June 3, 2024 • 14 mins
What if one decision could change your entire life? In this heartfelt episode, I share my raw and personal journey of battling depression and overcoming addiction. After months of being MIA, I'm thrilled to celebrate a milestone—23 days clean from my porn addiction. Join me as I candidly discuss the ups and downs of my recovery, the strategies that helped me stay on track, and the invaluable lessons I've learned along the way. From mental health struggles to the importance of a positive mindset, this conversation promises to be both honest and inspiring.
Additionally, I'm excited to announce a shift in the podcast format. Moving towards a solo setup for now, I'll be sharing my insights on business strategies and mindset development, incorporating lessons from past guests and my own experiences. I'll also introduce you to Speech2TO, an incredible tool that has significantly aided my recovery and writing process. Whether you're looking for business tips, personal growth insights, or just to catch up, this episode offers a genuine and motivating experience that you won't want to miss.
if you enjoyed the show be sure to check out my info:
https://app.wingcard.io/ROB3SA64
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, hello everybody.
It has been a while.
I did a whole sad story flashin the pan, I'm back, everybody
and then once the smoke settled,he was gone.
He was depressed.
That's why but I'm better nowPart of me going MIA for a
couple months there was well thefirst part in the previous
(00:23):
episode and just going throughthe withdrawal breakups and just
reeling from that and my pornaddiction and what I've recently
been doing which is why I wantto talk is I have officially
made it to the point when I hitpublication on will be 23 days
clean.
(00:43):
Um, I haven't used, I haven'trelapsed and um, so I'll.
I'll glance over that, but ifit is interesting to you all, um
, uh, my website is down, by theway.
I have to figure out how tobuild a new one, um, so I would
say, message me on the website,but you can hit me up on
joshbolton show at gmailcom.
(01:04):
I think I put a link in thedescription that has my Google
voice number too.
So, yes, if you actually wantedto text me no one's ever taken
me up on that, but if you everwant to do that, you can also
tell me there.
But the surefire way is throughemail joshboltonshow at
(01:24):
gmailcom.
Other than that, I've decidedwith the show I'm going to go
more of a solo podcast for now,kind of like what I did when I
first started.
It's important for me to justget back behind the mic.
I am not recording this time.
I am a hot mess.
My room is just a disaster, soit would not be YouTube visually
(01:47):
appealing.
But the next episode I willrecord and post it to YouTube.
Wow, that was a long slip.
Yeah, I will post it to YouTubeand have everything there.
What I'm thinking of doing isretooling it.
When it's the solo podcast ismy personal recovery and some
experiences in and insights, butalso because I'm mostly
(02:09):
business talk about the business, businesses, strategies and
methods.
I have learned from all myguests and eventually, if I'm
able to get some guests on.
But currently, with my schedulebeing so unpredictable of work,
I don't want to commit to atime and then be like whoopsie,
(02:31):
something came up, can't do therecording and this busy person
actually gave me like an hour oftheir time.
Hard to ask for that back.
So I'd rather just do solountil I can figure things out.
But also I want to get intomindset.
That's a big one, especiallywith business.
You have to have a good mindsetanyways.
You just need to have a goodmindset for life.
(02:53):
I think that's what I want tokind of transition to and have
fun with.
Recently, one of the biggesttools I've been using is this
application called Speech2TO.
Note I honestly I'm using itright now to outline the whole
um podcast.
(03:14):
It's you pretty much especiallywith my ADHD the way the
developers have made this app.
You talk into it and ittranscribes it.
Then it also summarizes yournotes and it'll take all your
run on sentences and just cutthem off.
It's amazing, like this morningI was working with it on
(03:39):
creating an outline for mynonfiction like porn recovery
book line.
For my non-fiction like pornrecovery book.
I can write about all thepsychological stuff because I've
studied that, but I haven'tdone the like 90 days plus.
So I figured by the time I'mdone with it I can credibly say
this is what I'm doing.
Um, and it honestly is like theprompts I've figured out for
(04:00):
this app.
It's amazing.
It's like having a really cheapghostwriter for everything and
it's only getting better withevery update.
So I recommend right now he'sstill having a lifetime deal at
AppSumo.
I'll try to link the AppSumoand just pick up I think it's
(04:22):
like $49 per code and you needtwo codes for the unlimited
unlimited everything.
Um, he is planning on phasingthis out.
Uh, so this grandfather dealwill disappear.
But from what he's told usthough, um, in the future I'll
also link my affiliate link.
Uh, you get the grandfatherpricing.
(04:43):
So it would be a hundred bucksa year for unlimited chat.
Gbt 4.0, by the way, not justthe four turbo 4.0.
It is slick, and, by the way,not just the 4 Turbo 4.0.
It is slick, and yeah.
So a little rant on that, butthat's what's helping me write
my stories and helping meembellish.
(05:04):
When I was mentioning earlierwith the outline for the
recovery nonfiction, I woke upat like 2.30 in the morning
today and I don't know why.
So around three o'clock I wasfully awake and I sat in front
of my laptop and I'm trying totype because I didn't want to
talk and wake up my parents andI couldn't type for my life.
(05:25):
My dyslexia was kicking in sohard and I'm like oh, so I
eventually came back back,cleaned up everything and then
we put it in the speech to noteand had to outline everything
for me, and that made more senseand, my goodness, it saved me.
It would have saved me so muchtime to just do it that way.
But, um, the other reason I'mgoing to bring up the YouTube
(05:48):
channel rebuild is Iaccidentally deleted my old
channel when I had some fraudlast year.
My card got compromised and Iforgot to update my YouTube
music subscription and so I wentin and tried to do it.
It was rejecting it and it wassaying it was the wrong channels
.
One of my sub channels I madeand I was like, okay, delete
(06:10):
that one.
And it's like, all right, cool,delete.
It says you still have too manychannels.
I'm like, all right, delete theother sub channel.
Well, apparently that one wastoo tied to the main channel and
it's deleted both of them.
So all those years of work arekind of gone, like my website
too, just gone, um.
But so I'm going to rebuild it.
(06:30):
I'm going to use speech to noteI'm actually working with the
developer.
He's also a prompt engineer.
He's going to help me with apodcast app, a podcast prompt,
and so this is where I'm goingto use that prompt and the
titles I recommend.
And then I found a AR generator.
(06:52):
I pay him like five bucks amonth.
Um, it's like a californiacoffee.
I don't even drink coffeeanymore, uh.
So I use that and I can.
It's a really interesting app.
Um, it's one of those.
If you're not careful onspecifying what the subject's
supposed to do or look like ahigh probability.
(07:12):
If you're not careful onspecifying what the subject's
supposed to do or look like ahigh probability, if you do not
put a filter in, it'll probablybe a naked subject kind of thing
and it's like oh, that is notwhat I wanted.
So, um, it's very versatile, soI'm going to use that to
generate um images.
Probably eventually I'll getthe OpenAI subscription and work
(07:34):
with DALL E3, like take thatphoto and be like alright,
here's the photo, now, make itbetter, kind of thing.
So, yeah, I'm looking forwardto the rebuild.
Now, doubling back to the guestscheduling problem I mentioned
quickly and just kind of slidover was for me, right now I do
a clean pools, by the way, um,we're hitting summer season, so
(07:58):
it's long, hot and hard and Iusually am just wiped out from
getting home, from just my work,and so I've really my only free
time is on Saturdays.
But to be real and frank,entrepreneurs or whatever like
wanting to promote their stuffon a Saturday morning or evening
(08:21):
.
I don't blame them.
They probably would rather bewith their kids or their family
or their significant other doingevents instead of talking to
this jerk over here.
Um, so that's where I'm goingto.
Also, I'm also working on goingto the gym in the morning
around 5am.
Part of the reason why I wasn'ttotally upset at waking up at
(08:41):
like three in the morning gaveme an hour to work on um, my
stories, and then I went to foran hour total at the gym.
Um, I think I did only like a40 minute workout.
It was legs, though oh boy arethey toasty.
And so that's where I'm tryingto get back in shape.
I realized at a certain pointI'm underfeeding myself, I'm not
(09:04):
exercising, I'm literally justvegging and depressed.
Personal side note part of thereason why I'm doing this
podcast is, in the last sevendays, good old Josh here had
almost three just meltdownsbreak.
I just I was literallyscreaming at an imaginary person
(09:25):
.
I was so angry and crying atthe same person and it just was
like all the emotions.
And I sat there and I was like,first of all, I realized, with
my ADHD and depression but manicdepression.
Uh, I have cycle and I can'tfight the cycle.
It is, it's there, I get.
I've learned to delay it andmake it longer, and that's
(09:48):
something we could probably gointo in another episode of how I
figured that out.
But the cycle is inevitable.
I can't.
I can't get rid of it, kind ofthing.
So, yeah, I just I realized I'mlike I need to do something.
I love I love creating stories,hence the speech, to know.
I love podcasting, hence whyI'm back and I'm going to aim
(10:09):
for twice a week, so there'susually at least two days that
are not too busy and I actuallyget home on time, like today.
Um, and if worse comes to worse, if Wednesday doesn't work out,
I can record something onSaturday, edit it up and post it
, kind of thing, or bulk it,bulk record, I don't know, um,
but that's where I'm excited,especially with AI and the
(10:32):
ranking ability and all that.
It's, it's exciting time.
I feel I feel better, I feeloptimistic and for a long time I
did not feel that optimism andit really bugged me.
But, um, since I mentioned it,I'll I'll double back, probably
the third time.
Now.
My, my first book is, um, well,my porn recovery journey and
(10:57):
outlooks on my strategies andknowledge, um.
But the second one is more thebusiness and morale and
productivity uh, how treatingyour employees well and having a
lower turnover rate actuallyincreases your business profits
and stuff like that.
Contrary to Fortune 500, bigcompanies who practically look
(11:20):
forward to turnover forwrite-off reasons, a lot of
companies medium and small can'tafford that turnover, so it
would be doing that.
But then also a lot of themarketing strategies I've
learned from the show of puttingit into work, words and just
(11:41):
also the customer acquisitionwithout over leveraging yourself
as a young company, how to getcustomers and get them in your
door.
So it's going to be cool, it'sgoing to be a fun journey and
I'm looking forward to sharingit with you guys.
I am doing a separate YouTubechannel, call it Mindful Evolve.
(12:06):
It's essentially just going tobe a really raw, unedited, no
retention, editing or and stufflike that of just me talking
about what I'm going through, soI don't have to flood the josh
bolton show with it, um, butit's also it's me, but it's not
kind of thing.
(12:26):
It's separate from the podcastand that's.
That's another one where I'malso going to test different
strategies to see, oh, if I dothis?
What does it do?
What if I do this split testing?
I love it.
For some reason, I'm reallyinto split testing, um, so yeah,
that's that's about it.
I just want to thank you all forbeing loyal.
I looked at my stats before Ihopped on um and I saw, since I
(12:52):
last posted the previous one,saying oh oh, I'm back, but I'm
not I got at least on Buzzsprout, 40 downloads.
That's huge, like I knowthere's more, I'll put it that
way, but the fact that I can see40 on it is huge.
So, thank you, thank youeveryone.
You mean the world to me and Ilook forward to delivering high
(13:12):
value and high content to you ona more frequent and consistent
basis.
Other than that, love y'all,have a good one Until next time.
Hello, hello everybody.
It has been a while.
I did a whole sad story flashin the pan, I'm back, everybody
and then once the smoke settled,he was gone.
He was depressed.
That's why but I'm better nowPart of me going MIA for a
couple months there was well thefirst part in the previous
(00:23):
episode and just going throughthe withdrawal breakups and just
reeling from that and my pornaddiction and what I've recently
been doing which is why I wantto talk is I have officially
made it to the point when I hitpublication on will be 23 days
clean.
(00:43):
Um, I haven't used, I haven'trelapsed and um, so I'll.
I'll glance over that, but ifit is interesting to you all, um
, uh, my website is down, by theway.
I have to figure out how tobuild a new one, um, so I would
say, message me on the website,but you can hit me up on
joshbolton show at gmailcom.
(01:04):
I think I put a link in thedescription that has my Google
voice number too.
So, yes, if you actually wantedto text me no one's ever taken
me up on that, but if you everwant to do that, you can also
tell me there.
But the surefire way is throughemail joshboltonshow at
(01:24):
gmailcom.
Other than that, I've decidedwith the show I'm going to go
more of a solo podcast for now,kind of like what I did when I
first started.
It's important for me to justget back behind the mic.
I am not recording this time.
I am a hot mess.
My room is just a disaster, soit would not be YouTube visually
(01:47):
appealing.
But the next episode I willrecord and post it to YouTube.
Wow, that was a long slip.
Yeah, I will post it to YouTubeand have everything there.
What I'm thinking of doing isretooling it.
When it's the solo podcast ismy personal recovery and some
experiences in and insights, butalso because I'm mostly
(02:09):
business talk about the business, businesses, strategies and
methods.
I have learned from all myguests and eventually, if I'm
able to get some guests on.
But currently, with my schedulebeing so unpredictable of work,
I don't want to commit to atime and then be like whoopsie,
(02:31):
something came up, can't do therecording and this busy person
actually gave me like an hour oftheir time.
Hard to ask for that back.
So I'd rather just do solountil I can figure things out.
But also I want to get intomindset.
That's a big one, especiallywith business.
You have to have a good mindsetanyways.
You just need to have a goodmindset for life.
(02:53):
I think that's what I want tokind of transition to and have
fun with.
Recently, one of the biggesttools I've been using is this
application called Speech2TO.
Note I honestly I'm using itright now to outline the whole
um podcast.
(03:14):
It's you pretty much especiallywith my ADHD the way the
developers have made this app.
You talk into it and ittranscribes it.
Then it also summarizes yournotes and it'll take all your
run on sentences and just cutthem off.
It's amazing, like this morningI was working with it on
(03:39):
creating an outline for mynonfiction like porn recovery
book line.
For my non-fiction like pornrecovery book.
I can write about all thepsychological stuff because I've
studied that, but I haven'tdone the like 90 days plus.
So I figured by the time I'mdone with it I can credibly say
this is what I'm doing.
Um, and it honestly is like theprompts I've figured out for
(04:00):
this app.
It's amazing.
It's like having a really cheapghostwriter for everything and
it's only getting better withevery update.
So I recommend right now he'sstill having a lifetime deal at
AppSumo.
I'll try to link the AppSumoand just pick up I think it's
(04:22):
like $49 per code and you needtwo codes for the unlimited
unlimited everything.
Um, he is planning on phasingthis out.
Uh, so this grandfather dealwill disappear.
But from what he's told usthough, um, in the future I'll
also link my affiliate link.
Uh, you get the grandfatherpricing.
(04:43):
So it would be a hundred bucksa year for unlimited chat.
Gbt 4.0, by the way, not justthe four turbo 4.0.
It is slick, and, by the way,not just the 4 Turbo 4.0.
It is slick, and yeah.
So a little rant on that, butthat's what's helping me write
my stories and helping meembellish.
(05:04):
When I was mentioning earlierwith the outline for the
recovery nonfiction, I woke upat like 2.30 in the morning
today and I don't know why.
So around three o'clock I wasfully awake and I sat in front
of my laptop and I'm trying totype because I didn't want to
talk and wake up my parents andI couldn't type for my life.
(05:25):
My dyslexia was kicking in sohard and I'm like oh, so I
eventually came back back,cleaned up everything and then
we put it in the speech to noteand had to outline everything
for me, and that made more senseand, my goodness, it saved me.
It would have saved me so muchtime to just do it that way.
But, um, the other reason I'mgoing to bring up the YouTube
(05:48):
channel rebuild is Iaccidentally deleted my old
channel when I had some fraudlast year.
My card got compromised and Iforgot to update my YouTube
music subscription and so I wentin and tried to do it.
It was rejecting it and it wassaying it was the wrong channels
.
One of my sub channels I madeand I was like, okay, delete
(06:10):
that one.
And it's like, all right, cool,delete.
It says you still have too manychannels.
I'm like, all right, delete theother sub channel.
Well, apparently that one wastoo tied to the main channel and
it's deleted both of them.
So all those years of work arekind of gone, like my website
too, just gone, um.
But so I'm going to rebuild it.
(06:30):
I'm going to use speech to noteI'm actually working with the
developer.
He's also a prompt engineer.
He's going to help me with apodcast app, a podcast prompt,
and so this is where I'm goingto use that prompt and the
titles I recommend.
And then I found a AR generator.
(06:52):
I pay him like five bucks amonth.
Um, it's like a californiacoffee.
I don't even drink coffeeanymore, uh.
So I use that and I can.
It's a really interesting app.
Um, it's one of those.
If you're not careful onspecifying what the subject's
supposed to do or look like ahigh probability.
(07:12):
If you're not careful onspecifying what the subject's
supposed to do or look like ahigh probability, if you do not
put a filter in, it'll probablybe a naked subject kind of thing
and it's like oh, that is notwhat I wanted.
So, um, it's very versatile, soI'm going to use that to
generate um images.
Probably eventually I'll getthe OpenAI subscription and work
(07:34):
with DALL E3, like take thatphoto and be like alright,
here's the photo, now, make itbetter, kind of thing.
So, yeah, I'm looking forwardto the rebuild.
Now, doubling back to the guestscheduling problem I mentioned
quickly and just kind of slidover was for me, right now I do
a clean pools, by the way, um,we're hitting summer season, so
(07:58):
it's long, hot and hard and Iusually am just wiped out from
getting home, from just my work,and so I've really my only free
time is on Saturdays.
But to be real and frank,entrepreneurs or whatever like
wanting to promote their stuffon a Saturday morning or evening
(08:21):
.
I don't blame them.
They probably would rather bewith their kids or their family
or their significant other doingevents instead of talking to
this jerk over here.
Um, so that's where I'm goingto.
Also, I'm also working on goingto the gym in the morning
around 5am.
Part of the reason why I wasn'ttotally upset at waking up at
(08:41):
like three in the morning gaveme an hour to work on um, my
stories, and then I went to foran hour total at the gym.
Um, I think I did only like a40 minute workout.
It was legs, though oh boy arethey toasty.
And so that's where I'm tryingto get back in shape.
I realized at a certain pointI'm underfeeding myself, I'm not
(09:04):
exercising, I'm literally justvegging and depressed.
Personal side note part of thereason why I'm doing this
podcast is, in the last sevendays, good old Josh here had
almost three just meltdownsbreak.
I just I was literallyscreaming at an imaginary person
(09:25):
.
I was so angry and crying atthe same person and it just was
like all the emotions.
And I sat there and I was like,first of all, I realized, with
my ADHD and depression but manicdepression.
Uh, I have cycle and I can'tfight the cycle.
It is, it's there, I get.
I've learned to delay it andmake it longer, and that's
(09:48):
something we could probably gointo in another episode of how I
figured that out.
But the cycle is inevitable.
I can't.
I can't get rid of it, kind ofthing.
So, yeah, I just I realized I'mlike I need to do something.
I love I love creating stories,hence the speech, to know.
I love podcasting, hence whyI'm back and I'm going to aim
(10:09):
for twice a week, so there'susually at least two days that
are not too busy and I actuallyget home on time, like today.
Um, and if worse comes to worse, if Wednesday doesn't work out,
I can record something onSaturday, edit it up and post it
, kind of thing, or bulk it,bulk record, I don't know, um,
but that's where I'm excited,especially with AI and the
(10:32):
ranking ability and all that.
It's, it's exciting time.
I feel I feel better, I feeloptimistic and for a long time I
did not feel that optimism andit really bugged me.
But, um, since I mentioned it,I'll I'll double back, probably
the third time.
Now.
My, my first book is, um, well,my porn recovery journey and
(10:57):
outlooks on my strategies andknowledge, um.
But the second one is more thebusiness and morale and
productivity uh, how treatingyour employees well and having a
lower turnover rate actuallyincreases your business profits
and stuff like that.
Contrary to Fortune 500, bigcompanies who practically look
(11:20):
forward to turnover forwrite-off reasons, a lot of
companies medium and small can'tafford that turnover, so it
would be doing that.
But then also a lot of themarketing strategies I've
learned from the show of puttingit into work, words and just
(11:41):
also the customer acquisitionwithout over leveraging yourself
as a young company, how to getcustomers and get them in your
door.
So it's going to be cool, it'sgoing to be a fun journey and
I'm looking forward to sharingit with you guys.
I am doing a separate YouTubechannel, call it Mindful Evolve.
(12:06):
It's essentially just going tobe a really raw, unedited, no
retention, editing or and stufflike that of just me talking
about what I'm going through, soI don't have to flood the josh
bolton show with it, um, butit's also it's me, but it's not
kind of thing.
(12:26):
It's separate from the podcastand that's.
That's another one where I'malso going to test different
strategies to see, oh, if I dothis?
What does it do?
What if I do this split testing?
I love it.
For some reason, I'm reallyinto split testing, um, so yeah,
that's that's about it.
I just want to thank you all forbeing loyal.
I looked at my stats before Ihopped on um and I saw, since I
(12:52):
last posted the previous one,saying oh oh, I'm back, but I'm
not I got at least on Buzzsprout, 40 downloads.
That's huge, like I knowthere's more, I'll put it that
way, but the fact that I can see40 on it is huge.
So, thank you, thank youeveryone.
You mean the world to me and Ilook forward to delivering high
(13:12):
value and high content to you ona more frequent and consistent
basis.
Other than that, love y'all,have a good one Until next time.
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