March 11, 2025 • 29 mins
We explore how maintaining focus on who we truly are allows us to see clearly regardless of external circumstances. This powerful perspective shift transforms how we navigate life's challenges and make decisions that honor our authentic selves.
• Starting each day with intention rather than assessment
• Seeing clearly during life's storms, not just after they pass
• Focusing from who you are, not what's happening around you
• Trusting intuitive guidance over external opinions
• Using consciousness (mind) rather than just the brain for decision-making
• The Portugal story: how one family trusted intuition to make a radical life change
• Creating vision beyond "normal" limitations
• Letting go of "retrospective embarrassment" that limits forward movement
• Recognizing that your focus determines your reality
• Untethering from people, places, things, and memories that don't support your growth
The time has come for all of us to untether ourselves from the things that do not support us. You cannot focus from an unclear mind or a garbled mental perception of life. See clearly now, no matter what has happened, because it is already a bright, bright, sunshiny day.
You can reach Dr. James at https://www.jamesmellon.org/
Check out Dr. James Mellon's book, The 5 Questions, here on Amazon.
Learn more about Global Truth Center at https://www.globaltruthcenter.org
You can watch Dr. James' live weekly messages on Sunday at 10a PT at https://www.globaltruthcenter.org/sunday-livestream
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr James Mellon (00:00):
When I wake up in the morning before I get out
of bed, I literally tell myselfthat it's going to be a great
day, because it's just too easyto wake up in the morning and
assess how's the day going to be.
Do you notice the difference?
It's very easy to wake up andsay what do I have to do today?
(00:22):
Because some of the times youwake up and you're like, oh God,
I have so much to do today.
Imagine what your day feelslike when you start from that,
when you wake up and you make anassessment.
That is not to your advantage,even if you wake up and anybody
wake up with any aches and painsAm I the only one?
(00:42):
Yeah, good, thank you.
Yeah.
Pains Am I the only one?
Yeah, good, thank you.
Yeah, even that right.
So I wake up and yesterday Idid shoulders right At the gym.
And I woke up this morning, butbefore I've checked to see how
my body was feeling, I was liketoday is an amazing day.
And then I sat up and went, oh,okay.
And then I remembered I didshoulders.
I was like it's just shouldersfrom yesterday.
(01:04):
I do that because it's just tooeasy for me to slip into an
energy that's not going toservice me throughout the day.
So that song I Can See ClearlyNow.
It says I can see clearly nowbecause the rain is gone.
So this song actually tells youI can see clearly because all
(01:28):
this stuff has gone away from me.
But, as you just shared, whatabout seeing clearly when it's
still raining?
What about seeing clearly whenaspects of your life are still
in disarray?
What about seeing clearly nomatter what's going on with your
health, no matter what's goingon in your relationships, no
(01:50):
matter what's going on with yourfinances, no matter what's
going on good band orindifferent?
What about seeing clearly inthose moments?
What about Before you can seeclearly?
What about before you can seeclearly when you're seeing
things a little blurry, a littleconfusing, when, as you said,
when life seems to just stripyou, naked down to the core of
(02:14):
your being?
I know that has happened foreverybody in this room at some
point.
Is there anybody who has neverhad that moment where
everything's just been, you arejust stripped away and you're
like now what?
I don't think so.
I think we've all had thatexperience at one time or
another.
Some of us are lucky, we've hadmany times.
But before I can see clearlywhat's that thing?
(02:38):
In the Christian churchcertainly the Baptist church,
you know they're prayed up.
I've got to be prayed up beforeanything shows up where I need
to pray about, right, thisteaching.
That's what this teaching isall about when you remember who
you are, you're prayed up.
You absolutely are prayed upwhen you remember who you are,
(02:59):
because then, no matter whathappens, what is happening is
happening to someone who knowswho they are.
And if I know who I am, thenwhatever's going on I can see
clearly.
And not now.
I can always see clearly, nomatter what.
(03:20):
Thank you.
So I have a question for youtoday.
The first question I have foryou all is this Where's your
focus?
What are you focusing on inyour life?
Where is your focus?
Is it on the stuff that'sblurring you, or is it on the
fact that you know who you are?
Do you focus from an alreadyestablished premise of I know
who I am, or do you focus froman already established premise
(03:43):
of I look to see who I am.
I look to see how my life isgoing to go.
I look to see what the odds are.
How many of you play the oddsof your life?
I look to see whether or notthis is going to work out for me
or not, and make my decisionsbased on that.
So I have a bunch of things tolook at today.
(04:04):
Here's the first quote by CarlJung your vision will become
clear only when you can lookinto your own heart.
Who looks outside dreams.
Who looks inside awakes.
Right, that's exactly what youjust said too.
So what are you basing yourfocus on?
(04:29):
Are you focusing on what's outhere?
You know it's a challengingworld that we all live in, but
you know what my parents couldhave said that when I was 10,
that it was a challenging worldthey were living in.
So I think we need to get overthis idea that this is so
different.
We're just really challenged.
No, it's not, and I don't meanchallenging in a bad way, I mean
(04:49):
life will always be challengingbecause we are always evolving,
and to evolve, we must jumpover things, we must move
through things, we must allowour minds to evolve, allow our
lives to evolve.
So who looks outside dreams?
I can dream of better life, wecan all do that, and dreaming is
(05:12):
not bad.
But who looks inside becomesawake, awakens to what's really
going on.
So the focus I'm looking attoday is a focus that's already
perfectly aligned inside of whoI am.
And when I look from that, Isee things differently.
I see I feel like Carol appearssinging.
(05:34):
You know, I feel that thoselyrics I can see clearly.
Now Everything's done, I knowwho I am, I know what's possible
and I'm moving in thatdirection.
That's what I really want totalk about today.
So Henry David Thoreau said thisit's not what you look at that
matters, it's what you see,right.
So what do you see right now?
And I'm going to ask you tojust check in on your mind.
(05:56):
What have you been seeing?
What have you allowed yourselfto focus on and what have you
been seeing?
Because it's not just the focus, it's what do you see once you
do focus.
What are you feeding your mindwith?
What are you expanding yourawareness of life with?
(06:16):
Are you seeing from theperspective of I remember who I
am or are you seeing from afearful perspective?
Are you seeing from an awkwardperspective or from a
disoriented perspective?
What is it?
And sometimes it's all of theabove.
Yes, sometimes it's all of that.
Sometimes I'm so clear and thensometimes I catch myself and I
(06:39):
have to go.
Why am I thinking that, or whyam I afraid of that?
Why am I thinking that, or whyam I afraid of that?
Why am I worried about that?
So I have a friend visitingBecky Southwell from Portugal
and three and a half years agowe had dinner with them at their
house here in Westlake,westlake Village right, you were
here Agora, same thing to me, alittle closer, yes, to Studio
(07:08):
City.
And we had dinner with them andwe weren't expecting to hear
what we heard at that dinnerwhen they told us they were
selling everything and moving toPortugal and we were like what,
why would you do that?
And you know their kids werehow old, were how old, they were
going into grades nine and 10.
And they were both like, yeah,we're moving to Portugal, it's
(07:29):
all going to work out great.
And it was a little surprisingto me and I didn't have a
negative feeling about it.
But I was like wow, what's thatlike to just big, huge leap, the
big leap?
What is that like to just Big,huge leap, the big leap?
What is that like to untethermyself from everything and
(07:50):
everyone I know, physically,sell everything and move to a
place I think you visited before.
Right, you went and looked atoh, you hadn't visited yet.
Great, this gets even better.
This story has not even visitedyet, but they're going to
Portugal and they had theirreasons and they explained
everything to us and then,shockingly, they actually did it
(08:12):
.
I mean, it's one thing If I hada dollar for every person that
told me what they were going todo and then never did it, I'd be
even wealthier than I am, butthey did it.
I'd be even wealthier than I am, but they did it.
They moved to Portugal.
Now we have had Zoom dinnerswith them and we keep in touch
with them as we go along and Ilove their children.
(08:34):
And so Becky came in with Bella,her daughter, and I was asking
her how it was going and wetalked about this move and
basically what Becky said to mewas she said you know, I have
learned in my life to reallymake decisions based on my
intuition, not the facts.
I mean not that she doesn'tlook at them, we all look at
(08:56):
them.
But at the end of the day, likethis quote or the quote right
before it, are you going to dealwith what's in your heart or
are you going to deal withwhat's going on in the world
around you and, basically, ifyou learn to see from your heart
, from your intuitive knowing,you're going to make different
decisions.
You're going to make differentchoices in life if you really
(09:19):
listen to what your heart istelling you.
Now, for some people that'sdifficult because you don't
trust your intuition, you're notsure if what you're hearing is
actually intuitively guided orif you've really let your
critical thinking mind bring allof the information into play.
(09:40):
As you're feeling what you'refeeling.
It's called spiritual practiceto stay in alignment with, to
stay in touch with that part ofyou, that pure part of you that
knows what to do, and that it'snot listening to all of your
friends.
I'm sure many of your friendstold you you were insane, didn't
(10:01):
they?
Yeah, was I one of them?
Good, okay, I just want to knowif I said that, no, no, no, no,
I generally say what I meanwhen I mean it, to who I mean it
to, right, tiffany, yeah, so sothis intuitive thing when we
(10:22):
talk about focus, what are youfocusing?
Are you focusing a lot of crapthat doesn't count?
Information in your head.
Are you taking all thatinformation and then focusing it
?
That aside, as I said, when youwalk through this door, which
is why I value this time.
(10:43):
On a Sunday, are you able towalk through the door, put it
all aside and then listen tosomething in you that absolutely
knows.
And I was very excited to getthis picture so you can all see.
There's their family now inPortugal.
That's the bay they live in inPortugal.
Isn't that beautiful?
(11:03):
And those are those two littlekids, connie, that you raised in
church.
Yes, yes, and Michelle, I don'tknow if you had them.
They weren't in NoHo, althoughthe funny part is I met them
from NoHo.
When I was in NoHo, dylan waspart of CSL Westlake, here with
Dr Maureen, and he took mentalmuscle with me, and so one day
(11:27):
he and Becky came to NoHo tochurch.
I remember that day that theycame to visit and it was just
ironic that we then ended uphere and we all ended up
together again.
But I want you to look at thispicture, because what this
picture is a picture of reallyis an intuitive choice to change
everything, the quote youtalked about.
(11:49):
I'm not afraid to changeeverything, everything, their
careers too, everything.
I mean.
They were successfulscreenwriters, television
writers.
Dylan had an incredible career.
When I first met Dylan, he wasone of the actors on what was
the show we used to watch, kevin.
Oh, uh, arrow, arrow the TVseries Arrow and I was like, oh
(12:13):
my God, dylan Neil, it was veryexciting and he was teaching a
class around the corner from us.
Yes, becky, can I add one thing,because I don't want us to
sound like an irresponsible?
Wait, wait, does anybody thinkthis sounds irresponsible?
I did On a whim.
We did a year of research yes,you did of where to live.
(12:38):
Well, I can tell you I couldresearch from now till the end
of my life and it would still bedifficult to do what you did,
(12:59):
no matter what I knew.
Yeah, so this is what we'retalking about today.
I want you all to move.
I want you all to leave thiscountry.
Get out of here, move away.
Just tell me where you're goingso I can open up a global
choose center nearby.
That's not it at all.
When I was a new york actor, I Ipretty much untethered myself
(13:21):
to everything and moved to newyork.
My family told me um, good luck.
I mean really.
Basically, they said you don'thave any training, you don't
really, you're not that great asinger, a dancer or an actor.
I mean, it's not people thereare serious, they're really
professional people.
You're not.
That's not us.
Notice the word us.
(13:42):
That was the familial aep.
We are not and my and our aepwas we never get the breaks.
I heard that my whole childhoodgrowing up.
All my aunts, my uncles, myfather we never get the breaks.
I heard that my whole childhoodgrowing up.
All my aunts, my uncles, myfather we never get the breaks.
Our family never gets thebreaks.
So I grew up with that.
I untethered myself to all ofthat stuff and moved to New York
(14:04):
City where I got the breaks,break after break after break
after break.
And I have to say I moved toNew York with a vision and with
a real focus on who I was goingto be and what I wanted to
accomplish.
My first spiritual educationbegan with a man named Swami
Satchitananda.
How many of you remember SwamiSatchitananda?
(14:26):
Yeah, I actually met with himand sat at his feet for a couple
of years learning who I reallywas.
My family went nuts becausethey were Catholic.
They were Sunday Catholics andEaster Catholics, but they were
Catholics.
And when I started chanting andstarted the Buddhist training,
(14:48):
they literally thought I hadgone off the deep end.
You know.
But I still stayed untetheredto all of that stuff.
I stuck with SwamiSatchitananda until I heard Eric
Butterworth speak, which wasunity.
And once I heard EricButterworth speak at unity,
which was kind of bringingCatholicism and Buddhism into an
(15:09):
understandable form for me, Istarted feeling better about who
I was and what I was and Ipretty much had a very strong
focus.
This is what Swami Satchitanandasaid, and that is him.
Everything begins in the mind.
If you want to see clearly, youneed clear vision.
(15:29):
Everything begins in the mind.
By the way, way, that doesn'tsay brain, does it?
No, the brain is used by themind.
So what is the mind?
Mind is consciousness.
It's the infinite consciousnessof the universe that moves in
and through.
Doug Draper individuates inthis one person here for him to
(15:52):
use the infinite source ofeverything to make the decisions
for his life about what is best.
That's what you have, that'swhat is accessible to you, the
infinite intelligence and wisdomof the universe, moving through
all of life and bringing itthrough into James Mellon, so
(16:13):
that I can now use all of thatto make the decisions I need to
make with my life.
Nowhere does it say look ateverything.
Everybody else is telling you.
Now, that's going to be a partof it, because that's also
consciousness, everything that'sgoing on in the world, but
which one is the one that weneed to really rely on?
(16:34):
That is our intuitive nature,that is what is inside of us,
and then we take that and focusit.
Okay, so what's the vision youhave for your life that is not
based on everything out here?
Do you even know?
What vision do you have foryour life that is not based on
(16:58):
all of the yeah buts from yourhistory?
What vision could you have,what vision could you put into
play for your life that is notpredicated on the past or
predicated on what peoplenormally think of as normal?
That doesn't seem normal whatthey did.
It's not normal.
Most people don't do that, butwhen you really get clear, you
(17:21):
can create a vision of your lifecompletely outside of anything
you've ever imagined.
We need to know that, we need tobelieve that and, as Gabby said
, we need to be teaching ourchildren that, because our
children teaching our childrenthat, because our children and
our children's children are theones that are going to be taking
this truth and blowing it intothe world, and there's going to
(17:44):
come a day when your children'schildren's children's children
are going to be like do you knowthat great-great-great-granny
Andrea didn't know she was Goduntil way late in her life?
Do you know that great, great,great granny Andrea didn't know
she was God until way late inher life, when she met a sailor?
But that's what our ancestorsare gonna be like wow, like we
(18:11):
say, do you know they believedthat the Earth was flat.
We all laugh at most peoplelaugh at that that the earth is
flat.
Someday people are going to belaughing and going.
They didn't know who they were.
They actually believed therewas some guy in the sky
dictating everything and that.
Yet they had everything theyneeded right inside of them.
That's what's going to happen.
(18:32):
So Wallace Waddles said this youcannot retain a true and clear
vision if you are constantlyturning your attention to
opposing pictures, whether theybe external or imaginary.
Wallace Waddles was a greatfinancier, knew exactly what to
do with money and knew exactlywhat prosperity was all about.
(18:54):
And what he's saying here is.
And I picked this picture.
I thought it looked like you,pavel.
Actually, I picked this picture.
I thought to myself this iswhat we get caught up in.
We're constantly looking backwhen our job is to open up and
just look forward.
Everything that's behind us isthere to propel us forward, not
to take us back to it.
(19:16):
So the title of my talk today isRetrospective Embarrassment.
In case you didn't get it, hisback is to you but his head's
swiveled to the back, lookingbehind him, just in case you
didn't notice.
The suit was backwards.
Yes, right, isn't it?
Laurie Savage found that.
So retrospective embarrassment.
(19:37):
This title came because atAdvanced Consciousness this week
, reverend Franny said that.
She said I have retrospectiveembarrassment about some things.
I was like what, what is that?
And she said retrospectiveembarrassment.
I was like, oh my God, I lovethat.
Instantly I said that's thetitle of my talk on Sunday
Retrospective embarrassment.
So Bella Becky's daughter, becky, was going to show me a picture
(20:04):
of Bella's hair when she hadpurple hair was it Pink hair?
And Bella was like no, don'tshow him that Retrospective
embarrassment.
I have a picture of me in verytight red pants with bell
bottoms, with a big purpleflowery shirt like with a big
collar from when I was in thatphase.
I still have those pants.
(20:26):
I do.
I wore them in my show SissyBoy, remember Connie?
Yeah, but I was always soembarrassed by the picture.
I was like, oh my God, how didno one even suspect I was gay?
Of course, when I say that topeople, they went oh, we knew.
Yeah, so retrospectiveembarrassment.
So I want to ask you a questionwhat do you see when you look
(20:47):
back at your life?
Is there anything you'reembarrassed about?
I love that Marty's justsitting there going nope, not a
thing.
Can we all say everything thathas happened in your life, every
choice, every hair choice,every outfit choice, every
partner choice, every careerchoice, every aspect of your
life there's nothing to beembarrassed about?
(21:10):
Peggy's like no, really, really, anybody.
Tell me something you'reembarrassed about.
What are you embarrassed about,peggy?
Well, I'm here to absolve you.
(21:31):
You know, as a minister, I canabsolve you Because I am an
ex-Catholic.
Yes, yes, father, son, holySpirit, you're done.
Yes, so embarrassment,retrospective embarrassment.
Can I just tell you what that'sdoing?
That embarrassment has energy.
It adds to your identity, itadds to what you think about
(21:54):
yourself.
Whatever that was, I, I, youknow what.
I'm going to wear those redpants some Sunday.
I, I, I actually went to put ashirt on this morning, my new,
my new ruffled shirt that I'msaving for Greece.
I almost put it on this morningand then I didn't.
I'll wear it when I come backfrom Greece.
I think it's important for us toreally take a look at our lives
(22:15):
and say is there anything I'mstill holding against myself?
Because that's a focus.
It takes focus away from what Iwant to do.
Here's a quote on embarrassmentby oops, that's not it, is it?
Huh, huh, that's odd.
(22:36):
I think I'm missing slides.
Yeah, I'm missing a bunch ofslides, swan, somehow.
Okay, okay, okay.
So I am not embarrassed in theleast.
Swan's not embarrassed either.
(22:59):
Are you Swan?
Good, we'll talk.
So here's the quote.
It's by Anonymous.
It's this Embarrassment has alot to do with thinking too much
.
How's that?
Are we good with that?
So far?
Let it go.
Nobody cares as much as youthink they do.
It's true, right?
(23:23):
Totally, I love that one.
So here's my question to you howquick are you letting it all go
?
How quickly do you let thingsgo when you have an embarrassing
moment, or do you hold on to it?
Or are you really freaked outby it?
Right?
And then there's another one.
Is embarrassment lasts a moment, regret lasts a lifetime?
(23:43):
So today I want you to reallytake a look at any regrets you
have in your life and make surethat those regrets are not
what's focusing your lifeforward.
Make sure that theembarrassment, that
retrospective embarrassment fromthe past is not still in play
(24:05):
as you are moving forward.
You should not care aboutanything that has happened up to
this point.
You've learned, you know.
There's nothing more to learnfrom it.
We've already figured out whatwe did, why we did it and we
need to be good with it.
So I think this is the nextquote now.
Arthur Miller the best work thatanybody ever writes is the work
(24:29):
that is on the verge ofembarrassing him Always.
I thought that'd be good foryou, becky, right.
And so for we writers mymusical.
It starts rehearsals today attwo o'clock for the next
presentation of this, this timefor a huge audience, for a
theater that will maybe be thetheater that does the world
premiere.
And I wrote a brand new opening,a giant opening, to this new
(24:53):
musical, and I was almostembarrassed to let anybody see
it.
I read it and I was like, ohGod.
And I was almost embarrassed tolet anybody see it.
I read it and I was like, ohGod, I think this might be
dreadful and I put it away,never played it for Kevin, never
played it for anybody.
I put it away and that was likefour months ago.
And as we started to do thisprocess again, I pulled it out
(25:14):
again and I went oh, that'spretty good.
I wonder why I was so and Ithought do I instantly think
what I've written isn't good?
It's something to really lookat.
And I really had to look at it.
And now I am rewriting,chopping things, cutting things,
just rewriting, because I'vedecided I don't care what y'all
think, it's time for me to writewhat I think, what I want.
(25:35):
And so that opening that Iwrote is now the opening of the
show.
It's a giant new opening andit'll be what it'll be.
And if people tell me I didn'tlike that opening, I'll be like
okay, we'll see what happensnext time.
Yeah, so George Lucas said thisalways remember your focus
determines your reality.
(25:56):
So my question to you today isare you aware of what is
determining your reality?
Are you really aware of it?
Are you really spending thetime this month?
Before you focus the camera,make sure you understand what
(26:21):
you're focusing on.
What do you want to focus on?
Don't let the world tell youwhat to focus on, based on what
the world thinks you're capableof.
If I let the world tell me whatI was capable of, I would have
done a tenth of what I've donein life.
My AEP was always whatever it is, I can do it.
(26:43):
I remember when I got a show onBroadway not on Broadway, off
Broadway and I was like theyasked me can you walk a
tightrope?
I said absolutely, who walks atightrope?
I mean, why would I know that Icould walk a tightrope?
But I said yes.
And I remember another job Iwent in for and they said can
(27:04):
you do gymnastics?
I said absolutely.
They said you can do backhandsprings and everything.
I said everything I knew Icould not do a back handspring.
I could never do a backhandspring.
Every time I tried I saidabsolutely.
Now, luckily, they didn't saycould you show us?
And I got that job and do youknow, it never came up.
All through rehearsal I keptwaiting for the day they'd say
(27:27):
this is where the backhandspring's going.
Never came up.
I never did a back handspring.
So you should always say yes toeverything in terms of what you
want in life.
Right, steve?
And it worked.
(27:47):
Yes, absolutely.
Oh, that's it.
So retrospective embarrassment.
I am so grateful to Becky thatshe showed up this weekend and
that she found that picture forme and that we've had this talk,
because it is time for all ofus to untether ourselves from
(28:12):
the things that do not supportus.
People places things, memories,assessments, regrets, regrets,
embarrassments none of thosethings you know in your heart.
You know which ones support youand which ones don't.
You cannot focus from anunclear mind.
(28:33):
You cannot focus from a garbledup mental acumen of what life
is.
You have to be clear, reallyclear, and you need to see
clearly now, no matter what hashappened, because it's going to
be and it already is a bright,bright, sunshiny day, namaste.
When I wake up in the morning before I get out
of bed, I literally tell myselfthat it's going to be a great
day, because it's just too easyto wake up in the morning and
assess how's the day going to be.
Do you notice the difference?
It's very easy to wake up andsay what do I have to do today?
(00:22):
Because some of the times youwake up and you're like, oh God,
I have so much to do today.
Imagine what your day feelslike when you start from that,
when you wake up and you make anassessment.
That is not to your advantage,even if you wake up and anybody
wake up with any aches and painsAm I the only one?
(00:42):
Yeah, good, thank you.
Yeah.
Pains Am I the only one?
Yeah, good, thank you.
Yeah, even that right.
So I wake up and yesterday Idid shoulders right At the gym.
And I woke up this morning, butbefore I've checked to see how
my body was feeling, I was liketoday is an amazing day.
And then I sat up and went, oh,okay.
And then I remembered I didshoulders.
I was like it's just shouldersfrom yesterday.
(01:04):
I do that because it's just tooeasy for me to slip into an
energy that's not going toservice me throughout the day.
So that song I Can See ClearlyNow.
It says I can see clearly nowbecause the rain is gone.
So this song actually tells youI can see clearly because all
(01:28):
this stuff has gone away from me.
But, as you just shared, whatabout seeing clearly when it's
still raining?
What about seeing clearly whenaspects of your life are still
in disarray?
What about seeing clearly nomatter what's going on with your
health, no matter what's goingon in your relationships, no
(01:50):
matter what's going on with yourfinances, no matter what's
going on good band orindifferent?
What about seeing clearly inthose moments?
What about Before you can seeclearly?
What about before you can seeclearly when you're seeing
things a little blurry, a littleconfusing, when, as you said,
when life seems to just stripyou, naked down to the core of
(02:14):
your being?
I know that has happened foreverybody in this room at some
point.
Is there anybody who has neverhad that moment where
everything's just been, you arejust stripped away and you're
like now what?
I don't think so.
I think we've all had thatexperience at one time or
another.
Some of us are lucky, we've hadmany times.
But before I can see clearlywhat's that thing?
(02:38):
In the Christian churchcertainly the Baptist church,
you know they're prayed up.
I've got to be prayed up beforeanything shows up where I need
to pray about, right, thisteaching.
That's what this teaching isall about when you remember who
you are, you're prayed up.
You absolutely are prayed upwhen you remember who you are,
(02:59):
because then, no matter whathappens, what is happening is
happening to someone who knowswho they are.
And if I know who I am, thenwhatever's going on I can see
clearly.
And not now.
I can always see clearly, nomatter what.
(03:20):
Thank you.
So I have a question for youtoday.
The first question I have foryou all is this Where's your
focus?
What are you focusing on inyour life?
Where is your focus?
Is it on the stuff that'sblurring you, or is it on the
fact that you know who you are?
Do you focus from an alreadyestablished premise of I know
who I am, or do you focus froman already established premise
(03:43):
of I look to see who I am.
I look to see how my life isgoing to go.
I look to see what the odds are.
How many of you play the oddsof your life?
I look to see whether or notthis is going to work out for me
or not, and make my decisionsbased on that.
So I have a bunch of things tolook at today.
(04:04):
Here's the first quote by CarlJung your vision will become
clear only when you can lookinto your own heart.
Who looks outside dreams.
Who looks inside awakes.
Right, that's exactly what youjust said too.
So what are you basing yourfocus on?
(04:29):
Are you focusing on what's outhere?
You know it's a challengingworld that we all live in, but
you know what my parents couldhave said that when I was 10,
that it was a challenging worldthey were living in.
So I think we need to get overthis idea that this is so
different.
We're just really challenged.
No, it's not, and I don't meanchallenging in a bad way, I mean
(04:49):
life will always be challengingbecause we are always evolving,
and to evolve, we must jumpover things, we must move
through things, we must allowour minds to evolve, allow our
lives to evolve.
So who looks outside dreams?
I can dream of better life, wecan all do that, and dreaming is
(05:12):
not bad.
But who looks inside becomesawake, awakens to what's really
going on.
So the focus I'm looking attoday is a focus that's already
perfectly aligned inside of whoI am.
And when I look from that, Isee things differently.
I see I feel like Carol appearssinging.
(05:34):
You know, I feel that thoselyrics I can see clearly.
Now Everything's done, I knowwho I am, I know what's possible
and I'm moving in thatdirection.
That's what I really want totalk about today.
So Henry David Thoreau said thisit's not what you look at that
matters, it's what you see,right.
So what do you see right now?
And I'm going to ask you tojust check in on your mind.
(05:56):
What have you been seeing?
What have you allowed yourselfto focus on and what have you
been seeing?
Because it's not just the focus, it's what do you see once you
do focus.
What are you feeding your mindwith?
What are you expanding yourawareness of life with?
(06:16):
Are you seeing from theperspective of I remember who I
am or are you seeing from afearful perspective?
Are you seeing from an awkwardperspective or from a
disoriented perspective?
What is it?
And sometimes it's all of theabove.
Yes, sometimes it's all of that.
Sometimes I'm so clear and thensometimes I catch myself and I
(06:39):
have to go.
Why am I thinking that, or whyam I afraid of that?
Why am I thinking that, or whyam I afraid of that?
Why am I worried about that?
So I have a friend visitingBecky Southwell from Portugal
and three and a half years agowe had dinner with them at their
house here in Westlake,westlake Village right, you were
here Agora, same thing to me, alittle closer, yes, to Studio
(07:08):
City.
And we had dinner with them andwe weren't expecting to hear
what we heard at that dinnerwhen they told us they were
selling everything and moving toPortugal and we were like what,
why would you do that?
And you know their kids werehow old, were how old, they were
going into grades nine and 10.
And they were both like, yeah,we're moving to Portugal, it's
(07:29):
all going to work out great.
And it was a little surprisingto me and I didn't have a
negative feeling about it.
But I was like wow, what's thatlike to just big, huge leap, the
big leap?
What is that like to just Big,huge leap, the big leap?
What is that like to untethermyself from everything and
(07:50):
everyone I know, physically,sell everything and move to a
place I think you visited before.
Right, you went and looked atoh, you hadn't visited yet.
Great, this gets even better.
This story has not even visitedyet, but they're going to
Portugal and they had theirreasons and they explained
everything to us and then,shockingly, they actually did it
(08:12):
.
I mean, it's one thing If I hada dollar for every person that
told me what they were going todo and then never did it, I'd be
even wealthier than I am, butthey did it.
I'd be even wealthier than I am, but they did it.
They moved to Portugal.
Now we have had Zoom dinnerswith them and we keep in touch
with them as we go along and Ilove their children.
(08:34):
And so Becky came in with Bella,her daughter, and I was asking
her how it was going and wetalked about this move and
basically what Becky said to mewas she said you know, I have
learned in my life to reallymake decisions based on my
intuition, not the facts.
I mean not that she doesn'tlook at them, we all look at
(08:56):
them.
But at the end of the day, likethis quote or the quote right
before it, are you going to dealwith what's in your heart or
are you going to deal withwhat's going on in the world
around you and, basically, ifyou learn to see from your heart
, from your intuitive knowing,you're going to make different
decisions.
You're going to make differentchoices in life if you really
(09:19):
listen to what your heart istelling you.
Now, for some people that'sdifficult because you don't
trust your intuition, you're notsure if what you're hearing is
actually intuitively guided orif you've really let your
critical thinking mind bring allof the information into play.
(09:40):
As you're feeling what you'refeeling.
It's called spiritual practiceto stay in alignment with, to
stay in touch with that part ofyou, that pure part of you that
knows what to do, and that it'snot listening to all of your
friends.
I'm sure many of your friendstold you you were insane, didn't
(10:01):
they?
Yeah, was I one of them?
Good, okay, I just want to knowif I said that, no, no, no, no,
I generally say what I meanwhen I mean it, to who I mean it
to, right, tiffany, yeah, so sothis intuitive thing when we
(10:22):
talk about focus, what are youfocusing?
Are you focusing a lot of crapthat doesn't count?
Information in your head.
Are you taking all thatinformation and then focusing it
?
That aside, as I said, when youwalk through this door, which
is why I value this time.
(10:43):
On a Sunday, are you able towalk through the door, put it
all aside and then listen tosomething in you that absolutely
knows.
And I was very excited to getthis picture so you can all see.
There's their family now inPortugal.
That's the bay they live in inPortugal.
Isn't that beautiful?
(11:03):
And those are those two littlekids, connie, that you raised in
church.
Yes, yes, and Michelle, I don'tknow if you had them.
They weren't in NoHo, althoughthe funny part is I met them
from NoHo.
When I was in NoHo, dylan waspart of CSL Westlake, here with
Dr Maureen, and he took mentalmuscle with me, and so one day
(11:27):
he and Becky came to NoHo tochurch.
I remember that day that theycame to visit and it was just
ironic that we then ended uphere and we all ended up
together again.
But I want you to look at thispicture, because what this
picture is a picture of reallyis an intuitive choice to change
everything, the quote youtalked about.
(11:49):
I'm not afraid to changeeverything, everything, their
careers too, everything.
I mean.
They were successfulscreenwriters, television
writers.
Dylan had an incredible career.
When I first met Dylan, he wasone of the actors on what was
the show we used to watch, kevin.
Oh, uh, arrow, arrow the TVseries Arrow and I was like, oh
(12:13):
my God, dylan Neil, it was veryexciting and he was teaching a
class around the corner from us.
Yes, becky, can I add one thing,because I don't want us to
sound like an irresponsible?
Wait, wait, does anybody thinkthis sounds irresponsible?
I did On a whim.
We did a year of research yes,you did of where to live.
(12:38):
Well, I can tell you I couldresearch from now till the end
of my life and it would still bedifficult to do what you did,
(12:59):
no matter what I knew.
Yeah, so this is what we'retalking about today.
I want you all to move.
I want you all to leave thiscountry.
Get out of here, move away.
Just tell me where you're goingso I can open up a global
choose center nearby.
That's not it at all.
When I was a new york actor, I Ipretty much untethered myself
(13:21):
to everything and moved to newyork.
My family told me um, good luck.
I mean really.
Basically, they said you don'thave any training, you don't
really, you're not that great asinger, a dancer or an actor.
I mean, it's not people thereare serious, they're really
professional people.
You're not.
That's not us.
Notice the word us.
(13:42):
That was the familial aep.
We are not and my and our aepwas we never get the breaks.
I heard that my whole childhoodgrowing up.
All my aunts, my uncles, myfather we never get the breaks.
I heard that my whole childhoodgrowing up.
All my aunts, my uncles, myfather we never get the breaks.
Our family never gets thebreaks.
So I grew up with that.
I untethered myself to all ofthat stuff and moved to New York
(14:04):
City where I got the breaks,break after break after break
after break.
And I have to say I moved toNew York with a vision and with
a real focus on who I was goingto be and what I wanted to
accomplish.
My first spiritual educationbegan with a man named Swami
Satchitananda.
How many of you remember SwamiSatchitananda?
(14:26):
Yeah, I actually met with himand sat at his feet for a couple
of years learning who I reallywas.
My family went nuts becausethey were Catholic.
They were Sunday Catholics andEaster Catholics, but they were
Catholics.
And when I started chanting andstarted the Buddhist training,
(14:48):
they literally thought I hadgone off the deep end.
You know.
But I still stayed untetheredto all of that stuff.
I stuck with SwamiSatchitananda until I heard Eric
Butterworth speak, which wasunity.
And once I heard EricButterworth speak at unity,
which was kind of bringingCatholicism and Buddhism into an
(15:09):
understandable form for me, Istarted feeling better about who
I was and what I was and Ipretty much had a very strong
focus.
This is what Swami Satchitanandasaid, and that is him.
Everything begins in the mind.
If you want to see clearly, youneed clear vision.
(15:29):
Everything begins in the mind.
By the way, way, that doesn'tsay brain, does it?
No, the brain is used by themind.
So what is the mind?
Mind is consciousness.
It's the infinite consciousnessof the universe that moves in
and through.
Doug Draper individuates inthis one person here for him to
(15:52):
use the infinite source ofeverything to make the decisions
for his life about what is best.
That's what you have, that'swhat is accessible to you, the
infinite intelligence and wisdomof the universe, moving through
all of life and bringing itthrough into James Mellon, so
(16:13):
that I can now use all of thatto make the decisions I need to
make with my life.
Nowhere does it say look ateverything.
Everybody else is telling you.
Now, that's going to be a partof it, because that's also
consciousness, everything that'sgoing on in the world, but
which one is the one that weneed to really rely on?
(16:34):
That is our intuitive nature,that is what is inside of us,
and then we take that and focusit.
Okay, so what's the vision youhave for your life that is not
based on everything out here?
Do you even know?
What vision do you have foryour life that is not based on
(16:58):
all of the yeah buts from yourhistory?
What vision could you have,what vision could you put into
play for your life that is notpredicated on the past or
predicated on what peoplenormally think of as normal?
That doesn't seem normal whatthey did.
It's not normal.
Most people don't do that, butwhen you really get clear, you
(17:21):
can create a vision of your lifecompletely outside of anything
you've ever imagined.
We need to know that, we need tobelieve that and, as Gabby said
, we need to be teaching ourchildren that, because our
children teaching our childrenthat, because our children and
our children's children are theones that are going to be taking
this truth and blowing it intothe world, and there's going to
(17:44):
come a day when your children'schildren's children's children
are going to be like do you knowthat great-great-great-granny
Andrea didn't know she was Goduntil way late in her life?
Do you know that great, great,great granny Andrea didn't know
she was God until way late inher life, when she met a sailor?
But that's what our ancestorsare gonna be like wow, like we
(18:11):
say, do you know they believedthat the Earth was flat.
We all laugh at most peoplelaugh at that that the earth is
flat.
Someday people are going to belaughing and going.
They didn't know who they were.
They actually believed therewas some guy in the sky
dictating everything and that.
Yet they had everything theyneeded right inside of them.
That's what's going to happen.
(18:32):
So Wallace Waddles said this youcannot retain a true and clear
vision if you are constantlyturning your attention to
opposing pictures, whether theybe external or imaginary.
Wallace Waddles was a greatfinancier, knew exactly what to
do with money and knew exactlywhat prosperity was all about.
(18:54):
And what he's saying here is.
And I picked this picture.
I thought it looked like you,pavel.
Actually, I picked this picture.
I thought to myself this iswhat we get caught up in.
We're constantly looking backwhen our job is to open up and
just look forward.
Everything that's behind us isthere to propel us forward, not
to take us back to it.
(19:16):
So the title of my talk today isRetrospective Embarrassment.
In case you didn't get it, hisback is to you but his head's
swiveled to the back, lookingbehind him, just in case you
didn't notice.
The suit was backwards.
Yes, right, isn't it?
Laurie Savage found that.
So retrospective embarrassment.
(19:37):
This title came because atAdvanced Consciousness this week
, reverend Franny said that.
She said I have retrospectiveembarrassment about some things.
I was like what, what is that?
And she said retrospectiveembarrassment.
I was like, oh my God, I lovethat.
Instantly I said that's thetitle of my talk on Sunday
Retrospective embarrassment.
So Bella Becky's daughter, becky, was going to show me a picture
(20:04):
of Bella's hair when she hadpurple hair was it Pink hair?
And Bella was like no, don'tshow him that Retrospective
embarrassment.
I have a picture of me in verytight red pants with bell
bottoms, with a big purpleflowery shirt like with a big
collar from when I was in thatphase.
I still have those pants.
(20:26):
I do.
I wore them in my show SissyBoy, remember Connie?
Yeah, but I was always soembarrassed by the picture.
I was like, oh my God, how didno one even suspect I was gay?
Of course, when I say that topeople, they went oh, we knew.
Yeah, so retrospectiveembarrassment.
So I want to ask you a questionwhat do you see when you look
(20:47):
back at your life?
Is there anything you'reembarrassed about?
I love that Marty's justsitting there going nope, not a
thing.
Can we all say everything thathas happened in your life, every
choice, every hair choice,every outfit choice, every
partner choice, every careerchoice, every aspect of your
life there's nothing to beembarrassed about?
(21:10):
Peggy's like no, really, really, anybody.
Tell me something you'reembarrassed about.
What are you embarrassed about,peggy?
Well, I'm here to absolve you.
(21:31):
You know, as a minister, I canabsolve you Because I am an
ex-Catholic.
Yes, yes, father, son, holySpirit, you're done.
Yes, so embarrassment,retrospective embarrassment.
Can I just tell you what that'sdoing?
That embarrassment has energy.
It adds to your identity, itadds to what you think about
(21:54):
yourself.
Whatever that was, I, I, youknow what.
I'm going to wear those redpants some Sunday.
I, I, I actually went to put ashirt on this morning, my new,
my new ruffled shirt that I'msaving for Greece.
I almost put it on this morningand then I didn't.
I'll wear it when I come backfrom Greece.
I think it's important for us toreally take a look at our lives
(22:15):
and say is there anything I'mstill holding against myself?
Because that's a focus.
It takes focus away from what Iwant to do.
Here's a quote on embarrassmentby oops, that's not it, is it?
Huh, huh, that's odd.
(22:36):
I think I'm missing slides.
Yeah, I'm missing a bunch ofslides, swan, somehow.
Okay, okay, okay.
So I am not embarrassed in theleast.
Swan's not embarrassed either.
(22:59):
Are you Swan?
Good, we'll talk.
So here's the quote.
It's by Anonymous.
It's this Embarrassment has alot to do with thinking too much
.
How's that?
Are we good with that?
So far?
Let it go.
Nobody cares as much as youthink they do.
It's true, right?
(23:23):
Totally, I love that one.
So here's my question to you howquick are you letting it all go
?
How quickly do you let thingsgo when you have an embarrassing
moment, or do you hold on to it?
Or are you really freaked outby it?
Right?
And then there's another one.
Is embarrassment lasts a moment, regret lasts a lifetime?
(23:43):
So today I want you to reallytake a look at any regrets you
have in your life and make surethat those regrets are not
what's focusing your lifeforward.
Make sure that theembarrassment, that
retrospective embarrassment fromthe past is not still in play
(24:05):
as you are moving forward.
You should not care aboutanything that has happened up to
this point.
You've learned, you know.
There's nothing more to learnfrom it.
We've already figured out whatwe did, why we did it and we
need to be good with it.
So I think this is the nextquote now.
Arthur Miller the best work thatanybody ever writes is the work
(24:29):
that is on the verge ofembarrassing him Always.
I thought that'd be good foryou, becky, right.
And so for we writers mymusical.
It starts rehearsals today attwo o'clock for the next
presentation of this, this timefor a huge audience, for a
theater that will maybe be thetheater that does the world
premiere.
And I wrote a brand new opening,a giant opening, to this new
(24:53):
musical, and I was almostembarrassed to let anybody see
it.
I read it and I was like, ohGod.
And I was almost embarrassed tolet anybody see it.
I read it and I was like, ohGod, I think this might be
dreadful and I put it away,never played it for Kevin, never
played it for anybody.
I put it away and that was likefour months ago.
And as we started to do thisprocess again, I pulled it out
(25:14):
again and I went oh, that'spretty good.
I wonder why I was so and Ithought do I instantly think
what I've written isn't good?
It's something to really lookat.
And I really had to look at it.
And now I am rewriting,chopping things, cutting things,
just rewriting, because I'vedecided I don't care what y'all
think, it's time for me to writewhat I think, what I want.
(25:35):
And so that opening that Iwrote is now the opening of the
show.
It's a giant new opening andit'll be what it'll be.
And if people tell me I didn'tlike that opening, I'll be like
okay, we'll see what happensnext time.
Yeah, so George Lucas said thisalways remember your focus
determines your reality.
(25:56):
So my question to you today isare you aware of what is
determining your reality?
Are you really aware of it?
Are you really spending thetime this month?
Before you focus the camera,make sure you understand what
(26:21):
you're focusing on.
What do you want to focus on?
Don't let the world tell youwhat to focus on, based on what
the world thinks you're capableof.
If I let the world tell me whatI was capable of, I would have
done a tenth of what I've donein life.
My AEP was always whatever it is, I can do it.
(26:43):
I remember when I got a show onBroadway not on Broadway, off
Broadway and I was like theyasked me can you walk a
tightrope?
I said absolutely, who walks atightrope?
I mean, why would I know that Icould walk a tightrope?
But I said yes.
And I remember another job Iwent in for and they said can
(27:04):
you do gymnastics?
I said absolutely.
They said you can do backhandsprings and everything.
I said everything I knew Icould not do a back handspring.
I could never do a backhandspring.
Every time I tried I saidabsolutely.
Now, luckily, they didn't saycould you show us?
And I got that job and do youknow, it never came up.
All through rehearsal I keptwaiting for the day they'd say
(27:27):
this is where the backhandspring's going.
Never came up.
I never did a back handspring.
So you should always say yes toeverything in terms of what you
want in life.
Right, steve?
And it worked.
(27:47):
Yes, absolutely.
Oh, that's it.
So retrospective embarrassment.
I am so grateful to Becky thatshe showed up this weekend and
that she found that picture forme and that we've had this talk,
because it is time for all ofus to untether ourselves from
(28:12):
the things that do not supportus.
People places things, memories,assessments, regrets, regrets,
embarrassments none of thosethings you know in your heart.
You know which ones support youand which ones don't.
You cannot focus from anunclear mind.
(28:33):
You cannot focus from a garbledup mental acumen of what life
is.
You have to be clear, reallyclear, and you need to see
clearly now, no matter what hashappened, because it's going to
be and it already is a bright,bright, sunshiny day, namaste.
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