
that word and the concordance I was reading says that
there is no adjective in the English language that conveys
the blend of being kind and good at the same time.
And so again, everything that I wanted to highlight in
this episode is that the typical, the cultural standard definition
(15:01):
of kindness is lost to the real definition of kindness.
The real definition of kindness is that you would be useful,
that you would be benevolent, that you would be good.
And sometimes that's a very warm experience for people and
it makes them feel better, but it is not always
the case. Sometimes the kindness you give to someone is
(15:22):
putting a tourniquet on your friend's leg who's been shot,
and it is a kindness that you saved his life.
That he's having the most brutal day of his life
and you're making it worse.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, I want people to really capture what you said
about how God will allow things to happen because his
definition of good is different to ours. While you were
saying that, I was thinking about the rich young ruler
because you think about Jesus like and you think about
some of the things that he said to people. I mean,
he told the Pharisees they were whitewashed tombs. Now we
might be like, yeah, he stuck it to the man,
(15:50):
that's like us coming at it from like beat our chest,
let's be macho. But I honestly believe that that was
Jesus being kind to them, because what was he doing them.
He was confronting them, showing them who they were and
giving them the chance. He was saying, you're clean on
the you're clean on the outside, but on the inside
you're filthy. You're like a dead tomb. The rich young
ruler says he looked at him and loved him, like
because because fruit of the spirit. Note that we read
(16:10):
this earlier. Fruit is that is not plural. The usage
of the word fruit in Glatians five twenty two is singular,
which means these are all together. It's not like you're like, oh,
I got love, but I'm still working on joy, peace, patience,
and kindness. These grow together, and they're in order for
a reason. So for Jesus to look at the rich
young ruler, Jesus, who was one hundred percent God, one
hundred percent man, he looked at him and he loved him.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And what do you tell him?
Speaker 3 (16:31):
This one thing you lack sell everything you own and
then follow me, and it broke the man, and the
man walked off, and did Jesus go chase him down
and be like, hey, man, come on, like I'm telling this,
he just let him go that and that to me
is a really that's not kind, right because because kind
would have been he would have gone over by the
definition of Oxford generous and consider him. Be like, hey,
(16:52):
you know what to why don't you give? Like just come,
we could use a guy like you. We could you know, like,
I know that money is really important to you and
it's actually in front of God, but we could actually
use some of your money to advance the kingdom, like,
and we want you around you you're a great guy.
That's that's being kind, right, Like, that's that's our definition
of kindness. And so I want people to grasp this
because sometimes then the kindest thing you can do is
(17:13):
to give somebody some truth that's going to help them
to grow. Because the difference between what we'd defining what
you read out in Greek kindness that just jumps out
at me as opposed to what I'll call Oxford worldly
kindness is one the Greek is full of purpose and
the Oxford is full of feelings. It's one hundred percent
about just make the person feel good, whereas what what
we're reading in the Greek kindness is all about purpose
(17:35):
and Jeeves, you would say that you've been very kind
to me, and you know, I don't know that a
lot of people would agree with that, but but the
growth and.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
We've actually had some people tell us the contrary.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Oh yeah, we recently had a podcast comment that and
I had to reassure the guy. The guy that was
a genuine, sincere comment, and we appreciate the concern, but
he was like, Hey, you don't need to unnecessarily humble
your co host. And what I assured this guy was
that all our banter is back and forth. I just
do mine off the air. And I will assure you
that I gave Garrett a lot of grief this weekend
(18:08):
while we were in Colorado, and it was a lot
of fun. I didn't care that it was his birthday.
I felt like he needed to hear some things. But
but but regardless, the kindness part of speaking purpose, man,
I can think of so many times when you said
things to me that like they stung, but like one
thing you've never had to say to me, G is like, hey,
come on, Nick, let's keep growing.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Like I want to grow.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I want to live a life of purpose, like full
of purpose, and so like I welcome these things that
you said now, I didn't always welcome them, but you
still offered them because why you saw purpose And let
me there's let me give you a few examples early
on if you like, what people always comment on is
they're like, man, you look so much different now, and
that's pretty obvious saying if you look back at old
pictures from our first episodes, or you look at videos,
(18:50):
and I remember you said to me, like you're like, dude,
you need you need to go. You need to get
hit weights, you need to start lifting more like you were.
You were telling me that like I didn't look as
good as I thought I did.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I did this like.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Project for orything when we first started, like we were
a year into the podcast. I was like, yeah, I
remember I showed you the picture and you're like, m
like you were so unimpressed of like how much I
had leaned up, and you're like, dude, you got to
get your shoulders looks small. You start to point out
all the things that you thought weren't very good. And
I remember I was like, man, forget Garrett, like, you
know whatever, that's just his opinion. Like literally, I was
(19:19):
just like, forget this guy. Yeah, I was like, forget
this guy. But you told me, and this is what
this I found true. You said, if you put on muscle,
your authority will grow. And I remember when you said
to me that kind of clicked in for me because
I was like, okay, because what do I care about.
I want to be effective for the Kingdom of God,
and I'm called to men and so like, if I
need to go be more, be stronger, and put on
(19:39):
muscle so other men can respect me. And it gives
me more authority to speak kingdom stuff in their life
than by all means, I'll do it. And I mean
since we've done in the past what three and a
half years, I've put on twenty eight pounds of muscle.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
It's been a lot of work, a lot of consistency.
But it's worth it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
And it's like and it's and I'll tell you it
did not feel good when Garrett said that to me.
Absolutely did not feel good to me. And I will
say that I'm saying the things I'm saying publicly, are
the nice version because you ripped me about it privately,
But it was always with the purpose another time whenever
I'm just thinking about ways you've been kind to me,
where people wouldn't think I had an issue with somebody,
(20:14):
and I was just like, man, I was just complaining
about it because I was like, I get this guy,
Like I just felt like it was a misunderstanding and
I didn't do anything wrong. And it was actually when
we finished a podcast, you sat down and you looked
at me, and I will say that there was no
there was nothing indirect about the way you addressed the situation,
and you very directly told me. You said, you need
to understand what's happening right now. You need to go
(20:36):
fix this, and you need to be the leader, because
you don't want to be the kind of person that
can't lead, that can only lead certain people.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So if you've got a conflict with this.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Man, whether you've done nothing wrong or everything wrong, you
need to be the one that initiates it and go
fix it. You need to go seek to understand. And
it's very firm words. You told me that I'd better
go fix it, and I remember it.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It felt like.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
It felt like when someone steals your lunch when you're
a kid, Like if someone ever stole your lunch and
you're just like like, that's how I felt. I was like, man,
I don't want it. This is the last thing I
want to do. And you were very direct about it,
and you know, and I went out and did it.
And when I was done, I understood what you meant,
but at the time I had no idea what you meant.
I was just like, Garrett's just like, he's being so
(21:16):
adamant about this and it's not that big a deal.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
That was what was going through my head.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But that is kindness.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
But I want to give an important clarification, Okay, because
people could take this the wrong way. I said those
things to you because I knew you could take it,
and I was pretty sure that you would change that
it would make you better. Right, I did say. I
didn't say that to be justified or right. And there
are times I'm not saying likeness. I'm not saying with you.
(21:44):
But there are times where I might have something that
I could say to somebody like, man, this would make
you better, but I don't say it because I don't
think they're ready to hear it, because it would not
be and it would not be kindness. And so like
that again I could have I could apply this to
like trying to help someone's wounds. If you don't know
what you're doing, you might just make it worse, right,
(22:06):
if you want to, like a good doctor is useful
and it is literally the Hippocratic oath, do no harm right, right,
and and so like you have to seek, like I
want to help you. I'm not saying this to like
just to stab you, right, just to cause you pain.
It was painful for you, but I was pretty sure
(22:27):
you could take it. And that's an important part of
the kindness there.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
No, I agree, And it was also from a place
of love and care. And I will say, like, this
is one of the things I think is lacking for men.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, we've talked, yes, but just because I love and
care doesn't make it kindness, right, right. I had to
also understand that you could take it, and you may
be wrong sometimes in that That's why they call it
medical practice. Doctors don't always get.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It right, right.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, it has to come from a place in love
and kindness. But don't think you can just say what
to whoever but you know, and that you're justifying it
well because I love them, because I care. Yeah, and
that that is not licensed for you to say whatever
you want.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Gee.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I think if you're still questioning that, because what we
don't want is like I listen to The Impossible Life
and they said I need to be kind to everybody
by just saying whatever I think is true. That is
not what we're saying. You'll notice the filter that Garrett used,
and he didn't say it this way. The filter was
that he was focused on the person that was receiving,
not on what he thought. What he thought in the moment,
because if you're focused on yourself, like well, this needs
to be said, no it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
It needs to be.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Said in the right time, when the person's ready to
receive it. I've had an experience like this, you know.
I was saying, brotherhood is sorely lacking in America because
I don't think there's a lot of men that have
an understanding of principles and standards that are like living purposely.
And we obviously we're privileged enough that we get to
be a mighty man. And so I was sat in
a circle as a mighty man in the past year
or so, and I was sat with a man who's
(23:55):
been going through some genuinely hard times. He'd been going
through some genuine tough times. I think anybody would have
listened to and would have been like, man.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I'm sorry you're going through it, and that that was
definitely you know, we were like, man, this is this
is tough. But I was listening to this man talk
about these problems and he was in tears, and I
just felt this like welling up inside me of the
Holy Spirit, and I just said to him, I said, hey,
look right now, because it was things to do with
this family. I said, what's your family needs They need
to They need to see a man that they can follow.
They don't need a guy who's going to be upset
(24:23):
and and and being, you know, in tears because of
what's happening. I was like, but they're not going to
follow you right now if you don't give them something
to respect. And and he was talking about like how
he said some of the right things and they wouldn't follow.
And I looked at him, I said, you know what,
you need to meet people where they're at and give
them something they can see. And this man happened to
be overweight, and so I said this to this man.
I said, hey, if you started getting yourself in shape,
(24:45):
I promise you people would start treating you differently.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Something.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Hey, where did I hear that from?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Somebody said it to me one right, And I'm just
saying this because it's like I will tell you I've
sat I sat with this man multiple times.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
But in this time it was a holy spirit thing.
I felt it was the right thing. Say.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Now I said it to this man. He received it,
and he's gone on to lose over one hundred pounds.
He's like a different person.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
His chest is out, he comes in, his head's a
little bit higher. And guess what, you look at me
and go, okay, I can respect this guy.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Now not every person has, Like what the takeaway I
want you to have is not that because I had this,
you know, really firm word. It's because it was the
Holy Spirit. Like if the fruit of the spirit, keep
in mind, that's the key thing that that's in here.
We can just focus on the fruit. But the fruit
of the spirit, not the fruit of I read the
book a lot or I developed myself. The fruit of
the spirit aka you're led by the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithless, gentleness,
(25:38):
and self control. And what I know is that when
you're pressing into the presence of God and you're practicing
the presence of God, you start to begin to develop
and recognize the voice of God. And so when you
get into moments like that, sometimes God will impress a
word on your heart and you can speak that in
that in what we would call is Greek kindness, and
you can see radical transformation. But don't mistake what we're saying.
(25:58):
This is not licensed to go shoot your mouth off
and tell everybody. Well, let me tell you what you
really do. You look fat in those genes. Like if
you get punched for that, you probably deserve.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It, because this needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
From a place of love, knowing the person can receive
it and spirit led is that phaigie.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I hope that you guys are going away understanding this,
Like faithful are the wounds of a friend. Be that
kind of friend that stands in the gap for a person.
Be the kind of person that wants to be useful,
that's gonna love people and give them the word that
they need in time and be Let your kindness be useful,
Let it be well resourced, let it be beneficial, and
let it be benevolent for every single person that comes
(26:36):
in contact with you. We don't need passive men that
are going to make people feel good. We need kind
men who are going to do what it takes. Speak
from love, be led by the spirit, and change lives.
Thank you very much for listening. Guys, remember to share,
like subscribe. If you think that this would be something
that someone would enjoy it, please send it to them.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
We appreciate it all.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
If you want to get in touch, you can follow
us on Instagram at the Impossible Life. You'll find us
on there. You can also email at Impossible Life Podcasts
at gmail dot.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Com if you have any questions.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
If you want to get in touch and find out
about Carrott's personal or business coaching, that's the way to
do it. Thank you again for listening. Go out there
and think better and live the impossible. You see you
again soon.
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
It's your weakness, it's not your technique.
Speaker 4 (00:08):
Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast Andy just sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 5 (00:15):
Second an idea that is fully formed, fully understood.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
That sticks.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
(00:46):
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
The real truth is this The.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Solution to any impossible task starts with this question, if
I had to what would it take?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
What would it take?
Speaker 5 (01:10):
Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across the
man whose idea of celebration is waking his friends up
in the middle of the night and putting them on
a thirteen mile hike up a mountain that altitude until
they either reached the top or pass out.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That's right, friends the phone.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Garrett, uncle back a man who will never be invited
to the party planning committee.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I mean, amend your statement until they reached the top
or they're not my friend anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Oh was that what we were hiking for? I didn't
realize that it was like a friendship or friendship. Oh well, hey,
we all passed some quicker than others. We're referring to. Uh,
of course Garrett for the past. This past weekend we
celebrated his birthday and uh, what do we do?
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Gee?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Because we had this was like the best of times.
This like in twenty four hours.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I know how I I wanted to spend my birthday
and I said, you know what, you guys are welcome
to join me if you'd like.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
I'm going to go climb a mountain.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So, I mean it wasn't exactly like that. It was like, hey,
this is the leaders trip for Mighty Man. So like,
you know, sixteen of us ended up going, which was awesome,
and we ended up climbing Pike's Peak in Colorado, and
we that gets up to fourteen one hundred feet.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I think it is not quite forty high.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, not quite as high as mounta Massa that we
climbed last year, but a lot longer.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This was a thirteen mile hike.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
One of those.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's one of the longest ascents and most elevation gain
of Colorado fourteen ers.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, we gained over seven thousand feet of elevation, which
if you've never been at elevation, you're probably going like,
oh cool, Like that must have been really pretty. Let
me tell you something. Once you started hitting ten thousand feet,
it's like someone gave you COVID and also like five
shots of whiskey, and you're just like you're all over
the place.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
Man, it is you don't know what that feels like.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I don't because I've never had COVID in five shots
of whiskey. But I'm trying to combine things so people
can get an understanding. I kept, like I was saying,
the men who were like staggering, including myself, I'm like, oh,
we're just a little altitude drunk, because like you would
take a step and then you would have to like
put your hand up on a rock to make sure
that you like kind of braced yourself as you were
like taking the next one because it was good technical scrambling.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
It was it was a fun test.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
It was a fun test.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Now like literally twenty four hours before we know, actually
not even twenty four hours. In the same twenty four hours,
we played one of the nicest golf courses in America
together and like eight at this ridiculously nice place. And
then the next morning woke up at two in the morning,
started off at three am, and got ourselves right in
the thick of it. So it was a it was
a a very contrasting twenty four hours, Joe.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And then later that night, I, you know, was in
a blazer having a really nice dinner.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, well I was asleep on a plane, slumped up
against the side of a thing. Dude, I passed out
on that flight home. Anyways, the the reason we're talking
about this is one because it was a lot of
fun too, because while we were on the trail, you know,
what are you gonna do? You're gonna talk about all
sorts of stuff, because this took us about nine hours
to do, And one of the things that we were
laughing about is I was talking about how how Garrett
(04:13):
like I was reminding Garrett that kindness is a fruit
of the spirit. I was quoted to him because I'm like,
I'm like, oh, you don't believe in kindness? Is like,
I do believe in kindness. I'm like, dude, I'm like,
I'm looking forward to seeing it. And he's like, I've
been very kind to you, and he was adamant. He's like,
I just defined kindness as different to everybody else. And
I was like, Okay, this is starting to sound more
like more plausible, because you know, we all know Galatians
(04:33):
five twenty two and twenty three the fruit of the
spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
and self control. Now the thing is, I know my
friend Garrett, and I knew what he meant whenever he
said this, but it's really interesting, actually, gee, because we
like as we as we were talking about this, I
was like, this is actually something we should share with people,
because I think a lot of people's definition of kindness
is I'm going to make you feel good, like they'll
(04:54):
wear a B kind shirt.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think, and that kindness is a huge misconception. You know,
it's a misconception. And you were joking, so like I
wasn't mad about it, but a lot of people would
meet me and probably wouldn't you know, one of the
first five descriptors of my character wouldn't be kindness, but
that that would be until you understand what the Bible
(05:17):
actually describes as kindness, and there's there Unfortunately there like
something like there sometimes is there's a difference between what
the Bible calls kindness and what the English Dictionary calls kindness.
And so I'm not trying to be what the English
Dictionary calls kindness. And as I kind of knew what
it meant, but I didn't know this isn't a Greek
word that I had studied as much as I've studied
(05:39):
other words, and so it's really interesting. As we decided
we were going to have this conversation today and I
looked up the Greek word for it, and the definition
is actually something that I've said before, really matters highly
to me. One of one of my personal I wants
and I am like, who I want to be and
what I want to have with my life is I
want to be useful. That like that, that's an inner
(06:01):
drive for me. It's one of the things that drove
me to be a Navy seal. You know what navy
seals are. They're useful. People are glad people that I'm
their friend. They're glad I'm their friends. They're like, man,
I got a friend. He can do stuff right, Like
there's utility there, right, Oh yeah, Garrett will know how
to fix that.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Garrett would know what to do about that.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I want to be that way, right, And and some
of that comes from my dad that people call him
the boy scout. My dad always had like the right
tools and the equipment and the knowledge, right. I've always
wanted to be useful. And I thought it was so
interesting today as we were reading what the definition of
this Greek word is, and the Greek word is christos,
which means properly, useful, fit for service, well fitted or useful, beneficial,
(06:50):
and benevolent. These are some of the words that that
kindness means. And that's very different than what I think
what the world would call kindness.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Man, it's so interesting, by the way, real quick shout
out to Pops, to your dad, because you just mentioned him.
He climbed the mountain with us, and I will just
say at the top you could take a train up.
There was no one else that was hiking up that
mountain that was in your dad's age bracket. Like your
dad gutted that thing out.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
No, we met the one guy. We met the one guy.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, but he didn't go to the top. Remember, he
was just hanging out and then he ran back.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yeah, that guy was in really good shape. And he
did say He's like, man, this isn't as easy as
he used to be.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
So I only go this far now.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Your dad was like, oh, that's good to know my
first time. I'm just gonna keep going.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Well done, Pops. So we had to give him the
public honor.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well done to Pops.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
But it's so he also on the car right home, buddy.
It was hilarious. He was like, Garret's trying to kill me.
He's like, I think he's trying to kill me.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I know. You can hear your dad say. That was
so funny.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Oh I call when I called him. When I called
him afterwards and was talking to him, I was like, oh, man,
he's out.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
It was. It was really funny.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Could tell he was the altitude of cook you man, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
It destroys you.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
But anyways, but so think about that because that word properly, useful, serviceable, productive.
This is I'm looking at the definition is that Cristos
is the word that's used in the Fruit of the Spirit.
It's also the same word that's using the Ephesians four
three two, which is be kind and compassionate to another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.
Now that sounds very like very pop culture definition of like, yeah,
(08:23):
let's be kind, let's be compassionate, because here's what here's
what Oxford kindness is. It's the quality of being friendly, generous,
and considerate. Isn't that nice? Like that's that's what the
world wants men to be. Is why can't you guys
be friendly, generous, and considerate. And sometimes if you're gonna
be useful to somebody, you're gonna have to tell them, dude,
you suck at this right now, like you're about to like,
(08:44):
kindness is, I'm gonna pull you back from the cliff,
even though you really want to go that way, because
it's waiting for you a few steps further, even though
you want it, even though it'd be fun to be like, yeah,
go ahead and sprint towards that you're having fun. Kindness
is I'm gonna stop you, because if you go over it,
it's way worse. And I don't think people think about
it that way.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Because I don't think they do.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I think people have a different understanding of kindness. And
let me just say where I think it comes from.
And this isn't this is not a blanket statement for everyone.
But this is just some of Garrett's weirdness coming out.
And don't I don't feel like I need people to
(09:21):
like me, right, I really, I honestly want It's kind
of weird. I don't need anyone to like me, but
I actually do want to be liked. I enjoy having friends.
I enjoy that people love and respect me, but I
don't need that. I like it matters more to me
to be useful than it does to be liked. And
(09:43):
out of that, right, I want to be a useful friend.
It's kind of and again, this is like some of
the nuance of me that you understand. It's where me
and humor clash, because that's where to me sometimes like
humor is about being liked more than it's about being useful. Right,
I'll sacrifice my character, I'll sacrifice the value of my
(10:03):
word for some laughs. You would rather be liked than
you would, you know, be useful. And I feel like
kindness and that's not all humor, but that's just my
clash with humor at times. And kindness can be some
of the same thing where it's like, oh, like let me,
let me say the things or do the things that
would make these people feel good that would have them
(10:24):
like me. And that's where like there is a that
is part of the definition of kindness. Right, let's make
some examples here. What would be a kindness is to
feed a homeless person. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that,
and the Bible says that you should do that. That is,
by by English definition definition and by Greek definition, a
(10:47):
kind thing to do that you would feed a homeless person. Okay,
And this is where like language is so powerful, and
this is where like words get diluted over time a
lot of the English language, which comes from the Bible,
but the definition of the word gets diluted over time. Okay,
So feeding a homeless person that is great. You know
(11:08):
Greek biblical definition of kindness and that is also an
English definition of kindness. But let's talk about where these
roads separate. To feed a homeless person very kind if
you keep feeding someone over and over again, or maybe
let's talk about like your children. Right, is it good
to feed your toddler?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Is it good to feed your eight year old?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Definitely? Right?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
What if you're feeding your eighteen year old and he's
never learned how to cook for himself or thinking that
he's going to have to work for himself, which turns
into your twenty two year old and your twenty seven
year old that isn't worried about feeding himself. He's not
worried about taking care of himself because you do all
of those things for him.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Now, what was.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Once a kind thing to do has become a cruel
thing to do. You are not useful to him. That
has no longer been evilence, right, benevolent. It's like what
a homeless person needs most is some food, right, or
at least I'm not necessarily a homeless person, but a
starving person. What a starving person needs is nourishment, is food,
(12:14):
But that may not be what a twenty five year
old boy needs the most. What a twenty five year
old boy might need the most is you know what,
you've had a lot of meals. It's actually probably better
that you starve a little bit. That would be the
kindness that he might need, that would push him to grow,
because what you want. But it's the same way that
God is with us. Sometimes the stuff that God does.
We've talked about this before. Sometimes our definition of good
(12:37):
is different than God's definition of good, and the kind
is the same thing. Right, God's version of kindness for
us is what would help us grow, what would help
us become useful and productive. And sometimes it's not a
very kind thing to do God. God allows us to
get sick. God allows us to go through troubles. God
allows us to fail, to get fired, to whatever, because
(13:00):
those are things that are going to help us grow.
And God is that is a kindness from God that
we might not consider a kindness. And so this is
where kind It's the whole takeaway I want anyone to
have from today is don't do things to be liked.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Right when.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
When when I would put a if I had to
put a tourniquet on my friend's leg after he's been shot,
that's a kindness. Right to fix someone's wound is a
kindness like that would be as similar of a kindness
as feeding a starving person. Right to heal a wound.
But when I put a tourniquet on my friend's leg
(13:40):
after he's been shot, he wants to choke me to
death because he's in so much pain. Sometimes fixing somebody's
wound is actually a terrible experience for them, right, Sometimes
you've got to remove the pain. Sometimes you've got to
remove the debris, wash out the wound. Now, it is
a kindness to clean someone's wound, that doesn't mean it's
(14:00):
going to make them feel good.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It would be a kindness for me to give a
nourishing meal to a homeless person, to a starving person,
It would not be a kindness for me to give
a bowl of sugar to a starving person.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It might make them feel good in the moment, but
it would actually leave them worse off. And so this
is the difference between kindness that is benevolent, that is good.
And this is what's interesting about in the concordance for
this word christos. It comes from It's a derivative of
another Greek word crayomi, which means to furnish what is
(14:38):
suitable or to be useful, and crastose is built upon
that word and the concordance I was reading says that
there is no adjective in the English language that conveys
the blend of being kind and good at the same time.
And so again, everything that I wanted to highlight in
this episode is that the typical, the cultural standard definition
(15:01):
of kindness is lost to the real definition of kindness.
The real definition of kindness is that you would be useful,
that you would be benevolent, that you would be good.
And sometimes that's a very warm experience for people and
it makes them feel better, but it is not always
the case. Sometimes the kindness you give to someone is
(15:22):
putting a tourniquet on your friend's leg who's been shot,
and it is a kindness that you saved his life.
That he's having the most brutal day of his life
and you're making it worse.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, I want people to really capture what you said
about how God will allow things to happen because his
definition of good is different to ours. While you were
saying that, I was thinking about the rich young ruler
because you think about Jesus like and you think about
some of the things that he said to people. I mean,
he told the Pharisees they were whitewashed tombs. Now we
might be like, yeah, he stuck it to the man,
(15:50):
that's like us coming at it from like beat our chest,
let's be macho. But I honestly believe that that was
Jesus being kind to them, because what was he doing them.
He was confronting them, showing them who they were and
giving them the chance. He was saying, you're clean on
the you're clean on the outside, but on the inside
you're filthy. You're like a dead tomb. The rich young
ruler says he looked at him and loved him, like
because because fruit of the spirit. Note that we read
(16:10):
this earlier. Fruit is that is not plural. The usage
of the word fruit in Glatians five twenty two is singular,
which means these are all together. It's not like you're like, oh,
I got love, but I'm still working on joy, peace, patience,
and kindness. These grow together, and they're in order for
a reason. So for Jesus to look at the rich
young ruler, Jesus, who was one hundred percent God, one
hundred percent man, he looked at him and he loved him.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And what do you tell him?
Speaker 3 (16:31):
This one thing you lack sell everything you own and
then follow me, and it broke the man, and the
man walked off, and did Jesus go chase him down
and be like, hey, man, come on, like I'm telling this,
he just let him go that and that to me
is a really that's not kind, right because because kind
would have been he would have gone over by the
definition of Oxford generous and consider him. Be like, hey,
(16:52):
you know what to why don't you give? Like just come,
we could use a guy like you. We could you know, like,
I know that money is really important to you and
it's actually in front of God, but we could actually
use some of your money to advance the kingdom, like,
and we want you around you you're a great guy.
That's that's being kind, right, Like, that's that's our definition
of kindness. And so I want people to grasp this
because sometimes then the kindest thing you can do is
(17:13):
to give somebody some truth that's going to help them
to grow. Because the difference between what we'd defining what
you read out in Greek kindness that just jumps out
at me as opposed to what I'll call Oxford worldly
kindness is one the Greek is full of purpose and
the Oxford is full of feelings. It's one hundred percent
about just make the person feel good, whereas what what
we're reading in the Greek kindness is all about purpose
(17:35):
and Jeeves, you would say that you've been very kind
to me, and you know, I don't know that a
lot of people would agree with that, but but the
growth and.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
We've actually had some people tell us the contrary.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Oh yeah, we recently had a podcast comment that and
I had to reassure the guy. The guy that was
a genuine, sincere comment, and we appreciate the concern, but
he was like, Hey, you don't need to unnecessarily humble
your co host. And what I assured this guy was
that all our banter is back and forth. I just
do mine off the air. And I will assure you
that I gave Garrett a lot of grief this weekend
(18:08):
while we were in Colorado, and it was a lot
of fun. I didn't care that it was his birthday.
I felt like he needed to hear some things. But
but but regardless, the kindness part of speaking purpose, man,
I can think of so many times when you said
things to me that like they stung, but like one
thing you've never had to say to me, G is like, hey,
come on, Nick, let's keep growing.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Like I want to grow.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I want to live a life of purpose, like full
of purpose, and so like I welcome these things that
you said now, I didn't always welcome them, but you
still offered them because why you saw purpose And let
me there's let me give you a few examples early
on if you like, what people always comment on is
they're like, man, you look so much different now, and
that's pretty obvious saying if you look back at old
pictures from our first episodes, or you look at videos,
(18:50):
and I remember you said to me, like you're like, dude,
you need you need to go. You need to get
hit weights, you need to start lifting more like you were.
You were telling me that like I didn't look as
good as I thought I did.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I did this like.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Project for orything when we first started, like we were
a year into the podcast. I was like, yeah, I
remember I showed you the picture and you're like, m
like you were so unimpressed of like how much I
had leaned up, and you're like, dude, you got to
get your shoulders looks small. You start to point out
all the things that you thought weren't very good. And
I remember I was like, man, forget Garrett, like, you
know whatever, that's just his opinion. Like literally, I was
(19:19):
just like, forget this guy. Yeah, I was like, forget
this guy. But you told me, and this is what
this I found true. You said, if you put on muscle,
your authority will grow. And I remember when you said
to me that kind of clicked in for me because
I was like, okay, because what do I care about.
I want to be effective for the Kingdom of God,
and I'm called to men and so like, if I
need to go be more, be stronger, and put on
(19:39):
muscle so other men can respect me. And it gives
me more authority to speak kingdom stuff in their life
than by all means, I'll do it. And I mean
since we've done in the past what three and a
half years, I've put on twenty eight pounds of muscle.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
It's been a lot of work, a lot of consistency.
But it's worth it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
And it's like and it's and I'll tell you it
did not feel good when Garrett said that to me.
Absolutely did not feel good to me. And I will
say that I'm saying the things I'm saying publicly, are
the nice version because you ripped me about it privately,
But it was always with the purpose another time whenever
I'm just thinking about ways you've been kind to me,
where people wouldn't think I had an issue with somebody,
(20:14):
and I was just like, man, I was just complaining
about it because I was like, I get this guy,
Like I just felt like it was a misunderstanding and
I didn't do anything wrong. And it was actually when
we finished a podcast, you sat down and you looked
at me, and I will say that there was no
there was nothing indirect about the way you addressed the situation,
and you very directly told me. You said, you need
to understand what's happening right now. You need to go
(20:36):
fix this, and you need to be the leader, because
you don't want to be the kind of person that
can't lead, that can only lead certain people.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So if you've got a conflict with this.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Man, whether you've done nothing wrong or everything wrong, you
need to be the one that initiates it and go
fix it. You need to go seek to understand. And
it's very firm words. You told me that I'd better
go fix it, and I remember it.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It felt like.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
It felt like when someone steals your lunch when you're
a kid, Like if someone ever stole your lunch and
you're just like like, that's how I felt. I was like, man,
I don't want it. This is the last thing I
want to do. And you were very direct about it,
and you know, and I went out and did it.
And when I was done, I understood what you meant,
but at the time I had no idea what you meant.
I was just like, Garrett's just like, he's being so
(21:16):
adamant about this and it's not that big a deal.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
That was what was going through my head.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
But that is kindness.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
But I want to give an important clarification, Okay, because
people could take this the wrong way. I said those
things to you because I knew you could take it,
and I was pretty sure that you would change that
it would make you better. Right, I did say. I
didn't say that to be justified or right. And there
are times I'm not saying likeness. I'm not saying with you.
(21:44):
But there are times where I might have something that
I could say to somebody like, man, this would make
you better, but I don't say it because I don't
think they're ready to hear it, because it would not
be and it would not be kindness. And so like
that again I could have I could apply this to
like trying to help someone's wounds. If you don't know
what you're doing, you might just make it worse, right,
(22:06):
if you want to, like a good doctor is useful
and it is literally the Hippocratic oath, do no harm right, right,
and and so like you have to seek, like I
want to help you. I'm not saying this to like
just to stab you, right, just to cause you pain.
It was painful for you, but I was pretty sure
(22:27):
you could take it. And that's an important part of
the kindness there.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
No, I agree, And it was also from a place
of love and care. And I will say, like, this
is one of the things I think is lacking for men.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, we've talked, yes, but just because I love and
care doesn't make it kindness, right, right. I had to
also understand that you could take it, and you may
be wrong sometimes in that That's why they call it
medical practice. Doctors don't always get.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
It right, right.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, it has to come from a place in love
and kindness. But don't think you can just say what
to whoever but you know, and that you're justifying it
well because I love them, because I care. Yeah, and
that that is not licensed for you to say whatever
you want.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Gee.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I think if you're still questioning that, because what we
don't want is like I listen to The Impossible Life
and they said I need to be kind to everybody
by just saying whatever I think is true. That is
not what we're saying. You'll notice the filter that Garrett used,
and he didn't say it this way. The filter was
that he was focused on the person that was receiving,
not on what he thought. What he thought in the moment,
because if you're focused on yourself, like well, this needs
to be said, no it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
It needs to be.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Said in the right time, when the person's ready to
receive it. I've had an experience like this, you know.
I was saying, brotherhood is sorely lacking in America because
I don't think there's a lot of men that have
an understanding of principles and standards that are like living purposely.
And we obviously we're privileged enough that we get to
be a mighty man. And so I was sat in
a circle as a mighty man in the past year
or so, and I was sat with a man who's
(23:55):
been going through some genuinely hard times. He'd been going
through some genuine tough times. I think anybody would have
listened to and would have been like, man.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I'm sorry you're going through it, and that that was
definitely you know, we were like, man, this is this
is tough. But I was listening to this man talk
about these problems and he was in tears, and I
just felt this like welling up inside me of the
Holy Spirit, and I just said to him, I said, hey,
look right now, because it was things to do with
this family. I said, what's your family needs They need
to They need to see a man that they can follow.
They don't need a guy who's going to be upset
(24:23):
and and and being, you know, in tears because of
what's happening. I was like, but they're not going to
follow you right now if you don't give them something
to respect. And and he was talking about like how
he said some of the right things and they wouldn't follow.
And I looked at him, I said, you know what,
you need to meet people where they're at and give
them something they can see. And this man happened to
be overweight, and so I said this to this man.
I said, hey, if you started getting yourself in shape,
(24:45):
I promise you people would start treating you differently.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Something.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Hey, where did I hear that from?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Somebody said it to me one right, And I'm just
saying this because it's like I will tell you I've
sat I sat with this man multiple times.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
But in this time it was a holy spirit thing.
I felt it was the right thing. Say.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Now I said it to this man. He received it,
and he's gone on to lose over one hundred pounds.
He's like a different person.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
His chest is out, he comes in, his head's a
little bit higher. And guess what, you look at me
and go, okay, I can respect this guy.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Now not every person has, Like what the takeaway I
want you to have is not that because I had this,
you know, really firm word. It's because it was the
Holy Spirit. Like if the fruit of the spirit, keep
in mind, that's the key thing that that's in here.
We can just focus on the fruit. But the fruit
of the spirit, not the fruit of I read the
book a lot or I developed myself. The fruit of
the spirit aka you're led by the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithless, gentleness,
(25:38):
and self control. And what I know is that when
you're pressing into the presence of God and you're practicing
the presence of God, you start to begin to develop
and recognize the voice of God. And so when you
get into moments like that, sometimes God will impress a
word on your heart and you can speak that in
that in what we would call is Greek kindness, and
you can see radical transformation. But don't mistake what we're saying.
(25:58):
This is not licensed to go shoot your mouth off
and tell everybody. Well, let me tell you what you
really do. You look fat in those genes. Like if
you get punched for that, you probably deserve.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It, because this needs to be done.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
From a place of love, knowing the person can receive
it and spirit led is that phaigie.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I hope that you guys are going away understanding this,
Like faithful are the wounds of a friend. Be that
kind of friend that stands in the gap for a person.
Be the kind of person that wants to be useful,
that's gonna love people and give them the word that
they need in time and be Let your kindness be useful,
Let it be well resourced, let it be beneficial, and
let it be benevolent for every single person that comes
(26:36):
in contact with you. We don't need passive men that
are going to make people feel good. We need kind
men who are going to do what it takes. Speak
from love, be led by the spirit, and change lives.
Thank you very much for listening. Guys, remember to share,
like subscribe. If you think that this would be something
that someone would enjoy it, please send it to them.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
We appreciate it all.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
If you want to get in touch, you can follow
us on Instagram at the Impossible Life. You'll find us
on there. You can also email at Impossible Life Podcasts
at gmail dot.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Com if you have any questions.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
If you want to get in touch and find out
about Carrott's personal or business coaching, that's the way to
do it. Thank you again for listening. Go out there
and think better and live the impossible. You see you
again soon.
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