258. The Gatekeeper Of Your Life: Why Guarding Your Heart Is The Most Important Battle

In this episode of The Impossible Life Podcast, Garrett Unclebach and Nick Surface dig into one of the most crucial areas for any believer: “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)

They explore what it really means to protect your inner world in a culture obsessed with image, emotion, and distraction. From leadership to marriage to faith, everything rises and falls on the condition of your heart — and most men lose the battle because they don’t even realize they’re in one.

Garrett shares insights from his time as a Navy SEAL about how security detail for protecting a high value person relates to us guarding our heart. Nick breaks down how to recognize emotional compromise before it becomes spiritual collapse. Together, they unpack practical ways to build boundaries, protect your peace, and keep your heart aligned with God’s truth.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

• Why the heart is the center of your spiritual and emotional life
• How to identify the subtle ways the enemy infiltrates your heart
• The danger of letting unchecked emotions drive your decisions
• What it means to be both tender to God and tough against sin
• Practical ways to guard your heart daily — through discernment, discipline, and devotion
• How guarding your heart strengthens every other area of leadership and purpose

Apply for the Mindset Mastery Scholarship by January 6th

Join a group of likeminded Impossible Life listeners in our FREE Skool community by clicking here.

Get the Purpose Playbook by clicking here

Get the FREE Basic Discipline Training 30 Day Program by clicking here

Join us in Mindset Mastery by clicking here

If you're a man that wants real accountability and training to be a leader, click here.

Level up your nutrition with IDLife by clicking here

GET IN TOUCH

Social Media - @theimpossiblelife

Email - [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is the most beautiful thing about God. It is
the scariest thing about God. And it's that you can't
fool him. He knows what's in your heart, and so
the heart is really the why behind what you do.
It's like the dress again. It's where everything in your
life flows from this. It's the driving force from which
your thoughts, from which your actions, from which your attitude

(00:21):
comes from. It all comes from your heart.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
That's impossible. Let me tell you what I believe. What's
your weakness is not your technique. Don't think you know
you the Impossible Life Podcast. I mean you're sitting on
a winning lot of tech, an idea that is fully formed,
fully understood.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
That sticks. This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick
and I are attempting to live impossible lives. What we
know is that nothing is impossible. So instead of using
impossible as an excuse to try, we'll use the pursuit
of impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never

(01:06):
been done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they
tell you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk. The real truth is this The
solution to any impossible task starts with this question, if

(01:27):
I had to what would it take?

Speaker 2 (01:29):
What would it take? Welcome to another episode of the
Impossible Life podcast. I'm your cost Nick Surface, and I'm
looking across as a man who recently started a task
force charged with the mandate to remind people that other
people can see them. That's right, friends, Garrett, unclewock, a
man who knows you shouldn't fly in pajamas, even if

(01:51):
you don't care about your appearance.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I see, we're returning to the well of the great
Ron Swanson.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
You know you actually he wasn't meant to, but it's
like that is actually wrong. So people can see you, son,
like I did actually even mean to do that? Son?
You're in public. Yeah, well this was one that This
is probably the most selfish intro I've ever done, because
I had a bone to pick. I was flying on
some planes recently and I was looking around the way
my fellow Americans dressed when they go to the airport,

(02:19):
and I wanted to be like fault across the line
market zero. It was awful. I saw a man older
than both of us in pajama pants, some slippers that
were shaped like bear claws, and he had a blanket
wrapped around him like he was, you know, I don't
even know what was going on, and had his backpack underneath.
He looked like Quasimodo.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
It was bankrupt of dignity. Yeah, and it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
And just for you guys think, oh, that's really harsh,
and I'm telling you all the accessories he had, it
wasn't because he lacked the financial means to dress better.
I was just looking. I was like, I don't know
if it was because I was tired that I had
less filter, but I was. I took a picture and
see and I sent that to Gerel. I was like,
this is this is unacceptable. I mean, so if you're
out there, who I mean, why would you fly in pajamas?

(03:03):
People have to sit next to you, people have to
see you. You're not at home, like just where literally
anything is an upgrade almost.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay, so.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
You you know you've changed.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
I have changed.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
And I would say, an older version of Nick you
still make jokes a lot, but I would say an
older version of Nick thought that like everything was a joke,
and the best thing you could do was, you know,
say something funny. Yep, what if that guy is kind
of just stuck in this world of well, you know,
I just thought this would be comfortable. I just thought
this would be cool. I'm not trying to impress anybody.

(03:40):
I don't care if people.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Respect me, right, And that's exactly That's exactly what's going
through his head. And what I'm The reason why it
bothered me so much is because now I'm like, you're
a man like you who knows if someone's gonna need you,
and you're in slippers first of all, Like, second of all,
what if you just happened to meet somebody. I don't
know what that guy does for a living, but what
if if he happens to sit by somebody on the plane.

(04:02):
There's I don't care how good he is at what
he does. No one's going to take him seriously. Jokes
on us.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
He's probably some like famous twitch streamer.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Or like a rapper something. He's pajama rich. Anyways, that
was just something that I wanted to indulge a little bit.
So Hey, it's a lesson I've learned through criticism of
the guy sitting across from me. But it's actually a
really valuable one.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Swatpants and public.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
You always need to be prepared to meet somebody that
might that they're going to judge you on your appearance,
and you don't want to give them a reason to
write you off before you've even started. It's just it's
just the truth.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
It's rare. You'll find me in a T shirt. Our
boy formerly known as Counsel. Yeah, I brought him over
to work for me at Union and I said, you'll
see other people wear T shirts here, but you won't.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
He's just like, yes, sir, Okay, I got you. All right, Gee,
let's dive into it because I just want to thank
you for indulging me. Everybody, but hopefully that's a level
up for you. Please think about how you look when
you go out, because even if you don't care, other
people will Anyways. So today we're going to talk about
guarding your heart. And this is man. I think I
feel excited about all the episodes. This is one that
you and I have been brewing for a while, like

(05:06):
we the way it works. Just to give you a little
insight into our process, Garrett will either send me a
text or I'll send him a text, or I'll be
reading something in scripture and I'll feel like the Holy
Spirit puts something on my heart and I'm like okay,
And I just have a list on my phone called
ilp ideas and I just add to It's a very
long list, and as we do, I just check them off.
And this one's been sat there for a while and
we've kind of been like, no, it's not right, it's
not right. But today's the day. Gee, Today, today is

(05:28):
the day because I think that this is there's a
scripture that goes along with this, and we're going to
get into this, but we're going to get real practical.
And this is one especially for men. We've talked recently
about the authority that you've been given from God. And
when you know that you have authority, he's given you
authority over your own choices, right, and then also giving
you a family to look after. You need to understand
that guarding your heart is like the template for also

(05:50):
guarding the others that you're entrusted with. And so we're
going to get into it, and this one I think
will be an eye opener for everybody. I really enjoyed
the prep process, so let me give you a little
story here.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Ge.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
In nineteen nineteen, over one hundred years ago, there was
a political party started in Germany called the Nazi Party. Okay, yeah,
heard of it, Yeah, definitely heard of this. Okay. Now
the reason I'm telling the story, So this is the
setting for so the First World War has just come
to an end. The Treaty of Versailles absolutely destroyed Germany, right,

(06:20):
like it economically and that and humiliate them as well,
if you know anything about that, Like they were not
made to look good both the first two World wars.
Germany were very central to those. They got stuck with
a big bill. That's exactly right. They had the war
reparations and they lost. And so then what happens They
have a ton of inflation. And what happens you have
an inflation, people start losing their jobs.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's like you make a bet with your friends and
it's like, loser has to do the other's laundry for
a year.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, that would actually be very less. More like loser
has to pay for the other person to live for
like the next ten That's like, what that's the bet?
They lost it. It was really bad. So now what
happens in the country. There's people are going like, this
is too big of a bill for us to pay.
Our money's worth nothing. I don't have a job. So
people are have anger, They're angry about the situation. And
then here's even worse. They're just they're they have despair.

(07:06):
And what despair means is that you lack any belief
once you stop thinking it can change. Well, why wouldn't
you just do whatever you want? Because now all chaos
is like on the table. So this is the environment
that's in. You've got despair and you've got anger. And
then what happens You have this Nazi party that comes
back and says, hey, we're going to restore national pride,
we'll rebuild the economy, and we're going to punish the
people who have come against us. That's the bad part, right, well,

(07:30):
the I mean, yeah exactly, but but they they seized
on the opportunity of the time. And then Hitler's build
is the savior of the German people. So what they
what they needed was saving and what they got was
one of the worst atrocities in modern history. Now why
am I telling the story Because despair and anger were
very understandable emotions and they were not on guard for
these things. They're like, I have I should be mad.

(07:50):
Look what's happened to us. This is unfair. And you know,
you could make a case that they got stuck with
you know, a bigger build than they should have, or
whatever you want to say, or you could say they
deserved it, either side, whatever you say. The point is
these people were not on guard for what was happening.
So they went from man, when you get our country
back to actually, we should target very specific people. And
they killed over six million Jews. And what's the most

(08:11):
well known modern atrocity of our times. And the point
I'm making is like, look how it starts and then
look how it finishes. And this is like a hallmark
of sin and a hallmark of not being on guard.
So let me ask you this, where we're at in
America today? Where do we see people upset and angry
right now?

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Hm?

Speaker 2 (08:27):
We got a government shut down, We've got a very
divisive president as far as how strongly people feel for
against him, and we've got some seeds of divisiveness that
are in our country, to the point that whenever there
was a political assassination attempt on Trump, there were some
people that are like, oh, he faked it, or like,
oh I wish they would have got I mean, there
was horrible things even with Charlie Kirk, the stuff that
you saw that came out from people on the opposite

(08:48):
side that didn't like him. I mean, how no one
would say, hey, I want to would wake up and say,
you know what, I want to be known for being
glad that someone else was killed. And yet with a
little bit of lack of regard for things, you end
up in that place and you.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Let the things seem right in a moment, right the
as it is said, the road to hell is paved
with good intention. You think you want to fix something,
you think, well, you know, these people deserve this. It's
my anger is justified. I have the right to say
this or the right to do that, and in a

(09:22):
moment it doesn't seem so terrible. But you let those thoughts,
you let those feelings, you let those continual actions linger
in your life. And it's not so much that you
change your situation, but you change. Yeah, And that's exactly it.
And as you change, your lens does so that's what
we're going to get into today. So the scripture that
sort of launched us off is Proverbs four twenty three,

(09:42):
which says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything
you do flows from it. So we've given you quite
the prequel. You can see where we're headed.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
But gee, I guess in typical possible life fashion, we
got to define a few things. We've talked about the
heart a lot, but what is it for those that
may be new here.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah, this is a scripture I talk about a lot.
Proverbs for twenty three. Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. That is a
powerful scripture. Everything in your life flows out of this thing.
It was really interesting. You might think, like, well, where
you were born, or who your dad was, or all

(10:17):
these other things that would be the origin of your life.
But it says your heart is where everything in your
life flows from. So before we even add any more
weight to that that, I would just say, maybe we
should understand it. Maybe we should look into what is
this epicenter for every issue in my life. So the heart,
the heart is your desire center, is your mind, your will,

(10:41):
and your emotions. It's mentioned over and over and over
again in scripture. But that's what the heart is. It's
your desire center. What you want with your life, the
dreams that you have, where you want to go, what
you want to accomplish, Wanting to be married, not wanting
to be married, wanting to have kids, not wanting to
have kids, wanting to be successful, wanting to live a life,
whatever it is that you want, these are all things

(11:02):
that come out of your heart. And one of the
things that really I would say helps understand the way
the heart works is the Bible says that the Lord
weighs the heart. Yea, the Lord doesn't look at the outside.
The Lord weighs the heart. And so that not only
does everything in your life flow from your heart, but
it's also what God judges you on. And as it

(11:24):
relates to the heart, one of the things I say
to people all the time, it is the most beautiful
thing about God. It is the scariest thing about God,
and it's that you can't fool him. He knows what's
in your heart. You can do something, you can lie
to people at work, you can deceive your spouse, you
can deceive people you're doing business with and they think

(11:47):
you're some good person and you've deceived them. You cannot
fool God. He knows what's really in your heart. And
so the heart is really the why behind what you do.
It's like the truth again, it's where everything in your
life flows from this. It's the driving force from which
your thoughts, from which your actions, from which your attitude
comes from. It all comes from your heart. Think about

(12:09):
this is a good analogy or a good example I
like to use for the heart. Something that's considered really
overtly good is like generosity and philanthropy. Imagine you give
tens of millions of dollars to charity. Most people be like,
that's such a good thing, What a good person. However,
you could do that from a heart of like I

(12:29):
just want to love people, and I've been blessed, I
want to bless other people. You could also take that
same action actions identical. Take that same action, though, and
what's really in your heart is pride and vanity, right,
and God despises that heart and also that heart will
lead you into all the wrong things. And so the

(12:49):
heart matters greatly because it impacts every single thing in
your life. And in again, it is the epicenter from
which every issue in your life, everything that you get into,
it's going to come out of that. This will will
come to We'll come back to this later and really
like the different parts that the heart plays, but the
heart comes back to a trust thing of really saying like, well,

(13:12):
I'm just going to love God and he knows my heart.
If you'll stand in that level of faithfulness, you're you're
That's when you have a clean heart. That's when you
have a heart that's not getting pulled in all the
wrong directions. But when you start thinking like, well, I
gotta I gotta fix things. I gotta I gotta make
this situation different. I need to be the justice in
this moment, you're letting the wrong thoughts into your heart

(13:34):
and you're controlling instead of letting God control what you
what what needs to be at the center of your
heart is I just want to please the Father.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah. I think what's so interesting about about that is
if you said to most people, like, what's the control
center of the human body of a human they would
say the mind, Like, oh, the brain, But it's not.
It's the heart. And so like I remember, we had
doctor Robbie on We talked about the difference between the
mind and the brain. Because there's the brain which you
can measure like neural activity, and all that sort of stuff.
But the mind is the thing that they can't quite say, like, oh, well,

(14:04):
here's the you can't touch it. And to me, that's
where heart actually starts to come from, and like we
can all relate to that. Yeah, yeah, exactly, the physical
heart does. But when we're talking about this, this is
spiritual heart, like you said, I mean, it's the command center.
This is literally the control center where like your thoughts,
your emotions, your will, you're conscious, your perception comes in
the heart.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Is it's a place where you wrestle with God. Because
there's in Genesis it talks about when Moses is speaking
to Pharaoh. This is really interesting. When Moses is speaking
to Pharaoh, Moses goes and speaks and it says that
Pharaoh hardened his heart, right, And I don't remember the count,
but it's three or four times that it says Moses

(14:42):
spoke and Pharaoh hardened his heart. But then the last
time that Moses speaks to Pharaoh, it says God hardened
his heart. Yeah, same heart, different people hardening it, right.
And so it's really interesting that like the place like
God has an impact on your life in many ways.
And I'm not saying that people don't get like their

(15:04):
bodies don't get healed, that there's not miracles. I believe
in that. But God doesn't interact with your flesh very often.
But where God is constantly interacting with you is in
your heart. Right, It really is where you wrestle with
Him and that flows into your thoughts. Right, your thoughts
have a I've done this analogy before. I've done it
and we've talked about it in Mindset Mastery, and the

(15:26):
heart is such an interesting part of what we're focused
on in Mindset Mastery this month, which is Focus. Right,
one of the illustrations we cover in Focus is the light,
the lens, and the objective. And the lens is what
has the power to turn light into a laser beam. Right,
you have light, you have an objective, the lens is
what directs all of that light. And your heart is

(15:48):
the lens of your life. It determines where your energy,
where your thoughts are going to go. And one of
the other illustrations we've done in Mindset Mastery before is spirit, soul,
and body. And so imagine three concentric circles where there's
like a spirit circle on the inside and then outside
of that is the soul, and outside of that is
the body. And so now that you have these three circles,

(16:09):
imagine drawing a heart that sits like right over the soul,
but it touches the spirit and it touches the flesh.
This is you commune with God through your heart. Your
heart really is primarily your soul, your mind, your willing emotions,
but then also your thoughts impact your flesh. And so
you can either live from the outside end, right, and

(16:29):
that's where you develop a hardened heart and you close
off spiritually to God, or you live connected to God.
You live from the inside out and out of the spirit.
Your heart has changed, right, just like God says like
I'll give you a new heart out of the spirit.
Your heart has changed, your mind, your willing emotions are changed,
and that even impacts your flesh.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, so that's I mean, that's so good. In case
you missed it, I mean, Garrett's basically showing you all
the different ways it impacts you. I mean, it's literally everything.
It's how you see things, it's what it's your affections,
it's what you like, it's your conduct, it's I mean,
i'd give you a practical example because I was thinking
about this. We we often go to extremes right when you
see things because it's easy to understand things. Yeah, and

(17:08):
I remember whenever I was I was in youth group.
I was a young man. I was like seventeen, eighteen
years old. Youth group is usually very extreme. It's a
good youth group, it is yeah, well yeah, well this
this was more of an example.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
My youth group was extreme.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was, yeah, but there was reasons for that. You
were extreme, like hey, let's jump off of a like
twenty foot platform into like a small tank of water. Extreme.
I was extreme, Like, man, I can't believe now that
I'm adult that like the other adults were behaving that way.
And then this is the story. So there was this
woman and very sweet lady. Man, just very sweet lady.
Unfortunately she's been divorced and she really wanted to get

(17:39):
married again. And it got like it was like I
was eighteen, I don't really know anything about life. So
like I was like, oh, I want her to get
a husband. You'll see you pray for her, and you like,
you know, you talked to her about it, and I
remember it got to such a point it was like
the main driving force in her life to where she'd
even made up an avatar and had a name for
this fictional person that she was going to marry one day,
and like all these different attributes towards them that she

(18:01):
would talk about regularly. I mean, it was the center
of every prayer and like pretty much every week there
would be tears flowing on Sunday or at some point
there'd be a breakdown. And it was like to me,
I look at that now, and I'm like, how did
anybody else not go up and say, hey, you need
to let this go, Like you're making an idol of this,
and this is not good for you, it's not good
for the people around you.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Wanting a husband is a good thing, right, But out
of her focus on that was changing her heart. Yeah,
and we'll come we'll come to some of the pieces
that impact your heart in a minute that she was
messing up on. Yeah, I was taking our heart in
the wrong direction. So you could think like, well, what's
wrong with wanting a husband, right, Well, the way you're
wanting a husband is wrong, right. The same way it's

(18:42):
like what's wrong with giving a charity? Well, the way
you're giving a charity.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
But I mean just to put the finishing touched on this.
I mean it was down to the point where if
it was like, hey, they offered me a promotion at work,
but like if this fictional husband comes along, I don't
know if that promotion would be good for what we're
going to do. It was that bad. And I look
at that now and I'm like, this is like really unhealthy.
But that's what it looks like at the extreme, if
you've let your heart get out of hand and you

(19:06):
haven't been on guard, is that it will literally shape
every decision that you're making, and everything you'll see will
come through that lens. And the I'm not casting judgment
because she's a wonderful woman. She did get married, thankfully
and found a wonderful man, so praise God. But like
I look back at that now and I go, man, like,
to me, that's a warning for like what can happen
if you don't check it at an early stage. Because
it wasn't like that just happened. It gradually got worse

(19:28):
and worse and worse and worse, and so that's a
warning sign for all of us. And look for everybody listening,
you might be going, oh, that's ridiculous, Well, here's why
I would challenge you. What is the thing that you're like, Man,
if I just had this, it would change my life
when I was broke, you know, it would have changed
my life. Gee, if I could just get that job
that paid me a certain amount of money, right, and like,
we all have that thing. So I'm not saying like,
let's all point our fingers there, because we all have
three pointing back at ourselves. It's just a reminder of like,

(19:49):
that's what an unchecked heart looks like. So, gee, you've
we're talking about guarding and fortunately you've had to do
a little bit of physical combat in your life.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Courty.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Yeah, security, you've definitely you've definitely been trained in a
little bit of security details. So what's this look like
from like, tell me, teach.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Me something that's interesting. I've been securing something completely focused
on security for our factory, and I've been doing some
things and securing the factory that like maybe some of
the traditional engineers or the architects, you know, the builders,
they're like, what are you? Why are you doing that
seems excessive?

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Hey, you just get Doberman's and something barber.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Some of what you're doing seems successive and uh, there's
been times where I'd like explain them, to explain it
to them. It's like, because I would, you know, if
I was assaulting this building, this is how I would
take it offline. And they're like, oh, I didn't didn't
think about that, right, Yeah, you're thinking you you know,
for most people's mind and security, they what are the

(20:51):
dude's names and home alone?

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Oh yeah, it's oh man, it's Marvin Harry.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah. Security is like just keeping Marvin Harry out of
the building.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
That's car bars.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Fine. I'm focused on maybe a different level of attack.
And so when I think about how I would attack
the building if I wanted to, because what we're building
has some very important equipment for national security, and so
I'm thinking, Okay, how would I take this building down.
It's not like I went I made it through all
seven layers of access to the special equipment and punched

(21:22):
in the codes. That's the hardest way to take the
building down. What's the easiest way to take the building down? Right?
And so I think about some of those things. And
in the military, one of our you know, one of
the tasks that we would get sometimes is what's called
PSD personal security detail. And when you get personal security detail,
what that's its VIP protection, right, Like I'm in an area.

(21:45):
My platoon got assigned to do PSD for President Obama
when he was in Hawaii on vacation. Now, I tore
my pat teller tenon and then I went home. They
went to Hawaii.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Man, you're such a patriot. You're like, I don't I
don't agree with this guy to tear my.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Took one for the team.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, way to go, well done. Anyways, I can make
a joke, but I can tell you're tired because you're
actually entertaining jokes. Like Garrett never entertained jokes, but I
know I know he's tired whenever he actually entertains them.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
I thought it. But anyways, so personal PSD is personal
security detail when you've got a very important person and
you want to make sure that they don't get hurt
or shot or killed and so to do that, Like
we are trained assaulters, so we're like when they say,
like kill this person or like I got thirty seven
ideas right right, Like I know how to do that. Yeah.

(22:34):
So when we would do PSD, basically what you would
do is you would do not like anywhere that you're
taking a person through, where they're going to be living,
where they're going to be going to an event to speak,
or whatever it is. You think, if I was going
to assault them in this moment, how would I do it? Geez?
And so that's assault. But then our role is in
that sense, is to be the counter assault. So I

(22:54):
have to think, now, if someone was gonna fire a
long range shot, how do we shut that down?

Speaker 2 (23:00):
How do we defend against that?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
If they were going to you know, block the road
and do a car bomb, how would we defend against that?
If they were gonna you know, fire an RPG, where
would be the best place to do that from? So
we think about all of these things. Yeah, so we
design the assault, and then you plan your counter assault.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Huh right.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
And there's for those of you who are from a
special operations community. I know there's a few of you
that listen. I'm going like way past a lot of
the details here. I'm very much generalizing counter assault is
partially what happens after something bad happens. But I'm just
generalizing here. You have to figure out how is it
going to be bad and then determine how do I

(23:36):
stop that.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
From happening, right, So take that for your life now,
because we're going to dive into what the most common
attacks are and put some real handles on this. Because
here's what I know. I'm gonna say. You said that
we have some special operators out there, and man always
very I think I have a lot of respect and
appreciation because of our friendship for anybody in the Special

(23:57):
Force of community. However, I also know.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
That do the non Navy on an Avy Seal podcast.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
I am, and I've actually made a Navy Seal There's
a Navy Seal video out there that I appear in,
and I'm like, I found the way to skip the grinder,
which for the record, is a complete joke. I don't
take any any of that seriously, but it is kind
of funny that I'm on a Navy Seal podcast anyways.
But like, so for those of us who are not,
you know, like are not like, yeah, I know seventeen
ways to an assault on a target, Like, think about

(24:22):
this for your life. This is this is what I want.
I want people to take away. What are your known weaknesses?
Like you should be aware men, you should know what
the thing is that you're most tempted by and you
should have extra counter assault measures in place. If it's lust.
Guess what, maybe you shouldn't be on Instagram, you know
what I mean? Maybe you do need to have like
the blockers that you can have out there. But here's

(24:44):
even more. When you're out, you need to be really
aware what your eye is drawn to and kill it there.
Don't be the guy at the gym that's like, oh
it doesn't mind, it's okay to see that girl that's
that's working leg day. No, No, you need to turn
the exact opposite way and look look nowhere.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
When you say like, oh, it's it's not a big deal, right,
actually is a really big deal. Right. You are allowing
the seeds that are going to destroy you into your life.
It's like if you knew, like if you knew, you
know you were going to die, Like somehow you found out,
like I'm going to die in Las Vegas. You know
you should do never never, never go to Las Vegas.

(25:17):
Go anywhere else but there, Yeah, like that's where I die. Well,
I'm never going there. Yeah, I moved to Kazakhstan. It's
like the opposite. Think about for yourself. I think we
can all do this that no one is No one
is so innocent that they couldn't do this that you
might think, like, if I wanted to destroy me, how
would I do it? You know, you know what your

(25:38):
vulnerabilities are, and so you need to do that honest
assessment of like if I was going to assault me,
how would I assault me? And then plan your counter assault?

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Right, And that's that would be a smart thing to do.
But also what are your unknown weaknesses because those can
kill you as well. That's where you need a brother
in your life, because the people that know you best
are going to be are going to be the ones
that say, hey, bro, you're kind of going down this
and you know, like we'll meet men sometimes and they're like, oh, yeah,
I'm coaching this woman. Nope, nope, nope, stop that right now. No no, bro,
you don't understand. No, no, you don't understand. That's an

(26:08):
absolute no go. I had this with the brother recently
that I care very deeply about that had had something happen.
He was like, oh yeah, I met her the next
day for coffee. I'm like, you did what what that was?
And he was really shocked, but like you know what,
he was very humble and very responsive to it, which
I applaud him because that's what actual brotherhood looks like,
is that when people that you know have your back
come up and say, hey, you're missing it here, you

(26:29):
can listen. Well, let me just finish this off to
you and then we'll dive into the common attacks. But
like for those of us that aren't assaulters, and look,
I don't know that many of us haven't done various
attempts that were, like, you know what, I'm gonna spend
my time doing trying to get other people to sin.
So where do we learn the pattern? Well, the good
thing is the Bible shows us that the pattern that
Satan uses and what is Satan? Love? More than anything?
He loves a shortcut, right. I will tell you that

(26:52):
so many of your shortcuts will be that will be
the temptation that opens you up to something that you
end up going down the road that you had no
idea when Jesus was being tempted. What was one of
the temptations that Jesus was offered, Hey, if you worship me,
I'll give you the kingdoms of the world. The kings
of the world were Jesus. Anyways, he went to the
cross to redeem the world and step into the kingdom.

(27:12):
So it's always the crown before the cross, right, it's
the reward without the price. That's the hallmark of these
little assaults. Whenever you're kind of like, oh, I've just
got this little way I can do it, think about
Josh Broome's story. If you haven't listened to Josh broome story,
he was on the podcast. He was in the porn
industry for seven years, made over a million dollars, one awards,
and then is now a pastor, completely saved. I love Josh.
His story is powerful. He is a true example of

(27:34):
the walking grace of God. Everything he talked about that
led him. He was an actor in Hollywood, and he
was a model who was actually doing pretty well, and
then he got an option one day to be like
these pretty girls in a bar came up and said, hey,
would you want to be in a porn with us?
And he thought, well, you know what, I watched it anyways,
I might as well be in it. And from that
he got sucked into the point that seven years down
the road he was ready to kill himself. And it's

(27:55):
always he when he talked through that that was the
thing that stood out from the most. It was always
something that seem like a good thing. It was something
you already wanted, like, hey, that's not a big deal, right,
Well you you want to be a model, Like you're
good looking. This is just another way to be good looking.
We'll pay really well, we'll get paid for it.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, and you get He said to himself, I mean
I already watch it, right, what's the difference to being
in it?

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Exactly? And then to just finish that story, his agents
saw it and he got fired from everything. So then
he felt like he had no choice, and he talked
about how over and over again people get coerced. To me,
that is the clearest picture that we see. Ill, I'll
look up what number that is here in a second,
so I can tell people so they can go look
at But like, understand that you should know your weaknesses.
You should have brothers for your unknown weaknesses. And here's

(28:35):
the next step. We said that you've been given dominion
over your in your relationship with your wife and also
of your family. What's what's your wife's known weaknesses? What
about your kids?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
I'll speak as weakness.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Well, that's a good thing, because you're never going to
take her down a road that she shouldn't go down.
But like, for you know, I'm being serious, man, you
should know what you're what the people you are charged
to protect are vulnerable to. You know, this is for me.
A lot of people will give their teenagers cell phones,
like give them smartphones at a young age and give
give the world access to as a teenager. I'll be honest,
I think that that's a real misfire for a parent

(29:06):
if you're just like, hey, have this smartphone unlocked, go
for it, go nuts. It's amazing to me how common that.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
It's like giving a loaded firearm to a seven year old.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
Yeah, you'd never do it.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
There are some seven I chose that age intentionally. There's
a handful of seven year olds out there that have
been actually trained responsibly in firearms. But that's not most
seven year olds. No, and gave you give them a
firearm and they're going to treat it like a nerf gun, right.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, And that's exactly because they don't know how dangerous
it could be. And that's what I'm saying. This is
your job, man, to realize what the dangers are.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
And when we get on our phones, you know, you're
not supposed to go to those websites. Right when you
get on your phone, you know that you can get
yourself in trouble, that you can go to jail, that
you can lose all of your finances, you can do
all of those like you know, like before you even
do them, you're like, this is you have all these
alarms going off in your head and giving a phone
to a kid they have none of those alarms. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
The point he's and if you, as a grown mature person,
know that what you're doing wrong and you still can't
control it, what makes you think that somebody who's never
doesn't have the impulse control you do, is going to
be able to so small example there, But you need
to know those things and look out for them. So gee,
we touched on a few very specific ones, but like
as always, you do a great job of classifying these things.
So like, let's dive in what are like the most

(30:20):
common attacks.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Before we get into the common attacks, let me give
the classification right, because all of this scripture is guard
your heart. Were just lightly touching on all the things
that your heart impacts. That your heart is your desire center.
If you have done purpose with us or listen to
some of our other purpose episodes, I talk about how
that's such a hard issue. There are many things where

(30:43):
I'm talking to men. I'm like, that's a hard issue.
That's a hard issue, and then I have that conversation
with men. But let me just kind of generalize before
we get into some specifics of the areas you have
to guard your heart. Number one, it's what goes into
your heart, right, this is let what you let in.
This is man, I'll tell you one of the big ones,

(31:04):
like it's a little thing, but it's a big thing.
Is the music that I listen to, Oh yeah, big time.
Right most of the time, I just listen to worship
music all the time. Same and I will the only
music I listened to that's not worship music is really
like it's like no lyrics, and it's like focused electronic music.

(31:25):
But even some of those have like a like they
have an angry, frustrated tone to them, like it's just sounds,
it's not even words. Sure, but sometimes I'll spend too
much time listening to those and I have to, like
I feel my heart changing, Like I just I just
need to listen to worship music because this is not
this is not good for me where it's allowing me
to go. So that's just one example of the things

(31:48):
that you let into your heart. And we're gonna come,
we're gonna go through the list here of the common
attacks for men. But these are the things that you
have to be mindful of, what you let into your heart,
the things that you listen to, the things that you watch,
the people you spend time with, the places that you go.
So number two, what comes out of your mouth, right,
because it is your mind, your willing emotions, and your heart.

(32:08):
It's all connected your spirit, soul, and body. And what
you're speaking, your heart is listening to, and what you speak,
your heart's going to confirm. And so when you let
the wrong when you let negative life sentences come out
of your mouth, when you let curse words come out
of your mouth, when you're speaking negativity out of your mouth,
you're fertilizing the wrong things in your heart. And then

(32:29):
number three, it's what you let grow. Yeah, right, And
these can be a thought that you let in that
didn't seem like that bad of a thought, but you
continued to let it grow. This can be your inability
to forgive somebody there's a lot of categories, or there's
a lot of specific things, but these are the general
categories what comes into your heart, what comes out of
your mouth, and what you let grow.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, that's so good. So the real quick the Josh
Broom episode was two six before we go into that,
and you touched on it there, but like you said
this in prep and I want to make sure we
get it in. You said that your heart doesn't cleans
or get filthy in a moment, it's what you think
about all the time.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yep. So this is is a scripture I've been meditating.
I mean, I've known the scripture for a long time,
but it's scripture I've been meditating on recently. And this
past weekend when I was at the Ignite Men's event,
I had a lot of guys who there were a
lot of guys there who listened to the podcast, which
is great. I love getting to meet people from the
podcast and had I had a couple of people coming

(33:24):
to be like, hey man, I'm sorry to bother you.
I'm like, you're never bothered me. Like, if you listen
to this show, please come up if I'm if I'm
in some public space, that means I'm available for talking
to Like, don't please don't come to my house, but yeah,
you don't come to my office and try to like, hey,
can we talk Like no, but you know, if I'm
at church, I'm in an event or whatever, I'd love to
speak to you about the podcast or whatever you're going through.

(33:45):
So anyways, I had multiple conversations with guys and something
that they were trying to change. They're trying to fix
their thought process, and I reminded them of the scripture.
This is as a man thinketh so isy. It doesn't
say as a man thought, so he is. One thought
won't change you, but the thoughts that you meditate on
you will become that thing. And so like, if you

(34:07):
meditate on greatness, eventually you'll start to see that in
your life. If you meditate on negativity, eventually you'll start
to see that on your life. If you meditate on
unforgiveness and hatred, eventually you will see this come out
of you. As a man thinketh so is he? This
is an absolute truth of the Word of God. But
it is not something that happens. You don't cleanse your
heart in a moment, and you don't corrupt your heart

(34:29):
in a moment, you like, if you have one negative thought, right,
because I've had I have them all the time. I've
had greed thoughts, I've had lest thoughts. I've had all
these thoughts, but I have to stop them. I shut
them down. Right, My heart's not corrupted by the one thought.
But you let those thoughts grow, you let them continue,
and you will become that thing.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
And I like it.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
It's so easy to see the power of the negative,
but I feel like it surprises me sometimes people don't
see the power of the possible. Yeah, right, what if
I just continue to believe that God had a great
plan for mollice. Yeah, that's just as powerful as your
inability to forgive someone.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah. You I remember the first time you ever said,
like the what if monster, but if the what if
muster can be a good thing as well. I was like,
no way, I'd never thought about that. And you're absolutely right, man, Yeah,
all right, attacks for.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
Men, just do it.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
We're going to start off with the obvious of lust.
Oh I thought it was foreign terror. This is lust
is misguided desire. You're you're looking at something that's not
meant for you, and you're focused on something that's not
actually for you. It's it's attractive to your eyes, but
it's not actually what God wants for you. You start

(35:36):
trying to take control of what you think is going
to satisfy your flesh, and it's wanting something. Lust is
wanting something so badly that you're willing to compromise for it, right,
and you know you know how we feel about compromise
on this. Yeah, Death by a thousand compromises James, Chapter one,
verse fourteen.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Each person is tempted. When he is dragged away by
his own evil desire and enticed, it destroys the end.
To me, was this destroys intimacy with God because it
gives up divine satisfaction for temporary pleasure.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yeah, that's that is a I'll tell you what I think.
For most people, when you hear lust, you're like, Okay,
I know I shouldn't look at chicks that way, But
for what you to say that you want something so
bad that you're willing to compromise for it, That is
a That.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Of my biggest lust defense in my life. Not like
I didn't you know, there's a there's a lot of
like anti porn documentaries and stuff out there, and they
try to make that like they make porn seem bad,
and they like shock you with that. I don't want
to be grotesque, but I've I've been around people, and
I've seen what the dark side of humanity is capable

(36:40):
of in numbing itself to like every sense of an
alarm bell, right like that, you can, like all these
things that you know are terrible, you can eventually become
numb to those things. And so I think it's it's
a good tactic, you know, to shock people into like
how bad porn is and you know this is somebody's
daughter and all those things. It works, But I think

(37:01):
there's a better tactic. Yeah, And what has been my
greatest like lust defense in my life is you know,
having felt the presence of God and felt closeness with God,
knowing that when I engage in that, it takes me
away from that, right right, when I engage with loss,
when I engage with pornography, it takes me away from
closeness with God.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
That's so good? Gee, all right, what's next? None of
none of these are are very fun. Well, yeah, they
are attacks, man. I mean, like you know, if you said, hey,
do you want to get punched? In the face or
in the groin. Both of them are gonna suck.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
You know. Should I shoot you in your left arm
or your right kneecap?

Speaker 2 (37:38):
That's definitely left arm, right. How about a bat to
the face? Yeah, no, I don't want that one either.
I'd definitely rather be shot than a bat to the face. Yeah,
I mean, geez, yeah, you don't come back from that one.
You can heal your arm, all right.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Number two is pride, and pride is the need for
you to be the source.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I feel like we need to punch down efect because
there're some hard hitting definitions.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Man. Pride is instead of trusting on God, it's self sufficiency,
it's and I'll just say it now. Greed's not on
the list, but greed is on this list. Greed is
in this category, and it's in another one we're going
to hit later. Greed the love of money. It can
show up in the form of pride, which is like,

(38:23):
you know, I want to be the one? Like this
is pride is the original sin. This is lucifer of
like why can't I be the one? Why can't I'm
you know, I'm already one of the highest of angels,
But why can't I be God? That's pride and saying
like why can't I be the sinner? Why can't I
be the one? That thought is a thought that will
destroy you? And James Chapter four, verse six is a

(38:45):
scripture that should remind you that you never want pride.
It says that God opposes the proud but gives grace
to the humble. There's a place that you can never
come back from, and it's God opposing you. Yeah. Good,
there's a lot of obstacles you can overcome. You're never
going to overcome God opposing you.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
So bat to the face or God opposing you. Take
the bat to the face. All right, what's up after that?

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Gee?

Speaker 2 (39:04):
I feel like we're hitting the we're hitting all the
fun ones, like you said, and again, these are the
attacks from That's what this list is. These are attacks,
and so you need to think about what your counter
assault is. It is so easy to let some of
these things in. Like I've, you know, I'm not I'm
not perfect. I don't pretend to be perfect. I've there
have been seasons in my life where I engaged in lust.

(39:27):
And I can go back, and I can roll the
tape back and see where I went off track, like
I allowed a thought and then I allowed a thought
to continue. Right, Like many of the things on this
list I've engaged in before, I allowed a thought and
I allowed the thought to continue. And so you have
to have your counter assault set up. And this is
why I talk about it often on this podcast. I

(39:48):
have a daily practice of just getting on my knees
and saying, God, your way and not my way. Lord,
cleanse me of my own righteousness, forgive me of my sin.
Let there be less of me and more of you, Lord,
fix my heart. Yeah, right, Like I know there's things
that get it. It's something that I wrestle with all
the time, is trying to get my heart right with
God because I know if I get that right, everything

(40:10):
else is going to take care of it. Yeah. I
want to just highlight that. You say that all the time,
and I feel like I'm always right behind you, going, hey, guys,
really pay attention to what Garrett said, because people want
the hows, like what's you just gave the counter assault?
To really genuinely get down on your knees. It's like, well,
how will I know? How will I know if I
have my heart right? You'll know, like It's one of
those things when you've released hold of you needing to

(40:31):
be the source. I can't tell you the three step
process other than to get down and do what Garrett
just said and really mean it. You'll know when you've
let go and you keep doing it for a long time.
That's exactly right because because that that definition, the need
to be the source, oh man, that hits in so
many different areas. And so I just want to remind
people it's not like it's sometimes we can think of

(40:51):
a disgusting amount of pride, but sometimes it's like you said,
I gave that million dollars. It wasn't it so good
that I did that. Let's just let's just step back
and appreciate what I've done for today. It's been a
good I should be proud of myself because you know, like,
not a lot of people could do that, and I
did that. And I'm telling you, man, it's so deceptive.
All right, Gee, what's number three? So number three is fear?
A thing or two about that?

Speaker 1 (41:15):
So so many times fear is at the center of
the weakness in your life. I don't want to be
a coward for Christ. One of the evidences, one of
the first fruit in the Gospel of a relationship with
Christ is boldness. We have boldness in my heart. And

(41:35):
that's why you know, we've we talk about fear a
lot on this show, Fear Is. We have a Great
Fear Series and we talk about fear and mindset mastery.
And there's a reason for that. There's a reason for that.
And you and I both experienced and heard the stories
from people where they come to like, man, I didn't realize,
like you thought you weren't sick, and then and then
your eyes it was revealed to you, like you're covered

(41:57):
in this. Everything in you is fear right, Like you
have fear in every thought that you have, You have
fear in every action that you're taking. Fear is the
silent master in your life. You don't think it's there,
and it's behind everything that you're doing. First John chapter four,
verse eighteen. Perfect love drives out fear. And it is

(42:21):
one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible that says
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but
of power and love and a sound mind. God did
not make you to be afraid, and so this is
the fear in your heart right like that that is
just the thought of that fear in my heart like
that disgusts me. Yeah, I want to be a I
want to be a warrior. I want I don't want

(42:42):
fear in my mind. I certainly don't want it in
my heart. And it's this is one of those things
you've got to engage. You got to fight against this
the same way when you start to let lust in.
Fear is. Fear is sneaky. It tries to mask itself
as like can like this, it's I'm trying to I'm
just trying to keep you safe.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Yeah, that's logic. Yeah, that's it. It is. It's so
funny because I know we're not gonna go deep on
this because we have the Fear series starts in episode
seventy six. If anybody wants to check that out, you
really should check it out, because we go through the
steps to get rid of fear as well, which is
what people really want to have.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
On episode two seventy six, here a little bit, we
might have to revisit fear.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Hey all right, well you're saying that's a good twenty
episodes ahead of time. Let's see if we remember by then,
because that's gonna be the real test. But yeah, I mean,
like exactly what you just said. It's so many times
people would like defend fear because like you said, it's
the silent master, and what does the master do? It
controls you, right, and if you don't know it, like
you're just being steered around and when you actually, I

(43:41):
mean step one, I'll just I'll just give you a
little insight into that series. Step one is to know
your fear, right. It's like, if you don't see it,
how you're gonna how you're gonna shoot it right, and
like you have to know it. And so it's it's
there's so much to that, but you let's keep going
because those I feel like those the less pride and fear.
We've talked about those a lot. The next four, there's
only four more. I don't feel like we've talked about
the much, so I want to spend a little bit
more time there.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
So the next one here is and again these are
common attacks for men. The next one is bitterness. Bitterness
is the poison of the past. And Nick was actually
surprised when I put this on the list. He's like,
we don't talk about that barrier. Yeah, we don't actually
think it's a big deal for your heart, because like,
this is one that hardens your heart and bitterness. Bitterness

(44:26):
is something that when you harden your heart, you become
like and you close yourself off and you're no longer
receptive to like you you numb yourself to other emotions
and feelings and like, I don't want to listen to
those people anymore. I'm cutting my family out. I don't
want to deal with this anymore. What that turns into
is just like you're chopping off a piece of your

(44:47):
heart and and you say, like literally, like you shit,
you slice off just a little piece of your heart
and you call it good? Right? How long can how
many times can you do that?

Speaker 2 (44:56):
That's good? Man?

Speaker 1 (44:57):
And so what that eventually turns into is like a
a heart that's hardened towards God. Right, because you're practicing bitterness.
What if you practiced right like any dude who mouths
off to me, I'm gonna punch him in the face. Okay,
practice that for a while, and what's going to happen
the next time your wi wife mouths off to you?

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Right? Yeah? Man?

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Right? And so you you you put these things into
your life where you start practicing something You're like, this
is protecting me. No, it's actually destroying you. And and
bitterness is letting your like choosing to let your heart
get hard. Beau is like, I never want to hear
from those people. I don't care about anything that this
person has to say. Like, that's what bitterness sounds like.
And it's you're allowing darkness into your heart.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Yeah, because it's a self defense mechanism, isn't it. It's
like people hurt me, right and and that, and you
wouldn't realize that. It's like you need to face that
pain and sit with the love of Christ is literally
the opposite of bitterness. Jesus says, forgive them, for they
know not what they do. He had, He had all
right and all measure to be bitter, and chose to
be merciful man. That scripture I've been I've been trying

(46:00):
to like grasp that one. I think I read it
at Easter and that was like what six seven months
ago now, and I'm still like sitting there to know
in the moment while people are literally whipping you, punching
in the face, mocking you, you're up on a cross
with nails that they've put into you and you're saying, Hey,
they don't know what they're doing. I honestly can't grasp
I can't grasp that. Like how you know that in the.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Moment, And that's the reflection of I didn't come here
to be served, but to serve.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, and thank God that we serve a god like that. Man,
it's incredible Hebrews chapter twelve, verse fifteen. See to it
that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and
defile many. Next attack on our lives is comparison. Comparison
is the thief of contentment. What comparison does in you

(46:49):
is it blinds you to your calling it blind You're
so focused on what other people are doing. It becomes
either arrogance or insecurity. That's what can That's what can
comparison begins to develop in you. It's the comparison is
the opposite of gratitude.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Right. Gratitude is saying God, thank you for giving this
to me. Right, comparison is why don't I have that?

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Yeah, I mean, I'll give a quick story on this one. Gee.
I mean people think, oh, comparison is the thief of joy. Well,
like you just talked about, you didn't say this word.
I always say it's actually the thief of destiny because
what so many people do is they don't understand that
that God made them to be them. So like they
will see something else that's a good thing, and they'll
be like, I want to be like that person, and

(47:33):
they'll they'll constantly be comparing themselves to whatever they've put
on a pedestal, and they're not satisfied.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Want to your own part, exactly play your part. You
really want to have that like the opposite of comparison.
This could almost sound like a conceited attitude, but it's
really like a god confidence of looking at maybe looking
at people that you thought were better than you or whatever,
and looking at them and saying, you'll never be me.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Right, Well, and I think you can when you're when
you have that security and who God's made you to be,
you actually appreciate that people have what you don't have. Yeah, So,
like early on the story I was gonna tell I've
told it before. I don't know if I've told it
on the podcast. Maybe I have early on in the podcast.
You know, if you go back and listen to early episodes,
which I know a lot of people do, you basically
heard where a lot of mine and Garrett's coaching sessions
were like, truthfully, like when I listened to that, I'm like,

(48:15):
they're getting me still in like coaching mode, because that's
how I would come to Garrett. I'd ask them questions
and I would persist on things. I think that's why
you liked coaching me. Because I went to be like, cool,
how do I make more money? It was like I'd
be like, no, no, I needed to get at the root
of this. So that's like the early days. Well, i
would listen back to our early episodes and I'm like, man,
I'm talking fast, I'm using lots of filler words. Garrett's
like saying these things that are deeply wise, and I'm

(48:36):
like the court gesture over there. And so I had decided,
I'm like, I'm going to start getting like I'm going
to drop bombs man, Like I'm gonna be really prepared
for our episodes and I'm gonna come on. And I
felt like in my spirit, man, like God. I always say,
God's a better communicator than we are listeners. Something in
me went like whoa, and like exactly what I heard
in my head was I've already got a Garrett uncle back.
I don't need another one. I need you to be
the best nick surface. And I was kind of like

(48:57):
at that point, I don't really think I knew what
that meant. For as we've gone on, I've realized so
much of the best thing that I could do is
to be the combination ingredient in between me and you
that God can use to bless many people. Because my
thought process was exactly this, I said, Lord, what would
crush me is if I got to the end of
my life and realized, like I was so busy trying
to be something else that a lot of other people

(49:19):
missed out on a blessing and I don't want to
have to stand before God and answer for that. That
actually is is like my worst nightmare. And when you're focused,
when you're this is like in sports. Sports is great
analogy for this. Like you're a receiver and you're trying
to throw the ball right, It's like, dude, not only
are you not receiving, you're also ruining somebody else's job.
Play your part, Like who's the hero on the field.

(49:41):
The quarterback, the receiver, the lineman, the tight end, right,
the running back. Everybody has their part to play right, right,
everyone has to play their part. And so this goes
great with Galatians Chapter six, verse four and five. Let
each one test his own work, for each will have
to bear his own load. There's a job for you

(50:03):
that's not for anybody else, right, And so if you're
looking at somebody else's job, you're trying to be somebody else.
You're missing the job that God has for you. And
God wants you to play your part. Yeah, I mean,
I know. The Lord knew I could take a metaphorical beating,
so they put me with you and here we are,
you know.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
And that's that's the the negativity of comparison. But when
you let comparison into your heart, it turns into arrogance
or insecurity.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Yeah, yeah, it really does. It really does, because you're
constantly trying to one up other people and so like
out of the guard your heart for out of it
flow the issues of life. Comparison you think it's not
a big deal, you let this end and you become
arrogant or you become insecure. By the way, men with
your wives, with your daughters, with your kids, like you
need to be speaking the best things into them because

(50:51):
guess what, guess what if you have I have daughters,
so I know this. You know what they're like. Our
society is full of you should look like this, you
should like I've never I didn't know twelve year old
were so into skincare and like having long eyelashes and like,
this is stuff that's a big deal. And if you don't,
if you're not on guard to this stuff, I'm just
using a real example of my own life that popped
in my head. If you're not on guard to this stuff,
watch out, because you're leaving the door open, and you

(51:12):
know what, It'll start there and then it's like, actually,
you should have flatterr stomach, you should have this feature
or that feature, and and you're you're completely You're raising
a daughter that's so insecure. So guess what. First time
some guy comes along and starts saying the right things
to her, off she goes and then you're you're then
you're like, how did this happen? I'm telling you, man,
Like that's a I that is a real life example.
If you're not on guard, to speak into your kids

(51:33):
and tell them the best parts of them, to set
these the standards for what actual beauty is and and
build into them and tell them who they are. You're
missing the same thing with your wife, Like your wife
needs to hear from you. She needs to hear how
beautiful she is. She needs to be built up and
encouraged and loved and nurtured. That is your job as
the man. So I just want to highlight that we
got two more gi What do we got?

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Apathy? Man? Apathy They different approach but similar effect as bitterness.
There's a there's a word that Pops hated when I
was grown up, and it was whatever I could see
they hated. When he's like, we don't say that, right,
because whatever is such an attitude of like it's no,

(52:14):
but it's fine, you know, I don't care. Apathy comes
from disappointment or exhaustion. Right, You're at the end of
yourself and you're like, it doesn't even matter, I don't care,
I don't feel anything. And this that numbness, right, it's
the opposite of the passion and zeal that your heart

(52:35):
is supposed to have. And so it's it's a harder
one to fight, Like apathy slowly, like it creeps on
you through disappointment and exhaustion, right, and those are hard things.
To fight right, because they just wear down your energy.
Like very different than lust. You know, lust isn't just
coming after you when you're tired. It's coming after you
all the time, and really different than apathy, Like lust

(52:56):
just gets louder. Right, you won't listen, I'll try again.
I'll try again. I try again, and and it builds
a case against you. But apathy just waits for you
to give up, right and letting again. Similar to bitterness,
like you're you're slicing off pieces of your heart. Apathy
is like having rooms in your house that you just
stop cleaning.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Man, that's such a good analogy. G what's the scripture
on that?

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Revelations chapter three, verse sixteen. Because you're lukewarm, I'm about
to spit you out. Yeah, don't let don't let apathy
into your heart and rob you of the passion and
zeal that you're supposed to have.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
If apathy really is the test of endurance, isn't it?
Because like you, like you said, you can you can
stop me fifty times, but can you stop me fifty one?

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (53:38):
Because it And that's I felt very apathetic whenever I
was depressed, because it was like I lost belief and
that's what it was. I thought, this is never going
to change.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Well, and that's where Jesus tells the disciples to forgive
seventy times seven.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
Yeah yeah, don't keep child?

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Yeah yeah, so good. What is the last one, Jane,
last big attack on men? And this is a control mindset.
Control is counterfeit trust. Right, what we're supposed to do
is lean not on our own understanding, but in all
your ways acknowledge him. Then he'll make your pas straight,
like give it up to God, choose to follow him.

(54:14):
But control is saying like every time, like, man, this
is so deceptive of your heart and this is so
taking you in the wrong direction. Control is like, yeah,
I know I'm supposed to trust God, but I need
to make this happen. Control is well, like that if
I trust in God here that would be a risk.

(54:35):
And it's not like you're risking your job. Here's what
people are afraid to risk. They're afraid to risk their hope.
What if I believe in God doesn't do it? What
if he lets me down? I don't know if I
could handle that pain again. Fear by the way, fear
of pain. And so what we say is like, well,
I can't trust anybody else, so I just need to

(54:56):
lean on myself. I'll just control the entire situation. And
that's probably Verbs three five. Trust in the Lord with
all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
You know what's so crazy about that, though? Ge I
think a lot of times people can be controlling and
they can be telling themselves like, oh, giving God something
to work with. I'm just I'm just trying to be
faithful with this and I'm doing everything I know to do,
and like they're masking their own need for control and
the insecurity of actually letting go because once, like you said,
it's it's it's really mixed with fear.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
It's yeah, control will try to disguise itself as responsibility,
but it's at its core it's actually fear and lack
of belief. Again, heart issue. Right, I've dealt with some
men who are struggling with this very thing, and I
tell them this is heart issue. Are you trying to
like engineer an outcome or are you just saying God,

(55:49):
I trust you, I'll follow principles. I'm gonna do all
I know to do and the rest is up to you.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
Thank you very much for listening. Guys, remember to share,
like subscribe vibe. If you think that this would be
something that someone would enjoy, please send it to them.
We appreciate it all. If you want to get in touch,
you can follow us on Instagram at the Impossible Life.
You'll find us on there. You can also email at
Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com if you have
any questions. If you want to get in touch and

(56:17):
find out about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's the
way to do it. Thank you again for listening. Go
out there and think better and live the impossible. See
again soon.