September 6, 2024 • 39 mins
In the voice of Molly Weasley, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" I know, I know, your girl had to go on a brief hiatus because there have been some major life changes!
This episode only touches the tip of the iceberg, but there will be more to come. **wink wink**
Here's a look:
- Recent adventures like New Orleans, maybe not the food I expected but I had a blast celebrating my girl and dancing the night away on Bourbon Street
- The most INCREDIBLE mother-daughter trip to New York City - OMG! I have soooo much more to say about NYC, but i'm saving that for when my mom and I can hop on the mic together. It was truly magical, and I'm officially a NYC girly.
- How did the NYC guest pitch go? You have to listen! I delve into the imposter syndrome, new things learned, and all that I gained from the outcome.
- Hurry sickness - what's that? My new self-diagnosis.
- What's TRULY been going on and why I've been missing-in-action the past few weeks? I'M BUYING A HOUSE!!!!! *big overwhelm* *major life change*
- I get a little personal with the not-so-pretty side that this experience has been and how Stan and I are navigating these stressful times (won't lie, it hasn't been great, but it WILL be!).
- When the complexities of family relationships present themselves, what matters the most?
Tune in for an honest, authentic, and heartfelt episode full of personal insights and life lessons. Per usual, duh.
Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
RODECaster Pro Multichanne (00:06):
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof The Inbetween.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney,and I'm sure you're all asking
the same question.
Where have you been?
For those who don't know thatreference, it's from Harry
Potter.
Anyways, uh, yes, I am sorry, Ijust, whoa.
(00:28):
She disappeared, but now she'sfound.
Um, all with good reason, allwith good reason, but can I just
say, it feels great.
It feels great to be back.
podcasting, I'm not gonna lie.
So Maybe I just haven't hadanyone to yap enough to or what,
but I'm back the bitches backaccording to Elton John and I
(00:51):
feel good to be back.
So missed you.
Love you.
We're here.
We're reunited, but y'all lifehas been insane.
Insane, insane, insane.
And I'm saying that becausewe're going to get into it.
What's going on?
What the heck isn't going on inmy life.
(01:12):
But also just to say the nextfew weeks are going to be crazy.
You might see some interestingbackdrops.
You might see a lot of action inprogress, but it's all good.
It's all gravy.
It's all Gucci baby, because.
We roll with it.
Right?
Right.
And I'm authentic as fuck.
So I'm definitely going to sharemy life experience with you
because, well, it's my podcastand that's what I do.
Anyways, hope you all have beenwell.
(01:35):
Um, I don't even know where tostart.
I'll tell you this before we getinto what the heck's been going
on, because that is basicallythe, The entirety of today's
conversation, let's just talkabout what else has been going
on and I feel a little crazy atthe moment, um, that's okay,
because I am juggling more thanI have in a very, very, very
(01:57):
long time.
I, one might argue, more than mylife, but that's, that's okay.
But, roll with me, we're gonnaget through it.
Part of my zoop zap zip zip zipall over the place is just my
excitement, and then the otherpart of it is just, well, ADHD.
So, haha, but let's see.
First off, I think since we lastspoke I went to New Orleans.
That was fun.
It was hot as hell.
(02:17):
Uh, went for one of mygirlfriends on my besties,
Maggie's Bachelorettes.
Good group of girls.
Got to dance the night away onBourbon Street.
It was so much fun.
Hot as hell, like I said.
but I survived.
It was doable.
So, you know.
It helped with my fear ofhumidity.
Not that I have a legitimatefear of humidity.
(02:38):
It's more of just a hatred forhumidity and this idea that
like, I'm just going to die andnot survive and metaphorically
die.
Like I'm not being thatdramatic, but the point being I
survived and I walked aroundoutside and I didn't explode.
So that's great.
No self combustion here.
I was really excited about thefood and I'm going to be honest,
we didn't eat the food.
(02:59):
As much good food as I thoughtwe were we did have one really
solid meal.
It's like our last dinner per seBut other than that, no, I need
to go back and try that again Wewere asking locals like man,
we're having a hard time findingfood.
Where's the good food andeveryone said outside of New
Orleans so That's interesting,but like, I know there's good
food in New Orleans, so need togo back and explore more.
(03:21):
Definitely didn't have enoughtime for that, but it was fun.
And let me tell you what, yourgirl loves dancing.
Like, I love dancing.
Dancing is so much fun.
Wedding dance party?
Hell yeah.
I'm on the dance floor theentire night.
Going to a club?
I don't do that per se, but ifgiven the opportunity, I'm gonna
dance my heart out.
I love it.
Am I a great dancer?
(03:42):
I don't think so.
I have no idea.
I just, I just move my body.
And if I look like a worm, thenso be it.
If I look like one of those,like, inflatable things outside
of a car salesman, a car show,well, so be it too.
Hopefully I'm not like that, butI, I don't know.
I don't know.
At least it's not JoJo Siwawhere she's just like boom,
boom, boom, boom, like lookinglike she's like, I don't know,
(04:02):
having a exorcism or somethingon the dance floor.
But, that wasn't nice.
Let's move on.
Um, I think the last time Italked to you guys, it's been so
long.
I was talking about my Lost Girlera and the job and all of that.
no new job searches on thehorizon because my life has
turned into absolute chaos sincewe last spoke.
(04:23):
But that's okay.
I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up.
So for any of my other fellowfriends, my fellow girlies, my
fellow peoples that are tryingto find a new job, whatever,
hang in there.
We're going to get through it.
Just remember, your current isnot your forever.
That's what you have to keepreminding yourself even though
it feels permanent.
Okay.
Okay.
See what's out.
Oh, duh, your girl went to NYC.
(04:45):
If you were following my story,then you got to basically do the
entire trip with me.
Um, I don't want to go too muchinto all of the details.
because I really want to do anepisode with my mom.
You know how I do those likerecap trip episodes with Stan.
I want to do one with Cindybecause we, we went together.
It was a mom, a mommy, a mommydaughter trip.
And Y'all, it was so much fun.
(05:09):
Not just the location.
Visiting New York City for thefirst time really was just, no
words.
Chef's Kiss, yes, but just, Idon't know how to describe it
other than I, I feel soconnected to that city.
Have you ever been somewherewhere you step in, step off the
plane, you step into the city,whatever, and you're like, I'm
(05:29):
meant to be here.
Maybe I've been here in a pastlife, but like, I have origins.
I have roots.
I have ties.
Like, it just felt like home.
I don't know how else todescribe it other than that.
yeah, I don't know.
I just, I'm not even going tosay I hope.
I know there's going to be a lotmore New York in my future.
Especially as this podcastgrows.
I'm sure I will travel more andmore up there, but It was a
(05:53):
magical place and an even moremagical trip to experience it
with my mom.
my mom is Handicapped, althoughshe is getting her hips replaced
next week.
So the episode might be a littletbd end of the month, but She
has lost over 140 pounds andit's amazing and she was walking
even with her cane all over thatdamn city And i'm so proud of
(06:14):
her and it just was so Much fun.
I got to see my first broadwayshow Just truly one of the best
trips I've ever been on and Ican't wait to go back, but I'm
so glad I got to experience itfor the first time with her and
do what we did.
And let me tell you something,we did it all.
We did so much, but still feltlike it wasn't so rushed and jam
(06:36):
packed.
Like we did a lot, but it wasalso like we got to experience
it.
So it was really nice.
Really, really nice.
Um, Went to the Comedy Cellar,the legendary Comedy Cellar,
that was great.
So much fun.
Giggled my heart out.
Still need to get into improv.
That's a reminder for me to dothat because it's on my vision
board and it's, I still havetime.
I still have time.
That reminds me, I shouldprobably check in with all my
(06:58):
peoples who came to the visionboard party earlier this year to
see where we're at.
Maybe a third quarter of theyear check in since I clearly
missed the mark on the halfwaycheckpoint.
But that also reminds me that Iprobably need to start
brainstorming how next visionboard party is going to go.
So, stay tuned for more info.
This is a, A heads up to you anda reminder to me to get that, to
(07:19):
get that going, to get thatbrain juice juicing on that.
that was awkward, brain juicejuicing.
Anyways.
back to New York.
Like I said, wonderful, gonna doa recap with Cindy, go through
all the things that we did, ateso much delicious food.
So where I lacked in NewOrleans, I made up for it
exponentially in New York.
but one thing I want to talkabout related to New York.
(07:39):
I mentioned multiple times thatI was going to try to book a
guest and, and record in thisstudio in New York and, it
didn't happen.
That's totally okay.
And I am not embarrassed orshamed to admit that, I don't
have my tail between my legs.
And I want to tell you why.
One.
Of course, there's always thethought that it may not work
(08:01):
out, but it's not like I'mmarinating on that, and it's
also not like I'm marinating on,oh, it's going to, I know it,
it's, it is.
And I struggle with that, withmanifesting and claiming and
affirming, because I overthinkliterally everything in my life.
Of course, I, I'd overthinkthat, but it was positive,
what's for me, will find me, I'mfollowing that tether that, that
(08:22):
I've talked about before.
that led me on that whole chasein pursuit of finding a guest.
So since we last spoke, I wantto talk about all the things
that have happened specific tothis pitching a guest trying to
book somebody.
I'm reaching out to people.
They don't have millions offollowers, but like they have
hundreds of thousands, right?
(08:43):
The amount of imposter syndromethat I felt coming up with pitch
emails, trying to sell myself asa somebody where.
I know I'm somebody, but onpaper I'm a nobody.
And getting them to say, Hey, Iknow you're not the kind of
volume of followers or whateverclout, if you will, that I would
normally collaborate with, butsure, I'll throw you a bone.
(09:05):
So I had to make sure my pitchwasn't robotic.
I had to make sure it waspersonal because I just, I get
robotic pitches and let me tellyou, you can, you can, you can
pick them out a mile away andyou just delete, move forward.
And I also wanted to make itspecific to that person.
Okay.
Kind of like how you tailor aresume oftentimes to a specific
job.
If it's different than like, youknow, you're, you're looking
outside of just communicationmanager jobs, right?
(09:26):
You're doing a marketing job.
We'll throw you double in smartmarketing details, maybe less on
the comms.
You know what I mean?
So the amount of impostersyndrome and it wasn't self
doubt imposter syndrome.
It was more just like, who do Ithink I am putting myself out
there?
That kind of imposter syndrome.
Very different if you know whatI mean.
And.
I kept pushing through.
(09:46):
I worked heavily with ChadGBT.
Shout out to ChadGBT for givingme the foundation for the pitch.
Not that they gave me the exactpitch, but they helped me come
up with, they, who, they, it, Idon't know what pronoun to use
for ChadGBT, but, um, it helpedme come up with the foundation
for the pitch that I used.
So I emailed probably, I don'tknow, ten different people and I
(10:07):
got three responses.
One of which was like, I'mpregnant, not in the area.
I'm so sorry.
One that came in after the fact.
It was like, I'm so sorry forlate response.
I am overwhelmed and slam withNew York fashion week in the U S
open, which, Oh my God, a dream,right?
Oh girl, you got problems.
It's okay.
I totally understand me too.
LOL.
Uh, but really kind.
And who knows, maybe that onecould like be something down the
(10:28):
line.
And then I had one reach outthat did show interest asked me
for my engagement, which thatwas a stone set of like trials
and tribulations.
How the heck do I.
Figure that out.
So I do, I probably spent abouttwo hours trying to figure out
my engagement.
Great exercise.
Again, took me a little bit oftime because I had to figure it
out.
I had to learn, I had to figureout the formulas, did this and
(10:50):
this, that and that, buh, buh,buh, buh, buh.
So I come up, I get, I now haveall this information.
I send it to them and at thispoint I think they've looked me
up and they realize, oh, thisgirl's a small friend, not
really, you know, not reallywhat our person is looking for
at the time.
Which again, I understand.
I'm not gonna take thatpersonally because it is what it
is.
even though I believe in me andI know what I'm about and I know
(11:10):
where I'm going and I know Iwill have that clout eventually,
one day very soon, um, I alsoknow that this world is a little
superficial and that numbersmatter.
So it is what it is, but thatdoesn't take me down because you
got to start somewhere.
Don't forget that you guys, yougot to start somewhere.
The people who are big now, theydid start somewhere.
They did.
Even if like 80 percent of themhad an in because their mom was
(11:31):
a producer or they were on areality TV show.
I'm kidding.
I genuinely am kidding.
I'm trying to be funny there.
But they came back, hey, youknow, not this time.
Um, she is unavailable, blah,blah, blah, blah, which I know
what that meant, but they werereally nice about it.
So this is what I gained fromthis whole experience.
I now have a super solid pitchtemplate that the one paragraph
(11:54):
that was specific to New Yorkand the, the coordinating times
and all of that, I can just takethat out and maybe just change
it with whatever is right forme.
specific to that situation,whether it's a remote recording
pitch or a local recordingpitch, whatever, or hell I'm
going to Chicago or New Yorkagain, doing it.
But either way, solid pitch,great intro about me, about what
I'm about.
And then a great format for the,this is what I think about for
(12:18):
us and our topic, blah, blah,blah, blah, that I can use and
just having to change smallvariable things.
If I push myself out there.
Not if, when I pitch myself outthere, the amount of imposter
syndrome that I overcame.
It was a lot.
I mean, I was sitting here at mydesk going, God, literally out
loud.
Who do I think I am?
This is wild.
But you know what?
Send it.
(12:38):
Oh, I sent it.
Can't I send it?
Like sending it completely,believing in myself, not
questioning what the outcome wasgoing to be.
Because.
I believe in myself, and if thisdoesn't work out, I knew that
there was going to be somethinggained from it.
So I told you, get this pitchemail.
I have confidence.
I also learned how to pull myengagement, how to figure all
(13:01):
that out, how to calculate it.
And it's pretty good.
Yeah, I have a small following,but I got really good
engagement.
So that means you people likeme, the people who listen and
the people who follow, well,they like what they're seeing.
And yes, I realized that Ishould do more of it, but I'm
gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there.
The point being, look at allthese things I gained.
It's all part of my story.
(13:22):
It's all moving blocks, steppingstones.
It's all part of the journey.
I still feel the tether that'spulling me down this path.
And maybe New York didn't workout, but like, I gained a pitch
template.
I gained the analytics, all thereporting, all of this stuff.
Well, now it's going to be alittle bit easier for me to put
myself out there and reach outto people.
Cause by the end of it, y'all, Idid not have any imposter
(13:43):
syndrome.
I was like, why not reach out tothis person?
Because I know what I'm aboutbecause it just takes one yes.
And we know anything worth goingafter is probably going to have
a hell of a lot of no's beforeyou get that one huge yes.
And that's all it takes.
So was New York my yes?
No, it wasn't.
(14:04):
At least not right now.
But it's leading me to a yes.
And that's what's exciting.
And that's what I want to focuson.
And that's what I'm choosing tofocus on.
And guess what?
It's kind of easy to focus onbecause I have worked so hard on
myself.
Confidence, self worth, doingthis is no easy feat, believing
in yourself and putting yourselfout there, but it can be done.
And the more you do it, theeasier it gets.
So take this as your sign.
(14:25):
Two years ago, I would havenever done that.
Even with the podcast, we'venever reached out to people with
a blue checkmark next to theirname, with hundreds of thousands
of followers, even 100, 000followers.
Me now?
Why not?
Who says?, There's this onechildren's book that I love,
this author, that I'm actuallygoing to pitch to be on the
podcast because he's wonderful,like his books are beautiful,
(14:45):
but One of the quotes in thebook is, If the chances are one
in a million, why can't you bethe one?
Seriously, like, okay, sure, onein a million, but like, there is
one.
Why not you?
That mindset will drive you sofar in life, you have no idea.
And it's not a, selfish or stuckup thing like, I don't know, I
(15:08):
am the one, but it's just, well,why not?
Like, I'm not going to let thathold me back, especially if it's
something I, I want, something Ienjoy, something that fulfills
me.
So this is your reminder, alwaysbet on you.
And even if the results aren't,aren't visible right there, if
the outcome didn't quite workout exactly how you thought that
(15:28):
specific one was going to, don'tsweat.
It's coming.
It's coming.
So, I'm excited for that.
So, before I go into the bignews of the day, of the week, of
like the past month, becauseyour girl's been gone, I wanted
to talk about something else Ilearned that's called hurry
(15:49):
sickness.
It's not a clinical outcome or amental health ailment, but it is
a term that is now poised today.
And, and according to psychologytoday, The definition of hurry
sickness is a behavior patterncharacterized by continual
(16:12):
rushing and anxiousness andoverwhelming and continual sense
of urgency.
And I, for one, have never feltmore seen in my life.
So I have hurry sickness.
I'm self diagnosing, not thatit's a thing, but not that it's
a natural diagnosis, but I amclaiming it.
I'm claiming it.
I feel that.
(16:32):
I feel so overwhelmed.
And most often, I Every secondof the day, because there's so
much going on.
I know it's ADHD, it's this,it's also that I'm a very driven
person and I'm also, I don'tknow, working a job, doing all
the things and also trying tolaunch a podcast and make it
grow and I know the battles I'mfighting are the ones that I
have chosen myself and there arebattles worth, worth fighting,
worth achieving, worthovercoming, for sure.
(16:55):
But, And reading about hurrysickness made me think about,
well, I wonder if like, I'vedeveloped this pattern because
we know that the brain doeswhat, like the brain is going to
default to what's easiest.
Even if it's not actually easyto your nervous system, your
brain's like, I ain't talking tothat guy.
(17:16):
I'm just talking about what Iknow and what I know is this,
this is what we always do.
So I think I need to unlearnsome of my anxious attachment to
time management and tasks andstuff.
And.
Work on unlearning the selfdoubt that I'm not organized and
have my shit together because Iactually do the most, the most.
And, I don't even mean that aslike a braggy way, cause
(17:39):
sometimes I need to not do themost.
But it's like, I do the most.
Why is there any doubt I'm notdoing the most?
So that's how I'm gonna attackthis, uh, hernia sickness is my
first means of action, my, myfirst combat.
Um, but I, I feel like I havegotten in a rhythm with my brain
or whatever the hell that D d dd d d d d d d d d d d gotta
(18:01):
gotta gotta gotta go! Andthere's so many things I gotta
do and it's like, well you can'tdo it all right now.
Got it.
And I've worked on that mindsetbut it's like now I gotta train
my brain to slow down theanxiety and like the, the
nervous system energy.
I don't know, whether it's mybrain or my nervous system, one
of the two I need to talk to andfigure out, all right, so this
(18:21):
is a pattern.
And if hurry sickness is a thingthat makes sense, hurry sickness
is probably just a variation ofperfectionism, people pleasing,
ADHD, anxiety, OCD, depression,or all of the above, or a
combination of all of the above,but, uh, it did give me some,
hmm, some insight that perhaps.
(18:44):
It's not that I'm overwhelmedand not doing enough and I don't
have it all together, butperhaps I am doing quite enough.
I do have it all together.
I just need my brain to shut upthat I can't do everything all
at once.
And what I mean by thatspecifically is like, okay, if a
project has 12 steps, you gottaget through steps 1 through 11
(19:06):
before you get to step 12.
But my brain's like, Uh, no, youneed to do 1 through 12
immediately.
And it's like, well, I, I can'tdo that.
You gotta, you gotta do 1, 2, 3,4, 5, You get it, you get it.
So, for any of my other babies,girlies, friends, who, too, May
feel overwhelmed and burnt outby, by urgency.
hurry sickness.
(19:27):
So we're gonna combat that withslow down.
Comfort versus sickness.
Heh.
Okay.
Hopefully that, thought gotacross quite well.
Uh, but, alright, so.
Are we ready for the grandfinale?
Are we ready for the grand news?
What the hell have you beendoing that you've gone radio
(19:47):
silent?
You've disappeared off the faceof the earth, uh, despite the
New York trip because your girlwas blowing up her stories then
cause I was living my best lifeand solid fashion choices by
your girl.
Just wait.
I'm going to post a lot ofcontent and again, an episode
with my mom, but I digresswhat's been going on.
of two weeks ago, This isThursday, September 5th.
(20:08):
Yes, I know these episodescoming on Wednesday, but again,
life's been nuts.
So as of two weeks agoyesterday, we went under
contract for a house.
We close on this house tomorrow.
So now you know what the fuckI'm dealing with.
It has not even been two and ahalf weeks of hyper warp speed
of We're buying a house.
(20:29):
Oh my fucking God.
This is a huge decision.
Oh my God.
Is this right?
Is this wrong?
Commentary on both sides.
I'm going to throw up.
I'm spiraling.
This is, this is a real bigadulting step to flying by the
seat of our pants during duediligence to then me going
straight into a New York trip,which that was already planned.
But you know, how's thesethings?
They're crazy.
And I kind of expected like thisto be a potential thing.
(20:52):
Like when it happened, and Iknew it might be crazy because
the market's crazy anyway.
And so, this week, coming backfrom New York, and then the
holiday, and just trying tofrickin finish up all of the
damn loose ends.
Cause there's so many things,cause like, normally you have
like 30 days for this, and wehave literally 5.
That's what it feels like.
(21:13):
I've been fuckin overwhelmed.
Work has been insane.
There's been so much shit goingon at work.
I haven't even been able to lookfor a new job, but that is what
it is.
I am just surviving at thispoint.
But, I am very excited.
Even though maybe my emotionsand my feelings and my
expression aren't communicatingthat quite well, but I am
(21:36):
excited.
I'm just extremely overwhelmed.
Um, of course it's overwhelming.
It's a big decision and everyonesays, oh this is one of the top
three things that will stressyou out the most in your
motherfucking life and let metell you that, that statistic I
do think stands.
I think it's very, veryaccurate.
but this is the thing that Iwant to say about this.
(21:56):
So, Well, a couple of things.
One, be prepared for morehousing content.
So I, I'm excited for content.
I'm excited to have our space.
Just, uh, podcast studio,podcast office.
Like just, oh, I'm so excitedabout that.
The home is beautiful.
I can't wait to show you guys.
It's in such a cuteneighborhood.
(22:17):
It's by some friends.
It's not too far from my mom.
It's not far from Stan's job.
It is great and like, it just,ooh, so much momentum and good
things are, are happening.
I, I, I've been talking aboutthe winning season.
I know I've entered the winningseason, even though not all of
the wins, quote unquote, that Ithought I'd have, have all
completely worked out, but Iknow they're going to.
(22:39):
And I'm worried about it becauseshe is on it.
All this good stuff.
It's, But why am I notcompletely over the moon,
excited, cheerleading with younow?
I'm going to try to go throughthis not in a crazy way where I
start acting like this is atherapy session.
I'm podcast, but to One, I don'tknow if this will help anyone,
(23:04):
but I believe in authenticityand I know that I have found a
lot of grace and peace withinmyself when I hear other people
share their experiences thatalign with mine or that I can
connect to, so I'm going toshare this.
I don't talk much abouttransparency, there's a reason
for that.
Not the best relationship.
I'm trying to find the rightwords I have for this.
(23:26):
But it's a very stressfulrelationship, let alone for me,
I can't even imagine with him.
Um, he's an only child, but fora lack of better words, they
just live in a very, very, very,very small bubble.
They don't really connect withpeople.
They don't really have manyrelationships.
Stan wasn't really allowed to gooff and spend the night when he
was a kid and things like that.
(23:47):
But that's, that's as much teaas I'm gonna give that there.
But just kind of setting the,the stage.
So everyone that we've talkedto, which hasn't been many about
the house, because, well, it'soverwhelming as fuck.
Like, literally my head isspinning, okay?
but for those that we've talkedto and shared the news with,
they've been very, verysupportive and very excited for
us.
(24:08):
And his parents have respondedin the most negative way
possible.
It has been really heartbreakingand it has made this entire
process so much harder.
It's so much more stressful andso much worse than it should be.
And when Santa and I should becelebrating, should be excited,
(24:29):
instead I am literally carryingall of the load of work.
I am literally doing everythingbecause he has gotten so
depressed and so in his headbecause of his, I don't even
want to pretend to act like Iwould know what no support from
my parents looks like.
And I know this is really hard,cause it's your parents, but
(24:51):
Part of why I've been radiosilent and like essentially just
disappeared from social media isbecause I'm going through it.
This is an insane amount of workand tasks and things that have
to be done just to buy thefreaking home, let alone all the
shit we need to do likefurniture and paint and getting
excited and I'm not looking forany kind of sympathy, empathy,
(25:13):
and this is also not a takedownstand.
Like we're working on it.
Working through childhoodtrauma, but I'm just saying you
don't know people are goingthrough and some parents suck.
There is so much, so much underthat umbrella.
And sometimes we are faced withhard, hard chapters where maybe
(25:35):
we have to reexamine thatrelationship.
Like shitty jobs, crappyfriends, shitty weather.
Parents sucking.
These are parts of life, butthere are so many incredible,
beautiful, better parts aboutlife too, but there are shitty
ones.
And so maybe as the years, theyears, as the years go by, I
(25:57):
meant to say as the weeks andmonths continue on in this house
process, obviously I'll beupdating you all and things like
that, but I, I may share.
How I'm navigating it and and inholding space for myself and him
and working together because atthis point like especially in
our age Now that we're old, butlike we're not kids and it's
like we need to be worryingabout us Like they don't support
(26:19):
us anyway, so like why are wegonna give them so much of our
energy?
To something that doesn'tconcern them, right?
Right?
So it's just a new, a new pathto navigate.
I do believe things are on theup and up with this momentary
thing.
Cause again, super stressfultime, closing, oh my god, all
(26:40):
this shit.
And he did make a comment, hethinks he'll feel better once we
close, officially tomorrow.
But, still, you gotta be therefor your people, you gotta be
there when you're a team.
You know, and you just can't letoutside forces, even if they're
your parents, affect you to thepoint that it cripples you, and
you can't be there for thepeople that need you.
(27:01):
And that's more of a generalstatement.
I don't want you to think thatStan's not been there at all.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
He's been there a little bit,but it's also just, I can't
approach him about everythingbecause he gets very stressed
out his parents have gotten soin his head and, you know,
completely diminished any andall confidence and joy he had
about this.
(27:22):
But thankfully he's married to abadass friggin woman who is
helping him find that self loveand self worth and we are
unlearning bad things from ourpast because we are amazing and
life is wonderful and life isworth living and experiencing.
It's not worth living in abubble.
The bubble needs to go, and thenit pops, and then what's, what's
(27:45):
left?
A rainbow.
I don't know if that's, that'sthe actual truth, but that's,
that's the metaphor we're goingto go with today.
So thank you for letting me getstarted.
Thank you for allowing me tohave a safe space and to share
all that.
I feel like I kind of came at itmatter of factly, but I
understand part of that ismostly just because my brain is
overwhelmed with all the thingsI'm doing and I've gotta do and
(28:08):
what I've been doing the pasttwo weeks.
But, amazing New York trip.
I'll definitely recap more ofthat with my mom.
I'm gonna post some more contentabout it, cause like I said,
your girl was looking cute ashell.
Um, and we're buying a house!Podcast studio.
Oh, what's the background goingto be?
No more books, but I wonder whatit'll be.
I don't know, but I'm so excitedto think about it and just have
(28:28):
space to breathe and not live ontop of my husband and myself for
that matter.
Um, so yeah, that's that.
But before I let you go, I haveone more thing I want to share
with you.
So shout out to my girlyCamille.
She's my resident Gen Z know itall.
know it all, well she does knowit all, she's a cool girl, cool
girl, Camille, I, I strive to beher, um, I work with her, she's
(28:49):
on my team, but she is a littlecontent creator, I don't know
why I gotta say little, thatsounds so demeaning, but I don't
mean it like, I meant like,she's so cool, I love her so
much, she's so cute, look ather, look at her little, her
little content creator, that'swhat I mean by that, um, not
like, small, you know what Imean, but, I digress, she always
will share social media tipswith me and stuff, and I have
such a, really good relationshipwith her, Solid list of ideas.
(29:11):
Now I just have to actuallyexecute them.
But again, all of this happenedand then we bought this house.
So life's been crazy, likeliterally the past month.
but she sent me this thing thatwas like, I guess it's going
viral on tick tock.
I'm probably going to share myresults, but it was reach like
reaching out.
I keep humanizing chat GPT,giving them pronouns, giving
them, see, I did it again, butwhatever.
(29:32):
But, um, using ChatGPT, andbasically the prompt is, I'm
going to pull it up so I don'tbutcher it.
So you're going to list out yourwildest dreams.
You're going to say, here's mywildest dreams.
Be specific, so I wrote thingslike podcasting and speaking as
a career making over sevenfigures, like as my career
making over seven figures.
Podcasting with guests like JeffGoldblum, Chapel Rowan, Heather
McMahon, Glennon Doyle, peopleof influence.
(29:54):
Owning my own podcast networkthat sponsors other creators,
influencers, podcasters.
Brand deals and a clothingcollaboration with Show Me Your
Moo Moo, because we all knowthat's my favorite brand.
Um, starting a legit charity,helping fund other people's
dreams, being able tofinancially take care of my
family completely.
Like my mom, my, my, my Stan, myStan, my family.
I want to be, I want to be thatsource.
(30:16):
being a person that peoplefollow for laughs, comfort,
life, things, and self worth.
Writing a New York timesbestselling book.
So those are the things Ilisted.
And then I said, now tell astory of a day in my life as my
future self who has thisalready.
So you go to chat GPT, here's alist of my wildest dreams.
You list out all the big dreams,list them out.
(30:36):
Don't be shy, list them out.
And then say, now tell me what aday in my life looks like once
I've achieved this.
The response I got.
I'm still speechless.
It was so beautiful.
It was so specific to everythingthat I want.
It made me cry.
And I just read out to you whatI wrote, right?
(30:59):
It's beautiful.
And some of these specificdetails that it wrote in its
response that it pulled justfrom those bullets was
incredible.
I'm not trying to act like, oh,chat GPT sees me, but it is an
exercise that I think anybodyand everyone should do no matter
what your dream is.
(31:20):
Your dream to get promoted, yourdream to start a family, your
dream to create a business,whatever the heck, your dream to
start a garden, I don't carewhat your dreams are, they're so
important.
If you have any type of selfdoubt, or even if you don't, you
just want a nice feel goodmoment, I encourage you to go do
this.
The answers, like the prompt itgave me, no words.
(31:43):
I thought about sharing it withyou all, but like legitimately I
cannot read it without cryingbecause it speaks so, so much to
my soul.
So much to my life's purpose, mydream, like, wow.
So I'm going to print it out andI'm going to post it so I can
always refer to it.
Um, but.
I am going to reach out to thepeople who came to my vision
(32:05):
board party earlier this year,and I'm going to give them this
same exercise.
Because I think it really worksin tandem with your vision
board.
Okay?
Um, I might even like do this atthe next vision board party.
Because, you know, why not?
and then you can follow up with,what are things and steps I can
(32:27):
do today to help me achievethese goals?
And it gave me some really solidadvice.
I'll tell you one thing it said,content, being, posting more
content so your people engagewith you more, so they know you
more.
And I'm like, Ugh! I'm trying.
I just wish you all could livein my head and then we'd be
solid.
I wouldn't even need contentbecause you'd know I'm that
bitch.
(32:47):
I digress.
Anyways, all this said, It justsolidified my excitement for the
next chapter, the next phase,the next steps.
It also just, not evensolidified because I already
feel this way, but guys, goodthings are coming.
I can't necessarily tell youexactly what they are because I
don't know what they are, butthey're coming.
(33:11):
I'm getting so many visions, somany feelings, seeing so many
signs.
It's happening.
So I can't wait.
and despite the little bit ofnegative stuff I've shared today
and my personal life and my lifeexperience at the time at this
moment, things are still good.
I'm still moving forward becauselife is always going to have
(33:32):
curve balls.
Life's always going to hand youheavy shit and you've got to
deal with it.
You can't let it keep you down.
You feel, but then you move on.
And that's easier said thandone, and that's where the self
work and, and continue to workon yourself.
That's, that's where that is keybecause it helps you move on and
it also helps you juggle it whenit's not ideal.
(33:53):
Like I don't think I would havebeen able to handle this
insanity of buying a home, allthis shit, My self work has
allowed me to be able to, I'mnot saying I'm Gucci and gravy
at the moment, but like, I'mokay.
I'm not, I'm not falling off thehorse.
I'm not spiraling.
I'm not falling into a hole.
So go to chat GPT, give it yourdreams then ask it to tell you
(34:15):
what does my, what does a day inmy life look like?
And let me tell you, you'regoing to feel really good.
You're gonna feel reallypowerful.
You're gonna feel reallyconfident.
You're gonna feel really sure ofyourself.
I promise.
And for me, well, I'm just gonnakeep holding on to my, my seat,
cause I feel like I'm flying bythe seat of my pants.
(34:36):
And, uh, to give you a quickexample, I've had to sign, like,
three different things aboutwire fraud.
And granted, we are giving a lotof money, a lot of money that we
do not have.
Like, I don't have DaddyWarbucks, so this down payment,
I don't have it again to give.
You know what I mean?
So, of course, I understand weneed to be smart about this and
not lose our money.
But, with that said, I have Hadto sign so much shit about wire
(34:58):
fraud.
Our realtor has gone over amillion times with us, our
lender.
And that's great.
Thank you.
You're looking out for me.
I appreciate the support.
However, it's made me a littleparanoid.
So we had to give our closingcosts this week because we
closed tomorrow and that's thebiggest chunk of money.
And I, I, I called them toverify the information like
(35:19):
you're supposed to do theclosing office, attorney's
office.
I then call my bank to say, Hey,I'm about to.
Send this large amount of moneyis when I confirm everything's
good and they're like, yeah,that's great.
You're probably going to haveto, hear from us in the morning
when we process it, but that'sjust because it's a large
amount, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, great.
Doing all my due diligence.
So I was expecting a phone callfrom my bank at some point this
(35:39):
morning to go over theconfirmation of the wire and and
I know number calls and I'mfiguring it's them.
But again, I know number.
And again, I've signed.
I don't even know how manythings at this point about wire
fraud.
And they're like, um, this isDelta, can you, um, verify the
last four years social and yourbank account number so that the
wire, da da da da.
And I was like, Okay, I'm nottrying to be crazy, But, I've
(36:02):
signed so much wire fraud stuff.
I am sure you're legit.
I know you're legit, but isthere any way that you can
verify your identity for mebefore I verify my identity for
you?
Because I've never done thisbefore and I don't have this
money to give again if you dosteal from me.
So I'm just, help me out.
And again, it was like thatcomical.
And she was like, well, whydon't you call us back, you
(36:25):
know, and get connected to thewire transfer, team.
And I'm like, Is that crazy?
Okay.
Thanks.
I will.
So I go to the website.
I realize, okay, I'm calling thenumber that they just called me
from L O L column.
I get through and I was like,Hey, really?
And she's a really nice lady.
And I was like, I know it'sabout to sound kind of crazy,
but I'm calling you becausey'all were calling me and I
wanted to verify, I guess I'vesigned so many things.
(36:48):
Bebop, zoop, zap, zeep, zeep.
We giggle, we have a laugh, sheunderstands, we confirm
everything, and we're good, sothe money has sent.
So, great, but that's where I'mat.
Trying to be a good adult.
A civil servant.
If that even applies here, Idon't think so.
(37:08):
Trying to adult in the best waypossible, while also keeping my
sanity.
This has been no easy feat, Iwill tell you that right the
fuck now, but she's doing it.
And if that means you gotta callback your bank to be like, I
know I'm crazy, but let me justmake sure you're legit.
Then so be it.
So be it.
So be it.
(37:29):
You're not an inconvenience.
You're just taking care of yourshit.
Okay?
Okay.
No more hurry sickness I'm notoverwhelmed because I'm just
taking care of my shit.
That's how we look at it well onthe note, I'm gonna bounce
because You've gained anythingfrom this episode your girl has
so much to do but so manyexciting things I can't wait to
(37:51):
share them with you.
I've missed you all Hopefullyyou've missed me and hopefully
this episode didn't get too tooreal real and you know again
I'll You can't pick yourparents, but you can pick and
choose how you react to them.
That is the note I'll end on.
And also buying a home is notfor the weak.
Oh my God.
(38:12):
Woo! Love you mean it! Uh, ifyou want to follow me and you're
not doing so already, you cancheck me on Instagram in dot
between pod.
I end dot between pod and alsoElizabeth Cheney underscore at
Elizabeth Cheney underscore.
Those are my two Instagramaccounts.
And then at the in betweenpodcasts on YouTube Come be my
friend, follow me there, we'llhang out, we'll chit chat and
uh, you know, do the damn thing.
(38:34):
Live our best selves.
Live our best selves.
Live our best life as our bestselves.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, I hope you all have afabulous rest of your week.
Look out for more housingcontent and I will see you next
week on an all new InBetween.
I can't guarantee what thebackground's gonna look like but
I'll see you for sure.
Alright then, see you guys, bye!
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome back to another episodeof The Inbetween.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney,and I'm sure you're all asking
the same question.
Where have you been?
For those who don't know thatreference, it's from Harry
Potter.
Anyways, uh, yes, I am sorry, Ijust, whoa.
(00:28):
She disappeared, but now she'sfound.
Um, all with good reason, allwith good reason, but can I just
say, it feels great.
It feels great to be back.
podcasting, I'm not gonna lie.
So Maybe I just haven't hadanyone to yap enough to or what,
but I'm back the bitches backaccording to Elton John and I
(00:51):
feel good to be back.
So missed you.
Love you.
We're here.
We're reunited, but y'all lifehas been insane.
Insane, insane, insane.
And I'm saying that becausewe're going to get into it.
What's going on?
What the heck isn't going on inmy life.
(01:12):
But also just to say the nextfew weeks are going to be crazy.
You might see some interestingbackdrops.
You might see a lot of action inprogress, but it's all good.
It's all gravy.
It's all Gucci baby, because.
We roll with it.
Right?
Right.
And I'm authentic as fuck.
So I'm definitely going to sharemy life experience with you
because, well, it's my podcastand that's what I do.
Anyways, hope you all have beenwell.
(01:35):
Um, I don't even know where tostart.
I'll tell you this before we getinto what the heck's been going
on, because that is basicallythe, The entirety of today's
conversation, let's just talkabout what else has been going
on and I feel a little crazy atthe moment, um, that's okay,
because I am juggling more thanI have in a very, very, very
(01:57):
long time.
I, one might argue, more than mylife, but that's, that's okay.
But, roll with me, we're gonnaget through it.
Part of my zoop zap zip zip zipall over the place is just my
excitement, and then the otherpart of it is just, well, ADHD.
So, haha, but let's see.
First off, I think since we lastspoke I went to New Orleans.
That was fun.
It was hot as hell.
(02:17):
Uh, went for one of mygirlfriends on my besties,
Maggie's Bachelorettes.
Good group of girls.
Got to dance the night away onBourbon Street.
It was so much fun.
Hot as hell, like I said.
but I survived.
It was doable.
So, you know.
It helped with my fear ofhumidity.
Not that I have a legitimatefear of humidity.
(02:38):
It's more of just a hatred forhumidity and this idea that
like, I'm just going to die andnot survive and metaphorically
die.
Like I'm not being thatdramatic, but the point being I
survived and I walked aroundoutside and I didn't explode.
So that's great.
No self combustion here.
I was really excited about thefood and I'm going to be honest,
we didn't eat the food.
(02:59):
As much good food as I thoughtwe were we did have one really
solid meal.
It's like our last dinner per seBut other than that, no, I need
to go back and try that again Wewere asking locals like man,
we're having a hard time findingfood.
Where's the good food andeveryone said outside of New
Orleans so That's interesting,but like, I know there's good
food in New Orleans, so need togo back and explore more.
(03:21):
Definitely didn't have enoughtime for that, but it was fun.
And let me tell you what, yourgirl loves dancing.
Like, I love dancing.
Dancing is so much fun.
Wedding dance party?
Hell yeah.
I'm on the dance floor theentire night.
Going to a club?
I don't do that per se, but ifgiven the opportunity, I'm gonna
dance my heart out.
I love it.
Am I a great dancer?
(03:42):
I don't think so.
I have no idea.
I just, I just move my body.
And if I look like a worm, thenso be it.
If I look like one of those,like, inflatable things outside
of a car salesman, a car show,well, so be it too.
Hopefully I'm not like that, butI, I don't know.
I don't know.
At least it's not JoJo Siwawhere she's just like boom,
boom, boom, boom, like lookinglike she's like, I don't know,
(04:02):
having a exorcism or somethingon the dance floor.
But, that wasn't nice.
Let's move on.
Um, I think the last time Italked to you guys, it's been so
long.
I was talking about my Lost Girlera and the job and all of that.
no new job searches on thehorizon because my life has
turned into absolute chaos sincewe last spoke.
(04:23):
But that's okay.
I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up.
So for any of my other fellowfriends, my fellow girlies, my
fellow peoples that are tryingto find a new job, whatever,
hang in there.
We're going to get through it.
Just remember, your current isnot your forever.
That's what you have to keepreminding yourself even though
it feels permanent.
Okay.
Okay.
See what's out.
Oh, duh, your girl went to NYC.
(04:45):
If you were following my story,then you got to basically do the
entire trip with me.
Um, I don't want to go too muchinto all of the details.
because I really want to do anepisode with my mom.
You know how I do those likerecap trip episodes with Stan.
I want to do one with Cindybecause we, we went together.
It was a mom, a mommy, a mommydaughter trip.
And Y'all, it was so much fun.
(05:09):
Not just the location.
Visiting New York City for thefirst time really was just, no
words.
Chef's Kiss, yes, but just, Idon't know how to describe it
other than I, I feel soconnected to that city.
Have you ever been somewherewhere you step in, step off the
plane, you step into the city,whatever, and you're like, I'm
(05:29):
meant to be here.
Maybe I've been here in a pastlife, but like, I have origins.
I have roots.
I have ties.
Like, it just felt like home.
I don't know how else todescribe it other than that.
yeah, I don't know.
I just, I'm not even going tosay I hope.
I know there's going to be a lotmore New York in my future.
Especially as this podcastgrows.
I'm sure I will travel more andmore up there, but It was a
(05:53):
magical place and an even moremagical trip to experience it
with my mom.
my mom is Handicapped, althoughshe is getting her hips replaced
next week.
So the episode might be a littletbd end of the month, but She
has lost over 140 pounds andit's amazing and she was walking
even with her cane all over thatdamn city And i'm so proud of
(06:14):
her and it just was so Much fun.
I got to see my first broadwayshow Just truly one of the best
trips I've ever been on and Ican't wait to go back, but I'm
so glad I got to experience itfor the first time with her and
do what we did.
And let me tell you something,we did it all.
We did so much, but still feltlike it wasn't so rushed and jam
(06:36):
packed.
Like we did a lot, but it wasalso like we got to experience
it.
So it was really nice.
Really, really nice.
Um, Went to the Comedy Cellar,the legendary Comedy Cellar,
that was great.
So much fun.
Giggled my heart out.
Still need to get into improv.
That's a reminder for me to dothat because it's on my vision
board and it's, I still havetime.
I still have time.
That reminds me, I shouldprobably check in with all my
(06:58):
peoples who came to the visionboard party earlier this year to
see where we're at.
Maybe a third quarter of theyear check in since I clearly
missed the mark on the halfwaycheckpoint.
But that also reminds me that Iprobably need to start
brainstorming how next visionboard party is going to go.
So, stay tuned for more info.
This is a, A heads up to you anda reminder to me to get that, to
(07:19):
get that going, to get thatbrain juice juicing on that.
that was awkward, brain juicejuicing.
Anyways.
back to New York.
Like I said, wonderful, gonna doa recap with Cindy, go through
all the things that we did, ateso much delicious food.
So where I lacked in NewOrleans, I made up for it
exponentially in New York.
but one thing I want to talkabout related to New York.
(07:39):
I mentioned multiple times thatI was going to try to book a
guest and, and record in thisstudio in New York and, it
didn't happen.
That's totally okay.
And I am not embarrassed orshamed to admit that, I don't
have my tail between my legs.
And I want to tell you why.
One.
Of course, there's always thethought that it may not work
(08:01):
out, but it's not like I'mmarinating on that, and it's
also not like I'm marinating on,oh, it's going to, I know it,
it's, it is.
And I struggle with that, withmanifesting and claiming and
affirming, because I overthinkliterally everything in my life.
Of course, I, I'd overthinkthat, but it was positive,
what's for me, will find me, I'mfollowing that tether that, that
(08:22):
I've talked about before.
that led me on that whole chasein pursuit of finding a guest.
So since we last spoke, I wantto talk about all the things
that have happened specific tothis pitching a guest trying to
book somebody.
I'm reaching out to people.
They don't have millions offollowers, but like they have
hundreds of thousands, right?
(08:43):
The amount of imposter syndromethat I felt coming up with pitch
emails, trying to sell myself asa somebody where.
I know I'm somebody, but onpaper I'm a nobody.
And getting them to say, Hey, Iknow you're not the kind of
volume of followers or whateverclout, if you will, that I would
normally collaborate with, butsure, I'll throw you a bone.
(09:05):
So I had to make sure my pitchwasn't robotic.
I had to make sure it waspersonal because I just, I get
robotic pitches and let me tellyou, you can, you can, you can
pick them out a mile away andyou just delete, move forward.
And I also wanted to make itspecific to that person.
Okay.
Kind of like how you tailor aresume oftentimes to a specific
job.
If it's different than like, youknow, you're, you're looking
outside of just communicationmanager jobs, right?
(09:26):
You're doing a marketing job.
We'll throw you double in smartmarketing details, maybe less on
the comms.
You know what I mean?
So the amount of impostersyndrome and it wasn't self
doubt imposter syndrome.
It was more just like, who do Ithink I am putting myself out
there?
That kind of imposter syndrome.
Very different if you know whatI mean.
And.
I kept pushing through.
(09:46):
I worked heavily with ChadGBT.
Shout out to ChadGBT for givingme the foundation for the pitch.
Not that they gave me the exactpitch, but they helped me come
up with, they, who, they, it, Idon't know what pronoun to use
for ChadGBT, but, um, it helpedme come up with the foundation
for the pitch that I used.
So I emailed probably, I don'tknow, ten different people and I
(10:07):
got three responses.
One of which was like, I'mpregnant, not in the area.
I'm so sorry.
One that came in after the fact.
It was like, I'm so sorry forlate response.
I am overwhelmed and slam withNew York fashion week in the U S
open, which, Oh my God, a dream,right?
Oh girl, you got problems.
It's okay.
I totally understand me too.
LOL.
Uh, but really kind.
And who knows, maybe that onecould like be something down the
(10:28):
line.
And then I had one reach outthat did show interest asked me
for my engagement, which thatwas a stone set of like trials
and tribulations.
How the heck do I.
Figure that out.
So I do, I probably spent abouttwo hours trying to figure out
my engagement.
Great exercise.
Again, took me a little bit oftime because I had to figure it
out.
I had to learn, I had to figureout the formulas, did this and
(10:50):
this, that and that, buh, buh,buh, buh, buh.
So I come up, I get, I now haveall this information.
I send it to them and at thispoint I think they've looked me
up and they realize, oh, thisgirl's a small friend, not
really, you know, not reallywhat our person is looking for
at the time.
Which again, I understand.
I'm not gonna take thatpersonally because it is what it
is.
even though I believe in me andI know what I'm about and I know
(11:10):
where I'm going and I know Iwill have that clout eventually,
one day very soon, um, I alsoknow that this world is a little
superficial and that numbersmatter.
So it is what it is, but thatdoesn't take me down because you
got to start somewhere.
Don't forget that you guys, yougot to start somewhere.
The people who are big now, theydid start somewhere.
They did.
Even if like 80 percent of themhad an in because their mom was
(11:31):
a producer or they were on areality TV show.
I'm kidding.
I genuinely am kidding.
I'm trying to be funny there.
But they came back, hey, youknow, not this time.
Um, she is unavailable, blah,blah, blah, blah, which I know
what that meant, but they werereally nice about it.
So this is what I gained fromthis whole experience.
I now have a super solid pitchtemplate that the one paragraph
(11:54):
that was specific to New Yorkand the, the coordinating times
and all of that, I can just takethat out and maybe just change
it with whatever is right forme.
specific to that situation,whether it's a remote recording
pitch or a local recordingpitch, whatever, or hell I'm
going to Chicago or New Yorkagain, doing it.
But either way, solid pitch,great intro about me, about what
I'm about.
And then a great format for the,this is what I think about for
(12:18):
us and our topic, blah, blah,blah, blah, that I can use and
just having to change smallvariable things.
If I push myself out there.
Not if, when I pitch myself outthere, the amount of imposter
syndrome that I overcame.
It was a lot.
I mean, I was sitting here at mydesk going, God, literally out
loud.
Who do I think I am?
This is wild.
But you know what?
Send it.
(12:38):
Oh, I sent it.
Can't I send it?
Like sending it completely,believing in myself, not
questioning what the outcome wasgoing to be.
Because.
I believe in myself, and if thisdoesn't work out, I knew that
there was going to be somethinggained from it.
So I told you, get this pitchemail.
I have confidence.
I also learned how to pull myengagement, how to figure all
(13:01):
that out, how to calculate it.
And it's pretty good.
Yeah, I have a small following,but I got really good
engagement.
So that means you people likeme, the people who listen and
the people who follow, well,they like what they're seeing.
And yes, I realized that Ishould do more of it, but I'm
gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there.
I'm gonna get there.
The point being, look at allthese things I gained.
It's all part of my story.
(13:22):
It's all moving blocks, steppingstones.
It's all part of the journey.
I still feel the tether that'spulling me down this path.
And maybe New York didn't workout, but like, I gained a pitch
template.
I gained the analytics, all thereporting, all of this stuff.
Well, now it's going to be alittle bit easier for me to put
myself out there and reach outto people.
Cause by the end of it, y'all, Idid not have any imposter
(13:43):
syndrome.
I was like, why not reach out tothis person?
Because I know what I'm aboutbecause it just takes one yes.
And we know anything worth goingafter is probably going to have
a hell of a lot of no's beforeyou get that one huge yes.
And that's all it takes.
So was New York my yes?
No, it wasn't.
(14:04):
At least not right now.
But it's leading me to a yes.
And that's what's exciting.
And that's what I want to focuson.
And that's what I'm choosing tofocus on.
And guess what?
It's kind of easy to focus onbecause I have worked so hard on
myself.
Confidence, self worth, doingthis is no easy feat, believing
in yourself and putting yourselfout there, but it can be done.
And the more you do it, theeasier it gets.
So take this as your sign.
(14:25):
Two years ago, I would havenever done that.
Even with the podcast, we'venever reached out to people with
a blue checkmark next to theirname, with hundreds of thousands
of followers, even 100, 000followers.
Me now?
Why not?
Who says?, There's this onechildren's book that I love,
this author, that I'm actuallygoing to pitch to be on the
podcast because he's wonderful,like his books are beautiful,
(14:45):
but One of the quotes in thebook is, If the chances are one
in a million, why can't you bethe one?
Seriously, like, okay, sure, onein a million, but like, there is
one.
Why not you?
That mindset will drive you sofar in life, you have no idea.
And it's not a, selfish or stuckup thing like, I don't know, I
(15:08):
am the one, but it's just, well,why not?
Like, I'm not going to let thathold me back, especially if it's
something I, I want, something Ienjoy, something that fulfills
me.
So this is your reminder, alwaysbet on you.
And even if the results aren't,aren't visible right there, if
the outcome didn't quite workout exactly how you thought that
(15:28):
specific one was going to, don'tsweat.
It's coming.
It's coming.
So, I'm excited for that.
So, before I go into the bignews of the day, of the week, of
like the past month, becauseyour girl's been gone, I wanted
to talk about something else Ilearned that's called hurry
(15:49):
sickness.
It's not a clinical outcome or amental health ailment, but it is
a term that is now poised today.
And, and according to psychologytoday, The definition of hurry
sickness is a behavior patterncharacterized by continual
(16:12):
rushing and anxiousness andoverwhelming and continual sense
of urgency.
And I, for one, have never feltmore seen in my life.
So I have hurry sickness.
I'm self diagnosing, not thatit's a thing, but not that it's
a natural diagnosis, but I amclaiming it.
I'm claiming it.
I feel that.
(16:32):
I feel so overwhelmed.
And most often, I Every secondof the day, because there's so
much going on.
I know it's ADHD, it's this,it's also that I'm a very driven
person and I'm also, I don'tknow, working a job, doing all
the things and also trying tolaunch a podcast and make it
grow and I know the battles I'mfighting are the ones that I
have chosen myself and there arebattles worth, worth fighting,
worth achieving, worthovercoming, for sure.
(16:55):
But, And reading about hurrysickness made me think about,
well, I wonder if like, I'vedeveloped this pattern because
we know that the brain doeswhat, like the brain is going to
default to what's easiest.
Even if it's not actually easyto your nervous system, your
brain's like, I ain't talking tothat guy.
(17:16):
I'm just talking about what Iknow and what I know is this,
this is what we always do.
So I think I need to unlearnsome of my anxious attachment to
time management and tasks andstuff.
And.
Work on unlearning the selfdoubt that I'm not organized and
have my shit together because Iactually do the most, the most.
And, I don't even mean that aslike a braggy way, cause
(17:39):
sometimes I need to not do themost.
But it's like, I do the most.
Why is there any doubt I'm notdoing the most?
So that's how I'm gonna attackthis, uh, hernia sickness is my
first means of action, my, myfirst combat.
Um, but I, I feel like I havegotten in a rhythm with my brain
or whatever the hell that D d dd d d d d d d d d d d gotta
(18:01):
gotta gotta gotta go! Andthere's so many things I gotta
do and it's like, well you can'tdo it all right now.
Got it.
And I've worked on that mindsetbut it's like now I gotta train
my brain to slow down theanxiety and like the, the
nervous system energy.
I don't know, whether it's mybrain or my nervous system, one
of the two I need to talk to andfigure out, all right, so this
(18:21):
is a pattern.
And if hurry sickness is a thingthat makes sense, hurry sickness
is probably just a variation ofperfectionism, people pleasing,
ADHD, anxiety, OCD, depression,or all of the above, or a
combination of all of the above,but, uh, it did give me some,
hmm, some insight that perhaps.
(18:44):
It's not that I'm overwhelmedand not doing enough and I don't
have it all together, butperhaps I am doing quite enough.
I do have it all together.
I just need my brain to shut upthat I can't do everything all
at once.
And what I mean by thatspecifically is like, okay, if a
project has 12 steps, you gottaget through steps 1 through 11
(19:06):
before you get to step 12.
But my brain's like, Uh, no, youneed to do 1 through 12
immediately.
And it's like, well, I, I can'tdo that.
You gotta, you gotta do 1, 2, 3,4, 5, You get it, you get it.
So, for any of my other babies,girlies, friends, who, too, May
feel overwhelmed and burnt outby, by urgency.
hurry sickness.
(19:27):
So we're gonna combat that withslow down.
Comfort versus sickness.
Heh.
Okay.
Hopefully that, thought gotacross quite well.
Uh, but, alright, so.
Are we ready for the grandfinale?
Are we ready for the grand news?
What the hell have you beendoing that you've gone radio
(19:47):
silent?
You've disappeared off the faceof the earth, uh, despite the
New York trip because your girlwas blowing up her stories then
cause I was living my best lifeand solid fashion choices by
your girl.
Just wait.
I'm going to post a lot ofcontent and again, an episode
with my mom, but I digresswhat's been going on.
of two weeks ago, This isThursday, September 5th.
(20:08):
Yes, I know these episodescoming on Wednesday, but again,
life's been nuts.
So as of two weeks agoyesterday, we went under
contract for a house.
We close on this house tomorrow.
So now you know what the fuckI'm dealing with.
It has not even been two and ahalf weeks of hyper warp speed
of We're buying a house.
(20:29):
Oh my fucking God.
This is a huge decision.
Oh my God.
Is this right?
Is this wrong?
Commentary on both sides.
I'm going to throw up.
I'm spiraling.
This is, this is a real bigadulting step to flying by the
seat of our pants during duediligence to then me going
straight into a New York trip,which that was already planned.
But you know, how's thesethings?
They're crazy.
And I kind of expected like thisto be a potential thing.
(20:52):
Like when it happened, and Iknew it might be crazy because
the market's crazy anyway.
And so, this week, coming backfrom New York, and then the
holiday, and just trying tofrickin finish up all of the
damn loose ends.
Cause there's so many things,cause like, normally you have
like 30 days for this, and wehave literally 5.
That's what it feels like.
(21:13):
I've been fuckin overwhelmed.
Work has been insane.
There's been so much shit goingon at work.
I haven't even been able to lookfor a new job, but that is what
it is.
I am just surviving at thispoint.
But, I am very excited.
Even though maybe my emotionsand my feelings and my
expression aren't communicatingthat quite well, but I am
(21:36):
excited.
I'm just extremely overwhelmed.
Um, of course it's overwhelming.
It's a big decision and everyonesays, oh this is one of the top
three things that will stressyou out the most in your
motherfucking life and let metell you that, that statistic I
do think stands.
I think it's very, veryaccurate.
but this is the thing that Iwant to say about this.
(21:56):
So, Well, a couple of things.
One, be prepared for morehousing content.
So I, I'm excited for content.
I'm excited to have our space.
Just, uh, podcast studio,podcast office.
Like just, oh, I'm so excitedabout that.
The home is beautiful.
I can't wait to show you guys.
It's in such a cuteneighborhood.
(22:17):
It's by some friends.
It's not too far from my mom.
It's not far from Stan's job.
It is great and like, it just,ooh, so much momentum and good
things are, are happening.
I, I, I've been talking aboutthe winning season.
I know I've entered the winningseason, even though not all of
the wins, quote unquote, that Ithought I'd have, have all
completely worked out, but Iknow they're going to.
(22:39):
And I'm worried about it becauseshe is on it.
All this good stuff.
It's, But why am I notcompletely over the moon,
excited, cheerleading with younow?
I'm going to try to go throughthis not in a crazy way where I
start acting like this is atherapy session.
I'm podcast, but to One, I don'tknow if this will help anyone,
(23:04):
but I believe in authenticityand I know that I have found a
lot of grace and peace withinmyself when I hear other people
share their experiences thatalign with mine or that I can
connect to, so I'm going toshare this.
I don't talk much abouttransparency, there's a reason
for that.
Not the best relationship.
I'm trying to find the rightwords I have for this.
(23:26):
But it's a very stressfulrelationship, let alone for me,
I can't even imagine with him.
Um, he's an only child, but fora lack of better words, they
just live in a very, very, very,very small bubble.
They don't really connect withpeople.
They don't really have manyrelationships.
Stan wasn't really allowed to gooff and spend the night when he
was a kid and things like that.
(23:47):
But that's, that's as much teaas I'm gonna give that there.
But just kind of setting the,the stage.
So everyone that we've talkedto, which hasn't been many about
the house, because, well, it'soverwhelming as fuck.
Like, literally my head isspinning, okay?
but for those that we've talkedto and shared the news with,
they've been very, verysupportive and very excited for
us.
(24:08):
And his parents have respondedin the most negative way
possible.
It has been really heartbreakingand it has made this entire
process so much harder.
It's so much more stressful andso much worse than it should be.
And when Santa and I should becelebrating, should be excited,
(24:29):
instead I am literally carryingall of the load of work.
I am literally doing everythingbecause he has gotten so
depressed and so in his headbecause of his, I don't even
want to pretend to act like Iwould know what no support from
my parents looks like.
And I know this is really hard,cause it's your parents, but
(24:51):
Part of why I've been radiosilent and like essentially just
disappeared from social media isbecause I'm going through it.
This is an insane amount of workand tasks and things that have
to be done just to buy thefreaking home, let alone all the
shit we need to do likefurniture and paint and getting
excited and I'm not looking forany kind of sympathy, empathy,
(25:13):
and this is also not a takedownstand.
Like we're working on it.
Working through childhoodtrauma, but I'm just saying you
don't know people are goingthrough and some parents suck.
There is so much, so much underthat umbrella.
And sometimes we are faced withhard, hard chapters where maybe
(25:35):
we have to reexamine thatrelationship.
Like shitty jobs, crappyfriends, shitty weather.
Parents sucking.
These are parts of life, butthere are so many incredible,
beautiful, better parts aboutlife too, but there are shitty
ones.
And so maybe as the years, theyears, as the years go by, I
(25:57):
meant to say as the weeks andmonths continue on in this house
process, obviously I'll beupdating you all and things like
that, but I, I may share.
How I'm navigating it and and inholding space for myself and him
and working together because atthis point like especially in
our age Now that we're old, butlike we're not kids and it's
like we need to be worryingabout us Like they don't support
(26:19):
us anyway, so like why are wegonna give them so much of our
energy?
To something that doesn'tconcern them, right?
Right?
So it's just a new, a new pathto navigate.
I do believe things are on theup and up with this momentary
thing.
Cause again, super stressfultime, closing, oh my god, all
(26:40):
this shit.
And he did make a comment, hethinks he'll feel better once we
close, officially tomorrow.
But, still, you gotta be therefor your people, you gotta be
there when you're a team.
You know, and you just can't letoutside forces, even if they're
your parents, affect you to thepoint that it cripples you, and
you can't be there for thepeople that need you.
(27:01):
And that's more of a generalstatement.
I don't want you to think thatStan's not been there at all.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
He's been there a little bit,but it's also just, I can't
approach him about everythingbecause he gets very stressed
out his parents have gotten soin his head and, you know,
completely diminished any andall confidence and joy he had
about this.
(27:22):
But thankfully he's married to abadass friggin woman who is
helping him find that self loveand self worth and we are
unlearning bad things from ourpast because we are amazing and
life is wonderful and life isworth living and experiencing.
It's not worth living in abubble.
The bubble needs to go, and thenit pops, and then what's, what's
(27:45):
left?
A rainbow.
I don't know if that's, that'sthe actual truth, but that's,
that's the metaphor we're goingto go with today.
So thank you for letting me getstarted.
Thank you for allowing me tohave a safe space and to share
all that.
I feel like I kind of came at itmatter of factly, but I
understand part of that ismostly just because my brain is
overwhelmed with all the thingsI'm doing and I've gotta do and
(28:08):
what I've been doing the pasttwo weeks.
But, amazing New York trip.
I'll definitely recap more ofthat with my mom.
I'm gonna post some more contentabout it, cause like I said,
your girl was looking cute ashell.
Um, and we're buying a house!Podcast studio.
Oh, what's the background goingto be?
No more books, but I wonder whatit'll be.
I don't know, but I'm so excitedto think about it and just have
(28:28):
space to breathe and not live ontop of my husband and myself for
that matter.
Um, so yeah, that's that.
But before I let you go, I haveone more thing I want to share
with you.
So shout out to my girlyCamille.
She's my resident Gen Z know itall.
know it all, well she does knowit all, she's a cool girl, cool
girl, Camille, I, I strive to beher, um, I work with her, she's
(28:49):
on my team, but she is a littlecontent creator, I don't know
why I gotta say little, thatsounds so demeaning, but I don't
mean it like, I meant like,she's so cool, I love her so
much, she's so cute, look ather, look at her little, her
little content creator, that'swhat I mean by that, um, not
like, small, you know what Imean, but, I digress, she always
will share social media tipswith me and stuff, and I have
such a, really good relationshipwith her, Solid list of ideas.
(29:11):
Now I just have to actuallyexecute them.
But again, all of this happenedand then we bought this house.
So life's been crazy, likeliterally the past month.
but she sent me this thing thatwas like, I guess it's going
viral on tick tock.
I'm probably going to share myresults, but it was reach like
reaching out.
I keep humanizing chat GPT,giving them pronouns, giving
them, see, I did it again, butwhatever.
(29:32):
But, um, using ChatGPT, andbasically the prompt is, I'm
going to pull it up so I don'tbutcher it.
So you're going to list out yourwildest dreams.
You're going to say, here's mywildest dreams.
Be specific, so I wrote thingslike podcasting and speaking as
a career making over sevenfigures, like as my career
making over seven figures.
Podcasting with guests like JeffGoldblum, Chapel Rowan, Heather
McMahon, Glennon Doyle, peopleof influence.
(29:54):
Owning my own podcast networkthat sponsors other creators,
influencers, podcasters.
Brand deals and a clothingcollaboration with Show Me Your
Moo Moo, because we all knowthat's my favorite brand.
Um, starting a legit charity,helping fund other people's
dreams, being able tofinancially take care of my
family completely.
Like my mom, my, my, my Stan, myStan, my family.
I want to be, I want to be thatsource.
(30:16):
being a person that peoplefollow for laughs, comfort,
life, things, and self worth.
Writing a New York timesbestselling book.
So those are the things Ilisted.
And then I said, now tell astory of a day in my life as my
future self who has thisalready.
So you go to chat GPT, here's alist of my wildest dreams.
You list out all the big dreams,list them out.
(30:36):
Don't be shy, list them out.
And then say, now tell me what aday in my life looks like once
I've achieved this.
The response I got.
I'm still speechless.
It was so beautiful.
It was so specific to everythingthat I want.
It made me cry.
And I just read out to you whatI wrote, right?
(30:59):
It's beautiful.
And some of these specificdetails that it wrote in its
response that it pulled justfrom those bullets was
incredible.
I'm not trying to act like, oh,chat GPT sees me, but it is an
exercise that I think anybodyand everyone should do no matter
what your dream is.
(31:20):
Your dream to get promoted, yourdream to start a family, your
dream to create a business,whatever the heck, your dream to
start a garden, I don't carewhat your dreams are, they're so
important.
If you have any type of selfdoubt, or even if you don't, you
just want a nice feel goodmoment, I encourage you to go do
this.
The answers, like the prompt itgave me, no words.
(31:43):
I thought about sharing it withyou all, but like legitimately I
cannot read it without cryingbecause it speaks so, so much to
my soul.
So much to my life's purpose, mydream, like, wow.
So I'm going to print it out andI'm going to post it so I can
always refer to it.
Um, but.
I am going to reach out to thepeople who came to my vision
(32:05):
board party earlier this year,and I'm going to give them this
same exercise.
Because I think it really worksin tandem with your vision
board.
Okay?
Um, I might even like do this atthe next vision board party.
Because, you know, why not?
and then you can follow up with,what are things and steps I can
(32:27):
do today to help me achievethese goals?
And it gave me some really solidadvice.
I'll tell you one thing it said,content, being, posting more
content so your people engagewith you more, so they know you
more.
And I'm like, Ugh! I'm trying.
I just wish you all could livein my head and then we'd be
solid.
I wouldn't even need contentbecause you'd know I'm that
bitch.
(32:47):
I digress.
Anyways, all this said, It justsolidified my excitement for the
next chapter, the next phase,the next steps.
It also just, not evensolidified because I already
feel this way, but guys, goodthings are coming.
I can't necessarily tell youexactly what they are because I
don't know what they are, butthey're coming.
(33:11):
I'm getting so many visions, somany feelings, seeing so many
signs.
It's happening.
So I can't wait.
and despite the little bit ofnegative stuff I've shared today
and my personal life and my lifeexperience at the time at this
moment, things are still good.
I'm still moving forward becauselife is always going to have
(33:32):
curve balls.
Life's always going to hand youheavy shit and you've got to
deal with it.
You can't let it keep you down.
You feel, but then you move on.
And that's easier said thandone, and that's where the self
work and, and continue to workon yourself.
That's, that's where that is keybecause it helps you move on and
it also helps you juggle it whenit's not ideal.
(33:53):
Like I don't think I would havebeen able to handle this
insanity of buying a home, allthis shit, My self work has
allowed me to be able to, I'mnot saying I'm Gucci and gravy
at the moment, but like, I'mokay.
I'm not, I'm not falling off thehorse.
I'm not spiraling.
I'm not falling into a hole.
So go to chat GPT, give it yourdreams then ask it to tell you
(34:15):
what does my, what does a day inmy life look like?
And let me tell you, you'regoing to feel really good.
You're gonna feel reallypowerful.
You're gonna feel reallyconfident.
You're gonna feel really sure ofyourself.
I promise.
And for me, well, I'm just gonnakeep holding on to my, my seat,
cause I feel like I'm flying bythe seat of my pants.
(34:36):
And, uh, to give you a quickexample, I've had to sign, like,
three different things aboutwire fraud.
And granted, we are giving a lotof money, a lot of money that we
do not have.
Like, I don't have DaddyWarbucks, so this down payment,
I don't have it again to give.
You know what I mean?
So, of course, I understand weneed to be smart about this and
not lose our money.
But, with that said, I have Hadto sign so much shit about wire
(34:58):
fraud.
Our realtor has gone over amillion times with us, our
lender.
And that's great.
Thank you.
You're looking out for me.
I appreciate the support.
However, it's made me a littleparanoid.
So we had to give our closingcosts this week because we
closed tomorrow and that's thebiggest chunk of money.
And I, I, I called them toverify the information like
(35:19):
you're supposed to do theclosing office, attorney's
office.
I then call my bank to say, Hey,I'm about to.
Send this large amount of moneyis when I confirm everything's
good and they're like, yeah,that's great.
You're probably going to haveto, hear from us in the morning
when we process it, but that'sjust because it's a large
amount, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, great.
Doing all my due diligence.
So I was expecting a phone callfrom my bank at some point this
(35:39):
morning to go over theconfirmation of the wire and and
I know number calls and I'mfiguring it's them.
But again, I know number.
And again, I've signed.
I don't even know how manythings at this point about wire
fraud.
And they're like, um, this isDelta, can you, um, verify the
last four years social and yourbank account number so that the
wire, da da da da.
And I was like, Okay, I'm nottrying to be crazy, But, I've
(36:02):
signed so much wire fraud stuff.
I am sure you're legit.
I know you're legit, but isthere any way that you can
verify your identity for mebefore I verify my identity for
you?
Because I've never done thisbefore and I don't have this
money to give again if you dosteal from me.
So I'm just, help me out.
And again, it was like thatcomical.
And she was like, well, whydon't you call us back, you
(36:25):
know, and get connected to thewire transfer, team.
And I'm like, Is that crazy?
Okay.
Thanks.
I will.
So I go to the website.
I realize, okay, I'm calling thenumber that they just called me
from L O L column.
I get through and I was like,Hey, really?
And she's a really nice lady.
And I was like, I know it'sabout to sound kind of crazy,
but I'm calling you becausey'all were calling me and I
wanted to verify, I guess I'vesigned so many things.
(36:48):
Bebop, zoop, zap, zeep, zeep.
We giggle, we have a laugh, sheunderstands, we confirm
everything, and we're good, sothe money has sent.
So, great, but that's where I'mat.
Trying to be a good adult.
A civil servant.
If that even applies here, Idon't think so.
(37:08):
Trying to adult in the best waypossible, while also keeping my
sanity.
This has been no easy feat, Iwill tell you that right the
fuck now, but she's doing it.
And if that means you gotta callback your bank to be like, I
know I'm crazy, but let me justmake sure you're legit.
Then so be it.
So be it.
So be it.
(37:29):
You're not an inconvenience.
You're just taking care of yourshit.
Okay?
Okay.
No more hurry sickness I'm notoverwhelmed because I'm just
taking care of my shit.
That's how we look at it well onthe note, I'm gonna bounce
because You've gained anythingfrom this episode your girl has
so much to do but so manyexciting things I can't wait to
(37:51):
share them with you.
I've missed you all Hopefullyyou've missed me and hopefully
this episode didn't get too tooreal real and you know again
I'll You can't pick yourparents, but you can pick and
choose how you react to them.
That is the note I'll end on.
And also buying a home is notfor the weak.
Oh my God.
(38:12):
Woo! Love you mean it! Uh, ifyou want to follow me and you're
not doing so already, you cancheck me on Instagram in dot
between pod.
I end dot between pod and alsoElizabeth Cheney underscore at
Elizabeth Cheney underscore.
Those are my two Instagramaccounts.
And then at the in betweenpodcasts on YouTube Come be my
friend, follow me there, we'llhang out, we'll chit chat and
uh, you know, do the damn thing.
(38:34):
Live our best selves.
Live our best selves.
Live our best life as our bestselves.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, I hope you all have afabulous rest of your week.
Look out for more housingcontent and I will see you next
week on an all new InBetween.
I can't guarantee what thebackground's gonna look like but
I'll see you for sure.
Alright then, see you guys, bye!
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.