In-Between: A Mindful Approach to Stress Management with Rosa Castaño

We have a special guest this week! Please welcome Rosa Castaño —a meditation, mindfulness, and movement leader as well as a keynote speaker. Rosa shares her  journey from a corporate career to becoming a leader in workplace well-being and stress management. This one's got lots of good tips and advice you're going to want to hear!

We cover so much in one episode: 

• Mindfulness, emotional well-being, and creating realistic goals
• Stress management tactics
• Maintaining personal boundaries while working from home  
• The power of self-talk
• Navigating stress and anxiety 
• The importance of personal core values to guide decisions

Follow Rosa here:
https://www.rosacastano.com/
@wellbeingwithrosa
Align & Achieve: Goal Setting & Vision Boards (digital workshop!)
Well-Being & Team Building Workshops

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Episode Transcript

Elizabeth (00:06):
Hey, Hey, Hey, everyone.
Welcome back to another episodeof the in between.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney,and I have a wonderful, exciting
guest.
I mean, when do I not havewonderful, exciting guests?
Hello.
So her name is Rosa Castano.
I want to give you a littleintro about her before I let her
introduce herself.
So we were introduced by a pastguest, Brittany Tucker.

(00:26):
She's brighter with Brit.
She was actually like, you Notmy first guest, but one of my
first big guests.
Um, we talked about reallyvulnerable things, domestic
violence and experience she had,and we've been friends since
great, great, great connections.
And a little while ago shereached out and said, Hey, I
need you to meet this rockstarRosa.
She's my friend.
I think you guys will click and.
Click.
We did.

(00:46):
So Rosa is a meditation,mindfulness and movement leader,
as well as a keynote speaker whooffers workplace wellbeing
workshops, stress managementworkshops, wellness activations,
and leadership and developmentcoaching.
Basically she wants you tosucceed.
She wants you to limit yourstress, and she doesn't want the
workplace holding you back fromany of it.

(01:06):
So with a vast corporatehistory, unique understanding of
stressors and joys of theworkplace, it all makes her the
ideal expert to help implementstrategies and lead workshops to
help create resilience andemotional well being in the
workplace, which I think we allcrave and need.
So, what's great about that isyou get to hear her now.

(01:27):
So, Rosa, thank you for joiningme, and welcome to The
Inbetween.

Rosa (01:30):
Happy to be here and thank you so much for that
introduction.
It's it's so it's so vast andcovers so much so I Am so happy
that Brit introduced us.
She's wonderful and I have justyou know, absolutely like new
best friend in you So I'mexcited for our chat

Elizabeth (01:46):
I swear I feel like we were just talking before we
started recording and I waslike, gosh, we are very similar.
We are so alike and like, I gotto see you.
So we're going to make sure thathappens at some point in the
near future.

Rosa (01:56):
let's come play in Nashville

Elizabeth (01:58):
Yes, let's, let's.
And thankfully Nashville is notso far from Atlanta, so I love
that.
Um, okay, so Rosa, let's, uh,I'm going to hand you the mic
and I want you to kind of givethe audience a little spiel.
Tell us about you.
Let's, let's get into it beforewe get into it, if you know what
I mean.

Rosa (02:14):
Absolutely.
So I always like to kind ofstart with my origin story.
So in 1988, I was born.
I'm just kidding.
We won't go back that far, but Ido like to go back to, I was
started off my career in thecorporate workplace, actually
through a family company.
My mom owns a company that wasaround medical equipment sales.

(02:35):
And so I really got to cut myteeth on sales immediately, but
domestic international.
And my mom was never one tolike, You see so much in the,
you know, news right now aboutNepo babies.
That is not my mom.
I think I had to start offcleaning toilets.
So she was like, I want you toknow every aspect of the
business.
And I'm like, really?
But toilets, like I get that.
Um, but I did, I got, I got todo a warehouse and really worked

(02:58):
my way up.
And that was kind of what Ithought was going to be, um, you
know, my pathway.
But then as life does at times,uh, made a little powerful pivot
and then decided for my own.
Sake to leave the company,pursue new things.
And then I ventured into salesroles, uh, for a company at a

(03:20):
Nashville that catered tobachelor and bachelorette
parties.
I knew I really liked Nashvilletourism, so it really, you know,
hard classic transition frommedical equipment sales to
bachelorette parties.
Um, but it

Elizabeth (03:33):
Sorry,

Rosa (03:33):
was one of those things that no

Elizabeth (03:36):
So that was

Rosa (03:37):
well, the funny thing about, it's like, as I, as I, as
I thread this.
It all kind of like builds oneach other where you're like,
Oh, of course you're kind ofdoing what you're doing now.
So hang, hang tight with me onthis journey.
So we, uh, we, I was the firsthire for this company.
We built the company up.

(03:57):
Weeks.
Nashville, New Orleans, weattracted the attention of a
major network, um, that we did areality TV show.
It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.
Um, and then before the TV showeven aired, I just had this
little intuitive hit that it wastime for me to move on.

(04:18):
I didn't think that the show wasgoing to do what everybody hoped
it would do.
So I kind of followed myintuition.
And, um, I left before that showaired.
I got another job, um, intourism and hospitality here in
Nashville at a giant music thathas to do with country music.
So everybody can put two and twotogether.
Um, and then sure enough, the TVshow airs and

Elizabeth (04:40):
Sorry.

Rosa (04:41):
thank you.
It's the, it's all thestruggles.
We laugh so we don't cry,

Elizabeth (04:47):
Oh god, I love it.
You are my twin.
I'm obsessed.
God.

Rosa (04:52):
So, sure enough, the TV show really didn't do anything,
um, and so I was able to go onmy merry way, but it was, uh, it
was a very interesting time whenit's like, you have this TV show
airing and then you're atsomething totally different, but
it was a, it was a wild year.
And then, um, 2020.
Everybody is familiar with that.

(05:13):
Lovely

Elizabeth (05:14):
something happen?

Rosa (05:15):
Uh, since I was, something did happen.
Yeah.
So since I was in tourism andhospitality, uh, there was, uh,
no tourism.
And so there was no need for mydepartment.
So unfortunately my departmentof seven went down to three.
My job position was eliminated.
OPS, I was five months pregnant.
So, uh, there was a lot ofthings going on at the time, and

(05:38):
yes, luckily my husband was in ajob that, uh, thrived during the
pandemic.
He works for a company thatsells, uh, peaches and other
produce, and everybody was athome baking and canning and
learning how to do stuff.
So, uh, peaches thrived duringthat time, so thankfully we were
very well taken care of duringthat.
But, it allowed me to reallyStart going.

(06:02):
What do I want to do?
Because in the meantime, on theside, I had done my yoga teacher
training.
I was always very passionateabout wellness and wellbeing,
but even at that time, wellbeingwasn't a word that was commonly
used.
Um, it was really just morewellness, mental health.
And then, it was kind of one ofthose things that when my job
position is eliminated, I'mlike, I get to do whatever I

(06:22):
want to do now.
Crap.
What do I want to do?
Because very rarely do weactually get those moments of
clarity where we can sit and sitand rest and sit in stillness
and just really kind of evaluatelife.
And because I always knew Iwanted to do my own thing and
you know, and it was like, okay,in three years I'll be able to
do this.

(06:42):
And you have your plan and thensometimes the universe just
burned your boats for you.
And that was my, that was mymoment to say, okay, what do I
want to do?
And so I started to search andresearch and mostly because I
saw my friends, my colleagues,peers who were sitting at home
by themselves for the first timewithout the busy schedule.

(07:06):
themselves with their ownthoughts, which sometimes can a
very scary place and notnecessarily having the tools or
the resources or just theknowledge on how to successfully
manage those feelings,successfully manage that stress
that comes up.
And I saw companies, the goodones, wanting to support their

(07:26):
employees in that capacity, butalso maybe not necessarily
knowing how, because mentalhealth still in the workplace
was.
It is, you know, to a degree,somewhat very taboo.
So, Whereas originally theworkplace is like you come to
work or do your job.
Now the workplace is more seenas this ecosystem that hopefully
supports the whole person, notjust, um, Hey, here's your

(07:47):
paycheck.
Here's your limited insurance,et cetera.
So now there is so much morethat's actually expected out of
companies, which I think is agood thing because it does allow
people to step into roles thatthey're actually passionate
about, leave roles that don'talign with them.
So I started doing research.
Seeing this, seeing that therewas this need.

(08:09):
And I came across Deloitte, andI found that's really where the
first time I heard or saw theterm well being, that they
actually had a chief well beingofficer.
And I was like, interesting.
The fact that this company isinvested enough to put in their
C suite, someone specificallyover well being for their
employees and what that entails,I realized that this, this is

(08:32):
going to be a trend and one thatis so desperately needed.
so much.
And not everybody has Deloitte'sbudget.
And so how can I come in andkind of create curriculum
workshops, help to bring toolsto people in a very realistic,
like meet people where they'reat way.
so I added on meditation teachertraining, and then I added on
for my own self as well,mindfulness based stress

(08:54):
reduction, because I, as Ievaluated everything, I realized
stress is really theundercurrent of what keeps us in
that fight or flight.
And unmanaged stress keeps usfrom being able to move forward
and heal and create these goalsand do the things that we really
want to do in life.
And so I did mindfulness basedstress reduction, as well as

(09:15):
specifically also being able tofacilitate in the workplace.

Elizabeth (09:18):
Oh, that's cool.

Rosa (09:19):
And so I kind of just, I took all of that.
And then I took my 15 years fromcorporate workplace and.
All of my different iterations.
And I kind of said, you know,what kind of workshop would I
want?
What would land with me?
And because of my connections intourism and hospitality, and
this is why I always tellpeople, you know, the best you
can, don't burn your bridges.
Because that's where I got someof my first clients from, where,

(09:41):
from my, You know, many years ofnetworking in that space, and my
very first one came from a hotelhere, a big hotel chain for
their leadership team, and I gotbrought in because I had been
brought in by somebody.
It's just, it's all the waysthat people connect, and then
you're seeing the thread,because originally I was brought
in to just do a stretch andbreathing session for people,

(10:03):
because I was like, that's,that's great.
Let me just, let me just connectpeople that way first.
And then they loved me andthey're like, what do you have
that's more?
And I was like, yes, I do havemore.
Um, okay.
Uh, so, you know, but that's howwe create things.
And

Elizabeth (10:20):
That is so

Rosa (10:20):
I remember the first time that I, got the connection.
Made the curriculum, sent it tothem, priced it.
I laugh because I priced my veryfirst one at 250 for an hour for
20 people for this leadershipteam.
And, um, Um, I, all these, Ifelt like adults were going in

(10:41):
because, you know, whensometimes in those rooms, you're
like, I'm 15 and why would theylisten to me?
Even though I'm a full grownadult as well.

Elizabeth (10:47):
I'm a child.
I

Rosa (10:48):
Oh, you're 1 year, you're 1 year older than me.

Elizabeth (10:50):
Yeah.
I'm a big girl.
I'll drive you around, but I'm achild.

Rosa (10:53):
was going to say, you pick 16 so you can drive.
Well, be fun.
Um, but I, I was sitting therekind of having to literally tap
into my own practices of, okay,remember to breathe, be where
your feet are.
So I think I literally pretendedto go get pens in a corner and
just kind of like hid there fora minute as I did deep breathing

(11:13):
because This was like, this wasthe moment and I kind of put my
big girl pants on and one ofthose like, fake it till you
make it.
And I went through and I led theworkshop.
It landed with people.
It resonated with people.
I had such great feedback.
And from that moment, it wasthat spark of this is what I'm
supposed to be doing.
Everything else has like beengood.
It's been fun.

(11:33):
It's been great, but this feelsaligned.
It feels So right and I was oncloud nine afterwards And so
from there is kind of off to theraces my name getting passed
around being able to help peoplein in realistic ways because
that's kind of like what I liketo hang my hat on is that We see
so many social media people Um,influencers, personnel out there

(11:56):
who are like, I wake up at ninein the morning and then I do my
routine and then by 11 and I'mlike, please, the average
person, especially if they havekids, they're up at like five or
six and then, you know, they'rein the office by this.
And so how do we actuallyimplement realistic strategies
for real people?
And so that's what's been thefun part of it all.

Elizabeth (12:19):
That is

Rosa (12:19):
So that kind of answers your question.
Been a long

Elizabeth (12:22):
no, that was great.
And honestly, one thing, there'sso many things, but one thing to
mention, this is a great, like,example of when you sit with
yourself and think about whatyou want to do and then you set
out on that journey, thingshappen.
You can't plan it.
You can't predict it.
I don't know what opportunity isgoing to come on this path.

(12:42):
I don't know when I got to takea left or when I got to take a
right, but I'm just going tokeep walking and then boom, the
left turn comes, the right turncomes, the peach pass comes,
like whatever the heck.
And I just, I love that kind ofstory, uh, just because I'm a
big believer in dreams andfollowing your dreams.
I know it's really hard ascheesy as that sounds, but it is
so hard to one, like even likelisten to yourself, but then to

(13:03):
like follow through and thenthree get through the inner
narrative imposter syndrome.
So I think that's amazing.

Rosa (13:10):
it's definitely an intersection of trust the
process, but also inspiredaction, right?
Like, I feel like for me, thetwo have to go hand in hand.
As much as I would just love andwish that, you know, people
would come banging down my door.
Unfortunately, they do not.
So I have to go out and bang ontheir doors, but it's one of
those things I tell people allthe time that, you know, I get

(13:32):
questions.
How do you get the word out?
I'm like, be somewhat obnoxiousabout telling people what they
should know.
And what you want out of whatyou do because people can't
invite you to the party unlessthey know you want to come to
the party and we get in our ownhead all the time where we're
like, why did they think of me?
Or, you know, they should havethought of me.
They know, but people are justliving their lives.

(13:53):
They're doing their own thing.
And it's not by any malice oftheirs.
They're not intentionallyleaving you out of things.
But.
Life gets busy.
And so if you're not staying inat top of mind, if you're not
showing up to things, if you'renot engaging, then
unfortunately, you know, there'sa tendency where you might drop
off.
So it's, it's always like, howdo you stay, um, with touch

(14:15):
points to people?

Elizabeth (14:17):
So true.
Networking is key.
It is key.
And shoot your shot.
Like my, my favorite quote thatI kind of live by with the
podcast speaking all the thingsthat I'm trying to do and grow
right is leap.
I'm looking up cause it'swritten on my whiteboard leap
and the net will appear likethat is, and sometimes the net
doesn't appear, but I alwaysjust plan that it's going to.

(14:37):
And really what I mean by thatis when you make that
connection, you, or you havethat aha moment.
Lean into it.
Like, lean into it.
Don't let the imposter syndromeor the second guessing lean into

Rosa (14:48):
absolutely.
My friends and I have a funsaying amongst ourselves where
we say, sometimes Delulu is theSalulu, because if you can just
go through, have, be delusionalenough, have the audacity to do
it, to try.
That's where to me, some of themagic happens because you're
like, you think, and we go, likeI said, what a money.

(15:11):
One of my keynotes is about fearless because people talk about
the fear of failure and I'mlike, I don't think that's it
because fail everyone's fail.
Failure is known.
So failure is safe.
And the ego loves to be safewhere the fear I think it's
triggered is the fear ofsuccess.
So it's that age old adage of,but what if it does work out?
How do you have to show updifferently?
How, what will life look like?

(15:32):
What if, what does your lifelook like when all the things
that you've had to complainabout or that didn't go your way
are all of a sudden gone?
Right.
And so that's kind of one of thethings where you're just, that's
where the fear of success comesin.
And it's like, okay, it's notabout removing the fear.
It's about noticing it andletting it ride along in the car

(15:53):
with you.
But you're remembering thatyou're in the driver's seat.
Because life is full ofopportunities to be able to
evaluate and level up, butthere's times where it's like
you said, is there a net?
I don't know.
Hopefully.

Elizabeth (16:06):
Hopefully, and I'll tell you right now, spoiler
alert, it hasn't let me downyet.
So, and, and what I mean by thatis even an opportunity that
didn't pan out or it didn't workout the way I thought it was
going to, whatever.
Let's just say something happensthat let me down, and that
negative feeling, negativeemotion, whatever, Almost
immediately, there's somethingelse around the corner that I
couldn't have predicted.

(16:26):
I couldn't have seen so trulyleaping the net will appear.
Even if it's not for that, it'sgonna, you're gonna keep
falling.
Oh, then it does catch youbefore you realize, I didn't
think I was almost out.
So, um, good call out.
Very, very, very important tooand it's all easier said than
done, but that's why groundingand having good well being and
wellness and stress managementhelps you because life's hard.

(16:48):
We're going to have stress,we're going to get in our
frigging

Rosa (16:50):
not, and not, yeah.
And then also not.
Bypassing the feelings like havea good shower cry, right?
Just like that's the best timepretend like you're in a movie
and just like, you know Cryingthe chef you just got to get
those out sometimes becausesometimes it doesn't work out
and it's okay to feel sad aboutit But it's also the practice of
saying kind of hold can I holdspace for both at the same time?

(17:13):
Can I be?
disappointed But then stilloptimistic at the same time, you
know It's not bypassing itbecause we all have feelings and
I think that's where we get introuble sometimes when we want
to push things Down, but it'sjust going I'm allowed to be sad
about this, but I can't stay sadabout it

Elizabeth (17:29):
right?
Don't gaslight yourself, don'tinvalidate your feelings, but
don't let them control yourworth.
It's

Rosa (17:38):
It's like that perfect in between

Elizabeth (17:41):
I love it.
I love it.
Actually.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
Yes.
Okay.
So I just want to say this, thethings that we talk about today,
they are going to transcend morethan just corporate.
it will help you with corporate,yes, but it's, it's also your
day to day, it's your personal,these are things that we can do
in our day to day, but we'regoing to talk about stress, ways

(18:02):
to gauge and manage, and thenhow we can tackle the larger
goals.
And one thing that you said tome when we first started talking
about this conversation was, youknow, Survival mode is typically
the outcome of like unmanagedstress, so no more survival mode
babies.
And I know I'm very vocal aboutmental health, anxiety, stress,
my struggles, my issues, youknow, well not issues, but you

(18:23):
know what I mean, like mysetbacks and things and hurdles
and fight or flight is a realthing, so no more survival mode.
We are working on groundingourselves, whether it's in the
workplace or in our life, andthat's the beauty of it.
um, You've always been drawn towellness and well being.
You were a, you said you were ayoga instructor, like you got
your certification and then youwent into meditation.

(18:45):
and then seeing your friendsafter, like during the covid
during the covid during thepandemic and seeing the
underlying stress tethers.
Um, I would be shocked to hearanyone say that their job does
not add stress to their life.
I mean, We live in America,let's just be honest, like, job
is a part of culture here, it'sa part of our life and it makes

(19:06):
or breaks if it's not good, it'snot healthy, but we can protect
ourselves.
So, my first question for youis, how do you think stress
impacts us on a personal, like,day to day level, work, all of
it?

Rosa (19:20):
Oh Gosh so many ways I was you know, share touch points of,
you know, unmanaged stress tapsinto emotional, mental and
physical.
And it's one of those thingsthat it will have a tendency to
creep up.
There is sometimes where you'relike, no, I'm definitely
stressed, but the compoundingstress is what tends to creep up

(19:41):
because we'll ignore it.
And then we're wondering, whycan't I sleep at night?
Why do I have no appetite?
Why do I have too much appetite?
Why do I have zero energy?
And it's because we're nothaving that daily self awareness
and that daily check in justgoing, how do I feel today?
And then the interesting part isthat the body will start to give

(20:03):
you little signs, little cues tosay, Hey, I'm stressed.
Hey, you know, my cortisollevels are high.
Things are out of whack here.
And that comes in physical ways,like clenched jaws.
is a big sign.
Um, the shoulders love to worktheir way up to the ears, you
know, the, that furrowing of theeyebrow.

(20:24):
Um, me personally, I have acouple of ones that I've noticed
for myself where I'll, thissounds really weird and I don't
know if anybody else does this,but the only way I can describe
it is that like I clench mytongue.
Like, it's like I'm constantlyflexing

Elizabeth (20:37):
Oh my gosh, I do

Rosa (20:38):
not, it's not my, it's not my job, but it's like my tongue.
And then I'm realizing, I'mlike, relax.

Elizabeth (20:44):
I do that.
I will lock it at like the roofof my mouth.
It's wild.
I

Rosa (20:49):
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Well, I'm glad I'm not the onlyone.
Of course it would be you.
That would also resonate withthat.
I love

Elizabeth (20:57):
was like, where is she gonna go with this?
And when you said that I waslike shut up like I because
yesterday I was like so it wasso busy I was like the whole day
like my mouth.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
Sorry continue

Rosa (21:07):
And you're like, why is my tongue sore?
I didn't even know that mytongue could be sore.
And it's because you're, yeah,you're clenching it.
And, um, and then the other oneI noticed, and this is, I am a
big fan of like TMI, you'rewelcome.
So we're just going to be like,you know, we're talking about
all the stuff.
So I, the other one that Inoticed because we also, um,
stress impacts your gut health.

(21:27):
So, you know, there, that canhave stuff go on for you, but.
If I'm really stressed and like,for example, if I'm, uh, cooking
or if I am cleaning the dishesor something, I'll notice that
like my butt cheeks are clenchedand I'm like, why?
Relax, right?
And you have to like physicallyrelax.
And then my brain goes, is thiswhere your tight ass comes from?

(21:47):
For people just like clenching,right?
But it is a sign of stressbecause it's like your body's
holding on to something andyou're clenching at different
points.
So that's why I always like to,I literally have it in my email
signature where I'm like, relaxthe jaw, you know, unfurrow the
eyebrows because we don't noticeunless we do regular check ins

(22:08):
with ourselves where you'relike, where am I holding
tension?
It can be knots in the shoulderblades.
It can be headaches.
It can, there's all thesedifferent components that your
body will subtly give you cues.
And that's your body sayinglike, Hey, get up, move around,
step away from your situation.
But what ends up happening isthat we ignore them.

(22:28):
And then we start to ignore ourbasic human needs, like drink
water, eat, go to the bathroom.
It's not so silly to havesomebody who's like, Oh my gosh,
I totally forgot to eat.
And it's like, yeah, becauseyou're ignoring your hunger cues
because you're so deep in it.
Or when was the last time youjust drank water or looked
outside or went to the bathroom?
And so when we start to ignorethose basic needs, that's when

(22:53):
the stress slowly starts tocreep in when we don't give
ourselves the opportunities tojust get up and step away.
And the interesting part is thescience behind it is that we
only have 45 minutes of focusedattention at a time.
So beyond that, you're kind ofdoing yourself a disservice.
And I always joke too, you know,a lot of people wear smart

(23:15):
watches and you know, if youhave an Apple watch, it's, it'll
say, you know, time to stand up.
But how many people are like,nope, ignore.
You don't get to tell me what todo.
You.
machine.
And, but, but in reality, it'slike, you've been sitting for
too long, please stand up.
So we get stuck in that Lposition.
when you think about a tree,when you think about the body,
everything has to have openchannels to flow, to

(23:35):
communicate.
It's like, Oh, it does makesense that I should get up and
get out of that bending positionand just, Walk around, take a
breath, go do something, reset,and then come back to what I'm
doing.
But we think instead, no, I'mgoing to crank out.
I just need like three hours ofdedicated work.
And it's like, yeah, do that.
But with a little bit of breaksin between.
So I always tell people to.

(23:58):
You know, what happens in theworkplace directly impacts how
we show up in the home life.
What happens in the home lifedirectly impacts how we show up
at work.
Um, and kind of gone are thedays where it's like, you know,
leave your stuff at home orleave your stuff at work.
And it's the person'sresponsibility to make sure if
they've had that stressful dayat work, that they're not coming

(24:20):
home and dumping that on theirhousehold.
Because I know for myself, I'msure other people can relate
too.
stress, anxiety, that's justlike, it's palpable.
So when somebody walks in theroom, it's kind of all of a
sudden, like it shifts theenergy of the room.
And sometimes you can be like,Oh, let's give, you know, so and

(24:40):
so some space because they'reobviously not in a good mood.
I did a workshop one time wheresomebody shared that they had a
past boss that how they walkedin that morning, everybody could
tell what kind of day they weregoing to have.
And I just don't believe thatone person like that should
impact and be in charge ofeverybody else's emotions.
That's where emotionintelligence comes from.
It's where it can say like, hey,I'm having a hard time right

(25:03):
now.
Text your significant other, belike, I'm just gonna decompress
in the car for five minutes.
I'm gonna scream.
I'm gonna cry.
I'm gonna like rage to likeheavy metal music, whatever, you
know, whatever works for you.
But let that be kind of thepalate cleanser so you can come
in and be Refresh because nowit's time to take off that work
hat and now put on your, youknow, parent hat, spouse hat,

(25:23):
partner hat, any caregiver hat,like whatever it is that you are
having to wear.
But knowing, okay, now I'm incharge of my emotions.
I'm not going to go dumping oneverybody else.

Elizabeth (25:33):
Right.
I'm curious.
I would think the same advicewould follow, but you know,
nowadays a lot of people workremote.
That's a little bit harder tokeep those boundaries in place
because like now you work whereyou live.
You live where you work.
So what are, what are some mmhmm, and I don't mean to throw
you on the spot, but do you haveany like suggestions or best
practices to instill those um,Those boundaries, like, you

(25:57):
know, maybe you work for alittle bit of a toxic company or
toxic team.
Maybe there's like theleadership's a little
unorganized, something likethat.
Like, it can be dysregulating.
And I do agree.
Like, it is your responsibilityto instill those boundaries.
Technically, sure, yoursupervisor should be making sure
they're Supervising and beingthe best version of themselves,
but we know that doesn't happen.
You always protect yourself.

(26:18):
So how can you do that whenyou're like your live space and
your workspace are one in thesame?

Rosa (26:26):
Yeah, and not everybody has a home office or room that
is dedicated to that.
Um, I've talked to people whowork at home in that capacity
and are like, I work at mykitchen table or I have a desk
set up in my room or somethinglike that.
And so I always try to say, youknow, make sure that you kind of
have a clear transition of aspace.
If, for example, your office isin your bedroom, like maybe put

(26:50):
up a partition that you can kindof like physically open and be
like, business is closed rightnow, right?
Because it's more, it's thatenergetic feeling of being like,
my computer's over there.
I know it's over there.
but then also remindingyourself, Oh, I am at home.
I can step away for just a fewminutes.
It doesn't have to be.
But we feel like.

(27:12):
You know, because we are workingat home, we have to be even more
on or even more present orheaven forbid the slack shows
that my mouse isn't moving andit says away, right?
Like, we think that we're kindof being watched by the eyes in
the skies and hopefully you'renot necessarily, but I know that
there are a lot of, like yousaid, toxic workplaces where
it's like people willmicromanage that and you kind of

(27:34):
have to really set thoseboundaries best you can.
utilizing your calendar to say,like, Hey, here, I'm putting
blocks of, um, uninterruptedtime, right?
Like, unless the company's onfire, please do not come to me.
And it's also a practice toteaching people how to treat
you.
And it's not always possible.

(27:54):
You know, I always sayeverything with caveats.

Elizabeth (27:57):
Yeah.

Rosa (27:57):
Because sometimes if we're in a lot season, push season, if
there's like promotionshappening, promotional things
happening, you sometimes do haveto be all hands on deck.
And then you know that, but whenyou're in kind of a normal
season, normal in quotations,because what is that?
You know, it's being able toprotect that space.
But at home.
Reminding yourself, you know,and when I was in the workplace

(28:20):
when I was working in office Icould never burn a candle even
though I love candles because Iwant to be respectful to other
people because What I thinkmight be a delightful scent
might not be somebody else'sdelightful scent.
So it's kind of remindingyourself.
Hey However, you can make yourspace yours If you're working
from home, do that, you know,make it, make it a place that
you actually enjoy.
Make it a place that's fun.

(28:40):
I have, uh, I, I've talked toone guy and his home office, he
loves everything Marvel,everything Star Wars.
So he has a whole full displaybehind it and he can because
it's his home office and he cando whatever he wants, right?
You can't necessarily bring thatinto the workplace.
And so I think it'sopportunities to say, okay, I'm

(29:00):
working from home, but how do Imake it a fun space?
space that I really actually getto enjoy to come to, um, and
then reminding yourself it'sokay to close the laptop.
It's okay to take a step away,go outside, breathe some fresh
air because I think at home it'salmost worse.
And I would love to hear likeother people's opinions about
that because you really do feellike you're stuck and tethered

(29:23):
to your computer.
Because you don't have theexternal distractions, and I
sometimes was like the worst ofthat in the workplace.
I'm a very social person, so Ihad to get done with my work and
just like naively assumeeverybody else was done with
theirs.
And so I was like walking aroundto people, um, and, and that's
kind of part of the camaraderiethat is in the workplace.
Which I think that's why a lotof companies are wanting people

(29:46):
to get back together into theoffice.
But I think there's a space tohave a hybrid model or be like,
really, what is actually needed?
Ask your people what they want.
Don't just make demands ofthings necessarily.
Um, especially if it's beenworking.
Right.
So, you don't have that naturaldistraction of, Oh, so and so's
coming here.
Oh, we're going to chit chat.
You don't have that nor thosenormal social interactions.

(30:09):
So I feel like you are doing somuch more computer work.
And there is a such thing aszoom fatigue.
It's been studied, you know,having to sit in front of this
computer and just constantly beon and talk into the void, is a
big actual real thing.
And so.
Making sure that you're givingyourself those checks and
balances at home and in theworkplace

Elizabeth (30:31):
Boundaries.
Boundaries.
Boundaries.
Stress management, would youagree, is boundaries to an
extent?
It's not all boundaries, but itis a big thing of boundaries.
Uh, yeah, I'm

Rosa (30:42):
Yeah, it is One of the things I do in my workshops with
corporate groups is I have themkind of go through like a normal
flow Of their day and againnormal in quotations And I ask
them, you know as you thinkabout the normal arc of your
day, when do you tend to feelmost stressed overwhelmed?
triggered by things and Analyzethat and then begin to put in

(31:04):
those boundaries to play becauseif we can't do those things to
kind of help offset some of it,well, then that's not helping us
manage our stress and sometimesstress is inevitable and that's
a guarantee, but it's how wemanage it.
That makes all the difference.

Elizabeth (31:20):
right.
Absolutely.
I completely agree.
very well said.
Very well said.
So I'm just curious.
Do you ever use the term burnoutin your teachings and trainings
and workshops?
Because I kind of feel likeburnout is a result of, or it's
one of the results of unmanagedstress and just kind of pushing
yourself too hard for a lack ofbetter words.
I'm just curious what theexpert's opinion is on that.

Rosa (31:42):
so kind of two parts.
So, um, I do address burnout,but I address it in kind of like
a very.
because especially these days,burnout, that term is being
tossed around very loosely, youknow, when, if you know truly
what burnout is on the clinicallevel, that is, you know,

(32:04):
you're, you're no longer able tofunction in your work.
You're no longer able tofunction in your life.
And it is maybe one of thoseopportunities or those things
where you have to go to, um, arehab center or a clinic just to
be able to recoup from that.
And that doesn't happenovernight and burnout, that
terminology is specificallyright now, for the workplace.

(32:27):
they don't have it.
clinically described as just,you can't be just burnout from
life.
but it is all things that aredue to unmanaged stress, over
workloads, understaffed, underresources, all of those things
compounding.
And, um, That is what leads toburnout.

(32:48):
There's five levels of burnout.
And then there is the ways thatwhen we have chronic stress, so
you just have your, you haveyour basic, you know, run of the
mill stress.
Um, and then you start to havechronic stress.
And that's the untapped, becausethe body, I'm gonna, like, get
nerdy here for a second.
So the body is designed tohandle stress.

(33:08):
That's why we have a nervoussystem.
It is what kicks us into fightor flight.
So ancestors come, mountainlions come to attack.
Are we fighting?
Are we flying?
It literally pumps blood to ourextremities are we throwing
punches?
Are we kicking?
are we running?
It slows down our digestion.
It actually slows down ourimmune system as well, because

(33:30):
it's just going, Hey, we'reneeding to take care of the
closest threat.
Well, What's happening now isthat instead of mountain lines,
it's mounting emails.
That's my favorite dad jokepuns.
Um, but people are realizingthat, you know, the mind doesn't
know the difference between aperceived stress and then an

(33:51):
actual stressor.
And so, whereas we're supposedto close the loop, we're
supposed to have that stressor,we engage, And then we come down
from it.
And when we come down from itand activate that
parasympathetic system, ourdigestion actually enhances our
immune system enhances becauseit goes, Okay, now we have to
heal everything, right?

(34:11):
Maybe we got injured in ourbattle with the mountain lion.
We've got to, we've got to heal,we've got to do better.
And so whereas that wouldtypically engage when we don't
close that loop when we keep itopen.
That's what leads to chronicstress, which leads to actually
a suppressed, a long termsuppressed immune system, gut
health, emotional decline,mental decline, and that only

(34:33):
continues that pathway.
And so that's the aspect of itthat if we, from the science
side and the actual, what isyour body doing?
That is what happens.
And then it's even more complexwhen we get into, our
neurodivergent friends, right?
And so how they process thingsis also going to be different.

(34:53):
I, I joke all the time with myhusband cause I'm like, your
head is telling you that youjust like want to lay on the
sofa and just like binge andconsume and all this stuff.
But you've really got to get outof your head and into your body.
So it's, yeah.
Doing those little checks andbalances practices and be like,
can I bring in some movement?
Because we're getting filledwith energy, we're getting
filled with cortisol and allthese stress hormones.

(35:16):
And, um, It needs to come out.
It needs to release somehow.
We need to close that loop andthat might for some people look
like action for some people thatmight look like Journaling for
some people that might looklike, you know, just doing
gentle movement maybe it'sbreath work, but it's doing
something to help move andregulate the body and That's the

(35:38):
part that if we don't managethat That leads to chronic
stress and the compoundingchronic stress is what leads
then to burnout.
But I hear so many people, likeI said, they wear it as a badge
of honor.
Oh, it's so burnout.
I'm like, I don't want you to beburnout.
I don't want you to get to thatbecause nobody benefits.
You least as a person least ofall benefit.

(35:59):
And I think the majority of ushave people that we are either,
you know, reliant to or have to,take care of whether it's pets
or plants, right?
We, we have things that we haveto take care of, um, if you're
not taking care of people.
And so you have to look afteryourself first.
And unfortunately most aren'tgoing to have somebody who was

(36:21):
like, Hey, have you had anywater?
Have you gone to the bathroom?
Have you stood up?
Like, have you, have youbreathed any fresh air?
And, and that's just, you know,keeping it very like undermist
level.
It goes so much deeper on trulylike self care and stress
practices.
So not meaning to make light ofit, but just those little things
that, you know, are touch pointsthroughout the day that goes,
Oh, I can remember that I'm ahuman and I'm not just some

(36:45):
robot who's at this thing.
and kind of just remembering.
What you stand for, what youenjoy, what you like to do, and
what is the outcome hoping for.

Elizabeth (36:55):
Absolutely, and I was gonna say, we say these are
simple things, but I know Istruggle with them sometimes.
Also, neurodivergent girly overhere, ADHD.
And I'm like, yeah, it's just astruggle sometimes, but I mean
it's, I've definitely come along way.
I know it's something I have towork on probably the rest of my
life, but we're in a good place.
But the

Rosa (37:13):
Oh, it's an ongoing process, trust me.
I wish there was a time where itwas like, Congratulations,
here's your certification, youwill never be stressed again.
Unfortunately, they don't givethose out.
I've looked.
But, It just, you know, it iswhat it is.
And, and my, one of my favoritesayings, I actually learned this
saying from, my teacher fromyoga teacher training was just
because something sounds simpledoesn't mean it's easy,

Elizabeth (37:33):
Oh, that is such a good

Rosa (37:35):
practices.
There are a ton of simplepractices that we can do, but
that doesn't make them easy.

Elizabeth (37:43):
And we don't, just like how you said the brain
can't differentiate between whatis the actual stressor versus
not, like, it's the same thing.
To me, like with my ADHD, I willthink I can do the 32 things
that I've outlined and I likeprocess it in my head and
because I process it in my head,well then obviously I can, I can
do that.
I can output that.
No, like I probably do two ofthose things, but chances are if

(38:03):
there's 32 on there, I getimmobilized because I'm at task
paralysis and I'm like bleh.
So sometimes stress managementis just also like knowing your
limits, like you cannot

Rosa (38:14):
Yeah.
Because, Exactly because thenwhat happens, you know, you talk
about not being able to get itdone.
Well, then we start to shamespiral And then we're like, why
can't I just do the thing that Ineed to do?
And then we dig our hole deeperand deeper and deeper.
And that's a long way out versusgoing, how can I sometimes just
do less is more, right?
But it is hard when you're like,I have this long list of things

(38:35):
I need to do.
And then, you know, whether timeis an issue for you, whether you
as a neurodivergent personperceive time differently,
right?
Where like you go into this timewarp and you're like, I swear I
had an hour.
Why is it, you know, why do Ihave to leave in five minutes?
it's, it's reminding yourself,like, how can I set myself up
for success?
I tell people it's verycounterintuitive to what most

(38:59):
leadership gurus, mostsuccessful people tell you.
But I say, sometimes go for thelow hanging fruit.
Go for the things that's goingto give you the win to help
propel you to the next thingbecause otherwise, like I said,
you make this long list, youdon't get it done.
You start to shame spiral.
You start to have that innervoice of like, why can't I do

(39:19):
it?
Why do I even bother and then itjust sets you back versus going,
Okay, we're going to do thisthing in all my workshops.
I tell people because most ofthe rooms that I'm in are very
high achieving, high performing,right?
Like why do one thing when youcan do 20?
And so when I do the goalsetting, I say, I want you to
pick one to two, no more thanfive and let's break those down

(39:42):
in workshops.
And people are like, what?
No, I want to have 15 goals.
And I was like, but I want, I'mhere to set you up for success.
I want you to win and we canonly do that in small little
increments, right?
When you, when you get to one,then you can be like, I win and
then off to the next one.
But we make it so overwhelmingand make this huge thing versus

(40:04):
how can I condense it and breakit down?
So that way I have a positiveoutcome.
So we're nicer to ourselves.

Elizabeth (40:12):
Mm hmm.
Exactly.
It's all about that innernarrative.
The more I work on my anxiety,and my anxiety is in a really
good place, I have my own mentalhealth fun.
This is, for lack of betterwords, uh, I'm just kidding,
there's a, that's the worst wordto use.
It was like my own, I call it mypersonal rock bottom.
Everyone's rock bottoms are

Rosa (40:29):
Like it was very unfun.

Elizabeth (40:33):
isolating, depression, and it was my first,
it's been my most, my, my mainexperience with it.
And It, it does, it was takingdown, breaking things smaller, I
mean at that point I wasn'ttaking care of myself, like I
wasn't showering, I wasn'teating, like I mean I hated to
even go use the bathroom, I waslike this is an inconvenience,
that's how depressed I was,

Rosa (40:52):
Yeah.
And that's, that is thedepression.
That's the burnout.
That's the thing that's likeyou're getting there when you
start to just eliminate allbasic, you know, self
preservation.

Elizabeth (41:03):
and that's ultimately, I mean, there was
some health stuff.
It was a car accident.
It was a bunch of things, but itwas a bunch of things that
attributed to, like, unmanagedchronic stress.
Well, chronic because it wasover a period of few years, and
then that was the outcome was, Iwas nothing.
I had nothing.
I was empty.
but that's how I slowly crawledmy way out.
It was like, Okay, all these bigpicture things, like honey,

(41:25):
you're not even taking care ofyourself.
I was with a therapist and shewas amazing.
I am a big advocate for therapy,but it was like, you can't even
worry about these big things.
You need to like, make sure youbrush your teeth today.
You need to like go use thebathroom and I feel guilty about
taking a piss.
I mean, TMI, but like that'swhere it was.
And it's easier

Rosa (41:43):
And I think it's also important to put, yeah, to
remind ourselves to in thosemoments, which was your moment
of just being in survival mode,that sometimes those moments are
needed to, because that is yourbody just being like, we just
have to take care of like what'shappening right here.
I don't have capacity foranything else.

(42:04):
And so I always like to put thatcaveat in there because I think
that there are moments in life,things that happen, like it
sounds like you had compoundingthings and sometimes life will
just life like that.
And survival mode is what isnecessary because it's moving
you through the day to get donejust simply what you need to get
done.
And so, the, there's, thereneeds to be a lot of grace and

(42:26):
forgiveness around those momentstoo.
And just being like, you knowwhat, I did what I had to do in
that moment.
But it's the process of notstopping.
Staying in that moment.
It's not staying in survivalmode and being able to move past
that and that's where a lot ofthe tools Come from being able
to have the advocacy to help andbring people out of that But

(42:47):
also knowing that sometimesthat's the season that you have
to be in but you can't staythere

Elizabeth (42:52):
could, I couldn't have said it better because I
was going to say, as you weretalking, I was thinking, I had
to go through that to be where Iam today, but going through
that, I learned the tools toprevent that from happening
again.
I mean, knock on wood, I don'twant to say never say never,
because like you said, life belifing sometimes.
Sometimes, but.
Now I have a whole set ofskills, things, resources, but

(43:13):
also just like knowledge andmental strength from, cause I
have been at a rock bottom andI've got myself out.
Did I do it by myself?
No.
Like I had therapy, I, this,that, whatever.
But like I loved myself enoughto get that help and to get out
of that situation.
And then now I have the mindset,the perspective, the tools to
essentially, and the hope not tohave it happen again.

(43:35):
so.
Survival mode, I'm sure I'llhave moments, another, another
periods, eras, chapters ofsurvival mode, but hopefully I
don't ever reach that rockbottom again because I, even
when it gets dark or when itgets hard or overwhelming, I, I
have that safety net.
I have that, that life jacketthat I can throw at the last

Rosa (43:55):
practices

Elizabeth (43:56):
Exactly.

Rosa (43:57):
Absolutely.
And the interesting part too,whenever I talk about stress per
se, there is a lot of, Shamearound it, I would say, because,
you know, we think like, oh,well, so and so is handling it
so much better.
Why can't I handle it?
Or this is nothing.
Or I think we've also allthought, where we're like, I
don't understand why they're sostressed about it.

(44:18):
I've been through that samething and it wasn't that big of
a deal.
And I think that's where we haveto remember everybody's capacity
for stress is different becauseeverybody's story is different.
And so when we have thosemoments where we want to make
judgments on others or judgmentson ourselves remembering that
you know be present in thatmoment and you're not less than
because you're struggling withstress.

(44:40):
You're, you know, it doesn'ttake away from who you are, but
remembering, okay, you do havepractices that you can put in
play to help manage this.

Elizabeth (44:49):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Oh my gosh, I want to have youon speed dial just to like call
you when I'm having a moment ora panic moment.
And I'm just like, just walk medown, just, just breathe with
me, please.
Um, seriously.
and you know, I had wrote downhow competing thoughts are
overwhelming and it's not evenreally a question.
It's more of a statement like,yes, when your brain is going a

(45:10):
thousand miles a minute andyou're overwhelmed and you're
stressed.
It's going to be a little bitharder probably to kind of find
the fine line or to find thelight in the tunnel to get you
out of whatever's going on.
And that's where the grounding,the best practices, the toolkit
that we're talking about, theresources, those will come in
handy.
but to me, I think.
I am ADHD, so I frickin knowthoughts and running amok is a

(45:32):
problem I'm gonna have my wholelife.
So it's just like for me, it'slike the awareness of knowing
that, okay, that that's normal.
That's no longer a something'swrong with me.
That's just normal.
And then it's like knowing it'snormal.
So that gives me that gracebecause I agree grace, guilt,
shame or guilt and shame are areheavily associated with stress,
and those two emotions are sostrong, and they're so negative.

(45:56):
And, speaking from my ownexperience, like, those have
kept me in the gutter so muchlonger.
But, having this self awareness,getting through those things,
like, when it's happening, okay,I'm a little dysregulated.
How do we ground?
I'm very sensitive to that now.
Like, don't you dare dysregulateme.
Especially if there was noreason to, just being

Rosa (46:15):
Yeah, because it's so precious to you because you know
what it feels like.
And especially, you know, withmy ADD and ADHD friends, it's
like that duality of I needstructure and then like, don't
put me in a box.
Right.
You like, I want this one.
And so it's like, okay, how,yeah.

Elizabeth (46:29):
there's my

Rosa (46:29):
Right.
Like how to both exist at thesame time.

Elizabeth (46:31):
Yep.

Rosa (46:33):
those little habits that, that work for you.
I will say my sister's also, uh,ADHD and she's done really good
about, putting things into play.
That work for her, right?
Tools and things that work forher.
And it's funny that I havelearned so much from her and
from, um, some other friends whoare also ADD and ADHD.

(46:54):
Simple things like, uh, theyjokingly call it the ADHD tax.
Right?
Where you're like, I boughtfresh vegetables and fresh
fruits and then I put them in myfridge never to be seen again.
And so my sister, for example,is like, I know for myself, I
have to pay more.
So that's where like the taxcomes in.
I know I have to pay more.
To already buy pre cut fruit.

(47:16):
Because I'm not going to comehome and cut up the strawberries
or put the blueberries away orcut up the pineapple.
It's just going to sit and rotand now I have moldy, pineapples
or cantaloupes on my, um,counter.
And so it's like little thingslike that where you learn things
about yourself.
What supports you, what healthyhabits can you get into and not
just food healthy habits butjust life healthy habits.

(47:39):
that help create that structure,but also allow room for,
spontaneity.
Yeah.

Elizabeth (47:50):
kind of segues into like the last part of the
conversation I wanted to haveabout bigger goals, breaking
those down, but when you'retalking about the low hanging
fruit and I was also thinkingabout the high achievers and,
all, everything that you weresaying, and for me with my ADHD,
but, not even just about ADHD,but like, I have a full time
job, sure, yes, but I'm tryingto grow my podcast.
I'm trying to get into speaking,as you know, because you've been

(48:11):
such a great resource.
But like, that's a lot ofdifferent things.
One, literally taking mentalawareness of everything I'm
doing.
Believe it or not, I don't do,and I'm trying to work on that
because I didn't realize howmuch that affects me.
Like actually recognizing howmuch you're doing because while
I'm doing it, I'm not thinkingabout that because I think, Oh,
I don't have the volume numbersyet.
I don't have this yet.
I don't have that.

(48:31):
But technically I'm trying to dothree completely different
things on top of my friends andmy husband and my family and
like, you know, sleeping,eating.
So it's overwhelming.
So the mental awareness is soimportant, but also like being
mindful of my tasks and makingsure this is what I've started
to do.
Add in easy ones.

(48:52):
I will purposefully add in easyones because it's like a
dopamine high to scratchsomething off because I went so
long with not scratching thingsoff because I was trying to do
5, 000 things and that's notpossible to do in one day.

Rosa (49:05):
if you just have to write something on the list that
you've already done just for thesatisfaction of crossing it off.
Right.
And it, and it's, and it's sotrue so especially with my
mindfulness based stressreduction training, it really
helped like Mindfulness isalready integrated in yoga
teacher training, meditation.
It's all kind of a part of theyamas and the niyamas and

(49:27):
getting into the eight limbs ofyoga and everything.
But, what I try to teach is likean undertone of mindfulness and
essentially is mindfulness isbeing present on purpose, but
without judgment.
So it's two, two hard parts,right?
Too simple, but not easy parts.
Pay attention on purpose.
being fully present and then,you know, without the judgment.

(49:50):
And so to the part where you'relike, okay, we start off with
expectations of wanting to be ata hundred already.
We have to remember, okay, butwe just got to start with step
one and then step two and stepthree and that we have to go
through the steps.
And as much as we just want itto be done and finished already,
that's not how life works.
And so that's the, the mentalawareness that comes through of

(50:12):
like, how can I do these tasksmindfully?
It's not necessarily having toput in this, Whole new practice
because whenever I bring upmindfulness or try to integrate
mindfulness, I'm like, I knowyou're already trying to do
everything You listed off right?
I'm trying to get enough sleep.
I'm trying to do well my job.
I'm trying to be a good partnerI'm trying to be a good, you
know Daughter, I'm trying tolike, you know, be a good friend
and when I'm like, yeah, buthave you heard about
mindfulness?
They're like Rosa, please.

(50:33):
I'm already no stop.

Elizabeth (50:34):
I'm not journaling.

Rosa (50:34):
my entire like yeti full of water, right?
Yeah, I don't want to journal.
I hate writing all these thingsand and so I tell people You
It's not this whole additionalpractice.
It's an addition.
It's a complimentary thing tosomething that you're already
doing.
And when you give yourself smallopportunities to be mindful, it
allows you to see the fullpicture, I think, a little bit

(50:57):
better.
And that can help you.
Succeed and show you the pathwayto different goals because you
can see, all right, this needsto take place.
This needs to take place.
This needs to take place.
But because when we talk aboutgoals, the, the thing that we
want is the outcome, right?

Elizabeth (51:14):
Right.

Rosa (51:14):
We're attached to that emotional feeling it's going to
give me when I have achievedthis.
Right.
And so that is what if we couldhold on to that, that is what
propels us and keeps us satiatedthrough the goals because it's
going to be hard you're going tostart and stop.
You're going to have setbacks.
You're going to have things thatdon't go the way that you want
it to be.

(51:35):
But how do you keep thatfeeling?
Present and that is what, keepsus going.
I'm an Enneagram eight and I'mjealous of all my ones and
threes who like, they're likethis goal, got it.
I just want to go for it.
Cause I'm like, I also let'sstart off real strong.
We're just start off real strongtogether.
But then I might get a littletired along the way I need that
reinvigorating like multipletimes throughout the way.

(51:57):
I'm just as determined as youare, but my timeline's a little
different.
And so I have to put checks andbalances in for myself for this
as well, but keep breaking itdown and then giving those
moments of opportunity to bemindful throughout our day.
it's just so beneficial and ithelps to, You keep using the

(52:18):
word grounding, which I reallylove.
It helps to kind of keep yougrounded in that when things get
overwhelming, just be where yourfeet are because that's all you
can do in that moment.
You can't be anywhere elseexcept for exactly where you are

Elizabeth (52:29):
And you say that and despite what your brain is
telling you

Rosa (52:32):
Oh yeah.

Elizabeth (52:32):
can still do that because I don't know with PTSD
trauma and the unmanaged stress,and maybe you haven't made it to
burnout, but you're on your wayto burnout.
Like everything in you is goingto say, no, you don't have time.
You can't do this.
No.
You can take the five minutes tobreathe, to ground, to just
exist.
And I bet if you can do thatjust for five minutes in that

(52:54):
chaos, you will come back more,more calm, more reserved.
Maybe not a hundred percent, butyou're not going to be like
this.
Like, if you breathe for fiveminutes and ground, if you come
back like this, maybe you have aback issue.
You know what I mean?
It's going to relax a littlebit.
It is.

Rosa (53:10):
it's interesting because when people notice the patterns,
a lot of people will be like,Oh, I'm laying in bed at night
and that's when my brain startsgoing and all the ideas and all
the things, or I'm in theshower, I get tons of my best
ideas in the shower, or I'mdriving in the car and you know,
you kind of disassociate and youget to where you are and you're
like, I don't remember thatdrive at all.
That doesn't feel safe.

(53:30):
How many stoplights?
I don't know.
Who knows?
I'm just here.
I went from here to

Elizabeth (53:34):
more often than I'd like.

Rosa (53:36):
Well, and the reason behind that again to kind of
bring the science into it isbecause in those moments You're
not using your executivefunction.
So your brain actually has thecapacity To problem solve
because it's kind of like, youknow when you're shoving
something that's not fitting.
It's not fitting It's notfitting if you like back up for
a little bit maybe it's justlike pivot like Ross from
friends then things can kind ofgo up, but I tell people, you

(53:59):
know, if you get your best ideasin moments of rest, because
that's essentially what it isthat you're finally giving
yourself a moment.
What if you could do thatintentionally?
And that comes throughmindfulness practices that comes
from through meditationpractices.
but when we don't do that, Weare trying to lay in bed and
we're getting, you know, allthese downloads and all these
analyzing of all the things thatwe said or could have said or

(54:21):
fake arguments or futurearguments that we're coming up
with and then That's when wefeel that anxiousness start to
creep in and that's the perfectexample of your brain not
knowing the difference between aperceived and perceived threat
and an actual threat, right?
These things that are happeningaren't actually happening right
in front of you, but your brainis creating those scenarios and

(54:42):
your body is activating as ifthose scenarios are actually
happening.

Elizabeth (54:46):
That's such a good

Rosa (54:47):
And so you kind of have to give yourself the opportunity to
be like, okay, where can I givemyself five to 10 minutes?
It doesn't have to be a full 30minutes.
It doesn't have to be a fullritualistic practice.
It can just be as simple as I'mgoing to sit here.
I'm going to put my hands on thetable.
I'm going to close my eyes orsoften my gaze.
And I'm just going to breathe inthrough my nose and out through
my mouth five times and then letthat be.

(55:10):
But those little touch pointsthroughout the day, it can be
just as small like that, butvery impactful.
I always tell people somethingis better than nothing.
Your body's going to benefit.

Elizabeth (55:22):
All of what you're saying, what we're talking
about, like that is all of thementality, the mindset, the
tools that you take to breakdown larger projects, dreams,
ambitions, whatever, intosmaller tasks to make them
attainable.
I feel like because it can beoverwhelming, right?
like, if you want to build ahouse, you're not just going to
go build the house that day.

(55:43):
Like you got to clear the land,you got to make sure the land's
level, then you got to establishthe foundation, then you can
make sure the foundation sawthere's no cracks in the
foundation, then you start tobuild the framework.
Like you don't start with theroof, you don't start with the
windows, you got to build it.
And like, As somebody who has,like, my podcast was a huge
dream, so it took me, I had toget through my mental shit and
my mental health whatever,whatever, my mental health

(56:05):
journey to be able to be in aspace to do it.
And I didn't realize that, I wasin such a bad place mentally,
but like my brain was like,you're less than, because you
haven't started this thing.
My brain wasn't noticing oh,like, we're not okay.
It was just like what I wasn'tdoing.
And.
I was able to do the podcastonce I was okay, once I was

(56:28):
grounded, I'd gotten myfoundation right.
And then you just, you build on.
And I mean, when I launchedthis, was I a hundred percent?
No, I was probably more like 75,70%.
I am.
I am now a hundred percent.
Like you just, you get better atit.
I feel like,

Rosa (56:41):
You start, you start imperfectly and you'll, all the,
cause we can, you know, haveexcuses until the cows come
home, but it's the thing whereit's like, okay, can I get it
mostly there and then start andthen figure it out along the
way.
That has been one of the biggestlessons I have learned along my
life's journey is that,Everything is made up.

(57:04):
Most people like they're barelydecent at what they're doing,
but they're figuring out alongthe way numbers aren't real.
Nothing's real, right?
If we want to get to anexistential crisis, um, journey,
so, but it is one of thosethings where it's like, you can
get out of your head a littlebit and be like, I'm figuring it
out.
Just like everybody else islike, everybody had to start
from someplace and.
I have learned so much of thatfrom having my daughter.

(57:27):
She is a beautiful practice of,reminders of mindfulness because
she, a little new human, right?
She's literally learningeverything for the first time.
And the awe that I see in hersometimes is just so inspiring
because she'll be fascinated bya dead bug.

(57:49):
Right on the ground or a bladeof grass or the way that the
clouds are drifting through thesky and it's those Really sweet
moments where I can be like wowthose clouds actually are really
pretty and we would get to havethose connection moments But how
often do we actually get to sitand look and just be in awe of?
things around us And kids are sogood for dogs are also so good

(58:12):
for that to be able to just likebring us down to those moments
that we forget that we'reallowed to stop and truly smell
the roses anytime we want.
But we're always in a hurry.
And what are we constantlyrushing for?

Elizabeth (58:25):
Right.
Yeah.
One life.
Talking about being existential.
So we got one life.
Like, stop installing thebroses.
Be at peace.
My of

Rosa (58:33):
big dreams go after them, but enjoy the journey.

Elizabeth (58:37):
Yes.
Because you're going to getthere.
You've already dreamed it.
Claim it.
Just trust you're going to getthere.
That's, that's definitely

Rosa (58:44):
Yeah.
And your house analogy was verypoignant since I'm literally in
the middle of that right now.
So I was like, yes, all thethings you do have to do all the
things, but I have this visionand this like, you know, there's
drawing of what this house isgoing to look like when it's all
done.
And then through any week, I gothrough multiple highs and lows
of being like, I can do it.

(59:04):
I'm my best cheerleader andbeing like, I'm, this isn't
going to work.
There's not going to be an,we're just going to run out of
money.
And we're like, people aren'tgoing to do the thing, you know?
And.
And it's sitting with thosefeelings and kind of going
through them and be like, nope,just control what you can
control.
And we just, we push on.
Yeah.

Elizabeth (59:22):
listening who may be struggling with stress, chronic
stress, intrusive thoughts,because that's definitely a, a
friend of unmanaged stress,intrusive, intrusive thoughts.
Believe it or not.
And I'm saying this as somebodywho never would have thought
this could happen, but the moreyou work on everything that Rosa
and I have talked about, butdefinitely what Rosa has shared.
Believe it or not, your innernarrative will become more

(59:44):
positive.
Believe it or not, you won'thave as much imposter syndrome.
Believe it or not, when thosethings happen, you can snap out
of it before your body can evencatch up.
So I promise you, you may behearing this going, I can't do
that.
There's no way.
I can't.
I cannot stop a smell the roses.
Like I can't even like see theroses.
I'm going so fast.
I promise you, you can.

(01:00:05):
It does take effort, but it is afight, it is an effort that's
worth it because the amount ofmental peace I have found is
amazing.
And guess what?
With it, I have been able toaccomplish tenfold what I could
have before.

Rosa (01:00:19):
And it's called a practice for a reason, right?
And it is, it's a continuousjourney.
I recently got to lead part of aworkshop that was goal setting
and it was just a very quick,like, 15 minute practice where
we had our goal, we wrote downall of our things and then I had
them turn to the person next tothem and share it, but share it
in a way as if I've asked themThey've already accomplished it,

(01:00:41):
right?
Like,

Elizabeth (01:00:41):
Ooh, I love

Rosa (01:00:42):
example, I have already, I've already built my house.
I've already built my dreamhouse and the energy in the
room, you could feel it trulyrise.
And then I kind of brought themback to it because I was seeing
everybody being like, yeah,girl, you do it.
Like you got this, you know,like very encouraging.
And I brought them back to itand said, you know, as

(01:01:02):
encouraging as you were to thisstranger, I want you to flip it
and think about your own goalhere.
And how do you speak to yourselfabout this goal?
Because you would not have toldthis stranger, That's a dumb
idea.
Like, you're never gonna dothat.
Or, well, maybe good luck.
I'm sure you'll start, but youwon't finish it.
Right?
All the things that we go on inour head.

(01:01:24):
We would never say that to them,but we have that internal
dialogue and so much more.
I joke with people.
It's really hard to hurt myfeelings cause I'm very good at
hurting my own.
And so how do you, how do wemanage that?
Right?
Because the way that we talkabout ourselves, our body
listens.
If you're not going to say it tofriends, if you're not going to
say it to people that you careabout, Don't say it to yourself

(01:01:47):
because you need to loveyourself and care for yourself.
And, and think of somebody, um,once shared this practice where
they were like, they pretendedthat they were talking to their
10 year old version.
Like, would you say that to 10year old you?
You're like, absolutely not.
Right.
As your adult version, you wouldbe encouraging, you would be
loving and it's a reminder to doit to yourself.
And then when you notice thosenegative thought patterns that

(01:02:09):
come through, um, Honoring themand saying like, haha, thank you
so much.
Um, I see what you're doing andI'm not here for it and kind of
try to put that kibosh on it andjust rewire some of that.
Right?
And so when we say like, I, I'llnever be able to do this, right?
It'd be like, well, I have, I'mnot able to do it yet.

(01:02:29):
Or I have these things that Ihave to learn along the way.
And so it's kind of reframing itthat puts a positive twist on
it, but still honoring those,those thoughts because they're
always going to be with us,right?
They're allowed to be along the,in the car with us.
But you're in the control,you're in the driver's seat.
And if they get too loud, maybeyou got to put them in the back

(01:02:49):
seat, play quiet mouse for alittle bit, but they're still
going to be there.
And so it's just having thatself awareness of when we start
to go down that negative thoughtpattern.

Elizabeth (01:02:59):
this is a reminder that you do have the control
even if you're like reorganizingthe thoughts you can do it Hmm,
that was such a great note toend on and I was gonna say this
I just did an episode like twoweeks ago, I think That was
about this because I did anexercise with one of my friends
and It was like a positiveaffirmation kind of self talk
exercise and I I got emotionalbecause sure, I think these

(01:03:23):
things here and there like, oh,you're working hard.
It's like being so specific.
In the accolade, in the positivetalk, just being so specific,
like you, like you hit it, thecompliment you give the
stranger, giving it to yourself.
There is so much power in that.
And I mean, as somebody who hascome through so much shit and

(01:03:43):
like worked on myself, likeit's, I, I'm just like, wow, I'm
always learning new things.
Cause like, sure I can managethis or I can, when I'm feeling
a certain way, I can like gaugeup.
Yeah.
I'm hitting my limit and I'm notsaying I, I stop always,
sometimes I, I accidentally passgo, skip go and I keep going
straight to jail kind of thing,but giving yourself the
compliment that you would give astranger that you would give

(01:04:04):
your 10 year old self, I thinkis the best piece of advice that
is so important.

Rosa (01:04:08):
And sometimes too, it'll even feel like, you're lying to
yourself, right?
Because your body feels likeit'll reject it, but it's like,
nope.
It's because your body will belike, Hmm, I don't think you,
you and I both, you know, that Iknow that, you know, it's not
true.
Right.
And so you have to be like, yes,but we are, we are working
through this.

Elizabeth (01:04:29):
And that is, that's part of it.
So when, when you feel thatrejection, ah, you know what?
I got it.
But guess what?
We are good enough.
We did do this one thing.
I mean, hell, just catchyourself that you caught
yourself in the thought.
Like that is the call outbecause to me, all those little
things add up.
It may sound exhausting and Idon't mean for it to be
exhausting.
You're not always on guard inyour head, but you know what I

(01:04:51):
mean?
Like it is, it is worth the callout is that is so powerful.
So, man, I can only imagine likethe workshops and, and, and
activations and all the thingsthat you do, like everyone
leaves like on a high afterward,just like, wow, I'm going to go
check over the world.
Gosh.

Rosa (01:05:06):
That happy tears, sad tears, all the feelings,

Elizabeth (01:05:10):
Yeah.

Rosa (01:05:11):
but yeah.

Elizabeth (01:05:12):
I love that.
So, my last very question beforewe kick things off.
Wrong end of the episode, Liz.
Before we close things out.

Rosa (01:05:21):
Kick me out.

Elizabeth (01:05:23):
Goodness.
Um.

Rosa (01:05:25):
slip.
She's like, we're done here.

Elizabeth (01:05:26):
We're done.
Goodbye.
End recording.
Um, sorry.
You've reached my voicemail.
No, I'm just kidding.
what is, I mean, you've given somuch advice, but what is a piece
of advice that you live by tomanage your stress?
If that's even possible, like tosummarize.

Rosa (01:05:42):
the number one, well, I guess kind of two is that stress
and chaos are inevitable.
And it helps because when youcan kind of expect things and
when you can kind of be like, Iknow things are going to happen,
it helped being not caught offguard as much when you're like,
it's just life, stress, chaos.
It's inevitable.
Things are going to happen.
Life is going to life, like wesaid earlier.

(01:06:04):
but.
having that awareness that it's,you know, this is not to
contradict myself, but you know,that not everything is always
sunshine and rainbows, butthere's so much good, but there
is stress, there's chaos andthat's going to happen.
And so that's kind of one of therules or one of the things that
I'm like, you know, it's goingto do it.
Let's roll with the punches.

(01:06:25):
And then the second thing thatis so important that I don't
feel like nearly enough do thatI do for myself is Just like
companies have missionstatements and core values,
define those for yourself.
if you don't have your NorthStar, it's really easy to get
off your path, shiny objectsyndrome.
And so I created three formyself that really helped me

(01:06:48):
stay on track, help me makedecisions.
So when things do come up, I cansay this is a hell yes, or this
is a hell no.
And my three are family, freedomand flexibility, make a shit ton
of money and do good in theworld.

Elizabeth (01:07:01):
I love that.

Rosa (01:07:02):
And so with opportunities come up as I navigate through my
life, they have to kind of be inone of those things.
And people don't give themselvesthe opportunity to sit and be
like, what do I really standfor?
What do I really believe?
How do I want to navigatethroughout life?
And I think it's just makesthings so much easier That's why
companies have them, right?
So if somebody goes, thiscompany, what do they stand for?

(01:07:22):
Who are they?
It can be like, Oh, it's righthere.
And so having something likethat defined for yourself, I
think is going to be one of thebest things that helps really
manage that stress because youcan see what things align with
this.
What things do I maybe need tolet go of that aren't aligning
with my own personal corevalues?
What am I saying yes to that Ijust said yes to but I really

(01:07:42):
don't want to do this, itdoesn't bring me joy.
It actually like is a much more,bigger stressor than, you know,
what I want it to be.
And then kind of, allow life toflow that way.

Elizabeth (01:07:53):
I love that.
All right, everybody.
So now we're going to, oncewe're done, you're done
listening to this episode, we'reall going to go home and we're
going to write down our corevalues because, uh, yeah,

Rosa (01:08:02):
make your core values.
Do it with your family too,because I think you should have
your own.
You should have your ownpersonal goals or your own
personal core values.
And then I feel like as a familyunit to have them as well.
So

Elizabeth (01:08:12):
I agree.
I, I mean, cause the wholetestament behind why you'd have
them

Rosa (01:08:16):
I have a really great digital workshop, not to like
plug, but I'm going to plug,called the line and chief at
school setting and visionboarding, but

Elizabeth (01:08:22):
Oh, I love that.

Rosa (01:08:23):
is going through and helping to set your mission
statements, set your core valuesand then do what is my personal
favorite.
One of my favorites is a wheelof life to be like, um, Do just
check in where you are.
Where do you want to be?
Where do you need to scale up?
Where do you need to scale back?
Scaling back's my favorite.
And so it kind of just bringspeople through a self guided
journey.

Elizabeth (01:08:42):
okay.
So we'll make sure that we linkthat in the show notes.
Is that on your website?

Rosa (01:08:45):
my shame, that's my shameless plug.

Elizabeth (01:08:46):
No, I love it.
So is that on your website?
If, uh, send me the link so Ican make sure I can check it

Rosa (01:08:51):
I'll send you the link because it's buried because I do
a lot of my own stuff and so,you know, I don't do it all
properly.

Elizabeth (01:08:58):
I bet it, I mean, your website

Rosa (01:08:59):
It's, it's in, it's in there somewhere, but I'll send
you the direct link just to makelife easier.

Elizabeth (01:09:03):
Please do.
Please do.
Um, well, that was a wonderfulnote to end on.
Thank you so much, Rosa.
This has been so encouraging andjust.
I mean, it's all things that I'mpassionate about, but it's, it's
just, it's good to hear like I,the core values, I definitely
want to go assess that.
It makes sense.
Like the CEO of you, like, whatdo you stand for?
and like no more survival mode,like fight or flight.

(01:09:25):
There's a reason for that, butnot everything is surrounded by
mountain lions.
So that's just

Rosa (01:09:30):
Close the loop.

Elizabeth (01:09:31):
close the loop.
I love that.
Oh my gosh.
You're amazing.

Rosa (01:09:37):
Uh, thank you so much for having me.
This was so fun.
I feel like this could be like15 hours long if we

Elizabeth (01:09:41):
Oh, for sure.
It's like a 15 part series.
Let's do it.
Please.
I'm like, okay, so now let's get

Rosa (01:09:45):
We're just gonna, we'll put on a retreat so everybody
can just hear us talk.
Yeah.

Elizabeth (01:09:48):
So you thought this episode was over, but now we're
getting into goal setting.
No, I'm just kidding.
Uh, and vision board planning isnext.
I love it.
So where could everyone find youif they wanted to come, you
know, check you out and followfor best practices and feedback
and things like that.

Rosa (01:10:03):
Yes.
So I love to connect on myInstagram, which is just a
wellbeing with Rosa.
And, uh, it's kind of scatteredbecause, you know, I, well, I
have a perfectly curated pagewhen you could just have all
sorts of spontaneous things thatyou just feel like posting.

Elizabeth (01:10:19):
I'm the

Rosa (01:10:19):
and then from the work, yeah, from the workplace point
of view, it's a workplace stresssolutions.
co.

Elizabeth (01:10:25):
Love it.
So any of my, my corporategirlies listening who are
leaders, we all know that y'allneed that in your corporate
structure.
So call your girl Rosa becauseclearly she does what she's
saying.
I love it.
Oh,

Rosa (01:10:37):
yes, and if any interest in having me speak on anything
just Rosa Castano calm reallymake it easy But we'll put all
that I'm sure in the show notesbecause that's a lot of stuff to
keep track of

Elizabeth (01:10:46):
No, you need to memorize it right now.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Oh, goodness.

Rosa (01:10:51):
exactly pull it up on your tab.

Elizabeth (01:10:54):
I'm obsessed.
Well, everyone listening, youcan watch this episode on
YouTube at the inbetweenpodcast.
You can hear it wherever you getyour podcast because if you're
listening to it, clearly you're,you're, you're listening to it.
And then you can follow me at inbetween pod and Elizabeth Cheney
underscore on Instagram.
And you'll find me and Rosa justhanging out.
You know, building houses andkilling stress because that's
the way the cookie crumbles.

(01:11:16):
Oh my goodness.

Rosa (01:11:17):
There we go

Elizabeth (01:11:17):
time, until our 15 part web series, I guess I will,
I'll let you go and I'll see younext time.

Rosa (01:11:24):
See you next time.
Thank you

Elizabeth (01:11:26):
Bye.