The Intentional Midlife Mom Podcast | Simple, Practical Life, Home & Mindset Solutions for Moms Over 40

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A couple weeks ago, I got a voice message at 1:47 in the morning.

From one of my coaching clients. 

She was sitting on the floor of her closet. Door closed. Lights off. Barely breathing.

Not because something dramatic happened. Not because of a crisis or a fight or some catastrophic event.

But because she didn't know where else to put the heaviness she was carrying.

And she said something I've hear...

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We've covered a lot of ground over the last nine episodes.

The loneliness. The invisible load. The one-sided growth.

The grief. The loss of intimacy. The cycle of breakdowns.

All the ways midlife marriage can leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and utterly exhausted.

And maybe—if you've been listening from the beginning—you're sitting there thinking:

"Okay. I see it now. I understand what's happenin...

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Let me tell you about a cycle that's breaking midlife women.

She tries to communicate. Calmly. Clearly. Directly.

She says: "I'm overwhelmed."

She says: "I need help."

She says: "Something has to change."

And he nods. He says "okay." He makes a token effort.

And then... nothing changes.

So she tries again. And again. And again.

Until finally, she stops trying.

She goes quiet. S...

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Let me tell you about a paradox that plagues midlife women.

She misses being touched.

She misses feeling desired. Wanted. Connected.

She misses the intimacy that used to come naturally.

But when he reaches for her?

She pulls away.

Not because she doesn't want connection.

But because intimacy feels like one more thing on her to-do list.

One more person needing something from her body.

One more demand she doesn't have ...

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There's a question that haunts midlife women.

It doesn't come with drama or fireworks.

It comes quietly. In the middle of an ordinary Tuesday.

When you're standing in your kitchen, looking at the life you built, and thinking:

"Is this all there is?"

Not with anger. Not with resentment.

Just... quiet disappointment.

You worked so hard to get here.

You did everything you were supposed to do.

You built th...

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Let me tell you about the loneliest kind of growth.

It's the kind where you're doing all the work—reading the books, going to therapy, listening to the podcasts, doing the exercises—while he's... doing nothing.

You're learning about attachment styles and emotional regulation and how to communicate better.

You're working on yourself. Growing. Changing. Evolving.

And he's just... the same.

Still...

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He says he's trying.

He really does.

He tells the kids to "respect their mom."

He handles the family finances without you having to ask.

He fixes things around the house before they become emergencies.

He keeps doing what he's always done—consistently, reliably.

But it doesn't land. Not even close.

Because you're drowning in decisions and worry and emotional weight—and he's offering you... ...

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Let me tell you what nobody sees.

She's the glue.
 The memory.
 The calendar.
 The compass.

She's the one who plans the college visits and remembers who needs a cavity filled.

The one who's worrying at 2 a.m. about her kid's anxiety—whether they have real friends, whether they'll be okay, whether that comment they made last week was just teenage drama or something darker.

She's th...

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Let's talk about the loneliest feeling in the world.

It's not being alone.

It's being surrounded by people who love you—and still feeling completely invisible.

You don't feel like yourself anymore.

And you definitely don't feel like anyone else sees you either.

Not your husband.
 Not your kids.
 Maybe not even your friends.

You've been shape-shifting for years to hold it all together.

Ad...

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Let's talk about the thing that's making you feel crazy.

He's not doing nothing.

He's mowing the lawn. Picking up dinner. Handling his side of things.

He's doing what he's always done.

But now? It doesn't feel like enough—because it isn't.

The load changed. You changed. The needs changed.

And the marriage? It didn't evolve.

So you're standing there thinking:

"Why does eve...

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Can we talk about the thing you've been thinking but haven't said out loud?

The thing that makes your stomach drop when it crosses your mind at 2 a.m.?

The question that feels too scary, too final, too real to even whisper:

"What if I don't even love him anymore?"

Maybe you've been wondering this for weeks. Maybe months. Maybe it hit you out of nowhere last Tuesday when he walked in the door ...

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You've seen the memes. You've heard the term. Maybe you've even laughed at the jokes—the ones about being the family's human search engine, the walking calendar, the keeper of all knowledge about where the permission slips are, what size shoes everyone wears, and who has which food allergies.

But maybe today is the first time you realize—it's you.

You are the default parent.

You're the one w...

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You've heard it all before—"Just be grateful." "Find the silver lining." "Focus on what you can control."

And if you're in the thick of it right now—managing aging parents who need more every week, grown kids who still need you in ways you didn't expect, a household that only runs because you're the one running it, plus work, relationships, and trying to remember the la...

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In this episode we're talking about something that might sting a little at first, but if you stick with me, it could change everything.

Let's talk about rescue.

Because if you're anything like most midlife women, you've been told you just need more support, more rest, more help.

And don't get me wrong—those things matter.

But they're not what's keeping you stuck.

So what is? We’ll unpack ...

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Here's the reframe that brought the biggest relief today inside the Sprint: Survival isn't failure. Survival is success. Survival is strength. 

I know that might sound impossible to believe—especially if you've been telling yourself that you're behind, that you're not doing enough, that everyone else has it more together than you do.

But today, inside Day 3 of the 3-Day Survival Mode Rescue Spri...

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Do you ever feel like your brain is screaming, "I can't handle one more thing!"?

Like you're already at capacity, and then someone asks you to remember something else, do something else, manage something else—and you want to just... break?

That moment when one more demand hits your already full plate, and instead of handling it gracefully, you either snap or completely shut down?

That's exactly w...

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Ever feel like you're just crashing out over and over again?

You push through the day, white-knuckling your way from one demand to the next. You collapse at night, scroll your phone for twenty minutes, and then wake up tomorrow to do it all again. And somewhere in that cycle, you start to wonder: "What's wrong with me? Why can't I get it together?"

Well, I'll tell you something I shared wit...

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What if I told you that survival mode isn't a sign of failure—it's actually proof of your strength?

I know that sounds radical. Maybe even impossible to believe right now. Because everywhere you look, you're getting the message that survival mode is something to escape, something to be ashamed of, something that proves you're not handling life well enough.

But I believe the exact opposite. I believe ...

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I need to tell you something that might sting a little.

The real reason you keep starting over isn't lack of willpower. It's not because you're lazy, uncommitted, or broken. It's because you're trying to fix the wrong thing.

I'm Jennifer Roskamp, and if you listened to last week's episode about becoming Survival Mode Strong, you know I don't sugarcoat the hard stuff. Today, we&apo...