May 6, 2025 • 29 mins
We explore the journey of self-discovery and spiritual understanding, comparing life to climbing mountains where the journey matters more than the destination.
• Reflecting on lyrics from Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" as a metaphor for life's journey
• Personal transformation from Type A personality traits to spiritual understanding
• The difference between knowledge and true understanding
• How we create our identities based on external labels and conditioning
• Understanding ourselves beyond psychological categorization and societal expectations
• Three practical steps to deepen spiritual understanding: paying attention to reactions, listening to your body, and observing feelings
• Finding true self in silence and awareness
• Learning to build bridges of understanding rather than barriers
Give yourself permission this month to spend time in silence, listening to your inner wisdom. Ask yourself why you react the way you do, why your body feels certain ways, and what your emotions are telling you.
You can reach Dr. James at https://www.jamesmellon.org/
Check out Dr. James Mellon's book, The 5 Questions, here on Amazon.
Learn more about Global Truth Center at https://www.globaltruthcenter.org
You can watch Dr. James' live weekly messages on Sunday at 10a PT at https://www.globaltruthcenter.org/sunday-livestream
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. James Mellon (00:02):
So the title of my talk is the Journey.
So Miley Cyrus wrote that song,the Climb, and there's a lot of
dualistic lyrics here, but notnot really when you really think
about it.
So she says in the song there'salways going to be another
mountain.
I'm always going to want tomake it move.
(00:23):
Can you relate to that lyric?
There's always going to beanother mountain.
There's always going to beanother mountain.
I'm always going to want tomake it move.
Can you relate to that lyric?
There's always going to beanother mountain.
There's always going to beanother, something that I want
to change, I want to movethrough, I want to create in my
life, right, or there's alwaysgoing to be something that comes
up and I'm going to think tomyself that's not it.
I want something different andI want to make that happen.
(00:44):
Do you all have that feeling?
At times, this side does Okay,so, so these lyrics always
worked for me, and then it'salways gonna be an uphill battle
, is it?
Well, well, well, here's thething if you are reaching beyond
(01:05):
your comfort zone, it'sprobably going to feel like an
uphill not battle, but an uphilljourney, because this is all
about the climb, this is allabout the mountain, this
particular song.
It's all about that thing infront of you and I know you all
have it Something in front ofyou that's big and you guys, you
(01:25):
face this all the time.
These mountains, these thingsthat you're going to want to
climb, you're going to want toaccomplish, you're going to want
to do.
And she says it's always goingto be an uphill battle,
sometimes I'm going to have tolose.
How many of you have ever lostat something?
How many of you have never lostat anything in your entire life
?
And there you have it.
(01:45):
We're all in the right place.
Okay, ain't about love, thisline.
It ain't about how fast I getthere, and it ain't about what's
waiting on the other side.
How many of you have spent yourlife trying to get somewhere?
How many of you spent so muchwasted energy trying to be
something that you know is goingto happen later, but it doesn't
(02:06):
does it, because here it is,here you are, and you just walk
around with it at an arm'sdistance, because it's always
there.
And it ain't about what'swaiting on the other side, it's
the climb.
So I call the climb the journey, and that's really what she's
talking about.
It's about the journey thatwe're all taking.
It's about our about.
It's about the journey thatwe're all taking.
It's about our lives.
(02:27):
It's about the way we're livingour lives.
It's about the way we havelived our lives.
It's about the way we want tolive our lives.
I read that article this morningand I thought that's how I want
to live my life.
I want to live my life on aspiritual journey inward, not
necessarily a journey outward.
So I'm going to tell yousomething very personal about me
(02:48):
that you might not have known,which is that I'm a type A
personality.
No, seriously, I really am.
So I am a type A personality.
Now, what I have to ask myselfis how did I come to understand,
how did I come to know that I'ma type A personality?
I mean, did I just come out ofthe womb, competitive Tough room
(03:15):
?
So you know, did I just didthis?
Was this just who I was myentire life?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Did I even know what type Abehavior was?
Do you know how I learned whattype A behavior was?
How many of you know the actorBarry Nelson?
That's your age.
Barry Nelson won an Oscar forthe movie oh Mary, oh Mary, or
(03:39):
something.
No, that's a Broadway show, butsomething about Mary.
Something about Mary, but notthat movie.
But he won an Oscar.
I got to star opposite him in42nd street for a year and on my
30th birthday he gave me a bookon type a behavior.
I'd never heard of type abehavior and he said read this,
it's you.
And I read it and I was like,wow, okay, I don't really see
(04:05):
myself as this and I'll read youwhat the words were.
The description, first of all.
Who here considers themselvestype A?
Kevin, your hand is not up.
Seriously, you don't knowyourself.
Okay, you're really not puttingyour hand up.
Huh.
Thank you, cressida.
Did you have your hand up?
Steve did, of course you didnnot.
Putting your hand up, huh.
Thank you, cressida.
Did you have your hand up?
(04:25):
Steve did, of course you didn'thave your hand up, okay, so I'm
gonna call you all out.
Did you put your hand up,corrine?
No, anthony, you did.
Doug, did you put your hand upHalfway?
You're type A minus, got it,okay, okay.
So here's what a type typemichael.
Are you standing because you'retype a, michael?
(04:46):
Are you standing because you'retype a?
no, okay, good so is your wife,by the way.
Yeah, oh, you're saying no,you're not type a, I don't feel
type a.
Okay, okay, she ste.
What about you, tiffany?
(05:09):
What does the A stand for?
Here's what it is.
Okay, I'm going to read theseand then you all can tell me,
takeshi, whether you are a typeA.
Robbie, are you a type A?
No, okay, here's a goFast-paced.
Are you a type A?
No, okay, here's a goFast-paced, competitive,
high-achieving Eric,multitask-oriented, ambitious,
(05:37):
professionistic, perfectionistic, focused and outgoing.
So how many of you now thinkyou are type A personalities?
Yeah, you're A minus.
There's no such thing.
So here's the thing that I wantto get to, besides the fact
that I am all of those things, Iam all of those things.
(06:02):
I probably did come out of thewomb with the conditioning to be
those things, but thecompetitive thing came because I
came second in my household toan older brother who was perfect
.
He was that perfect first sonthat they were so happy they had
.
And then I came along, thesecond son that should have been
(06:23):
a daughter, and had they reallypaid attention, they could have
gotten half of it at least,right.
So I was the second son andliving in the shadow of a very
handsome butch athletic olderbrother.
So I had to compete.
I had to compete for attention.
(06:44):
I had to compete to.
I had to compete for attention.
I had to compete to get peopleto notice me.
I mean literally, I was verycompetitive from an early age
because of that.
So does that mean I was borntype A or that my situation
caused me to step into somethingthat then identified me and
then I bought it when I was 30,when they showed me what it
meant, then identified me andthen I bought it when I was 30,
(07:06):
when they showed me what itmeant Because I was very
competitive.
Now, did that competition serveme well?
Yes, it did.
I loved auditioning in New York.
I love to go in and get thepart.
I love the audition more thanthe work itself.
I really did.
I'd be like, oh, now I got todo the show, but I would go in.
I'd go in and I loved.
One day I went into an auditionand this guy.
I walked by him and this guywent well, we should all go home
(07:28):
.
And I was like you, betcha, youshould all go home.
And then he said to me he saidyou know, if it weren't for
those muscles of yours, youwouldn't get the part.
And that has stuck with meforever.
I was like, really, it's not mytalent, it's the body.
Well, whichever, whatever ittakes, right, right, carol,
whatever it takes.
(07:51):
So why I'm bringing this uptoday?
Um, am I all of those thingstoday?
Am I?
Am I type a today?
No, I am not.
I am not type a today.
You can NOT, I am NOT type atoday.
You can say, yes, all you want,eric, and keep shaking your
(08:12):
head, but no, I'm really nottype a today.
I go.
If I go back to those things.
First of all, my competitiveedge has all but disappeared.
Wow, this is going to be atough room.
What do you think I'm competingfor?
(08:32):
There's nothing for me tocompete.
What?
Oprah poker?
Oh well, in the bowling, inthose moments I can be
competitive.
But I don't care so much aboutlosing anymore.
I lose at a lot of things Ilost at oh hell how many times.
Karen, poor Karen.
She lost every game, bottom ofthe list, at every game, and it
(08:58):
didn't bother you at all, did it.
She was like I'm never playingthat game again, ever, no.
But that's not the competitionI'm talking about.
I'm talking about thecompetitiveness with yourself
and life, wanting to be more,wanting to beat that person out,
wanting to get more than thisperson, wanting to be more
famous, more acceptable, more ofa star.
(09:19):
I don't have that quality,frankly to be honest and all ego
put aside.
If I had more of that quality,frankly, to be honest and all
ego put aside, if I had more ofthat quality, I'd probably be
much further along in that area.
But, as Kevin will tell you, Ivery often shy away from that
these days because it's not mynature anymore to try to compete
and become something.
My nature now really reflectsmy spiritual understanding that
(09:47):
I don't have to become anything.
I just need to be.
I need to be who I am.
But that really brings up thequestion, doesn't it?
Do I understand who I am today?
That's the understanding we'regoing to talk about this month.
What do you understand aboutyourself, really understand,
(10:11):
understand, in such a deep waythat it shows up in the way you
behave, it shows up in the wayyou live your life, it shows up
in the way your life isunfolding for you.
And that's really the questionDo I find myself sometimes
falling back into that type Abehavior?
I do, and you know what?
It feels uncomfortable.
(10:32):
It feels uncomfortable and itreally feels uncomfortable
afterwards and I'm like, wow,that just doesn't fit anymore.
So I want to give you adefinition, the definition of
understanding.
I'm actually not even going togive you that definition.
What I'm going to tell you isthat in all the definitions I
was looking for of understanding, what came up was the word you
used was knowledge, thatunderstanding is knowledge.
(10:55):
But I'm here to tell youunderstanding is not knowledge.
Knowledge is a part of it andit can be a part of it.
For some people it becomes allof it.
All of their understanding isbased around, some people, the
Bible, that's theirunderstanding of life, and
everything is based on what theBible tells them.
(11:16):
So their understanding ofthemselves and life Comes from a
book that was written Thousandsof years ago and I don't even
know who wrote it.
If they wrote it, the personthat says they wrote it wrote it
, or that they say the personwrote it.
Who knows who wrote that book?
But many people, all of theirunderstanding comes from that.
Some people, all of theirunderstanding comes from
(11:37):
classical psychology.
I'm this type of person thatsays it right here Class A
personality.
I'm a class, a personality, atype A personality, because it
says it right here.
I just read you all the things.
That's me.
So I understand that aboutmyself and then I start behaving
(11:59):
as that person and I live mylife from that perspective.
Or this thing that alwaysdrives me insane spiral dynamics
.
You know, someone came up withthis idea here's Dynamics, oh
I'm green, oh I'm orange, I'mbrown, I'm blue.
I'm insane Because SpiralDynamics says here's where we
(12:19):
are, that's where we are, andthen we take it and we live it.
We are our own self-fulfillingprophecies.
And the question is can you getto that place where you
understand who you are withoutany of it and come up with an
(12:39):
understanding that is so deep,so spiritual, that life begins
to transform?
So knowledge, the knowledge weget, creates our points of view.
We have the point of view wehave about certain things
because we've been taughtcertain things, and yesterday
was so great to hear Mr Stoltmantalk about how they bucked
(13:01):
everything, they were told allthe knowledge and just did what
they felt was what there is todo, and it changed the dynamics
of that winery.
So what in you are you ready tolisten to?
That may change the dynamics ofyour life, of who you are, of
what you are.
(13:21):
We all may be sitting heretoday living lives of someone
else not our true selves, butthe self that we've created out
of all those years.
I no longer compete with myolder brother.
I mean the competition's overand I won.
So there's just no, no, I don'tcompete with him.
I actually love him now.
(13:42):
I don't have to compete withhim.
I told Kevin the other day myfather wrote me a letter once,
truly once.
The other day my father wroteme a letter once, truly once.
But he mailed me this letter toNew York City, to my apartment
when I was acting in New York,and I got the letter and I felt
weird.
I was like my father's writingme a letter.
What happened?
What did I do?
(14:02):
And it was this long lettertelling me that he wished he had
had the life I was having andthat I was living all of his
dreams.
And it was really a touchingletter and we never really
(14:23):
discussed it.
I mean I called him to talk tohim about it, but my father was
a very proud Irish Catholic cop,so you know he must have had an
emotional moment and wrote thatletter and mailed it and then
when I brought it, he goes oh,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm glad
you got it.
That was pretty much it, but itreally impacted me.
I thought so have you notfollowed?
(14:45):
You did not follow the life youwanted to have.
You lived the life you thoughtwas yours to live.
My father was an amazing singerand actor and, it's funny, I
tried to talk him into doing ashow once because they were
casting this role in a showcalled Can I have my Wife Back
Please?
And my mother was very jealousand so he came.
(15:07):
He came and auditioned for thelead in this play at the
Community Theater Playhouse,which was a very successful
Community Theater Playhouse, andhe got the lead and he went
home.
My mother read the script andsaid, no, you're not doing this
Because he had to kiss anotherwoman in the play and he didn't
do it.
I had to go back and tell theproducer.
I was like, yeah, he can't doit, he's not allowed out.
(15:33):
Pretty much that was it.
And I look at those things and Ithink, where am I still saying
you're not allowed to do it, youcan't do that because of this,
you can't do that because ofthis, you can't do that because
here's who you are.
So, you and I, we areconglomerates of our point of
views and our AEPs, our alreadyestablished premises of life.
So our points of view and ouralready established premises of
(15:56):
what this life and what thisworld is all about.
That's what we are.
So I actually want us to oh,you'll do the slides for me,
won't you, swan?
I want us to talk aboutspiritual understanding, which
you brought up already.
So here's a quote which Bradpretty much could have written
himself Understanding that restsin what it does not understand
(16:17):
is the finest.
Let's just sit with that for aminute.
This is Zhuangzi, and I want totell you who that is One of the
ancient well, it is a person,but it ended up being one of the
ancient Chinese texts in Taoism.
So this is 476 to 221 BC,thousands of years ago.
And here's what it's about thatway of life becoming one with
(16:41):
the way of nature andeliminating sets of dualistic
beliefs such as good and evil,life and death, human and nature
, and a promotion of oneness.
This was over 2,000 years ago.
They had it, they had the key,they had the understanding, the
understanding that rests in whatit does not understand.
(17:05):
Brad stood up here and said Idon't know.
I don't understand what we'redoing in this class.
I don't understand a lot of it,but I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling something about itand I have to be honest, I don't
understand a lot of quantummechanics and quantum physics,
but boy am I starting tounderstand where it's taking us
(17:28):
and what we're feeling.
So the understanding I want usto pursue this month is this
understanding, that place in youwhere you don't need to gather
all the knowledge to figuresomething out, that place in you
where you can put the knowledgedown and listen to something
(17:48):
bigger than you.
There is a power for good inthe universe, greater than you
are, and you can use it becauseyou are it.
That's our whole philosophy.
Maybe this month we startliving that philosophy, that
understanding, right?
So Johann Wolfgang von Goethesaid this everyone hears only
(18:15):
what he understands.
So you may think you're gettingit.
You may think you're hearingwhat you need to hear, even
today, everyone in this room andeveryone out there.
You're only hearing what I'msaying, based on the level of
understanding you've allowedyourself to get to.
So you'll take every fifth word, every 10th word, maybe every
(18:38):
sentence, every other sentence,and it will work for you,
because part of you is alreadyin an understandable agreement
with that.
And I'm suggesting, put allthat aside and open up your mind
and open up your heart thisparticular month, because it's
time for us to hear more thanwhat we critically think we
(18:58):
understand.
It's time for us to understanddeeper than what we're willing
to understand in our lives, andperhaps it's understand for time
for us to understand at a muchdeeper level, and I I knew I was
going to come in here and talkabout this today and I thought
you know what the question ishow, how do I do this?
So I decided today to give youthree steps to work on all month
(19:21):
, okay.
So here's step one Payattention to your reactions,
okay, before they turn intoopinions and judgments.
Could you do that?
It's the little, it's theparentheses, that's important.
Pay attention to your reactionbefore it turns into an opinion
or before it supports youropinions and judgments.
(19:44):
That's number one.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Follow them to a quiet placeand listen.
Take that reaction and,personally, move it aside and go
sit with it.
Why did I react that way?
What is it in me that reactsthis way?
Whatever it is, it can be toyourself.
It can be to what someone elseis saying.
(20:04):
It can be to the television.
It can be to whatever's goingon that you are feeling the tug,
the reaction.
It can be to whatever's goingon, that you are feeling the tug
, the reaction.
Start asking the more important, deeper questions.
That's step one.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Number two Pay attention to yourbody.
Pay attention to your bodybefore your body becomes the
(20:25):
issue, because a lot of peoplefeel what's going on in their
body and now the body's theissue and we think it's the body
that's the problem.
It's not your body's justreflecting what's going on in
your mind, in your heart, inyour soul.
That's what's going on withyour body.
So pay attention to your bodybefore the body starts making
you pay attention to it withsome type of pain or disease or
(20:47):
whatever.
And I've had those moments.
You all know that.
I've had the moments where mybody has talked to me and
basically it had to become aboutmy body and then give your body
room to feel.
I'm not saying, pretend you'renot feeling what your body's
telling you, but take it, moveit aside, impersonally, and then
sit with it and ask yourselfwhy is my body telling me this
(21:10):
why do I feel this way?
And that goes for everything,little and small, as I used to
say cancer, hangnail I've hadthem both.
They're both annoying.
Okay, that's number two.
Number three pay attention toyour feelings before they become
your emotions.
Now, for those of you thatdon't understand that part, your
(21:34):
feelings are what goes oninside of you.
Emotions is when you emote themand you let them out, and you
act upon them and you act fromthem and you act as them.
So pay attention to yourfeelings.
Catch those feelings as theycome up.
Give your feelings the respectof being and impersonally ask
why they're there.
(21:54):
And don't assume you know theanswer.
Don't assume it's because yourhusband pissed you off.
It's not usually it is it.
It's usually something I did.
That's what I've been told, soso so pay attention to your
feelings and to your feelings.
They're nobody else's feelingsand they're nobody else's fault
(22:16):
that you're feeling what you'refeeling.
Get to the core of it, get tothe juice of it.
Why am I feeling this way?
So you got those three.
If you do those three thismonth and I'll put them, I'll
put them somewhere.
Maybe we'll send them out toyou all.
Dale Carnegie said this listenfirst, give things a chance to
(22:39):
talk.
All things People, placesthings, emotions, feelings.
Give them a chance to talk, letthem finish.
Do not resist, defend or debate.
This only raises barriers.
Instead, build bridges ofunderstanding.
So can I have you guys up herefor a minute please?
I'm going to invite you all totake a deep breath.
(23:00):
If you could give me that lastslide, please, swan.
Back to my talk.
So this is all about thejourney, right, but what I got
to at the end of this journeyhere this morning is it's time
(23:21):
for you this month to reallyspend the month listening.
There is a place within you,without of you.
There is this beautiful placewhere, when you go there, there
is so much to understand andunderstanding beyond
understanding.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So just take a deep breath, close your eyes and
listen.
Piano plays softly.
In the silence, there is peace.
In the silence, there isunspoken joy.
(24:25):
In the silence, there's release.
As my heart opens up to thevoice, I awake to these precious
(24:53):
moments when I hear all thatcould ever be said.
And right here, in this holysilence, I find God, I find
(25:20):
myself.
Dr. James Mellon (25:24):
Right here, in this holy silence, I find
myself, I find God, I find thatthey're one and the same thing.
I allow myself to feel whatwants to come up and I ask the
question why am I here?
I allow my body to talk to meand I ask, ask myself, why is
(25:51):
this feeling here?
I pay attention to thereactions of my world and I ask
myself what's it about.
And I listen.
I listen into the silence andallow it to show me who I am and
(26:14):
what I am, why I am and where Iam.
And I say thank you for thatand I just continue to listen.
I invite you to take a deepbreath.
Piano plays softly.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
In the silence, there is peace.
In the silence, there isunspoken joy.
In the silence, there isrelease, as my heart opens up to
(27:13):
the voice.
I'm awake to these preciousmoments when I hear all that
could ever be said and righthere, in this holy silence, I
(27:41):
find God.
Oh, I find God, I find myself.
Dr. James Mellon (28:11):
An understanding that goes beyond
what we see.
It rises to the level of who Iam.
This is what I know.
So the title of my talk is the Journey.
So Miley Cyrus wrote that song,the Climb, and there's a lot of
dualistic lyrics here, but notnot really when you really think
about it.
So she says in the song there'salways going to be another
mountain.
I'm always going to want tomake it move.
(00:23):
Can you relate to that lyric?
There's always going to beanother mountain.
There's always going to beanother mountain.
I'm always going to want tomake it move.
Can you relate to that lyric?
There's always going to beanother mountain.
There's always going to beanother, something that I want
to change, I want to movethrough, I want to create in my
life, right, or there's alwaysgoing to be something that comes
up and I'm going to think tomyself that's not it.
I want something different andI want to make that happen.
(00:44):
Do you all have that feeling?
At times, this side does Okay,so, so these lyrics always
worked for me, and then it'salways gonna be an uphill battle
, is it?
Well, well, well, here's thething if you are reaching beyond
(01:05):
your comfort zone, it'sprobably going to feel like an
uphill not battle, but an uphilljourney, because this is all
about the climb, this is allabout the mountain, this
particular song.
It's all about that thing infront of you and I know you all
have it Something in front ofyou that's big and you guys, you
(01:25):
face this all the time.
These mountains, these thingsthat you're going to want to
climb, you're going to want toaccomplish, you're going to want
to do.
And she says it's always goingto be an uphill battle,
sometimes I'm going to have tolose.
How many of you have ever lostat something?
How many of you have never lostat anything in your entire life
?
And there you have it.
(01:45):
We're all in the right place.
Okay, ain't about love, thisline.
It ain't about how fast I getthere, and it ain't about what's
waiting on the other side.
How many of you have spent yourlife trying to get somewhere?
How many of you spent so muchwasted energy trying to be
something that you know is goingto happen later, but it doesn't
(02:06):
does it, because here it is,here you are, and you just walk
around with it at an arm'sdistance, because it's always
there.
And it ain't about what'swaiting on the other side, it's
the climb.
So I call the climb the journey, and that's really what she's
talking about.
It's about the journey thatwe're all taking.
It's about our about.
It's about the journey thatwe're all taking.
It's about our lives.
(02:27):
It's about the way we're livingour lives.
It's about the way we havelived our lives.
It's about the way we want tolive our lives.
I read that article this morningand I thought that's how I want
to live my life.
I want to live my life on aspiritual journey inward, not
necessarily a journey outward.
So I'm going to tell yousomething very personal about me
(02:48):
that you might not have known,which is that I'm a type A
personality.
No, seriously, I really am.
So I am a type A personality.
Now, what I have to ask myselfis how did I come to understand,
how did I come to know that I'ma type A personality?
I mean, did I just come out ofthe womb, competitive Tough room
(03:15):
?
So you know, did I just didthis?
Was this just who I was myentire life?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Did I even know what type Abehavior was?
Do you know how I learned whattype A behavior was?
How many of you know the actorBarry Nelson?
That's your age.
Barry Nelson won an Oscar forthe movie oh Mary, oh Mary, or
(03:39):
something.
No, that's a Broadway show, butsomething about Mary.
Something about Mary, but notthat movie.
But he won an Oscar.
I got to star opposite him in42nd street for a year and on my
30th birthday he gave me a bookon type a behavior.
I'd never heard of type abehavior and he said read this,
it's you.
And I read it and I was like,wow, okay, I don't really see
(04:05):
myself as this and I'll read youwhat the words were.
The description, first of all.
Who here considers themselvestype A?
Kevin, your hand is not up.
Seriously, you don't knowyourself.
Okay, you're really not puttingyour hand up.
Huh.
Thank you, cressida.
Did you have your hand up?
Steve did, of course you didnnot.
Putting your hand up, huh.
Thank you, cressida.
Did you have your hand up?
(04:25):
Steve did, of course you didn'thave your hand up, okay, so I'm
gonna call you all out.
Did you put your hand up,corrine?
No, anthony, you did.
Doug, did you put your hand upHalfway?
You're type A minus, got it,okay, okay.
So here's what a type typemichael.
Are you standing because you'retype a, michael?
(04:46):
Are you standing because you'retype a?
no, okay, good so is your wife,by the way.
Yeah, oh, you're saying no,you're not type a, I don't feel
type a.
Okay, okay, she ste.
What about you, tiffany?
(05:09):
What does the A stand for?
Here's what it is.
Okay, I'm going to read theseand then you all can tell me,
takeshi, whether you are a typeA.
Robbie, are you a type A?
No, okay, here's a goFast-paced.
Are you a type A?
No, okay, here's a goFast-paced, competitive,
high-achieving Eric,multitask-oriented, ambitious,
(05:37):
professionistic, perfectionistic, focused and outgoing.
So how many of you now thinkyou are type A personalities?
Yeah, you're A minus.
There's no such thing.
So here's the thing that I wantto get to, besides the fact
that I am all of those things, Iam all of those things.
(06:02):
I probably did come out of thewomb with the conditioning to be
those things, but thecompetitive thing came because I
came second in my household toan older brother who was perfect
.
He was that perfect first sonthat they were so happy they had
.
And then I came along, thesecond son that should have been
(06:23):
a daughter, and had they reallypaid attention, they could have
gotten half of it at least,right.
So I was the second son andliving in the shadow of a very
handsome butch athletic olderbrother.
So I had to compete.
I had to compete for attention.
(06:44):
I had to compete to.
I had to compete for attention.
I had to compete to get peopleto notice me.
I mean literally, I was verycompetitive from an early age
because of that.
So does that mean I was borntype A or that my situation
caused me to step into somethingthat then identified me and
then I bought it when I was 30,when they showed me what it
meant, then identified me andthen I bought it when I was 30,
(07:06):
when they showed me what itmeant Because I was very
competitive.
Now, did that competition serveme well?
Yes, it did.
I loved auditioning in New York.
I love to go in and get thepart.
I love the audition more thanthe work itself.
I really did.
I'd be like, oh, now I got todo the show, but I would go in.
I'd go in and I loved.
One day I went into an auditionand this guy.
I walked by him and this guywent well, we should all go home
(07:28):
.
And I was like you, betcha, youshould all go home.
And then he said to me he saidyou know, if it weren't for
those muscles of yours, youwouldn't get the part.
And that has stuck with meforever.
I was like, really, it's not mytalent, it's the body.
Well, whichever, whatever ittakes, right, right, carol,
whatever it takes.
(07:51):
So why I'm bringing this uptoday?
Um, am I all of those thingstoday?
Am I?
Am I type a today?
No, I am not.
I am not type a today.
You can NOT, I am NOT type atoday.
You can say, yes, all you want,eric, and keep shaking your
(08:12):
head, but no, I'm really nottype a today.
I go.
If I go back to those things.
First of all, my competitiveedge has all but disappeared.
Wow, this is going to be atough room.
What do you think I'm competingfor?
(08:32):
There's nothing for me tocompete.
What?
Oprah poker?
Oh well, in the bowling, inthose moments I can be
competitive.
But I don't care so much aboutlosing anymore.
I lose at a lot of things Ilost at oh hell how many times.
Karen, poor Karen.
She lost every game, bottom ofthe list, at every game, and it
(08:58):
didn't bother you at all, did it.
She was like I'm never playingthat game again, ever, no.
But that's not the competitionI'm talking about.
I'm talking about thecompetitiveness with yourself
and life, wanting to be more,wanting to beat that person out,
wanting to get more than thisperson, wanting to be more
famous, more acceptable, more ofa star.
(09:19):
I don't have that quality,frankly to be honest and all ego
put aside.
If I had more of that quality,frankly, to be honest and all
ego put aside, if I had more ofthat quality, I'd probably be
much further along in that area.
But, as Kevin will tell you, Ivery often shy away from that
these days because it's not mynature anymore to try to compete
and become something.
My nature now really reflectsmy spiritual understanding that
(09:47):
I don't have to become anything.
I just need to be.
I need to be who I am.
But that really brings up thequestion, doesn't it?
Do I understand who I am today?
That's the understanding we'regoing to talk about this month.
What do you understand aboutyourself, really understand,
(10:11):
understand, in such a deep waythat it shows up in the way you
behave, it shows up in the wayyou live your life, it shows up
in the way your life isunfolding for you.
And that's really the questionDo I find myself sometimes
falling back into that type Abehavior?
I do, and you know what?
It feels uncomfortable.
(10:32):
It feels uncomfortable and itreally feels uncomfortable
afterwards and I'm like, wow,that just doesn't fit anymore.
So I want to give you adefinition, the definition of
understanding.
I'm actually not even going togive you that definition.
What I'm going to tell you isthat in all the definitions I
was looking for of understanding, what came up was the word you
used was knowledge, thatunderstanding is knowledge.
(10:55):
But I'm here to tell youunderstanding is not knowledge.
Knowledge is a part of it andit can be a part of it.
For some people it becomes allof it.
All of their understanding isbased around, some people, the
Bible, that's theirunderstanding of life, and
everything is based on what theBible tells them.
(11:16):
So their understanding ofthemselves and life Comes from a
book that was written Thousandsof years ago and I don't even
know who wrote it.
If they wrote it, the personthat says they wrote it wrote it
, or that they say the personwrote it.
Who knows who wrote that book?
But many people, all of theirunderstanding comes from that.
Some people, all of theirunderstanding comes from
(11:37):
classical psychology.
I'm this type of person thatsays it right here Class A
personality.
I'm a class, a personality, atype A personality, because it
says it right here.
I just read you all the things.
That's me.
So I understand that aboutmyself and then I start behaving
(11:59):
as that person and I live mylife from that perspective.
Or this thing that alwaysdrives me insane spiral dynamics
.
You know, someone came up withthis idea here's Dynamics, oh
I'm green, oh I'm orange, I'mbrown, I'm blue.
I'm insane Because SpiralDynamics says here's where we
(12:19):
are, that's where we are, andthen we take it and we live it.
We are our own self-fulfillingprophecies.
And the question is can you getto that place where you
understand who you are withoutany of it and come up with an
(12:39):
understanding that is so deep,so spiritual, that life begins
to transform?
So knowledge, the knowledge weget, creates our points of view.
We have the point of view wehave about certain things
because we've been taughtcertain things, and yesterday
was so great to hear Mr Stoltmantalk about how they bucked
(13:01):
everything, they were told allthe knowledge and just did what
they felt was what there is todo, and it changed the dynamics
of that winery.
So what in you are you ready tolisten to?
That may change the dynamics ofyour life, of who you are, of
what you are.
(13:21):
We all may be sitting heretoday living lives of someone
else not our true selves, butthe self that we've created out
of all those years.
I no longer compete with myolder brother.
I mean the competition's overand I won.
So there's just no, no, I don'tcompete with him.
I actually love him now.
(13:42):
I don't have to compete withhim.
I told Kevin the other day myfather wrote me a letter once,
truly once.
The other day my father wroteme a letter once, truly once.
But he mailed me this letter toNew York City, to my apartment
when I was acting in New York,and I got the letter and I felt
weird.
I was like my father's writingme a letter.
What happened?
What did I do?
(14:02):
And it was this long lettertelling me that he wished he had
had the life I was having andthat I was living all of his
dreams.
And it was really a touchingletter and we never really
(14:23):
discussed it.
I mean I called him to talk tohim about it, but my father was
a very proud Irish Catholic cop,so you know he must have had an
emotional moment and wrote thatletter and mailed it and then
when I brought it, he goes oh,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm glad
you got it.
That was pretty much it, but itreally impacted me.
I thought so have you notfollowed?
(14:45):
You did not follow the life youwanted to have.
You lived the life you thoughtwas yours to live.
My father was an amazing singerand actor and, it's funny, I
tried to talk him into doing ashow once because they were
casting this role in a showcalled Can I have my Wife Back
Please?
And my mother was very jealousand so he came.
(15:07):
He came and auditioned for thelead in this play at the
Community Theater Playhouse,which was a very successful
Community Theater Playhouse, andhe got the lead and he went
home.
My mother read the script andsaid, no, you're not doing this
Because he had to kiss anotherwoman in the play and he didn't
do it.
I had to go back and tell theproducer.
I was like, yeah, he can't doit, he's not allowed out.
(15:33):
Pretty much that was it.
And I look at those things and Ithink, where am I still saying
you're not allowed to do it, youcan't do that because of this,
you can't do that because ofthis, you can't do that because
here's who you are.
So, you and I, we areconglomerates of our point of
views and our AEPs, our alreadyestablished premises of life.
So our points of view and ouralready established premises of
(15:56):
what this life and what thisworld is all about.
That's what we are.
So I actually want us to oh,you'll do the slides for me,
won't you, swan?
I want us to talk aboutspiritual understanding, which
you brought up already.
So here's a quote which Bradpretty much could have written
himself Understanding that restsin what it does not understand
(16:17):
is the finest.
Let's just sit with that for aminute.
This is Zhuangzi, and I want totell you who that is One of the
ancient well, it is a person,but it ended up being one of the
ancient Chinese texts in Taoism.
So this is 476 to 221 BC,thousands of years ago.
And here's what it's about thatway of life becoming one with
(16:41):
the way of nature andeliminating sets of dualistic
beliefs such as good and evil,life and death, human and nature
, and a promotion of oneness.
This was over 2,000 years ago.
They had it, they had the key,they had the understanding, the
understanding that rests in whatit does not understand.
(17:05):
Brad stood up here and said Idon't know.
I don't understand what we'redoing in this class.
I don't understand a lot of it,but I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling something about itand I have to be honest, I don't
understand a lot of quantummechanics and quantum physics,
but boy am I starting tounderstand where it's taking us
(17:28):
and what we're feeling.
So the understanding I want usto pursue this month is this
understanding, that place in youwhere you don't need to gather
all the knowledge to figuresomething out, that place in you
where you can put the knowledgedown and listen to something
(17:48):
bigger than you.
There is a power for good inthe universe, greater than you
are, and you can use it becauseyou are it.
That's our whole philosophy.
Maybe this month we startliving that philosophy, that
understanding, right?
So Johann Wolfgang von Goethesaid this everyone hears only
(18:15):
what he understands.
So you may think you're gettingit.
You may think you're hearingwhat you need to hear, even
today, everyone in this room andeveryone out there.
You're only hearing what I'msaying, based on the level of
understanding you've allowedyourself to get to.
So you'll take every fifth word, every 10th word, maybe every
(18:38):
sentence, every other sentence,and it will work for you,
because part of you is alreadyin an understandable agreement
with that.
And I'm suggesting, put allthat aside and open up your mind
and open up your heart thisparticular month, because it's
time for us to hear more thanwhat we critically think we
(18:58):
understand.
It's time for us to understanddeeper than what we're willing
to understand in our lives, andperhaps it's understand for time
for us to understand at a muchdeeper level, and I I knew I was
going to come in here and talkabout this today and I thought
you know what the question ishow, how do I do this?
So I decided today to give youthree steps to work on all month
(19:21):
, okay.
So here's step one Payattention to your reactions,
okay, before they turn intoopinions and judgments.
Could you do that?
It's the little, it's theparentheses, that's important.
Pay attention to your reactionbefore it turns into an opinion
or before it supports youropinions and judgments.
(19:44):
That's number one.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Follow them to a quiet placeand listen.
Take that reaction and,personally, move it aside and go
sit with it.
Why did I react that way?
What is it in me that reactsthis way?
Whatever it is, it can be toyourself.
It can be to what someone elseis saying.
(20:04):
It can be to the television.
It can be to whatever's goingon that you are feeling the tug,
the reaction.
It can be to whatever's goingon, that you are feeling the tug
, the reaction.
Start asking the more important, deeper questions.
That's step one.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Number two Pay attention to yourbody.
Pay attention to your bodybefore your body becomes the
(20:25):
issue, because a lot of peoplefeel what's going on in their
body and now the body's theissue and we think it's the body
that's the problem.
It's not your body's justreflecting what's going on in
your mind, in your heart, inyour soul.
That's what's going on withyour body.
So pay attention to your bodybefore the body starts making
you pay attention to it withsome type of pain or disease or
(20:47):
whatever.
And I've had those moments.
You all know that.
I've had the moments where mybody has talked to me and
basically it had to become aboutmy body and then give your body
room to feel.
I'm not saying, pretend you'renot feeling what your body's
telling you, but take it, moveit aside, impersonally, and then
sit with it and ask yourselfwhy is my body telling me this
(21:10):
why do I feel this way?
And that goes for everything,little and small, as I used to
say cancer, hangnail I've hadthem both.
They're both annoying.
Okay, that's number two.
Number three pay attention toyour feelings before they become
your emotions.
Now, for those of you thatdon't understand that part, your
(21:34):
feelings are what goes oninside of you.
Emotions is when you emote themand you let them out, and you
act upon them and you act fromthem and you act as them.
So pay attention to yourfeelings.
Catch those feelings as theycome up.
Give your feelings the respectof being and impersonally ask
why they're there.
(21:54):
And don't assume you know theanswer.
Don't assume it's because yourhusband pissed you off.
It's not usually it is it.
It's usually something I did.
That's what I've been told, soso so pay attention to your
feelings and to your feelings.
They're nobody else's feelingsand they're nobody else's fault
(22:16):
that you're feeling what you'refeeling.
Get to the core of it, get tothe juice of it.
Why am I feeling this way?
So you got those three.
If you do those three thismonth and I'll put them, I'll
put them somewhere.
Maybe we'll send them out toyou all.
Dale Carnegie said this listenfirst, give things a chance to
(22:39):
talk.
All things People, placesthings, emotions, feelings.
Give them a chance to talk, letthem finish.
Do not resist, defend or debate.
This only raises barriers.
Instead, build bridges ofunderstanding.
So can I have you guys up herefor a minute please?
I'm going to invite you all totake a deep breath.
(23:00):
If you could give me that lastslide, please, swan.
Back to my talk.
So this is all about thejourney, right, but what I got
to at the end of this journeyhere this morning is it's time
(23:21):
for you this month to reallyspend the month listening.
There is a place within you,without of you.
There is this beautiful placewhere, when you go there, there
is so much to understand andunderstanding beyond
understanding.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So just take a deep breath, close your eyes and
listen.
Piano plays softly.
In the silence, there is peace.
In the silence, there isunspoken joy.
(24:25):
In the silence, there's release.
As my heart opens up to thevoice, I awake to these precious
(24:53):
moments when I hear all thatcould ever be said.
And right here, in this holysilence, I find God, I find
(25:20):
myself.
Dr. James Mellon (25:24):
Right here, in this holy silence, I find
myself, I find God, I find thatthey're one and the same thing.
I allow myself to feel whatwants to come up and I ask the
question why am I here?
I allow my body to talk to meand I ask, ask myself, why is
(25:51):
this feeling here?
I pay attention to thereactions of my world and I ask
myself what's it about.
And I listen.
I listen into the silence andallow it to show me who I am and
(26:14):
what I am, why I am and where Iam.
And I say thank you for thatand I just continue to listen.
I invite you to take a deepbreath.
Piano plays softly.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
In the silence, there is peace.
In the silence, there isunspoken joy.
In the silence, there isrelease, as my heart opens up to
(27:13):
the voice.
I'm awake to these preciousmoments when I hear all that
could ever be said and righthere, in this holy silence, I
(27:41):
find God.
Oh, I find God, I find myself.
Dr. James Mellon (28:11):
An understanding that goes beyond
what we see.
It rises to the level of who Iam.
This is what I know.
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