November 21, 2023 • 20 mins
Welcome shifters! Are you ready to face the question we've all been dodging: Who am I now? In the throes of midlife, with our children growing up, careers morphing, and a sudden abundance of free time, let's confront this new stage head-on. No more hiding in the comfort zone! In this episode, we'll seek answers, guided by our values, gifts, and desires. Armed with easy strategies, you'll uncover who you are beyond the roles you've known so far. It's time to embark on this incredible journey of self-discovery and redefine your identity.
In an empowering session, we'll unlock your unique gifts and cravings, aligning them to form your life's vision. Beyond the labels of mother, grandmother, sister, or daughter, you'll explore your true essence and what truly sets your soul on fire. The intentional and aligned approach will be our compass, leading us to pin down our intentions and align our choices with what we desire. The question is no longer 'Who am I now?' but 'Who do I want to become?' Let's delve into the world of possibilities and embrace this new phase with open arms and hearts. Embrace the transformation, shifters! It's time to reveal your true essence.
Join us in the Modern Midlife Mentorship.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back shifters .
I am so excited about thistopic for this week because I
know that we're all asking thisquestion.
I ask it of myself all of thetime and it's this huge question
we always want to answer who amI?
And in midlife that changes abit because we have a lot of
(00:20):
different things going on.
It's almost like adolescence,right where we're going into
this huge new phase of our lives, and often it's called the
second adolescence.
So let's talk about some of thechanges in midlife.
What might be happening is ourkids are growing up and maybe
leaving the house.
We might be settled in ourcareers, maybe so settled that
(00:43):
we kind of feel stuck.
We don't really want to staywhere we are.
It was great because it paidthe bills and now we're just
kind of bored.
So there's a lot of careertransitions that can happen in
midlife.
Women might be going back toschool.
You might have more time onyour hands, and so you're
wondering what you want to dowith it.
Maybe it's volunteering, maybeit's just wondering like, what
(01:07):
is it that's next?
Because many of us checked allof the boxes that we thought we
were supposed to check when wegot grown up and now it's like
we didn't even plan anything forthe second half of our lives.
And it's here now, and so Ijust want us to start thinking
about this question who am I now?
(01:28):
Because we're not the sameperson we were in our 20s or 30s
or teens or before.
We are new creatures.
We have new gifts, we have newskills.
We have so much more to lookforward to.
We could settle into thiscomfort zone, which is where we
start feeling stuck.
(01:49):
This is when we have a midlifecrisis, because we get stuck in
this comfort zone.
We're like, okay, we're makingenough money, we can pay the
bills, maybe we're saving, maybewe're getting some toys that we
like, but I'm just kind offeeling stuck.
What's next?
Right.
And so sometimes, when we getinto midlife, we also either
(02:12):
want to ask ourselves what'snext, or we tend to get really
comfortable where we are.
We get into this comfort zoneand our world shrinks around us.
Right, because when we get intoour comfort zone, we're not
growing, we're usually restingand staying where we are.
So we can get a.
Let's just settle for this.
(02:33):
This is good enough.
I should, I should be grateful,and that's where I was about 10
or 15 years ago.
I should be grateful, and yet Icried on the way to work every
day because it didn't feel rightfor me.
And so if you're feeling that,I want you to know that settling
doesn't give us our best life.
(02:54):
Settling means that if we lived40 or 50 years already and we
might have 30, 40, 50 more, whatare we gonna do with that time?
The first half probably had somuch energy and so much stuff
jammed packed into it, but wehaven't planned any of this
(03:14):
stuff.
So in order to get the clarityon what we want next, we first
have to get really clear on whoam I, so that we can start
expanding that comfort zoneagain into places that feel good
, not to struggle, not to giveourselves humongous challenges
unless that's your thing but sothat we feel good about the
(03:36):
growth that we continue to have.
So midlife is an interestingplace to be asking ourselves who
am I now?
Because we're shifting theseidentities.
We may have been parents fordecades, right, and now suddenly
our parenting identity isshifting as they leave the house
(04:00):
, as they are moreself-sufficient.
Where is my mother?
Energy now, right, and this canbe really daunting for a lot of
people, because they've builtso much of their identity on
being Caleb's mom or Angie's mom, and so when we get to midlife
and these children start leaving, part of the grief is the grief
(04:24):
of that identity.
Not just the grief of losingthem, but losing part of who we
are, we know ourselves to be,and we should always be asking
ourselves who am I now?
Who am I now right Now that myfull-time mom moming is done?
Who am I now?
(04:46):
And this can happen even if youdon't have kids.
It could be that part of youthat wants to rethink career as
well.
So, meaning, who am I now If Idon't like the career that I'm
in and I want somethingdifferent?
Who am I now?
I have different skills andgifts and callings right.
(05:08):
So this is a big question whoam I now?
And a lot of people don't knowhow to approach this
conversation with themselves,but I'm gonna give you some
really easy ways of determiningwho we are, what we truly are,
beyond our identities, beyondthe way that we have known
(05:30):
ourselves in the past, what isabsolutely true about us that we
can look at in order to reallystart answering this question.
And so there's three areas thatwe're gonna talk about today in
this short episode is values,gifts and what we desire, and
(05:52):
these are some of the truestfactors down to who we are.
So the first one is values.
What do we value most?
I know this can be really hard.
There's lots of values listsout there that you can look at
in order to just peruse them andsee which ones light you up and
(06:12):
which ones really feel true toyou.
But there's also this reallybeautiful social media out there
, which I know some of you aregonna say that's not so
beautiful, but it can be, inthat it shows us what's
important to us.
I get lots of animal videos, Iget lots of crocheting videos
(06:36):
and art videos on my timelinebecause those things are
important to me.
They might be like, well, thosearen't values, but there are
values underneath them, right?
I have a value in creativity isa value of mine that I love to
be creative.
So there goes my crocheting andmy art underneath those animals
(06:57):
.
It's like I really care aboutanimals and I really love to see
happy animals and I love to seehow people care for animals,
even though they don't have tonecessarily.
So there's values underneaththe things that social media is
actually offering us and ittells us what's important to us,
(07:17):
because we've probably watchedso many animal videos before
that they're showing up now.
I also have coaches that showup on my timeline business
coaches and it really startstelling me which coaches are
most important by the ads thatare coming up.
(07:38):
I know that sounds reallystrange, but I want you just to
perhaps look at that.
So there's a couple of ways togo over these values.
One, you can go find valuelists out there there's tons of
them, lists of values and reallysee what lights you up.
And two, just start looking atthe things that are curated for
you.
You might find, you might evenstart wondering, like, why is
(08:02):
this video and why do thesetypes of ads come up?
And there's probably some kindof value underneath it.
So, starting to look at that,what's suggested for you?
Sometimes these algorithms knowus better than we know
ourselves.
So that's one way that, or acouple of ways that we can go
look at our values.
(08:22):
So we want to combine this listof values and this tells us a
lot about what's important to usright, what's important to us.
And then we're going to move onto gifts Gifts, also gifts and
magic and strengths.
They all tell us a little bitmore about who we are.
(08:42):
We may have gotten these giftsand strengths from places we
didn't want to get them Sometrauma or bad things you know
quote-unquote bad things thathappened to us in the past.
But sometimes we get gifts byjust.
You know the experiences thatwe have.
So not only do you still havethose gifts that you might have
(09:05):
had 20 years ago, 30 years ago,but you have grown into new
gifts and strengths that being amom has brought out gifts and
strengths.
Being in your career fordecades has probably brought out
gifts and strengths.
There are strengths and giftsthat we have learned along the
way, what we have learned rightFrom all of these experiences.
(09:30):
And we want to connect withthat part of us, because so
often we're really stuck in thewhat's not right yet and we
forget that there's so much thatwe actually have within
ourselves that we can empowerourselves with.
So we want to look at all ofthe gifts, all of the
(09:51):
experiences we have, and whatare those gifts that come out of
it.
And there's three ways that Ihave my clients look at their
gifts and strengths.
First, I have them write a listof what they think their gifts
and strengths are, which youknow.
Sometimes it's really fast.
Sometimes people can go onpages and pages.
Either way is fine.
(10:13):
The second thing you want to doto look for your gifts is reach
out to your friends and saywhat are three things you love
about me, what are three thingsthat you think I'm really
awesome at?
And I love this part becausepeople are always afraid to ask
and yet when they get theanswers back, they are like
shocked and amazed at how otherpeople see them and the gifts
(10:37):
that other people think thatthey have.
Some of them corroborate whatthey already put down on their
list, but often they bring newgifts that they hadn't even
thought about.
So I invite you to go ask fiveto ten people that you know
family, friends, co-workers,whatever what are some of the
things that I do really well,that you think my gifts or my
(10:59):
strengths are, and you're goingto get great answers.
The third thing is to look atour golden shadow, and I've
talked about this before in thepodcast, but often when we think
about shadow work, we'rethinking about all those things
that we don't like aboutourselves because we're
repressing and denying them, butthe other golden part of that,
(11:20):
the golden shadow, means that Iadmire people, right.
I see women that I admire in mylife and there's certain
qualities about them that I'mlike, oh, I wish I was that
graceful.
Well, the thing is about shadowis, if we recognize it in
someone else, we also have thatwithin us, good or bad.
(11:41):
And so when we start looking orthinking about women or men
whatever people that we reallyadmire and we start breaking
down the qualities that wereally really like about them,
we can write that down on ourgifts and strengths too.
Because we have that or wewouldn't be able to recognize it
(12:02):
, we may not be bringing it outthe way that they are.
We might have passed woundsthat say no showboating or no
showing off to other people.
So maybe we've hid those giftsbecause we don't want other
people to see them or criticizethem.
But there's some reason we'renot bringing them out.
(12:22):
And yet if we see them in otherpeople, they are definitely
ours.
So we can write them down onour list and we can figure out
how to bring them out more whenwe want to right.
So our gifts and our strengthsare unique to us.
We have we each have thisdifferent mixture of gifts and
(12:45):
strengths that I think arereally important for us to
acknowledge, so that we're notalways in the I'm not enough and
comparing ourselves to thesepeople that we admire and then
telling ourselves that we'llnever be as good or we'll never
be able to shine like they do,and the reason we aren't is
because we're not focused onthese gifts and strengths.
(13:06):
So I want us to do that.
So so far, we covered thatyou're gonna look at your values
and then you're gonna look atyour gifts okay, gifts and
strengths.
And the last piece is what Ithink is most important is what
we desire, and I think DanielleLaPorte says something like
(13:27):
desire is the closest truth wehave to who we are.
So desire like a vision board,right, like, if you've ever put
together a vision board, it's apicture, a board of all the
things that I really want in mylife, my goals list, basically.
Well, desire, this want ofthese things, is telling us a
(13:51):
lot of truth about who we areand to me, because of my
intentional online program, Ibelieve it's the most important
part of who we are.
So that vision board, all thethings that we want that are on
that vision board, are therebecause we want to feel a
certain way and we think, if weget that house, if we get that
(14:14):
car, that vacation, that we aregoing to feel that way when we
get there.
And that doesn't always workright, because I got to tell you
when I was young, my mothersaid here's a list of the things
that you need to check.
You check the boxes right.
Your college degree, getting agood job, being able to pay your
own bills, buy a house, get ahusband and a child right All of
(14:37):
those things did not make mehappy, and the reason that is is
because we can't wait to behappy when we get there.
So a vision board is like it'sgreat to strive, or even
sacrifice sometimes, in order toget what we want, but we also
should be bringing that with us,meaning if I want to be happy
(14:59):
when I get there, I need toinfuse happiness into my life.
Now I can bring happy into myeveryday choices.
I can make sure that thechoices I'm making are aligned
with happiness, not just my olddefaults of ways of doing things
.
And so desire tells us who weare and what's most important to
(15:21):
us.
So if we can get to thefeelings that are behind that
vision board, that thosefeelings are the truth of who we
are.
I want to feel passionate, Iwant to feel love, I want to
feel compassion, I want to feelexcited, I want to feel radiant.
(15:45):
Whatever it is, we have to makechoices for that now, and that
really tells us who we are andwhat we want.
So when you think about thisbeautiful life that you want,
maybe even do a visualizationaround the perfect life and this
could be imaginary as wellthere's often flying zebras in
(16:07):
my imagination.
But it's not about the things.
It's about reaching for thosefeelings that we want to feel,
and I know that we all can saythat we want to be happy.
But I want you to go deeper,like what does happy feel like
for you?
Is that feeling passionate?
Is that feeling creative?
(16:28):
Is that feeling confident?
What is that happy for you?
Right, and that will tell us alot more.
So now we have these three lists.
We have our values, what'simportant to me, we have the
gifts, what I bring to the table, and then we have our desire,
(16:52):
which is what we truly craveunderneath those feelings, and
if we put those together, thisnow becomes a really good
picture of who am I without theidentities that we can fall into
like old woman or mom orgrandma or sister or daughter,
(17:13):
without all of those labels.
This is going to tell us thetrue essence of who we are, and
I would love to hear how yoursturns out.
So I would love you to go dothe values, figure out what's
really truly important to you,do the gifts really find out
what's so special about you,what you bring to the table
(17:36):
because you bring a lot, Ipromise and then what we desire,
the truth of how we truly wantto feel, and if we can bring all
of that together, we startgetting a clearer picture of who
I actually am without all ofthe labels, which is so, so
important.
(17:57):
I also just want to mention thatwe do have the intentional and
aligned method, which is the wayto get the clearest on these
desires and then createintentions from our desire so
that we can align with them,meaning we make all of our
choices that are just going tobring us more of that feeling,
(18:19):
and I can teach you how to dothat in the intentional, aligned
method.
I hope that you'll check it out.
That's all I have for you today.
It's a short one because I wantyou to go do the daying work.
Go, spend five or ten minutesat least getting started on your
values, your gifts and yourdesires so you can do that
internal work of figuring outwho am I now.
(18:41):
I hope that was helpful.
Shifters, have a great week.
Welcome back shifters .
I am so excited about thistopic for this week because I
know that we're all asking thisquestion.
I ask it of myself all of thetime and it's this huge question
we always want to answer who amI?
And in midlife that changes abit because we have a lot of
(00:20):
different things going on.
It's almost like adolescence,right where we're going into
this huge new phase of our lives, and often it's called the
second adolescence.
So let's talk about some of thechanges in midlife.
What might be happening is ourkids are growing up and maybe
leaving the house.
We might be settled in ourcareers, maybe so settled that
(00:43):
we kind of feel stuck.
We don't really want to staywhere we are.
It was great because it paidthe bills and now we're just
kind of bored.
So there's a lot of careertransitions that can happen in
midlife.
Women might be going back toschool.
You might have more time onyour hands, and so you're
wondering what you want to dowith it.
Maybe it's volunteering, maybeit's just wondering like, what
(01:07):
is it that's next?
Because many of us checked allof the boxes that we thought we
were supposed to check when wegot grown up and now it's like
we didn't even plan anything forthe second half of our lives.
And it's here now, and so Ijust want us to start thinking
about this question who am I now?
(01:28):
Because we're not the sameperson we were in our 20s or 30s
or teens or before.
We are new creatures.
We have new gifts, we have newskills.
We have so much more to lookforward to.
We could settle into thiscomfort zone, which is where we
start feeling stuck.
(01:49):
This is when we have a midlifecrisis, because we get stuck in
this comfort zone.
We're like, okay, we're makingenough money, we can pay the
bills, maybe we're saving, maybewe're getting some toys that we
like, but I'm just kind offeeling stuck.
What's next?
Right.
And so sometimes, when we getinto midlife, we also either
(02:12):
want to ask ourselves what'snext, or we tend to get really
comfortable where we are.
We get into this comfort zoneand our world shrinks around us.
Right, because when we get intoour comfort zone, we're not
growing, we're usually restingand staying where we are.
So we can get a.
Let's just settle for this.
(02:33):
This is good enough.
I should, I should be grateful,and that's where I was about 10
or 15 years ago.
I should be grateful, and yet Icried on the way to work every
day because it didn't feel rightfor me.
And so if you're feeling that,I want you to know that settling
doesn't give us our best life.
(02:54):
Settling means that if we lived40 or 50 years already and we
might have 30, 40, 50 more, whatare we gonna do with that time?
The first half probably had somuch energy and so much stuff
jammed packed into it, but wehaven't planned any of this
(03:14):
stuff.
So in order to get the clarityon what we want next, we first
have to get really clear on whoam I, so that we can start
expanding that comfort zoneagain into places that feel good
, not to struggle, not to giveourselves humongous challenges
unless that's your thing but sothat we feel good about the
(03:36):
growth that we continue to have.
So midlife is an interestingplace to be asking ourselves who
am I now?
Because we're shifting theseidentities.
We may have been parents fordecades, right, and now suddenly
our parenting identity isshifting as they leave the house
(04:00):
, as they are moreself-sufficient.
Where is my mother?
Energy now, right, and this canbe really daunting for a lot of
people, because they've builtso much of their identity on
being Caleb's mom or Angie's mom, and so when we get to midlife
and these children start leaving, part of the grief is the grief
(04:24):
of that identity.
Not just the grief of losingthem, but losing part of who we
are, we know ourselves to be,and we should always be asking
ourselves who am I now?
Who am I now right Now that myfull-time mom moming is done?
Who am I now?
(04:46):
And this can happen even if youdon't have kids.
It could be that part of youthat wants to rethink career as
well.
So, meaning, who am I now If Idon't like the career that I'm
in and I want somethingdifferent?
Who am I now?
I have different skills andgifts and callings right.
(05:08):
So this is a big question whoam I now?
And a lot of people don't knowhow to approach this
conversation with themselves,but I'm gonna give you some
really easy ways of determiningwho we are, what we truly are,
beyond our identities, beyondthe way that we have known
(05:30):
ourselves in the past, what isabsolutely true about us that we
can look at in order to reallystart answering this question.
And so there's three areas thatwe're gonna talk about today in
this short episode is values,gifts and what we desire, and
(05:52):
these are some of the truestfactors down to who we are.
So the first one is values.
What do we value most?
I know this can be really hard.
There's lots of values listsout there that you can look at
in order to just peruse them andsee which ones light you up and
(06:12):
which ones really feel true toyou.
But there's also this reallybeautiful social media out there
, which I know some of you aregonna say that's not so
beautiful, but it can be, inthat it shows us what's
important to us.
I get lots of animal videos, Iget lots of crocheting videos
(06:36):
and art videos on my timelinebecause those things are
important to me.
They might be like, well, thosearen't values, but there are
values underneath them, right?
I have a value in creativity isa value of mine that I love to
be creative.
So there goes my crocheting andmy art underneath those animals
(06:57):
.
It's like I really care aboutanimals and I really love to see
happy animals and I love to seehow people care for animals,
even though they don't have tonecessarily.
So there's values underneaththe things that social media is
actually offering us and ittells us what's important to us,
(07:17):
because we've probably watchedso many animal videos before
that they're showing up now.
I also have coaches that showup on my timeline business
coaches and it really startstelling me which coaches are
most important by the ads thatare coming up.
(07:38):
I know that sounds reallystrange, but I want you just to
perhaps look at that.
So there's a couple of ways togo over these values.
One, you can go find valuelists out there there's tons of
them, lists of values and reallysee what lights you up.
And two, just start looking atthe things that are curated for
you.
You might find, you might evenstart wondering, like, why is
(08:02):
this video and why do thesetypes of ads come up?
And there's probably some kindof value underneath it.
So, starting to look at that,what's suggested for you?
Sometimes these algorithms knowus better than we know
ourselves.
So that's one way that, or acouple of ways that we can go
look at our values.
(08:22):
So we want to combine this listof values and this tells us a
lot about what's important to usright, what's important to us.
And then we're going to move onto gifts Gifts, also gifts and
magic and strengths.
They all tell us a little bitmore about who we are.
(08:42):
We may have gotten these giftsand strengths from places we
didn't want to get them Sometrauma or bad things you know
quote-unquote bad things thathappened to us in the past.
But sometimes we get gifts byjust.
You know the experiences thatwe have.
So not only do you still havethose gifts that you might have
(09:05):
had 20 years ago, 30 years ago,but you have grown into new
gifts and strengths that being amom has brought out gifts and
strengths.
Being in your career fordecades has probably brought out
gifts and strengths.
There are strengths and giftsthat we have learned along the
way, what we have learned rightFrom all of these experiences.
(09:30):
And we want to connect withthat part of us, because so
often we're really stuck in thewhat's not right yet and we
forget that there's so much thatwe actually have within
ourselves that we can empowerourselves with.
So we want to look at all ofthe gifts, all of the
(09:51):
experiences we have, and whatare those gifts that come out of
it.
And there's three ways that Ihave my clients look at their
gifts and strengths.
First, I have them write a listof what they think their gifts
and strengths are, which youknow.
Sometimes it's really fast.
Sometimes people can go onpages and pages.
Either way is fine.
(10:13):
The second thing you want to doto look for your gifts is reach
out to your friends and saywhat are three things you love
about me, what are three thingsthat you think I'm really
awesome at?
And I love this part becausepeople are always afraid to ask
and yet when they get theanswers back, they are like
shocked and amazed at how otherpeople see them and the gifts
(10:37):
that other people think thatthey have.
Some of them corroborate whatthey already put down on their
list, but often they bring newgifts that they hadn't even
thought about.
So I invite you to go ask fiveto ten people that you know
family, friends, co-workers,whatever what are some of the
things that I do really well,that you think my gifts or my
(10:59):
strengths are, and you're goingto get great answers.
The third thing is to look atour golden shadow, and I've
talked about this before in thepodcast, but often when we think
about shadow work, we'rethinking about all those things
that we don't like aboutourselves because we're
repressing and denying them, butthe other golden part of that,
(11:20):
the golden shadow, means that Iadmire people, right.
I see women that I admire in mylife and there's certain
qualities about them that I'mlike, oh, I wish I was that
graceful.
Well, the thing is about shadowis, if we recognize it in
someone else, we also have thatwithin us, good or bad.
(11:41):
And so when we start looking orthinking about women or men
whatever people that we reallyadmire and we start breaking
down the qualities that wereally really like about them,
we can write that down on ourgifts and strengths too.
Because we have that or wewouldn't be able to recognize it
(12:02):
, we may not be bringing it outthe way that they are.
We might have passed woundsthat say no showboating or no
showing off to other people.
So maybe we've hid those giftsbecause we don't want other
people to see them or criticizethem.
But there's some reason we'renot bringing them out.
(12:22):
And yet if we see them in otherpeople, they are definitely
ours.
So we can write them down onour list and we can figure out
how to bring them out more whenwe want to right.
So our gifts and our strengthsare unique to us.
We have we each have thisdifferent mixture of gifts and
(12:45):
strengths that I think arereally important for us to
acknowledge, so that we're notalways in the I'm not enough and
comparing ourselves to thesepeople that we admire and then
telling ourselves that we'llnever be as good or we'll never
be able to shine like they do,and the reason we aren't is
because we're not focused onthese gifts and strengths.
(13:06):
So I want us to do that.
So so far, we covered thatyou're gonna look at your values
and then you're gonna look atyour gifts okay, gifts and
strengths.
And the last piece is what Ithink is most important is what
we desire, and I think DanielleLaPorte says something like
(13:27):
desire is the closest truth wehave to who we are.
So desire like a vision board,right, like, if you've ever put
together a vision board, it's apicture, a board of all the
things that I really want in mylife, my goals list, basically.
Well, desire, this want ofthese things, is telling us a
(13:51):
lot of truth about who we areand to me, because of my
intentional online program, Ibelieve it's the most important
part of who we are.
So that vision board, all thethings that we want that are on
that vision board, are therebecause we want to feel a
certain way and we think, if weget that house, if we get that
(14:14):
car, that vacation, that we aregoing to feel that way when we
get there.
And that doesn't always workright, because I got to tell you
when I was young, my mothersaid here's a list of the things
that you need to check.
You check the boxes right.
Your college degree, getting agood job, being able to pay your
own bills, buy a house, get ahusband and a child right All of
(14:37):
those things did not make mehappy, and the reason that is is
because we can't wait to behappy when we get there.
So a vision board is like it'sgreat to strive, or even
sacrifice sometimes, in order toget what we want, but we also
should be bringing that with us,meaning if I want to be happy
(14:59):
when I get there, I need toinfuse happiness into my life.
Now I can bring happy into myeveryday choices.
I can make sure that thechoices I'm making are aligned
with happiness, not just my olddefaults of ways of doing things
.
And so desire tells us who weare and what's most important to
(15:21):
us.
So if we can get to thefeelings that are behind that
vision board, that thosefeelings are the truth of who we
are.
I want to feel passionate, Iwant to feel love, I want to
feel compassion, I want to feelexcited, I want to feel radiant.
(15:45):
Whatever it is, we have to makechoices for that now, and that
really tells us who we are andwhat we want.
So when you think about thisbeautiful life that you want,
maybe even do a visualizationaround the perfect life and this
could be imaginary as wellthere's often flying zebras in
(16:07):
my imagination.
But it's not about the things.
It's about reaching for thosefeelings that we want to feel,
and I know that we all can saythat we want to be happy.
But I want you to go deeper,like what does happy feel like
for you?
Is that feeling passionate?
Is that feeling creative?
(16:28):
Is that feeling confident?
What is that happy for you?
Right, and that will tell us alot more.
So now we have these three lists.
We have our values, what'simportant to me, we have the
gifts, what I bring to the table, and then we have our desire,
(16:52):
which is what we truly craveunderneath those feelings, and
if we put those together, thisnow becomes a really good
picture of who am I without theidentities that we can fall into
like old woman or mom orgrandma or sister or daughter,
(17:13):
without all of those labels.
This is going to tell us thetrue essence of who we are, and
I would love to hear how yoursturns out.
So I would love you to go dothe values, figure out what's
really truly important to you,do the gifts really find out
what's so special about you,what you bring to the table
(17:36):
because you bring a lot, Ipromise and then what we desire,
the truth of how we truly wantto feel, and if we can bring all
of that together, we startgetting a clearer picture of who
I actually am without all ofthe labels, which is so, so
important.
(17:57):
I also just want to mention thatwe do have the intentional and
aligned method, which is the wayto get the clearest on these
desires and then createintentions from our desire so
that we can align with them,meaning we make all of our
choices that are just going tobring us more of that feeling,
(18:19):
and I can teach you how to dothat in the intentional, aligned
method.
I hope that you'll check it out.
That's all I have for you today.
It's a short one because I wantyou to go do the daying work.
Go, spend five or ten minutesat least getting started on your
values, your gifts and yourdesires so you can do that
internal work of figuring outwho am I now.
(18:41):
I hope that was helpful.
Shifters, have a great week.
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