March 26, 2025 • 44 mins
Vaughn Bethell discusses his 15-year career in the fitness industry, during which he built a successful business from 23 to over 350 clients before stepping away from it all in 2016. Overwhelmed by the physical, mental, and emotional toll, Vaughn transitioned to real estate and committed to putting his family first. He shares insights on personal development, the importance of self-care, and the value of intentional fatherhood. Vaughn emphasizes how he’s implemented lessons learned from his fitness business to prioritize family and financial stability through a new business model. The episode touches on the critical role of coaches in personal and professional growth and the impact of redefining success and scaling in business. Vaughn also highlights the importance of expressing love and pride as a father to ensure a strong, supportive family dynamic.
Vaughn Bethell - LinkedIn
00:00 From Fitness to Burnout: My Journey Begins
01:20 The Breaking Point: Walking Away from Success
02:50 Transition to Real Estate: A New Beginning
03:41 Family First: Redefining Success
05:14 The Importance of Self-Care and Coaching
09:12 Identity Crisis: Rediscovering Myself
12:15 Faith and Family: The Core of My Being
16:32 The Role of Coaches in Personal and Professional Growth
22:08 Redefining Scale for Efficiency
22:28 Scaling Down for Happiness
22:46 The Pressure of Managing People
23:10 Coaching and Mentorship
23:21 Intentional Fatherhood
24:40 Involved vs. Intentional Father
25:48 Intentional Activities with Kids
28:12 Dating Your Wife
31:28 The Emotional Rewards of Fatherhood
39:44 Promoting the Flip Life Podcast
Follow Kenny Johnson on social media:
LinkedIn
Instagram
YouTube
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I was in the fitness industry for 15 years.
Speaker (00:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Um, but when I opened up the, uh, the doors in my own
facility, um.
I had 23 clients when I openedthe doors to my own facility.
That's a good number.
Um, but in 2016, 11 years later,I decided to walk away from it
all and I built it from 23clients to over 350 clients and
a staff of 14.
(00:23):
When I walked away, but italmost drove me in the ground.
Speaker (00:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
It almost killed me.
Speaker (00:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
My kids were five and eight atthe time.
Yes.
So closer to the age of yourkids.
Yes, and I realized that I was,I had no, I was spending no time
with my kids or my wife.
Right.
Um.
'cause I was working, I was inthe gym every morning from 4:45
AM until about 8 30, 9 o'clockat night.
(00:49):
Yes.
Monday through Friday, SaturdaysI was doing half days, which,
you know, six in the morningtill three.
And then still by the time I gothome on Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Right.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And Sundays, I was so exhausted that I was just like,
I feel I just wanted to veg out.
Right.
Speaker (01:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So, um, mentally wasn't there.
Speaker (01:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
For my family.
Yeah.
Um.
And so it just, uh, got close tocausing me in my marriage.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, and I just wasn't given,wasn't able to give to my family
what they needed.
Right.
So something had to change.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, so I literally got to thepoint where like I couldn't take
anymore and I gave my staff and,uh, my clients 30 days.
(02:09):
I said that's about all I gotleft in me.
Speaker (02:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I helped, uh, my team find other jobs.
If they wanted other jobs.
I actually, mm-hmm.
Gave clients to my team members.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so made sure my clients hadthat option to go train
somewhere else.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, fortunately enough, I was atthe point where I built that,
that membership model, right?
Mm-hmm.
So I only had five clients atthe time that were on a pay in
full.
And all of their, uh, paid infull memberships were coming up
(02:35):
for renewal at the end of thatmonth.
Speaker (02:37):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (02:38):
So you
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Like,
Speaker 3 (02:39):
if any, anytime.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
It was a good time.
Yeah.
It was where it was like, Godland lined it up perfectly where
I could literally walk away.
Okay.
Um, and a lot of people ask me,why didn't I sell it?
Why didn't I do this?
Da da da dah.
And that's like, to go through asales process of a, a business
that size would take nine monthsto a year.
And then to find the rightbuyer.
Right.
And then another thing was, itwas, it was my identity at the
(03:00):
time.
Yeah.
I had built that from the groundup, so that company had, the
name was attached to me.
Yes.
And I still to this day, getpeople come to me and say, Hey,
how's, you know, how's Q?
How's the gym going?
I'm like, I'm not doing thatanymore.
Okay.
But the fact that being able tosell that to somebody, or even
give it to my team and then.
You know, if they were to runinto ground or mm-hmm.
Something bad would've happened,it'll still be associated with
(03:21):
my name.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So I just couldn't do that.
You, so,
Speaker 7 (03:23):
So,
Speaker 2 (03:24):
um, but yeah, that was a decision that, you know, I
had to get away from that andthen within two years is where I
found real estate.
Speaker (03:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
So, uh, I think is one of the best decisions I ever
made.
Yes.
Um, but getting into the realestate game, uh, there's a
couple things that I learnedfrom, uh, the fitness business.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and just business in generalthat I knew I wanted to start
this company, a company Icurrently own, uh, a lot
differently.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And the biggest thing on thatwas put my family first.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Right?
Yes.
And so myself first, and then myfamily, because believe it or
not, people are like, oh, youown the gym.
You should be in.
Top shape.
Right.
I was in the worst shape I'veever been in.
Right.
I in the gym because the stressand I always took care of
everybody else first.
Right, right, right.
And left myself last.
And then last thing I wanted todo at the end of the day was
spend another hour in the gymworking out.
Right, right, right, right.
Um, so, uh, I started thiscompany.
(04:15):
I was like, family comes firstand I won't let business get in,
play in the, in the way offamily.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, the biggest thing onthat is like, I'm not willing to
do anything after hours.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so mm-hmm.
Yeah.
A lot of times people are like,I don't ever see you at the
meetups.
I'm like,'cause most of'em areat in the evening.
Yes.
That's family time.
Yes.
Or on the weekend.
(04:35):
I don't do things on theweekend.
Um, so that's designated for myfamily.
So, um, putting those thingsfirst and then financially
making sure that my family'staken care of first.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
So implementing the Profit firstmodel
Speaker 5 (04:46):
mm-hmm.
In
Speaker 2 (04:46):
business.
Okay.
Um, so always making sure that.
We're profitable making thatprofit, the money is coming to
me first.
Mm-hmm.
Or me as in my family.
Mm-hmm.
And it's my per personal bankaccount.
Mm-hmm.
Um, to take care of my familybecause if things are good at
home, things would be good atwork, right?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but those are two thingsthat I really wanted to
implement.
(05:06):
In this company to make surethat family came first.
Yes.
And my kids are at five andeight at the time, like I
mentioned.
Yeah.
That's prime developmental time.
Yes.
That I needed to be involved andI wasn't.
Mm-hmm.
So, um, now, you know, thosekids are 16 and 13 now.
Yes.
But I spend more time with themand I've spent more time with
(05:28):
them over the last six, sevenyears.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, than I ever did in the firstfive to eight years of their
life.
So that's been a significantchange.
Speaker (05:36):
Yvonne, you've got me salivating here and I'm open
sponge to everything you're,you're, you're going towards.
So, um, thank you for sharingthat, that beginning.
I got a lot to unpack in justwhat you said.
Um.
If you don't mind, let me startwith sort of earlier Vaughn, um,
maybe even the household, but Ijust feel like, you know, you
mentioned taking care ofeveryone else first.
(05:56):
Yep.
I feel like I'm that way aswell.
There's a sense of like, iseveryone comfortable?
Is everyone, you know?
Okay.
It's men in general.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're just, you're,you're looking around and, um, I
think that's a great quality.
That's a strong quality can alsobe a detriment sometimes if
Absolutely.
You, you're putting yourselflike, at, like you said, like
you weren't working out, but youwere making everyone else taken
(06:18):
care of.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (06:19):
So maybe gimme some, you know, is that just how
you've always been, was thatmodel to
Speaker 2 (06:22):
you?
So looking at personality testsand, and behavioral tests and
things such as that.
Uh, I love people.
And one of the things that weuse in our company is the
culture index.
Okay.
And you might've heard likepredictive index and things such
as that, as different, uh, youknow, like character tests that
people can do.
Mm-hmm.
And in the culture index, I'm awhat's called a four people
person.
(06:43):
Right.
Okay.
So everything you, for me is, isbuilt towards people.
I like to win with people.
I'm not like gonna run everybodyover to get my stuff, you know?
I wanna win with people, right?
Mm-hmm.
I wanna bring people with me.
I'm a social person.
I like to be around people.
Um, yeah, I'm very patient,
Speaker 5 (06:58):
um,
Speaker 2 (06:58):
which you have to be a people person to, to be
patient.
Um, and my detail is extremelylow, which is crazy because, uh,
you know, I like, because I liketo focus on people.
No, I'm the, I'm the same way,right?
So I'm, I'm, uh, I'm driven bypeople.
Because of that, you know, I'mjust wired to try to take care
of everybody else and make sureeverybody else is taken care of
(07:19):
before myself.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Um, but one of the things I've learned over the
last, especially the last 10years is that, and my coach told
me this, it is probably 15 yearsago, and it's really over the
last five years has reallybecome strong to where it, it
just stays in my mind.
He goes, when, when you getbetter, everything gets better.
And what I mean by that is youneed to take care of yourself
first.
And when people say that,they're like, think you're gonna
(07:41):
be selfish, but it's not beingselfish.
Right?
'cause think about the analogyof the plane.
When the oxygen mask drop, whatdo they tell you to do?
Put Put it on first.
Put your mask on first.
First?
Yeah.
Why do they tell you to do that?
Because if you pass out who'sgonna take care of the people
that are relying on you.
Right.
Exactly.
So the same thing comes as to usas fathers and as men.
(08:02):
if we're married and we havekids, like we have to be at,
prime.
And peak performance as much aswe possibly can.
'cause when we're at peakperformance and high energy
levels and we're thinkingclearly, then we can give back
to our family.
The most.
But in order to do that, wegotta take care of ourselves.
Right?
And take care of ourselvesphysically.
(08:22):
You know, working out, stayinghealthy, having energy, getting
good amounts of sleep, thingssuch as that, right?
but also spiritually,emotionally, you know, when
we're taking care of ourselvesthat way as well.
I.
We can then pour into ourfamily, pour into our kids, and
help them develop mm-hmm.
With your kids, you know, theage that they are now, say three
and eight
Speaker 5 (08:40):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Or prime developmental ages.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So you being available and beingable to pour into them
spiritually, mentally,emotionally, but also physically
through your energy levels andbeing there for'em is gonna help
them throughout thatdevelopmental process.
Speaker (08:56):
Okay.
I, I feel like what I am most.
Personally most interesting inthe, the time, the values you've
instilled in the kid, likeyou're talking about, um, the
developmental stage, you saiddid a couple times now.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker (09:07):
So I'm like, I'm in that time, like I'm,
Speaker 3 (09:09):
yeah.
Speaker (09:09):
I don't wanna mess up, you know, like I wanna learn
things.
Right.
Um, and you mentioned a coach aswell.
Mm-hmm.
Um, what are some things, Idon't wanna say like the number
one thing, but what are somemaybe a, a a few things that
you've learned since, you know,this, the, the turning point of
your life.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah.
Speaker (09:25):
The, the breaking point.
Yep.
Um, where the, you shut down thegym.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yep.
Speaker (09:30):
To now, you know, it's almost like a new Vaughn has
been maybe reborn here.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (09:35):
exactly.
Speaker (09:35):
Um, what are some things that were maybe just aha
moments or things specificallyand just being the dad?
You, you've already mentionedthe health, but just like being
the dad that you've reallystrive to be for.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Well, I think the biggest thing that came outta
that, that period is when I gotout of the, the fitness
industry.
This is in August of 2016,right?
Mm-hmm.
And I had been in the fitnessindustry since 2001, 2002, 2003.
Um, and everything that wasbuilt over the course of those
years, you know, you're talkingabout almost 15 years there,
right?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Um.
I associated myself with fitnessand soccer.
Okay.
Soccer, because that was mysports background.
I came to Firm University, cameto Greenville, South Carolina to
play soccer.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (10:15):
right.
I majored in health andexercise.
Science at Firm University,which got me into the fitness
industry.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Got
Speaker 2 (10:19):
right.
So everybody knew Vaughn as thesoccer guy or the fitness guy.
Right.
And that's how I knew myself.
Okay.
Right.
But when I walked away from thefitness industry, that's gone.
I've had arthritis in both myankles since I was 17 years old.
I played for The Bahamasnational team.
I played up until 2008 is when Iretired because my daughter was
(10:42):
born.
I can't physically go out andplay soccer right now because of
my ankles.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So I'm not playing soccer.
I wasn't playing soccer at thetime.
Mm-hmm.
So here I am 2016, August,September, 2016, I don't have
the fitness industry anymore andI don't have soccer.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
So who am I?
Who was up?
Yeah.
Right.
So I was stuck like.
I didn't even know my ownidentity.
I didn't know who Vaughn was.
Yeah.
I didn't know what I was gonnado next.
Right.
Yeah.
Because everybody knew me as asoccer and fitness guy, I knew
myself as a soccer and fitnessguy.
Yeah.
So I had to figure out who Iwas.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Right.
Who I was as a person.
Before I can even, you know,start to grow or start to even
consider what was next.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and that was a journey,right?
It took me probably a good yearto two years to figure that out
and had to realize that Vaughnwas an individual and a child of
God and not defined by what hewas doing.
(11:32):
Right.
But what impact can I have andwill I have in my family and in
the world, in the communitybeyond what it is that I do?
Mm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
As far as the career or the tagthat I have associated with me,
business owner, real estateinvestor, or whatever it may be.
Right.
Um, and there's a couple thingsthat weren't gonna change and
never gonna change is being afather.
(11:54):
Yeah.
Right.
Son.
A brother.
Yep.
Right.
Um, and a husband.
Yeah.
How can I maximize those things?
Yeah.
Right.
So even now, a lot of what I do,and you mentioned earlier, like
I mentioned, you know, have acoaches.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And I have a couple coaches, multiple different
coaches now, but you know, themajority of in the first 15
years of my career.
Business coaches.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Coaches that are gonna help move me along in
business.
Mm-hmm.
Now my coaches are personal anddevelopmental coaches and
helping me make sure I'm thebest version, the best man, the
best father, the best husbandthat I can be.
Speaker (12:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So, um, that's been a huge shift.
Speaker (12:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
And making sure that I keep those things first.
Mm-hmm.
And that I'm not a real, like,yes, my title is real estate
investor, that just happens tobe the industry that I'm in.
Mm-hmm.
But that's not who I am.
Hmm.
Right.
Yeah.
As a person.
Speaker (12:48):
Yeah.
So give me some more of the, um,you know, where did you turn?
Like, you know, you've mentionedyour faith a couple times.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Yeah.
Speaker (12:55):
You know, um, your wife is there, your kids are there.
Mm-hmm.
You're at this like identitycrisis.
Um.
Did God just like, Hey, this iswho I am.
Like wake up.
Yeah.
Like a Paul sort of
Speaker 2 (13:08):
moment or it wasn't like that.
I've been very fortunate.
I was brought up in a strongChristian family.
Okay.
Um, you know, my parents, wewent to church every Sunday on
Wednesday, you know?
Yeah.
It was one of those thingswhere, you know, my, I remember
my parents battling'cause.
Being a soccer player.
Mm-hmm.
And playing high level soccerand competitive soccer.
A lot of stuff happens on theweekends.
Yes.
Specifically on Sundays.
Sundays, it was like, all right,well your games are starting to,
(13:31):
you know, yes.
Conflict with church, that's abig deal.
And so, you know, I remember itwas a big thing between my dad
and my mom.
It was like, alright, you gonnalet him play?
Or is you gonna have to sit outand have to go tell the coach
that he had came plan on Sundaysand stuff like that.
So I've been very fortunate andwas very blessed to be brought
up in a strong Christian family.
Um, and, you know, uh.
That's what was instilled in me.
(13:51):
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
And we talk about thatdevelopmental phase.
They say who we are and ourcharacteristics, our
personalities are defined by theage of 10 to 12.
Hmm.
Right.
And what is instilled in usthrough that time, whether it's
environmental or you know,what's been taught to us mm-hmm.
And things like that determineswho we are inherently, right.
(14:13):
By the age of 10 to 12.
So that, I was very blessed tohave that.
Influence in my life up untilthat age.
But also that's what determinesour characteristics and who we
are.
But we gotta continue to runwith that.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And having a strong, you know, uh, family background
and resource system being myparents.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, throughout the entire timenow going to college.
There's a lot of times, there'sa time where I back slid and
fell off the wagon for a whileof course, but fortunately
enough, because of that, thathistory in the background, I
very quickly come back.
Right?
(14:46):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, so I'm very, you know,strong in my faith and, you
know, people always like to callme the preacher or whatever, you
know, when I'm, I'm the one thatlike.
Alright.
We need somebody to bless thefood.
We need somebody to pray.
It is like, where's mine?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Um, but that's a, a hugefoundation of who I am.
Yeah.
Right.
And that you heard mentionedearlier, a child to God is first
and foremost.
(15:07):
Yeah.
Right.
And in that hierarchy of being ahusband and a parent
Speaker 5 (15:11):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
God always comes first.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So it's God, them family.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
And we gotta put God first ineverything that we do.
Mm-hmm.
And just learning to continue toput Him first really gives me a
clear, you know, a clearerRight.
And it's never, to me, I neverfeel like it's a hundred percent
clear just what you're tellingme to do, but gives me a clear,
uh, pathway of where or what Ishould do or what I feel God
(15:34):
mm-hmm.
You know, wants me to do.
Speaker (15:35):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So,
Speaker (15:37):
dude, that so encouraging to hear Von and, um,
I don't know.
I.
I think what, what, you know, Istarted this podcast, you know,
figuring out who, who am Ibringing on?
And, you know, we're talkingbusiness and fatherhood, but,
um, the faith element hasactually been something that's
been somewhat recently.
Aha for me is not making that a,like subpoint of mm-hmm.
(15:58):
The show.
Not that it's necessarily likethe number one point, but, um,
knowing sometimes I, I equateChristian faith as like, oh.
You are gonna be poor or youknow, just like, yeah.
You're not gonna be assuccessful as, you know,
successful.
I, that's the key is like, whatis success to finance?
Yeah.
That's,
Speaker 2 (16:15):
that's what it's when you think that way.
Yeah.
Speaker (16:17):
Um, but you know, just recently, you know, I went to a
funeral yesterday.
A friend of my wife passed awayand she was like 35 years old.
And you, you kind of see these,these messages of like.
What matters, you know, likemm-hmm.
You a lot of eternity, that kindof stuff.
And when you, you know, whenwe're in those grinding years,
uh, you know, you mentionedhaving the, the business coach
(16:39):
first, but then these othercoaches kinda came later.
I feel like that's very, um, nornormal and common.
Yeah.
So maybe if you could gimme someof the number one, like what
kind of coach you mentioned,like a few of the coaches, how
many coaches do you have?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Yeah.
Speaker (16:51):
And um, maybe some advice for.
You know me?
Yeah.
Or, um, other, or the peoplethat, that maybe have a business
coach but are looking at sort ofthe next level up from where you
experienced adding thosecoaches.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah.
So it didn't hit me till for,for a while.
Right.
Um, but having a coach has beena huge like.
Molding point of who I amthroughout my entire life.
Right.
Because I've always playedsports.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Coach.
So I've always had to coach.
Yeah.
Right.
That coach was my dad startingout.
(17:26):
Yeah.
To having other coaches and, andyou know, just, I look at over
time and over the years, I.
How much those coaches haveinfluenced me as a person.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Right.
And it's, it's crazy because mysoccer coach at Furman, the guy
that recruited me, brought mefrom Florida
Speaker (17:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
To Greenville, South Carolina, which I never even
heard of when I was in Florida.
Right.
17 years old.
16, 17-year-old when we firstmet.
Um, he's still a coach at firm.
Okay.
And we're really good friendsnow.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Like, and he was a coach.
He was my coach,
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
and I say really good friends.
It's not like, Hey, you know,coach Allison, it is good to see
you, da da da da.
Yeah.
Like my wife and him and hiswife, we went to Iceland
together a couple years ago forvacation.
Yeah.
Like just the two of us, likeYeah.
Two couples.
And that's how close of friendswe are.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Um, so you, when you look at how much of an impact
coaches can have on you as aperson, um, then you start
looking at it from that aspect.
And then you look at.
Business coaches.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So I didn't find business coaching.
Yeah.
I've had coaches throughout mywhole life, but I didn't even
realize business coaching was athing.
Mm-hmm.
Until 2008.
Okay.
Three years into my fitnessbusiness.
Okay.
Right.
And but what I found outbusiness coaching is, business
coaching is typically designedto, and how it should be, and
how I approached it is to byspeed.
(18:45):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So if I'm gonna hire a businesscoach, I'm gonna hire somebody
that's either where I want to beor been where through what I
want to go through, or I'm goingto go through, or, you know,
that's going to go through whatI've, you know, wanna go
through.
Yeah.
I've been through.
But somebody that can speed meup through the process.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Um, so somebody that's gonnahelp prevent me from making
(19:07):
mistakes or be able to provideme tools and resources that I
don't have to create on my ownmm-hmm.
To speed up the process.
Right.
If they have, you know, tools,resources, and systems and
processes that work.
Why reinvent the wheel
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Exactly
Speaker 2 (19:21):
right.
Get it from them.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Um, so I look at business coaching as somebody
that's gonna speed up theprocess of where you are now to
where you wanna be and they'vedone it.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And they have the systems,tools, resources, and the
coaching to get you there fastermm-hmm.
Than if you did it on your own.
Right.
But beyond that, and I've hadwithout, was in the fitness
business or the real estatebusiness or whatever it may be.
I've had coaches and multipledifferent coaches because some
(19:43):
coaches,
Speaker 5 (19:44):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I always say.
Another coach of mine told meyears ago, it's like sometimes
the people that got you to whereyou are.
Aren't necessarily the peoplethat are gonna get you to where
you wanna be.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So you can outgrow employees,you can outgrow coaches.
Mm-hmm.
And so you have to always findthat coach is that is gonna get
you and speed you up to get youto the next level.
Mm-hmm.
So having one coach and they getyou to one level, that might be
just the capacity that, that,that they have.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Right.
And it's nothing, it's notanything against them, but you
have to move on and go find thenext coach.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so.
From a business standpoint, I'vealways, you know, just moved on
to coaches that are gonna helpaccelerate business.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
But from a personal development standpoint, you
know, it's, it's the same thing.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Right?
So where you're at in life andwe're all go, go through
different seasons of life,right?
Mm-hmm.
And so if I went looking for acoach that is, hey, an expert in
a season of life that I'm not inor haven't never gone through
mm-hmm.
That coach is not gonna have animpact on me.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
And
Speaker 2 (20:40):
probably not gonna be able to provide me much.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So it's finding the coach that whatever season of
life that you're in, where youneed the most guidance.
Mm-hmm.
And support.
Um, so finding a coach or amentor, mentor, mentorship, or a
group of people.
Um, right now I'm part of abrotherhood, like, I don't like
to call it mastermind.
Everybody's call it amastermind, but as a group of
guys, and we call it abrotherhood, the Simplifiers
(21:04):
brotherhood that we're all.
High level entrepreneurs orbusiness owners and real estate
investing or other businesses,um.
But we're at a position rightnow where we've grown massive
businesses and realized thatthat's not where we want to be.
Like it takes away it's, thosethings start to take away from
where we, what we really findimportant in our lives today.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Which is more time freedom.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Right.
To and to spend time with ourfamilies.
Mm-hmm.
And then financial freedom tospend time with our families,
right?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
So we're at a point of simplifying our businesses
and simplifying our life.
To really focus on what'simportant.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
And if it doesn't move us closer to that
simplification process, or moveus closer to where we wanna be
and how we wanna live our life,then, you know, we need to make
a decision on is it stillapplicable in my business or
still what I wanna pursue orwhat I want to do.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
If that makes sense.
Yeah.
Um, I, I don't know if you everheard of the Mike Malowitz, the
Offer of Profit First?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
I didn't know clockwork.
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, what is it?
A toilet paper entrepreneur.
Okay.
Um, so I read Clockwork for the,I read profit first years and
years and years ago, 15 yearsago.
But I read Clockwork for thefirst time last year.
(22:18):
And one of the things thatreally stood out to me in that
book is, uh, redefining ourdefinition of scale.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Hmm,
Speaker 2 (22:24):
right?
And so as entrepreneurs,business owners, when we think
of scale, what do we think of?
Speaker 7 (22:30):
of?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You mentioned earlier, I went out and bought
10 houses.
That's what scale look like.
Yep.
Right.
More houses, more people.
Right.
More problems crew.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
A lot more problems.
He had a lot more problems.
Right.
So he, in that book, he talksabout how years and years ago he
redefined, uh, his definition ofscale to be more efficient.
More profitable.
Speaker 7 (22:52):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
And when he coaches a lot of entrepreneurs now and
they take on that definition ofscale, they end up scaling down.
Right.
So I look at my business nowthan where it was two or three
years ago.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Two or three years ago.
It was a point I had 29employees.
Okay,
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Okay.
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
now I'm at nine.
Wow.
Yep.
Okay.
But I'm a lot happier.
A lot less stress.
Yes.
More profitable.
Yes.
Right.
And more efficient.
Yes.
Because 29 people, when you're apeople lover
Speaker (23:23):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
That pressure that comes on to you of having to
make sure you're taking care ofeverybody.
Yes.
And everybody's happy.
Yes.
And everybody's fed.
Right.
It's a lot.
That's a huge weight.
Speaker (23:31):
Yeah.
So you don't wanna fall intothat trap of what you, you know,
came out of with the, thebusiness.
Other, other business.
Exactly.
Um, shoot man.
So like, I'm like so enrapturedand everything.
I'm like, oh, okay.
Um, you know, we're talking alot about the coaching and
mentorship.
I mean, that's kind of been a, atheme.
Um.
And you mentioned, I mean, youdid talk about scaling
(23:54):
definition of scale.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Yeah.
Speaker (23:55):
But maybe let's put that into the, if you don't
mind, like the fatherhood sideof life.
Mm-hmm.
Because I mean, you, you'vegiven a lot about the personal
business and not that like weneed to know everything you're
doing with your kids.
But like, I, there's just thistheme that I, I love exploring.
There's a book called TheIntentional Father.
I dunno if you read that book.
Uh, um, called, uh, John Tyson.
(24:17):
It's like an Australianpreacher.
Love the book, did some likekind of reviews of the chapters
on the show, but there was thislight bulb moment again of, for
me, it was the differencebetween an um, uh.
Uh, involved father versus anintentional father.
So I feel like I was theinvolved father, you know, at
the games.
Yeah.
You know, making breakfast.
(24:37):
Yeah.
You know, sitting there drawingwith them, but there wasn't
there.
The next level was likeintentional.
So like, there's a plan here,there's a, there's a goal,
there's a, you know, process tolike manhood that, um, was like,
oh, okay.
There's a whole nother.
This thing.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Yeah.
Speaker (24:53):
So, um, have you explored that?
Have you kind of gone into like,I don't know, like maybe like
fatherhood coaching?
Yeah.
But is there anything thatyou've said, this is something
that I, I committed to and we'redoing this that you can share?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So I.
I'm glad you asked that questionbecause that is something that
over the last probably six tonine months
Speaker 5 (25:11):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
That I've really become more cognizant of.
Okay.
Right.
So I never heard it put that wayas far as the involved father
versus the intentional father,but I like that.
Right.
Because I've been focused moreon being involved.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Be there for all the games andall the, you know, band recitals
and you know, all this stuff.
Right.
And I always wanna be there.
Right.
But there's a difference betweenjust being there.
And then being intentional.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Right.
And so working with this groupand my, my recent coach that
runs the, the SimplifiersBrotherhood, um, we, we've
started talking more about, andit's funny because with this
brotherhood or mastermind,right?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Um, everything I've been a part of before is all
focused on business.
Mm-hmm.
We very rarely talk aboutbusiness.
That's just kind of like sidebarconversations.
But when we get together, it's,it's more focused on, you know,
relationships.
Mm-hmm.
And personal development, heart,like, um, you know, taking care
of ourselves and, you know,making sure that we are in a
good place.
And then very rarely is that.
Going into the specifics ofrunning a business or mm-hmm.
(26:07):
You know, stuff like that.
Um, but one of the things that,you know, when I talked, when I
first started with my coach andhe asked me things that I wanted
to do and I said, I wannaimprove the relationships with
my kids.
Mm.
And my wife, one of the thingsthat we started doing is start,
started talking about being moreintentional.
Hmm.
Right.
What are things that we can putin place that are part of our
everyday life, or things that wewanna accomplish, we wanna do
(26:28):
that we can involve our kids.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So I remember like, one of thethings is like, all right,
fitness, getting in bettershape, getting healthier.
And like my daughter's all into,you know, eating right?
And, you know, she hasallergies.
She's, she's alert to dairy andeggs.
Okay.
So I have a son who's also otheroriginal to dairy.
Yeah.
So there's, when you,
Speaker 7 (26:45):
you throw milk
Speaker 2 (26:47):
they're like.
Dude, you wanna preach of thechoir?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a lot.
So he's big into that.
And then I was like, well I'm,you know, I'm trying to get my
sexy back.
Right.
You know, like
Speaker 7 (26:56):
so Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
you want the vote.
Exactly.
So one of the things, the ideaswe came up with was like meal
prepping.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
So for the last easily six,seven months, every Sunday, me
and my daughter, meal prep.
She goes, she's at the grocerystore or she's on the, on the,
at the grocery store.
When I was on the way here andshe's like, yeah, ask him do,
should I get two things ofchicken or da da?
(27:18):
And I was like, so she goes tothe grocery store, she shops and
every Sunday a afternoon throwthe, you know, he do Blackstone
up out their milk prep.
Yeah.
Love that.
So, uh.
That was something that's beingintentional.
Mm-hmm.
Not just, Hey, let's find thingsthat we're both interested in
and can do together.
But it's also spending timetogether.
Mm.
So every Sunday is like, sheknows like, all right, you ready
(27:42):
to, lemme know when you'reready.
Yeah.
Um, and the same thing as my, myson is, my son is 13 years old.
I'm boy, he's trying to, he'strying to get the puberty as
fast as he can.
Speaker 7 (27:50):
can.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
He's like trying to crank off off as long as I can
until we got his, I wanna holdoff, but Yeah.
In his body he's like, I'm 13,I'm seventh grade.
Yeah.
All these kids are hittingpuberty.
When am I gonna hit puberty?
Yeah.
So he's asking about working onand stuff like that.
Mm-hmm.
So it's like, okay, well I'mpart of that health journey as
well.
Like I have a full gym in mybasement.
Mm-hmm.
One of the benefits of, youknow, shutting down a fitness
facility.
(28:13):
So teaching him how to lift andwork out with him and stuff like
that.
So.
Speaker 7 (28:17):
So,
Speaker 2 (28:18):
You know, implementing those things.
Yeah.
And those are two things thatare just very, you know,
intentional.
Mm-hmm.
But, you know, killing two birdswith one stone.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Things that are interesting tothem or that they're all about
and things that I wannaaccomplish as well and that I'm
all about.
And then, you know, probablyabout three years ago, and, uh,
one of the other mastermindsthat I'm part of this seven
(28:38):
figure flipping Mastermind.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Um, we get into a lot about personal development and
relationships and things that'sthere as well.
Um, but it was like dating yourwife.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
And me and my wife werecelebrating 20 years this year.
Congrats man.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Um, but it's so easy to just getcaught up in the daily routines.
Mm-hmm.
Um, that if you're not datingyour wife.
(29:01):
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Then, you know, things getstarting to slip away.
Mm-hmm.
So is being intentional aboutthat.
So about three years ago,setting a standard weekly date
night.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah.
And just being intentional aboutthat.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Um, so that has significantly made changes in
improvements in our, in ourrelationship and our marriage.
Yeah.
Um.
So I love that of beingintentional.
I would say, you know, probablyfor me right now is like, it
probably used to be probably 90to 95%, um, involved.
Mm-hmm.
Rather intentional, gotta gowith the blow and it's shifted
(29:33):
and I would probably stay still,probably 70 to 30%.
Yeah.
But it's moving in, you know,more in the direction of
intentional.
Speaker (29:39):
Yeah.
With my
Speaker 2 (29:39):
relationships.
Speaker (29:40):
No, that's encouraging to hear.
And I know, I would think a lotof fathers out there.
I, I, I don't know.
When you start thinking that wayof like being intentional,
that's kind of one of the, thegoals of the show is, hey,
let's, let's put some effortinto this planning.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Yeah.
Speaker (29:54):
All the work you've done playing a business.
You know, I actually reallyfound it interesting that like
this maybe elite mastermindgroup, the brotherhood
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:02):
Isn't really even talking about business.
We're just talking about theother things.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yep.
Speaker (30:06):
And how that to me, sends that message of like, Hey.
Yeah.
Even if you are thismultimillionaire, successful
business guru.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:14):
What I really want to talk about is, and there's still
maybe a time for that indifferent places, but, um, it's,
it's encouraging here.
You, you have a select focusedgroup on the non-business, like
self uh, development andintentional fatherhood type of
side of things.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah.
And it's, it's crazy becausethat same group of men, they all
significantly help in business.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Because of the experience.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Right.
But the group is not focused onbusiness.
Mm-hmm.
It's not about business.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
It's about getting deeper thanthat.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And it all keeps going back to that comment, and
I'd probably say it's probably15, 16 years ago, one of my
first coaches told me, he islike, when you get better, I.
Everything gets better, right?
It's just depending on what isthat you, what, what part of you
are you focused on.
Mm-hmm.
So at that time it was, I was inthe fitness business, so it was
like taking care of yourselfphysically.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Right?
Because when you take care ofyourself physically, you're
sharper mentally, you got moreenergy, you know all these
things.
Right.
And that allows you to show upand be there and have more
energy to, um, and be morepresent with your family.
Right.
Or whoever it is that you wantedto spend time with, right.
But now it's like, okay, well Ican be fit, I can have a great
business.
But mentally, emotionally, andpsychologically, if I'm not
(31:26):
right or if I'm not right,peaking right.
Like, if I can get this right,
Speaker 3 (31:30):
right,
Speaker 2 (31:30):
then it's still gonna make everything else better,
right?
Yeah.
So when you get better,everything gets better.
Speaker (31:35):
Exactly.
I I love that quote, man.
Yeah.
Glad you said it again.
Um, I always like to throw thisout there.
Um, what's the best part aboutbeing a dad right now?
So maybe like a, a story orsomething that.
You know, I don't, for me,there's like my daughter, you
know, whispers, I love you atnight and she's three and
there's just kind of this like,like, doesn't matter what else
happened today.
Like there's like somethinghappened maybe that you can
(31:57):
share with us.
Yeah.
Could be recent, could be longago.
But that, that just best partabout being a dad.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's the best part about being a dad is like just
the emotional part of it, dude.
Mm-hmm.
And I think as men, it's like alot of men are, are reluctant
and scared to share theiremotions.
But as humans.
There's one major thing that wewant in this world is to be
loved.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And to have somebody that hasunconditional love to you,
(32:23):
right?
Speaker 5 (32:24):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And you, and it's funny'cause as you get older,
you're like, I, I look at my momand my dad and there's like, I,
I can't think of a more powerfullove I have for somebody than my
mom or dad.
Right?
Then when you're in teenageyears and stuff like that,
right?
You're like, ugh, you know, hatemom, hate dad.
Right?
Right.
Speaker 7 (32:40):
Um,
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Like, even with like my son right now, his age, and
it's like that 13, um, you know,prepubescent like, like trying
to get the puberty as fast aspossible, but you know, he still
looks up to me and like idolizesme, right?
Mm-hmm.
And one of the things that Imentioned in my, my brotherhood
is like, I wanna be the personthat my son thinks I am.
(33:05):
Right.
When you see that, how theyenvision you mm-hmm.
Yeah.
To be able to mm-hmm.
See that unconditional love,almost like a hero.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Um, to have that from kids, likeone of the things that me and my
kids have always done and, uh,intentionally did this from the
time that they were born, wasalways telling them I love him.
(33:26):
Right.
And a lot of that stemmed frommy dad didn't tell us he loved
us.
And like when we were growing upat all mm-hmm.
Very rarely hurt him.
Mm-hmm.
And it wasn't'cause he didn'tRight.
But that's just not how he wasraised.
Mm-hmm.
Like, he's the oldest of 10brothers and sisters.
Like, he was the heart.
But that was gonna, you know,my, my uncles used to tell me
like, Hey, like if we everneeded something taken care of,
(33:47):
like we would go get your dad.
Right.
Um, which I can't even envisionthat now because like I said.
Grew up in a strong Christianhome.
Never heard him cuss, never seenhim drink.
Right.
Like right.
All this stuff.
Right.
But that's how he was raised andthat's how he was brought up.
Um, so he was brought up in ahome where he was the person.
'cause the dad wouldn't have,you know, he's, he has eight
half brothers and sisters ortwo, um, full biological.
(34:10):
Mm-hmm.
Brother and sister.
Um, one of'em has passed now,but they had two different
daddies throughout their home.
But neither one of the daddies,same mother, neither one of the
daddies were ever present.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Speaker (34:21):
So it was the, so that was, that was what was modeled
to him.
Yeah.
So now he's got you, he's gottachange things.
Yeah.
Just that.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
And it wasn't until, um, I got out of the house Yeah.
And really in college and Yeah.
Lived my own life that I reallylike.
He was like, I love you, andlike.
Speaker 7 (34:38):
you know,
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Now it's the thing that we get on the phone and we
don't even get off the phonewithout telling each other they
love'em.
Right.
But that's just a progressionthat has happened over the
years.
So,
Speaker 5 (34:45):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Because of that lack of hearing, I love you growing
up and mm-hmm.
How it always stuck in my head.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it was a big deal forme.
Mm-hmm.
I've always made it in.
You know, intentionally aboutsaying, I love you to my kids.
Mm-hmm.
So like, every time we get offthe phone, every time we get
off, you know, they go somewherewe leave to go to, you know, he
gets, my son gets out the carwhen I drop him off at school or
whatever.
Yeah.
We leave each other.
(35:06):
It's like, I love you.
Yeah.
And so it's just become a thingin our house that, you know, I
wanted to be intentional aboutimplementing and never want my
kids to ever think that I'm, Idon't love them.
Mm-hmm.
And that I'm not proud of'em.
Right.
So, and that was another thingwith my dad is like, be proud
you, like, right, right.
Um, it time I can rememberdistinctively him telling me he
(35:28):
was proud of me was, um, I had amajor, like it was in college
and I had a, I can't rememberexactly what it was with like,
winning a, you know, player totournament or something like
that, or you know, something.
And I was like, um.
And at this point, yeah, I wasstill young.
Still young.
I was in the college years.
Right.
(35:48):
So I was stubborn.
Right.
But I was like, so you proud ofme?
And he goes, he goes, I'll beproud of you.
And this is just kind of how itcame out.
He's like, I'll be proud of youwhen you graduate.
Right.
And not that he wasn't proud ofme.
Right.
But he was just like, here's thething.
He is like, yeah, I, my biggestthing is I want you to graduate
college.
Yeah.
Right.
So finally I walked across thestage at graduation, got done,
went call my parents, and I waslike, uh.
(36:09):
I say, so are you finally proudof me?
And he goes, what are youtalking about?
He's like, I've always beenproud of you.
I'll always be proud of you.
And he goes, I said, well, hetold me such and such, he didn't
even remember.
Right.
It is one of those things.
Yeah.
You remembered it.
I remember though, of course,because I remember that like how
hard it hit me.
Yes.
So things like that, that withmy kids now, I'm like, I don't
ever want them to think I don'tlove him.
Mm-hmm.
Or I'm not proud of'em.
(36:30):
Mm-hmm.
So it's just one of those thingsthat I always say, anytime they
do something, I'm like, Hey, Ijust, I'm proud of you.
Speaker (36:35):
No, I,
Speaker 6 (36:35):
I,
Speaker (36:36):
I love the, um.
I don't wanna call itvulnerability, but the idea of
being relational, um mm-hmm.
It, it, and talking about ourfeelings, you know, there's just
a sense of, as men, we have tomodel, um, how to do that in our
household.
Mm-hmm.
So if we're bad at it, yeah.
Our kids are gonna be bad at it.
(36:57):
It's gonna keep going.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah.
Speaker (36:58):
And when you can, you know, say, hey,
Speaker 6 (37:01):
you
Speaker (37:02):
you know, in a, in a way, the picture of your dad not
saying he was proud of you atthat moment on the soccer, you
know Yeah.
Was up.
Big moment in your life?
I think, yeah.
It was just like, oh shoot.
Like I, I wanted this, you know,so dad, you proud of me, like
you even saying that.
Yeah.
Probably was a lot to put thatout there.
Yeah.
And well, that's
Speaker 2 (37:18):
one of the things that, especially as a young man
with your dad Yeah.
Is you wanna be, you want yourdad to be proud of you.
Speaker (37:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Like my son, I could see it like, and I could see it
now because of what I wentthrough and it was like, no.
And they're like.
Even my wife can see it strong.
He's like, she's
Speaker 5 (37:34):
he just looking.
He always
Speaker 2 (37:35):
wants you to be proud of him.
Yeah.
And so like just being able totell that to him, I can
completely change his mood orhow he reacts to something just
by telling him how proud ofammo.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And that very like particular recent thing that
happened is he got a badhaircut.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Right.
And it wasn't a bad haircut, butthe guy didn't do what he wanted
it to do.
Okay.
He had this moppy curly hair andhe wanted this whole mop look
and the guy cut off.
Too much more than he wanted inthe front.
Okay.
Right.
Uh, and I could see, like assoon as he cut it off in the
chair, his eyes just startedwatering.
And I'm looking at him, I'm justsaying, it's okay.
It's okay.
And then, yeah, after guy hit itand it was actually a, a good
(38:13):
looking haircut, but not what hewanted.
Okay.
So, and I could tell he wasjust, you could see devastated.
Right.
I could see it in his face.
I get in the car and he's aboutto break down and I said, Hey,
listen, I said, I just wannatell you something.
I said, uh, I know that's notthe haircut you wanted.
I'm super proud of how youhandled it.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
And you didn't break down in there in front of those
men.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
And I said, actually, the haircut looks really good.
Speaker 5 (38:38):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And I said, but I know that's not what you wanted.
Mm-hmm.
And I said, but I'm gonna letyou know that I'm proud of you
and how you handle yourself.
Mm-hmm.
I said,'cause things will comeat you in life that you don't
want and don't expect.
And it's all about how youhandle it.
Guess what?
He went home and he was like tohis mom and his sister and he
was like, Hey, you know, he islike, oh man.
(38:58):
He's like, that's not what Iwanted, but you know, like Yeah.
I was like, he is like, youdidn't even say that though.
He was like, and I told, I textmy wife, I said,'cause it's why
he's in a chair.
I was like, he is, be ready.
I was like, be ready.
I said, when you get home, justtell him how good his haircut
looks.
And guess what?
I love it.
He loves it.
Now he gets the same haircut,
Speaker 7 (39:18):
every times.
That's
Speaker 2 (39:19):
but it was just like, I could tell, like it was gonna
go one way or the other when wegot in the car.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
So just being able to tell himhow proud I was of him, the way
he handled everything, changedhis whole demeanor and outlook
on that entire.
Situation.
I love that story.
So Vaughn, but it was one ofthose things that I knew, like I
had to tell'em, like, it ain'tgonna always, you ain't gonna
always get what you want.
Right, right.
Exactly.
(39:39):
Can't always was that song can,that you can't always, always
get what you want.
You want.
Right.
I, I said, I said, things aregonna happen in your life that
you know you don't want tohappen or you wouldn't
expecting.
Or they go Right.
You know?
Yeah.
Not how you wanted it to go.
Right.
But it's how you react to it.
Exactly.
And so I think it was a lessonthat he, he learned that day
and.
I think he remembered it.
Speaker (39:59):
Yvonne, if you haven't been encouraged in recently as a
dad, that's a great story.
That's a great use of teaching ateaching a life lesson amidst
something that's just like ahaircut.
Just another haircut.
Oh, yeah.
But I would like to think he'sgonna remember that at least
that first haircut, I, he
Speaker 4 (40:15):
gives a haircut.
Speaker (40:16):
Yeah.
Well, um, v to kind of wrapthings up a little bit, I want
to be able to promote whatyou're doing with the, um.
The podcast you've mentioned.
Yeah.
Um, your own podcast that you'reputting out.
Yeah.
Um, give us a little teaser orgive our audience what you're
doing there, um, if they wannafollow that and, um, your
mission there.
Yeah.
And then also if our audiencejust wants to keep up with where
(40:36):
you're at and what you're doing,um, best way for them to track
you.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Yeah.
So the podcast is the Flip LifePodcast, um, and been doing it
for a little while now and justkind of sporadically.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but one of the things thatreally, you know.
Kind of sits in my heart is, youknow, being able to, because
through our company, through RIjunkies.
Right.
Um, and you mentioned earlier,like REI junkies, that's an
interesting name.
Uh, and when I created the, thename for that company, um, you
(41:03):
know, one of the things is, islike when you think of junkies
and how I was raised and howmost people think is like, it's
an addict, right?
Yeah.
Right.
Drug addict or whatever.
Right.
Alcoholic addiction, whatever.
Well, I was like, well, I'm at apoint where I'm addicted to real
estate.
Okay.
So REI, real estate investing.
Junkies.
Yep.
So our tagline is Addicted toreal estate.
Speaker 5 (41:20):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Um, but yeah, one of the things that for me, before I
got into real estate, and eventhough I had a successful
business before that.
It didn't provide me the timefreedom or the financial freedom
that real estate provides menow.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Right.
So the pun was intended, like inflipping.
Right?
I was able to get into realestate, start flipping paper,
flipping houses.
Mm-hmm.
You know, now we do primarilyowner financing and providing a
pathway to home ownership.
But through real estate, Iliterally was able to flip my
life mm-hmm.
Right?
From somebody that didn't have alot of extra cash or didn't
have, you know, a lot of extrapassive income or a lot of extra
(41:55):
time mm-hmm.
To somebody that, like, I work alot less than I did before and I
have more financial, you know,uh, resources.
Mm-hmm.
And more time with my family.
So I completely flipped my lifefrom where it was to where it is
now.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And so I wanna highlight other, uh, business
owners throughout the communitythat have been able to do the
same thing for themselves, butalso for their families and for
the community.
Mm-hmm.
So that's the whole purpose ofthe Flip Your Life podcast.
Speaker (42:19):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm looking forward to, to tuning into that.
Just encourage other people thatit, it's possible, right?
Mm-hmm.
Um,'cause a lot of people, Ithink we get so caught up in
where we are now
Speaker 5 (42:28):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
That we can't even see, uh, like where it could be.
Speaker 5 (42:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
And we're with the potential that we have.
Speaker 5 (42:34):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Um, and we can make a complete 180 degree turn if we
think we're in a bad place orwe're not happy with where we
are now.
Mm-hmm.
Literally can be like a complete180 degree turn and be somewhere
completely different a year fromnow.
Um, so just highlighting peoplethat have done that and, you
know, let them share theirstories and, you know, encourage
other
Speaker (42:52):
people.
I think it's, that's beautiful.
Beautifully said.
I think it starts with amindset, like you just said,
it's, it's a hundred percent,it's what you're thinking.
Hundred.
So if you're, if you're trappedin your mind Yep.
If you're trapped in just the,ah, I gotta pay these bills, or
I'm, I'm, I'm overwhelmed here,you're probably gonna stay
trapped.
Yeah.
If you're thinking, you knowwhat, there's a way outta this,
this guy knows, or this book hassome help here, or, yeah.
(43:13):
You know, you gotta change thatmindset.
Yeah.
Go for it.
So it's belief systems.
That's awesome, man.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Belief systems, like what's the, the saying and what
you can, what you believe youcan achieve.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Right.
It goes the opposite way too.
Right.
Exactly.
We all have limiting beliefs.
Mm-hmm.
We have, everybody has limitingbeliefs.
And those are belief systemsthat we have that limit our
potential.
Mm-hmm.
Because we don't believe that wecan do it.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Or we don't believe it'spossible.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
And when you get rid of those limiting beliefs, it's
amazing what you can actuallydo.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
The brand's a powerful thing.
Yeah.
Man.
It could be a huge driver,right?
Mm-hmm.
And it can drive you to do thethings necessary to get to where
you wanna be.
So.
Speaker (43:50):
Well, thanks so much for your time today on the
Blessed Fathers for all My Dadsout there.
Invest wisely.
I was in the fitness industry for 15 years.
Speaker (00:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Um, but when I opened up the, uh, the doors in my own
facility, um.
I had 23 clients when I openedthe doors to my own facility.
That's a good number.
Um, but in 2016, 11 years later,I decided to walk away from it
all and I built it from 23clients to over 350 clients and
a staff of 14.
(00:23):
When I walked away, but italmost drove me in the ground.
Speaker (00:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
It almost killed me.
Speaker (00:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
My kids were five and eight atthe time.
Yes.
So closer to the age of yourkids.
Yes, and I realized that I was,I had no, I was spending no time
with my kids or my wife.
Right.
Um.
'cause I was working, I was inthe gym every morning from 4:45
AM until about 8 30, 9 o'clockat night.
(00:49):
Yes.
Monday through Friday, SaturdaysI was doing half days, which,
you know, six in the morningtill three.
And then still by the time I gothome on Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Right.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And Sundays, I was so exhausted that I was just like,
I feel I just wanted to veg out.
Right.
Speaker (01:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So, um, mentally wasn't there.
Speaker (01:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
For my family.
Yeah.
Um.
And so it just, uh, got close tocausing me in my marriage.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, and I just wasn't given,wasn't able to give to my family
what they needed.
Right.
So something had to change.
Yeah.
Right.
Um, so I literally got to thepoint where like I couldn't take
anymore and I gave my staff and,uh, my clients 30 days.
(02:09):
I said that's about all I gotleft in me.
Speaker (02:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I helped, uh, my team find other jobs.
If they wanted other jobs.
I actually, mm-hmm.
Gave clients to my team members.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so made sure my clients hadthat option to go train
somewhere else.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, fortunately enough, I was atthe point where I built that,
that membership model, right?
Mm-hmm.
So I only had five clients atthe time that were on a pay in
full.
And all of their, uh, paid infull memberships were coming up
(02:35):
for renewal at the end of thatmonth.
Speaker (02:37):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (02:38):
So you
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Like,
Speaker 3 (02:39):
if any, anytime.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
It was a good time.
Yeah.
It was where it was like, Godland lined it up perfectly where
I could literally walk away.
Okay.
Um, and a lot of people ask me,why didn't I sell it?
Why didn't I do this?
Da da da dah.
And that's like, to go through asales process of a, a business
that size would take nine monthsto a year.
And then to find the rightbuyer.
Right.
And then another thing was, itwas, it was my identity at the
(03:00):
time.
Yeah.
I had built that from the groundup, so that company had, the
name was attached to me.
Yes.
And I still to this day, getpeople come to me and say, Hey,
how's, you know, how's Q?
How's the gym going?
I'm like, I'm not doing thatanymore.
Okay.
But the fact that being able tosell that to somebody, or even
give it to my team and then.
You know, if they were to runinto ground or mm-hmm.
Something bad would've happened,it'll still be associated with
(03:21):
my name.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So I just couldn't do that.
You, so,
Speaker 7 (03:23):
So,
Speaker 2 (03:24):
um, but yeah, that was a decision that, you know, I
had to get away from that andthen within two years is where I
found real estate.
Speaker (03:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
So, uh, I think is one of the best decisions I ever
made.
Yes.
Um, but getting into the realestate game, uh, there's a
couple things that I learnedfrom, uh, the fitness business.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and just business in generalthat I knew I wanted to start
this company, a company Icurrently own, uh, a lot
differently.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And the biggest thing on thatwas put my family first.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Right?
Yes.
And so myself first, and then myfamily, because believe it or
not, people are like, oh, youown the gym.
You should be in.
Top shape.
Right.
I was in the worst shape I'veever been in.
Right.
I in the gym because the stressand I always took care of
everybody else first.
Right, right, right.
And left myself last.
And then last thing I wanted todo at the end of the day was
spend another hour in the gymworking out.
Right, right, right, right.
Um, so, uh, I started thiscompany.
(04:15):
I was like, family comes firstand I won't let business get in,
play in the, in the way offamily.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, the biggest thing onthat is like, I'm not willing to
do anything after hours.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so mm-hmm.
Yeah.
A lot of times people are like,I don't ever see you at the
meetups.
I'm like,'cause most of'em areat in the evening.
Yes.
That's family time.
Yes.
Or on the weekend.
(04:35):
I don't do things on theweekend.
Um, so that's designated for myfamily.
So, um, putting those thingsfirst and then financially
making sure that my family'staken care of first.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
So implementing the Profit firstmodel
Speaker 5 (04:46):
mm-hmm.
In
Speaker 2 (04:46):
business.
Okay.
Um, so always making sure that.
We're profitable making thatprofit, the money is coming to
me first.
Mm-hmm.
Or me as in my family.
Mm-hmm.
And it's my per personal bankaccount.
Mm-hmm.
Um, to take care of my familybecause if things are good at
home, things would be good atwork, right?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but those are two thingsthat I really wanted to
implement.
(05:06):
In this company to make surethat family came first.
Yes.
And my kids are at five andeight at the time, like I
mentioned.
Yeah.
That's prime developmental time.
Yes.
That I needed to be involved andI wasn't.
Mm-hmm.
So, um, now, you know, thosekids are 16 and 13 now.
Yes.
But I spend more time with themand I've spent more time with
(05:28):
them over the last six, sevenyears.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, than I ever did in the firstfive to eight years of their
life.
So that's been a significantchange.
Speaker (05:36):
Yvonne, you've got me salivating here and I'm open
sponge to everything you're,you're, you're going towards.
So, um, thank you for sharingthat, that beginning.
I got a lot to unpack in justwhat you said.
Um.
If you don't mind, let me startwith sort of earlier Vaughn, um,
maybe even the household, but Ijust feel like, you know, you
mentioned taking care ofeveryone else first.
(05:56):
Yep.
I feel like I'm that way aswell.
There's a sense of like, iseveryone comfortable?
Is everyone, you know?
Okay.
It's men in general.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're just, you're,you're looking around and, um, I
think that's a great quality.
That's a strong quality can alsobe a detriment sometimes if
Absolutely.
You, you're putting yourselflike, at, like you said, like
you weren't working out, but youwere making everyone else taken
(06:18):
care of.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker (06:19):
So maybe gimme some, you know, is that just how
you've always been, was thatmodel to
Speaker 2 (06:22):
you?
So looking at personality testsand, and behavioral tests and
things such as that.
Uh, I love people.
And one of the things that weuse in our company is the
culture index.
Okay.
And you might've heard likepredictive index and things such
as that, as different, uh, youknow, like character tests that
people can do.
Mm-hmm.
And in the culture index, I'm awhat's called a four people
person.
(06:43):
Right.
Okay.
So everything you, for me is, isbuilt towards people.
I like to win with people.
I'm not like gonna run everybodyover to get my stuff, you know?
I wanna win with people, right?
Mm-hmm.
I wanna bring people with me.
I'm a social person.
I like to be around people.
Um, yeah, I'm very patient,
Speaker 5 (06:58):
um,
Speaker 2 (06:58):
which you have to be a people person to, to be
patient.
Um, and my detail is extremelylow, which is crazy because, uh,
you know, I like, because I liketo focus on people.
No, I'm the, I'm the same way,right?
So I'm, I'm, uh, I'm driven bypeople.
Because of that, you know, I'mjust wired to try to take care
of everybody else and make sureeverybody else is taken care of
(07:19):
before myself.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Um, but one of the things I've learned over the
last, especially the last 10years is that, and my coach told
me this, it is probably 15 yearsago, and it's really over the
last five years has reallybecome strong to where it, it
just stays in my mind.
He goes, when, when you getbetter, everything gets better.
And what I mean by that is youneed to take care of yourself
first.
And when people say that,they're like, think you're gonna
(07:41):
be selfish, but it's not beingselfish.
Right?
'cause think about the analogyof the plane.
When the oxygen mask drop, whatdo they tell you to do?
Put Put it on first.
Put your mask on first.
First?
Yeah.
Why do they tell you to do that?
Because if you pass out who'sgonna take care of the people
that are relying on you.
Right.
Exactly.
So the same thing comes as to usas fathers and as men.
(08:02):
if we're married and we havekids, like we have to be at,
prime.
And peak performance as much aswe possibly can.
'cause when we're at peakperformance and high energy
levels and we're thinkingclearly, then we can give back
to our family.
The most.
But in order to do that, wegotta take care of ourselves.
Right?
And take care of ourselvesphysically.
(08:22):
You know, working out, stayinghealthy, having energy, getting
good amounts of sleep, thingssuch as that, right?
but also spiritually,emotionally, you know, when
we're taking care of ourselvesthat way as well.
I.
We can then pour into ourfamily, pour into our kids, and
help them develop mm-hmm.
With your kids, you know, theage that they are now, say three
and eight
Speaker 5 (08:40):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Or prime developmental ages.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So you being available and beingable to pour into them
spiritually, mentally,emotionally, but also physically
through your energy levels andbeing there for'em is gonna help
them throughout thatdevelopmental process.
Speaker (08:56):
Okay.
I, I feel like what I am most.
Personally most interesting inthe, the time, the values you've
instilled in the kid, likeyou're talking about, um, the
developmental stage, you saiddid a couple times now.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker (09:07):
So I'm like, I'm in that time, like I'm,
Speaker 3 (09:09):
yeah.
Speaker (09:09):
I don't wanna mess up, you know, like I wanna learn
things.
Right.
Um, and you mentioned a coach aswell.
Mm-hmm.
Um, what are some things, Idon't wanna say like the number
one thing, but what are somemaybe a, a a few things that
you've learned since, you know,this, the, the turning point of
your life.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah.
Speaker (09:25):
The, the breaking point.
Yep.
Um, where the, you shut down thegym.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yep.
Speaker (09:30):
To now, you know, it's almost like a new Vaughn has
been maybe reborn here.
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (09:35):
exactly.
Speaker (09:35):
Um, what are some things that were maybe just aha
moments or things specificallyand just being the dad?
You, you've already mentionedthe health, but just like being
the dad that you've reallystrive to be for.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Well, I think the biggest thing that came outta
that, that period is when I gotout of the, the fitness
industry.
This is in August of 2016,right?
Mm-hmm.
And I had been in the fitnessindustry since 2001, 2002, 2003.
Um, and everything that wasbuilt over the course of those
years, you know, you're talkingabout almost 15 years there,
right?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Um.
I associated myself with fitnessand soccer.
Okay.
Soccer, because that was mysports background.
I came to Firm University, cameto Greenville, South Carolina to
play soccer.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (10:15):
right.
I majored in health andexercise.
Science at Firm University,which got me into the fitness
industry.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Got
Speaker 2 (10:19):
right.
So everybody knew Vaughn as thesoccer guy or the fitness guy.
Right.
And that's how I knew myself.
Okay.
Right.
But when I walked away from thefitness industry, that's gone.
I've had arthritis in both myankles since I was 17 years old.
I played for The Bahamasnational team.
I played up until 2008 is when Iretired because my daughter was
(10:42):
born.
I can't physically go out andplay soccer right now because of
my ankles.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So I'm not playing soccer.
I wasn't playing soccer at thetime.
Mm-hmm.
So here I am 2016, August,September, 2016, I don't have
the fitness industry anymore andI don't have soccer.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
So who am I?
Who was up?
Yeah.
Right.
So I was stuck like.
I didn't even know my ownidentity.
I didn't know who Vaughn was.
Yeah.
I didn't know what I was gonnado next.
Right.
Yeah.
Because everybody knew me as asoccer and fitness guy, I knew
myself as a soccer and fitnessguy.
Yeah.
So I had to figure out who Iwas.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Right.
Who I was as a person.
Before I can even, you know,start to grow or start to even
consider what was next.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and that was a journey,right?
It took me probably a good yearto two years to figure that out
and had to realize that Vaughnwas an individual and a child of
God and not defined by what hewas doing.
(11:32):
Right.
But what impact can I have andwill I have in my family and in
the world, in the communitybeyond what it is that I do?
Mm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
As far as the career or the tagthat I have associated with me,
business owner, real estateinvestor, or whatever it may be.
Right.
Um, and there's a couple thingsthat weren't gonna change and
never gonna change is being afather.
(11:54):
Yeah.
Right.
Son.
A brother.
Yep.
Right.
Um, and a husband.
Yeah.
How can I maximize those things?
Yeah.
Right.
So even now, a lot of what I do,and you mentioned earlier, like
I mentioned, you know, have acoaches.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And I have a couple coaches, multiple different
coaches now, but you know, themajority of in the first 15
years of my career.
Business coaches.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Coaches that are gonna help move me along in
business.
Mm-hmm.
Now my coaches are personal anddevelopmental coaches and
helping me make sure I'm thebest version, the best man, the
best father, the best husbandthat I can be.
Speaker (12:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So, um, that's been a huge shift.
Speaker (12:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
And making sure that I keep those things first.
Mm-hmm.
And that I'm not a real, like,yes, my title is real estate
investor, that just happens tobe the industry that I'm in.
Mm-hmm.
But that's not who I am.
Hmm.
Right.
Yeah.
As a person.
Speaker (12:48):
Yeah.
So give me some more of the, um,you know, where did you turn?
Like, you know, you've mentionedyour faith a couple times.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Yeah.
Speaker (12:55):
You know, um, your wife is there, your kids are there.
Mm-hmm.
You're at this like identitycrisis.
Um.
Did God just like, Hey, this iswho I am.
Like wake up.
Yeah.
Like a Paul sort of
Speaker 2 (13:08):
moment or it wasn't like that.
I've been very fortunate.
I was brought up in a strongChristian family.
Okay.
Um, you know, my parents, wewent to church every Sunday on
Wednesday, you know?
Yeah.
It was one of those thingswhere, you know, my, I remember
my parents battling'cause.
Being a soccer player.
Mm-hmm.
And playing high level soccerand competitive soccer.
A lot of stuff happens on theweekends.
Yes.
Specifically on Sundays.
Sundays, it was like, all right,well your games are starting to,
(13:31):
you know, yes.
Conflict with church, that's abig deal.
And so, you know, I remember itwas a big thing between my dad
and my mom.
It was like, alright, you gonnalet him play?
Or is you gonna have to sit outand have to go tell the coach
that he had came plan on Sundaysand stuff like that.
So I've been very fortunate andwas very blessed to be brought
up in a strong Christian family.
Um, and, you know, uh.
That's what was instilled in me.
(13:51):
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
And we talk about thatdevelopmental phase.
They say who we are and ourcharacteristics, our
personalities are defined by theage of 10 to 12.
Hmm.
Right.
And what is instilled in usthrough that time, whether it's
environmental or you know,what's been taught to us mm-hmm.
And things like that determineswho we are inherently, right.
(14:13):
By the age of 10 to 12.
So that, I was very blessed tohave that.
Influence in my life up untilthat age.
But also that's what determinesour characteristics and who we
are.
But we gotta continue to runwith that.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And having a strong, you know, uh, family background
and resource system being myparents.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, throughout the entire timenow going to college.
There's a lot of times, there'sa time where I back slid and
fell off the wagon for a whileof course, but fortunately
enough, because of that, thathistory in the background, I
very quickly come back.
Right?
(14:46):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, so I'm very, you know,strong in my faith and, you
know, people always like to callme the preacher or whatever, you
know, when I'm, I'm the one thatlike.
Alright.
We need somebody to bless thefood.
We need somebody to pray.
It is like, where's mine?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Um, but that's a, a hugefoundation of who I am.
Yeah.
Right.
And that you heard mentionedearlier, a child to God is first
and foremost.
(15:07):
Yeah.
Right.
And in that hierarchy of being ahusband and a parent
Speaker 5 (15:11):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
God always comes first.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So it's God, them family.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
And we gotta put God first ineverything that we do.
Mm-hmm.
And just learning to continue toput Him first really gives me a
clear, you know, a clearerRight.
And it's never, to me, I neverfeel like it's a hundred percent
clear just what you're tellingme to do, but gives me a clear,
uh, pathway of where or what Ishould do or what I feel God
(15:34):
mm-hmm.
You know, wants me to do.
Speaker (15:35):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So,
Speaker (15:37):
dude, that so encouraging to hear Von and, um,
I don't know.
I.
I think what, what, you know, Istarted this podcast, you know,
figuring out who, who am Ibringing on?
And, you know, we're talkingbusiness and fatherhood, but,
um, the faith element hasactually been something that's
been somewhat recently.
Aha for me is not making that a,like subpoint of mm-hmm.
(15:58):
The show.
Not that it's necessarily likethe number one point, but, um,
knowing sometimes I, I equateChristian faith as like, oh.
You are gonna be poor or youknow, just like, yeah.
You're not gonna be assuccessful as, you know,
successful.
I, that's the key is like, whatis success to finance?
Yeah.
That's,
Speaker 2 (16:15):
that's what it's when you think that way.
Yeah.
Speaker (16:17):
Um, but you know, just recently, you know, I went to a
funeral yesterday.
A friend of my wife passed awayand she was like 35 years old.
And you, you kind of see these,these messages of like.
What matters, you know, likemm-hmm.
You a lot of eternity, that kindof stuff.
And when you, you know, whenwe're in those grinding years,
uh, you know, you mentionedhaving the, the business coach
(16:39):
first, but then these othercoaches kinda came later.
I feel like that's very, um, nornormal and common.
Yeah.
So maybe if you could gimme someof the number one, like what
kind of coach you mentioned,like a few of the coaches, how
many coaches do you have?
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Yeah.
Speaker (16:51):
And um, maybe some advice for.
You know me?
Yeah.
Or, um, other, or the peoplethat, that maybe have a business
coach but are looking at sort ofthe next level up from where you
experienced adding thosecoaches.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah.
So it didn't hit me till for,for a while.
Right.
Um, but having a coach has beena huge like.
Molding point of who I amthroughout my entire life.
Right.
Because I've always playedsports.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Coach.
So I've always had to coach.
Yeah.
Right.
That coach was my dad startingout.
(17:26):
Yeah.
To having other coaches and, andyou know, just, I look at over
time and over the years, I.
How much those coaches haveinfluenced me as a person.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Right.
And it's, it's crazy because mysoccer coach at Furman, the guy
that recruited me, brought mefrom Florida
Speaker (17:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
To Greenville, South Carolina, which I never even
heard of when I was in Florida.
Right.
17 years old.
16, 17-year-old when we firstmet.
Um, he's still a coach at firm.
Okay.
And we're really good friendsnow.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Like, and he was a coach.
He was my coach,
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
and I say really good friends.
It's not like, Hey, you know,coach Allison, it is good to see
you, da da da da.
Yeah.
Like my wife and him and hiswife, we went to Iceland
together a couple years ago forvacation.
Yeah.
Like just the two of us, likeYeah.
Two couples.
And that's how close of friendswe are.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Um, so you, when you look at how much of an impact
coaches can have on you as aperson, um, then you start
looking at it from that aspect.
And then you look at.
Business coaches.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So I didn't find business coaching.
Yeah.
I've had coaches throughout mywhole life, but I didn't even
realize business coaching was athing.
Mm-hmm.
Until 2008.
Okay.
Three years into my fitnessbusiness.
Okay.
Right.
And but what I found outbusiness coaching is, business
coaching is typically designedto, and how it should be, and
how I approached it is to byspeed.
(18:45):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So if I'm gonna hire a businesscoach, I'm gonna hire somebody
that's either where I want to beor been where through what I
want to go through, or I'm goingto go through, or, you know,
that's going to go through whatI've, you know, wanna go
through.
Yeah.
I've been through.
But somebody that can speed meup through the process.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Um, so somebody that's gonnahelp prevent me from making
(19:07):
mistakes or be able to provideme tools and resources that I
don't have to create on my ownmm-hmm.
To speed up the process.
Right.
If they have, you know, tools,resources, and systems and
processes that work.
Why reinvent the wheel
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Exactly
Speaker 2 (19:21):
right.
Get it from them.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Um, so I look at business coaching as somebody
that's gonna speed up theprocess of where you are now to
where you wanna be and they'vedone it.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And they have the systems,tools, resources, and the
coaching to get you there fastermm-hmm.
Than if you did it on your own.
Right.
But beyond that, and I've hadwithout, was in the fitness
business or the real estatebusiness or whatever it may be.
I've had coaches and multipledifferent coaches because some
(19:43):
coaches,
Speaker 5 (19:44):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I always say.
Another coach of mine told meyears ago, it's like sometimes
the people that got you to whereyou are.
Aren't necessarily the peoplethat are gonna get you to where
you wanna be.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
So you can outgrow employees,you can outgrow coaches.
Mm-hmm.
And so you have to always findthat coach is that is gonna get
you and speed you up to get youto the next level.
Mm-hmm.
So having one coach and they getyou to one level, that might be
just the capacity that, that,that they have.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Right.
And it's nothing, it's notanything against them, but you
have to move on and go find thenext coach.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so.
From a business standpoint, I'vealways, you know, just moved on
to coaches that are gonna helpaccelerate business.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
But from a personal development standpoint, you
know, it's, it's the same thing.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Right?
So where you're at in life andwe're all go, go through
different seasons of life,right?
Mm-hmm.
And so if I went looking for acoach that is, hey, an expert in
a season of life that I'm not inor haven't never gone through
mm-hmm.
That coach is not gonna have animpact on me.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
And
Speaker 2 (20:40):
probably not gonna be able to provide me much.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
So it's finding the coach that whatever season of
life that you're in, where youneed the most guidance.
Mm-hmm.
And support.
Um, so finding a coach or amentor, mentor, mentorship, or a
group of people.
Um, right now I'm part of abrotherhood, like, I don't like
to call it mastermind.
Everybody's call it amastermind, but as a group of
guys, and we call it abrotherhood, the Simplifiers
(21:04):
brotherhood that we're all.
High level entrepreneurs orbusiness owners and real estate
investing or other businesses,um.
But we're at a position rightnow where we've grown massive
businesses and realized thatthat's not where we want to be.
Like it takes away it's, thosethings start to take away from
where we, what we really findimportant in our lives today.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Which is more time freedom.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Right.
To and to spend time with ourfamilies.
Mm-hmm.
And then financial freedom tospend time with our families,
right?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
So we're at a point of simplifying our businesses
and simplifying our life.
To really focus on what'simportant.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
And if it doesn't move us closer to that
simplification process, or moveus closer to where we wanna be
and how we wanna live our life,then, you know, we need to make
a decision on is it stillapplicable in my business or
still what I wanna pursue orwhat I want to do.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
If that makes sense.
Yeah.
Um, I, I don't know if you everheard of the Mike Malowitz, the
Offer of Profit First?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
I didn't know clockwork.
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, what is it?
A toilet paper entrepreneur.
Okay.
Um, so I read Clockwork for the,I read profit first years and
years and years ago, 15 yearsago.
But I read Clockwork for thefirst time last year.
(22:18):
And one of the things thatreally stood out to me in that
book is, uh, redefining ourdefinition of scale.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Hmm,
Speaker 2 (22:24):
right?
And so as entrepreneurs,business owners, when we think
of scale, what do we think of?
Speaker 7 (22:30):
of?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You mentioned earlier, I went out and bought
10 houses.
That's what scale look like.
Yep.
Right.
More houses, more people.
Right.
More problems crew.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
A lot more problems.
He had a lot more problems.
Right.
So he, in that book, he talksabout how years and years ago he
redefined, uh, his definition ofscale to be more efficient.
More profitable.
Speaker 7 (22:52):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
And when he coaches a lot of entrepreneurs now and
they take on that definition ofscale, they end up scaling down.
Right.
So I look at my business nowthan where it was two or three
years ago.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Two or three years ago.
It was a point I had 29employees.
Okay,
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Okay.
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
now I'm at nine.
Wow.
Yep.
Okay.
But I'm a lot happier.
A lot less stress.
Yes.
More profitable.
Yes.
Right.
And more efficient.
Yes.
Because 29 people, when you're apeople lover
Speaker (23:23):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
That pressure that comes on to you of having to
make sure you're taking care ofeverybody.
Yes.
And everybody's happy.
Yes.
And everybody's fed.
Right.
It's a lot.
That's a huge weight.
Speaker (23:31):
Yeah.
So you don't wanna fall intothat trap of what you, you know,
came out of with the, thebusiness.
Other, other business.
Exactly.
Um, shoot man.
So like, I'm like so enrapturedand everything.
I'm like, oh, okay.
Um, you know, we're talking alot about the coaching and
mentorship.
I mean, that's kind of been a, atheme.
Um.
And you mentioned, I mean, youdid talk about scaling
(23:54):
definition of scale.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Yeah.
Speaker (23:55):
But maybe let's put that into the, if you don't
mind, like the fatherhood sideof life.
Mm-hmm.
Because I mean, you, you'vegiven a lot about the personal
business and not that like weneed to know everything you're
doing with your kids.
But like, I, there's just thistheme that I, I love exploring.
There's a book called TheIntentional Father.
I dunno if you read that book.
Uh, um, called, uh, John Tyson.
(24:17):
It's like an Australianpreacher.
Love the book, did some likekind of reviews of the chapters
on the show, but there was thislight bulb moment again of, for
me, it was the differencebetween an um, uh.
Uh, involved father versus anintentional father.
So I feel like I was theinvolved father, you know, at
the games.
Yeah.
You know, making breakfast.
(24:37):
Yeah.
You know, sitting there drawingwith them, but there wasn't
there.
The next level was likeintentional.
So like, there's a plan here,there's a, there's a goal,
there's a, you know, process tolike manhood that, um, was like,
oh, okay.
There's a whole nother.
This thing.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Yeah.
Speaker (24:53):
So, um, have you explored that?
Have you kind of gone into like,I don't know, like maybe like
fatherhood coaching?
Yeah.
But is there anything thatyou've said, this is something
that I, I committed to and we'redoing this that you can share?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So I.
I'm glad you asked that questionbecause that is something that
over the last probably six tonine months
Speaker 5 (25:11):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
That I've really become more cognizant of.
Okay.
Right.
So I never heard it put that wayas far as the involved father
versus the intentional father,but I like that.
Right.
Because I've been focused moreon being involved.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Be there for all the games andall the, you know, band recitals
and you know, all this stuff.
Right.
And I always wanna be there.
Right.
But there's a difference betweenjust being there.
And then being intentional.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Right.
And so working with this groupand my, my recent coach that
runs the, the SimplifiersBrotherhood, um, we, we've
started talking more about, andit's funny because with this
brotherhood or mastermind,right?
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Um, everything I've been a part of before is all
focused on business.
Mm-hmm.
We very rarely talk aboutbusiness.
That's just kind of like sidebarconversations.
But when we get together, it's,it's more focused on, you know,
relationships.
Mm-hmm.
And personal development, heart,like, um, you know, taking care
of ourselves and, you know,making sure that we are in a
good place.
And then very rarely is that.
Going into the specifics ofrunning a business or mm-hmm.
(26:07):
You know, stuff like that.
Um, but one of the things that,you know, when I talked, when I
first started with my coach andhe asked me things that I wanted
to do and I said, I wannaimprove the relationships with
my kids.
Mm.
And my wife, one of the thingsthat we started doing is start,
started talking about being moreintentional.
Hmm.
Right.
What are things that we can putin place that are part of our
everyday life, or things that wewanna accomplish, we wanna do
(26:28):
that we can involve our kids.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So I remember like, one of thethings is like, all right,
fitness, getting in bettershape, getting healthier.
And like my daughter's all into,you know, eating right?
And, you know, she hasallergies.
She's, she's alert to dairy andeggs.
Okay.
So I have a son who's also otheroriginal to dairy.
Yeah.
So there's, when you,
Speaker 7 (26:45):
you throw milk
Speaker 2 (26:47):
they're like.
Dude, you wanna preach of thechoir?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a lot.
So he's big into that.
And then I was like, well I'm,you know, I'm trying to get my
sexy back.
Right.
You know, like
Speaker 7 (26:56):
so Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
you want the vote.
Exactly.
So one of the things, the ideaswe came up with was like meal
prepping.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
So for the last easily six,seven months, every Sunday, me
and my daughter, meal prep.
She goes, she's at the grocerystore or she's on the, on the,
at the grocery store.
When I was on the way here andshe's like, yeah, ask him do,
should I get two things ofchicken or da da?
(27:18):
And I was like, so she goes tothe grocery store, she shops and
every Sunday a afternoon throwthe, you know, he do Blackstone
up out their milk prep.
Yeah.
Love that.
So, uh.
That was something that's beingintentional.
Mm-hmm.
Not just, Hey, let's find thingsthat we're both interested in
and can do together.
But it's also spending timetogether.
Mm.
So every Sunday is like, sheknows like, all right, you ready
(27:42):
to, lemme know when you'reready.
Yeah.
Um, and the same thing as my, myson is, my son is 13 years old.
I'm boy, he's trying to, he'strying to get the puberty as
fast as he can.
Speaker 7 (27:50):
can.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
He's like trying to crank off off as long as I can
until we got his, I wanna holdoff, but Yeah.
In his body he's like, I'm 13,I'm seventh grade.
Yeah.
All these kids are hittingpuberty.
When am I gonna hit puberty?
Yeah.
So he's asking about working onand stuff like that.
Mm-hmm.
So it's like, okay, well I'mpart of that health journey as
well.
Like I have a full gym in mybasement.
Mm-hmm.
One of the benefits of, youknow, shutting down a fitness
facility.
(28:13):
So teaching him how to lift andwork out with him and stuff like
that.
So.
Speaker 7 (28:17):
So,
Speaker 2 (28:18):
You know, implementing those things.
Yeah.
And those are two things thatare just very, you know,
intentional.
Mm-hmm.
But, you know, killing two birdswith one stone.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Things that are interesting tothem or that they're all about
and things that I wannaaccomplish as well and that I'm
all about.
And then, you know, probablyabout three years ago, and, uh,
one of the other mastermindsthat I'm part of this seven
(28:38):
figure flipping Mastermind.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Um, we get into a lot about personal development and
relationships and things that'sthere as well.
Um, but it was like dating yourwife.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
And me and my wife werecelebrating 20 years this year.
Congrats man.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Um, but it's so easy to just getcaught up in the daily routines.
Mm-hmm.
Um, that if you're not datingyour wife.
(29:01):
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Then, you know, things getstarting to slip away.
Mm-hmm.
So is being intentional aboutthat.
So about three years ago,setting a standard weekly date
night.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah.
And just being intentional aboutthat.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Um, so that has significantly made changes in
improvements in our, in ourrelationship and our marriage.
Yeah.
Um.
So I love that of beingintentional.
I would say, you know, probablyfor me right now is like, it
probably used to be probably 90to 95%, um, involved.
Mm-hmm.
Rather intentional, gotta gowith the blow and it's shifted
(29:33):
and I would probably stay still,probably 70 to 30%.
Yeah.
But it's moving in, you know,more in the direction of
intentional.
Speaker (29:39):
Yeah.
With my
Speaker 2 (29:39):
relationships.
Speaker (29:40):
No, that's encouraging to hear.
And I know, I would think a lotof fathers out there.
I, I, I don't know.
When you start thinking that wayof like being intentional,
that's kind of one of the, thegoals of the show is, hey,
let's, let's put some effortinto this planning.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Yeah.
Speaker (29:54):
All the work you've done playing a business.
You know, I actually reallyfound it interesting that like
this maybe elite mastermindgroup, the brotherhood
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:02):
Isn't really even talking about business.
We're just talking about theother things.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yep.
Speaker (30:06):
And how that to me, sends that message of like, Hey.
Yeah.
Even if you are thismultimillionaire, successful
business guru.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:14):
What I really want to talk about is, and there's still
maybe a time for that indifferent places, but, um, it's,
it's encouraging here.
You, you have a select focusedgroup on the non-business, like
self uh, development andintentional fatherhood type of
side of things.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah.
And it's, it's crazy becausethat same group of men, they all
significantly help in business.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Because of the experience.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Right.
But the group is not focused onbusiness.
Mm-hmm.
It's not about business.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
It's about getting deeper thanthat.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And it all keeps going back to that comment, and
I'd probably say it's probably15, 16 years ago, one of my
first coaches told me, he islike, when you get better, I.
Everything gets better, right?
It's just depending on what isthat you, what, what part of you
are you focused on.
Mm-hmm.
So at that time it was, I was inthe fitness business, so it was
like taking care of yourselfphysically.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Right?
Because when you take care ofyourself physically, you're
sharper mentally, you got moreenergy, you know all these
things.
Right.
And that allows you to show upand be there and have more
energy to, um, and be morepresent with your family.
Right.
Or whoever it is that you wantedto spend time with, right.
But now it's like, okay, well Ican be fit, I can have a great
business.
But mentally, emotionally, andpsychologically, if I'm not
(31:26):
right or if I'm not right,peaking right.
Like, if I can get this right,
Speaker 3 (31:30):
right,
Speaker 2 (31:30):
then it's still gonna make everything else better,
right?
Yeah.
So when you get better,everything gets better.
Speaker (31:35):
Exactly.
I I love that quote, man.
Yeah.
Glad you said it again.
Um, I always like to throw thisout there.
Um, what's the best part aboutbeing a dad right now?
So maybe like a, a story orsomething that.
You know, I don't, for me,there's like my daughter, you
know, whispers, I love you atnight and she's three and
there's just kind of this like,like, doesn't matter what else
happened today.
Like there's like somethinghappened maybe that you can
(31:57):
share with us.
Yeah.
Could be recent, could be longago.
But that, that just best partabout being a dad.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's the best part about being a dad is like just
the emotional part of it, dude.
Mm-hmm.
And I think as men, it's like alot of men are, are reluctant
and scared to share theiremotions.
But as humans.
There's one major thing that wewant in this world is to be
loved.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And to have somebody that hasunconditional love to you,
(32:23):
right?
Speaker 5 (32:24):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
And you, and it's funny'cause as you get older,
you're like, I, I look at my momand my dad and there's like, I,
I can't think of a more powerfullove I have for somebody than my
mom or dad.
Right?
Then when you're in teenageyears and stuff like that,
right?
You're like, ugh, you know, hatemom, hate dad.
Right?
Right.
Speaker 7 (32:40):
Um,
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Like, even with like my son right now, his age, and
it's like that 13, um, you know,prepubescent like, like trying
to get the puberty as fast aspossible, but you know, he still
looks up to me and like idolizesme, right?
Mm-hmm.
And one of the things that Imentioned in my, my brotherhood
is like, I wanna be the personthat my son thinks I am.
(33:05):
Right.
When you see that, how theyenvision you mm-hmm.
Yeah.
To be able to mm-hmm.
See that unconditional love,almost like a hero.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Um, to have that from kids, likeone of the things that me and my
kids have always done and, uh,intentionally did this from the
time that they were born, wasalways telling them I love him.
(33:26):
Right.
And a lot of that stemmed frommy dad didn't tell us he loved
us.
And like when we were growing upat all mm-hmm.
Very rarely hurt him.
Mm-hmm.
And it wasn't'cause he didn'tRight.
But that's just not how he wasraised.
Mm-hmm.
Like, he's the oldest of 10brothers and sisters.
Like, he was the heart.
But that was gonna, you know,my, my uncles used to tell me
like, Hey, like if we everneeded something taken care of,
(33:47):
like we would go get your dad.
Right.
Um, which I can't even envisionthat now because like I said.
Grew up in a strong Christianhome.
Never heard him cuss, never seenhim drink.
Right.
Like right.
All this stuff.
Right.
But that's how he was raised andthat's how he was brought up.
Um, so he was brought up in ahome where he was the person.
'cause the dad wouldn't have,you know, he's, he has eight
half brothers and sisters ortwo, um, full biological.
(34:10):
Mm-hmm.
Brother and sister.
Um, one of'em has passed now,but they had two different
daddies throughout their home.
But neither one of the daddies,same mother, neither one of the
daddies were ever present.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Speaker (34:21):
So it was the, so that was, that was what was modeled
to him.
Yeah.
So now he's got you, he's gottachange things.
Yeah.
Just that.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
And it wasn't until, um, I got out of the house Yeah.
And really in college and Yeah.
Lived my own life that I reallylike.
He was like, I love you, andlike.
Speaker 7 (34:38):
you know,
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Now it's the thing that we get on the phone and we
don't even get off the phonewithout telling each other they
love'em.
Right.
But that's just a progressionthat has happened over the
years.
So,
Speaker 5 (34:45):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Because of that lack of hearing, I love you growing
up and mm-hmm.
How it always stuck in my head.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it was a big deal forme.
Mm-hmm.
I've always made it in.
You know, intentionally aboutsaying, I love you to my kids.
Mm-hmm.
So like, every time we get offthe phone, every time we get
off, you know, they go somewherewe leave to go to, you know, he
gets, my son gets out the carwhen I drop him off at school or
whatever.
Yeah.
We leave each other.
(35:06):
It's like, I love you.
Yeah.
And so it's just become a thingin our house that, you know, I
wanted to be intentional aboutimplementing and never want my
kids to ever think that I'm, Idon't love them.
Mm-hmm.
And that I'm not proud of'em.
Right.
So, and that was another thingwith my dad is like, be proud
you, like, right, right.
Um, it time I can rememberdistinctively him telling me he
(35:28):
was proud of me was, um, I had amajor, like it was in college
and I had a, I can't rememberexactly what it was with like,
winning a, you know, player totournament or something like
that, or you know, something.
And I was like, um.
And at this point, yeah, I wasstill young.
Still young.
I was in the college years.
Right.
(35:48):
So I was stubborn.
Right.
But I was like, so you proud ofme?
And he goes, he goes, I'll beproud of you.
And this is just kind of how itcame out.
He's like, I'll be proud of youwhen you graduate.
Right.
And not that he wasn't proud ofme.
Right.
But he was just like, here's thething.
He is like, yeah, I, my biggestthing is I want you to graduate
college.
Yeah.
Right.
So finally I walked across thestage at graduation, got done,
went call my parents, and I waslike, uh.
(36:09):
I say, so are you finally proudof me?
And he goes, what are youtalking about?
He's like, I've always beenproud of you.
I'll always be proud of you.
And he goes, I said, well, hetold me such and such, he didn't
even remember.
Right.
It is one of those things.
Yeah.
You remembered it.
I remember though, of course,because I remember that like how
hard it hit me.
Yes.
So things like that, that withmy kids now, I'm like, I don't
ever want them to think I don'tlove him.
Mm-hmm.
Or I'm not proud of'em.
(36:30):
Mm-hmm.
So it's just one of those thingsthat I always say, anytime they
do something, I'm like, Hey, Ijust, I'm proud of you.
Speaker (36:35):
No, I,
Speaker 6 (36:35):
I,
Speaker (36:36):
I love the, um.
I don't wanna call itvulnerability, but the idea of
being relational, um mm-hmm.
It, it, and talking about ourfeelings, you know, there's just
a sense of, as men, we have tomodel, um, how to do that in our
household.
Mm-hmm.
So if we're bad at it, yeah.
Our kids are gonna be bad at it.
(36:57):
It's gonna keep going.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah.
Speaker (36:58):
And when you can, you know, say, hey,
Speaker 6 (37:01):
you
Speaker (37:02):
you know, in a, in a way, the picture of your dad not
saying he was proud of you atthat moment on the soccer, you
know Yeah.
Was up.
Big moment in your life?
I think, yeah.
It was just like, oh shoot.
Like I, I wanted this, you know,so dad, you proud of me, like
you even saying that.
Yeah.
Probably was a lot to put thatout there.
Yeah.
And well, that's
Speaker 2 (37:18):
one of the things that, especially as a young man
with your dad Yeah.
Is you wanna be, you want yourdad to be proud of you.
Speaker (37:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Like my son, I could see it like, and I could see it
now because of what I wentthrough and it was like, no.
And they're like.
Even my wife can see it strong.
He's like, she's
Speaker 5 (37:34):
he just looking.
He always
Speaker 2 (37:35):
wants you to be proud of him.
Yeah.
And so like just being able totell that to him, I can
completely change his mood orhow he reacts to something just
by telling him how proud ofammo.
Speaker 5 (37:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And that very like particular recent thing that
happened is he got a badhaircut.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Right.
And it wasn't a bad haircut, butthe guy didn't do what he wanted
it to do.
Okay.
He had this moppy curly hair andhe wanted this whole mop look
and the guy cut off.
Too much more than he wanted inthe front.
Okay.
Right.
Uh, and I could see, like assoon as he cut it off in the
chair, his eyes just startedwatering.
And I'm looking at him, I'm justsaying, it's okay.
It's okay.
And then, yeah, after guy hit itand it was actually a, a good
(38:13):
looking haircut, but not what hewanted.
Okay.
So, and I could tell he wasjust, you could see devastated.
Right.
I could see it in his face.
I get in the car and he's aboutto break down and I said, Hey,
listen, I said, I just wannatell you something.
I said, uh, I know that's notthe haircut you wanted.
I'm super proud of how youhandled it.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
And you didn't break down in there in front of those
men.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
And I said, actually, the haircut looks really good.
Speaker 5 (38:38):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And I said, but I know that's not what you wanted.
Mm-hmm.
And I said, but I'm gonna letyou know that I'm proud of you
and how you handle yourself.
Mm-hmm.
I said,'cause things will comeat you in life that you don't
want and don't expect.
And it's all about how youhandle it.
Guess what?
He went home and he was like tohis mom and his sister and he
was like, Hey, you know, he islike, oh man.
(38:58):
He's like, that's not what Iwanted, but you know, like Yeah.
I was like, he is like, youdidn't even say that though.
He was like, and I told, I textmy wife, I said,'cause it's why
he's in a chair.
I was like, he is, be ready.
I was like, be ready.
I said, when you get home, justtell him how good his haircut
looks.
And guess what?
I love it.
He loves it.
Now he gets the same haircut,
Speaker 7 (39:18):
every times.
That's
Speaker 2 (39:19):
but it was just like, I could tell, like it was gonna
go one way or the other when wegot in the car.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
So just being able to tell himhow proud I was of him, the way
he handled everything, changedhis whole demeanor and outlook
on that entire.
Situation.
I love that story.
So Vaughn, but it was one ofthose things that I knew, like I
had to tell'em, like, it ain'tgonna always, you ain't gonna
always get what you want.
Right, right.
Exactly.
(39:39):
Can't always was that song can,that you can't always, always
get what you want.
You want.
Right.
I, I said, I said, things aregonna happen in your life that
you know you don't want tohappen or you wouldn't
expecting.
Or they go Right.
You know?
Yeah.
Not how you wanted it to go.
Right.
But it's how you react to it.
Exactly.
And so I think it was a lessonthat he, he learned that day
and.
I think he remembered it.
Speaker (39:59):
Yvonne, if you haven't been encouraged in recently as a
dad, that's a great story.
That's a great use of teaching ateaching a life lesson amidst
something that's just like ahaircut.
Just another haircut.
Oh, yeah.
But I would like to think he'sgonna remember that at least
that first haircut, I, he
Speaker 4 (40:15):
gives a haircut.
Speaker (40:16):
Yeah.
Well, um, v to kind of wrapthings up a little bit, I want
to be able to promote whatyou're doing with the, um.
The podcast you've mentioned.
Yeah.
Um, your own podcast that you'reputting out.
Yeah.
Um, give us a little teaser orgive our audience what you're
doing there, um, if they wannafollow that and, um, your
mission there.
Yeah.
And then also if our audiencejust wants to keep up with where
(40:36):
you're at and what you're doing,um, best way for them to track
you.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Yeah.
So the podcast is the Flip LifePodcast, um, and been doing it
for a little while now and justkind of sporadically.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but one of the things thatreally, you know.
Kind of sits in my heart is, youknow, being able to, because
through our company, through RIjunkies.
Right.
Um, and you mentioned earlier,like REI junkies, that's an
interesting name.
Uh, and when I created the, thename for that company, um, you
(41:03):
know, one of the things is, islike when you think of junkies
and how I was raised and howmost people think is like, it's
an addict, right?
Yeah.
Right.
Drug addict or whatever.
Right.
Alcoholic addiction, whatever.
Well, I was like, well, I'm at apoint where I'm addicted to real
estate.
Okay.
So REI, real estate investing.
Junkies.
Yep.
So our tagline is Addicted toreal estate.
Speaker 5 (41:20):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Um, but yeah, one of the things that for me, before I
got into real estate, and eventhough I had a successful
business before that.
It didn't provide me the timefreedom or the financial freedom
that real estate provides menow.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Right.
So the pun was intended, like inflipping.
Right?
I was able to get into realestate, start flipping paper,
flipping houses.
Mm-hmm.
You know, now we do primarilyowner financing and providing a
pathway to home ownership.
But through real estate, Iliterally was able to flip my
life mm-hmm.
Right?
From somebody that didn't have alot of extra cash or didn't
have, you know, a lot of extrapassive income or a lot of extra
(41:55):
time mm-hmm.
To somebody that, like, I work alot less than I did before and I
have more financial, you know,uh, resources.
Mm-hmm.
And more time with my family.
So I completely flipped my lifefrom where it was to where it is
now.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And so I wanna highlight other, uh, business
owners throughout the communitythat have been able to do the
same thing for themselves, butalso for their families and for
the community.
Mm-hmm.
So that's the whole purpose ofthe Flip Your Life podcast.
Speaker (42:19):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm looking forward to, to tuning into that.
Just encourage other people thatit, it's possible, right?
Mm-hmm.
Um,'cause a lot of people, Ithink we get so caught up in
where we are now
Speaker 5 (42:28):
mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
That we can't even see, uh, like where it could be.
Speaker 5 (42:31):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
And we're with the potential that we have.
Speaker 5 (42:34):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Um, and we can make a complete 180 degree turn if we
think we're in a bad place orwe're not happy with where we
are now.
Mm-hmm.
Literally can be like a complete180 degree turn and be somewhere
completely different a year fromnow.
Um, so just highlighting peoplethat have done that and, you
know, let them share theirstories and, you know, encourage
other
Speaker (42:52):
people.
I think it's, that's beautiful.
Beautifully said.
I think it starts with amindset, like you just said,
it's, it's a hundred percent,it's what you're thinking.
Hundred.
So if you're, if you're trappedin your mind Yep.
If you're trapped in just the,ah, I gotta pay these bills, or
I'm, I'm, I'm overwhelmed here,you're probably gonna stay
trapped.
Yeah.
If you're thinking, you knowwhat, there's a way outta this,
this guy knows, or this book hassome help here, or, yeah.
(43:13):
You know, you gotta change thatmindset.
Yeah.
Go for it.
So it's belief systems.
That's awesome, man.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Belief systems, like what's the, the saying and what
you can, what you believe youcan achieve.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Right.
It goes the opposite way too.
Right.
Exactly.
We all have limiting beliefs.
Mm-hmm.
We have, everybody has limitingbeliefs.
And those are belief systemsthat we have that limit our
potential.
Mm-hmm.
Because we don't believe that wecan do it.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Or we don't believe it'spossible.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
And when you get rid of those limiting beliefs, it's
amazing what you can actuallydo.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
The brand's a powerful thing.
Yeah.
Man.
It could be a huge driver,right?
Mm-hmm.
And it can drive you to do thethings necessary to get to where
you wanna be.
So.
Speaker (43:50):
Well, thanks so much for your time today on the
Blessed Fathers for all My Dadsout there.
Invest wisely.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.