October 16, 2025 • 24 mins
In this episode, Mike unpacks the hidden link between what you want, what you expect, and what you actually allow into your life. If you've ever been stuck in massive action but still can't seem to receive what you desire, this conversation reveals the missing piece: deservedness. Mike walks through the creation process — clarity, certainty, and commitment — and reveals how feeling unworthy secretly sabotages your expectations. This one changes the game.
Key Takeaways
- You Don’t Get What You Want — You Get What You Expect
Expectation is not a mindset; it’s a nervous system calibration rooted in what you feel you deserve. - Deservedness Is the Ceiling of Manifestation
If you don’t believe you deserve something, your body will reject it — no matter how badly you want it. - The Creation Process is Simple, But Not Easy
Clarity, certainty, and commitment — but the real block is the story of what you’re allowed to have. - Self-Sabotage Is Just Expectation in Disguise
When your external actions don’t match your internal deserving, you’ll unconsciously push it all away. - You Can Choose to Deserve It Now
Worthiness isn’t earned — it’s chosen. And your life will respond the moment your energy shifts.
Notable Quotes
- “You can't always have what you want, but you'll always get what you expect.”
- “When you don't expect to get it, it's because you don't believe you deserve it.”
- “The limitation of our expectation is what we do feel that we do deserve.”
- “I decided to choose to deserve it and take any condition out of the equation.”
- “God is giving us whatever we feel we deserve. God's just waiting for us to raise our deservedness game.”
Call to Action
🧘♂️ Monkify Your Money Game — 5-Week Nervous System Intensive
Already in progress — join now and catch up inside.
👉 Join the Intensive
📘 Inner World, Outer World — Now available on Amazon
A nervous system blueprint for building a life that feels like overflow.
👉 Get the Book
🎤 Live Events
- Choose Your Destiny Live — Nov 14–15, St. Louis, MO
- Gateway to Freedom — Replays and speaker highlights coming soon
💥 Ready to expect more and receive fully?
Let’s Go!
Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends
My Social Media:
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Mike Kitko is an executive self-mastery coach, speaker and author. He found external success through powerful titles, incomes, and material possessions. He ultimately fell into depression, toxic abuse of alcohol, and the near collapse of his family before he began a journey of interna
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
You ever wake up feeling like there's something
missing in your life?
You ever feel the need to escapeyour business?
Are you running your money or isyour money running?
Help you design creating a lifeso authentic and aligned with
who you really are.
You'll get excited just to wakeup.
Help you create real wealth,accepting freedom from the
inside out.
Welcome to the Inner WealthPodcast, where we learn and
(00:27):
choose to live inspired each andevery day.
Recently, I I've been on thispodcast and in other parts of my
teaching and coaching.
I've been really talking aboutuh you can't always have what
you want, but you'll always getwhat you expect.
(00:48):
And that is a powerful, powerfulinsight when you when you truly
understand it.
Now, I teach the uh creationprocess.
I mean, there's plenty ofepisodes about the creation
process.
And the creation process is verysimple.
It's uh clarity, certainty, andcommitment, whatever you get
really super clear about in yourmind when you attain certainty
(01:14):
in your body that you can haveit, that you will have it, that
it is available, and it's not anif and an it's a when.
And if you remain committed tothe process by taking inspired
action, by being patient in theprocess while the universe kind
of lines things up for you.
And if you receive it when itshows up, you'll you'll always,
you know, you'll get what youwant, but only if you expect it,
(01:41):
which is the certainty part,only if you expect it to
actually happen.
You'll you don't always get whatyou want, you get what you
expect.
Now, I there's been times whereI've gotten, you know, I haven't
gotten what I wanted because Ididn't expect it.
But there have been times that Ihave gotten what I wanted
because I expected it.
It wasn't an if and it was awhen.
(02:01):
So the way I like to wrap thistogether and simplify this is
let's say there's a there's a abowl of apples over on your
counter, and you're sitting on acouch, and and you know, you're
sitting there and you say, youknow what?
I I would I would love adelicious juicy apple.
And in that moment, you choosethe apple and you get up, take
(02:24):
some inspired action, you getup, you walk over through your
living room, into your kitchen,you reach into the bowl, you
grab the apple, and you take abite, and you you enjoy the
apple.
Now you were you got reallyclear, you used the creation
process, you got really clearabout what you wanted.
(02:46):
There was certainty in yourbody, you knew that it was
there.
Okay, you knew that the applewas there, you knew the bowl was
full, and you knew the apple wasavailable and you knew it was
there, and you knew you couldhave it.
You know that you knew if youtook some action, if you walked
your your happy ass over to thebowl of apples, you you knew in
your body there wasn't anyworry, doubt, fear, there wasn't
(03:08):
any insecurity, there wasn'tany, what if it's not there?
You had none of these insights,so you had certainty in your
body.
And then you walked over and yougrabbed the apple and you took a
bite and you enjoyed your apple.
This is the creation process inplay clarity, certainty,
commitment.
Get clear about what you want.
You can't have what you want ifyou don't know what it is.
(03:28):
The number one reason peopledon't have what they want is
because they don't know whatthey want.
Attain certainty in your body sothat you build the positive
expectation that it's not an if,it's a when.
Remove the chance and thenremain committed to the process
by taking inspired action,remaining patient in the
process, and then receiving itwhen it shows up.
(03:50):
This is the creation process,and it only works every single
time.
Now, today I was on my run.
Or I was on my run, and let meback up a second.
Just uh a few days ago, I spokeat a uh real estate meetup
called uh Gateway to Freedom.
And it's it's a two-day event inSt.
(04:11):
Louis, uh, Missouri, and it'sfull of real estate investment
speakers and experts and peoplethat really have some kind of
expertise.
And it's an awesome, powerfulevent.
It's been running three years ina row.
There will be a fourth year, buttwo out of the three years, I've
closed the event.
I've I've done, I was the lastspeaker to close it down.
(04:34):
And the only reason I didn't Ididn't uh close last year is
because I closed the first day,because the next day Angie and I
were headed to Turks and Caicos.
So that was a lot of fun.
So I did, I have spoken atGateway to Freedom all three
years, and I I anticipate I'llspeak again next year because I
love that conference, and thatconference loves me.
(04:54):
So I just spoke there and I didgo over that exact creation
process.
Get clear about what you want,attain certainty in your body by
letting go of worry, doubt,fear, resistance, any anxiety,
any pain, any panic that wouldprevent you from accepting or
allowing what you want into yourlife.
(05:15):
Take inspired action, bepatient, and receive it when it
shows up.
I taught that.
And today I was on my run,right?
Now we'll get to the place, thetime when I'm on my run.
I was on my run, running fivemiles.
I was on around mile three offive.
And uh I'm running in, well, Ilive in St.
(05:36):
Charles, Missouri, justnorthwest, the county northwest
of St.
Louis, uh, St.
Louis County.
And I'm running this beautifulspring day.
It's it's 70 degrees, probablysomewhere between 65, 68
degrees.
Just beautiful weather forrunning, and I'm just enjoying
my run.
And I'm I'm listening to a anold punk rock band that I used
(06:00):
to listen to back in the uhearly 1990s.
And and I I've never stopped, tobe honest.
But I started listening to themin the early 1990s, and the the
band is Sam I Am, S-A-M-I-A-M,Sam I am.
And I've been listening to Sam IAm for a long time, and I'm I
I'm not like any, I have noaffiliate connection with a Sam
I am.
(06:21):
They have no idea who I am, butI was listening to Sam I Am and
I've listened to this album,I've listened to this song a
billion times, all right.
And I'm I'm running and I'mlistening to this song, and I
had to I started contemplatingand I started I started
rewinding, you know, some of theteachings and I started playing
them in my mind.
And you know, you can't alwayshave what you want, but you'll
(06:43):
always get what you expect.
And just when I landed on this,on this thought, the the lyric
that I've heard a billion times,like laid right over top of it.
And the lyric is you'll get whatyou deserve.
And in that moment, I had themost powerful insight that I've
(07:05):
had in a long time.
And it adds and it amplifies,and it takes, it takes the the
creation process one stepfarther, and it takes the you
can't have everything you want,you'll always get what you
expect.
It takes that to the next level.
And I want to share what thatis.
(07:28):
To get what you want, itrequires it requires some
internal and a little bit ofexternal work.
You there's a lot of people inthis world that are in hyper
action, hyperactivity, they'rethey're taking massive action,
they're moving their ass,they're efforting like crazy,
(07:49):
and there's something inside ofthem that's in the way and
keeping them from actuallyachieving or attaining what they
want to attain.
And they're literally fightingthrough the resistance in their
body.
And one of those pieces ofresistance, and this has shown
up in my life, and and we'regonna spend the the second half
(08:10):
of this episode kind ofunpacking this.
This the most prevalentresistance that I've experienced
in my own body and in my ownlife is that I didn't deserve
what I wanted.
Now that sounds like a you knowpity party or something like
that, but when you take theconcept that you can't have
(08:32):
everything you want, you'llalways get what you expect.
And when you connect those, youget you want it, you expect it,
it'll it'll land in your lap.
You you expect it, you want it,you expect it, you'll you'll
achieve it, you'll attain it,you'll accomplish it, you you'll
(08:52):
you'll take a receipt of it.
But the expectation, if you wantsomething and you do not expect
to get it, which is thedisconnect that that's prevalent
in a lot of people's activity,you want it, you don't expect to
get it.
It's it's because, and this iswhat this is the insight that I
(09:14):
got from that line in the songwhen you don't expect to get it,
it's because you don't believeyou deserve it.
And this has been super, superhyper prevalent in my life.
And I can look back in myhistory and see where not
feeling like I don't deservesomething has ultimately kept it
(09:39):
away.
See, when when we don't expectto get something, it's because
we don't feel we deserve it.
And the limitation of ourexpectation is what we do feel
that we do deserve.
So if we want, let's say we wewant, let's say, in my coaching
business, I want a newmastermind student, which is
(10:01):
true.
And let's say I don't expect toland that new mastermind
student.
The reality is, is somewhere inme, in my nervous system, in the
unconscious mind, in my in mysubconscious, and which is also
the ego, right?
They're the same thing nervoussystem, subconscious, ego.
Somewhere in the programming,somewhere in the script in
(10:24):
there, it says that I don'tdeserve it.
So that is why, that's thelimitation, and that's why I
don't expect it.
And when you want, you wantsomething and you don't expect
it, don't be surprised when itdoesn't show up.
Or if it does show up, don't besurprised when you when you give
(10:45):
it away or you get it out ofyour life as quickly as
possible.
And that's self-sabotage.
And self-sabotage is justgetting back down into the
levels of our expectations.
Now, I'm gonna go through a fewstories in my life of how this
has reared its its head.
I'm not gonna say ugly head, buthow it's reared its head.
(11:07):
I tell the story constantlyabout the fact that I was I was
an 18-year-old kid before I gothad my first date.
And I was in high school and Ihad never had a date before,
never kissed a girl, never didanything, right?
And I was an 18-year-old kid,and I was 240 pounds at the
(11:30):
beginning of the school year.
And I I went on a little bit ofa binge diet, you could call it.
So I started taking this weightloss supplement.
I'm not gonna rep the name, butI took this weight loss
supplement and I lost 60 poundsin three months.
60 pounds in three months.
Now, when I was 240 pounds, mymy friend set me up on a blind
(11:56):
date.
And I went out with this gal, wedouble dated, I went out with
this gal, and she couldn't havebeen like any less interested in
me.
She couldn't have been.
It was it's impossible.
She like, as the three, me, myfriend, and his girlfriend, as
we were talking, she was likeleaned over the chair in the
opposite direction, almostfalling asleep.
(12:17):
And she just kept saying, I'mtired, I just got off work, I'm
tired.
But in reality, it was obviousthat she wasn't interested in
me.
All right.
So that didn't work.
And you know, there we go.
We we uh we didn't have a seconddate.
Now, I didn't expect when I was240 pounds, I didn't expect to
(12:38):
actually have a girlfriend.
And that's why, since they setus up, uh, I didn't actually
expect to have a girlfriend.
That's why I had never evenapproached a girl at the time.
That's why I never even I nevereven entertained the thought of
having a girlfriend because Ididn't expect to have a
girlfriend because I didn't feellike I deserved a girlfriend.
I was 240 pounds and I was fullof shame.
(13:01):
I had a lot of body shame, I hada a lot of insecurity, a lot of
inadequacy, and I just felt likeI didn't deserve really deep
inside of me, I didn't feel likeI deserved a girlfriend.
Now, three months, 60 poundslater, my friend tells me, hey,
the only reason she reallywasn't interested is because
(13:23):
like you were really heavy, andand she wasn't interested in you
know, in having a really heavyboyfriend.
But I've she's like seeing seenpictures of you and she's
interested in you now.
And they set us back up.
We went out on a double dateagain, and then she became my
girlfriend of like for like twoyears.
(13:43):
And one of the reasons thateverything changed is because
when I lost weight, some of thebody shame went away, some of
the some of the feeling like Ididn't deserve this girlfriend,
some of that went away.
A lot, most of it went away.
I started to expect that she andI would actually like enjoy each
(14:04):
other.
And that happened.
It it came to fruition.
It was just three months, but itwas this condition that I had
laid in the middle of me nothaving a girlfriend and me
having a girlfriend.
I laid this condition that if Iwas heavy, I didn't deserve a
girlfriend.
I laid that condition in there,and I want to emphasize that.
(14:26):
I laid that condition in there.
Now, when I was in high school,I remember seeing some really,
really overweight guys withgirlfriends.
So it wasn't that there were nogirls available in, you know, or
or interested in big heavy guys,it was that I had this story, I
that that limited myexpectation.
(14:47):
And the reason it limited myexpectation is because I didn't
feel like I deserved.
Obviously, those heavy guys didfeel like they deserved a
girlfriend.
I did not, I did not, so I madeit a reality, and then when I
decided to deserve a girlfriend,and that story changed in my
(15:08):
body, then suddenly the externalworld rearranged around that
what I felt I deserved, becauseI feel like and I've connected
with, and my experience has beenis you get what you feel you
deserve, and only what you feelyou deserve.
And if you ever go above that,it'll it'll fall right back
(15:28):
quickly.
You can't always have what youwant, but you'll always get what
you expect.
And if you don't, if you wantsomething and you don't expect
to get it, you won't.
And the reason you don't expectto get it is because you don't
feel like you deserve it.
There's a condition that you'velaid into the pattern that
(15:48):
you've laid into the thecreation process.
There's a condition, there's nocertainty in your life, clarity,
certainty, and commitment.
You've you've laid a roadblock,you've laid some kind of a gap,
some kind of a boundary in yourbody and in your mind, and you
you lack certainty.
And that's why you can bereally, really clear, really,
(16:11):
really uncertain, and not getwhat you want, because the
uncertainty stems from this expthis negative expectation that
you have, and the negativeexpectation is derived from the
fact that you don't feel likeyou deserve it.
I hope this is making sensebecause this is game-changing
stuff.
(16:31):
Now, a couple of days ago,actually yesterday, uh based
based on when I'm recording.
Yesterday, I started thefive-week Monkefy Your Money
game virtual training where Iteach people the five financial
archetypes that I've workedwith, and I help them understand
where they are in the midst, andI help them understand how to
move to another financialarchetype, a higher level uh
(16:55):
archetype that'll give you ahigher quality of life.
And we just started this this uhthis training.
Now I'm gonna give you a veryrare, very recent event that is
real.
I'm not exaggerating.
It's real, it's tangible, and itshows you that the universe and
life responds to what you feelyou deserve, to your
(17:16):
expectations.
All right.
So, two hours before the launchof Monkefy Your Money Game, I
made a post on Facebook and Isaid, hey, containers getting
ready to start in two hours.
It's a small container, it'sgonna be intimate, it's gonna be
awesome, it's gonna be powerful.
I'm gonna give everything.
I'm gonna leave nothing, I'mgonna give it all.
(17:38):
I'm gonna help you understand.
I'm gonna give you tools,techniques.
It's gonna be a powerful uhcommunity and it's gonna be a
lot of fun.
And I'm looking for one or twomore people to jump in.
And in reality, I reallyexpected one person to jump in,
or I really wanted one person tojump in.
(17:58):
I was just looking for one.
Now, two would have beenawesome, but I was looking for
one because I wanted to addanother person just before,
knowing that that would thatwould be cool and it would give
me like it would give me someenergy and some some you know
some more inspiration to jump inhere and it would energize me in
the beginning and the launchingof of this container.
(18:20):
And two hours beforehand, I didthat Facebook post.
So it's an hour beforehand, andnobody has reached out, nobody's
messaged me.
And I sat on my patio in a chairon my patio, and I said, Okay,
do I do I expect this person?
Do I expect these people?
(18:41):
Do I expect this person toactually show up?
And the answer was no.
The answer was no.
The answer that I got was no.
And the thought that I hadimmediately was, well, what do I
need to do to create anexpectation in me that would
that would push me over the top,that would, that would get my
(19:04):
expectation that I would expectthis person to reach out.
I wanted another person or two,and I didn't expect somebody to
join it that late in the game.
And I was just asking myself andinquiring what it what can I do
in order to shift thatexpectation.
And then I had this insight.
I said, I've done emailmarketing, I've done social
(19:27):
media posts, I talked aboutMonkefy Your Money Game on this
podcast.
I've shared, I've shared thelink with with people, I've
direct messaged people that Ithought would be interested.
I have done a lot to gainengagement.
What if I shift thisexpectation?
Actually, at the time, I justthought I'm gonna shift my
(19:51):
expectation at this point thatI've already done enough.
I don't need to do any more.
I've already done the work andI'm ready to receive one more
person.
And now, in hindsight, Irealized that what I did is I
changed this.
I don't deserve it because Ihaven't done enough.
(20:13):
I changed that that belief, thatstory, into a an empowered
belief that I do deserve it,which created the expectation
that they would show up.
And I felt all of this in mybody.
I felt that expectation clickin.
And at the time I didn't have aword for it, but I can say now,
(20:34):
looking back, at that point Idecided to choose to deserve it
and take any condition out ofthe play, out of play, out of
the out of the equation.
I took the condition that I hadlaid into this the creation
process that I didn't deserve itbecause I didn't take enough
action.
I changed that belief, thatchanged the feeling of
(20:57):
deservedness that I had, whichclicked in a uh an expectation
that this person would show up.
And wouldn't you guess that Iopened up Facebook Messenger and
there was a message?
And it was very simple.
I replied to the message.
I would love to have it was arequest.
(21:19):
Hey, I saw your Monkefy Facebookpost, I'd love to be a part of
it.
I I want to join.
And I sent them the link and hejoined.
Whether you believe that ourexpectations or what we feel we
deserve, whether you believe itor not, they do and they're
real.
(21:39):
And I see it with my own eyes.
When I go out on a run and Iexpect to find money, I I find
money.
And when I go out on a run and Idon't look for money and I don't
expect to find money, it's notpart of the equation, it's not
part of my my present momentawareness.
I don't find money.
(22:00):
But when I literally go out, Icreate the the intention to find
money on my run, I find money.
It's it's an amazing universeand an amazing life we live.
And I do believe that God isready to give us what God is
giving us whatever we feel wedeserve.
God's just waiting for us toraise our deserve in this game.
(22:21):
God's just waiting for us toexpect more.
And this is why you hear somepeople, after they achieve their
goal, say, the only regret Ihave is I didn't set the goal
higher.
Because we don't get what wewant, we get what we expect.
And we expect whatever we feelwe deserve.
Guys, I hope this has been superhelpful.
(22:42):
I hope this has been superempowering.
I hope this is useful and givesyou a leg up.
This is emotional, somatic work.
This is important internal work.
And most of most of the workthat will help you achieve
whatever you want to achieve,it's internal, not external.
It's the person behind thetactic and strategy that that
(23:06):
decides whether the strategy ortactic works.
All right.
But when you couple internalpower or powerful internal work
with solid, sound, externaltactics and strategies, you
can't lose.
All right.
Hope this is helpful, useful.
Get clear about what you want,expect it to show up, raise your
(23:26):
level of deserveness in theworld by raising your
self-worth, your self-esteem,your belief in yourself.
Watch that inner thermostat goup about what you deserve and
watch your life change.
If you enjoyed what you heardand you want to learn more, go
to www.innerwealthglobal.com formore tools and resources.
You ever wake up feeling like there's something
missing in your life?
You ever feel the need to escapeyour business?
Are you running your money or isyour money running?
Help you design creating a lifeso authentic and aligned with
who you really are.
You'll get excited just to wakeup.
Help you create real wealth,accepting freedom from the
inside out.
Welcome to the Inner WealthPodcast, where we learn and
(00:27):
choose to live inspired each andevery day.
Recently, I I've been on thispodcast and in other parts of my
teaching and coaching.
I've been really talking aboutuh you can't always have what
you want, but you'll always getwhat you expect.
(00:48):
And that is a powerful, powerfulinsight when you when you truly
understand it.
Now, I teach the uh creationprocess.
I mean, there's plenty ofepisodes about the creation
process.
And the creation process is verysimple.
It's uh clarity, certainty, andcommitment, whatever you get
really super clear about in yourmind when you attain certainty
(01:14):
in your body that you can haveit, that you will have it, that
it is available, and it's not anif and an it's a when.
And if you remain committed tothe process by taking inspired
action, by being patient in theprocess while the universe kind
of lines things up for you.
And if you receive it when itshows up, you'll you'll always,
you know, you'll get what youwant, but only if you expect it,
(01:41):
which is the certainty part,only if you expect it to
actually happen.
You'll you don't always get whatyou want, you get what you
expect.
Now, I there's been times whereI've gotten, you know, I haven't
gotten what I wanted because Ididn't expect it.
But there have been times that Ihave gotten what I wanted
because I expected it.
It wasn't an if and it was awhen.
(02:01):
So the way I like to wrap thistogether and simplify this is
let's say there's a there's a abowl of apples over on your
counter, and you're sitting on acouch, and and you know, you're
sitting there and you say, youknow what?
I I would I would love adelicious juicy apple.
And in that moment, you choosethe apple and you get up, take
(02:24):
some inspired action, you getup, you walk over through your
living room, into your kitchen,you reach into the bowl, you
grab the apple, and you take abite, and you you enjoy the
apple.
Now you were you got reallyclear, you used the creation
process, you got really clearabout what you wanted.
(02:46):
There was certainty in yourbody, you knew that it was
there.
Okay, you knew that the applewas there, you knew the bowl was
full, and you knew the apple wasavailable and you knew it was
there, and you knew you couldhave it.
You know that you knew if youtook some action, if you walked
your your happy ass over to thebowl of apples, you you knew in
your body there wasn't anyworry, doubt, fear, there wasn't
(03:08):
any insecurity, there wasn'tany, what if it's not there?
You had none of these insights,so you had certainty in your
body.
And then you walked over and yougrabbed the apple and you took a
bite and you enjoyed your apple.
This is the creation process inplay clarity, certainty,
commitment.
Get clear about what you want.
You can't have what you want ifyou don't know what it is.
(03:28):
The number one reason peopledon't have what they want is
because they don't know whatthey want.
Attain certainty in your body sothat you build the positive
expectation that it's not an if,it's a when.
Remove the chance and thenremain committed to the process
by taking inspired action,remaining patient in the
process, and then receiving itwhen it shows up.
(03:50):
This is the creation process,and it only works every single
time.
Now, today I was on my run.
Or I was on my run, and let meback up a second.
Just uh a few days ago, I spokeat a uh real estate meetup
called uh Gateway to Freedom.
And it's it's a two-day event inSt.
(04:11):
Louis, uh, Missouri, and it'sfull of real estate investment
speakers and experts and peoplethat really have some kind of
expertise.
And it's an awesome, powerfulevent.
It's been running three years ina row.
There will be a fourth year, buttwo out of the three years, I've
closed the event.
I've I've done, I was the lastspeaker to close it down.
(04:34):
And the only reason I didn't Ididn't uh close last year is
because I closed the first day,because the next day Angie and I
were headed to Turks and Caicos.
So that was a lot of fun.
So I did, I have spoken atGateway to Freedom all three
years, and I I anticipate I'llspeak again next year because I
love that conference, and thatconference loves me.
(04:54):
So I just spoke there and I didgo over that exact creation
process.
Get clear about what you want,attain certainty in your body by
letting go of worry, doubt,fear, resistance, any anxiety,
any pain, any panic that wouldprevent you from accepting or
allowing what you want into yourlife.
(05:15):
Take inspired action, bepatient, and receive it when it
shows up.
I taught that.
And today I was on my run,right?
Now we'll get to the place, thetime when I'm on my run.
I was on my run, running fivemiles.
I was on around mile three offive.
And uh I'm running in, well, Ilive in St.
(05:36):
Charles, Missouri, justnorthwest, the county northwest
of St.
Louis, uh, St.
Louis County.
And I'm running this beautifulspring day.
It's it's 70 degrees, probablysomewhere between 65, 68
degrees.
Just beautiful weather forrunning, and I'm just enjoying
my run.
And I'm I'm listening to a anold punk rock band that I used
(06:00):
to listen to back in the uhearly 1990s.
And and I I've never stopped, tobe honest.
But I started listening to themin the early 1990s, and the the
band is Sam I Am, S-A-M-I-A-M,Sam I am.
And I've been listening to Sam IAm for a long time, and I'm I
I'm not like any, I have noaffiliate connection with a Sam
I am.
(06:21):
They have no idea who I am, butI was listening to Sam I Am and
I've listened to this album,I've listened to this song a
billion times, all right.
And I'm I'm running and I'mlistening to this song, and I
had to I started contemplatingand I started I started
rewinding, you know, some of theteachings and I started playing
them in my mind.
And you know, you can't alwayshave what you want, but you'll
(06:43):
always get what you expect.
And just when I landed on this,on this thought, the the lyric
that I've heard a billion times,like laid right over top of it.
And the lyric is you'll get whatyou deserve.
And in that moment, I had themost powerful insight that I've
(07:05):
had in a long time.
And it adds and it amplifies,and it takes, it takes the the
creation process one stepfarther, and it takes the you
can't have everything you want,you'll always get what you
expect.
It takes that to the next level.
And I want to share what thatis.
(07:28):
To get what you want, itrequires it requires some
internal and a little bit ofexternal work.
You there's a lot of people inthis world that are in hyper
action, hyperactivity, they'rethey're taking massive action,
they're moving their ass,they're efforting like crazy,
(07:49):
and there's something inside ofthem that's in the way and
keeping them from actuallyachieving or attaining what they
want to attain.
And they're literally fightingthrough the resistance in their
body.
And one of those pieces ofresistance, and this has shown
up in my life, and and we'regonna spend the the second half
(08:10):
of this episode kind ofunpacking this.
This the most prevalentresistance that I've experienced
in my own body and in my ownlife is that I didn't deserve
what I wanted.
Now that sounds like a you knowpity party or something like
that, but when you take theconcept that you can't have
(08:32):
everything you want, you'llalways get what you expect.
And when you connect those, youget you want it, you expect it,
it'll it'll land in your lap.
You you expect it, you want it,you expect it, you'll you'll
achieve it, you'll attain it,you'll accomplish it, you you'll
(08:52):
you'll take a receipt of it.
But the expectation, if you wantsomething and you do not expect
to get it, which is thedisconnect that that's prevalent
in a lot of people's activity,you want it, you don't expect to
get it.
It's it's because, and this iswhat this is the insight that I
(09:14):
got from that line in the songwhen you don't expect to get it,
it's because you don't believeyou deserve it.
And this has been super, superhyper prevalent in my life.
And I can look back in myhistory and see where not
feeling like I don't deservesomething has ultimately kept it
(09:39):
away.
See, when when we don't expectto get something, it's because
we don't feel we deserve it.
And the limitation of ourexpectation is what we do feel
that we do deserve.
So if we want, let's say we wewant, let's say, in my coaching
business, I want a newmastermind student, which is
(10:01):
true.
And let's say I don't expect toland that new mastermind
student.
The reality is, is somewhere inme, in my nervous system, in the
unconscious mind, in my in mysubconscious, and which is also
the ego, right?
They're the same thing nervoussystem, subconscious, ego.
Somewhere in the programming,somewhere in the script in
(10:24):
there, it says that I don'tdeserve it.
So that is why, that's thelimitation, and that's why I
don't expect it.
And when you want, you wantsomething and you don't expect
it, don't be surprised when itdoesn't show up.
Or if it does show up, don't besurprised when you when you give
(10:45):
it away or you get it out ofyour life as quickly as
possible.
And that's self-sabotage.
And self-sabotage is justgetting back down into the
levels of our expectations.
Now, I'm gonna go through a fewstories in my life of how this
has reared its its head.
I'm not gonna say ugly head, buthow it's reared its head.
(11:07):
I tell the story constantlyabout the fact that I was I was
an 18-year-old kid before I gothad my first date.
And I was in high school and Ihad never had a date before,
never kissed a girl, never didanything, right?
And I was an 18-year-old kid,and I was 240 pounds at the
(11:30):
beginning of the school year.
And I I went on a little bit ofa binge diet, you could call it.
So I started taking this weightloss supplement.
I'm not gonna rep the name, butI took this weight loss
supplement and I lost 60 poundsin three months.
60 pounds in three months.
Now, when I was 240 pounds, mymy friend set me up on a blind
(11:56):
date.
And I went out with this gal, wedouble dated, I went out with
this gal, and she couldn't havebeen like any less interested in
me.
She couldn't have been.
It was it's impossible.
She like, as the three, me, myfriend, and his girlfriend, as
we were talking, she was likeleaned over the chair in the
opposite direction, almostfalling asleep.
(12:17):
And she just kept saying, I'mtired, I just got off work, I'm
tired.
But in reality, it was obviousthat she wasn't interested in
me.
All right.
So that didn't work.
And you know, there we go.
We we uh we didn't have a seconddate.
Now, I didn't expect when I was240 pounds, I didn't expect to
(12:38):
actually have a girlfriend.
And that's why, since they setus up, uh, I didn't actually
expect to have a girlfriend.
That's why I had never evenapproached a girl at the time.
That's why I never even I nevereven entertained the thought of
having a girlfriend because Ididn't expect to have a
girlfriend because I didn't feellike I deserved a girlfriend.
I was 240 pounds and I was fullof shame.
(13:01):
I had a lot of body shame, I hada a lot of insecurity, a lot of
inadequacy, and I just felt likeI didn't deserve really deep
inside of me, I didn't feel likeI deserved a girlfriend.
Now, three months, 60 poundslater, my friend tells me, hey,
the only reason she reallywasn't interested is because
(13:23):
like you were really heavy, andand she wasn't interested in you
know, in having a really heavyboyfriend.
But I've she's like seeing seenpictures of you and she's
interested in you now.
And they set us back up.
We went out on a double dateagain, and then she became my
girlfriend of like for like twoyears.
(13:43):
And one of the reasons thateverything changed is because
when I lost weight, some of thebody shame went away, some of
the some of the feeling like Ididn't deserve this girlfriend,
some of that went away.
A lot, most of it went away.
I started to expect that she andI would actually like enjoy each
(14:04):
other.
And that happened.
It it came to fruition.
It was just three months, but itwas this condition that I had
laid in the middle of me nothaving a girlfriend and me
having a girlfriend.
I laid this condition that if Iwas heavy, I didn't deserve a
girlfriend.
I laid that condition in there,and I want to emphasize that.
(14:26):
I laid that condition in there.
Now, when I was in high school,I remember seeing some really,
really overweight guys withgirlfriends.
So it wasn't that there were nogirls available in, you know, or
or interested in big heavy guys,it was that I had this story, I
that that limited myexpectation.
(14:47):
And the reason it limited myexpectation is because I didn't
feel like I deserved.
Obviously, those heavy guys didfeel like they deserved a
girlfriend.
I did not, I did not, so I madeit a reality, and then when I
decided to deserve a girlfriend,and that story changed in my
(15:08):
body, then suddenly the externalworld rearranged around that
what I felt I deserved, becauseI feel like and I've connected
with, and my experience has beenis you get what you feel you
deserve, and only what you feelyou deserve.
And if you ever go above that,it'll it'll fall right back
(15:28):
quickly.
You can't always have what youwant, but you'll always get what
you expect.
And if you don't, if you wantsomething and you don't expect
to get it, you won't.
And the reason you don't expectto get it is because you don't
feel like you deserve it.
There's a condition that you'velaid into the pattern that
(15:48):
you've laid into the thecreation process.
There's a condition, there's nocertainty in your life, clarity,
certainty, and commitment.
You've you've laid a roadblock,you've laid some kind of a gap,
some kind of a boundary in yourbody and in your mind, and you
you lack certainty.
And that's why you can bereally, really clear, really,
(16:11):
really uncertain, and not getwhat you want, because the
uncertainty stems from this expthis negative expectation that
you have, and the negativeexpectation is derived from the
fact that you don't feel likeyou deserve it.
I hope this is making sensebecause this is game-changing
stuff.
(16:31):
Now, a couple of days ago,actually yesterday, uh based
based on when I'm recording.
Yesterday, I started thefive-week Monkefy Your Money
game virtual training where Iteach people the five financial
archetypes that I've workedwith, and I help them understand
where they are in the midst, andI help them understand how to
move to another financialarchetype, a higher level uh
(16:55):
archetype that'll give you ahigher quality of life.
And we just started this this uhthis training.
Now I'm gonna give you a veryrare, very recent event that is
real.
I'm not exaggerating.
It's real, it's tangible, and itshows you that the universe and
life responds to what you feelyou deserve, to your
(17:16):
expectations.
All right.
So, two hours before the launchof Monkefy Your Money Game, I
made a post on Facebook and Isaid, hey, containers getting
ready to start in two hours.
It's a small container, it'sgonna be intimate, it's gonna be
awesome, it's gonna be powerful.
I'm gonna give everything.
I'm gonna leave nothing, I'mgonna give it all.
(17:38):
I'm gonna help you understand.
I'm gonna give you tools,techniques.
It's gonna be a powerful uhcommunity and it's gonna be a
lot of fun.
And I'm looking for one or twomore people to jump in.
And in reality, I reallyexpected one person to jump in,
or I really wanted one person tojump in.
(17:58):
I was just looking for one.
Now, two would have beenawesome, but I was looking for
one because I wanted to addanother person just before,
knowing that that would thatwould be cool and it would give
me like it would give me someenergy and some some you know
some more inspiration to jump inhere and it would energize me in
the beginning and the launchingof of this container.
(18:20):
And two hours beforehand, I didthat Facebook post.
So it's an hour beforehand, andnobody has reached out, nobody's
messaged me.
And I sat on my patio in a chairon my patio, and I said, Okay,
do I do I expect this person?
Do I expect these people?
(18:41):
Do I expect this person toactually show up?
And the answer was no.
The answer was no.
The answer that I got was no.
And the thought that I hadimmediately was, well, what do I
need to do to create anexpectation in me that would
that would push me over the top,that would, that would get my
(19:04):
expectation that I would expectthis person to reach out.
I wanted another person or two,and I didn't expect somebody to
join it that late in the game.
And I was just asking myself andinquiring what it what can I do
in order to shift thatexpectation.
And then I had this insight.
I said, I've done emailmarketing, I've done social
(19:27):
media posts, I talked aboutMonkefy Your Money Game on this
podcast.
I've shared, I've shared thelink with with people, I've
direct messaged people that Ithought would be interested.
I have done a lot to gainengagement.
What if I shift thisexpectation?
Actually, at the time, I justthought I'm gonna shift my
(19:51):
expectation at this point thatI've already done enough.
I don't need to do any more.
I've already done the work andI'm ready to receive one more
person.
And now, in hindsight, Irealized that what I did is I
changed this.
I don't deserve it because Ihaven't done enough.
(20:13):
I changed that that belief, thatstory, into a an empowered
belief that I do deserve it,which created the expectation
that they would show up.
And I felt all of this in mybody.
I felt that expectation clickin.
And at the time I didn't have aword for it, but I can say now,
(20:34):
looking back, at that point Idecided to choose to deserve it
and take any condition out ofthe play, out of play, out of
the out of the equation.
I took the condition that I hadlaid into this the creation
process that I didn't deserve itbecause I didn't take enough
action.
I changed that belief, thatchanged the feeling of
(20:57):
deservedness that I had, whichclicked in a uh an expectation
that this person would show up.
And wouldn't you guess that Iopened up Facebook Messenger and
there was a message?
And it was very simple.
I replied to the message.
I would love to have it was arequest.
(21:19):
Hey, I saw your Monkefy Facebookpost, I'd love to be a part of
it.
I I want to join.
And I sent them the link and hejoined.
Whether you believe that ourexpectations or what we feel we
deserve, whether you believe itor not, they do and they're
real.
(21:39):
And I see it with my own eyes.
When I go out on a run and Iexpect to find money, I I find
money.
And when I go out on a run and Idon't look for money and I don't
expect to find money, it's notpart of the equation, it's not
part of my my present momentawareness.
I don't find money.
(22:00):
But when I literally go out, Icreate the the intention to find
money on my run, I find money.
It's it's an amazing universeand an amazing life we live.
And I do believe that God isready to give us what God is
giving us whatever we feel wedeserve.
God's just waiting for us toraise our deserve in this game.
(22:21):
God's just waiting for us toexpect more.
And this is why you hear somepeople, after they achieve their
goal, say, the only regret Ihave is I didn't set the goal
higher.
Because we don't get what wewant, we get what we expect.
And we expect whatever we feelwe deserve.
Guys, I hope this has been superhelpful.
(22:42):
I hope this has been superempowering.
I hope this is useful and givesyou a leg up.
This is emotional, somatic work.
This is important internal work.
And most of most of the workthat will help you achieve
whatever you want to achieve,it's internal, not external.
It's the person behind thetactic and strategy that that
(23:06):
decides whether the strategy ortactic works.
All right.
But when you couple internalpower or powerful internal work
with solid, sound, externaltactics and strategies, you
can't lose.
All right.
Hope this is helpful, useful.
Get clear about what you want,expect it to show up, raise your
(23:26):
level of deserveness in theworld by raising your
self-worth, your self-esteem,your belief in yourself.
Watch that inner thermostat goup about what you deserve and
watch your life change.
If you enjoyed what you heardand you want to learn more, go
to www.innerwealthglobal.com formore tools and resources.
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