May 15, 2025 • 27 mins
Have you ever felt your spark dimming at work? That creeping realization that your workplace might be harming your mental health? Terence Nislow's powerful story might be exactly what you need to hear.
In this episode Terence shares with host Arthi that when he realized his prestigious job with amazing benefits was slowly changing who he was as a person, he faced a difficult truth many of us encounter but few discuss openly. Despite the 36 days of annual leave and impressive salary, he found himself unrecognizable – quieter, angrier, and losing his natural enthusiasm for life. The wake-up call came when a friend asked if someone had died because his personality had changed so dramatically.
What makes Terence's story particularly valuable is his methodical approach to escaping toxicity. Drawing on his Lean Six Sigma background, he created what he called the "Get Terry Back" project – complete with Gantt charts, milestones, and actionable steps that transformed an overwhelming situation into manageable progress. This strategic exit plan helped him overcome the golden handcuffs of excellent benefits and find his way to true workplace happiness.
Beyond sharing his personal journey, Terence offers practical wisdom for anyone feeling stuck in a similar situation. His advice spans from seeking trusted support and journaling to exploring options and creating structured exit strategies. Most importantly, he reminds us that "no job is worth your mental health" and "walking away from something toxic isn't a sign of failure – it's a sign of strength."
Terence and his wife now help others navigate similar challenges through their business, Your Project Mentor, offering practical tools and emotional support to those feeling trapped in toxic work environments. Their mission reflects a powerful truth: you deserve better, and with the right approach, positive change is absolutely possible.
Ready to reclaim your workplace happiness? Listen now, and discover how to create your own path forward when a job is draining your spirit.
About Terence Niselow:
Terence is a Henley MBA graduate, a seasoned operations and process improvement leader with deep expertise in Lean Six Sigma and has a passion for driving efficiency, quality, and business transformation. With a proven track record of leading high-performing teams and delivering measurable results across industries, Terence is currently applying his skills at Modulr as their Operations Director for Europe.
Connect with him:
- Website: https://yourprojectmentor.com/
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/terence-niselow
- Youtube: youtube.com/channel/UCGW8Ei_eDzIiZmg7mbztSVQ
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Arthi Rabikrisson (00:15):
Hello everyone and welcome to the
Inspire your Life podcast withme, your host, Arthi Rabikrisson
.
I believe we find inspirationall around us, especially from
(00:36):
the stories that we all have inus.
My aim with the Inspire yourLife podcast is to bring some of
those real stories to light,Stories of my guests that
resonate with you and me.
It's by listening to thesestories that we can be inspired
and motivate ourselves toovercome, find a new path and
(01:01):
rise even higher than we thoughtpossible.
Joining me on the show today isTerence Niselow.
Terence is a Henley MBA grad,just like myself, a seasoned
(01:23):
operations and processimprovement leader with deep
expertise in Lean Sigma, and hehas a passion for driving
efficiency, quality and businesstransformation.
He's got a proven track recordeverybody of leading
high-performing teams anddelivering measurable results
across industries.
Terence is currently applyinghis skills at a company called
Modulr as their operationsdirector for Europe.
(01:45):
Beyond, obviously, a lot ofcorporate achievements, Terence
is deeply passionate aboutmentoring and supporting
individuals through challengingcareer transitions.
Together with his wife, he'sco-founded a small business
called Your Project Mentor,dedicated to helping people
navigate their way out of toxicjob environments.
Oh boy, we know about thesethings as well.
(02:06):
So today, Terence is going toshare some of his own
experiences of moving away fromtoxicity, so I am so pleased
that he's able to be here withus.
Welcome, Terence.
Terence Niselow (02:17):
Hi Arthi.
Yeah, thanks so much for havingme.
It's such an honour andprivilege to be on your podcast.
Arthi Rabikrisson (02:22):
Oh man, you know we've been talking about
this for such a while.
Terrence, I'm so glad you couldbe here today, so I've just
given everyone a little bit of abiographical view to you, but I
think we want to hear a littlebit more about you, a little bit
deeper.
So please tell us a bit moreabout Terrence.
Terence Niselow (02:38):
Yeah, sure, and thank you so much for that
introduction.
It was quite a good one, yeah,so just a little bit about me.
I'm originally from Cape Town,south Africa now living in a
beautiful small Dutch villagecalled Vleuten which I am
probably pronouncing incorrectly, but that is based in the
Netherlands, which is about 10minutes outside of a city called
(02:58):
Utrecht, and yeah, we've beenliving here for about four years
now, which is quite some time.
And yeah, we made the decisionto immigrate to the Netherlands
because we really wanted totravel and explore the world and
we thought it would be a loteasier to be centrally located
here in Europe, which is quitenice.
But yeah, actually anothercontributing factor to the move
(03:19):
was actually a result of the MBAthat I did at Henley, and I
remember when I was doing theMBA, there was a really strong
component of personaldevelopment which I absolutely
loved.
I really loved that, and Iremember I came up with this
concept which I called thetrifecta of change, and the
trifecta of change for me meanta change in job, a change in
(03:39):
industry and also a change incountry.
And when I was working in SouthAfrica, I worked at one company
in the financial servicesindustry that I think I was
there for like 10 odd years.
It was a really great company,but it was definitely time for
me to spread my wings andchallenge myself, and that's how
I ended up in the Netherlands.
Arthi Rabikrisson (03:56):
Oh wow, I mean, look at that, that
trifecta actually materialized,which is amazing, amazing
Terrence.
Okay, so now I mean thank youfor sharing that, and I mean it
must have not been easy to leaveeverything that you know and
then move across and settle innow, four years later.
Incredible to be able to dothat.
(04:17):
And I guess it's making me a bitcurious, then, about what we're
talking about today, becauseyou know we're specifically
talking about moving away fromtoxicity, and I mean your
trifecta is about moving awayfrom a lot of the known things.
So maybe just help usunderstand.
I mean, where's that kind ofcoming from?
We want to hear you know, forexample, what's that toxicity
potentially that you werereferring to, that you moved
(04:38):
away from.
Terence Niselow (04:39):
Yeah, so I mean , for me, the toxicity that I'm
specifically referring to was,and it's, within the workplace.
And while being in theNetherlands, I've actually had
the fortunate opportunity towork at many different companies
and many different industries,which has been great, but
unfortunately, the last one thatI last company that I worked at
, it wasn't as fantastic as Ithought it was going to be.
So, if you don't mind, I canshare my experience of what I
(05:03):
went through.
Arthi Rabikrisson (05:04):
I would love that.
Thank you.
Terence Niselow (05:05):
Yeah.
So I'd taken a job that onpaper seemed fantastic, like the
salary was good, the benefitswere great, it looked good.
On paper it was kind of like adream job, okay.
But once I stepped into thatrole it didn't take me long to
realize that the environment wasdeeply negative.
There was like no leadership.
There was no real strategy ordirection.
(05:26):
People weren't empowered, theyweren't developed.
And even for my own leader thatI had, let's just say that he
just wasn't one of.
I think it was just in the badrole and I don't think it was
just the right person for thejob.
Arthi Rabikrisson (05:39):
Do you think it was a deeply like a
culturally embedded type of youknow the different things that
you're talking about.
It was it just within your areaor did you feel it was just
wider across the organization?
Terence Niselow (05:50):
no, no, I actually think it was just in
the department specifically thatI was in, because I had quite a
few colleagues that I was thatI built up good relationships
with, and they loved the company.
I would share my experiencewith them and I'd say like, this
is how I'm, how I'm feeling,and they had a completely
opposite opinion.
So I don't think it was acrossthe whole organization.
It was actually quite a bigorganization.
(06:12):
I think it was really narroweddown to just the specific
department that I was in and Ihonestly think it was just a,
just a, wasn't.
It wasn't a good fit for me, ifthat makes sense, okay, okay.
Arthi Rabikrisson (06:23):
So I mean it's.
I mean it sounds bad, it reallydoes, but I guess you know
there's bad and then there'stoxic.
So when did that realizationcome to you, that actually this
is becoming toxic?
Terence Niselow (06:37):
yeah.
So I mean, you know, there arelike lots of signs of it.
There are signs of like a, youknow, poor communication, lack
of trust, there's lots of drama,people are were always negative
.
There was a lot of thingshappening all around me, but
there were two big, I call themaha moments for me, which I
realized that it's time to getout or something's really bad.
(06:59):
So the first moment for me waswhen I was actually meeting up
with a friend for lunch and wewere just casually catching up
and I'm normally like I am now.
I'm quite a bubbly person, I'menergetic, you know, I bring the
energy and she actually stoppedme like halfway through our
lunch conversation and she askedme are you feeling okay, like
what's going on?
And I said no, I'm completelyfine.
(07:20):
And she said to me well, you'requite, you very quiet, you
reserved, and that's completelyout of character for me.
And she honestly thought that Iwas sick or that someone close
to me had passed away, which wasquite alarming.
And then the second aha momentthat I had was when I was really
listening to a voice note thatI'd previously sent to a friend
of mine.
So just for some backgroundcontext, because I now live
(07:41):
abroad.
I still have quite a fewfriends that I stay in touch
with in South Africa and I dothis through like excessively
long voice notes, and I know itirritates them, but it's a great
way of staying in touch.
So what I do is that I listento my previous voice note that
I've sent to them, just so thatI know what's going on and where
I left the conversation.
And what actually happened waswhen I was listening to one of
(08:03):
my voice notes.
I was absolutely shocked at howangry I was when I was telling
a friend a story about work andI just could not believe the
person that I actually became sofor me, I started to realize
that things actually became, inmy mind, toxic when it actually
deeply impacted who I was as aperson and the person that I was
becoming.
Arthi Rabikrisson (08:24):
Wow, so how long were you in the role then,
Terry?
Terence Niselow (08:27):
I think I was in the role for like maybe, geez
, maybe six, seven months untilI realized that things were not
going great.
But I mean, I'm quite anoptimistic person, so I was,
like you know, I kept tellingmyself I can make this work.
It's a stable job, the perksare really great and the perks
were great.
I had like I was getting 36days of leave and all my friends
(08:50):
were telling me it's unheard ofto get those kind of like
benefits.
Arthi Rabikrisson (08:52):
You're so lucky.
I'm sure that's what they musthave been thinking, yeah.
Terence Niselow (08:56):
And I was telling myself that again and
again and I was like you know,but it really started to weigh
me down.
Arthi Rabikrisson (09:02):
Yeah, absolutely, it sounds like you
were convincing yourself thatthere were so many great
benefits that you couldn't dowithout that.
Maybe, you know, you hadactually realized it earlier,
but again, you were just kind ofconvincing yourself that, ok,
we need to kind of stick it outbecause there's so many great
things that could happen here.
All right.
And I mean it's important tokind of note that firstly, there
(09:23):
was an external view, thiscolleague, this friend of yours,
who kind of said hey, you'renot showing up the way you
normally do.
And then I suppose you know thefact that you sort of realized
it for yourself through thevoice note as well, and I love
that.
You know, normally in coachingconversations we often do say,
as coaches to our clients, it'sso important to kind of reflect
back and look back at any sortof recordings or writings.
(09:45):
That one does, you know, andI'm so glad that you did that as
well.
So, okay, so you had these twoaha moments.
What did you do thereafter?
Terence Niselow (09:53):
Yeah, so once I had these aha moments.
So me as a person, I'mgenerally someone who's very
open and very lucky to have,like a very supportive wife, a
good group of friends and peoplethat I can really rely on and
that I can trust.
Arthi Rabikrisson (10:07):
Lovely.
Terence Niselow (10:08):
And I think the first thing for me was what I
did was I just started speakingabout the problem and I just
started getting it off my chest.
And once I started doing thatand actually acknowledging the
situation that I was in, Istarted making it real and
realizing I had to get out.
Yeah, I started making it realand realizing I had to get out.
Yeah, and I also like I'm awarethat sometimes, when you're in
a specific situation, whetheryou're in a toxic environment or
(10:30):
whether you're in a badrelationship or whatever it is
you might tend to have theseblinkers on, and that is why I
always find it useful to chat toother people to get their
perspective and insight on thesituation at hand.
Arthi Rabikrisson (10:42):
Right, right, right.
Medication is key, absolutelykey, right?
So, firstly, very brave of youto start speaking about it,
because again, you were in aspace of convincing yourself to
try and keep going right, yeahyeah, so I applaud you for at
least starting to speak outthrough what sounds like a very
supportive ecosystem.
Terence Niselow (11:02):
Thank, you, yeah.
And then once I startedchatting to people me personally
, I'm also quite a.
I'm very action orientated andresults driven as a person.
So the second thing that I knewwas like, okay, I need to dive
into action I knew something hadto happen.
So, as you mentioned, myexperience is in Lean Six Sigma
and I've got a lot of experienceproject management and I
(11:22):
actually turned this into like amini project that I called Get
Terry Back yeah.
So this is going to sound alittle nerdy.
Arthi Rabikrisson (11:30):
Sounds like the trifecta effect this is cool
.
I like that you come up withthese things.
Terence Niselow (11:36):
Okay, so I actually created I used a Gantt
chart more like a project plan,and I created a project plan
with different tasks andactivities.
Arthi Rabikrisson (11:44):
Yeah.
Terence Niselow (11:45):
And I had these like milestones and goals that
I was working towards and I usedthe scan chart and I would open
it up every day and I would useit to hold myself accountable
and ensure that I was slowly andsurely chipping away and
working towards my target ofjust getting out of my situation
.
Arthi Rabikrisson (12:03):
All right, okay, and I mean, how long did
it take you to actually get outof that situation?
Terence Niselow (12:09):
From the point that I actually realized that I
had to do something, I startedthis project.
I think it took me about maybetwo to three months to actually
get out.
Arthi Rabikrisson (12:19):
Okay, okay.
So that deliberate kind of thisis where I need to go.
This is what I need to do inorder to get to that point.
Do you feel that that washighly effective in getting you
out in that time frame, asopposed to maybe following some
other pathway?
Terence Niselow (12:33):
I think so for me.
I didn't have a specific targetof getting out within two to
three months, but my milestonesand my targets that I had in
place were, for example,exploring different
opportunities, talking todifferent people, journaling,
for example.
That was like something that Istarted getting into to really
help putting down my thoughtsand fears down on paper, and I
(12:54):
think, just because I had that,I started gaining momentum and
things just started happening.
And then, as I realized that Ihad to do something, I would put
it in the Gantt chart and I'dsay, okay, this has to get done
by within a week.
Arthi Rabikrisson (13:06):
Okay, and you kept yourself to those kind of
like smaller timelines.
Terence Niselow (13:10):
Exactly.
Arthi Rabikrisson (13:11):
Okay.
Terence Niselow (13:12):
Exactly, and that just helped me gain
momentum and gain progress to dostuff, because it's actually,
if you take a step back, it'sactually super daunting and it's
so scary to kind of search fora different job.
I've got like a whole bunch ofexperience, you know.
So, being in the netherlands,I've worked at quite a few
different places now, which isactually quite different,
because in south africa I onlyworked at one company and I've
(13:34):
lived there like my whole lifehere.
I've been here for four years,I've worked at four different
places.
Yes, so I've got a good process, a good like technique of like
how to go about looking for jobsin terms of networking, those
kind of things.
But it's actually I've chatteda couple of my other friends and
colleagues who are kind of inthe job market.
They are scared, they don'tknow what to do or how to go
(13:55):
about doing it.
How do you network, what's agood way to optimizing your CV
or those kind of things.
Arthi Rabikrisson (14:00):
So yeah, Okay , sure, it's a whole process.
I those kind of things.
So, yeah, okay, sure it's awhole process.
I agree with you, it's verydaunting and sometimes far
easier to kind of stay putbecause there's that security
that comes with it, right.
But again, you're saying you'vehad some experience.
Well, firstly, that big shiftout of SA, out of you know being
in your company in South Africafor so long, that already gave
(14:20):
you a little bit of a blueprintof your ability to kind of now
move into other roles whileyou've been at the Netherlands
as well.
So I guess it's almost like abit of a habit was unlocked and
it's something that you're moreat ease with should you need to
do it right, absolutely.
So I mean, do you feel likewhere you're at now, you've
overcome, like, the effects fromthat toxic environment?
Terence Niselow (14:43):
Absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (14:43):
Okay, that's great to hear.
Terence Niselow (14:45):
Yeah, it's so incredible, just like getting
out of that situation and howmore energized and motivated and
driven I feel.
Like I want to exercise again.
I want to just do a lot ofthings.
Relative to where I was at myprevious company, I was
literally I was the opposite.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:01):
Wow, it's like you have held back and now
suddenly there's this freedomand clarity and you just want to
keep moving forward.
Terence Niselow (15:10):
No, absolutely.
And it's like it's so strangebecause, also, like when I send
my voice notes again, I actuallylisten back to my friends and
they give me comments and theysay, terry, I don't know what's
happened, what's the big change?
But I mean, obviously Ihappened, what's like the big
change?
But oh, I mean obviously I tellthem I changed my job, but they
tell me I feel I sound a lothappier.
I mean, don't get me wrong, Ido miss my, my perks and all
those leave days from time totime, but it's definitely not
(15:33):
worth like the happiness at theend of the day well, this is it
right.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:37):
I suppose it comes down to like what you
truly value, and it sounds likeyour kind of health growth
progress was actually a bigvalue driver for you as well.
Terence Niselow (15:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:49):
No, no, wonderful.
Wonderful to hear that and Imean I'm mindful of what you
said.
You know about, you know those,that kind of deliberate action
that you took and it's part ofyour, your DNA and your
personality to do that andthat's not a natural reaction
for many people.
So, you know, to kind of havethat switch of.
I know that this environment isnot working for me, but I know
(16:12):
I need to get out of it, butthen I don't know where to start
and that keeps a person kind ofspiraling.
Now, in your case, you almostyou know, because of your nature
, you were able to say I'm goingto shift this into action and
you then, you know, you createdyour plan and mapped it out and
all of that.
So I guess, just for ourlisteners who might be in the
situation I've described, itdoesn't come naturally for them
(16:33):
to kind of become active andtake steps forward.
I mean, could you offersomething in terms of baby steps
that they could feelcomfortable, you know, on this
daunting journey to make thisbig change that might be useful
to them?
Terence Niselow (16:45):
Yeah, sure.
So just thinking about it, Ithink for me the first thing
would be about seeking support.
Okay, With regards to the chat.
Arthi Rabikrisson (16:54):
Talk to someone.
Yeah, talk to someone.
Terence Niselow (16:56):
Because sometimes, like you said, you
start to spiral and the best wayto get out of spiraling would
be to kind of talk to someoneand seek support about how to
kind of like get out of thesituation and also just to make
sure that you're not going crazyif that makes sense.
Arthi Rabikrisson (17:12):
Oh yeah, yes, yes.
Terence Niselow (17:14):
And they can also help you recognize the
signs that you're in a toxicwork environment.
And it's when someone else kindof gives their perception of
your environment and tells youthe story it's clear if that
makes sense.
Also, I think you mentioned areally good point.
I think reflection is veryimportant.
So like journaling for me wassomething that also helped me
kind of realize what do I needto do, how, how am I feeling,
(17:37):
and acknowledging that is reallyimportant.
So just putting stuff down onpaper, okay, amazing.
I think the second tip for mewould be just about exploring
what your different options are.
So if you're in a toxicenvironment or a toxic work
situation, what are yourdifferent options internally and
externally?
Arthi Rabikrisson (17:55):
Okay.
Terence Niselow (17:56):
And I remember just doing that gave me a sense
of like open the door a littlebit, and then it also started to
shine the light and say, hey,do not.
This is not only one job thatyou can do.
There's also otheropportunities out there you can
go and get there.
And that's going to requirelike a lot of things for you to
do and should require you tokind of do your research.
You kind of need to update CVs,optimize your LinkedIn profile,
(18:21):
start networking, preparing forinterviews.
And that leads to my third tip,which is why I think it's
really important to create a bitof a project plan, or like what
I would call an exit planstrategy, to help you kind of
get out of your situation.
And for me, I've always foundthat having a plan provides
confidence and clarity andreally helps to kind of give you
(18:41):
a sense of direction of whatyou need to go and do.
Arthi Rabikrisson (18:44):
I like it, you preaching to the converted
here.
I talk about plans all the time, but I'm glad that you know
you've got such a brilliant casein point, and not just this
time, but I suppose even inother instances where some
planning has allowed you toreach, you know, some key
milestones, yeah, ideas, becauseit is about just getting the
(19:06):
ball rolling, you know, to beable to pick up the phone and
just have a quick conversationwith someone you trust, I mean
that shouldn't be too difficultto do.
There is a bit of vulnerabilityas well because you know,
sometimes people may want tokind of say but everything's
going fine.
You know they don't necessarilywant to say that they're
struggling or something is verydifficult.
So there's almost that internalbarrier that someone has to
(19:28):
overcome a little bit to stillalso be able to vocalize it.
But I guess if you're choosingsomeone you trust, maybe it
becomes easier.
And I love that journaling froma reflective piece was also
important.
So some really, reallywonderful tips there.
I think Terrence, from yourside, and I guess I mean you've
kind of shared a bit on yourlessons and I'm wondering, you
(19:49):
know, from this particular time,are there any lessons that
stand out for you that you feelyou know what.
I'm using it now, even on mygrowth path, and it's shaping
where I want to go.
Is there anything like that?
Terence Niselow (20:01):
Yeah, so I think for me I'm a firm believer
that you always take awaysomething from every experience
you go through, so like doingthat whole reflection piece is
really important.
But one of the key lessons forme that I learned is that you
know no job is actually worthyour mental health.
No amount of perks or benefitsthat you can get could make up
for being in an environment thatslowly chips away at your
(20:22):
self-worth and your self-esteem.
And, yeah, just genuinely likepay attention to how you feel,
not just during work but alsoafter work.
And I think walking away fromsomething toxic isn't a sign of
failure.
I think it's a sign of strength.
So that's some of the keylessons that I've learned, and I
think for me also that whatI've realized now that I'm in
(20:44):
this role, with my new job andnew company, it's made me really
realize the power and theimpact being in a leadership
role can have on people.
Yeah, you know they say withgreat power comes great
responsibility, and that iscompletely true.
And I think people who are inthe leadership position need to
(21:05):
acknowledge and realize how theycan severely impact someone's
working situation.
Arthi Rabikrisson (21:10):
So yeah, absolutely.
There's a whole host of skillsthat need to come with leading,
including leading oneself,because I remember you were
saying earlier that perhaps youknow your own leader a boss at
the time wasn't actually in hisright role as well, which then
cascaded to others, includingyourself.
Terence Niselow (21:28):
Absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (21:33):
So you actually have to start with
leading from self and thenlearning some skills to then
lead others as well.
Terence Niselow (21:35):
right, yeah, absolutely.
And he wasn't a bad guy, he wasa great guy.
He was a very nice, friendlyperson.
He was just the wrong personfor the job.
Yeah, yeah, okay, and it'simportant, important to be able
to understand that no-transcriptmy skills and my experience
(22:14):
that I have, and I would like toshare that with people and also
chatting to like a few friendsand colleagues.
I'm not the only one that's kindof gone through this experience
and, unfortunately, I thinkthere's a lot of people who are
still stuck in a toxic workenvironment or stuck in an
environment that they just don'tknow how to get out of Right.
So, for me, in terms of, like,my growth path and plan or how
(22:39):
do I see myself in the future, Iwould love to be able to share
my experience with people, sharemy strategies, my tips, my
techniques, my strategies, mytips, my techniques, my hacks,
whatever you want to call themand mentor and help people get
out of the similar situations.
For me, the joy that I get fromactually helping or enabling
someone to pursue somethingthat's going to get them to a
(23:02):
job that is more meaningful,gives them more purpose, makes
me really, really happy and itwould be great if we, let's say,
touch base in like three, fiveyears that I have this little
business that's growing.
That would be fantastic, that'dbe a dream job for me.
Arthi Rabikrisson (23:16):
Oh, my word.
I mean that sounds true topurpose actually, and you know
everyone.
I mean, please do remember tocheck out your project mentor,
which is the initiative thatstarted by Terence and his wife.
Now, you know Terence, Iremember you were saying to me
what was actually surprising youwas that you weren't alone in
this journey.
So everyone you know, whenTerence started sharing his
(23:37):
story, he realized how manyothers were actually silently
going through the same thing.
You know friends, formercolleagues people started to
open up about their own toxicwork experiences and that's when
he and his wife knew they hadto do something.
So they started the smallbusiness, which is focusing on
helping people navigate theirway out of these toxic or even
(23:58):
just bad job situations.
So remember, YourP rojectM entorsupports individuals who feel
stuck, whether it's because offear, self-doubt or simply just
not knowing where to start.
There's practical tools like CVrefinement, job search
strategies, networking tips,interview coaching even, as well
as post-interview guidance,which I think is also very, very
(24:19):
important.
Also, I suppose even the mostimportant thing is that
emotional support that's offered.
So you know, especially whenyou're looking for a new job and
you're out of the market for abit of a while you know there's
a lot of things that can dauntyou and stop you in your tracks.
So, as you can see, everyone,the goals of your Project Mentor
is to help people rebuild theirconfidence and see that you
(24:40):
know what you actually deservebetter, and it's absolutely
possible.
So please do visit the website,www.
yourprojectmentor.
com, and you'll find out a wholelot more Terence.
You know we're coming to the endof our conversation and I'm so
pleased and privileged that youwere able to share part of your
story with us.
I think a lot of people whetherit's gotten to the level of
(25:03):
toxicity or not, but even ifit's just in a bad or difficult
environment, this is going to beso useful for them because
ultimately, well, we don't wantanyone to be in a toxic place.
It just, as you said, from amental health perspective, it
just messes with you.
But you're in such a good spacenow, so I'd love it if we could
end off our conversation todaywhere you could share something
(25:23):
that really keeps you inspired.
So, whether it's a poem or aquote, a song lyric, but you
know, just something that keepsyou uplifted on your journey of
growth, both personally andprofessionally.
What would that be?
Terence Niselow (25:35):
Yeah, sure, this is a good one.
Do you mind if I share two?
Arthi Rabikrisson (25:38):
Yeah, absolutely Go for it.
Terence Niselow (25:40):
Okay, so the first one is a quote from one of
my lifetime mentors, who isMaster Yoda from Star Wars.
Arthi Rabikrisson (25:46):
Oh yes.
Terence Niselow (25:47):
His quote is do or do not.
There is no try.
And why that speaks to me isthat it kind of says if you want
to do something, just do it.
Don't try and do it, just do it.
And that kind of for me is kindof when we spoke about getting
out of your situation Don't justtry, just do things, just go
ahead and start doing things.
(26:07):
And I think this is alsoconnected to that.
The other one that really kindof like speaks to me is you will
miss 100% of the shots you donot take, and I think both of
those kind of speak to you know,doing things, driving action
and just going for it, becauseyou've got nothing to lose if
you don't.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:27):
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, oftentimes we feel we'vegot a lot to lose, but actually
I love the way you've positionedit.
Terrence, this has been anamazing conversation.
Thank you so much for joiningme on the podcast today.
Terence Niselow (26:38):
Thanks, aarti, it's been a privilege and an
honor and yeah, it's been fun.
I really enjoyed it.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:44):
Awesome, Take care Terrence.
Terence Niselow (26:46):
Thanks, Arthi, ciao.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:46):
Bye, Thank you so much for joining us
today.
If you like what you heard,comment, write a review and of
course, share with others too.
I love talking around topicslike these, so if you like my
(27:10):
perspective or insight on thesubject close to your heart or
something that you're grapplingwith, reach out to me in your
comments or send me an email viamy website or connect with me
by linkedin, instagram orfacebook or my social media on
the podcast information.
If it's important to you, thenit's important to me.
(27:31):
So happy listening to theInspire your Life podcast and
catch you soon on the nextepisode.
Bye.
Hello everyone and welcome to the
Inspire your Life podcast withme, your host, Arthi Rabikrisson
.
I believe we find inspirationall around us, especially from
(00:36):
the stories that we all have inus.
My aim with the Inspire yourLife podcast is to bring some of
those real stories to light,Stories of my guests that
resonate with you and me.
It's by listening to thesestories that we can be inspired
and motivate ourselves toovercome, find a new path and
(01:01):
rise even higher than we thoughtpossible.
Joining me on the show today isTerence Niselow.
Terence is a Henley MBA grad,just like myself, a seasoned
(01:23):
operations and processimprovement leader with deep
expertise in Lean Sigma, and hehas a passion for driving
efficiency, quality and businesstransformation.
He's got a proven track recordeverybody of leading
high-performing teams anddelivering measurable results
across industries.
Terence is currently applyinghis skills at a company called
Modulr as their operationsdirector for Europe.
(01:45):
Beyond, obviously, a lot ofcorporate achievements, Terence
is deeply passionate aboutmentoring and supporting
individuals through challengingcareer transitions.
Together with his wife, he'sco-founded a small business
called Your Project Mentor,dedicated to helping people
navigate their way out of toxicjob environments.
Oh boy, we know about thesethings as well.
(02:06):
So today, Terence is going toshare some of his own
experiences of moving away fromtoxicity, so I am so pleased
that he's able to be here withus.
Welcome, Terence.
Terence Niselow (02:17):
Hi Arthi.
Yeah, thanks so much for havingme.
It's such an honour andprivilege to be on your podcast.
Arthi Rabikrisson (02:22):
Oh man, you know we've been talking about
this for such a while.
Terrence, I'm so glad you couldbe here today, so I've just
given everyone a little bit of abiographical view to you, but I
think we want to hear a littlebit more about you, a little bit
deeper.
So please tell us a bit moreabout Terrence.
Terence Niselow (02:38):
Yeah, sure, and thank you so much for that
introduction.
It was quite a good one, yeah,so just a little bit about me.
I'm originally from Cape Town,south Africa now living in a
beautiful small Dutch villagecalled Vleuten which I am
probably pronouncing incorrectly, but that is based in the
Netherlands, which is about 10minutes outside of a city called
(02:58):
Utrecht, and yeah, we've beenliving here for about four years
now, which is quite some time.
And yeah, we made the decisionto immigrate to the Netherlands
because we really wanted totravel and explore the world and
we thought it would be a loteasier to be centrally located
here in Europe, which is quitenice.
But yeah, actually anothercontributing factor to the move
(03:19):
was actually a result of the MBAthat I did at Henley, and I
remember when I was doing theMBA, there was a really strong
component of personaldevelopment which I absolutely
loved.
I really loved that, and Iremember I came up with this
concept which I called thetrifecta of change, and the
trifecta of change for me meanta change in job, a change in
(03:39):
industry and also a change incountry.
And when I was working in SouthAfrica, I worked at one company
in the financial servicesindustry that I think I was
there for like 10 odd years.
It was a really great company,but it was definitely time for
me to spread my wings andchallenge myself, and that's how
I ended up in the Netherlands.
Arthi Rabikrisson (03:56):
Oh wow, I mean, look at that, that
trifecta actually materialized,which is amazing, amazing
Terrence.
Okay, so now I mean thank youfor sharing that, and I mean it
must have not been easy to leaveeverything that you know and
then move across and settle innow, four years later.
Incredible to be able to dothat.
(04:17):
And I guess it's making me a bitcurious, then, about what we're
talking about today, becauseyou know we're specifically
talking about moving away fromtoxicity, and I mean your
trifecta is about moving awayfrom a lot of the known things.
So maybe just help usunderstand.
I mean, where's that kind ofcoming from?
We want to hear you know, forexample, what's that toxicity
potentially that you werereferring to, that you moved
(04:38):
away from.
Terence Niselow (04:39):
Yeah, so I mean , for me, the toxicity that I'm
specifically referring to was,and it's, within the workplace.
And while being in theNetherlands, I've actually had
the fortunate opportunity towork at many different companies
and many different industries,which has been great, but
unfortunately, the last one thatI last company that I worked at
, it wasn't as fantastic as Ithought it was going to be.
So, if you don't mind, I canshare my experience of what I
(05:03):
went through.
Arthi Rabikrisson (05:04):
I would love that.
Thank you.
Terence Niselow (05:05):
Yeah.
So I'd taken a job that onpaper seemed fantastic, like the
salary was good, the benefitswere great, it looked good.
On paper it was kind of like adream job, okay.
But once I stepped into thatrole it didn't take me long to
realize that the environment wasdeeply negative.
There was like no leadership.
There was no real strategy ordirection.
(05:26):
People weren't empowered, theyweren't developed.
And even for my own leader thatI had, let's just say that he
just wasn't one of.
I think it was just in the badrole and I don't think it was
just the right person for thejob.
Arthi Rabikrisson (05:39):
Do you think it was a deeply like a
culturally embedded type of youknow the different things that
you're talking about.
It was it just within your areaor did you feel it was just
wider across the organization?
Terence Niselow (05:50):
no, no, I actually think it was just in
the department specifically thatI was in, because I had quite a
few colleagues that I was thatI built up good relationships
with, and they loved the company.
I would share my experiencewith them and I'd say like, this
is how I'm, how I'm feeling,and they had a completely
opposite opinion.
So I don't think it was acrossthe whole organization.
It was actually quite a bigorganization.
(06:12):
I think it was really narroweddown to just the specific
department that I was in and Ihonestly think it was just a,
just a, wasn't.
It wasn't a good fit for me, ifthat makes sense, okay, okay.
Arthi Rabikrisson (06:23):
So I mean it's.
I mean it sounds bad, it reallydoes, but I guess you know
there's bad and then there'stoxic.
So when did that realizationcome to you, that actually this
is becoming toxic?
Terence Niselow (06:37):
yeah.
So I mean, you know, there arelike lots of signs of it.
There are signs of like a, youknow, poor communication, lack
of trust, there's lots of drama,people are were always negative
.
There was a lot of thingshappening all around me, but
there were two big, I call themaha moments for me, which I
realized that it's time to getout or something's really bad.
(06:59):
So the first moment for me waswhen I was actually meeting up
with a friend for lunch and wewere just casually catching up
and I'm normally like I am now.
I'm quite a bubbly person, I'menergetic, you know, I bring the
energy and she actually stoppedme like halfway through our
lunch conversation and she askedme are you feeling okay, like
what's going on?
And I said no, I'm completelyfine.
(07:20):
And she said to me well, you'requite, you very quiet, you
reserved, and that's completelyout of character for me.
And she honestly thought that Iwas sick or that someone close
to me had passed away, which wasquite alarming.
And then the second aha momentthat I had was when I was really
listening to a voice note thatI'd previously sent to a friend
of mine.
So just for some backgroundcontext, because I now live
(07:41):
abroad.
I still have quite a fewfriends that I stay in touch
with in South Africa and I dothis through like excessively
long voice notes, and I know itirritates them, but it's a great
way of staying in touch.
So what I do is that I listento my previous voice note that
I've sent to them, just so thatI know what's going on and where
I left the conversation.
And what actually happened waswhen I was listening to one of
(08:03):
my voice notes.
I was absolutely shocked at howangry I was when I was telling
a friend a story about work andI just could not believe the
person that I actually became sofor me, I started to realize
that things actually became, inmy mind, toxic when it actually
deeply impacted who I was as aperson and the person that I was
becoming.
Arthi Rabikrisson (08:24):
Wow, so how long were you in the role then,
Terry?
Terence Niselow (08:27):
I think I was in the role for like maybe, geez
, maybe six, seven months untilI realized that things were not
going great.
But I mean, I'm quite anoptimistic person, so I was,
like you know, I kept tellingmyself I can make this work.
It's a stable job, the perksare really great and the perks
were great.
I had like I was getting 36days of leave and all my friends
(08:50):
were telling me it's unheard ofto get those kind of like
benefits.
Arthi Rabikrisson (08:52):
You're so lucky.
I'm sure that's what they musthave been thinking, yeah.
Terence Niselow (08:56):
And I was telling myself that again and
again and I was like you know,but it really started to weigh
me down.
Arthi Rabikrisson (09:02):
Yeah, absolutely, it sounds like you
were convincing yourself thatthere were so many great
benefits that you couldn't dowithout that.
Maybe, you know, you hadactually realized it earlier,
but again, you were just kind ofconvincing yourself that, ok,
we need to kind of stick it outbecause there's so many great
things that could happen here.
All right.
And I mean it's important tokind of note that firstly, there
(09:23):
was an external view, thiscolleague, this friend of yours,
who kind of said hey, you'renot showing up the way you
normally do.
And then I suppose you know thefact that you sort of realized
it for yourself through thevoice note as well, and I love
that.
You know, normally in coachingconversations we often do say,
as coaches to our clients, it'sso important to kind of reflect
back and look back at any sortof recordings or writings.
(09:45):
That one does, you know, andI'm so glad that you did that as
well.
So, okay, so you had these twoaha moments.
What did you do thereafter?
Terence Niselow (09:53):
Yeah, so once I had these aha moments.
So me as a person, I'mgenerally someone who's very
open and very lucky to have,like a very supportive wife, a
good group of friends and peoplethat I can really rely on and
that I can trust.
Arthi Rabikrisson (10:07):
Lovely.
Terence Niselow (10:08):
And I think the first thing for me was what I
did was I just started speakingabout the problem and I just
started getting it off my chest.
And once I started doing thatand actually acknowledging the
situation that I was in, Istarted making it real and
realizing I had to get out.
Yeah, I started making it realand realizing I had to get out.
Yeah, and I also like I'm awarethat sometimes, when you're in
a specific situation, whetheryou're in a toxic environment or
(10:30):
whether you're in a badrelationship or whatever it is
you might tend to have theseblinkers on, and that is why I
always find it useful to chat toother people to get their
perspective and insight on thesituation at hand.
Arthi Rabikrisson (10:42):
Right, right, right.
Medication is key, absolutelykey, right?
So, firstly, very brave of youto start speaking about it,
because again, you were in aspace of convincing yourself to
try and keep going right, yeahyeah, so I applaud you for at
least starting to speak outthrough what sounds like a very
supportive ecosystem.
Terence Niselow (11:02):
Thank, you, yeah.
And then once I startedchatting to people me personally
, I'm also quite a.
I'm very action orientated andresults driven as a person.
So the second thing that I knewwas like, okay, I need to dive
into action I knew something hadto happen.
So, as you mentioned, myexperience is in Lean Six Sigma
and I've got a lot of experienceproject management and I
(11:22):
actually turned this into like amini project that I called Get
Terry Back yeah.
So this is going to sound alittle nerdy.
Arthi Rabikrisson (11:30):
Sounds like the trifecta effect this is cool
.
I like that you come up withthese things.
Terence Niselow (11:36):
Okay, so I actually created I used a Gantt
chart more like a project plan,and I created a project plan
with different tasks andactivities.
Arthi Rabikrisson (11:44):
Yeah.
Terence Niselow (11:45):
And I had these like milestones and goals that
I was working towards and I usedthe scan chart and I would open
it up every day and I would useit to hold myself accountable
and ensure that I was slowly andsurely chipping away and
working towards my target ofjust getting out of my situation
.
Arthi Rabikrisson (12:03):
All right, okay, and I mean, how long did
it take you to actually get outof that situation?
Terence Niselow (12:09):
From the point that I actually realized that I
had to do something, I startedthis project.
I think it took me about maybetwo to three months to actually
get out.
Arthi Rabikrisson (12:19):
Okay, okay.
So that deliberate kind of thisis where I need to go.
This is what I need to do inorder to get to that point.
Do you feel that that washighly effective in getting you
out in that time frame, asopposed to maybe following some
other pathway?
Terence Niselow (12:33):
I think so for me.
I didn't have a specific targetof getting out within two to
three months, but my milestonesand my targets that I had in
place were, for example,exploring different
opportunities, talking todifferent people, journaling,
for example.
That was like something that Istarted getting into to really
help putting down my thoughtsand fears down on paper, and I
(12:54):
think, just because I had that,I started gaining momentum and
things just started happening.
And then, as I realized that Ihad to do something, I would put
it in the Gantt chart and I'dsay, okay, this has to get done
by within a week.
Arthi Rabikrisson (13:06):
Okay, and you kept yourself to those kind of
like smaller timelines.
Terence Niselow (13:10):
Exactly.
Arthi Rabikrisson (13:11):
Okay.
Terence Niselow (13:12):
Exactly, and that just helped me gain
momentum and gain progress to dostuff, because it's actually,
if you take a step back, it'sactually super daunting and it's
so scary to kind of search fora different job.
I've got like a whole bunch ofexperience, you know.
So, being in the netherlands,I've worked at quite a few
different places now, which isactually quite different,
because in south africa I onlyworked at one company and I've
(13:34):
lived there like my whole lifehere.
I've been here for four years,I've worked at four different
places.
Yes, so I've got a good process, a good like technique of like
how to go about looking for jobsin terms of networking, those
kind of things.
But it's actually I've chatteda couple of my other friends and
colleagues who are kind of inthe job market.
They are scared, they don'tknow what to do or how to go
(13:55):
about doing it.
How do you network, what's agood way to optimizing your CV
or those kind of things.
Arthi Rabikrisson (14:00):
So yeah, Okay , sure, it's a whole process.
I those kind of things.
So, yeah, okay, sure it's awhole process.
I agree with you, it's verydaunting and sometimes far
easier to kind of stay putbecause there's that security
that comes with it, right.
But again, you're saying you'vehad some experience.
Well, firstly, that big shiftout of SA, out of you know being
in your company in South Africafor so long, that already gave
(14:20):
you a little bit of a blueprintof your ability to kind of now
move into other roles whileyou've been at the Netherlands
as well.
So I guess it's almost like abit of a habit was unlocked and
it's something that you're moreat ease with should you need to
do it right, absolutely.
So I mean, do you feel likewhere you're at now, you've
overcome, like, the effects fromthat toxic environment?
Terence Niselow (14:43):
Absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (14:43):
Okay, that's great to hear.
Terence Niselow (14:45):
Yeah, it's so incredible, just like getting
out of that situation and howmore energized and motivated and
driven I feel.
Like I want to exercise again.
I want to just do a lot ofthings.
Relative to where I was at myprevious company, I was
literally I was the opposite.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:01):
Wow, it's like you have held back and now
suddenly there's this freedomand clarity and you just want to
keep moving forward.
Terence Niselow (15:10):
No, absolutely.
And it's like it's so strangebecause, also, like when I send
my voice notes again, I actuallylisten back to my friends and
they give me comments and theysay, terry, I don't know what's
happened, what's the big change?
But I mean, obviously Ihappened, what's like the big
change?
But oh, I mean obviously I tellthem I changed my job, but they
tell me I feel I sound a lothappier.
I mean, don't get me wrong, Ido miss my, my perks and all
those leave days from time totime, but it's definitely not
(15:33):
worth like the happiness at theend of the day well, this is it
right.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:37):
I suppose it comes down to like what you
truly value, and it sounds likeyour kind of health growth
progress was actually a bigvalue driver for you as well.
Terence Niselow (15:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (15:49):
No, no, wonderful.
Wonderful to hear that and Imean I'm mindful of what you
said.
You know about, you know those,that kind of deliberate action
that you took and it's part ofyour, your DNA and your
personality to do that andthat's not a natural reaction
for many people.
So, you know, to kind of havethat switch of.
I know that this environment isnot working for me, but I know
(16:12):
I need to get out of it, butthen I don't know where to start
and that keeps a person kind ofspiraling.
Now, in your case, you almostyou know, because of your nature
, you were able to say I'm goingto shift this into action and
you then, you know, you createdyour plan and mapped it out and
all of that.
So I guess, just for ourlisteners who might be in the
situation I've described, itdoesn't come naturally for them
(16:33):
to kind of become active andtake steps forward.
I mean, could you offersomething in terms of baby steps
that they could feelcomfortable, you know, on this
daunting journey to make thisbig change that might be useful
to them?
Terence Niselow (16:45):
Yeah, sure.
So just thinking about it, Ithink for me the first thing
would be about seeking support.
Okay, With regards to the chat.
Arthi Rabikrisson (16:54):
Talk to someone.
Yeah, talk to someone.
Terence Niselow (16:56):
Because sometimes, like you said, you
start to spiral and the best wayto get out of spiraling would
be to kind of talk to someoneand seek support about how to
kind of like get out of thesituation and also just to make
sure that you're not going crazyif that makes sense.
Arthi Rabikrisson (17:12):
Oh yeah, yes, yes.
Terence Niselow (17:14):
And they can also help you recognize the
signs that you're in a toxicwork environment.
And it's when someone else kindof gives their perception of
your environment and tells youthe story it's clear if that
makes sense.
Also, I think you mentioned areally good point.
I think reflection is veryimportant.
So like journaling for me wassomething that also helped me
kind of realize what do I needto do, how, how am I feeling,
(17:37):
and acknowledging that is reallyimportant.
So just putting stuff down onpaper, okay, amazing.
I think the second tip for mewould be just about exploring
what your different options are.
So if you're in a toxicenvironment or a toxic work
situation, what are yourdifferent options internally and
externally?
Arthi Rabikrisson (17:55):
Okay.
Terence Niselow (17:56):
And I remember just doing that gave me a sense
of like open the door a littlebit, and then it also started to
shine the light and say, hey,do not.
This is not only one job thatyou can do.
There's also otheropportunities out there you can
go and get there.
And that's going to requirelike a lot of things for you to
do and should require you tokind of do your research.
You kind of need to update CVs,optimize your LinkedIn profile,
(18:21):
start networking, preparing forinterviews.
And that leads to my third tip,which is why I think it's
really important to create a bitof a project plan, or like what
I would call an exit planstrategy, to help you kind of
get out of your situation.
And for me, I've always foundthat having a plan provides
confidence and clarity andreally helps to kind of give you
(18:41):
a sense of direction of whatyou need to go and do.
Arthi Rabikrisson (18:44):
I like it, you preaching to the converted
here.
I talk about plans all the time, but I'm glad that you know
you've got such a brilliant casein point, and not just this
time, but I suppose even inother instances where some
planning has allowed you toreach, you know, some key
milestones, yeah, ideas, becauseit is about just getting the
(19:06):
ball rolling, you know, to beable to pick up the phone and
just have a quick conversationwith someone you trust, I mean
that shouldn't be too difficultto do.
There is a bit of vulnerabilityas well because you know,
sometimes people may want tokind of say but everything's
going fine.
You know they don't necessarilywant to say that they're
struggling or something is verydifficult.
So there's almost that internalbarrier that someone has to
(19:28):
overcome a little bit to stillalso be able to vocalize it.
But I guess if you're choosingsomeone you trust, maybe it
becomes easier.
And I love that journaling froma reflective piece was also
important.
So some really, reallywonderful tips there.
I think Terrence, from yourside, and I guess I mean you've
kind of shared a bit on yourlessons and I'm wondering, you
(19:49):
know, from this particular time,are there any lessons that
stand out for you that you feelyou know what.
I'm using it now, even on mygrowth path, and it's shaping
where I want to go.
Is there anything like that?
Terence Niselow (20:01):
Yeah, so I think for me I'm a firm believer
that you always take awaysomething from every experience
you go through, so like doingthat whole reflection piece is
really important.
But one of the key lessons forme that I learned is that you
know no job is actually worthyour mental health.
No amount of perks or benefitsthat you can get could make up
for being in an environment thatslowly chips away at your
(20:22):
self-worth and your self-esteem.
And, yeah, just genuinely likepay attention to how you feel,
not just during work but alsoafter work.
And I think walking away fromsomething toxic isn't a sign of
failure.
I think it's a sign of strength.
So that's some of the keylessons that I've learned, and I
think for me also that whatI've realized now that I'm in
(20:44):
this role, with my new job andnew company, it's made me really
realize the power and theimpact being in a leadership
role can have on people.
Yeah, you know they say withgreat power comes great
responsibility, and that iscompletely true.
And I think people who are inthe leadership position need to
(21:05):
acknowledge and realize how theycan severely impact someone's
working situation.
Arthi Rabikrisson (21:10):
So yeah, absolutely.
There's a whole host of skillsthat need to come with leading,
including leading oneself,because I remember you were
saying earlier that perhaps youknow your own leader a boss at
the time wasn't actually in hisright role as well, which then
cascaded to others, includingyourself.
Terence Niselow (21:28):
Absolutely.
Arthi Rabikrisson (21:33):
So you actually have to start with
leading from self and thenlearning some skills to then
lead others as well.
Terence Niselow (21:35):
right, yeah, absolutely.
And he wasn't a bad guy, he wasa great guy.
He was a very nice, friendlyperson.
He was just the wrong personfor the job.
Yeah, yeah, okay, and it'simportant, important to be able
to understand that no-transcriptmy skills and my experience
(22:14):
that I have, and I would like toshare that with people and also
chatting to like a few friendsand colleagues.
I'm not the only one that's kindof gone through this experience
and, unfortunately, I thinkthere's a lot of people who are
still stuck in a toxic workenvironment or stuck in an
environment that they just don'tknow how to get out of Right.
So, for me, in terms of, like,my growth path and plan or how
(22:39):
do I see myself in the future, Iwould love to be able to share
my experience with people, sharemy strategies, my tips, my
techniques, my strategies, mytips, my techniques, my hacks,
whatever you want to call themand mentor and help people get
out of the similar situations.
For me, the joy that I get fromactually helping or enabling
someone to pursue somethingthat's going to get them to a
(23:02):
job that is more meaningful,gives them more purpose, makes
me really, really happy and itwould be great if we, let's say,
touch base in like three, fiveyears that I have this little
business that's growing.
That would be fantastic, that'dbe a dream job for me.
Arthi Rabikrisson (23:16):
Oh, my word.
I mean that sounds true topurpose actually, and you know
everyone.
I mean, please do remember tocheck out your project mentor,
which is the initiative thatstarted by Terence and his wife.
Now, you know Terence, Iremember you were saying to me
what was actually surprising youwas that you weren't alone in
this journey.
So everyone you know, whenTerence started sharing his
(23:37):
story, he realized how manyothers were actually silently
going through the same thing.
You know friends, formercolleagues people started to
open up about their own toxicwork experiences and that's when
he and his wife knew they hadto do something.
So they started the smallbusiness, which is focusing on
helping people navigate theirway out of these toxic or even
(23:58):
just bad job situations.
So remember, YourP rojectM entorsupports individuals who feel
stuck, whether it's because offear, self-doubt or simply just
not knowing where to start.
There's practical tools like CVrefinement, job search
strategies, networking tips,interview coaching even, as well
as post-interview guidance,which I think is also very, very
(24:19):
important.
Also, I suppose even the mostimportant thing is that
emotional support that's offered.
So you know, especially whenyou're looking for a new job and
you're out of the market for abit of a while you know there's
a lot of things that can dauntyou and stop you in your tracks.
So, as you can see, everyone,the goals of your Project Mentor
is to help people rebuild theirconfidence and see that you
(24:40):
know what you actually deservebetter, and it's absolutely
possible.
So please do visit the website,www.
yourprojectmentor.
com, and you'll find out a wholelot more Terence.
You know we're coming to the endof our conversation and I'm so
pleased and privileged that youwere able to share part of your
story with us.
I think a lot of people whetherit's gotten to the level of
(25:03):
toxicity or not, but even ifit's just in a bad or difficult
environment, this is going to beso useful for them because
ultimately, well, we don't wantanyone to be in a toxic place.
It just, as you said, from amental health perspective, it
just messes with you.
But you're in such a good spacenow, so I'd love it if we could
end off our conversation todaywhere you could share something
(25:23):
that really keeps you inspired.
So, whether it's a poem or aquote, a song lyric, but you
know, just something that keepsyou uplifted on your journey of
growth, both personally andprofessionally.
What would that be?
Terence Niselow (25:35):
Yeah, sure, this is a good one.
Do you mind if I share two?
Arthi Rabikrisson (25:38):
Yeah, absolutely Go for it.
Terence Niselow (25:40):
Okay, so the first one is a quote from one of
my lifetime mentors, who isMaster Yoda from Star Wars.
Arthi Rabikrisson (25:46):
Oh yes.
Terence Niselow (25:47):
His quote is do or do not.
There is no try.
And why that speaks to me isthat it kind of says if you want
to do something, just do it.
Don't try and do it, just do it.
And that kind of for me is kindof when we spoke about getting
out of your situation Don't justtry, just do things, just go
ahead and start doing things.
(26:07):
And I think this is alsoconnected to that.
The other one that really kindof like speaks to me is you will
miss 100% of the shots you donot take, and I think both of
those kind of speak to you know,doing things, driving action
and just going for it, becauseyou've got nothing to lose if
you don't.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:27):
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, oftentimes we feel we'vegot a lot to lose, but actually
I love the way you've positionedit.
Terrence, this has been anamazing conversation.
Thank you so much for joiningme on the podcast today.
Terence Niselow (26:38):
Thanks, aarti, it's been a privilege and an
honor and yeah, it's been fun.
I really enjoyed it.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:44):
Awesome, Take care Terrence.
Terence Niselow (26:46):
Thanks, Arthi, ciao.
Arthi Rabikrisson (26:46):
Bye, Thank you so much for joining us
today.
If you like what you heard,comment, write a review and of
course, share with others too.
I love talking around topicslike these, so if you like my
(27:10):
perspective or insight on thesubject close to your heart or
something that you're grapplingwith, reach out to me in your
comments or send me an email viamy website or connect with me
by linkedin, instagram orfacebook or my social media on
the podcast information.
If it's important to you, thenit's important to me.
(27:31):
So happy listening to theInspire your Life podcast and
catch you soon on the nextepisode.
Bye.
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