September 14, 2025 • 50 mins
Brian Sievers is a leader at Campus Outreach USI in Evansville, IN. In this interview we discuss his testimony, spiritual warfare, evangelism, spiritual gifts, and more.
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Email me at gunner.leath@icloud.com
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This episode was recorded on September 3, 2025.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, I'm here today with Brian Sievers.
And before we get started, just a quick programming note.
I'm going out of town for about 6 months.
This this starting in a couple weeks here and I won't be doing
any recording while I'm gone. So the I have about 4 episodes
(00:22):
pre recorded and then the show will pick back up in around
April. All right, so but I know you and
we're friends. But as I was getting ready for
the interview, I realized I don't really know all that much
about you, so I'm just going to let you introduce yourself.
Who are you and what are you doing with your life?
(00:43):
Oh, Gunner, I hate to hear you're going to go six months
without being able to upload, but I'm sure you'll have people
with this ready to wait for you.So.
But no, I'm Brian Severs and yeah, I'm kind of just going
briefly into who I am originallyfrom Vincennes IN grew up there
very much sticker Christian likeand and they're just kind of
(01:07):
went all the way through my first 18 years of life just
saying, Oh yeah, Christ died formy sons.
That was about it. But it wasn't until actually
graduating high school that I actually began a personal
relationship with Christ, which just looked like reading the
word, going to church, actually wanting A to take something from
it, not just going in and expecting supernatural
(01:27):
occurrences. And then of course, prayer.
So those three, those three things of course, got me a great
foundation level. Just, I was able to grow closer
with Christ. But the same point, I wasn't as
plugged in as what scripturally calls us to do.
And that's whenever I transferred from Vincent's
University to USI, where I am now.
(01:48):
Of course, I've graduated, so I know the allegations are pretty
bad or in some way. But now I originally got plugged
in at USI slash Westwood around my at the end of my junior year
of college and it's been incredible ever since.
I finished up my time at USI at Westwood and since then I've
(02:10):
stuck around. I am now a year and a half
graduated and I still involved. So yeah, we'll see however long
the Lord wants to use me here, but I'm just going in much
deeper with my testimony now that we've kind of know where
I'm at. Really just the basic
hypocritical Christian Christ was my Savior and not my Lord.
(02:31):
So it was really just the cheap grace of thanks, Jesus.
I'm glad that you died for me. And I realized that since I sent
It's bad, but you've already paid for it, so it's OK, right?
Yeah. And so then from there, I just
kept going on and on. Eventually it led to me becoming
overweight and with that, a lot of hatred towards myself.
(02:54):
And then that obviously overflowed to the people around
me. So friends, even my own mother,
which her and my father got divorced whenever I was just
starting high school. And I mean, I have a great
relationship with both my parents, but my mother, she was
definitely the one who was the most active with wanting me to
(03:14):
be involved with my faith that she was constant being a beacon
for Christ. And that's what sucks even more
realizing that I just gave her nothing but hatred.
And to be honest, it was the perfect reflection of how I
could feel Christ was for us just whenever he was on earth
and even just now constantly reaching out but being rejected
(03:35):
and praise God, I was encountered and now for
generation effective callings come upon me, which whole nother
conversation of that. But yeah, since then there
there's of course still sin lostlawfulness, pridefulness, just
having to constantly watch that.But that's definitely a more
(03:56):
slimmed version. But really, those are the sins I
start with upon graduating high school, got deeper in the faith,
lost my weight. Actually, no flip for that.
I lost my weight because I thought what I'm missing is a
girlfriend. So I lost the weight.
Surprise, surprise, a guy who has like 0 good quality is about
(04:16):
himself other than his body is probably not going to get a
decent woman. So that's whenever I was like,
OK, well I need to look deeper into myself.
And that's whenever I got plugged in the church, like
where we talked about before. And yeah, that's really where
I'm at now. God saved me.
That's awesome, man. Do you remember a specific
(04:38):
moment where you're like, this is this is the moment where I
became a Christian and I've walked since then?
Or is it just kind of like a progression?
So I can't really recall an exact moment where I was like,
OK, I'm going to take this seriously.
The only thing that I do remember, which was actually
like a beginning point for me was I told myself I want to read
the Bible cover to cover. Like that was when I first
(05:00):
started like actually getting deeper with my faith, reading
the Word, going to church, genuinely listening and praying.
So I think that was right aroundDecember, may have been shortly
before Christmas, because it waswhile I was on break.
And yeah, I started Genesis, start going through there.
And I actually just finished theBible cover to cover.
I started, Oh my goodness. May have been my freshman year
(05:24):
in college, but it was December and I officially completed maybe
3 weeks ago. Oh wow.
Yeah, so it was a chapter a day,Psalms.
Obviously I did a couple more and I did a couple chapters here
and there, but yeah, that was the rate that I was gone.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Yeah, chapter. Reading the whole Bible was hard
(05:46):
and there's so many different ways to do it, but I like one
time I tried doing the like Bible in a year thing.
It's a lot of reading. It's too much reading.
I knew a girl who read who read the entire Bible in 40 days.
I know. She must not have done much
else. Yeah, she didn't.
She didn't have. There was like a like between
(06:07):
semesters or something. She's like, well, I don't really
have anything to do. I guess I'll read the whole
Bible. That's crazy.
Like not just read like it's herbio's like full of annotations
and bunch of foes and yeah, kinds of stuff.
Yeah. Wild.
Yeah. So, so you, you graduated, but
(06:28):
you're, you're still involved inthe, the, the student ministry
here at Westwood Church and, andat USI.
But it like as a student leader,right.
Well, not a student leader, a leader.
Oh. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy here.
And the lack of student in that phrase now, yeah, it's like I
said, Westwood is just been incredible.
Like actually seeing a church that I really feel as though is
(06:50):
exact what scripture called it to be, that it is a fellowship
of believers that are actually sharpening one another,
challenging. And with that discipleship,
these gatherings that we have every Tuesday night, I mean, and
plus especially being around an elder such as Jeff Knight every
Saturday morning. It's just you are what you're
(07:13):
around. And obviously with that, if you
seek it, I'm sorry, you're probably going to find it.
And frankly, that's what Westwood's provided for me,
thankfully. Yeah.
Well, my next question was goingto be like, how does that, that
church look like? Like the church that's described
in the Bible? But then you just answer my
question. It's not going to come up with
something else. I had some.
(07:34):
Oh, yeah. What?
What made you want to want to stick around to be a leader?
Like I said man, like upon coming to USI, my walk with
Christ just exploded. Like as we went over like in the
last question, it was truly seeing that fellowship get to a
much deeper level. And with I was like, man, this
(07:54):
is awesome. And then because I was kind of
like, OK, yeah, this is awesome.I like to come to Tuesday nights
and maybe I have a Bible study here and there.
Once I went to Orlando Project, which I don't know if Lee or
anybody else has talked to you about.
I talked to, I think I've had a couple of people talk about it
on the show. OK.
(08:15):
So that that would be Daniel, Cecil and Lee we might have
talked about. It he may have briefly touched
on it, 'cause I don't, I don't think he ever went to Orlando
project, but he did go another project, yeah, which was really
cool. I definitely talked to Daniel,
but I mean he hasn't been like like tires or something.
(08:36):
Like that? Oh, Dad.
Yeah, so he went, I mean, he's he's grown, he's got a wife and
kids and family, but OK, I'd sayhe went whenever he was our age
and then a little bit after thattoo.
So. But yeah, yeah, if you want to
talk about. Absolutely, yeah.
So it wasn't until where I went to Orlando Project and it to be
(08:58):
honest, it wasn't anything that truly shook me to my core.
I know there was a lot of peoplethat went there as freshmen,
sophomores, and they were totally blown away with the
level of commitment and just growth that they had there.
But to be honest, what was the best thing for me was just being
around that fellowship for two months straight, and most of
all, the evangelism, going out, talking with people, because I
(09:20):
was doing that USI. And to be honest, it was easy.
I was on home turf, right? Yeah.
There wasn't too much risk. It's like, oh, worst case, I
just see the guy and it's awkward.
But actually going up to random people at Disney, Universal, or
even if we're just in a line at one of the rides and talking to
somebody about Jesus, Yeah, the aggression can pop up pretty
(09:41):
quickly. Excuse me?
See, for me, whenever I'm tryingto evangelize at the opposite
problem, like it's easier for meif I don't know these people,
I'll probably never see them again.
But but then if I'm on home turf, I'm like, I'm going to
have to see these guys like for the next semester at least.
And and so that's when it that'swhen I get cold feet.
(10:04):
But if you, I mean, if you want to touch on that like just kind
of what that evangelism looked like I just on the ground.
Well and 1st off I was going to say I entirely agree when it
comes to like my family, my friends as we.
Yeah, same list. Oh, yeah, Because it's hard to
really walk that line of showingthat you love.
But the same point if you proclaim to be a Christian and
(10:24):
you're not walking. And my grandmother, she had an
incredible saying. I never got to talk with her,
but my mom loves it. And it's, I'm not a judge, but
I'm a good fruit inspector. And I was like, that's funny.
I really like that. But that's the hard line to walk
when it comes to those personal relationships.
But when it comes to your question of boots, Boots on the
ground with Orlando Projects Evangelism, that was your
(10:46):
question, right? So we would just go out every
Tuesday night, go talk with people.
The first conversation I ever had was insane.
I was desperate to have like a conversation with anybody.
And I kept looking for stragglers.
I felt like I was I was a lion on the prowl like trying to find
this wandering gazelle and thankfully God Jimmy just open
(11:08):
open my eyes to this one guy walking by himself earbuds and I
just walked straight up to him as he's walking towards me go to
shake his hands like what's going on brother I'm Brian and
he takes his earpods eye and promptly discos.
Dude what the like that and I turn around my guys that are
with me, which are some like hefty dudes and they're like
(11:30):
right behind me and I was like this looks like we're going to
jump him or something I'm. Like.
So I tell them I was like, hey, scram, all right, I've got this.
And then we go sit down. We end up having an incredible
conversation, even to the point where he shares like, dude, to
be honest, like, I thought you were going to sell me drugs at
first. But when we get into his actual
(11:52):
testimony, one story that he hadjust a week prior, he was
working at this hotel and he would kind of take the towels in
between these areas. And during that time, there
would be a Raven slash crow thatwould follow him.
And he's looked as like, oh, youknow, it's a sign of death.
And I felt as though like, deathwas just watching me.
And I was like, dude, that sucks.
(12:12):
And he's like, yeah, I went to church this past weekend and
came back this this week. And then the crow was still
following me. It will then it perched up here.
Then I think it was just AI wantto say dove, but there's no way
it's a dove. He may just set a bird, but it
was. Licensed in Florida.
Yeah, in Florida. And I think it might have been a
(12:33):
white bird or something that he said.
But he came and started fightingwith the crow and the crow flew
off and it stayed there on the on the power line where they
where they fought. Yeah.
So that's awesome. It was like a haiku or
something. So that was a really awesome
encounter. But most of all, when it comes
to the conversation, just going up talking to people, to be
(12:56):
honest, the leaders at Orlando, they would give you these
prompts and everything. I just didn't really like to use
them. I'd like to just go up, be real.
If you like. Hey, like what you got going on
tonight. That's cool.
What are you living for? Like just getting straight to
the point because if he just do like a calculated thing, which,
yeah, I have to constantly watchthat.
(13:17):
I don't get into a sales mode where it's like go through these
steps, go through this process, but you're truly trying to make
it a conversation that they're part of.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, what was I going to say?
That story is crazy. Oh yeah, that's wild.
(13:41):
And this happens every time. There's always, always one point
where I forget what I was going to say.
But but with the and and when was this when you're at the
Orlando project? So this was about this was last
year's project because this pastlike couple months, this is
where these guys went. But I, I went my last year of
(14:02):
college where I graduated, I went in, I was practically a
senior, but I was basically an adult.
And so I follow all these like 20 year, 20 year olds, 19 year
olds. And I was 22 at the time.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
So now it was an incredible timebe able to lift some dudes up.
And also just hear from guys that have been.
That's so much longer. Yeah.
(14:24):
Yeah, there it goes again. I had some right there.
Oh yeah. What were you able to like, take
some things from the Orlando project and and bring it back
home? Like what did that look like
practically? Most definitely a prayer, like a
prayer life, especially when it came to I think the axe model.
I I'm probably going to slaughter this, but the thing
(14:45):
that I've remembered the most about it was adoration and I was
truly praising God. As soon as you like do start
praying at anything and it's helped me just getting into a
routine, which again, we have towatch the lines of it's not
going to become ritualistic. It's like, OK, in the morning.
I thank God for this, this, thisis this and I'm so thankful for
him, but it's truly adoring and glorifying him.
(15:08):
So the axe small I think, was adoration, Confession.
Yes, exactly. Confession, Thanksgiving, and
then supplication. And the supplication?
That's like asking for things. Exactly.
And dude, thank you so much for tagging in for the C part cause
yeah I totally forgot. I don't think I've learned about
(15:29):
Acts since like third grade, butI guess it just stuck.
That was a core memory for you. Yeah, I'm glad you're able to
tag in, but that was definitely the thing that seemed most an
amp. And other than that, it was
great. Like I said, there were some
people that just totally got recharged.
Like I saw one guy who was just kind of agnostic, who he was
(15:52):
willing to accept anything. He ended up at the end of like
the final evangelism night we had.
He never said anything whenever they'd go out because we'd have
a recap night where after we evangelized, we'd come back,
tell stories of what all has happened.
Well, this guy comes back the last night and he goes, oh, I
mean, First off, guys, I mean, I, I like believe in Christ.
(16:14):
I'm truly, truly not again in mylife.
But I went to a crystal shop. He was spreading the gospel in a
crystal shop and I was like, Oh my gosh, TJ, you went to the
belly of the beast. You're not just like.
And that's the perspective I've had to address it in myself as
we need to go from prisoner to anime when it comes to the evil
(16:35):
one, that we're no longer a partof that, but that we are
constantly looking to go againstthe world.
Yeah, like a like constant battle.
Oh yeah, like in there was a lecture I sat in on a few weeks
ago at summon and and it was about spiritual warfare.
I wanted one of the you've ever heard of Lucas Miles?
(16:59):
No, I have. It works for Charlie Kirk.
He does a lot of his like Christian, I don't know stuff.
And I'm pretty sure Lucas Miles is the one who was talking about
this, but he said he was going through the armor of God, right.
And yes, he read us the passage and says it says put on the full
armor of God, but it doesn't sayanywhere about like taking it
off before you go to sleep, anything like that.
(17:21):
And he's so there's the hour of God should never come off like
this is A and you'll hear peoplesay like every morning, put the
armor of God on. And he wasn't like picking at
that, but he was just trying to make it a point like you don't
don't ever you shouldn't have toput it on again.
It should always be on and just kind of like that constant
battle against the evil 1 like you're saying, like not we're no
(17:44):
longer a prisoner to evil one, but that doesn't mean we're just
going to get up and walk away from him like we should.
But in addition to that, we should also be actively fighting
him because there's other people, other children of God
who are captured, who are so prisoners to the evil.
Exact. The analogy I always give to
people whenever I do evangelize and it gets to that awkward
(18:05):
point where dude, why are you talking to me?
It's like, well look, let's justput this in analogy.
Say you and me are both slaves. I somehow found a key that I had
no way of finding. There was nothing I could ever
do to get this. I get this key on lock.
Should I just run away? Right.
Like that, that would be so scummy.
That's that's fair. And it's like, yeah, brothers.
So I'm going to spam this good news.
(18:28):
Yeah, it's like something that Ithink Lee said.
I'm going to feel bad if it ended up being you who said
this. But in the small group last
year, he was talking about something he heard someone else
say. But like if you're walking down
the street with a friend who's an unbeliever and you're a
believer and the rapture happensand and you get to go to heaven
(18:52):
and they go to hell, and then they look at you and they're
like, why do you want to tell them?
Yeah, why are you telling? Me, that's straight from Cliff
Connectly, because I remember I was already talking about that
because yeah, that that's something that's really helped
out with my urgency in regards of actually like spreading the
gospel, because the last thing Iwant is anyone who I'm truly
close with to. And I don't think that that will
(19:14):
be the case. But still, it is good to fuel to
throw on the fire of say you arewalking past these people
whenever we are going to the throne of judgement, right?
They're like, you didn't tell me.
It's like, oh sorry dude, didn'twant to be a Jesus freak, right?
Yeah, and I mean, that's one of those things that really, like
(19:35):
kind of cuts deep. You know, it's like, oh man, I
need to maybe out there evangelizing.
And the same Brian, I mean, I I really just looked as though
like, you know, everybody shouldgo on evangelize, like, come on,
that's what we should do. I still think that if you feel
any kind of calling, go out and do it.
(19:56):
And I'd love if I see every single person out there doing
it. But the same point it also it
came out because while I was a opie of this one girl, she said
it and I was like, is this correct doctrine?
Like I'm not rare, she talked about.
Like gifts. And she's like Bryan Jenner,
like I think evangelism may be agift from God for you.
(20:17):
And I was like, I mean, thank you.
Like, I really appreciate that. But.
But I mean, looking through the gifts, I mean, if that is the
case, praise God. I'm so thankful.
But if not, still praise God. And yeah, I mean, whatever we
can be a part of because it alsogoes to the body of Christ.
Yeah. If I got to be a hand, for
somebody to be an arm or somebody to be a foot and so on,
(20:40):
like we'd I miss. I constantly have to humble
myself to make sure I don't become the Super Christian, the
right of the multi or the pocket.
Oh my goodness. What?
The multi tool Christian? Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah. I want to make sure that I do
stay humble in that regard, thatI am willing to come to my
brothers and sisters and get inside from them.
Just check that out. We had a sermon at my church
(21:04):
this past Sunday. Not about the spiritual gifts.
There's something about that. Yeah, just kind of talking about
like, just even if your spiritual gift isn't flashy,
it's still needed. Like, just like you were talking
(21:25):
about with the the body of the the church, like being, being,
being the feet might not be veryflashy.
Yeah. Without the feet, where you
going to go? We can't move.
Yeah. Yeah.
And me and Christian were talking about this this morning,
too. Yeah.
And then they were talking aboutlike, there is no, there's no
(21:45):
exhaustive list of this spiritual gift in the Scripture.
Like there's a bunch that's and and again, that's not like the
Bible didn't say that, but that's what my pastor was
teaching on Sunday and said anything that builds up the body
is, is a gift. And you can have talents that
aren't spiritual gifts, too. He was saying, like, you can
(22:08):
have a talent for teaching, but if you're teaching people how to
do drugs, you're not. That's not a spiritual gift.
It's not until you're teaching people about Jesus or about
things that that Jesus would approve of when it becomes a
spiritual gift. Yeah.
That's fun, I like that. So, yeah, spiritual gifts is, is
(22:31):
definitely something that I, I've kind of been interested in
past year or so. I just kind of taken some
interest in me and Jameis talkedabout that on the show.
That was like the second episodeof a long time ago.
Yeah, 'cause we're just kind of talking about like, well, what
about these foundational gifts, 'cause I had heard a few
(22:54):
different points of view on that, like some gifts that were
given to the early church but then not given to anyone else
anymore. And that's what I was taught is
that that's how it is, like prophecy and speaking in touch
with the two big ones. And then James was telling me
like, oh, well, he's like, well,that can't be true because I
(23:16):
know people at our church who can do both those things.
I was like. What speak tongues?
Yeah, that's what he said. So when you say that, are you
still saying like gibberish or are you saying different
languages? I didn't ask.
He wasn't it. It didn't feel like it didn't
feel. Appropriate.
No, I totally. I totally understand.
Yeah. It, it was funny a a second ago,
(23:36):
I was about to say I was like, wait, did I say this?
And then I remember that it's recorded.
Yeah, out there. I was like, Oh yeah.
I said, but yeah, I mean, he andhe didn't tell me who, but what
he was telling me is like these,these are still things that that
are still around. They're just not as I mean,
cause part of it, part of being having these spiritual gifts.
(23:58):
You're not, you don't want to bebraggadocious about it.
I don't, I really don't fully understand it and I don't know
but I just thought that was. Oh yeah, and.
That that conversation got me kind of started on that path of
being interested. Yeah.
And just like with the regards of the tongues in the end, if
that's the case of awesome, but the same point, if we look at
(24:19):
like the context of Acts, like whenever it is Pentecost,
whenever the Spirit came down and they began speaking in
tongues, it wasn't these guys who came along and they're like,
oh, I speak gibberish. These guys are speaking my
gibberish. They're going, no, these guys
are speaking a language. Then I know these Hebrews should
not be speaking something from like over in Egypt or the other
(24:40):
surrounding areas. That's what it really, that's
kind of where I get it from. Tong.
So at the same point, I used to think that same thing, what
you're talking about where the early church had certain gifts
and now we don't have them prophesying.
That's when I definitely to lookat more into I yeah, I haven't
looked anything on that. But when it comes to the
interpreter and you being the one who's able to speak in
(25:03):
tongues, quote, UN quote, then yeah, I I feel as though that
really is just understanding languages.
Yeah, that's how I interpret it too.
The prophecy, Really. The prophecy one, What's it
called? That one?
That one interests me. Oh, yeah.
It's really, I don't know, because it also just makes me
think for either one of them, kind of like, well, is it a lack
(25:26):
of faith that I am that I have that I find it hard to believe
that those two things are, are around in like around me.
And maybe I know people who who can do those things.
And because I mean, God, look ateverything.
I think something about living in the time of history where we
are today. That makes sense.
(25:49):
Something about living today in 2000.
Yeah, this, this era where everything is like, very like
science heavy and like, got to see it, to believe it.
And there's a lot of like, doubtand like fraud.
What's it called? Like there's a lot of fake stuff
(26:09):
out there. I feel like sometimes it's hard
for us. It like, it's easy for us to be
like, oh, yeah. There's like you got like signs
and wonders and angels and demons and and prophecy and
speaking in tongues and miraclesand all that happened 2000 years
ago. That doesn't happen anymore, but
it does. And I mean, at least some of
(26:29):
that stuff I know happened. And so, yeah, I mean, take one
mission trip to to Haiti or, or the Dr. or something like that.
You're going to believe in angels and demons.
Real play. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah. Well, and I saw this one thing.
There was a pastor who was discussing with another pastor.
(26:50):
It was from, I think I believe there's an African pastor who's
speaking to an American pastor and the American pastor, like, I
feel for you. The fact that you have to still
combat, like, blatant demonism and things like that.
And African pastor came back. He's like, I want to be honest.
I mean, but yours are crafty. Yeah.
The fact that I know voodoo is evil, all these things that are
blatant demons. Awesome.
(27:12):
But with yours, like this stuff is ingrained in societies, yeah.
Absolute yeah, I could talk about that for a while and.
And something else, something else that, that, that I've heard
before about that is like the demons are equally pleased with
people who don't believe in themat all and people who worship
(27:34):
them. And, and just like with anything
else, with anything, there's, there's trenches where you can,
you can go too far one way and now you've gotten into a fallacy
and you can go too far the otherway.
And, and both going too far. I mean, but like the example
(27:56):
here is like you should know that angels and demons are real,
but not, or you should know thatdemons are real and, and be on
guard, though don't don't like don't mess with them.
I mean, they don't don't be infatuated by the idea of yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Just helps you really be on guard knowing that.
(28:20):
And and that's another thing that's, I won't say comforting,
but the same point it puts into perspective how awesome our God
is. The fact that by friends of this
world is not omniscient. He is not able to be omnipresent
all around the area. He goes from place to place like
a dude without an airplane ticket.
So to know that this so-called Prince is that limited, then,
(28:44):
yeah. I mean, we have to be aware of
that, this evil that's going on,whether it's through our own,
our own wills that's being influenced by sin or it is
demons taking part of it. We just have to be on guard of
that to be ready to give that answer.
And like, what you were talking about, the gifts casting out
demons, that's another thing I'dhave to look into, see if that
is present. But the same vibe, I mean, I can
(29:06):
tell you it gets me fired up like, yeah, so I can because
again, it is not us. It is only Christ alone that we
have the ability to do anything.And through Spirit, who's now
been dwelling, sanctifying us every day.
But I mean, it gets you fired upto know it's like, yeah, I can.
I can take on this world so longas you were with me, God.
(29:26):
Yeah, spiritual warfare is scary, but it's also something
that kind of like you're saying,like gets you fired up invarian
because we're in the harmony of God.
Oh yeah, that's the thing. We've, I don't know how it is
for you, but I mean, I have so many people in my life,
(29:48):
especially men, who I'm just pretty disappointed with when it
comes to them talking the talk of a Christian.
But when it comes to walking thewalk of, say, leading a family
or truly living this Christian life, that's exactly what Satan
wants. These people who are proclaiming
Christians, but then live in theways of the world.
(30:08):
So not only is it someone who's being either passive in their
faith, who is a true believer, or someone who's bringing about
a bad name for Christians, whichthen brings forth a bad name for
Christ. So yeah, I mean the I think that
having a firm knowledge of spiritual warfare and being
ready to confront it, that's what men need to be to be ready
to combat it at any time. Yeah, keep the arm of God on and
(30:33):
and the devil go after leaders, most of all men who like like
fathers and and then pastors andand just those who God have
called to lead the the enemy goes after them.
I mean really hard. That's why we need to, I mean,
(30:54):
the Bible calls us in, I think is Timothy to pray for your
pastors. No, Yeah, yeah.
Because I need it big time. I pray for everyone.
But of course, so it's, I mean, that's why you see all these
like these big time pastors blowup in spectacular fashion very
(31:17):
publicly. And it, and it, it hurts a lot
of people and, and, and people will be like, Oh yeah, I don't,
I had a bad experience with pastor or I, I went to church,
but then the pastor was caught cheating.
And, and I mean it, it does work, it take down the this
leader and then it hurts everyone else that they were
(31:40):
leading. And that's one thing that I, I'm
very thankful that Westwood, because I've never seen a pastor
prior be blatantly open with their weakness Before Westwood,
I was listening to Ben Russell. He was the pastor up here that
Sunday. And he just says, like, do not
have your faith in me. I didn't fall.
(32:01):
Yeah. And if that's something that I
feel disappointed with, like, whenever, like how you said, if
a pastor falls, then the church kind of dwindles.
Are we reading the same Bible? Because I'm sorry.
But as soon as you say, like, how well, my growth is really
dependent on this guy, Yeah. Then I'm sorry, brother.
You're not on the rock. You were on the sand.
(32:24):
Because we can drift here and there so quickly.
We need that foundation that is Christ alone.
And again, leaders, they're in that position and it sounds like
I'm, I love to be active with Westwood and with that leader
position. By no means a pastor or anything
like that, but it's the thing that I'm constantly keeping in
(32:45):
check because like I told you, Imean, I am struggling with sense
of loss, lawfulness. And with that, I mean, it really
humbles you because say someone comes up as like, man, I can't
believe he did that. I was like, well I'm sorry that
I gave the impression I'm perfect because I'm not.
I mean I'm a Sinner equally deserving of damnation.
The only thing that has changed that is that God intervened on
(33:08):
my life. Christ died for me and now
Spirit is working in me. And trust me, if I could die
right here and now and that Spirit could just take over this
body, sign me up, I'd love it. But sadly, we've got a tango
until the race is complete. Battle against the flesh.
What? Earlier.
Yeah. And all that.
(33:29):
It's not to say that pastors aren't good things to have very
important. That's why they're they're the
the enemy goes after them. Yeah.
It's that like life, we kind of just keep going back to it's
walking that line because again,if God's bless people with that
wisdom to where they are able toshepherd others, praise God.
(33:50):
Yeah, but the same point, the end.
I I love how the Scripture refers to us as sheep because we
are stupid. Yeah.
Like we, we are incapable. And with that, I mean, we just
need to be conscious. Is that though?
These are shepherds. I mean, look at David.
He was the competent shepherd. He was able to take down bears
and lions. But then once he got in the king
(34:13):
role, that's when things startedmoving downhill.
Yeah. And so we have.
Great Shepherd is so thankful for it.
But we need to be aware that we can't have faith in people.
We need to make sure it's alwaysroot in Christ.
And like you said, we are praying for everyone around us,
especially our leaders. Yeah.
Absolutely. Speaking of leaders smooth
transition, what is what is there like a specific part about
(34:41):
like not just sticking around Westwood for like to get the for
you to be LED, but also for you to be able to lead others?
What What about that do you enjoy?
To be honest, like the thing that I had to give for like a
little blurb for youth groups, so core Bentar Middle School and
high school team. The blurb that I had to really
(35:03):
get there is that in my first 18years, wife and especially like
that period between middle school to high school because I
was just done with church other than Sunday's.
Once I got out of middle school,I would just come every Sunday
with my mom and market off the checklist because it's what she
made me do right. But that time time frame in
(35:24):
middle school, and it's something I'm definitely going
to have to challenge myself on. But while I was in that time
frame, say in middle school, no one ever challenged me in my
faith. No one was there like, hey,
Brian, like you're proclaimed tobe a Christian.
But I mean, just like seeing your fruit, it's clear that it's
not. And so like what exactly?
(35:44):
Save someone? I'd never, I never had that.
And it's something that I am desperate for that if God
provides it, I mean, it will be such a blessing is that I do
want to be there to really bringup this next generation.
Yeah. And especially with Tuesday
nights, things like that. But I've see these guys who are
coming in, girls as well. They are just kind of living for
(36:05):
the world. And with that, it's kind of just
pleading with them going, look, I don't have everything figured
out, but I can tell you I was lost.
Now I found, and I want to sharethis truth with you.
Yeah. So yeah, that's definitely where
the leadership role comes in andwhy I want to still be active
with Westwood, because it's clear God's working a revival
with this. And we know that the work, the
(36:29):
harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
And yeah, absolutely, that's howI'm desperate that I do want to
be a worker if that's what God wants for me.
Appointed We need more workers. Amen.
Yeah. So and what are your plans going
forward? Like, what are you?
What are you passionate about? Well, that's the hard.
Question Oh yeah, because I meanto be honest, I was debating on
(36:51):
ministry for a while because I've.
I was unemployed for like this past month because I quit my job
because I basically had to choose between getting my head
rolled or taking it off myself. So I I chose the latter.
Yeah. That little gun.
Yeah. Getting fired.
Yeah. I, I like to use some analogies
that are a little, a little bit on the intense side, but no.
(37:13):
So I basically quit my job because I realized it wasn't
going to be going anywhere. I wasn't having any high
potential growth. So my reason for staying there
wasn't there. So I left and during that month
of the search and it was definitely a lot of prayer
going, God, I mean, on active with Westwood, I want to get an
apartment where I'm closer here to where I can just come over
(37:33):
quickly. It'd be no issue.
And yeah, there was an opportunity that popped up.
I have looked into it. And then this job just came up
where I'll be starting next week.
Oh, that's awesome. Oh yes, I praise God.
I'm so thankful for that and definitely thankful for so many
prayers that it came through Westwood.
Friends from a family, family, of course.
(37:55):
But yeah, that it's kind of where I'm I'm at right now.
Thankfully, this job allows me to fit in my schedule that I can
be at everything that I'm involved with already at
Westwood. And yeah, we'll just see what
God wants for me because it's the question I've had to ask
myself. I was like, oh, is this going to
be like a pole thing where I'm just doing my thing for 40 years
(38:16):
or so and then all of a sudden now it's ministry time.
Just really want traveling around the globe.
Yeah. So we'll see what God has for
me. But and it was so humbling.
I was watching a video today. There was like and I forgot the
scripture, but it all this paraphrase you who will say I
will go and live in this city for a year and play on this.
(38:39):
Who are you to boast of these plans when you can't even think
of what tomorrow will bring, butyou don't know what it is.
You are a dust that comes in andis blown away swiftly after.
I'm like, wow, yeah. So I was like, OK, well God, you
just lead me through today and we'll get to tomorrow, I
suppose. Yeah.
And and the verse I like to think of a lot of whenever I'm
(39:01):
just kind of thinking about those things is, you know, don't
don't worry about what tomorrow brings.
Tomorrow worry about itself. Yeah.
And then also like, why? Why are you so worried?
Like, look at the Ravens. The Lord feeds and and waters
the Ravens and gives them clothes and gives them a place
to stay. And aren't you more important
than yes, Yeah. So yeah, that's awesome.
(39:23):
You're leaving the door open forGod to.
It's better in his hands than mine, that's for sure.
Absolutely. Yep.
Well, is there anything else youwanted to touch on?
I guess just for you guys, like what's the number one thing you
think you've grown in ever sincelike truly walking with Christ?
Is there anything recently? That was it.
(39:43):
Yeah, that's a loaded question. I I really came to Christ
February of 2024. OK.
Yeah, I thought I was a Christian since like 6th grade
when I thought Christian led me to Christ, actually, Yeah.
And and then in February, I kindof had a moment of like, you
(40:10):
know, that afraid that. That quote that no one knows, no
one knows whose support it is, but that sin will make you stay
longer than you want to stay, make you pay more than you want
to pay someone else. That that kind of happened to
me. I was living in some pretty deep
(40:30):
sexual sin and just a lot of struggles with lust.
And it wasn't even I, I wasn't even worried about it.
I didn't feel guilty. I I just wanted what Gunner
wanted, you know, and, and then and then that night I did, I was
kind of, I'd say, I always say like, oh, I was talked into
(40:51):
doing it. But but I mean, you know, I
could have just walked away. I had my car was there.
I could have gotten my car and left, But I, I let myself get
talked into doing something and,and afterwards I just felt
really horrible. And I like I was, I just felt
(41:12):
totally lost and I was driving around the city and I didn't
know what to do. And I was just kind of running
through. I was like, OK, well, I could, I
could just, you know, I could kill myself And but I didn't
want to do that 'cause it 'causethen I like, totally would
screw. Up my family Oh yeah, I.
(41:32):
Was like, no, no, I like, I didn't even think about that for
very long. I was like, no, I can't do that.
And and thank God that I that I didn't and and I was like, why?
I could just go home, go to sleep, not worry about it in the
morning. I'll I'll be fine.
I won't feel bad anymore. And but then I and I just
(41:53):
couldn't shake this kind of the weight I was feeling.
And and so I, I called my pastorDerek hidden and and I went over
to his house and and I just toldhim everything.
I confessed to him like years ofsin and relationship addiction
(42:13):
to pornography and sex addiction.
And, and so, and afterwards he told me like, he phrased it like
you need to recommit your life to Christ, like you need to turn
from these things and go back toChrist.
And so I, I prayed and I was like, OK, God, I, I want to
(42:35):
follow you again. I want to, I want you to be Lord
of my life. I don't want to be on the throne
of my life anymore. So I totally messed it up.
Don't want me do that again. And but, and so after that,
that's the night I became a Christian.
And I didn't even realize it until maybe two or three months
ago. I, someone at church got
(42:58):
baptized and I was just kind of it just kind of the Lord put it
on my heart that I needed to be baptized again.
And so I prayed about it for a long time and I talked to a lot
of people, people that I knew before February 24, and then
people who I still know afterwards.
(43:18):
And, and eventually I came to the conclusion that I that that
was when I really became a Christian.
And I don't fully understand it because before that night, I
believed. Like I don't think I believed
any less, but I didn't. I had it surrendered.
(43:38):
I don't know. Well, to be honest, Gunner, me
and my disciple, Disciple Hayden, we literally just went
over this. In Hebrews, it talks about
enlight those who are enlightened.
And so with that enlightened, itdoesn't mean those who are
saved. Like if I'm around here, if I'm
around fire enough, I'm going toget heated up, correct?
Is it me I'm on fire? No, no.
(44:00):
So just because I'm around fire does not mean I'm going to
become fire. I need to truly be engulfed in
it. And so that's the thing that
like really took me back becausethe like what you just said,
your pastor said that you need to recommit your life back to
Christ. I'd say it was rather you're
truly committing like this is the time where it's like
(44:21):
gunner's done. This is like the true of
surrender. Yeah, I realized afterwards that
I wasn't recommitting. I was.
That was when I actually committed, Yeah.
And but, yeah, to answer your question, since then, man, the
biggest thing that's changed in my life is, is just my battle
against pornography addiction and has gotten like I've had
(44:43):
victory and, and now it's been really hard.
And I'm and I had AI had there was about a week of just doing
really, I just kind of relapsed like even more than just like
(45:04):
going back to pornography. But.
And I, yeah, I got to talking with some people I used to know
and that came back to buy me bigtime.
And yeah, that was, I'm still kind of having to deal with
that. But.
And I mean, I deserved it too. But.
But my point was like the it's not, I'm not perfect and it's
(45:28):
not gone completely, but, but I've had victory for a while now
and and that's some that that got some working on me.
It that's the biggest thing for sure.
So I just praise the Lord that I'm that I'm not as bad as I was
then and that I've been able to,to be pornography free for I
(45:52):
wish I could say like a year or like 3 months or something like
that. But yeah, like a month.
Praise God, dude. No, I mean, that's the thing.
It's still a battle for me. Now I'm like it.
Yeah, it is. And like that, that is the
heavily spiritual warfare. Like I I feel like the.
I can tell you and I pray that this isn't the case.
(46:12):
And I was talking to my buddy about this the other day.
But you know how Paul refers to a thorn in his flesh that I've
prayed 3 times, but you would not take this away from me.
Yeah, some people debate that itwas lost.
That was in his heart. And yeah, I mean, I, I pray that
that's not the case for me when it comes to this battle because
I mean, I want to be done with it.
I, I hope that it's not a thing that's being used to humble me
(46:35):
because I can tell you it's done.
So, yeah, I have been humbled extremely by this.
And I mean, I, it's been made clear, I can't do this alone.
I need God to have the entire authority over me.
So I mean, I'll definitely be praying for you in that regard,
man. I thank you.
Yeah, of course, bro. I'll prepare for you.
Sure. I need it.
Yeah, I, since I started fighting it, there's been a lot
(46:57):
of, I went to Nashville and got some professional therapy done
and, and I've read books and I, I talked to a lot of people and
a few other things. Nothing has helped me more than
this book right here. I saw your reading.
Yeah, they're finally free. Finally Free by Heath Lambert
and I think every guy should read this even if they don't
(47:20):
struggle with pornography addiction.
I've never met a guy who hasn't struggled to us.
Every guy should read this because even if you don't
struggle with it, you can help. This is amazing to help because
it is so practical and it is like I'll just read you the the
chapters. It's using sorrow to fight
(47:40):
pornography, using accountability, using radical
measures, using confession, using your spouse or your
singleness, using humility, using gratitude, using a dynamic
relationship with Jesus and using grince.
It's just super, super, super practical and the foreword by
Joshua Harris. I've no idea who that is, but
the forward he was talking. He was just kind of hyping up
(48:02):
the book. Right, man, He gave this analogy
of you have a beautiful house and your house is spotless.
It's perfect except there's a weed growing in the corner of of
your living room and the weeds small at first.
So you put a rug over it and youdon't worry about it.
And but over time, the weed grows and grows and grows and
(48:24):
grows until it's taken over the entire living room because you
kept just not worrying about it and you didn't deal with it was
false. So now it's a huge problem and
you're trying to attack it with with like safety scissors and
and toothpicks. Yeah, it's like you're, you're
not going to do anything he says.
And this book gives you like a blowtorch and a chainsaw.
Take take care of the weed. So this this book is, I mean,
(48:48):
aside from the grace of God, this book has been the best
thing that's helped me. And I'm not, I'm not.
I'm like on the last chapter, but or as kids.
Yeah, if you're, I mean any. I think every guy should read
this book. It's finally free by Heath
Lambert. It's a great book.
It's not long. It's a short book.
(49:11):
Please read it. I do.
No, I actually did did read through part of that.
Yeah, no, I'm something talking to.
Oh, OK. Radio.
Yes, yeah, read it. Should read it.
Yeah, yeah. Awesome Ogana, thanks for having
me. Yeah, absolutely.
I'll press out. Please.
Yeah. God, thank you for this
beautiful day. Lord, thank you for this
(49:33):
opportunity to talk with Brian. I got he, he's doing some great
things here at Westwood. And thank you for the impact
he's had on me and so many otherguys.
And, and God, I pray that you place a hedge of protection
around him or you'll protect himand his family and his friends
from the schemes of the evil. And Lord and God, I pray that I
(49:59):
just lay this podcast down at your feet.
I wanted it to honor you, God. And if it doesn't, Lord, let me
know. And I just pray that you will
use this show to bring yourself glory.
I, I don't want any glory from this.
I want you to get all the glory from it.
And, and God, I pray that that you'll use this show to, to help
someone out today. They're hearing it.
(50:21):
And the Lord thank you for your Son Jesus and that he died for
us. Lord, thank you for your love,
your mercy, and thank you that your that your grace is new
every morning, Lord and Christ and I pray every Christ and I
pray, Amen.
All right, I'm here today with Brian Sievers.
And before we get started, just a quick programming note.
I'm going out of town for about 6 months.
This this starting in a couple weeks here and I won't be doing
any recording while I'm gone. So the I have about 4 episodes
(00:22):
pre recorded and then the show will pick back up in around
April. All right, so but I know you and
we're friends. But as I was getting ready for
the interview, I realized I don't really know all that much
about you, so I'm just going to let you introduce yourself.
Who are you and what are you doing with your life?
(00:43):
Oh, Gunner, I hate to hear you're going to go six months
without being able to upload, but I'm sure you'll have people
with this ready to wait for you.So.
But no, I'm Brian Severs and yeah, I'm kind of just going
briefly into who I am originallyfrom Vincennes IN grew up there
very much sticker Christian likeand and they're just kind of
(01:07):
went all the way through my first 18 years of life just
saying, Oh yeah, Christ died formy sons.
That was about it. But it wasn't until actually
graduating high school that I actually began a personal
relationship with Christ, which just looked like reading the
word, going to church, actually wanting A to take something from
it, not just going in and expecting supernatural
(01:27):
occurrences. And then of course, prayer.
So those three, those three things of course, got me a great
foundation level. Just, I was able to grow closer
with Christ. But the same point, I wasn't as
plugged in as what scripturally calls us to do.
And that's whenever I transferred from Vincent's
University to USI, where I am now.
(01:48):
Of course, I've graduated, so I know the allegations are pretty
bad or in some way. But now I originally got plugged
in at USI slash Westwood around my at the end of my junior year
of college and it's been incredible ever since.
I finished up my time at USI at Westwood and since then I've
(02:10):
stuck around. I am now a year and a half
graduated and I still involved. So yeah, we'll see however long
the Lord wants to use me here, but I'm just going in much
deeper with my testimony now that we've kind of know where
I'm at. Really just the basic
hypocritical Christian Christ was my Savior and not my Lord.
(02:31):
So it was really just the cheap grace of thanks, Jesus.
I'm glad that you died for me. And I realized that since I sent
It's bad, but you've already paid for it, so it's OK, right?
Yeah. And so then from there, I just
kept going on and on. Eventually it led to me becoming
overweight and with that, a lot of hatred towards myself.
(02:54):
And then that obviously overflowed to the people around
me. So friends, even my own mother,
which her and my father got divorced whenever I was just
starting high school. And I mean, I have a great
relationship with both my parents, but my mother, she was
definitely the one who was the most active with wanting me to
(03:14):
be involved with my faith that she was constant being a beacon
for Christ. And that's what sucks even more
realizing that I just gave her nothing but hatred.
And to be honest, it was the perfect reflection of how I
could feel Christ was for us just whenever he was on earth
and even just now constantly reaching out but being rejected
(03:35):
and praise God, I was encountered and now for
generation effective callings come upon me, which whole nother
conversation of that. But yeah, since then there
there's of course still sin lostlawfulness, pridefulness, just
having to constantly watch that.But that's definitely a more
(03:56):
slimmed version. But really, those are the sins I
start with upon graduating high school, got deeper in the faith,
lost my weight. Actually, no flip for that.
I lost my weight because I thought what I'm missing is a
girlfriend. So I lost the weight.
Surprise, surprise, a guy who has like 0 good quality is about
(04:16):
himself other than his body is probably not going to get a
decent woman. So that's whenever I was like,
OK, well I need to look deeper into myself.
And that's whenever I got plugged in the church, like
where we talked about before. And yeah, that's really where
I'm at now. God saved me.
That's awesome, man. Do you remember a specific
(04:38):
moment where you're like, this is this is the moment where I
became a Christian and I've walked since then?
Or is it just kind of like a progression?
So I can't really recall an exact moment where I was like,
OK, I'm going to take this seriously.
The only thing that I do remember, which was actually
like a beginning point for me was I told myself I want to read
the Bible cover to cover. Like that was when I first
(05:00):
started like actually getting deeper with my faith, reading
the Word, going to church, genuinely listening and praying.
So I think that was right aroundDecember, may have been shortly
before Christmas, because it waswhile I was on break.
And yeah, I started Genesis, start going through there.
And I actually just finished theBible cover to cover.
I started, Oh my goodness. May have been my freshman year
(05:24):
in college, but it was December and I officially completed maybe
3 weeks ago. Oh wow.
Yeah, so it was a chapter a day,Psalms.
Obviously I did a couple more and I did a couple chapters here
and there, but yeah, that was the rate that I was gone.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Yeah, chapter. Reading the whole Bible was hard
(05:46):
and there's so many different ways to do it, but I like one
time I tried doing the like Bible in a year thing.
It's a lot of reading. It's too much reading.
I knew a girl who read who read the entire Bible in 40 days.
I know. She must not have done much
else. Yeah, she didn't.
She didn't have. There was like a like between
(06:07):
semesters or something. She's like, well, I don't really
have anything to do. I guess I'll read the whole
Bible. That's crazy.
Like not just read like it's herbio's like full of annotations
and bunch of foes and yeah, kinds of stuff.
Yeah. Wild.
Yeah. So, so you, you graduated, but
(06:28):
you're, you're still involved inthe, the, the student ministry
here at Westwood Church and, andat USI.
But it like as a student leader,right.
Well, not a student leader, a leader.
Oh. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy here.
And the lack of student in that phrase now, yeah, it's like I
said, Westwood is just been incredible.
Like actually seeing a church that I really feel as though is
(06:50):
exact what scripture called it to be, that it is a fellowship
of believers that are actually sharpening one another,
challenging. And with that discipleship,
these gatherings that we have every Tuesday night, I mean, and
plus especially being around an elder such as Jeff Knight every
Saturday morning. It's just you are what you're
(07:13):
around. And obviously with that, if you
seek it, I'm sorry, you're probably going to find it.
And frankly, that's what Westwood's provided for me,
thankfully. Yeah.
Well, my next question was goingto be like, how does that, that
church look like? Like the church that's described
in the Bible? But then you just answer my
question. It's not going to come up with
something else. I had some.
(07:34):
Oh, yeah. What?
What made you want to want to stick around to be a leader?
Like I said man, like upon coming to USI, my walk with
Christ just exploded. Like as we went over like in the
last question, it was truly seeing that fellowship get to a
much deeper level. And with I was like, man, this
(07:54):
is awesome. And then because I was kind of
like, OK, yeah, this is awesome.I like to come to Tuesday nights
and maybe I have a Bible study here and there.
Once I went to Orlando Project, which I don't know if Lee or
anybody else has talked to you about.
I talked to, I think I've had a couple of people talk about it
on the show. OK.
(08:15):
So that that would be Daniel, Cecil and Lee we might have
talked about. It he may have briefly touched
on it, 'cause I don't, I don't think he ever went to Orlando
project, but he did go another project, yeah, which was really
cool. I definitely talked to Daniel,
but I mean he hasn't been like like tires or something.
(08:36):
Like that? Oh, Dad.
Yeah, so he went, I mean, he's he's grown, he's got a wife and
kids and family, but OK, I'd sayhe went whenever he was our age
and then a little bit after thattoo.
So. But yeah, yeah, if you want to
talk about. Absolutely, yeah.
So it wasn't until where I went to Orlando Project and it to be
(08:58):
honest, it wasn't anything that truly shook me to my core.
I know there was a lot of peoplethat went there as freshmen,
sophomores, and they were totally blown away with the
level of commitment and just growth that they had there.
But to be honest, what was the best thing for me was just being
around that fellowship for two months straight, and most of
all, the evangelism, going out, talking with people, because I
(09:20):
was doing that USI. And to be honest, it was easy.
I was on home turf, right? Yeah.
There wasn't too much risk. It's like, oh, worst case, I
just see the guy and it's awkward.
But actually going up to random people at Disney, Universal, or
even if we're just in a line at one of the rides and talking to
somebody about Jesus, Yeah, the aggression can pop up pretty
(09:41):
quickly. Excuse me?
See, for me, whenever I'm tryingto evangelize at the opposite
problem, like it's easier for meif I don't know these people,
I'll probably never see them again.
But but then if I'm on home turf, I'm like, I'm going to
have to see these guys like for the next semester at least.
And and so that's when it that'swhen I get cold feet.
(10:04):
But if you, I mean, if you want to touch on that like just kind
of what that evangelism looked like I just on the ground.
Well and 1st off I was going to say I entirely agree when it
comes to like my family, my friends as we.
Yeah, same list. Oh, yeah, Because it's hard to
really walk that line of showingthat you love.
But the same point if you proclaim to be a Christian and
(10:24):
you're not walking. And my grandmother, she had an
incredible saying. I never got to talk with her,
but my mom loves it. And it's, I'm not a judge, but
I'm a good fruit inspector. And I was like, that's funny.
I really like that. But that's the hard line to walk
when it comes to those personal relationships.
But when it comes to your question of boots, Boots on the
ground with Orlando Projects Evangelism, that was your
(10:46):
question, right? So we would just go out every
Tuesday night, go talk with people.
The first conversation I ever had was insane.
I was desperate to have like a conversation with anybody.
And I kept looking for stragglers.
I felt like I was I was a lion on the prowl like trying to find
this wandering gazelle and thankfully God Jimmy just open
(11:08):
open my eyes to this one guy walking by himself earbuds and I
just walked straight up to him as he's walking towards me go to
shake his hands like what's going on brother I'm Brian and
he takes his earpods eye and promptly discos.
Dude what the like that and I turn around my guys that are
with me, which are some like hefty dudes and they're like
(11:30):
right behind me and I was like this looks like we're going to
jump him or something I'm. Like.
So I tell them I was like, hey, scram, all right, I've got this.
And then we go sit down. We end up having an incredible
conversation, even to the point where he shares like, dude, to
be honest, like, I thought you were going to sell me drugs at
first. But when we get into his actual
(11:52):
testimony, one story that he hadjust a week prior, he was
working at this hotel and he would kind of take the towels in
between these areas. And during that time, there
would be a Raven slash crow thatwould follow him.
And he's looked as like, oh, youknow, it's a sign of death.
And I felt as though like, deathwas just watching me.
And I was like, dude, that sucks.
(12:12):
And he's like, yeah, I went to church this past weekend and
came back this this week. And then the crow was still
following me. It will then it perched up here.
Then I think it was just AI wantto say dove, but there's no way
it's a dove. He may just set a bird, but it
was. Licensed in Florida.
Yeah, in Florida. And I think it might have been a
(12:33):
white bird or something that he said.
But he came and started fightingwith the crow and the crow flew
off and it stayed there on the on the power line where they
where they fought. Yeah.
So that's awesome. It was like a haiku or
something. So that was a really awesome
encounter. But most of all, when it comes
to the conversation, just going up talking to people, to be
(12:56):
honest, the leaders at Orlando, they would give you these
prompts and everything. I just didn't really like to use
them. I'd like to just go up, be real.
If you like. Hey, like what you got going on
tonight. That's cool.
What are you living for? Like just getting straight to
the point because if he just do like a calculated thing, which,
yeah, I have to constantly watchthat.
(13:17):
I don't get into a sales mode where it's like go through these
steps, go through this process, but you're truly trying to make
it a conversation that they're part of.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, what was I going to say?
That story is crazy. Oh yeah, that's wild.
(13:41):
And this happens every time. There's always, always one point
where I forget what I was going to say.
But but with the and and when was this when you're at the
Orlando project? So this was about this was last
year's project because this pastlike couple months, this is
where these guys went. But I, I went my last year of
(14:02):
college where I graduated, I went in, I was practically a
senior, but I was basically an adult.
And so I follow all these like 20 year, 20 year olds, 19 year
olds. And I was 22 at the time.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
So now it was an incredible timebe able to lift some dudes up.
And also just hear from guys that have been.
That's so much longer. Yeah.
(14:24):
Yeah, there it goes again. I had some right there.
Oh yeah. What were you able to like, take
some things from the Orlando project and and bring it back
home? Like what did that look like
practically? Most definitely a prayer, like a
prayer life, especially when it came to I think the axe model.
I I'm probably going to slaughter this, but the thing
(14:45):
that I've remembered the most about it was adoration and I was
truly praising God. As soon as you like do start
praying at anything and it's helped me just getting into a
routine, which again, we have towatch the lines of it's not
going to become ritualistic. It's like, OK, in the morning.
I thank God for this, this, thisis this and I'm so thankful for
him, but it's truly adoring and glorifying him.
(15:08):
So the axe small I think, was adoration, Confession.
Yes, exactly. Confession, Thanksgiving, and
then supplication. And the supplication?
That's like asking for things. Exactly.
And dude, thank you so much for tagging in for the C part cause
yeah I totally forgot. I don't think I've learned about
(15:29):
Acts since like third grade, butI guess it just stuck.
That was a core memory for you. Yeah, I'm glad you're able to
tag in, but that was definitely the thing that seemed most an
amp. And other than that, it was
great. Like I said, there were some
people that just totally got recharged.
Like I saw one guy who was just kind of agnostic, who he was
(15:52):
willing to accept anything. He ended up at the end of like
the final evangelism night we had.
He never said anything whenever they'd go out because we'd have
a recap night where after we evangelized, we'd come back,
tell stories of what all has happened.
Well, this guy comes back the last night and he goes, oh, I
mean, First off, guys, I mean, I, I like believe in Christ.
(16:14):
I'm truly, truly not again in mylife.
But I went to a crystal shop. He was spreading the gospel in a
crystal shop and I was like, Oh my gosh, TJ, you went to the
belly of the beast. You're not just like.
And that's the perspective I've had to address it in myself as
we need to go from prisoner to anime when it comes to the evil
(16:35):
one, that we're no longer a partof that, but that we are
constantly looking to go againstthe world.
Yeah, like a like constant battle.
Oh yeah, like in there was a lecture I sat in on a few weeks
ago at summon and and it was about spiritual warfare.
I wanted one of the you've ever heard of Lucas Miles?
(16:59):
No, I have. It works for Charlie Kirk.
He does a lot of his like Christian, I don't know stuff.
And I'm pretty sure Lucas Miles is the one who was talking about
this, but he said he was going through the armor of God, right.
And yes, he read us the passage and says it says put on the full
armor of God, but it doesn't sayanywhere about like taking it
off before you go to sleep, anything like that.
(17:21):
And he's so there's the hour of God should never come off like
this is A and you'll hear peoplesay like every morning, put the
armor of God on. And he wasn't like picking at
that, but he was just trying to make it a point like you don't
don't ever you shouldn't have toput it on again.
It should always be on and just kind of like that constant
battle against the evil 1 like you're saying, like not we're no
(17:44):
longer a prisoner to evil one, but that doesn't mean we're just
going to get up and walk away from him like we should.
But in addition to that, we should also be actively fighting
him because there's other people, other children of God
who are captured, who are so prisoners to the evil.
Exact. The analogy I always give to
people whenever I do evangelize and it gets to that awkward
(18:05):
point where dude, why are you talking to me?
It's like, well look, let's justput this in analogy.
Say you and me are both slaves. I somehow found a key that I had
no way of finding. There was nothing I could ever
do to get this. I get this key on lock.
Should I just run away? Right.
Like that, that would be so scummy.
That's that's fair. And it's like, yeah, brothers.
So I'm going to spam this good news.
(18:28):
Yeah, it's like something that Ithink Lee said.
I'm going to feel bad if it ended up being you who said
this. But in the small group last
year, he was talking about something he heard someone else
say. But like if you're walking down
the street with a friend who's an unbeliever and you're a
believer and the rapture happensand and you get to go to heaven
(18:52):
and they go to hell, and then they look at you and they're
like, why do you want to tell them?
Yeah, why are you telling? Me, that's straight from Cliff
Connectly, because I remember I was already talking about that
because yeah, that that's something that's really helped
out with my urgency in regards of actually like spreading the
gospel, because the last thing Iwant is anyone who I'm truly
close with to. And I don't think that that will
(19:14):
be the case. But still, it is good to fuel to
throw on the fire of say you arewalking past these people
whenever we are going to the throne of judgement, right?
They're like, you didn't tell me.
It's like, oh sorry dude, didn'twant to be a Jesus freak, right?
Yeah, and I mean, that's one of those things that really, like
(19:35):
kind of cuts deep. You know, it's like, oh man, I
need to maybe out there evangelizing.
And the same Brian, I mean, I I really just looked as though
like, you know, everybody shouldgo on evangelize, like, come on,
that's what we should do. I still think that if you feel
any kind of calling, go out and do it.
(19:56):
And I'd love if I see every single person out there doing
it. But the same point it also it
came out because while I was a opie of this one girl, she said
it and I was like, is this correct doctrine?
Like I'm not rare, she talked about.
Like gifts. And she's like Bryan Jenner,
like I think evangelism may be agift from God for you.
(20:17):
And I was like, I mean, thank you.
Like, I really appreciate that. But.
But I mean, looking through the gifts, I mean, if that is the
case, praise God. I'm so thankful.
But if not, still praise God. And yeah, I mean, whatever we
can be a part of because it alsogoes to the body of Christ.
Yeah. If I got to be a hand, for
somebody to be an arm or somebody to be a foot and so on,
(20:40):
like we'd I miss. I constantly have to humble
myself to make sure I don't become the Super Christian, the
right of the multi or the pocket.
Oh my goodness. What?
The multi tool Christian? Yeah, that's what it was.
Yeah. I want to make sure that I do
stay humble in that regard, thatI am willing to come to my
brothers and sisters and get inside from them.
Just check that out. We had a sermon at my church
(21:04):
this past Sunday. Not about the spiritual gifts.
There's something about that. Yeah, just kind of talking about
like, just even if your spiritual gift isn't flashy,
it's still needed. Like, just like you were talking
(21:25):
about with the the body of the the church, like being, being,
being the feet might not be veryflashy.
Yeah. Without the feet, where you
going to go? We can't move.
Yeah. Yeah.
And me and Christian were talking about this this morning,
too. Yeah.
And then they were talking aboutlike, there is no, there's no
(21:45):
exhaustive list of this spiritual gift in the Scripture.
Like there's a bunch that's and and again, that's not like the
Bible didn't say that, but that's what my pastor was
teaching on Sunday and said anything that builds up the body
is, is a gift. And you can have talents that
aren't spiritual gifts, too. He was saying, like, you can
(22:08):
have a talent for teaching, but if you're teaching people how to
do drugs, you're not. That's not a spiritual gift.
It's not until you're teaching people about Jesus or about
things that that Jesus would approve of when it becomes a
spiritual gift. Yeah.
That's fun, I like that. So, yeah, spiritual gifts is, is
(22:31):
definitely something that I, I've kind of been interested in
past year or so. I just kind of taken some
interest in me and Jameis talkedabout that on the show.
That was like the second episodeof a long time ago.
Yeah, 'cause we're just kind of talking about like, well, what
about these foundational gifts, 'cause I had heard a few
(22:54):
different points of view on that, like some gifts that were
given to the early church but then not given to anyone else
anymore. And that's what I was taught is
that that's how it is, like prophecy and speaking in touch
with the two big ones. And then James was telling me
like, oh, well, he's like, well,that can't be true because I
(23:16):
know people at our church who can do both those things.
I was like. What speak tongues?
Yeah, that's what he said. So when you say that, are you
still saying like gibberish or are you saying different
languages? I didn't ask.
He wasn't it. It didn't feel like it didn't
feel. Appropriate.
No, I totally. I totally understand.
Yeah. It, it was funny a a second ago,
(23:36):
I was about to say I was like, wait, did I say this?
And then I remember that it's recorded.
Yeah, out there. I was like, Oh yeah.
I said, but yeah, I mean, he andhe didn't tell me who, but what
he was telling me is like these,these are still things that that
are still around. They're just not as I mean,
cause part of it, part of being having these spiritual gifts.
(23:58):
You're not, you don't want to bebraggadocious about it.
I don't, I really don't fully understand it and I don't know
but I just thought that was. Oh yeah, and.
That that conversation got me kind of started on that path of
being interested. Yeah.
And just like with the regards of the tongues in the end, if
that's the case of awesome, but the same point, if we look at
(24:19):
like the context of Acts, like whenever it is Pentecost,
whenever the Spirit came down and they began speaking in
tongues, it wasn't these guys who came along and they're like,
oh, I speak gibberish. These guys are speaking my
gibberish. They're going, no, these guys
are speaking a language. Then I know these Hebrews should
not be speaking something from like over in Egypt or the other
(24:40):
surrounding areas. That's what it really, that's
kind of where I get it from. Tong.
So at the same point, I used to think that same thing, what
you're talking about where the early church had certain gifts
and now we don't have them prophesying.
That's when I definitely to lookat more into I yeah, I haven't
looked anything on that. But when it comes to the
interpreter and you being the one who's able to speak in
(25:03):
tongues, quote, UN quote, then yeah, I I feel as though that
really is just understanding languages.
Yeah, that's how I interpret it too.
The prophecy, Really. The prophecy one, What's it
called? That one?
That one interests me. Oh, yeah.
It's really, I don't know, because it also just makes me
think for either one of them, kind of like, well, is it a lack
(25:26):
of faith that I am that I have that I find it hard to believe
that those two things are, are around in like around me.
And maybe I know people who who can do those things.
And because I mean, God, look ateverything.
I think something about living in the time of history where we
are today. That makes sense.
(25:49):
Something about living today in 2000.
Yeah, this, this era where everything is like, very like
science heavy and like, got to see it, to believe it.
And there's a lot of like, doubtand like fraud.
What's it called? Like there's a lot of fake stuff
(26:09):
out there. I feel like sometimes it's hard
for us. It like, it's easy for us to be
like, oh, yeah. There's like you got like signs
and wonders and angels and demons and and prophecy and
speaking in tongues and miraclesand all that happened 2000 years
ago. That doesn't happen anymore, but
it does. And I mean, at least some of
(26:29):
that stuff I know happened. And so, yeah, I mean, take one
mission trip to to Haiti or, or the Dr. or something like that.
You're going to believe in angels and demons.
Real play. Oh, my goodness.
Yeah. Well, and I saw this one thing.
There was a pastor who was discussing with another pastor.
(26:50):
It was from, I think I believe there's an African pastor who's
speaking to an American pastor and the American pastor, like, I
feel for you. The fact that you have to still
combat, like, blatant demonism and things like that.
And African pastor came back. He's like, I want to be honest.
I mean, but yours are crafty. Yeah.
The fact that I know voodoo is evil, all these things that are
blatant demons. Awesome.
(27:12):
But with yours, like this stuff is ingrained in societies, yeah.
Absolute yeah, I could talk about that for a while and.
And something else, something else that, that, that I've heard
before about that is like the demons are equally pleased with
people who don't believe in themat all and people who worship
(27:34):
them. And, and just like with anything
else, with anything, there's, there's trenches where you can,
you can go too far one way and now you've gotten into a fallacy
and you can go too far the otherway.
And, and both going too far. I mean, but like the example
(27:56):
here is like you should know that angels and demons are real,
but not, or you should know thatdemons are real and, and be on
guard, though don't don't like don't mess with them.
I mean, they don't don't be infatuated by the idea of yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Just helps you really be on guard knowing that.
(28:20):
And and that's another thing that's, I won't say comforting,
but the same point it puts into perspective how awesome our God
is. The fact that by friends of this
world is not omniscient. He is not able to be omnipresent
all around the area. He goes from place to place like
a dude without an airplane ticket.
So to know that this so-called Prince is that limited, then,
(28:44):
yeah. I mean, we have to be aware of
that, this evil that's going on,whether it's through our own,
our own wills that's being influenced by sin or it is
demons taking part of it. We just have to be on guard of
that to be ready to give that answer.
And like, what you were talking about, the gifts casting out
demons, that's another thing I'dhave to look into, see if that
is present. But the same vibe, I mean, I can
(29:06):
tell you it gets me fired up like, yeah, so I can because
again, it is not us. It is only Christ alone that we
have the ability to do anything.And through Spirit, who's now
been dwelling, sanctifying us every day.
But I mean, it gets you fired upto know it's like, yeah, I can.
I can take on this world so longas you were with me, God.
(29:26):
Yeah, spiritual warfare is scary, but it's also something
that kind of like you're saying,like gets you fired up invarian
because we're in the harmony of God.
Oh yeah, that's the thing. We've, I don't know how it is
for you, but I mean, I have so many people in my life,
(29:48):
especially men, who I'm just pretty disappointed with when it
comes to them talking the talk of a Christian.
But when it comes to walking thewalk of, say, leading a family
or truly living this Christian life, that's exactly what Satan
wants. These people who are proclaiming
Christians, but then live in theways of the world.
(30:08):
So not only is it someone who's being either passive in their
faith, who is a true believer, or someone who's bringing about
a bad name for Christians, whichthen brings forth a bad name for
Christ. So yeah, I mean the I think that
having a firm knowledge of spiritual warfare and being
ready to confront it, that's what men need to be to be ready
to combat it at any time. Yeah, keep the arm of God on and
(30:33):
and the devil go after leaders, most of all men who like like
fathers and and then pastors andand just those who God have
called to lead the the enemy goes after them.
I mean really hard. That's why we need to, I mean,
(30:54):
the Bible calls us in, I think is Timothy to pray for your
pastors. No, Yeah, yeah.
Because I need it big time. I pray for everyone.
But of course, so it's, I mean, that's why you see all these
like these big time pastors blowup in spectacular fashion very
(31:17):
publicly. And it, and it, it hurts a lot
of people and, and, and people will be like, Oh yeah, I don't,
I had a bad experience with pastor or I, I went to church,
but then the pastor was caught cheating.
And, and I mean it, it does work, it take down the this
leader and then it hurts everyone else that they were
(31:40):
leading. And that's one thing that I, I'm
very thankful that Westwood, because I've never seen a pastor
prior be blatantly open with their weakness Before Westwood,
I was listening to Ben Russell. He was the pastor up here that
Sunday. And he just says, like, do not
have your faith in me. I didn't fall.
(32:01):
Yeah. And if that's something that I
feel disappointed with, like, whenever, like how you said, if
a pastor falls, then the church kind of dwindles.
Are we reading the same Bible? Because I'm sorry.
But as soon as you say, like, how well, my growth is really
dependent on this guy, Yeah. Then I'm sorry, brother.
You're not on the rock. You were on the sand.
(32:24):
Because we can drift here and there so quickly.
We need that foundation that is Christ alone.
And again, leaders, they're in that position and it sounds like
I'm, I love to be active with Westwood and with that leader
position. By no means a pastor or anything
like that, but it's the thing that I'm constantly keeping in
(32:45):
check because like I told you, Imean, I am struggling with sense
of loss, lawfulness. And with that, I mean, it really
humbles you because say someone comes up as like, man, I can't
believe he did that. I was like, well I'm sorry that
I gave the impression I'm perfect because I'm not.
I mean I'm a Sinner equally deserving of damnation.
The only thing that has changed that is that God intervened on
(33:08):
my life. Christ died for me and now
Spirit is working in me. And trust me, if I could die
right here and now and that Spirit could just take over this
body, sign me up, I'd love it. But sadly, we've got a tango
until the race is complete. Battle against the flesh.
What? Earlier.
Yeah. And all that.
(33:29):
It's not to say that pastors aren't good things to have very
important. That's why they're they're the
the enemy goes after them. Yeah.
It's that like life, we kind of just keep going back to it's
walking that line because again,if God's bless people with that
wisdom to where they are able toshepherd others, praise God.
(33:50):
Yeah, but the same point, the end.
I I love how the Scripture refers to us as sheep because we
are stupid. Yeah.
Like we, we are incapable. And with that, I mean, we just
need to be conscious. Is that though?
These are shepherds. I mean, look at David.
He was the competent shepherd. He was able to take down bears
and lions. But then once he got in the king
(34:13):
role, that's when things startedmoving downhill.
Yeah. And so we have.
Great Shepherd is so thankful for it.
But we need to be aware that we can't have faith in people.
We need to make sure it's alwaysroot in Christ.
And like you said, we are praying for everyone around us,
especially our leaders. Yeah.
Absolutely. Speaking of leaders smooth
transition, what is what is there like a specific part about
(34:41):
like not just sticking around Westwood for like to get the for
you to be LED, but also for you to be able to lead others?
What What about that do you enjoy?
To be honest, like the thing that I had to give for like a
little blurb for youth groups, so core Bentar Middle School and
high school team. The blurb that I had to really
(35:03):
get there is that in my first 18years, wife and especially like
that period between middle school to high school because I
was just done with church other than Sunday's.
Once I got out of middle school,I would just come every Sunday
with my mom and market off the checklist because it's what she
made me do right. But that time time frame in
(35:24):
middle school, and it's something I'm definitely going
to have to challenge myself on. But while I was in that time
frame, say in middle school, no one ever challenged me in my
faith. No one was there like, hey,
Brian, like you're proclaimed tobe a Christian.
But I mean, just like seeing your fruit, it's clear that it's
not. And so like what exactly?
(35:44):
Save someone? I'd never, I never had that.
And it's something that I am desperate for that if God
provides it, I mean, it will be such a blessing is that I do
want to be there to really bringup this next generation.
Yeah. And especially with Tuesday
nights, things like that. But I've see these guys who are
coming in, girls as well. They are just kind of living for
(36:05):
the world. And with that, it's kind of just
pleading with them going, look, I don't have everything figured
out, but I can tell you I was lost.
Now I found, and I want to sharethis truth with you.
Yeah. So yeah, that's definitely where
the leadership role comes in andwhy I want to still be active
with Westwood, because it's clear God's working a revival
with this. And we know that the work, the
(36:29):
harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
And yeah, absolutely, that's howI'm desperate that I do want to
be a worker if that's what God wants for me.
Appointed We need more workers. Amen.
Yeah. So and what are your plans going
forward? Like, what are you?
What are you passionate about? Well, that's the hard.
Question Oh yeah, because I meanto be honest, I was debating on
(36:51):
ministry for a while because I've.
I was unemployed for like this past month because I quit my job
because I basically had to choose between getting my head
rolled or taking it off myself. So I I chose the latter.
Yeah. That little gun.
Yeah. Getting fired.
Yeah. I, I like to use some analogies
that are a little, a little bit on the intense side, but no.
(37:13):
So I basically quit my job because I realized it wasn't
going to be going anywhere. I wasn't having any high
potential growth. So my reason for staying there
wasn't there. So I left and during that month
of the search and it was definitely a lot of prayer
going, God, I mean, on active with Westwood, I want to get an
apartment where I'm closer here to where I can just come over
(37:33):
quickly. It'd be no issue.
And yeah, there was an opportunity that popped up.
I have looked into it. And then this job just came up
where I'll be starting next week.
Oh, that's awesome. Oh yes, I praise God.
I'm so thankful for that and definitely thankful for so many
prayers that it came through Westwood.
Friends from a family, family, of course.
(37:55):
But yeah, that it's kind of where I'm I'm at right now.
Thankfully, this job allows me to fit in my schedule that I can
be at everything that I'm involved with already at
Westwood. And yeah, we'll just see what
God wants for me because it's the question I've had to ask
myself. I was like, oh, is this going to
be like a pole thing where I'm just doing my thing for 40 years
(38:16):
or so and then all of a sudden now it's ministry time.
Just really want traveling around the globe.
Yeah. So we'll see what God has for
me. But and it was so humbling.
I was watching a video today. There was like and I forgot the
scripture, but it all this paraphrase you who will say I
will go and live in this city for a year and play on this.
(38:39):
Who are you to boast of these plans when you can't even think
of what tomorrow will bring, butyou don't know what it is.
You are a dust that comes in andis blown away swiftly after.
I'm like, wow, yeah. So I was like, OK, well God, you
just lead me through today and we'll get to tomorrow, I
suppose. Yeah.
And and the verse I like to think of a lot of whenever I'm
(39:01):
just kind of thinking about those things is, you know, don't
don't worry about what tomorrow brings.
Tomorrow worry about itself. Yeah.
And then also like, why? Why are you so worried?
Like, look at the Ravens. The Lord feeds and and waters
the Ravens and gives them clothes and gives them a place
to stay. And aren't you more important
than yes, Yeah. So yeah, that's awesome.
(39:23):
You're leaving the door open forGod to.
It's better in his hands than mine, that's for sure.
Absolutely. Yep.
Well, is there anything else youwanted to touch on?
I guess just for you guys, like what's the number one thing you
think you've grown in ever sincelike truly walking with Christ?
Is there anything recently? That was it.
(39:43):
Yeah, that's a loaded question. I I really came to Christ
February of 2024. OK.
Yeah, I thought I was a Christian since like 6th grade
when I thought Christian led me to Christ, actually, Yeah.
And and then in February, I kindof had a moment of like, you
(40:10):
know, that afraid that. That quote that no one knows, no
one knows whose support it is, but that sin will make you stay
longer than you want to stay, make you pay more than you want
to pay someone else. That that kind of happened to
me. I was living in some pretty deep
(40:30):
sexual sin and just a lot of struggles with lust.
And it wasn't even I, I wasn't even worried about it.
I didn't feel guilty. I I just wanted what Gunner
wanted, you know, and, and then and then that night I did, I was
kind of, I'd say, I always say like, oh, I was talked into
(40:51):
doing it. But but I mean, you know, I
could have just walked away. I had my car was there.
I could have gotten my car and left, But I, I let myself get
talked into doing something and,and afterwards I just felt
really horrible. And I like I was, I just felt
(41:12):
totally lost and I was driving around the city and I didn't
know what to do. And I was just kind of running
through. I was like, OK, well, I could, I
could just, you know, I could kill myself And but I didn't
want to do that 'cause it 'causethen I like, totally would
screw. Up my family Oh yeah, I.
(41:32):
Was like, no, no, I like, I didn't even think about that for
very long. I was like, no, I can't do that.
And and thank God that I that I didn't and and I was like, why?
I could just go home, go to sleep, not worry about it in the
morning. I'll I'll be fine.
I won't feel bad anymore. And but then I and I just
(41:53):
couldn't shake this kind of the weight I was feeling.
And and so I, I called my pastorDerek hidden and and I went over
to his house and and I just toldhim everything.
I confessed to him like years ofsin and relationship addiction
(42:13):
to pornography and sex addiction.
And, and so, and afterwards he told me like, he phrased it like
you need to recommit your life to Christ, like you need to turn
from these things and go back toChrist.
And so I, I prayed and I was like, OK, God, I, I want to
(42:35):
follow you again. I want to, I want you to be Lord
of my life. I don't want to be on the throne
of my life anymore. So I totally messed it up.
Don't want me do that again. And but, and so after that,
that's the night I became a Christian.
And I didn't even realize it until maybe two or three months
ago. I, someone at church got
(42:58):
baptized and I was just kind of it just kind of the Lord put it
on my heart that I needed to be baptized again.
And so I prayed about it for a long time and I talked to a lot
of people, people that I knew before February 24, and then
people who I still know afterwards.
(43:18):
And, and eventually I came to the conclusion that I that that
was when I really became a Christian.
And I don't fully understand it because before that night, I
believed. Like I don't think I believed
any less, but I didn't. I had it surrendered.
(43:38):
I don't know. Well, to be honest, Gunner, me
and my disciple, Disciple Hayden, we literally just went
over this. In Hebrews, it talks about
enlight those who are enlightened.
And so with that enlightened, itdoesn't mean those who are
saved. Like if I'm around here, if I'm
around fire enough, I'm going toget heated up, correct?
Is it me I'm on fire? No, no.
(44:00):
So just because I'm around fire does not mean I'm going to
become fire. I need to truly be engulfed in
it. And so that's the thing that
like really took me back becausethe like what you just said,
your pastor said that you need to recommit your life back to
Christ. I'd say it was rather you're
truly committing like this is the time where it's like
(44:21):
gunner's done. This is like the true of
surrender. Yeah, I realized afterwards that
I wasn't recommitting. I was.
That was when I actually committed, Yeah.
And but, yeah, to answer your question, since then, man, the
biggest thing that's changed in my life is, is just my battle
against pornography addiction and has gotten like I've had
(44:43):
victory and, and now it's been really hard.
And I'm and I had AI had there was about a week of just doing
really, I just kind of relapsed like even more than just like
(45:04):
going back to pornography. But.
And I, yeah, I got to talking with some people I used to know
and that came back to buy me bigtime.
And yeah, that was, I'm still kind of having to deal with
that. But.
And I mean, I deserved it too. But.
But my point was like the it's not, I'm not perfect and it's
(45:28):
not gone completely, but, but I've had victory for a while now
and and that's some that that got some working on me.
It that's the biggest thing for sure.
So I just praise the Lord that I'm that I'm not as bad as I was
then and that I've been able to,to be pornography free for I
(45:52):
wish I could say like a year or like 3 months or something like
that. But yeah, like a month.
Praise God, dude. No, I mean, that's the thing.
It's still a battle for me. Now I'm like it.
Yeah, it is. And like that, that is the
heavily spiritual warfare. Like I I feel like the.
I can tell you and I pray that this isn't the case.
(46:12):
And I was talking to my buddy about this the other day.
But you know how Paul refers to a thorn in his flesh that I've
prayed 3 times, but you would not take this away from me.
Yeah, some people debate that itwas lost.
That was in his heart. And yeah, I mean, I, I pray that
that's not the case for me when it comes to this battle because
I mean, I want to be done with it.
I, I hope that it's not a thing that's being used to humble me
(46:35):
because I can tell you it's done.
So, yeah, I have been humbled extremely by this.
And I mean, I, it's been made clear, I can't do this alone.
I need God to have the entire authority over me.
So I mean, I'll definitely be praying for you in that regard,
man. I thank you.
Yeah, of course, bro. I'll prepare for you.
Sure. I need it.
Yeah, I, since I started fighting it, there's been a lot
(46:57):
of, I went to Nashville and got some professional therapy done
and, and I've read books and I, I talked to a lot of people and
a few other things. Nothing has helped me more than
this book right here. I saw your reading.
Yeah, they're finally free. Finally Free by Heath Lambert
and I think every guy should read this even if they don't
(47:20):
struggle with pornography addiction.
I've never met a guy who hasn't struggled to us.
Every guy should read this because even if you don't
struggle with it, you can help. This is amazing to help because
it is so practical and it is like I'll just read you the the
chapters. It's using sorrow to fight
(47:40):
pornography, using accountability, using radical
measures, using confession, using your spouse or your
singleness, using humility, using gratitude, using a dynamic
relationship with Jesus and using grince.
It's just super, super, super practical and the foreword by
Joshua Harris. I've no idea who that is, but
the forward he was talking. He was just kind of hyping up
(48:02):
the book. Right, man, He gave this analogy
of you have a beautiful house and your house is spotless.
It's perfect except there's a weed growing in the corner of of
your living room and the weeds small at first.
So you put a rug over it and youdon't worry about it.
And but over time, the weed grows and grows and grows and
(48:24):
grows until it's taken over the entire living room because you
kept just not worrying about it and you didn't deal with it was
false. So now it's a huge problem and
you're trying to attack it with with like safety scissors and
and toothpicks. Yeah, it's like you're, you're
not going to do anything he says.
And this book gives you like a blowtorch and a chainsaw.
Take take care of the weed. So this this book is, I mean,
(48:48):
aside from the grace of God, this book has been the best
thing that's helped me. And I'm not, I'm not.
I'm like on the last chapter, but or as kids.
Yeah, if you're, I mean any. I think every guy should read
this book. It's finally free by Heath
Lambert. It's a great book.
It's not long. It's a short book.
(49:11):
Please read it. I do.
No, I actually did did read through part of that.
Yeah, no, I'm something talking to.
Oh, OK. Radio.
Yes, yeah, read it. Should read it.
Yeah, yeah. Awesome Ogana, thanks for having
me. Yeah, absolutely.
I'll press out. Please.
Yeah. God, thank you for this
beautiful day. Lord, thank you for this
(49:33):
opportunity to talk with Brian. I got he, he's doing some great
things here at Westwood. And thank you for the impact
he's had on me and so many otherguys.
And, and God, I pray that you place a hedge of protection
around him or you'll protect himand his family and his friends
from the schemes of the evil. And Lord and God, I pray that I
(49:59):
just lay this podcast down at your feet.
I wanted it to honor you, God. And if it doesn't, Lord, let me
know. And I just pray that you will
use this show to bring yourself glory.
I, I don't want any glory from this.
I want you to get all the glory from it.
And, and God, I pray that that you'll use this show to, to help
someone out today. They're hearing it.
(50:21):
And the Lord thank you for your Son Jesus and that he died for
us. Lord, thank you for your love,
your mercy, and thank you that your that your grace is new
every morning, Lord and Christ and I pray every Christ and I
pray, Amen.
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