November 20, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode of The Impossible Life Podcast, Garrett Unclebach and Nick Surface revisit one of their most practical and transformative principles — Timeframe Orientation.
Your timeframe determines your direction. Most people live in short-term cycles — 30-day paychecks, 12-month goals, and reactionary habits — but true success and spiritual maturity come when you learn to see further down the road.
Garrett and Nick unpack how short-term thinking sabotages long-term growth in every area of life: parenting, marriage, health, business, and faith. Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and leadership lessons, they show how extending your perspective aligns you with God’s eternal timeline and helps you live with greater clarity, discipline, and purpose. 💡 In This Episode You’ll Learn:
Join a group of likeminded Impossible Life listeners in our FREE Skool community by clicking here.
Sign up for the 2026 New Year's Day Ice Bath event here
Get the Purpose Playbook by clicking here
Get the FREE Basic Discipline Training 30 Day Program by clicking here
Join us in Mindset Mastery by clicking here
If you're a man that wants real accountability and training to be a leader, click here.
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GET IN TOUCH
Social Media - @theimpossiblelife
Email - info@theimpossible.life
Your timeframe determines your direction. Most people live in short-term cycles — 30-day paychecks, 12-month goals, and reactionary habits — but true success and spiritual maturity come when you learn to see further down the road.
Garrett and Nick unpack how short-term thinking sabotages long-term growth in every area of life: parenting, marriage, health, business, and faith. Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and leadership lessons, they show how extending your perspective aligns you with God’s eternal timeline and helps you live with greater clarity, discipline, and purpose. 💡 In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- What Timeframe Orientation is and why it determines your destiny
- How Luke 9:62 reveals the danger of looking backward instead of forward
- The difference between living by your mortgage cycle and your mission cycle
- How to shift your mindset from survival to stewardship
- Five areas where your timeframe determines your fruit:
- Parenting – Raising character, not convenience
- Marriage – Building connection, not comfort
- Faith – Focusing on identity in Christ, not performance
- Business – Sowing value, not chasing income
- Health – Thinking longevity, not quick fixes
Join a group of likeminded Impossible Life listeners in our FREE Skool community by clicking here.
Sign up for the 2026 New Year's Day Ice Bath event here
Get the Purpose Playbook by clicking here
Get the FREE Basic Discipline Training 30 Day Program by clicking here
Join us in Mindset Mastery by clicking here
If you're a man that wants real accountability and training to be a leader, click here.
Level up your nutrition with IDLife by clicking here
GET IN TOUCH
Social Media - @theimpossiblelife
Email - info@theimpossible.life
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe. It's your weakness,
it's not your technique. Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
(00:46):
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk. The real truth is this. The
solution to any impossible task starts with this question, If
I had to what would it take?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What would it take?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across at
a man who recently became the first man to have
his brain connected directly to the Internet. That's right, friends, Garrett,
Uncle Buck, a man who didn't just crash chat GPT.
He made the entire internet ask for a mental health day.
(01:30):
Shout out to cloud Flair.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I'm not chat GPT, I'm Garrett GPT as you.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Like you really are, you really are? Well. There was
a lot of there was we're recording this a couple
of days before it releases, and there was a cloud
flare outage today that caused a lot of problems, including
chat shept to go down, which you know, shocker. There
was not as much content on LinkedIn that day either,
you know, weird because everybody's got the old.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Sorry that you don't have your own, you know, built
into your brain. It's too bad for you.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The Lord's language model, you were the original LLM boom,
we do.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
That all right, Well the Bibles the original LLM.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
That's true, that is true. Yeah, well done, sorry Lord. Anyways,
So today is Tools and Tactics, which is if you're
new to the podcast, which I know we're getting new
listeners all the time and we're very grateful for you guys.
We do like a deep dive on all sorts of
things on our earlier in the week release and then
these ones are meant to be more tools and tactics,
(02:32):
which is like, just do this. Like these types of episodes,
we're going to just give you something. It's shorter and
it's punchier, and we will tackle various how to's and
all that sort of stuff. Well, today we're going to
revisit one of our favorite topics, which was from episode
fifty one, time Frame Orientation, which is the only time we.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Have We have many listeners and friends who have told
us this is one of their favorite episodes, and it's
personally one of my favorite episodes.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
It was a game changer for me when we did it,
and it's something that It's funny because when we were
planning this episode, I kind of had to like rewind
myself to the thought process because it's something I use
all the time anyways. So we're gonna we're gonna explain.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
The concept you have to go back to when you
didn't know this, which is starting to feel like a
long time ago for you.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Oh man, you know what that's actually that's actually a
real positive thing. Man. I'm grateful to be able to
say that. But yeah, so I'm gonna we're gonna explain
what this is. We're and just kind of catch you
guys up real quick. But the real focus is to
dive into five areas where you are. It's very likely
that you're living in short term time frame orientation on
(03:35):
some of these areas, if not all of them. Or
we've all experienced the short term time frame orientation, and
we're gonna show you what long term time frame orientation
looks like. So we're gonna dive into that. So I
heard Tony Robbins say once, g and I think when
you say like time frame orientation for your life, it's,
first of all, it's not something that you really think
about often to say time frame orientation, that's not like
a common term. I think people think about the timeline
(03:56):
of their life. And I heard the guy that I love,
Tony Robbins, that he's like, everybody has a blueprint for
their life, and if you're ahead of your blueprint print,
you're happy, and if you're behind your blueprint, you're said
or and frustrated. And I think that that's true, and
so a lot of people will be like, yeah, yeah,
I totally get that, but time frame orientation is not
that like, yes, you do have a blueprint that you
developed them somewhere else where you think you should have
(04:16):
a marriage by thirty and kids by thirty three and
certain amount of money. That's one thing. But time frame
orientation is way different than that. Man.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Time frame orient time frame orientation will change your blueprint, right,
very good? Okay, So what is time frame orientation? Okay,
let's break it down really quick. Time frame is a
period of time, but a time frame and time frame
is a day, a week, a year, your life, a season.
All of these are all time frames, okay. And what
is orientation? Orientation is implot That means there's two positions,
(04:48):
and how is one position aligned to the next position? Okay,
So when we put these two things together, time frame
orientation is on what time frame are you determining your life? Right?
On what timeframe are you orienting your life? Or on
what timeframe? On what period of time are you making
a set of decisions about where you're going? Okay, that's
(05:09):
what time frame orientation is a lot of people. One
of the tools we've taught on this podcast is zoom
in zoom out.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
You've got to look at things in a short term lens,
and you've also got to look at things in a
long term lens. And this is there's lessons all throughout
history on the failures of improper time frame orientation. Corporations
do it all the time. You see this in business
where businesses begin to overly focus and you could do
a macro study on capitalism over the last fifty years,
(05:39):
where there has been an over focus on share it's
what's called a shareholder society. There's been an over focus
on the quarterly performance. How do I make the stock
perform for the quarterly share price? And that sounds good
for a moment, but when you perform for the quarter
for a decade in a row, that's how your business
ends up in the wrong market. That's how your business
(06:01):
ends up with terrible product. That's how your business ends
up overleveraged and underperforming because you did not set a
course far enough out for something that was going to
turn into a great harvest for you. And so that's
an example in corporations. But people do this in their
life all the time. They make a decision for their
life based upon what's going to work good for next year,
(06:22):
what's going to make me feel good in the moment,
what's going to make my life easier in the next
few years, Where really what the reason we talk about
time frame orientation, I'll just cut right to the chase here.
The reason we talk about time frame orientation and teach
it is because what we want for everybody is that
they would orient their life. This is what the way
Jesus talked about it is all the way into eternity.
(06:44):
And we'll come back to that here in a minute.
But you've got to live your life on a longer
time frame orientation because what this allows you to do
is allows you to stay focused, It allows you to
be patient, allows you to be consistent. We've said this
before and it it's one of the things that I
say that Nick really likes. Is the thing that I'll
get you most off course. The easiest off course in
your life is a tailwind. A lot of people take
(07:06):
a few steps in one hundred different directions or a
thousand different directions, and really what you need to do,
this is advice that I give to every young person,
is pick one direction and go go as hard as
you can five at eighteen years old. I don't care
what you do. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter
what you do other than don't do something immoral. But
it doesn't matter what you do just go spend five
(07:28):
years becoming great at that thing, because for oftentimes, for
eighteen nineteen twenty year olds, they try a bunch of
things for one month at the time, like, oh I
did like that, Well you didn't like it because you
weren't good at it. So anyways, the point of time
frame orientation is what time frame, what period of time
are you deciding what your life should be on. And
the truth is that you should set your sights on eternity,
(07:50):
and you should set your sights on what you want
your life to feel like and become at the end,
because if you don't, if you don't do that, you'll
be like to come as a set in his poem,
get to the end of your life and beg for
a little more time, weeping and praying, wishing you could
do it over again.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, man, I never want to be there. I feel
like we could just end the episode right now, because
it's like, if that doesn't get you fired up and
thinking about things from a different time frame orientation.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
If you think about every dumb decision that you ever made, right,
maybe you don't understand the concept yet, or maybe for
some of you it's already clicking, but you know, take
this thought and if you don't get it yet, think
about it at the end of the episode. But if
you take every dumb decision that you ever made, it
was a short term time frame orientation decision.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, hey, that fourth shot of tequila sound like a
great idea at the time, because you know, that's what
I was.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Looking for, was whether it's the obvious dumb things, you know, tequila, porn, whatever,
it is, obvious dumb things. Those are short term time
frame orientation decisions. But also you could look at some
of the other maybe more complicated but still dumb decisions
that you made. Those are you know, porn and tequila.
Those are obvious dumb decisions. But maybe look at some
of the more complicated visions that you made, and I
(09:01):
would bet that many of them are short term timeframe
orientation decisions.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I feel like you were looking directly at me when
you said that, Like, not just because we're co hosts,
so maybe we can take this up offline. That was
a little bit you had a different look in your
eye there, all right, So just I hope you guys
are grasping this now. Now here's what we said, and
it's most people's time frame orientation is five and two, right, Like,
this is everybody's working for the week and like you
(09:28):
know the song, the cool song, pull out that guitar
behind you, Well maybe I will. Gee, you know, we
got a few extra singers on her end as well.
But like you know, you work for five days so
that you can have two days at the weekend to
do whatever you want. This is like the fault and
like most people don't think beyond that. They're just kind
of like, you know, like I think about my kids,
(09:49):
like how many how many more days to the weekend? Right?
And that's like you get trained in that at a
young age and then next thing you know, you've got
a job and you're having that same mentality. And this
is how a lot of people live. A lot of
people will never zoom past five and two, except for
maybe the odd they'll think a month at a time
around things like a mortgage or a car payment, and
that's about as far out as they get. I think.
To get somebody to think, I mean, there's that quote
(10:10):
that we love from Bill Gates says most people overestimate
what they can do in a year and underestimate what
they can do in ten and that's an example of
people really struggling with this broader time frame orientation. But
here's a little thing for you to note. We've used
some examples. I've talked about my kids. There's a reason
your time frame orientation gets longer as you get older,
Like this is something that you grasp more and more.
(10:30):
If you think about a lot of the dumb decisions
that Garrett referenced. I'm hoping it was when you were
much younger and not as you've gotten older. Although if
it is, you know, praise God for repentance and restoration.
But it's you know, it's one of these things that
you don't really understand. Like for me to talk about
my kids, hey, what do you want to be when
you're thirty? Right now, it is like trying to speak
to them in a language that hasn't been invented yet.
(10:51):
It's too hard for the grasp. So just know that
as you continue to mature and develop, you're going to
be able to see more of the picture, and your
time frame is gonna is in the linth and out
at least it should so that you can't truly start
to look for eternity. So g you said the key
scripture for this was Luke nine sixty two, and.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
This was Jesus. This is this is this is what
I was referencing earlier, and this is you know, this
isn't something I'm made up. Okay, time frame time frame
orientation comes from the Bible. It is a success principle
from the Bible. I'll explain that here in a second.
But Luke, chapter nine, verse sixty two. I love this verse.
This is one of those challenging verses where you read
it and you're like, hold on a second, what does
that mean? What is he because it's a statement that
(11:29):
at surface value, it's like, well, that seems mean or
that seems unfair, that seems extremely challenging, and so you
have to dive into it for what it means. Luke,
chapter nine, verse sixty two. Jesus replied, no one who
puts a hand to the plow and looks back is
fit for service in the Kingdom of Heaven. Right, And
so there's a there's a couple of takeaways from this.
(11:50):
The primary meaning in this scripture is saying people who
set out to you know, you get introduced to Christ,
you set out to serve Christ, and say, this is
what you want, but then you start looking back. And
this is a reference to Israel in Egypt by the
way you start looking back and wishing for your old
sinful ways. Israel was two weeks into the desert and
(12:12):
out of Egypt before they started whining and complaining and saying, Man,
Egypt was nice. We had a warm bed there, we
had a hot meal. Right, he's saying, you've got to
decide that you're going to follow me and you're not
going to look back. It's primary meaning in the scripture,
but it's also a reference to how agriculture happened back then. Okay,
if you understand how agriculture happened back then, they didn't
(12:34):
have tractors. They had a cow or a horse or
an ox that would pull a plow. And what a
farmer would do is just imagine a rectangular field, and
on one side of the field where he's going to
start from, he's got a bunch of steaks in the ground.
That's where he's going to start the plow from. And
on the opposite the end of the field he has
(12:55):
matching stakes. And so he's going to stand behind a
steak and look at the steak all the way on
the other end of the field, and as he drives
the oxen forward, he's not looking in front of the oxen,
not trying to dodge little rocks or just looking shortly
in front of him, but he's looking all the way
at the other end of the field, at the stake
at the other end, And if he looks at that,
(13:17):
then him when he gets to the end, he'll have
driven a straight line. Right. There's also there's multiple ways
to practice this. Pull out a piece of paper and
don't if you look in front of the pin and
try to draw a straight line, you'll draw a terrible line.
If if you get out a piece of paper on
a pin, put your pin on the paper and look
(13:38):
at a point at the end of the paper, and
just keep looking there and drive the pin to that point,
you'll drive a really straight line. But if you look
down at the pin while you're trying to go towards
that spot on the other end of the paper, out
of your peripheral, you'll drive a really squiggly line. So
I mean when you if you go slack lining, if
(13:59):
you ever stood on a slack line before, like a tightrope,
they don't look down at their feet. They look at
the end of the line. They look where they're going.
So this is a success principle that if you want
greater outcomes, if you want a better harvest, if if
you want to actually get to the destination right where
you want to go, you've got to look all the
way to the end. And so this scripture Jesus is saying, hey,
(14:22):
look all the way to the end, look into eternity. Right,
But this is a success principle. Everything we do in
this podcast, I'm going to drive you towards eternal perspective.
I'm going to drive you towards kingdom perspective. But you
can also take this principle. What do principles do? They
govern outcomes? Okay, make everything in your life about kingdom.
(14:42):
But also if you want to just succeed in your business,
don't just operate for the quarter. Operate on a ten
year plan, Operate on a twenty year plan, operate on
a fifty year plan. How are you going to turn
this business down to your grandchildren? And if you start
to think that way, you'll operate very differently. I've done
goal setting with people many times, and I talk about
(15:05):
it from a very I call it something different than
goal setting, and I talk about it from a different way,
but that's the term that most people are familiar with,
and a lot of people they'll set goals like, oh,
I want to, you know, improve my salary by ten
percent this year. I want to say, fifteen thousand dollars.
I want to pay off this credit card that costs
twenty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Set some set some nice goal, and there's nothing wrong
with those things. But if you do, if you do
a goal like that ten years in a row, you
won't be satisfied with where you are in ten years.
Ten years from now, you'll look back. I'm like, man,
I should have come further than this, because ten years
ago you should have set a ten year plan. And
if you've set a ten year plan for something, this
(15:43):
is real. This is anything that you're going to do
over ten years. You'll probably spend the first five to
seven years really preparing and developing to get a lot
of the progress that would happen over ten years. In
year eight, nine, and ten, this is just how things
grow and how things develop. So again, this is success principle.
If you don't orient in your life on a longer timeframe,
(16:05):
you're going to get to the end and be really disappointed.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, what I love about this ge. I've often found
that when you hear true wisdom, it's always like, oh,
of course, and this can sound so overly simple. It's like, hey,
don't just think about the moment, like zoom out on
your life and have a long time frame. It's like, oh, okay, yeah, great, check.
But we fall into this in so many places, and
I wanted we're going to dive into five very specific
examples where I think a lot of people are like, oh, shoot,
(16:32):
by the way, what Garrett just mentioned about having ten
year vision and setting goals. If you ever wish that
you could have Garrett help you set goals, stay tuned
because we're going to be releasing the Purpose playbooks soon
and that's exactly what it's going to do. It's going
to help you understand purpose, vision, priorities, core values, and
making real process based goals that you will crush that
will lead to the greatest life possible. So I'm amped.
(16:54):
I've been had my head in this thing for the
past month and I can't wait for people to get
their hands on it, becase it's going to be do
or do not.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I am not a beggar either hurts once in a
marketing anyway. Either if you want to have the best
life ever or you just want to stay the same,
that's up to you.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
That's up to you. I'm guess if you're listening to
this podcast, you don't want to stay the same, and
I'm glad that you are. Man Like, I got to say, Gee,
we're getting so many messages by just side note before
we dive in, for all you guys that are messaging us,
thank you, Like it never gets old, it's always encouraging.
We have people emailing us dms on social media, however
they get hold. It's just I love talking to people.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We're not able to respond to every message, which is
which is really hard for us, but we read every message.
We try to respond to as many of you guys
as we can, and we're super grateful for you guys,
one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, So thank you guys. It's just amazing to see
what God's doing. All right, So let's go into five examples. Gee,
where you have We're going to show you the short term,
the long term, and the how is going to be
up to you, but we're going to give you some examples.
So short term time frame orientation number one and this
one is a plague in our country is in parenting.
And here's short term time frame orientation. Here's just how
(18:00):
an iPad. Let's just make it easy. What's that you want?
You want to just be entertained all day with you know,
YouTube and get your attention span of a goldfish. Here
you go, and man, it's peaceful. Now I can go
do what I want.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And it's that's the iPad deal is one of those
things that absolutely triggers people. And so like some people,
you know, when you trigger people, here's what they do.
They make they'll they'll give you their reasons.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And I'm not going to sit here and talk about
iPads like it's you know, like you're sending your kids
to hell.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
But I'm also not going to play with it and
baby people and say like, oh, it's not a big deal.
It actually is a big deal. Some you know, maybe
you use them tactically or for specific reasons or whatever.
That's fine. I'm not I'm not here to talk about
like the science on the iPads or whatever. But what
we can all very clearly agree on is that if
I put my kid on an iPad all day, every day.
(18:50):
It'll be really good for me and really bad for them.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, one hundred percent. I mean I I have my
kids have iPads, and we definitely have very clear standards
around them.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And it's one you've done, and you've done seasons where
it's like for two months, it's like, hey, guys, you
know we're killing iPads for a while.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, we did it. We last year we did no
iPad November and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Your kids are Your kids are older too, which is different.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
They are, but you know, iPads have been around their
whole life. I mean, it's been It's something that we've
definitely laid looked at and we've I've paid a lot
of attention. I'll just put it that way. And what
I'll say is, you know, whenever you're saying, when you're
pressing the easy button, and that's what we mean. Short
term timeframe orientation is how do I just get this
to be comfortable? How do I make this go away?
Long term time frame orientation is how do I help
(19:33):
develop them into who God made them to be? What
lesson do they need to learn right now? And that
is such a different way of dealing with things, because
if you're I'll just give an example for my own life.
My oldest daughter's twelve, and I started to notice some
things in her where I felt like she did not
have the mental toughness that I'm trying to develop in
her as a follower of Judus and as a member
(19:54):
of my family. And so when she turned twelve years old,
I said to her, Hey, before you turn thirteen, you're
going to walk thirteen. And I told her, I said,
you can pick the time, we're going to do it together.
I said, you can walk it, run it, crawl it, whatever,
but you can't stop. We're gonna go. We're gonna do thirteen.
So this past Saturday was the day, and dude, I
can just tell you, man, we had so many amazing
takeaways on purpose, on understanding your why, on what you
(20:18):
focus on, positive attitude, Like it was a perspective shift
for her. There were so many things that like you
might be going like why would you make a twelve
year old go thirteen miles like I was texting with somebody,
or like they're in their forties, or like I've never
even done thirteen miles, and so like why would you
do that? Well, because I know what I'm trying to
develop my daughter to be. I'm trying to develop her
to be somebody who's strong, who can do hard things,
(20:40):
who understands the power of focus and understands how to
direct her mind. Well, how else am I going to
do that? If I'm constantly like going like taking the
easy way of Oh, man, she's starting to like throw
a tantrum or whatever, and she's you know, I feel
like there's some entitlement creep and in how do I
make it go away?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Here?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Just have an iPad because I don't want to deal
with this right now. Dad's how a long day at work?
I'm not doing my job, man, And so like in
those moments, and it always happens when you're tired that
your kids having an emotional breakdown or having some sort
of mood swing. Those are the moments whenever it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna step in with my equanimity. I'm gonna think
about the pattern and I'm gonna I'm gonna look at
what my daughter needs to learn from this. Most of
the time, her focus is on something she doesn't have. Okay,
(21:17):
I'm not gonna start talking to her about like you know,
some massive thing. I'm just gonna say, can I get
her out of the hole. Hey, okay, you're focusing on this.
Let's shift your focus. Now that you're out of the
out of the hole and you're no longer like in tears,
Let's talk about how we got there. Let's talk about
how to see some of the signs and patterns that
trigger you to going into that. And it all usually
starts with focusing on what you don't have, right and
a lack of gratitude, and so like I'm just sharing
(21:39):
from my very practical, like everyday life because I've got twelve, ten,
and six year old at this point, So we get
to do all these things that I know are like
seeds that we're gonna sew for the long term. I
don't know if you have anything you want add to that.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Now, it's just it's not about the iPad, right, right,
It's not about the iPad. It's about short and again
the whole point of this episode today, we're bringing time
frame moreation back. It's been a long it's been two
hundred episodes basically since we talked about it, so we're
bringing it back to talk about it some more telling
you why it's so important. I feel like that's already
clear at this point. And then the tools and tactics
(22:13):
part of this episode today is, hey, here's some great
if you're new to time frame orientation, here's some specific
areas where you really need to get this landed in
your life. Okay, and so and your parenting. Don't make
it about the short term. Your goal is not to
be Your goal is not to be your parent, your
kid's friend. My parents talked about all the time. If
you'll be your your kid's parent when they're kids, you'll
(22:35):
get to be their friend when they're adults. You get
if you try to be their friends when they're kids,
you won't have relationship with them when they're adults.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, so good, all right. Next place is a key one.
It's your relationship with God. And this is a really
interesting one as we tackle this gecause short term time
frame orientation is performance and sin focused, and that one
might sting some people because I think I think for
a lot of us, it's very much like, man, if
I could just get through this day without sinning, that
would be amazing. And we actually did a longer podcast
(23:06):
on this recently about how the purpose of your life
is not to not sin. It's to fulfill the you know,
the plans and purposes that God's made you for. It
was a much greater push.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And by the way, if, if, if all you think
about is how to not sin, you're way more likely
to sin. Yeah, right, if if it's where And I
want to say I want to say this lightly. It's
been my frustration with I've been around groups that focus
on like overcoming porn, and I feel like porn is
(23:38):
just still the focus of the conversation. Right, right, The
focus should be right. It's not about well, how do
I not do this thing? How do I how do
I not be fat? How do I not look at porn?
How do I not struggle with lust? How do I
not fall to my flesh? Over and over again? It's
still a focus on the wrong thing. The long term
(23:58):
timeframe orientation is know, hey, I want to have a
great marriage, I want to be healthy, I want to
advance the Kingdom of God. And you get more focused,
you get focused on something that's more important than idleness, right,
because you fall into all those things out of an idleness,
out of a lack of focus. When you're super focused,
you don't have time for the like, there's no room
(24:18):
for distractions and temptation. Temptation falls on us when we're
out of alignment. Temptation falls on us when we don't
have the greater focus. So in our relationship with like,
God doesn't want us to sin, but that's what he
wants for us. Isn't to just not sin. That's not
the goal, and so if you miss, if you miss
the goal, you're going to continue to fall into some
(24:38):
of the same traps over and over again. What God
wants for us is to mature, to grow, to become
everything that He's called us to be. And so if
I focus on that, you know what, that also allows
me to do not have shame in my life, because
when I do fall down, I'm like, I was dumb. Well,
got to get back. I'm so busy. I got so
much stuff to do. God is a great plan for
my life. Don't don't. I'm gonna just kind of run
(25:00):
heart because I won't have time to do that stupid
stuff again. Yeah, but when you have shame, you sit
down and he's like, oh man, why did I do that?
I don't even know, Like it's just so hard to
follow God. It's so hard to not send your focused
on the wrong things. Your orientation is improper.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, whereas long term time frame orientation is to identify
with Christ and think about advancing the kingdom. It's being
a son and having the eternal perspective. I mean, you
talked about how as much as possible you want to
connect people to eternal perspective. I want to share this
because I think that this is just when I read
this and it recently, and it just smacked me. And
I always refer to, as says Titus one one through three,
(25:37):
Paul will introduce himself in these letters, the apostle Paul,
and I want you you want to talk about a
guy who had a long term time frame orientation of eternity.
Listen to this Paul, a servant of God and an
apostle of Jesus Christ, to further the faith of God's
elect and their knowledge of the truth that leads to
Godliness in the hope of eternal life, which God, who
does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and
(25:59):
which now it is a point in season he has
brought to light through the preaching and trusted to me
by the command of God. Our savior. This, I mean,
this is immense this guy. What he's basically saying is
that I am doing something that was planned from the
beginning of time and he's entrusted me to preach it.
How much sense of like do you think that Paul
was like, Oh, man, look at that chick. No way,
(26:20):
He's been giving something that had that was planned from
before the foundations of the earth. And that was a
point for a very specific time. You talk about having
a sense of must and a sense of I have
to get up and keep going, man. Like, as much
as I would love to say that I have grasped
that perspective, I am like working to get at that perspective.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Because man, it's the power, the power of sense of purpose.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
I'm not Paul, but I am Garrett uncle Back, and
I know God has a great plan for my life.
And I don't know everything about that plan, but I
do know that there's work for me, right, And so
the more I focus on that, and that's the truth
is the truth for every single person listening to this podcast.
God is a great plan for your life. So run
after that and quit to run from things.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, for sure, and see yourself in the light of
the wave of the apostles. I mean it talks about
we have a cloud of witnesses that go before us, Like,
realize that when you read the Bible, you're reading your heritage,
like because you were chosen before the foundation of the world.
And so I hope that you grasp some of what
Paul hadn't Titus and start to connect yourself to that
larger purpose with God. It's not just about you making
enough money or having a better marriage or being a
(27:23):
little bit better person. God is into complete transformation, that
you would value what He values, that you would know
your son, and that you would see from an eternal
perspective and value like eternity in the way that you
operate day to day.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
It is.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
It is truly like a game changer whenever you have
that sort of time frame orientation Anjia, I want you
to do this next one because this is one that
I feel like you've you've waxed lyrical about it, and
I think you're way better And this is business focus.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Well, there's there's really two ways that you can look
at this. Let's look at it from like a career perspective. First,
in your career, you're going to get decisions, decisions about
how to advance, decisions about where to work, whether to
move positions, you know, where they're moved for a job,
stay in your job, all those things. And where I
see a lot of people miss it in this is
(28:09):
they start thinking about what do I need to do
to make an extra twenty k right? How to well,
maybe I should if I see this company over here
they're paying more, I'll go work there, or I'll go
over here and I have better opportunity at that business.
That's that's short term focus. The long term focus for
your career should be about where can I grow the most?
(28:32):
What's the business that has the most opportunity for me
to grow and develop myself? Where am I going to
be able tocome a manager? Where am I going to
develop my leadership skills? Where am I going to pick
up different skills that I didn't have before and expand
my experience I've been I've been hiring a bunch of
people this year, and what's really interesting is like the
people that have a lot of great value, they like,
(28:53):
their resume almost looks curated. They have so many different
developmental experiences. I learned this over here. I learned this
over here. I learned this over over here. And what's
funny is when I talk to these people. A lot
of these people are very high salary people, but when
I talk to them, the thing they're most interesting isn't
their salary. One of the questions that people like this
(29:14):
ask me all the time when I'm doing a comp
conversation with them is they want to make sure that
there's room for them to grow here in this business, Like, well,
this business is growing massively, so it's a great opportunity
for you. But they're not. They're less focused on the
salary and they're more focused on how to is this
a place that I'm going to get better at? And
if you operate that way, that's how you get to
two hundred three hundred four hundred thousand dollars a year
(29:36):
salaries if you're very career focused. But if you just
keep focusing on, like where where can I get a raise?
What's the annual raise percentage at this company, that's where
you're going to top out at one hundred and fifty
K salary because you never really developed and to someone
who had massive value and in the same way, same
way for a business. Businesses in the short term, they'll
(29:59):
really they'll start focusing and on you know how, we
got to get more contracts, we got to get more revenue.
And so you go out and you chase. And there's
not saying that that in itself is bad, but if
that's all you do, you will get to a place
where this is. I've seen many small to medium sized
businesses that are in this place where it's a very
leader driven business, and you get to a place where
(30:20):
the business can't grow anymore because the leaders maxed out.
People max out at some point, and then the business
is in this conundrum of well, now, I guess we
have to decide to grow the people in the business,
but the leaders don't have any time to do that
because they're at their max capacity. And so you've spent
all your time trying to harvest and you didn't spend
(30:41):
any time sowing seed. Again, this is short term, long
term focus. If you thought like, man, how do I
how does my business produce one hundred million dollars twenty
years from now? You would operate way differently than thinking like, oh,
well my business did two million this year, how do
I do fifteen million next year?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Right?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Because to go from two million this year to fifteen
million next year. You're going to say I got to
sell a bunch more. Yeah, but that process of going
from two this year to fifteen next year is not
the process that gets you to one hundred.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
For sure. I see this all the time, because you
know how you go from two million to fifteen million
g You start cutting prices on things. Well, you know
how much of this could we sell if we've just
marked it off by forty percent, you'd sell a ton.
And guess what you'd come back to me two three
years later when you're making all this money and be like,
our brand is in the tank. Yeah, you have no
brand value. Now. You were racically racing to the bottom
and now you're there. So and this happens all the time.
(31:36):
You're basically borrowing from the future, and unlike the US government,
you can't just keep printing money, so eventually the future
catches up to you. Now. I work with companies on
this literally every day. Yeah all right, very good gee.
And by the way, that what you said about how
do I make an extra twenty K I think is
like the basis for every first job I had, like
all throughout my twenties, is I was like, hey, this
one's going to pay more, and like, so next thing,
(31:58):
I'm working in accounting and oh now I'm working in
I'm a project manager for a Paystone company and that
like I literally just jumped down.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And then when you go to get the when you
go to get the job that's one hundred k plus,
they're like, we don't know what to do. You can't
you have no value here exactly. That's really a lot
of random things. Yeah, that's exactly right. All right, of
course this is the Impossible Podcast. We're very passionate about men. Uh,
and we're very passionate about marriage because that's God's first institution.
And so the short term focus on marriage is how
(32:27):
do I make this not suck? Aka, Like, how can
I make this easier? And this is Hey, here's the
thing about marriage. It's going to hurt. You're going to
have hard conversations. This is something I've had to coach
myself in. This is something I've worked with plenty of
other people on in their marriage, and I like working
with men on their marriage. It's my version of marriage
counseling is just to tell the man to suck it up.
(32:47):
And here's all the things that you need to do,
and if you weren't a ding dong, your wife would
follow you. So let's figure it out.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Where your marriage eating your door down for marriage counseling.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Hey, only if you want effective marriage counseling there. But
where marriage gets hard is where where you make marriage
harder is when you try to make it easy. Marriage
is not going to be easy marriages. I love the
way Pastor Keith says it's two deaths and one resurrection. Right,
you're gonna you're gonna get changed, You're going to get humbled.
You're going to have to look yourself in the mirror.
(33:19):
And if you make decisions in your marriage of like, well, oh,
how do I just make my wife happy in this moment?
Oh she's emotional. Let's just not deal with it. Oh
she doesn't want to hear what I have to say, Like,
I won't have the conversation. I'll just get over it.
I'll just well, well, it'll be fine. If you have
that mentality over and over again in your marriage. Ten
years from now, you have a crappy marriage.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
If you guys don't see eye to eye, you haven't developed,
You've got a lot of unspoken expectations. There's years of
bottled up you know, frustration and things that you've held
on to. Where marriage is great is when you like say,
you know what, this is going to be a really
painful evening. This is going to be a painful conversation.
This is going to be a hard season. But I'm
(34:00):
not going to back up from what I know the
standard of excellence is for our marriage and our relationship
because I love you so much and I know you
love me that we'll get through this. But it's going
to be a wrestling match. It's going to be a workout,
it's going to be a beatdown. But we're going to
do the hard things in our marriage so we can
have a great marriage one day, not have a fake
good marriage right now.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, And man, everything you said is so spot on.
I was thinking about in my own marriage whenever things
were not as good. What did I discover years down
the line, all the times that I had wanted to,
in our case, leave England because I was deeply depressed
and my wife didn't realize how bad it was. I
had developed resentment and unforgiveness towards her and it took
literally I think it was probably three four five years
after the fact that we'd already moved back, that I
(34:43):
finally realized it was there and I had to like
forgive my wife and we had to have that conversation.
But I didn't want to do it before because I
was just like, oh, well, you know, she's just going
to get upset like literally everything you said. And there's
so many people out there, whatever your scenario is, you're
avoiding that conversation for exactly that reason because you already
know how it's going to go and things aren't going
to change. You are literally just putting up the worst
(35:05):
kind of deposit in the bank, and the debt is
going to come do at some point.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And it's not reference to our Fear podcast where we
talk about fear and pain. Right, if you want to
have to be a great marriage, be someone who's like,
you know what, I'm okay if this hurts, which is
kind of the secret to being great at most things
in life.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Right, Oh there you go. All right, And since we
were thinking about pain, g the very last thing, of
course is health. And you know, a short term focus,
this might this might surprise you. We were talking about this,
the obvious thing would be the short term focus is
you just pound cookies and ice cream all the time.
But that's not that's not a short term time frame orientation.
Short term time frame yeah, it worked for Tim Allen
(35:43):
will work for me. But the short term focus is
about weight loss or just fixing a problem or pain, right,
which how many people are doing that. It's like, man,
I just got to lose this ten pounds or I've
got to lose x amount of weight and then oh hey,
I got to the finish line. Sweet And then you
see them like six eight months later, you're like, what happened?
Because they never actually had a larger time.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
They started out with the mindset of what do I
have to do that I can go back to being
it being easy again? How can I just get over this?
How can I Well, maybe if I starve myself for
six months, then I can go back to eating whatever
I want for sure. And it's it's the it's wrong
timeframe orientation, and it's the wrong objective. If you say, like,
(36:26):
how do I be healthy? You know, at the end
of my life, how do I if you if you
if you pursue easy in your life, you'll have a
hard death. These are the people who die slowly over months,
or years. I want to be Louis Zamporini running you know,
six minute mile in my nineties, and then one day
(36:47):
God just takes me in my sleep like live you know,
wasn't his wife had died. He's just living at his home.
He's doing his thing in his nineties, just he's just
a dude, still running six minute miles. And then one
day is like, all right, Louis, that's it, You're coming home.
Like that's that's how I want to live. And if
you if, if that's if you'll orient towards the end
(37:08):
of your life. And this is where people get great
fitness goals as well. By the way, right, not like
a hey, I want to lose this amount of pounds
in the next six months. But if you say, like
I want to walk my grandkids down the aisle, right,
or I want for we one of mine is I
want to teach my grandchildren how to drive a motorcycle.
Right to be able to do that, there's a lot
of stuff that goes with that. That's one of my
(37:28):
health and fitness goals. I've got to have the mental clarity.
I got to be someone who's not so fragile that
like I can't even ride a motorcycle, or falling off
a motorcycle would kill me. Like, there's a lot that
goes with that, And so I'm oriented towards the long
term in my life instead of in the short term.
And that's what's going to help me live way better
health goals and make different health decisions.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah for sure. Now I've got to call a little
fact check here. Gee, you will one hundred percent ride
that motorcycle, and it's a good thing that you're protecting
yourself to fall off because you'll probably still be Hey,
I wonder if we could jump it off this Now
you run six minute mile? Come on now like that?
That that might be the part that was maybe slightly embellished.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I said, I said, that's Louis Zamporini. I didn't say
I said I want to be like that. I wasn't
saying I run a want to run a six minute mile,
saying I want to die like Louis Zamporini. I don't
think I'm an Olympic quality running.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Okay, I just want to. I just wanted to. I
just wanted to just check the fact check that one
for a second, because I was like, I don't think
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
That right now, I am going to still be evil
and evil at one hundred.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I believe that wholeheardly all right? Gee, So I hope
that this has opened up some eyes for everybody and
that you've seen what we were talking about with time
frame orientation, Like in all these areas, anytime you're making
a decision, I think the simple question is am I
making this for now? Or am I making this for eternity.
It's a very simple question that will like weigh up
the purpose for what you're doing in higher a living.
(38:49):
Look at all those areas, look at your marriage, look
at your parenting, look at your relationship with God, with
your business, with your health, and ask yourself the question
what time frame am I on? If you're on five
and two, if you're on thirty, stop it, move yourself
to eternity. Understand that God has bigger plans. You want
to be the man that puts his hand to the plow,
keeps looking straight ahead and goes in the same direction
as whole life.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Thank you very much for listening.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Guys, remember to share, like subscribe.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
If you think that this.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Would be something that someone would enjoy, please send it
to him. We appreciate it all. If you want to
get in touch, you can follow us on Instagram at
the Impossible Life. You'll find us on there. You can
also email at Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
If you have any questions.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
If you want to get in touch and find out
about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's the way to
do it. Thank you again for listening. Go out there
and think better and live the impossible.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
You see you again sooner.
That's impossible.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let me tell you what I believe. It's your weakness,
it's not your technique. Don't think you know.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
(00:46):
you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
to take a risk. The real truth is this. The
solution to any impossible task starts with this question, If
I had to what would it take?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
What would it take?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across at
a man who recently became the first man to have
his brain connected directly to the Internet. That's right, friends, Garrett,
Uncle Buck, a man who didn't just crash chat GPT.
He made the entire internet ask for a mental health day.
(01:30):
Shout out to cloud Flair.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I'm not chat GPT, I'm Garrett GPT as you.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Like you really are, you really are? Well. There was
a lot of there was we're recording this a couple
of days before it releases, and there was a cloud
flare outage today that caused a lot of problems, including
chat shept to go down, which you know, shocker. There
was not as much content on LinkedIn that day either,
you know, weird because everybody's got the old.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Sorry that you don't have your own, you know, built
into your brain. It's too bad for you.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The Lord's language model, you were the original LLM boom,
we do.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
That all right, Well the Bibles the original LLM.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
That's true, that is true. Yeah, well done, sorry Lord. Anyways,
So today is Tools and Tactics, which is if you're
new to the podcast, which I know we're getting new
listeners all the time and we're very grateful for you guys.
We do like a deep dive on all sorts of
things on our earlier in the week release and then
these ones are meant to be more tools and tactics,
(02:32):
which is like, just do this. Like these types of episodes,
we're going to just give you something. It's shorter and
it's punchier, and we will tackle various how to's and
all that sort of stuff. Well, today we're going to
revisit one of our favorite topics, which was from episode
fifty one, time Frame Orientation, which is the only time we.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Have We have many listeners and friends who have told
us this is one of their favorite episodes, and it's
personally one of my favorite episodes.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
It was a game changer for me when we did it,
and it's something that It's funny because when we were
planning this episode, I kind of had to like rewind
myself to the thought process because it's something I use
all the time anyways. So we're gonna we're gonna explain.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
The concept you have to go back to when you
didn't know this, which is starting to feel like a
long time ago for you.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Oh man, you know what that's actually that's actually a
real positive thing. Man. I'm grateful to be able to
say that. But yeah, so I'm gonna we're gonna explain
what this is. We're and just kind of catch you
guys up real quick. But the real focus is to
dive into five areas where you are. It's very likely
that you're living in short term time frame orientation on
(03:35):
some of these areas, if not all of them. Or
we've all experienced the short term time frame orientation, and
we're gonna show you what long term time frame orientation
looks like. So we're gonna dive into that. So I
heard Tony Robbins say once, g and I think when
you say like time frame orientation for your life, it's,
first of all, it's not something that you really think
about often to say time frame orientation, that's not like
a common term. I think people think about the timeline
(03:56):
of their life. And I heard the guy that I love,
Tony Robbins, that he's like, everybody has a blueprint for
their life, and if you're ahead of your blueprint print,
you're happy, and if you're behind your blueprint, you're said
or and frustrated. And I think that that's true, and
so a lot of people will be like, yeah, yeah,
I totally get that, but time frame orientation is not
that like, yes, you do have a blueprint that you
developed them somewhere else where you think you should have
(04:16):
a marriage by thirty and kids by thirty three and
certain amount of money. That's one thing. But time frame
orientation is way different than that. Man.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Time frame orient time frame orientation will change your blueprint, right,
very good? Okay, So what is time frame orientation? Okay,
let's break it down really quick. Time frame is a
period of time, but a time frame and time frame
is a day, a week, a year, your life, a season.
All of these are all time frames, okay. And what
is orientation? Orientation is implot That means there's two positions,
(04:48):
and how is one position aligned to the next position? Okay,
So when we put these two things together, time frame
orientation is on what time frame are you determining your life? Right?
On what timeframe are you orienting your life? Or on
what timeframe? On what period of time are you making
a set of decisions about where you're going? Okay, that's
(05:09):
what time frame orientation is a lot of people. One
of the tools we've taught on this podcast is zoom
in zoom out.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
You've got to look at things in a short term lens,
and you've also got to look at things in a
long term lens. And this is there's lessons all throughout
history on the failures of improper time frame orientation. Corporations
do it all the time. You see this in business
where businesses begin to overly focus and you could do
a macro study on capitalism over the last fifty years,
(05:39):
where there has been an over focus on share it's
what's called a shareholder society. There's been an over focus
on the quarterly performance. How do I make the stock
perform for the quarterly share price? And that sounds good
for a moment, but when you perform for the quarter
for a decade in a row, that's how your business
ends up in the wrong market. That's how your business
(06:01):
ends up with terrible product. That's how your business ends
up overleveraged and underperforming because you did not set a
course far enough out for something that was going to
turn into a great harvest for you. And so that's
an example in corporations. But people do this in their
life all the time. They make a decision for their
life based upon what's going to work good for next year,
(06:22):
what's going to make me feel good in the moment,
what's going to make my life easier in the next
few years, Where really what the reason we talk about
time frame orientation, I'll just cut right to the chase here.
The reason we talk about time frame orientation and teach
it is because what we want for everybody is that
they would orient their life. This is what the way
Jesus talked about it is all the way into eternity.
(06:44):
And we'll come back to that here in a minute.
But you've got to live your life on a longer
time frame orientation because what this allows you to do
is allows you to stay focused, It allows you to
be patient, allows you to be consistent. We've said this
before and it it's one of the things that I
say that Nick really likes. Is the thing that I'll
get you most off course. The easiest off course in
your life is a tailwind. A lot of people take
(07:06):
a few steps in one hundred different directions or a
thousand different directions, and really what you need to do,
this is advice that I give to every young person,
is pick one direction and go go as hard as
you can five at eighteen years old. I don't care
what you do. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter
what you do other than don't do something immoral. But
it doesn't matter what you do just go spend five
(07:28):
years becoming great at that thing, because for oftentimes, for
eighteen nineteen twenty year olds, they try a bunch of
things for one month at the time, like, oh I
did like that, Well you didn't like it because you
weren't good at it. So anyways, the point of time
frame orientation is what time frame, what period of time
are you deciding what your life should be on. And
the truth is that you should set your sights on eternity,
(07:50):
and you should set your sights on what you want
your life to feel like and become at the end,
because if you don't, if you don't do that, you'll
be like to come as a set in his poem,
get to the end of your life and beg for
a little more time, weeping and praying, wishing you could
do it over again.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, man, I never want to be there. I feel
like we could just end the episode right now, because
it's like, if that doesn't get you fired up and
thinking about things from a different time frame orientation.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
If you think about every dumb decision that you ever made, right,
maybe you don't understand the concept yet, or maybe for
some of you it's already clicking, but you know, take
this thought and if you don't get it yet, think
about it at the end of the episode. But if
you take every dumb decision that you ever made, it
was a short term time frame orientation decision.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, hey, that fourth shot of tequila sound like a
great idea at the time, because you know, that's what
I was.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Looking for, was whether it's the obvious dumb things, you know, tequila, porn, whatever,
it is, obvious dumb things. Those are short term time
frame orientation decisions. But also you could look at some
of the other maybe more complicated but still dumb decisions
that you made. Those are you know, porn and tequila.
Those are obvious dumb decisions. But maybe look at some
of the more complicated visions that you made, and I
(09:01):
would bet that many of them are short term timeframe
orientation decisions.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I feel like you were looking directly at me when
you said that, Like, not just because we're co hosts,
so maybe we can take this up offline. That was
a little bit you had a different look in your
eye there, all right, So just I hope you guys
are grasping this now. Now here's what we said, and
it's most people's time frame orientation is five and two, right, Like,
this is everybody's working for the week and like you
(09:28):
know the song, the cool song, pull out that guitar
behind you, Well maybe I will. Gee, you know, we
got a few extra singers on her end as well.
But like you know, you work for five days so
that you can have two days at the weekend to
do whatever you want. This is like the fault and
like most people don't think beyond that. They're just kind
of like, you know, like I think about my kids,
(09:49):
like how many how many more days to the weekend? Right?
And that's like you get trained in that at a
young age and then next thing you know, you've got
a job and you're having that same mentality. And this
is how a lot of people live. A lot of
people will never zoom past five and two, except for
maybe the odd they'll think a month at a time
around things like a mortgage or a car payment, and
that's about as far out as they get. I think.
To get somebody to think, I mean, there's that quote
(10:10):
that we love from Bill Gates says most people overestimate
what they can do in a year and underestimate what
they can do in ten and that's an example of
people really struggling with this broader time frame orientation. But
here's a little thing for you to note. We've used
some examples. I've talked about my kids. There's a reason
your time frame orientation gets longer as you get older,
Like this is something that you grasp more and more.
(10:30):
If you think about a lot of the dumb decisions
that Garrett referenced. I'm hoping it was when you were
much younger and not as you've gotten older. Although if
it is, you know, praise God for repentance and restoration.
But it's you know, it's one of these things that
you don't really understand. Like for me to talk about
my kids, hey, what do you want to be when
you're thirty? Right now, it is like trying to speak
to them in a language that hasn't been invented yet.
(10:51):
It's too hard for the grasp. So just know that
as you continue to mature and develop, you're going to
be able to see more of the picture, and your
time frame is gonna is in the linth and out
at least it should so that you can't truly start
to look for eternity. So g you said the key
scripture for this was Luke nine sixty two, and.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
This was Jesus. This is this is this is what
I was referencing earlier, and this is you know, this
isn't something I'm made up. Okay, time frame time frame
orientation comes from the Bible. It is a success principle
from the Bible. I'll explain that here in a second.
But Luke, chapter nine, verse sixty two. I love this verse.
This is one of those challenging verses where you read
it and you're like, hold on a second, what does
that mean? What is he because it's a statement that
(11:29):
at surface value, it's like, well, that seems mean or
that seems unfair, that seems extremely challenging, and so you
have to dive into it for what it means. Luke,
chapter nine, verse sixty two. Jesus replied, no one who
puts a hand to the plow and looks back is
fit for service in the Kingdom of Heaven. Right, And
so there's a there's a couple of takeaways from this.
(11:50):
The primary meaning in this scripture is saying people who
set out to you know, you get introduced to Christ,
you set out to serve Christ, and say, this is
what you want, but then you start looking back. And
this is a reference to Israel in Egypt by the
way you start looking back and wishing for your old
sinful ways. Israel was two weeks into the desert and
(12:12):
out of Egypt before they started whining and complaining and saying, Man,
Egypt was nice. We had a warm bed there, we
had a hot meal. Right, he's saying, you've got to
decide that you're going to follow me and you're not
going to look back. It's primary meaning in the scripture,
but it's also a reference to how agriculture happened back then. Okay,
if you understand how agriculture happened back then, they didn't
(12:34):
have tractors. They had a cow or a horse or
an ox that would pull a plow. And what a
farmer would do is just imagine a rectangular field, and
on one side of the field where he's going to
start from, he's got a bunch of steaks in the ground.
That's where he's going to start the plow from. And
on the opposite the end of the field he has
(12:55):
matching stakes. And so he's going to stand behind a
steak and look at the steak all the way on
the other end of the field, and as he drives
the oxen forward, he's not looking in front of the oxen,
not trying to dodge little rocks or just looking shortly
in front of him, but he's looking all the way
at the other end of the field, at the stake
at the other end, And if he looks at that,
(13:17):
then him when he gets to the end, he'll have
driven a straight line. Right. There's also there's multiple ways
to practice this. Pull out a piece of paper and
don't if you look in front of the pin and
try to draw a straight line, you'll draw a terrible line.
If if you get out a piece of paper on
a pin, put your pin on the paper and look
(13:38):
at a point at the end of the paper, and
just keep looking there and drive the pin to that point,
you'll drive a really straight line. But if you look
down at the pin while you're trying to go towards
that spot on the other end of the paper, out
of your peripheral, you'll drive a really squiggly line. So
I mean when you if you go slack lining, if
(13:59):
you ever stood on a slack line before, like a tightrope,
they don't look down at their feet. They look at
the end of the line. They look where they're going.
So this is a success principle that if you want
greater outcomes, if you want a better harvest, if if
you want to actually get to the destination right where
you want to go, you've got to look all the
way to the end. And so this scripture Jesus is saying, hey,
(14:22):
look all the way to the end, look into eternity. Right,
But this is a success principle. Everything we do in
this podcast, I'm going to drive you towards eternal perspective.
I'm going to drive you towards kingdom perspective. But you
can also take this principle. What do principles do? They
govern outcomes? Okay, make everything in your life about kingdom.
(14:42):
But also if you want to just succeed in your business,
don't just operate for the quarter. Operate on a ten
year plan, Operate on a twenty year plan, operate on
a fifty year plan. How are you going to turn
this business down to your grandchildren? And if you start
to think that way, you'll operate very differently. I've done
goal setting with people many times, and I talk about
(15:05):
it from a very I call it something different than
goal setting, and I talk about it from a different way,
but that's the term that most people are familiar with,
and a lot of people they'll set goals like, oh,
I want to, you know, improve my salary by ten
percent this year. I want to say, fifteen thousand dollars.
I want to pay off this credit card that costs
twenty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Set some set some nice goal, and there's nothing wrong
with those things. But if you do, if you do
a goal like that ten years in a row, you
won't be satisfied with where you are in ten years.
Ten years from now, you'll look back. I'm like, man,
I should have come further than this, because ten years
ago you should have set a ten year plan. And
if you've set a ten year plan for something, this
(15:43):
is real. This is anything that you're going to do
over ten years. You'll probably spend the first five to
seven years really preparing and developing to get a lot
of the progress that would happen over ten years. In
year eight, nine, and ten, this is just how things
grow and how things develop. So again, this is success principle.
If you don't orient in your life on a longer timeframe,
(16:05):
you're going to get to the end and be really disappointed.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, what I love about this ge. I've often found
that when you hear true wisdom, it's always like, oh,
of course, and this can sound so overly simple. It's like, hey,
don't just think about the moment, like zoom out on
your life and have a long time frame. It's like, oh, okay, yeah, great, check.
But we fall into this in so many places, and
I wanted we're going to dive into five very specific
examples where I think a lot of people are like, oh, shoot,
(16:32):
by the way, what Garrett just mentioned about having ten
year vision and setting goals. If you ever wish that
you could have Garrett help you set goals, stay tuned
because we're going to be releasing the Purpose playbooks soon
and that's exactly what it's going to do. It's going
to help you understand purpose, vision, priorities, core values, and
making real process based goals that you will crush that
will lead to the greatest life possible. So I'm amped.
(16:54):
I've been had my head in this thing for the
past month and I can't wait for people to get
their hands on it, becase it's going to be do
or do not.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I am not a beggar either hurts once in a
marketing anyway. Either if you want to have the best
life ever or you just want to stay the same,
that's up to you.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
That's up to you. I'm guess if you're listening to
this podcast, you don't want to stay the same, and
I'm glad that you are. Man Like, I got to say, Gee,
we're getting so many messages by just side note before
we dive in, for all you guys that are messaging us,
thank you, Like it never gets old, it's always encouraging.
We have people emailing us dms on social media, however
they get hold. It's just I love talking to people.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
We're not able to respond to every message, which is
which is really hard for us, but we read every message.
We try to respond to as many of you guys
as we can, and we're super grateful for you guys,
one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, So thank you guys. It's just amazing to see
what God's doing. All right, So let's go into five examples. Gee,
where you have We're going to show you the short term,
the long term, and the how is going to be
up to you, but we're going to give you some examples.
So short term time frame orientation number one and this
one is a plague in our country is in parenting.
And here's short term time frame orientation. Here's just how
(18:00):
an iPad. Let's just make it easy. What's that you want?
You want to just be entertained all day with you know,
YouTube and get your attention span of a goldfish. Here
you go, and man, it's peaceful. Now I can go
do what I want.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And it's that's the iPad deal is one of those
things that absolutely triggers people. And so like some people,
you know, when you trigger people, here's what they do.
They make they'll they'll give you their reasons.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And I'm not going to sit here and talk about
iPads like it's you know, like you're sending your kids
to hell.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
No.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
But I'm also not going to play with it and
baby people and say like, oh, it's not a big deal.
It actually is a big deal. Some you know, maybe
you use them tactically or for specific reasons or whatever.
That's fine. I'm not I'm not here to talk about
like the science on the iPads or whatever. But what
we can all very clearly agree on is that if
I put my kid on an iPad all day, every day.
(18:50):
It'll be really good for me and really bad for them.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, one hundred percent. I mean I I have my
kids have iPads, and we definitely have very clear standards
around them.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And it's one you've done, and you've done seasons where
it's like for two months, it's like, hey, guys, you
know we're killing iPads for a while.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, we did it. We last year we did no
iPad November and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Your kids are Your kids are older too, which is different.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
They are, but you know, iPads have been around their
whole life. I mean, it's been It's something that we've
definitely laid looked at and we've I've paid a lot
of attention. I'll just put it that way. And what
I'll say is, you know, whenever you're saying, when you're
pressing the easy button, and that's what we mean. Short
term timeframe orientation is how do I just get this
to be comfortable? How do I make this go away?
Long term time frame orientation is how do I help
(19:33):
develop them into who God made them to be? What
lesson do they need to learn right now? And that
is such a different way of dealing with things, because
if you're I'll just give an example for my own life.
My oldest daughter's twelve, and I started to notice some
things in her where I felt like she did not
have the mental toughness that I'm trying to develop in
her as a follower of Judus and as a member
(19:54):
of my family. And so when she turned twelve years old,
I said to her, Hey, before you turn thirteen, you're
going to walk thirteen. And I told her, I said,
you can pick the time, we're going to do it together.
I said, you can walk it, run it, crawl it, whatever,
but you can't stop. We're gonna go. We're gonna do thirteen.
So this past Saturday was the day, and dude, I
can just tell you, man, we had so many amazing
takeaways on purpose, on understanding your why, on what you
(20:18):
focus on, positive attitude, Like it was a perspective shift
for her. There were so many things that like you
might be going like why would you make a twelve
year old go thirteen miles like I was texting with somebody,
or like they're in their forties, or like I've never
even done thirteen miles, and so like why would you
do that? Well, because I know what I'm trying to
develop my daughter to be. I'm trying to develop her
to be somebody who's strong, who can do hard things,
(20:40):
who understands the power of focus and understands how to
direct her mind. Well, how else am I going to
do that? If I'm constantly like going like taking the
easy way of Oh, man, she's starting to like throw
a tantrum or whatever, and she's you know, I feel
like there's some entitlement creep and in how do I
make it go away?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Here?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Just have an iPad because I don't want to deal
with this right now. Dad's how a long day at work?
I'm not doing my job, man, And so like in
those moments, and it always happens when you're tired that
your kids having an emotional breakdown or having some sort
of mood swing. Those are the moments whenever it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna step in with my equanimity. I'm gonna think
about the pattern and I'm gonna I'm gonna look at
what my daughter needs to learn from this. Most of
the time, her focus is on something she doesn't have. Okay,
(21:17):
I'm not gonna start talking to her about like you know,
some massive thing. I'm just gonna say, can I get
her out of the hole. Hey, okay, you're focusing on this.
Let's shift your focus. Now that you're out of the
out of the hole and you're no longer like in tears,
Let's talk about how we got there. Let's talk about
how to see some of the signs and patterns that
trigger you to going into that. And it all usually
starts with focusing on what you don't have, right and
a lack of gratitude, and so like I'm just sharing
(21:39):
from my very practical, like everyday life because I've got twelve, ten,
and six year old at this point, So we get
to do all these things that I know are like
seeds that we're gonna sew for the long term. I
don't know if you have anything you want add to that.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Now, it's just it's not about the iPad, right, right,
It's not about the iPad. It's about short and again
the whole point of this episode today, we're bringing time
frame moreation back. It's been a long it's been two
hundred episodes basically since we talked about it, so we're
bringing it back to talk about it some more telling
you why it's so important. I feel like that's already
clear at this point. And then the tools and tactics
(22:13):
part of this episode today is, hey, here's some great
if you're new to time frame orientation, here's some specific
areas where you really need to get this landed in
your life. Okay, and so and your parenting. Don't make
it about the short term. Your goal is not to
be Your goal is not to be your parent, your
kid's friend. My parents talked about all the time. If
you'll be your your kid's parent when they're kids, you'll
(22:35):
get to be their friend when they're adults. You get
if you try to be their friends when they're kids,
you won't have relationship with them when they're adults.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, so good, all right. Next place is a key one.
It's your relationship with God. And this is a really
interesting one as we tackle this gecause short term time
frame orientation is performance and sin focused, and that one
might sting some people because I think I think for
a lot of us, it's very much like, man, if
I could just get through this day without sinning, that
would be amazing. And we actually did a longer podcast
(23:06):
on this recently about how the purpose of your life
is not to not sin. It's to fulfill the you know,
the plans and purposes that God's made you for. It
was a much greater push.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And by the way, if, if, if all you think
about is how to not sin, you're way more likely
to sin. Yeah, right, if if it's where And I
want to say I want to say this lightly. It's
been my frustration with I've been around groups that focus
on like overcoming porn, and I feel like porn is
(23:38):
just still the focus of the conversation. Right, right, The
focus should be right. It's not about well, how do
I not do this thing? How do I how do
I not be fat? How do I not look at porn?
How do I not struggle with lust? How do I
not fall to my flesh? Over and over again? It's
still a focus on the wrong thing. The long term
(23:58):
timeframe orientation is know, hey, I want to have a
great marriage, I want to be healthy, I want to
advance the Kingdom of God. And you get more focused,
you get focused on something that's more important than idleness, right,
because you fall into all those things out of an idleness,
out of a lack of focus. When you're super focused,
you don't have time for the like, there's no room
(24:18):
for distractions and temptation. Temptation falls on us when we're
out of alignment. Temptation falls on us when we don't
have the greater focus. So in our relationship with like,
God doesn't want us to sin, but that's what he
wants for us. Isn't to just not sin. That's not
the goal, and so if you miss, if you miss
the goal, you're going to continue to fall into some
(24:38):
of the same traps over and over again. What God
wants for us is to mature, to grow, to become
everything that He's called us to be. And so if
I focus on that, you know what, that also allows
me to do not have shame in my life, because
when I do fall down, I'm like, I was dumb. Well,
got to get back. I'm so busy. I got so
much stuff to do. God is a great plan for
my life. Don't don't. I'm gonna just kind of run
(25:00):
heart because I won't have time to do that stupid
stuff again. Yeah, but when you have shame, you sit
down and he's like, oh man, why did I do that?
I don't even know, Like it's just so hard to
follow God. It's so hard to not send your focused
on the wrong things. Your orientation is improper.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, whereas long term time frame orientation is to identify
with Christ and think about advancing the kingdom. It's being
a son and having the eternal perspective. I mean, you
talked about how as much as possible you want to
connect people to eternal perspective. I want to share this
because I think that this is just when I read
this and it recently, and it just smacked me. And
I always refer to, as says Titus one one through three,
(25:37):
Paul will introduce himself in these letters, the apostle Paul,
and I want you you want to talk about a
guy who had a long term time frame orientation of eternity.
Listen to this Paul, a servant of God and an
apostle of Jesus Christ, to further the faith of God's
elect and their knowledge of the truth that leads to
Godliness in the hope of eternal life, which God, who
does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and
(25:59):
which now it is a point in season he has
brought to light through the preaching and trusted to me
by the command of God. Our savior. This, I mean,
this is immense this guy. What he's basically saying is
that I am doing something that was planned from the
beginning of time and he's entrusted me to preach it.
How much sense of like do you think that Paul
was like, Oh, man, look at that chick. No way,
(26:20):
He's been giving something that had that was planned from
before the foundations of the earth. And that was a
point for a very specific time. You talk about having
a sense of must and a sense of I have
to get up and keep going, man. Like, as much
as I would love to say that I have grasped
that perspective, I am like working to get at that perspective.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Because man, it's the power, the power of sense of purpose.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Right.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
I'm not Paul, but I am Garrett uncle Back, and
I know God has a great plan for my life.
And I don't know everything about that plan, but I
do know that there's work for me, right, And so
the more I focus on that, and that's the truth
is the truth for every single person listening to this podcast.
God is a great plan for your life. So run
after that and quit to run from things.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, for sure, and see yourself in the light of
the wave of the apostles. I mean it talks about
we have a cloud of witnesses that go before us, Like,
realize that when you read the Bible, you're reading your heritage,
like because you were chosen before the foundation of the world.
And so I hope that you grasp some of what
Paul hadn't Titus and start to connect yourself to that
larger purpose with God. It's not just about you making
enough money or having a better marriage or being a
(27:23):
little bit better person. God is into complete transformation, that
you would value what He values, that you would know
your son, and that you would see from an eternal
perspective and value like eternity in the way that you
operate day to day.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
It is.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
It is truly like a game changer whenever you have
that sort of time frame orientation Anjia, I want you
to do this next one because this is one that
I feel like you've you've waxed lyrical about it, and
I think you're way better And this is business focus.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Well, there's there's really two ways that you can look
at this. Let's look at it from like a career perspective. First,
in your career, you're going to get decisions, decisions about
how to advance, decisions about where to work, whether to
move positions, you know, where they're moved for a job,
stay in your job, all those things. And where I
see a lot of people miss it in this is
(28:09):
they start thinking about what do I need to do
to make an extra twenty k right? How to well,
maybe I should if I see this company over here
they're paying more, I'll go work there, or I'll go
over here and I have better opportunity at that business.
That's that's short term focus. The long term focus for
your career should be about where can I grow the most?
(28:32):
What's the business that has the most opportunity for me
to grow and develop myself? Where am I going to
be able tocome a manager? Where am I going to
develop my leadership skills? Where am I going to pick
up different skills that I didn't have before and expand
my experience I've been I've been hiring a bunch of
people this year, and what's really interesting is like the
people that have a lot of great value, they like,
(28:53):
their resume almost looks curated. They have so many different
developmental experiences. I learned this over here. I learned this
over here. I learned this over over here. And what's
funny is when I talk to these people. A lot
of these people are very high salary people, but when
I talk to them, the thing they're most interesting isn't
their salary. One of the questions that people like this
(29:14):
ask me all the time when I'm doing a comp
conversation with them is they want to make sure that
there's room for them to grow here in this business, Like, well,
this business is growing massively, so it's a great opportunity
for you. But they're not. They're less focused on the
salary and they're more focused on how to is this
a place that I'm going to get better at? And
if you operate that way, that's how you get to
two hundred three hundred four hundred thousand dollars a year
(29:36):
salaries if you're very career focused. But if you just
keep focusing on, like where where can I get a raise?
What's the annual raise percentage at this company, that's where
you're going to top out at one hundred and fifty
K salary because you never really developed and to someone
who had massive value and in the same way, same
way for a business. Businesses in the short term, they'll
(29:59):
really they'll start focusing and on you know how, we
got to get more contracts, we got to get more revenue.
And so you go out and you chase. And there's
not saying that that in itself is bad, but if
that's all you do, you will get to a place
where this is. I've seen many small to medium sized
businesses that are in this place where it's a very
leader driven business, and you get to a place where
(30:20):
the business can't grow anymore because the leaders maxed out.
People max out at some point, and then the business
is in this conundrum of well, now, I guess we
have to decide to grow the people in the business,
but the leaders don't have any time to do that
because they're at their max capacity. And so you've spent
all your time trying to harvest and you didn't spend
(30:41):
any time sowing seed. Again, this is short term, long
term focus. If you thought like, man, how do I
how does my business produce one hundred million dollars twenty
years from now? You would operate way differently than thinking like, oh,
well my business did two million this year, how do
I do fifteen million next year?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Right?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Because to go from two million this year to fifteen
million next year. You're going to say I got to
sell a bunch more. Yeah, but that process of going
from two this year to fifteen next year is not
the process that gets you to one hundred.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
For sure. I see this all the time, because you
know how you go from two million to fifteen million
g You start cutting prices on things. Well, you know
how much of this could we sell if we've just
marked it off by forty percent, you'd sell a ton.
And guess what you'd come back to me two three
years later when you're making all this money and be like,
our brand is in the tank. Yeah, you have no
brand value. Now. You were racically racing to the bottom
and now you're there. So and this happens all the time.
(31:36):
You're basically borrowing from the future, and unlike the US government,
you can't just keep printing money, so eventually the future
catches up to you. Now. I work with companies on
this literally every day. Yeah all right, very good gee.
And by the way, that what you said about how
do I make an extra twenty K I think is
like the basis for every first job I had, like
all throughout my twenties, is I was like, hey, this
one's going to pay more, and like, so next thing,
(31:58):
I'm working in accounting and oh now I'm working in
I'm a project manager for a Paystone company and that
like I literally just jumped down.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And then when you go to get the when you
go to get the job that's one hundred k plus,
they're like, we don't know what to do. You can't
you have no value here exactly. That's really a lot
of random things. Yeah, that's exactly right. All right, of
course this is the Impossible Podcast. We're very passionate about men. Uh,
and we're very passionate about marriage because that's God's first institution.
And so the short term focus on marriage is how
(32:27):
do I make this not suck? Aka, Like, how can
I make this easier? And this is Hey, here's the
thing about marriage. It's going to hurt. You're going to
have hard conversations. This is something I've had to coach
myself in. This is something I've worked with plenty of
other people on in their marriage, and I like working
with men on their marriage. It's my version of marriage
counseling is just to tell the man to suck it up.
(32:47):
And here's all the things that you need to do,
and if you weren't a ding dong, your wife would
follow you. So let's figure it out.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Where your marriage eating your door down for marriage counseling.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Hey, only if you want effective marriage counseling there. But
where marriage gets hard is where where you make marriage
harder is when you try to make it easy. Marriage
is not going to be easy marriages. I love the
way Pastor Keith says it's two deaths and one resurrection. Right,
you're gonna you're gonna get changed, You're going to get humbled.
You're going to have to look yourself in the mirror.
(33:19):
And if you make decisions in your marriage of like, well, oh,
how do I just make my wife happy in this moment?
Oh she's emotional. Let's just not deal with it. Oh
she doesn't want to hear what I have to say, Like,
I won't have the conversation. I'll just get over it.
I'll just well, well, it'll be fine. If you have
that mentality over and over again in your marriage. Ten
years from now, you have a crappy marriage.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
If you guys don't see eye to eye, you haven't developed,
You've got a lot of unspoken expectations. There's years of
bottled up you know, frustration and things that you've held
on to. Where marriage is great is when you like say,
you know what, this is going to be a really
painful evening. This is going to be a painful conversation.
This is going to be a hard season. But I'm
(34:00):
not going to back up from what I know the
standard of excellence is for our marriage and our relationship
because I love you so much and I know you
love me that we'll get through this. But it's going
to be a wrestling match. It's going to be a workout,
it's going to be a beatdown. But we're going to
do the hard things in our marriage so we can
have a great marriage one day, not have a fake
good marriage right now.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Yeah, And man, everything you said is so spot on.
I was thinking about in my own marriage whenever things
were not as good. What did I discover years down
the line, all the times that I had wanted to,
in our case, leave England because I was deeply depressed
and my wife didn't realize how bad it was. I
had developed resentment and unforgiveness towards her and it took
literally I think it was probably three four five years
after the fact that we'd already moved back, that I
(34:43):
finally realized it was there and I had to like
forgive my wife and we had to have that conversation.
But I didn't want to do it before because I
was just like, oh, well, you know, she's just going
to get upset like literally everything you said. And there's
so many people out there, whatever your scenario is, you're
avoiding that conversation for exactly that reason because you already
know how it's going to go and things aren't going
to change. You are literally just putting up the worst
(35:05):
kind of deposit in the bank, and the debt is
going to come do at some point.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And it's not reference to our Fear podcast where we
talk about fear and pain. Right, if you want to
have to be a great marriage, be someone who's like,
you know what, I'm okay if this hurts, which is
kind of the secret to being great at most things
in life.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Right, Oh there you go. All right, And since we
were thinking about pain, g the very last thing, of
course is health. And you know, a short term focus,
this might this might surprise you. We were talking about this,
the obvious thing would be the short term focus is
you just pound cookies and ice cream all the time.
But that's not that's not a short term time frame orientation.
Short term time frame yeah, it worked for Tim Allen
(35:43):
will work for me. But the short term focus is
about weight loss or just fixing a problem or pain, right,
which how many people are doing that. It's like, man,
I just got to lose this ten pounds or I've
got to lose x amount of weight and then oh hey,
I got to the finish line. Sweet And then you
see them like six eight months later, you're like, what happened?
Because they never actually had a larger time.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
They started out with the mindset of what do I
have to do that I can go back to being
it being easy again? How can I just get over this?
How can I Well, maybe if I starve myself for
six months, then I can go back to eating whatever
I want for sure. And it's it's the it's wrong
timeframe orientation, and it's the wrong objective. If you say, like,
(36:26):
how do I be healthy? You know, at the end
of my life, how do I if you if you
if you pursue easy in your life, you'll have a
hard death. These are the people who die slowly over months,
or years. I want to be Louis Zamporini running you know,
six minute mile in my nineties, and then one day
(36:47):
God just takes me in my sleep like live you know,
wasn't his wife had died. He's just living at his home.
He's doing his thing in his nineties, just he's just
a dude, still running six minute miles. And then one
day is like, all right, Louis, that's it, You're coming home.
Like that's that's how I want to live. And if
you if, if that's if you'll orient towards the end
(37:08):
of your life. And this is where people get great
fitness goals as well. By the way, right, not like
a hey, I want to lose this amount of pounds
in the next six months. But if you say, like
I want to walk my grandkids down the aisle, right,
or I want for we one of mine is I
want to teach my grandchildren how to drive a motorcycle.
Right to be able to do that, there's a lot
of stuff that goes with that. That's one of my
(37:28):
health and fitness goals. I've got to have the mental clarity.
I got to be someone who's not so fragile that
like I can't even ride a motorcycle, or falling off
a motorcycle would kill me. Like, there's a lot that
goes with that, And so I'm oriented towards the long
term in my life instead of in the short term.
And that's what's going to help me live way better
health goals and make different health decisions.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah for sure. Now I've got to call a little
fact check here. Gee, you will one hundred percent ride
that motorcycle, and it's a good thing that you're protecting
yourself to fall off because you'll probably still be Hey,
I wonder if we could jump it off this Now
you run six minute mile? Come on now like that?
That that might be the part that was maybe slightly embellished.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I said, I said, that's Louis Zamporini. I didn't say
I said I want to be like that. I wasn't
saying I run a want to run a six minute mile,
saying I want to die like Louis Zamporini. I don't
think I'm an Olympic quality running.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Okay, I just want to. I just wanted to. I
just wanted to just check the fact check that one
for a second, because I was like, I don't think
you're doing.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
That right now, I am going to still be evil
and evil at one hundred.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I believe that wholeheardly all right? Gee, So I hope
that this has opened up some eyes for everybody and
that you've seen what we were talking about with time
frame orientation, Like in all these areas, anytime you're making
a decision, I think the simple question is am I
making this for now? Or am I making this for eternity.
It's a very simple question that will like weigh up
the purpose for what you're doing in higher a living.
(38:49):
Look at all those areas, look at your marriage, look
at your parenting, look at your relationship with God, with
your business, with your health, and ask yourself the question
what time frame am I on? If you're on five
and two, if you're on thirty, stop it, move yourself
to eternity. Understand that God has bigger plans. You want
to be the man that puts his hand to the plow,
keeps looking straight ahead and goes in the same direction
as whole life.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Thank you very much for listening.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Guys, remember to share, like subscribe.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
If you think that this.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Would be something that someone would enjoy, please send it
to him. We appreciate it all. If you want to
get in touch, you can follow us on Instagram at
the Impossible Life. You'll find us on there. You can
also email at Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
If you have any questions.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
If you want to get in touch and find out
about Garrett's personal or business coaching, that's the way to
do it. Thank you again for listening. Go out there
and think better and live the impossible.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
You see you again sooner.
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