August 22, 2025 • 52 mins
What if all the scattered thoughts, half-finished projects, and “doom piles” weren’t flaws but part of how your brain is uniquely wired?
ADHD expert and author Meredith gets real about her late diagnosis and how finally understanding her brain turned years of frustration into self-acceptance.
She breaks down why ADHD minds think in “spider webs” instead of straight lines, how that can be a struggle in structured settings but a total superpower in creative ones, and why embracing chaos might just be the secret to thriving.
Whether you live with ADHD, love someone who does, or just want to get what makes these brains tick, this episode is packed with laughs, insights, and practical tips you can actually use.
Hit play and don’t forget to subscribe for more eye-opening conversations that make you see things differently.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Okay, so welcome to our podcast.
This is a little bit differenttoday because this podcast is a
spin off of our radio show, sothanks for coming.
(00:31):
Um, I don't really like toprepare for interviews and I
just kind of like the winginterviews and, uh, I was really
nervous about you coming onthis podcast because you're,
like, an adhd expert.
Is that like, what, like, what?
What do I call you?
Are you an adhd expert?
yeah, you can say expert I likethe word expert and and I'm
insecure because I've beendiagnosed before by, like
psychiatrists and stuff, but Ialso don't believe them, but I
(00:52):
don't know.
But you got this book right.
It all makes sense now.
So explain the book to me andthen I'd like to go over your
history and a bunch of otherthings sure, uh.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So, as you just said, the book book is called.
It All Makes Sense Now Embraceyour ADHD Brain to Live a
Creative and Colorful Life.
This book is a combination ofpersonal stories from my past
that relate to how ADHD hasshown up in my life.
I was not diagnosed with ADHDuntil I was almost 40.
(01:24):
So there were a lot of thingshappening that felt really
chaotic, that I didn't have agreat explanation for in my life
, and then I start each chapterwith an anecdote that leads into
an explanation of a symptom orsomething that's a common
challenge for people with ADHD,and then I kind of explain
what's actually happening in thebrain behind that challenge,
(01:46):
and then I finish it withstrategies so that people have
takeaways and a way to kind ofapply some of the information
they're learning to improvetheir life.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Is that why it's called it?
All Makes Sense?
Yes, Like you get diagnosed,you're like oh, my whole life
makes sense now.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Absolutely Like what.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
What's something that happened in your past that now
makes sense?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You know I could think back right now.
I have a 16 year old who justgot her driver's license a few
months ago and I was superanxious about that because of my
driving history.
So when I was a teenager I gotmy license within six months I
had been in three accidents.
I was pulled over one weekthree times in a row for not
(02:30):
having my lights on.
This is before automatic lightswere a thing, constantly locking
my keys in the car, and I justcould not figure out why this
wasn't happening to everybodyelse.
I remember my dad sitting medown after the third accident
which was me backing into aMcDonald's drive-thru line or
sign, which I don't even knowhow to explain how that happened
(02:52):
, and he just said, meredith,why does this keep happening?
You just have to pay attention.
And I was like I know, but Idon't know how, like I can't, so
I thought I was trying to payattention.
So that really made a lot moresense when I understood how
differently my brain is wired Acouple other things that stand
(03:14):
out.
I really struggled with losingthings, working memory.
So I would find, like thecoffee pot in the fridge, I
would find, like my keys in themost random place and you know,
it's almost like I was doingthings but my brain was
somewhere else.
And that made a lot more sensewhen I understood that I had
(03:37):
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Is ADHD different in men and women?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I think that it can show up differently, like across
and women.
I think that it can show updifferently, like across.
You know all human experiences.
I think a lot of it reallydepends on if you are what they
call predominantly hyperactiveor predominantly inattentive.
So it used to be thought thatgirls and women tended to have
(04:01):
the inattentive type of ADHD, sothey had less hyperactivity.
I don't know that that'snecessarily true.
I think that girls and womenare socialized to channel their
hyperactivity differently.
I think we're expected to notbe bouncing off the walls, to
(04:22):
calm down, to be a good girl, soI think we just get really good
at not showing that to theworld.
So it shows up differently.
But I don't know if it hasanything to do with the brain
structure or if it has to dowith how we're socialized in the
world.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have this friend of mine.
He has ADHD and he's one of thefew people where I love him so
much.
We'll go to lunch and let's sayan hour lunch.
We will talk about 45 differentthings and we follow each other
perfectly.
It's the best, it's literallyit's right.
But he's also medicated.
(04:59):
I'm not.
So what's your take on that,and have you been medicated?
Are you medicated?
Is that too personal?
But you wrote a book, so youshould be open.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
No, I can totally talk about that.
I am really open to medication.
I have been on meds in certainperiods of my life where I
couldn't risk having days whereI just could not turn my brain
on.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
On.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You could turn it on, turn it on, um, on, you could
turn it on like uh, do you everexperience, john jay, the
feeling of like, some days yourbrain is like locked in and you
can be super focused onsomething for like hours on end
and then the next day it's likegetting started on?
Anything feels impossible.
Does that ever happen to you?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I mean, I have a version of something like that
yeah, yeah, I have like I gothrough things for like I, I and
I really, like I really want tobe a magician.
I want to learn everything Ican about magic or and then, and
then it fades after a while.
I get into these things yeah.
I'm really passionate aboutcertain things, but then
sometimes I stick with it, youknow.
Let me just tell you, I was sonervous about you coming here.
(05:59):
I didn't want to be, I didn'twant to have ADHD during our
interview.
So I went and I worked out foran hour to get my yas out, as my
wife says.
Then I went and I sat in a redlight bed for 20 minutes.
Then I went and I ran on atreadmill for a mile.
Then I went and sat in a saunainfrared sauna for 20 minutes.
Then I went in the hot tub,then I went in the cold puddle
(06:20):
and I took a shower.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
And then I came here hoping to be like.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You can't have ADHD in front of the lady that knows
about it.
I just didn't want you to go.
What a terrible interview.
No.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I love it.
I mean, I think that we couldhave the type of conversation
that you have with your friends,where we take it in different
directions.
Your ADHD listeners they'll beable to keep up.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I think that's really interesting that you
brought that up, because myrelationship to bring it back to
the medication question is whenI'm in periods of my life where
I can do all those things thatyou mentioned.
I love to exercise too.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I don't love to exercise, but you love the
impact it has on you.
Yeah, I like the results of itRight exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I discovered in my early adulthood that my brain
was different on exercise and itwas kind of the same thing
where I was not an athletic kid,I didn't have like a love of
sports or anything, but Idiscovered running and I was
like, wow, I have a differentbrain on the days I run.
But I couldn't run seven days aweek.
I ran six days a week.
You know different phases of mylife and that helped a lot to
(07:23):
an extent.
And then doing all of the otherthings with health and
nutrition and self-care.
When I can do all of thosethings, I don't need to be
medicated.
When I am going through timesin my life where those things
are not as accessible because oflife circumstances, where I'm
at with kids, what I'm takingcare of, those are times when
I've been on meds and they'vehelped a lot during those times.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, so I was seeing a therapist for a while, right,
and he's like you have ADHD.
So he puts me on meds and Iremember I was getting on an
airplane and he gave me put meon Adderall, okay.
Okay, so I take this Adderalland I get on a plane for the
first time, I'm in the emergencyroom and the flight attendant
says to me sir, you're in theemergency room, I need your
verbal.
Do you understand how they dothat in the emergency room and I
(08:09):
couldn't speak, and I was like,and I was like, yeah, and I was
like oh my God, and I justcouldn't sleep.
I could not, I was out.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I was like this is terrible.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
So I called the shrink and I said I can't be on
this stuff, it's terrible.
So he put me on something elsecalled Vyvanse, right.
So I took Vyvanse and I took itfor a few months while I was on
the air and I mean I reallyfelt different, like I felt like
I could pay attention and.
I was like much like this book,it all makes sense.
Now I was like I was like waita minute, is this how people are
(08:39):
every day?
Like this is what it's like tobe normal, to pay attention.
And I didn't like the way I wason the radio.
I didn't like like I kind offeel sometimes now in my career,
in my life, that ADHD if that'swhat I truly have it's been a
benefit to me, right?
So I I went off the Vyvanse.
Now I will say this I go to LAonce a year.
(09:03):
I mean, I go a few times a year, but I go for once a year for
this conference, and what theydo is they bring out you, I sit
in this theater and they bringout all the new music for the
upcoming year, right?
So all the artists come andthey it's a really cool thing
they like you know, jenniferLopez here's my new song.
Justin Bieber here's my newsong.
Hope you like it, but it's like10 hours and.
I can't sit through it.
(09:23):
But I take a Vyvanse.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I'm good to go yeah right so, but I haven't done
that in a while yeah, I mean Ithink it's really interesting
how you mentioned that it worksfor the focus, but it changes
some other things.
Something that I think is superinteresting about ADHD brains is
that the way we filterinformation is different, so our
(09:46):
brains take in a lot more ofwhat's going on around us.
So that's why it's we struggleto direct our attention.
So I could be talking to you,but I'm also hearing the cars
out there, I'm noticing whatthis guy over here is doing and
I'm putting that all togetherkind of like in the background,
and that makes us reallycreative people, it makes us
(10:06):
really intuitive.
It's probably what makes you areally awesome radio host,
because you're able to kind oftie a story together really,
really quickly, because you haveabsorbed a lot of information
that other people were tuningout because they were focusing
on the most important thing inthe moment.
So I think that makes sensethat when you can have that like
really really directed focus,you do kind of lose everything
(10:30):
else that you're picking uparound you.
So in certain contexts not youknow, not being able to focus so
intently on that one you knowimportant thing in front of you
can actually lead to otherreally great things that benefit
you in other contexts.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Does your book help people Like it's?
So like, who gets this book?
Someone who has ADHD and theywant to know how to survive
every single day?
Or is it someone that's tryingto transition out of HD?
Can you get out of ADHD?
No, you're stuck on it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's a lifelong thing .
It is a neurobiological.
They call it a disorder, butwhether you identify with that
term is personal Right.
But technically, it's typicallysomething that you are born
with, and if you're diagnosed asan adult, you have to show
evidence that this existed inyour childhood too.
So yes, you can.
(11:19):
Like.
For me it would be going backand being like all the car
accidents.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
What about before that?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Even before that, as a kid like I got good grades in
school, but I was constantlyfidgeting Like I'm seeing you
bounce your leg.
Like I was the leg.
I'm trying not to no, it's fine, it's like so funny for me,
like I love being able to seeADHD in action.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So you would say, look at me, that I have it.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you really do, and I don't
think it's a bad thing, andthat's what we have to and that
doesn't mean that you're notmanaging it really really well.
And I think we have to stoplooking at like the name ADHD,
the way we do Like the worddeficit is like really not the
whole picture, right, I look atADHD from a neurodiversity lens
(12:03):
so it's not to me a disorder,it's a different way of being.
So it can feel like a disorderif you don't have support, if
you're not in an environmentthat makes sense, if you're in
the wrong job that like doesn'treally activate your brain in
the right way it can be.
It can feel really disabling.
But if you have the rightenvironment, you know how your
(12:23):
brain works, you know what worksfor you and you have support,
it can be really, um, just animportant type of brain to have
in this world so let me ask youa couple things.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Let me tell me I'll give you some scenarios tell me
if it's an adhd thing.
Let's say I got to go to acompany function and there's
advertisers and clients thereand I talk to them and I think I
could do really well in littledoses.
When I talk to somebody for along time I don't know what to
say and like I might haveanother disorder besides ADHD
but I'll be sitting therestaring at someone talking to
(12:56):
them and I'm like, as I'mtalking, I'm going.
Oh my god, what do I say now?
What do?
I say now they're on to me, I'mnot paying attention.
I better move and go over therenow.
Is that something like that?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, I mean it sounds like you kind of, because
you've known that that's been astruggle in the past.
You're probably like thinkingahead, like oh, I've got to know
what to say next, versus beingable to tune into what they're
saying and be present in thatconversation.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Like my wife, she'll talk to people and she has these
wonderful conversations withall these different people.
I have a neighbor, friend ofmine.
He's the nicest guy.
They just talk and talk, andtalk and I'm like, how do they
do that?
I just can't I can't, I can't,I don't know how to do it?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Is it different depending on what they're
talking about?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I don't know.
Also, you know, I was thinkingabout what you said when you
were a kid, like for me, whenyou said you know, there's such
a great title.
It all makes sense now becausefor me it's.
I remember going back to mychildhood and I remember like my
dad trying to teach me homeworkand I didn't get it math or
certain spelling and he wouldsay I remember he'd get so mad
at me and my sister, she's likea genius.
(13:59):
She got top of her class,graduated magna cum, whatever
UCLA in, and she was just sosmart and we had the same
parents and I remember she wasyounger than me and she would
understand my homework and Ididn't understand my homework
and at the time, whatever Ididn't get it and I think that
if the tools that we havenowadays, I probably could have
(14:22):
used those tools.
In fact, I don't really knowhow I got to where I was in
school.
I think I failed up, if thatmakes sense, because I didn't
understand so much going on.
I was just talking to my.
Let's see, I'm all over theplace.
Right now.
My son is 19 years old and he'sgoing to be a freshman in
college.
I was a freshman in college at17.
And I just don't think I wasready for it, right.
(14:43):
I don't think I was developedanywhere near where he is and I
think there's.
It took me seven years to getthrough school, took me forever
and I didn't have any help youknow, so I don't know, is that
ADHD?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
yeah, one really interesting thing about ADHD is
that they have evidence thatADHD children's brains are.
Typically certain regions oftheir brain, like the prefrontal
cortex, develop about threeyears later than their peers.
So it's not that you are lesssmart, but your brain was
(15:17):
catching up to certaindevelopmental milestones like
slower.
So that may be why that youngadulthood really was a little
bit harder for you.
Because, uh, part of the brainthat's impacted by adhd, it
struggles with executivefunctions.
Have you heard that term before?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
no okay.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
So those executive functions are a set of things
that your brain needs to be ableto do, like prioritizing, uh,
motivation, uh, self-management,so things like getting through
the boring tasks of life, um,focus, cognitive flexibility.
All of those things areimpacted by adhd and they
(15:54):
develop slower, so they're allskills that you need to, like
turn your homework in on time,to you know, arrive at class on
time I just would never do do myhomework.
Yeah, yeah.
Right oh yeah, I was that kid.
The reason I got good grades isbecause if I'm interested in
something, I will remember itRight.
I'll remember it for a reallylong time, but I can take a test
(16:15):
and pass it, usually becauseI'm pretty good at like noticing
patterns and context clues.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Well, how do you have ADHD and write a book?
That's impressive.
I can't.
I'll be reading a book.
I read it.
I have so many books.
I'm currently reading sevenbooks, seven or eight books, and
I can't get through one.
I read the same page over andover and over again.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Is that?
Do you have that too?
Um, you know, I've alwaysactually loved to read if I like
what I'm reading.
If it's a boring book, I willDNF that book like so fast.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I won't make myself push through, but I was always a
reader growing up, um, I I'vealways really loved to write, so
that helped.
So are you like a low levelADHD?
Because you seem really no, I'mvery yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I'm very good at masking my ADHD.
That's, I think, why it took meso long to get diagnosed is
because I figured out reallyearly.
I went to Catholic schoolgrowing up and girls like me
that questioned authority andwanted to do things differently,
like we didn't have the bestoutcomes in terms of have you
had ADHD issues, like in yourmarriage.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Is there a side effect of that?
Like yes.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I there definitely is .
I wrote about it a little bitin my book.
My husband is extremelyneurotypical, very responsible.
He's like we're like yin andyang, I feel like.
And it worked out really wellin a lot of ways because he's
helped me get through themundane things in life, because
he's so organized and I'vehelped him be more fun, like I'm
(17:38):
the fun one in the marriage?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Did that just happen or did you seek him out I?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
think we kind of figured that out right away.
I actually was probablyattracted to people that were
more chaotic earlier in my life.
Like he was the first likeresponsible person that I found
a connection with.
But I think I knew what Ineeded and it worked out really
well, I think, for both of us.
Worked out really well, I thinkfor both of us.
(18:06):
But sometimes we do come intoconflict.
Where I need to be able tooperate in the cycles that make
sense for my brain, like I'llget really hyper, focused on a
project and see it through andthat will be my life for like
four days and then I'm like apotato for a couple of days and
even like the most basic thingscan be hard for me at times,
like unloading the dishwasher,making a meal like just the
everyday life things.
Can be hard for me at times,like unloading the dishwasher,
(18:27):
making a meal like just theeveryday life things, because
ADHD brains are driven byinterest and that stuff is not
interesting, whereas my husband,like it, feels so foreign to me
he can wake up in the morningand, like, start unloading the
dishwasher.
I would never be able to dothat.
I can wake up in the morning, Ihave to drink a cup of coffee,
which is a stimulant which isbasically what ADHD meds are and
(18:47):
then I have to go for a run andthen I have to do four more
things before I can even facelike some of those more mundane
things of life.
So him not understanding whyI'm this way caused some
conflict and me notunderstanding why he's not more
impulsive and fun and like readyto just like let life happen.
(19:08):
Um, you know, at times was hard, but overall I think we have
found a good partnership becausewe appreciate each other's
differences do you have?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
is this a symptom of ADHD?
I think.
I think I saw that it is pilesof stuff yes, I have piles all
over my house.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, you know, and that can be a lot of things.
I think what probably ishappening with we call them doom
piles like things that justaccumulate.
Sometimes we don't realize it,but we're afraid to put things
away because it's out of sight,out of mind for us.
I mentioned working memoryearlier.
So working memory is like it'snot your short-term memory, but
(19:45):
it's kind of like that.
It's more like the scratch padin your brain that has the steps
needed to like work throughsomething, and our working
memory is trash.
So we might like have a itemand be like okay, I need to go
put it somewhere, but ourbrain's not going to hold on to
where we put it later.
(20:06):
So if we put something in adrawer and we need it later, we
don't know where it is.
So that's why we have so manythings out in in the doom pile,
because if we can see it, weremember it exists is that in
here?
yeah, oh, there's a wholechapter on that stuff.
Oh, really, my wife gets.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
She's used to it now, but she she'll be like like
I'll have all my piles.
And then let's say we're havinga function or people over, then
my pile goes into a box andthat box goes in the garage and
if I ever need something I hadto go through my piles of boxes
to see what all the things are.
I have piles of clothes, I havepiles of vitamins, I have piles
of everything all over thehouse and it's frustrating and I
feel bad for her.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Because she likes to keep it clean.
She's really.
She sounds like your husband.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
She's really butt down.
Yeah, he would love to not seemy clutter.
But like if he puts my vitaminsaway?
I don't take my vitamins for amonth.
I forget that they're there.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Like you know, they is so crazy I don't remember if
I already took my vitamins.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's working memory .
It freaking blew my mind.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I was like I thought maybe it was the beginning of
dementia, but I was like I thinkI took them.
I don't remember.
It was a couple hours ago.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, it happens to me all the time.
I'll be like did I take that?
I comes in like the old peopleones where they just like divide
it out.
Right.
Use those for your vitamins,because then if it's gone for
Tuesday, you know you took it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah but see, that's something like I don't want to
do.
If I travel, I set up the pillstuff but, I just take them all
one.
I don't know.
I just I don't like to do.
I can't explain it, but it'show about this.
What about?
Is there a symptom that's?
Is it ADHD or is it also likeadult autism?
Have you heard of that one yet?
Like, how do you know thedifference between that?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, they're kind of like a Venn diagram.
There's a lot of overlap, so itcan be very tricky.
I would say, if you suspecteither, getting evaluated is
really, really helpful.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But I don't want to go like.
I went online, took a littlequiz and it was like it said
that I had.
I already got the psychiatristtold me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I had adhd, but the online quiz said I might have
the adult autism okay, but Idon't, you know, it's an online
quiz.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I've taken those online quizzes yeah, I mean it's
tough.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I'm not an expert on autism.
I do have, uh, autistic familymembers and you know the
community is so overlappingbecause a lot of people with
ADHD have both.
We call that odd-HD now.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh, I never heard that before.
What's that Odd-ADHD?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, au, like I don't know if I'm getting the
acronym right, but yeah, that issomething that they're seeing
more and more.
I actually think that yearsfrom now, we'll realize like
these neurodiverse brains don'talways fit in one box or the
other.
But there are a lot of symptomsthat you know typically are put
in the autism box, but manypeople with ADHD experience like
(23:01):
getting overstimulated.
I don't know if that happens toyou.
It happens to me a lot wherelike certain environments where,
when I, when I, was like takingmy kids to the bounce house
place when they were little andthere's like the noise from the
bounce house and screaming kidsand like someone's talking to me
over here.
Like I could handle it when Iwas in the moment my I would be
exhausted, like my brain wouldbe right parties, new Year's Eve
(23:22):
parties, fourth of July partiesI don't need them yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I don't.
I have to go to a lot offunctions and I just dread that
stuff Like you're exhausted,afterwards Exhausted.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm pretty extroverted, but I still feel
like I need to recover fromthings like that.
And that, I think, has more todo again with that filtering
system in our brain.
It's not filtering outeverything that's going on
around us in the same waysomeone else's brain is, so
we're like it's letting in morenoise.
It's letting in more noise,it's letting in more light.
We're feeling all of that more,and so we get overstimulated
more easily.
That is typically under theautism umbrella as like an
(23:55):
official symptom, but there'soverlap there.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yeah, I used to.
I remember being a kid goingI'm making this all about me.
I'm sorry, but I remember goingto old Tucson.
Do you ever been to old Tucson?
It's like old Western yep, whenI was a kid and the the guns
was too loud I never likedfireworks.
I never wanted anything, allthat stuff.
But, um, so this book, is thisyour first book?
Yeah, and, and when did it comeout and how do you get it?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
almost exactly a year ago, oh wow it is uh on amazon.
Barnesandnoblecom target a lotof independent bookstores have
it, it's pretty.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Is it self-published?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
no, no, no I I went with a traditional publisher wow
, that's great.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And so what's your background like?
Where did you like you?
What's your?
You're not a doctor, or are youa doctor?
So you're an?
I just called you an adhdexpert.
But what, like you studied?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
you have a psychology degree I do have a psychology
degree.
I did not get it to study ADHD.
I think I got it because I waslike what is going on in my
brain?
I don't know what's happeninghere, but I've always been
interested in how people so youfelt different your whole life.
Oh, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, I just felt and I couldn't pinpoint it.
There were times when I wasgoing through things in my early
adulthood where I would liketalk to my doctor and they'd be
like I think you're anxious, Ithink this is anxiety and I was
like I'm not, though likesometimes I get like
situationally I'll be anxiousfor, you know, a big interview
or something like that, but Ididn't feel like that fit.
I didn't feel like.
(25:19):
I felt like I was depressedsometimes, but not like overall
are you okay being alone?
um, it depends.
Now that I'm around people somuch, I like it a lot more.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
You like being alone.
A lot more being alone.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm kind of that
ambivert personality where Ilike I do need people, but
sometimes I need to be by myself.
I can self-entertain prettyeasily, but yeah, I definitely
felt really different.
I would even have people belike why do you think that way?
(25:54):
Like, why are you like this?
And I'm like I don't know.
Do you have a lot of friends?
I was.
I had a decent amount offriends, some of them.
Friendships didn't always lastvery long.
I felt like I would have reallyintense friendships and then
there would be like amiscommunication.
I was really bad at rememberingpeople's birthdays you, if I
moved, it was kind of like thatperson disappeared, even though
they didn't mean a lot to me.
(26:15):
I was bad about keeping megrowing up?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
did you move a lot growing up?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I moved when I was in like right before high school.
I actually moved to arizonafrom michigan and then I moved
for college and then I movedafter college and then I came
back here.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So you went to high school where chandler- Chandler
High.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
So did I?
No way, really.
Yeah, oh my gosh, get out ofhere.
That's wild.
What why?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
You're a wolf.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yep Back when it was the only high school in Chandler
yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I went to Chandler Junior High.
Okay, so I went to Knox.
So this is I went to KnoxElementary School.
So in fifth grade I in tucson.
Okay, sixth grade I was inchandler.
Then you go to challenge yourhigh and it's seventh, eighth
and ninth grade challenge yourhigh.
Then, chandler, high is 10thgrade, right.
And then after 10th grade Imoved to los angeles for 11th
(27:01):
grade then then I moved to sandiego for 12th grade.
Okay, it sucks to be movingaround like that all the time
yeah but my close friends arehere, you know here.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I had a very similar experience because I went to
Catholic school in Michigan andit ended at sixth grade.
I went to seventh grade at likethe public junior high in the
town.
I lived at moved here foreighth grade, um which I went to
Anderson junior high, which wasalso seven, eight, nine so I
felt so ripped off because I waslike I'm gonna be in high
school and then I was like movedhere and I'm like, no, nope you
(27:33):
got an extra year junior highand then I went to Chandler High
, so it was a lot of transitionand I think that made it really
hard.
Uh, but and you know, that wasbefore we had cell phones you
know, it was in the pager era,but even as an adult, um, I I
was very close with, I think,the people that like got me, but
like if I had an acquaintanceor a friend where I felt like I
(27:56):
just you know, kind of never gotpast the small talk phase with
them, I kind of had no problemlike leaving them behind when
what?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
about as an adult.
Do you have new friends now?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
yeah, yeah, I'm pretty social, yeah me too it's
kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I I have a couple friends from when I was growing
up in chandler, since I've knownhim since sixth, seventh grade,
pretty close, and then nothingin the later years of life.
No friends from college, acouple of friends when I got in
the radio career, but notnothing really.
But now as as a I call myself,like now as a grown-up, I I have
like two or three new friendsthat I just adore, yeah, I love
(28:31):
hanging out with them.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
It's weird.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I've never had that before.
Oh, that's awesome.
I don't know if that's an ADHDthing or maybe it's kind of
weird.
I feel like, like sometimes Ifeel like I'm not as old as I am
.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That is actually so wild that you said that because
when I was taking my courses tobecome an adhd coach, one of the
first modules they were likepeople with adhd look and act
younger, even as adults.
I was like what, how do we lookand act younger?
You?
know that makes no sense to me,um, but I do think it is some of
that like curiosity.
That is part of our brain.
Like, like I mentioned earlier,our brain is driven by interest
, not importance.
(29:10):
That's part of our brain.
Like I mentioned earlier, ourbrain is driven by interest, not
importance.
That's what gets our brainactivated.
That's what gets the dopaminegoing.
So, because of that, we'realways curious and learning new
things and wanting to have newexperiences, and I just think
we're more open to how theculture is evolving.
You have kids, right, they'reall teenagers.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
They're 22, 21, and 19.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah, and I bet you're like the cool dad that
like knows kind of more likewhat's going on with them, right
?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
But sometimes I have this moment where I'm like, oh
my God, I can't believe I'm adad.
Am I ready to be a dad?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, like you, don't felt like I was running around,
Like I'm a mom People think I'mresponsible, my kids get to
school on time but I was likethey're going to find out.
They're going to find out thatthis is not real.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
That's exactly how I feel Like I can't believe
sometimes that I'm a dad.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense tome, Like I don't think I'm
mature enough to be a dad.
It like I want to.
I try to.
I now I I make an effort toparent right.
I make an effort to have arelationship with my kids and
sometimes I take each one ofthem and I try to give them
wisdom that I have.
(30:17):
But I don't think it comes outthat way.
Like my father always had greatgems of wisdom for me that were
fantastic and and it doesn't, Idon't think it comes out the
same way when I give it to themlike when.
I pass.
Are my kids that?
Oh, dad used to say this allthe time.
Dad was right about this.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Like.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know if I have that, because I feel like
I'm still them.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah.
You know, but I think that youprobably are guiding them in a
way that you just can't seeright now.
I think that you know, justfrom talking to a lot of parents
, I think we all feel like thatto a big degree and usually you
see it more and like how younotice them interacting with
(30:57):
other people.
You see your wisdom there versusthem telling you that that
they're picking up on it.
But I mean not to be like aparasocial stalker from from
listening to the radio andhearing about your family, it
seems like you.
You have strong relationships.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I think so.
I think it's like you as strongrelationships.
I think so.
I think I have strongrelationships and your kids like
you as a person.
Yeah, I think so.
A lot of dads can say that.
Well like, sometimes I get myfeelings hurt when, like, my
kids go hang out with theirfriends and then their friend's
dad, yeah, I'm like, hey, younever come hang out with me.
Aw, how many kids do you have?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I have three.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
And does ADHD?
Is it genetic?
Can it go down the line?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
It's about the statistics are.
85% of kids with ADHD have aparent that has ADHD.
Two out of my three arediagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Oh wow, did you diagnose them, like you knew.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Not really.
So I was actually diagnosedafter my daughter was that's
sort of how I realized I hadADHD was filling out her
paperwork, I was like they'retalking about me too, and when I
you know she was a lot youngerwhen she was diagnosed.
It's been many, many years now,but I remember thinking like
(32:02):
I'm not going to be able to helpher and really like let this
awesome kid I was seeing infront of me like live up to who
she was meant to be if I don'tfix my own shit oh wow I don't
know if you need to edit that ornot, but I you know, when I
went through that process, itwas a big awakening for me
because I really had context forall the things that I was
(32:23):
struggling with for so long butdidn't really understand.
I had been very into likepersonal development and trying
to like fix what I felt likewere things that were a problem.
Uh, and then I had this likechild who had some things that
she was really struggling withbut also had like the biggest
personality of anyone I've evermet.
Like.
She had these amazing qualitiesbut they were so blocked by the
(32:46):
other things that were givingher issues at school and things
like that, so has she been ableto cope.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Now You've been able to help her.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
She is amazing.
I mean, every kid has their kidthings that they do.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
She's 16.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
But she is really blossomed.
She is such a doer.
I feel like she gets a lot ofreally great feedback from
coaches and for the people thatshe works for.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Oh, she has me.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, she is such a problem solver.
She's like such a busy beeworker.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
What sport is she in?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
She's a cheerleader, oh wow, yeah, so she is.
She's thriving.
I think that a lot of that isjust empowering her to live into
the things that she's strong onand, like, let go of
expectations around things thatdon't matter as much, oh, that's
good, let me ask you this aboutADHD.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
And it's so funny because I knew I was obviously.
I knew I was going to interviewyou and I started to be
self-aware of certain things andso I thought today something
happened.
I go, I'm going to ask her ifthis is ADHD.
So, like I said, one of thethings I tried to do was get my
yeah yeahs out before I camehere so I could be calm.
And where I came here so Icould be calm, and I was on the
treadmill and I put together aplaylist of music that I like
(33:51):
and I'm either one or the other.
I can either listen to the samesong a hundred times in a row
or I can listen to a hundredsongs just the beginning parts
my favorite parts.
And today it was all my favoriteparts of songs.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I would just go.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
I'd start the treadmill like this part of the
song.
Go to the next part.
Go to the next part.
Go to the next part Are thosesymptoms.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, I mean honestly .
You're describing exactly howit is in the car with me and my
daughter.
We're like literally over and,over and over again on one song,
or it's like skip this part.
It's boring.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Next part, you know I can listen negative to have
ADHD.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
I mean it really depends on your environment and
your circumstances.
It definitely can be for peoplethat don't have the context of
why certain things are wrong,for people you know that may
have found themselves in a jobor career that doesn't fit their
strengths that come with theirbrain and has a lot of tasks
that are requiring high levelfocus all of the time.
(34:52):
If you're in a career that'sreally boring, you're probably
going to have a hard timesticking with.
That that's true, and you canexperience a lot of like you
know job hopping or you know therelationship thing you brought
up.
That can be a problem if youdon't understand how you operate
Sleep, oh my gosh, sleep is abig topic is it?
(35:12):
Um, sleep is so tough becausethe better you're sleeping with
adhd, the better your brain'sgonna function are you?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
do you monitor your sleep?
I am obsessed with sleep yeah,okay, so give me tips.
What do you mean?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I mean now I have to do like 100 things to sleep.
Good, and if they're allworking, they work.
But to back it up a little bit,something that is really hard
for people with ADHD is kind oflike getting our brain to power
down at night.
Oftentimes, like as soon as weclose our eyes, we've got new
ideas, we're like thinking aboutthe next day, we're planning a
(35:47):
business, we're having anxietyabout being on time tomorrow,
Like there's all these thingsgoing on.
Our brains are so busy withADHD.
So I think it's reallyimportant to like process some
of that before you go to sleep.
I like to give myself like timeto kind of transition out of my
day and for me that usually likeI have to pick the first thing
I'm doing the next day.
I need to pick the first thingI'm doing the next day.
(36:08):
I need to know what that is sothat my brain's not thinking
about that when I'm trying tosleep.
I need to like kind of do anactivity that's not super boring
but not super stimulating, ifthat makes sense.
Like I can't watch some crazydocumentary right before bed,
because then I'm going to go onReddit and read about the crazy
documentary and then I'm goingto be thinking about it and I'm
(36:30):
not going to be able to sleep.
So I have to do something kindof like low-key, calmer than
that, and then to actually go tosleep, I take magnesium.
I have earpods with a soundscapein my ears every night.
It's really hard for me tosleep if they're not charged
which is also a problem withADHD because sometimes I forget
to put them back in the morning.
I have to fall asleep before myhusband because he will like be
(36:55):
moving around and waking me up,and if all of that is working I
can sleep pretty good.
But it's tough.
I have teenagers.
I'm waiting for them to gethome, like, and then I, you know
that for them to get home, like, and then I, you know that just
kind of disrupts everything,and then I feel the impact.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Wear an aura ring or a whoop or do you.
My watch tracks my sleep oh, itdoes, and so do you success.
Do you think you sleep prettywell it depends.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah, it depends on what's going on in my life, like
also being female hormonally,like I've noticed different
patterns.
But yeah, and it also dependson, like how, if I'm doing all
the things I know that help, ifI'm exercising, if I'm like not
eating right before bedtime, ifI, if one little thing kind of
falls, apart.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Exactly like you, yeah, tough, exactly like that.
I don't like to watch anything.
I'm doing that whole thing nowwhere I'm trying to get away
from my phone an hour or twofrom the bed.
But there's just so much alwayshappening.
I'm trying to not be addictedto my phone.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
And that's a tough one.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
It's tough.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
It's really tough because we're so connected and a
couple times.
I was just talking about thison my radio show the other day.
Whenever I get away from myphone for a couple hours when I
come back, I really didn't missmuch.
Nope.
Whenever I get away from myphone for a couple hours when I
come back, I really didn't missmuch, nope you know, Except for
one time.
I went away for three days andI didn't put my phone away for
three days and I missed a wholebunch.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah yeah, striking that balance is hard.
I think that people with ADHDcan benefit a lot from having
some roles around that forthemselves.
Like for me, I really try toread at night or watch something
really like kind of familiar.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
I think reading really helps clear the brain.
Yeah, reading is the best, butit's hard for me to do that.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah, sometimes I fall asleep reading, which I
think isn't necessarily a badthing, because then I can just
sleep Do you drink alcohol.
I like alcohol, but I'm tryingnot to drink very much of it
because, especially as I'vegotten older, I definitely
that's what my watch tells mehas the biggest impact on my
sleep.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yeah, big time.
Well, what about, like when youback in your days, whenever you
were partying and you woulddrink, could you see, did you
see, effects of AD?
Like when I look back, like mycollege days?
I don't know if I had, I meanI'm sure I had it but I don't
(39:14):
know, you just live in life.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Yeah, I didn't know that I wasn't getting things
done right.
I don't know, is theresomething like that?
Like, did you have that?
I mean, I definitely feel likeI relate to just getting through
college on vibes.
Um, I went to Northern Arizona.
Um, I had a lot of fun incollege, but I did also drink a
lot and I, you know, I I passed.
I probably didn't do as well asI could have.
Uh, it's hard to separate, likewhat was the?
You know, I passed.
I probably didn't do as well asI could have.
It's hard to separate, likewhat was the problem?
You know what I mean.
Like if it was drinking toomuch in college or if it was not
(39:36):
sleeping, or all of thosethings.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I always had this thing where I was like I wish I
could go back, because now Iknow how important it was.
Like at the time I was just Idon't know what I was doing, but
I mean that part of it, Ithought it's because I was 17.
Yeah, like man, I need to, Ineed to go back.
This is important but it's toolate.
(39:59):
I'm already this far down theroad, I can't go back.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (40:03):
yeah, I mean I talked to a lot of people that were
diagnosed later in life orpeople that were diagnosed
younger but like really didn'tunderstand what was going on
with them, and they sometimeshave a lot of grief for like, oh
, if I had known this, I couldhave done this differently.
But I think that kind ofapplies to a lot of humans,
whether it's adhd or not, rightlike we don't know what we know
(40:23):
until we know it, and sometimesthat information finds us later
in life.
So I do think it's better, if welike, focus on the future
versus.
I mean, we got to heal stufffrom the past, but there's
nothing we can do to go back andchange that.
Um, and there's probably goodlessons and things you learned
from.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
You know the mistakes you've had too right, you seem
very calm, though you know likeI'm trying.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I'm trying not to move it depends on what day you
find me.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
You said earlier so you'd listened to my radio show,
right?
And then earlier, before we satdown, you started to say
something.
I was like wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
So you said, like you've listened to the show
enough to know about ADHD, me,my personality yeah, I mean you
mention ADHD a lot, I thinkactually I haven't been
listening as regularly nowbecause I was listening a lot
when I was driving my teenagersbecause it was appropriate for
them.
But now I've got my little11-year-old who, like you know
he doesn't need to be listeningto a second date update, but I
(41:22):
was listening this morningbecause I knew I was going to be
talking to you and youmentioned ADHD, did I?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
mention it this morning.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, someone called in and talked about like they
have a partner that theyappreciate because they have
ADHD and it's hard for them tolike make meals for themselves
and do things like that yeah andthat came up.
But you know I had beenlistening to you for a long time
.
You were always my like commuteto work show and you listening
(41:48):
to you for a long time.
You were always my like commuteto work show and you guys made
me late for work a lot becauseI'd be in the car and I'd be
like I gotta find out what'shappening on the roses, I can't
go in there, um.
But you know it was interestingas a listener, like hearing you
kind of slip it in, talk aboutit here and there, and then once
I was like getting my diagnosisand understanding adhd and then
moving into the field, I waslike this makes sense, like and
that's something I try not to do, it too much unless people have
(42:09):
disclosed that they have ADHDbut like, oftentimes I meet
people and when they find outwhat I do, they're like oh, I
have ADHD too and I'm kind oflike, yeah, I knew it, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Like you say what you do, how would you classify what
you do?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
so like the work I'm doing.
So I do focus on writing quitea bit, so I have my book.
I also do articles and thingslike that.
I do a lot of speakingengagements.
Really, what I am, I feel like,is an advocator and educator on
ADHD.
I do talks to organizations tohelp them understand their ADHD
(42:45):
employees and how to accommodatethem.
I do some coaching, so I workwith individuals and groups as
well.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
So I might have somebody on the show that has
worse ADHD than me so there's away to talk to them to
communicate with them.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
What's a?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
tip for that.
For what someone should do,yeah how do you talk to someone
that has ad?
How do you coach someone thathas adhd?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
so coaching is really a lot about helping guide the
client to strategies that aregoing to work for them.
So usually if I'm going to workwith a client, I'm going to
figure out a little bit aboutwhat their goals are and I'm
going to talk to them about likekind of the outcomes they're
looking for, and then I'm goingto ask them a lot of questions
and help them kind of get to thebottom of what's not working
(43:30):
and create pathways that willwork for them, and then that
that's all coaching right.
That's sort of the modalitywith ADHD coaching.
I'm also trained to look atthat through like the ADHD lens.
So a person might come in andthey're trying to build a new
business or something like that,and they've read all these
books that this is the way to doit right, and they're like,
(43:52):
really like I'm not doing it,but they're really going to need
to get rid of that frameworkthat was built for people with
more neurotypical brains andbuild a framework that makes
sense for their ADHD brain, andI'm there to help them find
those answers.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
You know what's funny ?
Because when you say that, Ithink about how every morning we
have a meeting before the showstarts and I go over with
everybody where.
So we have a show sheet ofwhere things are going to happen
at certain times.
And I don't know why maybe it'sthe ADHD brain but I'll say
we're doing this at 6.05.
And you would think that I'mgonna go here's what we're doing
(44:27):
at 620.
Instead, I go to 830 and thenI'll go to 720 and I go.
I go to these different timesand everyone follows me.
Now they get it because I, butI'm sometimes I'll go.
Why am?
Why am I?
Why can't I just go in order?
Yeah, like, does that makesense?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
yeah, our brains are not linear brains, our brains
are like I always say we don'tthink in a straight line, we
think in a spider web.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
So yeah, boy, that is good because man, my, my wife,
frustrated with my calendar.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
When.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
I put something on my phone.
I might have a meeting at oneo'clock on Wednesday and I'll
make it for 11 on Thursday.
I know exactly when it is, Iknow where I gotta be, but I and
she just does not understand it.
What about do you do this withyour alarm clock?
I have a weird system for myalarm clock.
So I get up at 3.15 in themorning, but I set my clock so
(45:14):
it says 3.45.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
But it's really 3.15.
So when I get up it drives mywife crazy Not now, but she's
used to it.
But that way when I get up andI go brush my teeth it says 3 45
on the clock.
But when I get up to go brushmy teeth I'm like oh, it's 320.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
I'm way ahead of myself yeah, and you're excited
you have bonus time now.
Yes, but what's happening?
There is, uh, I mentioned theadhd brain is motivated by
interest.
It's also motivated by urgency.
So when you're waking up at 345, your brain's a little bit
like oh crap, I'm late.
Yeah, so you need that urgency.
Your brain's releasing dopamineand that gets you out of bed.
And then, once you realize youhave time, you're like okay,
(45:51):
it's cool, but the problem issometimes we figure out our own
tricks Right and then they don'twork anymore.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
This is so good.
Yeah, you know what's funny.
It all makes sense.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
I I totally feel not alone right now.
Oh good, that was a huge goalof mine, because when I realized
I had ADHD, I thought I waslike the only corporate mom of
three that was dealing with this.
And then I started havingconversations with people.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
But you don't want to change anything, do you I?
Speaker 2 (46:15):
don't Not now.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
I don't either.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
You know I might have had a different answer if you
asked me at a different point inmy life.
But now that I understand mystrengths, my values, I stopped
kind of like doing things justbecause I should and the world
was telling me this is the rightway and I started doing things
in a way that worked for me.
I appreciate how my brain iswired.
It would be impossible for meto say I needed to change having
(46:41):
ADHD.
When I look at my kids thathave ADHD and I think they're
amazing.
Like I don't want them to change.
Having ADHD when I look at mykids that have ADHD, I think
they're amazing.
I don't want them to change.
I want them to learn aboutthemselves and, you know, really
be able to thrive.
But I don't want them to change.
I don't want them to have adifferent brain.
I wouldn't ask them to bedifferent.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Can you remember conversations?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
It depends if they were good conversations.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Let's say I had a meeting with somebody and I had
great news, and then I was goingto tell Rich my partner you're
not going to believe this.
I had this great meeting withso-and-so.
What happened and I rememberlike chunks of it.
I remember all of it, or likeon the way here, I had this
great meeting about a possibleinvestment that I wanted to do.
And I can't wait to tell mywife, and I kind of forgot about
it already.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
I know I'm gonna not tell her the important stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Does that make sense?
Like I'm gonna miss chunks ofit.
I didn't write it down I don'tknow.
I feel.
I feel like I'm gonna rememberit, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
I don't remember anything yeah, sometimes we
trust our brains more than weshould.
Yes, yeah, it is.
I think that's what's sointeresting about adhd it's not
that we can't remember things,but sometimes we're not always
remembering the right things.
Like you might remember, likethat you really liked that guy's
outfit or his shoes.
But like the important, likewhen do I need to, like you know
, do this thing to make thisother thing happen?
(47:53):
Sometimes that's not clickingas much because in that moment
that wasn't as interesting asthe other stuff that was going
on in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
What's the thing in your book?
Uh, your other thing,hummingbird.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
You're a sort of hummingbird company so the name
of my coaching practice isHummingbird ADHD, hummingbird
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Yeah, yeah, that's funny, I couldn't remember the
ADHD part.
Why Hummingbird?
Speaker 2 (48:12):
This is kind of a long story.
I'll try to make it a littlebit shorter.
But when I was doing mycoaching certification classes,
I had started them in 2019, andthen I was still working at the
time, so I had taken a break,and then the next class I took
was in March 2020.
And so all of a sudden, I'mtaking this course and all my
(48:33):
kids are home.
Like my house is chaotic, and soI ended up taking a lot of the
calls in my backyard and therewere all these like hummingbirds
flying around around me, and Igot really curious about
hummingbirds during one of thecalls what I should have been
paying attention and I wassidebarring, googling
hummingbirds and I found outthey have really interesting,
(48:55):
unique brains, um, and that kindof all came together for me.
I thought it was like a coolmoment to understand like these
are cool creatures, right,they're very unique and I'm glad
they exist, and that's how Ifeel about the ADHD.
I thought it was like a coolmoment to understand Like these
are cool creatures, right,they're very unique and I'm glad
they exist, and that's how Ifeel about the ADHD brain.
It's unique, it needs to behere and we just need to
understand it better sometimes.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
That's great, so people can hire you, go to
Hummingbird ADHD or go get thisbook.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
And in there they can hire.
You Come into corporations andtry to.
Here's how you deal withsomeone that has adhd mind or
coach individuals or coachgroups or sneak places and doing
it all because I saw thismorning you know I was.
I saw you post this morning oninstagram.
They had all these things todayand I was like, oh man, is she
gonna cancel my interview?
Speaker 2 (49:42):
you did stuff already today yeah, I spoke at a summit
uh for adhd adults todayearlier, which was really fun.
That was online, though, so Ididn't even have to leave my
house.
But yeah, I do webinars forcorporations, I coach private
clients.
I also have a community uh foradults with adhd and we do a lot
of like getting together on azoom and planning our week so
that we have accountability okay.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
So so for me, if I don't know, if I have adhd, but
I I'm over zooms, I can't dozoom yeah, yeah is that an adhd
thing?
Speaker 2 (50:08):
because you know I I work on zoom, so I don't like to
do a lot of other zooms, Ireally prefer in person um, like
this podcast people.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
Oh yeah, I'll do a zoom.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, you gotta come in person is always better for
me, but, like uh, usually mostof my coaching is done over zoom
right now, just because of Icoach clients everywhere oh okay
, but do you have big groups too, like everyone?
Yeah, I do group coaching andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah, so you'll have like today.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You spoke for how many people on your webinar um,
I wasn't running the webinar soI don't know on the back end,
but I think it was a couplehundred logged into that today
you have a beginning, middle endto a speech, like you have a
here's I have different talks.
So today it was a panel, so itwas more interview based, kind
of like doing a podcast withseveral people, basically.
But for if I go into acorporation or something like
(50:56):
that, it depends on what theywant me to talk about.
But I have, you know, a talk onunderstanding ADHD at work, so
understanding how your employeesoperate, what accommodations
work for them, how employees canaccommodate themselves.
And then I have some things onentrepreneurship that I speak on
.
I have a really good talk aboutum, adhd and over optimization
(51:21):
and how we, like, can go downrabbit holes and try to over
optimize and uh, that's a reallyfun one that I like to present
to like groups of entrepreneursand people that are kind of
interested.
So in this short amount of timeyou've done quite a bit yeah
right, I mean, I mean the book,webinars and all in 2020, since
2020 yeah, I mean I I startedkind of dipping my toes in about
(51:42):
2019, but yeah, wow,congratulations for.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
So how would you rate this whole podcast today?
As far as the ADHD Was it, wasthis a good podcast it was good.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yeah, I mean most of the time I am talking to people
with ADHD, so I like that better.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
So you would say right now, in this interview I
told you that I had a therapisttell me, I have ADHD.
You would say to me right nowthat I have ADHD.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
I am not a doctor.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Just for like legal purposes.
But I think the signs are there.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
You know what I'm happy about it.
Yeah, I'm happy about it.
Well, thank you for coming onthe podcast.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
This is a whole new thing for me and this is such a
great cover and such a greatname.
It all makes sense now.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Amazon wherever right , okay, thank you so much thanks
okay, so welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
This is a little bit different today, because this
podcast is a spin-off of ourradio show you.
Okay, so welcome to our podcast.
This is a little bit differenttoday because this podcast is a
spin off of our radio show, sothanks for coming.
(00:31):
Um, I don't really like toprepare for interviews and I
just kind of like the winginterviews and, uh, I was really
nervous about you coming onthis podcast because you're,
like, an adhd expert.
Is that like, what, like, what?
What do I call you?
Are you an adhd expert?
yeah, you can say expert I likethe word expert and and I'm
insecure because I've beendiagnosed before by, like
psychiatrists and stuff, but Ialso don't believe them, but I
(00:52):
don't know.
But you got this book right.
It all makes sense now.
So explain the book to me andthen I'd like to go over your
history and a bunch of otherthings sure, uh.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So, as you just said, the book book is called.
It All Makes Sense Now Embraceyour ADHD Brain to Live a
Creative and Colorful Life.
This book is a combination ofpersonal stories from my past
that relate to how ADHD hasshown up in my life.
I was not diagnosed with ADHDuntil I was almost 40.
(01:24):
So there were a lot of thingshappening that felt really
chaotic, that I didn't have agreat explanation for in my life
, and then I start each chapterwith an anecdote that leads into
an explanation of a symptom orsomething that's a common
challenge for people with ADHD,and then I kind of explain
what's actually happening in thebrain behind that challenge,
(01:46):
and then I finish it withstrategies so that people have
takeaways and a way to kind ofapply some of the information
they're learning to improvetheir life.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Is that why it's called it?
All Makes Sense?
Yes, Like you get diagnosed,you're like oh, my whole life
makes sense now.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Absolutely Like what.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
What's something that happened in your past that now
makes sense?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You know I could think back right now.
I have a 16 year old who justgot her driver's license a few
months ago and I was superanxious about that because of my
driving history.
So when I was a teenager I gotmy license within six months I
had been in three accidents.
I was pulled over one weekthree times in a row for not
(02:30):
having my lights on.
This is before automatic lightswere a thing, constantly locking
my keys in the car, and I justcould not figure out why this
wasn't happening to everybodyelse.
I remember my dad sitting medown after the third accident
which was me backing into aMcDonald's drive-thru line or
sign, which I don't even knowhow to explain how that happened
(02:52):
, and he just said, meredith,why does this keep happening?
You just have to pay attention.
And I was like I know, but Idon't know how, like I can't, so
I thought I was trying to payattention.
So that really made a lot moresense when I understood how
differently my brain is wired Acouple other things that stand
(03:14):
out.
I really struggled with losingthings, working memory.
So I would find, like thecoffee pot in the fridge, I
would find, like my keys in themost random place and you know,
it's almost like I was doingthings but my brain was
somewhere else.
And that made a lot more sensewhen I understood that I had
(03:37):
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Is ADHD different in men and women?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I think that it can show up differently, like across
and women.
I think that it can show updifferently, like across.
You know all human experiences.
I think a lot of it reallydepends on if you are what they
call predominantly hyperactiveor predominantly inattentive.
So it used to be thought thatgirls and women tended to have
(04:01):
the inattentive type of ADHD, sothey had less hyperactivity.
I don't know that that'snecessarily true.
I think that girls and womenare socialized to channel their
hyperactivity differently.
I think we're expected to notbe bouncing off the walls, to
(04:22):
calm down, to be a good girl, soI think we just get really good
at not showing that to theworld.
So it shows up differently.
But I don't know if it hasanything to do with the brain
structure or if it has to dowith how we're socialized in the
world.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have this friend of mine.
He has ADHD and he's one of thefew people where I love him so
much.
We'll go to lunch and let's sayan hour lunch.
We will talk about 45 differentthings and we follow each other
perfectly.
It's the best, it's literallyit's right.
But he's also medicated.
(04:59):
I'm not.
So what's your take on that,and have you been medicated?
Are you medicated?
Is that too personal?
But you wrote a book, so youshould be open.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
No, I can totally talk about that.
I am really open to medication.
I have been on meds in certainperiods of my life where I
couldn't risk having days whereI just could not turn my brain
on.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
On.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
You could turn it on, turn it on, um, on, you could
turn it on like uh, do you everexperience, john jay, the
feeling of like, some days yourbrain is like locked in and you
can be super focused onsomething for like hours on end
and then the next day it's likegetting started on?
Anything feels impossible.
Does that ever happen to you?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I mean, I have a version of something like that
yeah, yeah, I have like I gothrough things for like I, I and
I really, like I really want tobe a magician.
I want to learn everything Ican about magic or and then, and
then it fades after a while.
I get into these things yeah.
I'm really passionate aboutcertain things, but then
sometimes I stick with it, youknow.
Let me just tell you, I was sonervous about you coming here.
(05:59):
I didn't want to be, I didn'twant to have ADHD during our
interview.
So I went and I worked out foran hour to get my yas out, as my
wife says.
Then I went and I sat in a redlight bed for 20 minutes.
Then I went and I ran on atreadmill for a mile.
Then I went and sat in a saunainfrared sauna for 20 minutes.
Then I went in the hot tub,then I went in the cold puddle
(06:20):
and I took a shower.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
And then I came here hoping to be like.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You can't have ADHD in front of the lady that knows
about it.
I just didn't want you to go.
What a terrible interview.
No.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I love it.
I mean, I think that we couldhave the type of conversation
that you have with your friends,where we take it in different
directions.
Your ADHD listeners they'll beable to keep up.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I think that's really interesting that you
brought that up, because myrelationship to bring it back to
the medication question is whenI'm in periods of my life where
I can do all those things thatyou mentioned.
I love to exercise too.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I don't love to exercise, but you love the
impact it has on you.
Yeah, I like the results of itRight exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I discovered in my early adulthood that my brain
was different on exercise and itwas kind of the same thing
where I was not an athletic kid,I didn't have like a love of
sports or anything, but Idiscovered running and I was
like, wow, I have a differentbrain on the days I run.
But I couldn't run seven days aweek.
I ran six days a week.
You know different phases of mylife and that helped a lot to
(07:23):
an extent.
And then doing all of the otherthings with health and
nutrition and self-care.
When I can do all of thosethings, I don't need to be
medicated.
When I am going through timesin my life where those things
are not as accessible because oflife circumstances, where I'm
at with kids, what I'm takingcare of, those are times when
I've been on meds and they'vehelped a lot during those times.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, so I was seeing a therapist for a while, right,
and he's like you have ADHD.
So he puts me on meds and Iremember I was getting on an
airplane and he gave me put meon Adderall, okay.
Okay, so I take this Adderalland I get on a plane for the
first time, I'm in the emergencyroom and the flight attendant
says to me sir, you're in theemergency room, I need your
verbal.
Do you understand how they dothat in the emergency room and I
(08:09):
couldn't speak, and I was like,and I was like, yeah, and I was
like oh my God, and I justcouldn't sleep.
I could not, I was out.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I was like this is terrible.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
So I called the shrink and I said I can't be on
this stuff, it's terrible.
So he put me on something elsecalled Vyvanse, right.
So I took Vyvanse and I took itfor a few months while I was on
the air and I mean I reallyfelt different, like I felt like
I could pay attention and.
I was like much like this book,it all makes sense.
Now I was like I was like waita minute, is this how people are
(08:39):
every day?
Like this is what it's like tobe normal, to pay attention.
And I didn't like the way I wason the radio.
I didn't like like I kind offeel sometimes now in my career,
in my life, that ADHD if that'swhat I truly have it's been a
benefit to me, right?
So I I went off the Vyvanse.
Now I will say this I go to LAonce a year.
(09:03):
I mean, I go a few times a year, but I go for once a year for
this conference, and what theydo is they bring out you, I sit
in this theater and they bringout all the new music for the
upcoming year, right?
So all the artists come andthey it's a really cool thing
they like you know, jenniferLopez here's my new song.
Justin Bieber here's my newsong.
Hope you like it, but it's like10 hours and.
I can't sit through it.
(09:23):
But I take a Vyvanse.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I'm good to go yeah right so, but I haven't done
that in a while yeah, I mean Ithink it's really interesting
how you mentioned that it worksfor the focus, but it changes
some other things.
Something that I think is superinteresting about ADHD brains is
that the way we filterinformation is different, so our
(09:46):
brains take in a lot more ofwhat's going on around us.
So that's why it's we struggleto direct our attention.
So I could be talking to you,but I'm also hearing the cars
out there, I'm noticing whatthis guy over here is doing and
I'm putting that all togetherkind of like in the background,
and that makes us reallycreative people, it makes us
(10:06):
really intuitive.
It's probably what makes you areally awesome radio host,
because you're able to kind oftie a story together really,
really quickly, because you haveabsorbed a lot of information
that other people were tuningout because they were focusing
on the most important thing inthe moment.
So I think that makes sensethat when you can have that like
really really directed focus,you do kind of lose everything
(10:30):
else that you're picking uparound you.
So in certain contexts not youknow, not being able to focus so
intently on that one you knowimportant thing in front of you
can actually lead to otherreally great things that benefit
you in other contexts.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Does your book help people Like it's?
So like, who gets this book?
Someone who has ADHD and theywant to know how to survive
every single day?
Or is it someone that's tryingto transition out of HD?
Can you get out of ADHD?
No, you're stuck on it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's a lifelong thing .
It is a neurobiological.
They call it a disorder, butwhether you identify with that
term is personal Right.
But technically, it's typicallysomething that you are born
with, and if you're diagnosed asan adult, you have to show
evidence that this existed inyour childhood too.
So yes, you can.
(11:19):
Like.
For me it would be going backand being like all the car
accidents.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
What about before that?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Even before that, as a kid like I got good grades in
school, but I was constantlyfidgeting Like I'm seeing you
bounce your leg.
Like I was the leg.
I'm trying not to no, it's fine, it's like so funny for me,
like I love being able to seeADHD in action.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So you would say, look at me, that I have it.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you really do, and I don't
think it's a bad thing, andthat's what we have to and that
doesn't mean that you're notmanaging it really really well.
And I think we have to stoplooking at like the name ADHD,
the way we do Like the worddeficit is like really not the
whole picture, right, I look atADHD from a neurodiversity lens
(12:03):
so it's not to me a disorder,it's a different way of being.
So it can feel like a disorderif you don't have support, if
you're not in an environmentthat makes sense, if you're in
the wrong job that like doesn'treally activate your brain in
the right way it can be.
It can feel really disabling.
But if you have the rightenvironment, you know how your
(12:23):
brain works, you know what worksfor you and you have support,
it can be really, um, just animportant type of brain to have
in this world so let me ask youa couple things.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Let me tell me I'll give you some scenarios tell me
if it's an adhd thing.
Let's say I got to go to acompany function and there's
advertisers and clients thereand I talk to them and I think I
could do really well in littledoses.
When I talk to somebody for along time I don't know what to
say and like I might haveanother disorder besides ADHD
but I'll be sitting therestaring at someone talking to
(12:56):
them and I'm like, as I'mtalking, I'm going.
Oh my god, what do I say now?
What do?
I say now they're on to me, I'mnot paying attention.
I better move and go over therenow.
Is that something like that?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, I mean it sounds like you kind of, because
you've known that that's been astruggle in the past.
You're probably like thinkingahead, like oh, I've got to know
what to say next, versus beingable to tune into what they're
saying and be present in thatconversation.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Like my wife, she'll talk to people and she has these
wonderful conversations withall these different people.
I have a neighbor, friend ofmine.
He's the nicest guy.
They just talk and talk, andtalk and I'm like, how do they
do that?
I just can't I can't, I can't,I don't know how to do it?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Is it different depending on what they're
talking about?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I don't know.
Also, you know, I was thinkingabout what you said when you
were a kid, like for me, whenyou said you know, there's such
a great title.
It all makes sense now becausefor me it's.
I remember going back to mychildhood and I remember like my
dad trying to teach me homeworkand I didn't get it math or
certain spelling and he wouldsay I remember he'd get so mad
at me and my sister, she's likea genius.
(13:59):
She got top of her class,graduated magna cum, whatever
UCLA in, and she was just sosmart and we had the same
parents and I remember she wasyounger than me and she would
understand my homework and Ididn't understand my homework
and at the time, whatever Ididn't get it and I think that
if the tools that we havenowadays, I probably could have
(14:22):
used those tools.
In fact, I don't really knowhow I got to where I was in
school.
I think I failed up, if thatmakes sense, because I didn't
understand so much going on.
I was just talking to my.
Let's see, I'm all over theplace.
Right now.
My son is 19 years old and he'sgoing to be a freshman in
college.
I was a freshman in college at17.
And I just don't think I wasready for it, right.
(14:43):
I don't think I was developedanywhere near where he is and I
think there's.
It took me seven years to getthrough school, took me forever
and I didn't have any help youknow, so I don't know, is that
ADHD?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
yeah, one really interesting thing about ADHD is
that they have evidence thatADHD children's brains are.
Typically certain regions oftheir brain, like the prefrontal
cortex, develop about threeyears later than their peers.
So it's not that you are lesssmart, but your brain was
(15:17):
catching up to certaindevelopmental milestones like
slower.
So that may be why that youngadulthood really was a little
bit harder for you.
Because, uh, part of the brainthat's impacted by adhd, it
struggles with executivefunctions.
Have you heard that term before?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
no okay.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
So those executive functions are a set of things
that your brain needs to be ableto do, like prioritizing, uh,
motivation, uh, self-management,so things like getting through
the boring tasks of life, um,focus, cognitive flexibility.
All of those things areimpacted by adhd and they
(15:54):
develop slower, so they're allskills that you need to, like
turn your homework in on time,to you know, arrive at class on
time I just would never do do myhomework.
Yeah, yeah.
Right oh yeah, I was that kid.
The reason I got good grades isbecause if I'm interested in
something, I will remember itRight.
I'll remember it for a reallylong time, but I can take a test
(16:15):
and pass it, usually becauseI'm pretty good at like noticing
patterns and context clues.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Well, how do you have ADHD and write a book?
That's impressive.
I can't.
I'll be reading a book.
I read it.
I have so many books.
I'm currently reading sevenbooks, seven or eight books, and
I can't get through one.
I read the same page over andover and over again.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Is that?
Do you have that too?
Um, you know, I've alwaysactually loved to read if I like
what I'm reading.
If it's a boring book, I willDNF that book like so fast.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I won't make myself push through, but I was always a
reader growing up, um, I I'vealways really loved to write, so
that helped.
So are you like a low levelADHD?
Because you seem really no, I'mvery yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I'm very good at masking my ADHD.
That's, I think, why it took meso long to get diagnosed is
because I figured out reallyearly.
I went to Catholic schoolgrowing up and girls like me
that questioned authority andwanted to do things differently,
like we didn't have the bestoutcomes in terms of have you
had ADHD issues, like in yourmarriage.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Is there a side effect of that?
Like yes.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I there definitely is .
I wrote about it a little bitin my book.
My husband is extremelyneurotypical, very responsible.
He's like we're like yin andyang, I feel like.
And it worked out really wellin a lot of ways because he's
helped me get through themundane things in life, because
he's so organized and I'vehelped him be more fun, like I'm
(17:38):
the fun one in the marriage?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Did that just happen or did you seek him out I?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
think we kind of figured that out right away.
I actually was probablyattracted to people that were
more chaotic earlier in my life.
Like he was the first likeresponsible person that I found
a connection with.
But I think I knew what Ineeded and it worked out really
well, I think, for both of us.
Worked out really well, I thinkfor both of us.
(18:06):
But sometimes we do come intoconflict.
Where I need to be able tooperate in the cycles that make
sense for my brain, like I'llget really hyper, focused on a
project and see it through andthat will be my life for like
four days and then I'm like apotato for a couple of days and
even like the most basic thingscan be hard for me at times,
like unloading the dishwasher,making a meal like just the
everyday life things.
Can be hard for me at times,like unloading the dishwasher,
(18:27):
making a meal like just theeveryday life things, because
ADHD brains are driven byinterest and that stuff is not
interesting, whereas my husband,like it, feels so foreign to me
he can wake up in the morningand, like, start unloading the
dishwasher.
I would never be able to dothat.
I can wake up in the morning, Ihave to drink a cup of coffee,
which is a stimulant which isbasically what ADHD meds are and
(18:47):
then I have to go for a run andthen I have to do four more
things before I can even facelike some of those more mundane
things of life.
So him not understanding whyI'm this way caused some
conflict and me notunderstanding why he's not more
impulsive and fun and like readyto just like let life happen.
(19:08):
Um, you know, at times was hard, but overall I think we have
found a good partnership becausewe appreciate each other's
differences do you have?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
is this a symptom of ADHD?
I think.
I think I saw that it is pilesof stuff yes, I have piles all
over my house.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, you know, and that can be a lot of things.
I think what probably ishappening with we call them doom
piles like things that justaccumulate.
Sometimes we don't realize it,but we're afraid to put things
away because it's out of sight,out of mind for us.
I mentioned working memoryearlier.
So working memory is like it'snot your short-term memory, but
(19:45):
it's kind of like that.
It's more like the scratch padin your brain that has the steps
needed to like work throughsomething, and our working
memory is trash.
So we might like have a itemand be like okay, I need to go
put it somewhere, but ourbrain's not going to hold on to
where we put it later.
(20:06):
So if we put something in adrawer and we need it later, we
don't know where it is.
So that's why we have so manythings out in in the doom pile,
because if we can see it, weremember it exists is that in
here?
yeah, oh, there's a wholechapter on that stuff.
Oh, really, my wife gets.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
She's used to it now, but she she'll be like like
I'll have all my piles.
And then let's say we're havinga function or people over, then
my pile goes into a box andthat box goes in the garage and
if I ever need something I hadto go through my piles of boxes
to see what all the things are.
I have piles of clothes, I havepiles of vitamins, I have piles
of everything all over thehouse and it's frustrating and I
feel bad for her.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Because she likes to keep it clean.
She's really.
She sounds like your husband.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
She's really butt down.
Yeah, he would love to not seemy clutter.
But like if he puts my vitaminsaway?
I don't take my vitamins for amonth.
I forget that they're there.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Like you know, they is so crazy I don't remember if
I already took my vitamins.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's working memory .
It freaking blew my mind.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I was like I thought maybe it was the beginning of
dementia, but I was like I thinkI took them.
I don't remember.
It was a couple hours ago.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, it happens to me all the time.
I'll be like did I take that?
I comes in like the old peopleones where they just like divide
it out.
Right.
Use those for your vitamins,because then if it's gone for
Tuesday, you know you took it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah but see, that's something like I don't want to
do.
If I travel, I set up the pillstuff but, I just take them all
one.
I don't know.
I just I don't like to do.
I can't explain it, but it'show about this.
What about?
Is there a symptom that's?
Is it ADHD or is it also likeadult autism?
Have you heard of that one yet?
Like, how do you know thedifference between that?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, they're kind of like a Venn diagram.
There's a lot of overlap, so itcan be very tricky.
I would say, if you suspecteither, getting evaluated is
really, really helpful.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But I don't want to go like.
I went online, took a littlequiz and it was like it said
that I had.
I already got the psychiatristtold me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I had adhd, but the online quiz said I might have
the adult autism okay, but Idon't, you know, it's an online
quiz.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I've taken those online quizzes yeah, I mean it's
tough.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
I'm not an expert on autism.
I do have, uh, autistic familymembers and you know the
community is so overlappingbecause a lot of people with
ADHD have both.
We call that odd-HD now.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh, I never heard that before.
What's that Odd-ADHD?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, au, like I don't know if I'm getting the
acronym right, but yeah, that issomething that they're seeing
more and more.
I actually think that yearsfrom now, we'll realize like
these neurodiverse brains don'talways fit in one box or the
other.
But there are a lot of symptomsthat you know typically are put
in the autism box, but manypeople with ADHD experience like
(23:01):
getting overstimulated.
I don't know if that happens toyou.
It happens to me a lot wherelike certain environments where,
when I, when I, was like takingmy kids to the bounce house
place when they were little andthere's like the noise from the
bounce house and screaming kidsand like someone's talking to me
over here.
Like I could handle it when Iwas in the moment my I would be
exhausted, like my brain wouldbe right parties, new Year's Eve
(23:22):
parties, fourth of July partiesI don't need them yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I don't.
I have to go to a lot offunctions and I just dread that
stuff Like you're exhausted,afterwards Exhausted.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm pretty extroverted, but I still feel
like I need to recover fromthings like that.
And that, I think, has more todo again with that filtering
system in our brain.
It's not filtering outeverything that's going on
around us in the same waysomeone else's brain is, so
we're like it's letting in morenoise.
It's letting in more noise,it's letting in more light.
We're feeling all of that more,and so we get overstimulated
more easily.
That is typically under theautism umbrella as like an
(23:55):
official symptom, but there'soverlap there.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Yeah, I used to.
I remember being a kid goingI'm making this all about me.
I'm sorry, but I remember goingto old Tucson.
Do you ever been to old Tucson?
It's like old Western yep, whenI was a kid and the the guns
was too loud I never likedfireworks.
I never wanted anything, allthat stuff.
But, um, so this book, is thisyour first book?
Yeah, and, and when did it comeout and how do you get it?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
almost exactly a year ago, oh wow it is uh on amazon.
Barnesandnoblecom target a lotof independent bookstores have
it, it's pretty.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Is it self-published?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
no, no, no I I went with a traditional publisher wow
, that's great.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
And so what's your background like?
Where did you like you?
What's your?
You're not a doctor, or are youa doctor?
So you're an?
I just called you an adhdexpert.
But what, like you studied?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
you have a psychology degree I do have a psychology
degree.
I did not get it to study ADHD.
I think I got it because I waslike what is going on in my
brain?
I don't know what's happeninghere, but I've always been
interested in how people so youfelt different your whole life.
Oh, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, I just felt and I couldn't pinpoint it.
There were times when I wasgoing through things in my early
adulthood where I would liketalk to my doctor and they'd be
like I think you're anxious, Ithink this is anxiety and I was
like I'm not, though likesometimes I get like
situationally I'll be anxiousfor, you know, a big interview
or something like that, but Ididn't feel like that fit.
I didn't feel like.
(25:19):
I felt like I was depressedsometimes, but not like overall
are you okay being alone?
um, it depends.
Now that I'm around people somuch, I like it a lot more.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
You like being alone.
A lot more being alone.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm kind of that
ambivert personality where Ilike I do need people, but
sometimes I need to be by myself.
I can self-entertain prettyeasily, but yeah, I definitely
felt really different.
I would even have people belike why do you think that way?
(25:54):
Like, why are you like this?
And I'm like I don't know.
Do you have a lot of friends?
I was.
I had a decent amount offriends, some of them.
Friendships didn't always lastvery long.
I felt like I would have reallyintense friendships and then
there would be like amiscommunication.
I was really bad at rememberingpeople's birthdays you, if I
moved, it was kind of like thatperson disappeared, even though
they didn't mean a lot to me.
(26:15):
I was bad about keeping megrowing up?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
did you move a lot growing up?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I moved when I was in like right before high school.
I actually moved to arizonafrom michigan and then I moved
for college and then I movedafter college and then I came
back here.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So you went to high school where chandler- Chandler
High.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
So did I?
No way, really.
Yeah, oh my gosh, get out ofhere.
That's wild.
What why?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
You're a wolf.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Yep Back when it was the only high school in Chandler
yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I went to Chandler Junior High.
Okay, so I went to Knox.
So this is I went to KnoxElementary School.
So in fifth grade I in tucson.
Okay, sixth grade I was inchandler.
Then you go to challenge yourhigh and it's seventh, eighth
and ninth grade challenge yourhigh.
Then, chandler, high is 10thgrade, right.
And then after 10th grade Imoved to los angeles for 11th
(27:01):
grade then then I moved to sandiego for 12th grade.
Okay, it sucks to be movingaround like that all the time
yeah but my close friends arehere, you know here.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I had a very similar experience because I went to
Catholic school in Michigan andit ended at sixth grade.
I went to seventh grade at likethe public junior high in the
town.
I lived at moved here foreighth grade, um which I went to
Anderson junior high, which wasalso seven, eight, nine so I
felt so ripped off because I waslike I'm gonna be in high
school and then I was like movedhere and I'm like, no, nope you
(27:33):
got an extra year junior highand then I went to Chandler High
, so it was a lot of transitionand I think that made it really
hard.
Uh, but and you know, that wasbefore we had cell phones you
know, it was in the pager era,but even as an adult, um, I I
was very close with, I think,the people that like got me, but
like if I had an acquaintanceor a friend where I felt like I
(27:56):
just you know, kind of never gotpast the small talk phase with
them, I kind of had no problemlike leaving them behind when
what?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
about as an adult.
Do you have new friends now?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
yeah, yeah, I'm pretty social, yeah me too it's
kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I I have a couple friends from when I was growing
up in chandler, since I've knownhim since sixth, seventh grade,
pretty close, and then nothingin the later years of life.
No friends from college, acouple of friends when I got in
the radio career, but notnothing really.
But now as as a I call myself,like now as a grown-up, I I have
like two or three new friendsthat I just adore, yeah, I love
(28:31):
hanging out with them.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
It's weird.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I've never had that before.
Oh, that's awesome.
I don't know if that's an ADHDthing or maybe it's kind of
weird.
I feel like, like sometimes Ifeel like I'm not as old as I am
.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That is actually so wild that you said that because
when I was taking my courses tobecome an adhd coach, one of the
first modules they were likepeople with adhd look and act
younger, even as adults.
I was like what, how do we lookand act younger?
You?
know that makes no sense to me,um, but I do think it is some of
that like curiosity.
That is part of our brain.
Like, like I mentioned earlier,our brain is driven by interest
, not importance.
(29:10):
That's part of our brain.
Like I mentioned earlier, ourbrain is driven by interest, not
importance.
That's what gets our brainactivated.
That's what gets the dopaminegoing.
So, because of that, we'realways curious and learning new
things and wanting to have newexperiences, and I just think
we're more open to how theculture is evolving.
You have kids, right, they'reall teenagers.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
They're 22, 21, and 19.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah, and I bet you're like the cool dad that
like knows kind of more likewhat's going on with them, right
?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
But sometimes I have this moment where I'm like, oh
my God, I can't believe I'm adad.
Am I ready to be a dad?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, like you, don't felt like I was running around,
Like I'm a mom People think I'mresponsible, my kids get to
school on time but I was likethey're going to find out.
They're going to find out thatthis is not real.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
That's exactly how I feel Like I can't believe
sometimes that I'm a dad.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense tome, Like I don't think I'm
mature enough to be a dad.
It like I want to.
I try to.
I now I I make an effort toparent right.
I make an effort to have arelationship with my kids and
sometimes I take each one ofthem and I try to give them
wisdom that I have.
(30:17):
But I don't think it comes outthat way.
Like my father always had greatgems of wisdom for me that were
fantastic and and it doesn't, Idon't think it comes out the
same way when I give it to themlike when.
I pass.
Are my kids that?
Oh, dad used to say this allthe time.
Dad was right about this.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Like.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't know if I have that, because I feel like
I'm still them.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah.
You know, but I think that youprobably are guiding them in a
way that you just can't seeright now.
I think that you know, justfrom talking to a lot of parents
, I think we all feel like thatto a big degree and usually you
see it more and like how younotice them interacting with
(30:57):
other people.
You see your wisdom there versusthem telling you that that
they're picking up on it.
But I mean not to be like aparasocial stalker from from
listening to the radio andhearing about your family, it
seems like you.
You have strong relationships.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I think so.
I think it's like you as strongrelationships.
I think so.
I think I have strongrelationships and your kids like
you as a person.
Yeah, I think so.
A lot of dads can say that.
Well like, sometimes I get myfeelings hurt when, like, my
kids go hang out with theirfriends and then their friend's
dad, yeah, I'm like, hey, younever come hang out with me.
Aw, how many kids do you have?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I have three.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
And does ADHD?
Is it genetic?
Can it go down the line?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
It's about the statistics are.
85% of kids with ADHD have aparent that has ADHD.
Two out of my three arediagnosed with ADHD.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Oh wow, did you diagnose them, like you knew.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Not really.
So I was actually diagnosedafter my daughter was that's
sort of how I realized I hadADHD was filling out her
paperwork, I was like they'retalking about me too, and when I
you know she was a lot youngerwhen she was diagnosed.
It's been many, many years now,but I remember thinking like
(32:02):
I'm not going to be able to helpher and really like let this
awesome kid I was seeing infront of me like live up to who
she was meant to be if I don'tfix my own shit oh wow I don't
know if you need to edit that ornot, but I you know, when I
went through that process, itwas a big awakening for me
because I really had context forall the things that I was
(32:23):
struggling with for so long butdidn't really understand.
I had been very into likepersonal development and trying
to like fix what I felt likewere things that were a problem.
Uh, and then I had this likechild who had some things that
she was really struggling withbut also had like the biggest
personality of anyone I've evermet.
Like.
She had these amazing qualitiesbut they were so blocked by the
(32:46):
other things that were givingher issues at school and things
like that, so has she been ableto cope.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Now You've been able to help her.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
She is amazing.
I mean, every kid has their kidthings that they do.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
She's 16.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
But she is really blossomed.
She is such a doer.
I feel like she gets a lot ofreally great feedback from
coaches and for the people thatshe works for.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Oh, she has me.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, she is such a problem solver.
She's like such a busy beeworker.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
What sport is she in?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
She's a cheerleader, oh wow, yeah, so she is.
She's thriving.
I think that a lot of that isjust empowering her to live into
the things that she's strong onand, like, let go of
expectations around things thatdon't matter as much, oh, that's
good, let me ask you this aboutADHD.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
And it's so funny because I knew I was obviously.
I knew I was going to interviewyou and I started to be
self-aware of certain things andso I thought today something
happened.
I go, I'm going to ask her ifthis is ADHD.
So, like I said, one of thethings I tried to do was get my
yeah yeahs out before I camehere so I could be calm.
And where I came here so Icould be calm, and I was on the
treadmill and I put together aplaylist of music that I like
(33:51):
and I'm either one or the other.
I can either listen to the samesong a hundred times in a row
or I can listen to a hundredsongs just the beginning parts
my favorite parts.
And today it was all my favoriteparts of songs.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I would just go.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
I'd start the treadmill like this part of the
song.
Go to the next part.
Go to the next part.
Go to the next part Are thosesymptoms.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, I mean honestly .
You're describing exactly howit is in the car with me and my
daughter.
We're like literally over and,over and over again on one song,
or it's like skip this part.
It's boring.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Next part, you know I can listen negative to have
ADHD.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
I mean it really depends on your environment and
your circumstances.
It definitely can be for peoplethat don't have the context of
why certain things are wrong,for people you know that may
have found themselves in a jobor career that doesn't fit their
strengths that come with theirbrain and has a lot of tasks
that are requiring high levelfocus all of the time.
(34:52):
If you're in a career that'sreally boring, you're probably
going to have a hard timesticking with.
That that's true, and you canexperience a lot of like you
know job hopping or you know therelationship thing you brought
up.
That can be a problem if youdon't understand how you operate
Sleep, oh my gosh, sleep is abig topic is it?
(35:12):
Um, sleep is so tough becausethe better you're sleeping with
adhd, the better your brain'sgonna function are you?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
do you monitor your sleep?
I am obsessed with sleep yeah,okay, so give me tips.
What do you mean?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I mean now I have to do like 100 things to sleep.
Good, and if they're allworking, they work.
But to back it up a little bit,something that is really hard
for people with ADHD is kind oflike getting our brain to power
down at night.
Oftentimes, like as soon as weclose our eyes, we've got new
ideas, we're like thinking aboutthe next day, we're planning a
(35:47):
business, we're having anxietyabout being on time tomorrow,
Like there's all these thingsgoing on.
Our brains are so busy withADHD.
So I think it's reallyimportant to like process some
of that before you go to sleep.
I like to give myself like timeto kind of transition out of my
day and for me that usually likeI have to pick the first thing
I'm doing the next day.
I need to pick the first thingI'm doing the next day.
(36:08):
I need to know what that is sothat my brain's not thinking
about that when I'm trying tosleep.
I need to like kind of do anactivity that's not super boring
but not super stimulating, ifthat makes sense.
Like I can't watch some crazydocumentary right before bed,
because then I'm going to go onReddit and read about the crazy
documentary and then I'm goingto be thinking about it and I'm
(36:30):
not going to be able to sleep.
So I have to do something kindof like low-key, calmer than
that, and then to actually go tosleep, I take magnesium.
I have earpods with a soundscapein my ears every night.
It's really hard for me tosleep if they're not charged
which is also a problem withADHD because sometimes I forget
to put them back in the morning.
I have to fall asleep before myhusband because he will like be
(36:55):
moving around and waking me up,and if all of that is working I
can sleep pretty good.
But it's tough.
I have teenagers.
I'm waiting for them to gethome, like, and then I, you know
that for them to get home, like, and then I, you know that just
kind of disrupts everything,and then I feel the impact.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Wear an aura ring or a whoop or do you.
My watch tracks my sleep oh, itdoes, and so do you success.
Do you think you sleep prettywell it depends.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yeah, it depends on what's going on in my life, like
also being female hormonally,like I've noticed different
patterns.
But yeah, and it also dependson, like how, if I'm doing all
the things I know that help, ifI'm exercising, if I'm like not
eating right before bedtime, ifI, if one little thing kind of
falls, apart.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Exactly like you, yeah, tough, exactly like that.
I don't like to watch anything.
I'm doing that whole thing nowwhere I'm trying to get away
from my phone an hour or twofrom the bed.
But there's just so much alwayshappening.
I'm trying to not be addictedto my phone.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
And that's a tough one.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
It's tough.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
It's really tough because we're so connected and a
couple times.
I was just talking about thison my radio show the other day.
Whenever I get away from myphone for a couple hours when I
come back, I really didn't missmuch.
Nope.
Whenever I get away from myphone for a couple hours when I
come back, I really didn't missmuch, nope you know, Except for
one time.
I went away for three days andI didn't put my phone away for
three days and I missed a wholebunch.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah yeah, striking that balance is hard.
I think that people with ADHDcan benefit a lot from having
some roles around that forthemselves.
Like for me, I really try toread at night or watch something
really like kind of familiar.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
I think reading really helps clear the brain.
Yeah, reading is the best, butit's hard for me to do that.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah, sometimes I fall asleep reading, which I
think isn't necessarily a badthing, because then I can just
sleep Do you drink alcohol.
I like alcohol, but I'm tryingnot to drink very much of it
because, especially as I'vegotten older, I definitely
that's what my watch tells mehas the biggest impact on my
sleep.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yeah, big time.
Well, what about, like when youback in your days, whenever you
were partying and you woulddrink, could you see, did you
see, effects of AD?
Like when I look back, like mycollege days?
I don't know if I had, I meanI'm sure I had it but I don't
(39:14):
know, you just live in life.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Yeah, I didn't know that I wasn't getting things
done right.
I don't know, is theresomething like that?
Like, did you have that?
I mean, I definitely feel likeI relate to just getting through
college on vibes.
Um, I went to Northern Arizona.
Um, I had a lot of fun incollege, but I did also drink a
lot and I, you know, I I passed.
I probably didn't do as well asI could have.
Uh, it's hard to separate, likewhat was the?
You know, I passed.
I probably didn't do as well asI could have.
It's hard to separate, likewhat was the problem?
You know what I mean.
Like if it was drinking toomuch in college or if it was not
(39:36):
sleeping, or all of thosethings.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I always had this thing where I was like I wish I
could go back, because now Iknow how important it was.
Like at the time I was just Idon't know what I was doing, but
I mean that part of it, Ithought it's because I was 17.
Yeah, like man, I need to, Ineed to go back.
This is important but it's toolate.
(39:59):
I'm already this far down theroad, I can't go back.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (40:03):
yeah, I mean I talked to a lot of people that were
diagnosed later in life orpeople that were diagnosed
younger but like really didn'tunderstand what was going on
with them, and they sometimeshave a lot of grief for like, oh
, if I had known this, I couldhave done this differently.
But I think that kind ofapplies to a lot of humans,
whether it's adhd or not, rightlike we don't know what we know
(40:23):
until we know it, and sometimesthat information finds us later
in life.
So I do think it's better, if welike, focus on the future
versus.
I mean, we got to heal stufffrom the past, but there's
nothing we can do to go back andchange that.
Um, and there's probably goodlessons and things you learned
from.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
You know the mistakes you've had too right, you seem
very calm, though you know likeI'm trying.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I'm trying not to move it depends on what day you
find me.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
You said earlier so you'd listened to my radio show,
right?
And then earlier, before we satdown, you started to say
something.
I was like wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
So you said, like you've listened to the show
enough to know about ADHD, me,my personality yeah, I mean you
mention ADHD a lot, I thinkactually I haven't been
listening as regularly nowbecause I was listening a lot
when I was driving my teenagersbecause it was appropriate for
them.
But now I've got my little11-year-old who, like you know
he doesn't need to be listeningto a second date update, but I
(41:22):
was listening this morningbecause I knew I was going to be
talking to you and youmentioned ADHD, did I?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
mention it this morning.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, someone called in and talked about like they
have a partner that theyappreciate because they have
ADHD and it's hard for them tolike make meals for themselves
and do things like that yeah andthat came up.
But you know I had beenlistening to you for a long time
.
You were always my like commuteto work show and you listening
(41:48):
to you for a long time.
You were always my like commuteto work show and you guys made
me late for work a lot becauseI'd be in the car and I'd be
like I gotta find out what'shappening on the roses, I can't
go in there, um.
But you know it was interestingas a listener, like hearing you
kind of slip it in, talk aboutit here and there, and then once
I was like getting my diagnosisand understanding adhd and then
moving into the field, I waslike this makes sense, like and
that's something I try not to do, it too much unless people have
(42:09):
disclosed that they have ADHDbut like, oftentimes I meet
people and when they find outwhat I do, they're like oh, I
have ADHD too and I'm kind oflike, yeah, I knew it, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Like you say what you do, how would you classify what
you do?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
so like the work I'm doing.
So I do focus on writing quitea bit, so I have my book.
I also do articles and thingslike that.
I do a lot of speakingengagements.
Really, what I am, I feel like,is an advocator and educator on
ADHD.
I do talks to organizations tohelp them understand their ADHD
(42:45):
employees and how to accommodatethem.
I do some coaching, so I workwith individuals and groups as
well.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
So I might have somebody on the show that has
worse ADHD than me so there's away to talk to them to
communicate with them.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
What's a?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
tip for that.
For what someone should do,yeah how do you talk to someone
that has ad?
How do you coach someone thathas adhd?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
so coaching is really a lot about helping guide the
client to strategies that aregoing to work for them.
So usually if I'm going to workwith a client, I'm going to
figure out a little bit aboutwhat their goals are and I'm
going to talk to them about likekind of the outcomes they're
looking for, and then I'm goingto ask them a lot of questions
and help them kind of get to thebottom of what's not working
(43:30):
and create pathways that willwork for them, and then that
that's all coaching right.
That's sort of the modalitywith ADHD coaching.
I'm also trained to look atthat through like the ADHD lens.
So a person might come in andthey're trying to build a new
business or something like that,and they've read all these
books that this is the way to doit right, and they're like,
(43:52):
really like I'm not doing it,but they're really going to need
to get rid of that frameworkthat was built for people with
more neurotypical brains andbuild a framework that makes
sense for their ADHD brain, andI'm there to help them find
those answers.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
You know what's funny ?
Because when you say that, Ithink about how every morning we
have a meeting before the showstarts and I go over with
everybody where.
So we have a show sheet ofwhere things are going to happen
at certain times.
And I don't know why maybe it'sthe ADHD brain but I'll say
we're doing this at 6.05.
And you would think that I'mgonna go here's what we're doing
(44:27):
at 620.
Instead, I go to 830 and thenI'll go to 720 and I go.
I go to these different timesand everyone follows me.
Now they get it because I, butI'm sometimes I'll go.
Why am?
Why am I?
Why can't I just go in order?
Yeah, like, does that makesense?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
yeah, our brains are not linear brains, our brains
are like I always say we don'tthink in a straight line, we
think in a spider web.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
So yeah, boy, that is good because man, my, my wife,
frustrated with my calendar.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
When.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
I put something on my phone.
I might have a meeting at oneo'clock on Wednesday and I'll
make it for 11 on Thursday.
I know exactly when it is, Iknow where I gotta be, but I and
she just does not understand it.
What about do you do this withyour alarm clock?
I have a weird system for myalarm clock.
So I get up at 3.15 in themorning, but I set my clock so
(45:14):
it says 3.45.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
But it's really 3.15.
So when I get up it drives mywife crazy Not now, but she's
used to it.
But that way when I get up andI go brush my teeth it says 3 45
on the clock.
But when I get up to go brushmy teeth I'm like oh, it's 320.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
I'm way ahead of myself yeah, and you're excited
you have bonus time now.
Yes, but what's happening?
There is, uh, I mentioned theadhd brain is motivated by
interest.
It's also motivated by urgency.
So when you're waking up at 345, your brain's a little bit
like oh crap, I'm late.
Yeah, so you need that urgency.
Your brain's releasing dopamineand that gets you out of bed.
And then, once you realize youhave time, you're like okay,
(45:51):
it's cool, but the problem issometimes we figure out our own
tricks Right and then they don'twork anymore.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
This is so good.
Yeah, you know what's funny.
It all makes sense.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
I I totally feel not alone right now.
Oh good, that was a huge goalof mine, because when I realized
I had ADHD, I thought I waslike the only corporate mom of
three that was dealing with this.
And then I started havingconversations with people.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
But you don't want to change anything, do you I?
Speaker 2 (46:15):
don't Not now.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
I don't either.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
You know I might have had a different answer if you
asked me at a different point inmy life.
But now that I understand mystrengths, my values, I stopped
kind of like doing things justbecause I should and the world
was telling me this is the rightway and I started doing things
in a way that worked for me.
I appreciate how my brain iswired.
It would be impossible for meto say I needed to change having
(46:41):
ADHD.
When I look at my kids thathave ADHD and I think they're
amazing.
Like I don't want them to change.
Having ADHD when I look at mykids that have ADHD, I think
they're amazing.
I don't want them to change.
I want them to learn aboutthemselves and, you know, really
be able to thrive.
But I don't want them to change.
I don't want them to have adifferent brain.
I wouldn't ask them to bedifferent.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Can you remember conversations?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
It depends if they were good conversations.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Let's say I had a meeting with somebody and I had
great news, and then I was goingto tell Rich my partner you're
not going to believe this.
I had this great meeting withso-and-so.
What happened and I rememberlike chunks of it.
I remember all of it, or likeon the way here, I had this
great meeting about a possibleinvestment that I wanted to do.
And I can't wait to tell mywife, and I kind of forgot about
it already.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
I know I'm gonna not tell her the important stuff.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Does that make sense?
Like I'm gonna miss chunks ofit.
I didn't write it down I don'tknow.
I feel.
I feel like I'm gonna rememberit, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
I don't remember anything yeah, sometimes we
trust our brains more than weshould.
Yes, yeah, it is.
I think that's what's sointeresting about adhd it's not
that we can't remember things,but sometimes we're not always
remembering the right things.
Like you might remember, likethat you really liked that guy's
outfit or his shoes.
But like the important, likewhen do I need to, like you know
, do this thing to make thisother thing happen?
(47:53):
Sometimes that's not clickingas much because in that moment
that wasn't as interesting asthe other stuff that was going
on in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
What's the thing in your book?
Uh, your other thing,hummingbird.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
You're a sort of hummingbird company so the name
of my coaching practice isHummingbird ADHD, hummingbird
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Yeah, yeah, that's funny, I couldn't remember the
ADHD part.
Why Hummingbird?
Speaker 2 (48:12):
This is kind of a long story.
I'll try to make it a littlebit shorter.
But when I was doing mycoaching certification classes,
I had started them in 2019, andthen I was still working at the
time, so I had taken a break,and then the next class I took
was in March 2020.
And so all of a sudden, I'mtaking this course and all my
(48:33):
kids are home.
Like my house is chaotic, and soI ended up taking a lot of the
calls in my backyard and therewere all these like hummingbirds
flying around around me, and Igot really curious about
hummingbirds during one of thecalls what I should have been
paying attention and I wassidebarring, googling
hummingbirds and I found outthey have really interesting,
(48:55):
unique brains, um, and that kindof all came together for me.
I thought it was like a coolmoment to understand like these
are cool creatures, right,they're very unique and I'm glad
they exist, and that's how Ifeel about the ADHD.
I thought it was like a coolmoment to understand Like these
are cool creatures, right,they're very unique and I'm glad
they exist, and that's how Ifeel about the ADHD brain.
It's unique, it needs to behere and we just need to
understand it better sometimes.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
That's great, so people can hire you, go to
Hummingbird ADHD or go get thisbook.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
And in there they can hire.
You Come into corporations andtry to.
Here's how you deal withsomeone that has adhd mind or
coach individuals or coachgroups or sneak places and doing
it all because I saw thismorning you know I was.
I saw you post this morning oninstagram.
They had all these things todayand I was like, oh man, is she
gonna cancel my interview?
Speaker 2 (49:42):
you did stuff already today yeah, I spoke at a summit
uh for adhd adults todayearlier, which was really fun.
That was online, though, so Ididn't even have to leave my
house.
But yeah, I do webinars forcorporations, I coach private
clients.
I also have a community uh foradults with adhd and we do a lot
of like getting together on azoom and planning our week so
that we have accountability okay.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
So so for me, if I don't know, if I have adhd, but
I I'm over zooms, I can't dozoom yeah, yeah is that an adhd
thing?
Speaker 2 (50:08):
because you know I I work on zoom, so I don't like to
do a lot of other zooms, Ireally prefer in person um, like
this podcast people.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
Oh yeah, I'll do a zoom.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, you gotta come in person is always better for
me, but, like uh, usually mostof my coaching is done over zoom
right now, just because of Icoach clients everywhere oh okay
, but do you have big groups too, like everyone?
Yeah, I do group coaching andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah, so you'll have like today.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You spoke for how many people on your webinar um,
I wasn't running the webinar soI don't know on the back end,
but I think it was a couplehundred logged into that today
you have a beginning, middle endto a speech, like you have a
here's I have different talks.
So today it was a panel, so itwas more interview based, kind
of like doing a podcast withseveral people, basically.
But for if I go into acorporation or something like
(50:56):
that, it depends on what theywant me to talk about.
But I have, you know, a talk onunderstanding ADHD at work, so
understanding how your employeesoperate, what accommodations
work for them, how employees canaccommodate themselves.
And then I have some things onentrepreneurship that I speak on
.
I have a really good talk aboutum, adhd and over optimization
(51:21):
and how we, like, can go downrabbit holes and try to over
optimize and uh, that's a reallyfun one that I like to present
to like groups of entrepreneursand people that are kind of
interested.
So in this short amount of timeyou've done quite a bit yeah
right, I mean, I mean the book,webinars and all in 2020, since
2020 yeah, I mean I I startedkind of dipping my toes in about
(51:42):
2019, but yeah, wow,congratulations for.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
So how would you rate this whole podcast today?
As far as the ADHD Was it, wasthis a good podcast it was good.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yeah, I mean most of the time I am talking to people
with ADHD, so I like that better.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
So you would say right now, in this interview I
told you that I had a therapisttell me, I have ADHD.
You would say to me right nowthat I have ADHD.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
I am not a doctor.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Just for like legal purposes.
But I think the signs are there.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
You know what I'm happy about it.
Yeah, I'm happy about it.
Well, thank you for coming onthe podcast.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
This is a whole new thing for me and this is such a
great cover and such a greatname.
It all makes sense now.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Amazon wherever right , okay, thank you so much thanks
okay, so welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
This is a little bit different today, because this
podcast is a spin-off of ourradio show you.
Popular Podcasts
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com