December 3, 2023 • 16 mins
Join us for this part 2 of this topic and begin the process of dismantling comparisons, refocusing your energy, and fully reclaiming your journey.
Have you ever found yourself caught in a negative spiral, fueled by jealousy and a scarcity mindset, hindering your progress and straining your relationships? This emotional tug of war can be draining and detrimental, so let's realign our focus onto your own journey, away from harmful comparisons.
This episode dives deep into the complexities of this emotion, exploring the primal fear of scarcity that often triggers feelings of jealousy, anger, and helplessness. Remain rooted in your own journey, resisting the lure of measuring your progress against others.
Let's then venture into a reflective discussion about our personal experiences with envy and the longing for success. Respect everyone's unique journey, understanding that one size definitely doesn't fit all when it comes to life's path. Remember, living a fulfilled life is not about living someone else's journey, it's about embracing your own journey and taking control of your own happiness.
More info: https://www.thejourneyblueprint.com/
Contact: Julie@thejourneyblueprint.com
Read the book: https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Blueprint-Following-Heros-Control/dp/0692132562/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julie (00:05):
Hello everyone and welcome to part two of the Live
your Journey series here on thepodcast.
Thanks for tuning in again.
In the previous episode wetalked about the ways that we
live our lives trying to avoidother people's journeys, but
today I wanted to talk aboutthose times when we actually
want to live other people'sjourneys.
So we'll start by talking aboutthe most basic of ways that
(00:27):
this comes into form, and thatis really simple jealousy
Wanting what someone else has.
I wish I had their house, Iwish I had their job, I wish I
had their relationship, I wish Ihad their body.
Whatever it is that we seesomeone else have that we
perceive as something lacking inor for ourselves.
And as I was researching forthis podcast, I came across this
(00:50):
definition that I actuallythought was pretty insightful.
It comes from Wikipedia, whichI always tell my students is a
great place to start yourresearch, but just don't stay
there.
Here's the definition.
Jealousy generally refers to thethoughts or feelings of
insecurity, fear and concernover a relative lack of
possessions or safety.
(01:11):
Jealousy can consist of one ormore emotions, such as anger,
resentment, inadequacy,helplessness or disgust.
Now, there are two things thatI found to be really interesting
in that definition.
The first is looking at thewords that they connect directly
with jealousy, insecurity, fearand lack, and when you think
(01:34):
about it, all those wordssuggest scarcity.
And when we're experiencingjealousy, we are living with the
belief that there isn't enoughto go around, that if someone
has it and I don't, that my lifeis somehow lesser.
And scarcity is a verycontracted, fearful way of
(01:57):
seeing the world.
That touches a very primal partof us, and that part is
survival.
If there isn't enough to goaround, in other words, if
someone has something and Idon't, then I might not survive,
which sounds really prettydramatic.
But these reactions areinstinctual and they're primal
and they happen very, veryquickly and if we're not careful
(02:18):
, we can find ourselvesfollowing this dramatic and
usually subconscious thoughtprocess that we're in danger all
of the time and that because ofthat danger we're going to die.
It's all very Victorianliterature in a way.
So what we're reallyexperiencing, if we allow this
(02:39):
unconscious thought process tooccur, is a sense that someone
else has something that actuallyshould be ours, that maybe
they've taken something from usor that we actually deserve to
have it, and I want you to takea moment to tune into how that
feels when you think about theexperience of something being
(03:00):
taken from you See if you canlocate that somewhere in your
body, because here is wherebeing aware of those thoughts is
actually really important.
When we see a beautiful housethat we wish we had, we don't
consciously think that houseshould be mine.
At least, we rarely have thatconscious thought.
However, we do experience thatscarcity on a deep subconscious
(03:25):
level and it can drive ouractions or, depending on the
circumstance, our inaction.
And one of the experiences thatwe've had that, I think, will
demonstrate this all of ourchildren.
When they were around six orseven or eight, my husband would
let them sit on his lap in thedriver's seat and allow them to
(03:45):
help steer on the way home fromchurch, which in our case was
never more than a couple blocksaway, and the kids loved it.
They would get so excited aboutthis prospect of doing
something so big as driving,even though Dad's hand was on
the wheel the whole time, and Iremember one common reminder
that he had to give to all ofthem, and he had to do it often,
(04:09):
and that was to say look theway you're headed For these
little ones.
It was so easy to getdistracted by seeing their
friends who were walking home orlooking at everything else that
was going on, that they lookedaway from where the car was
heading, which is not a greatidea.
They were actually driving.
As you can probably imagine andthis, just as a side note,
(04:31):
totally drives me crazy when I'mwatching a movie or a TV show
where the characters aresupposedly driving but they
spend an inordinate amount oftime looking at the person in
the passenger seat as they talk.
Look at the road, people.
But back to the point.
The real danger here, of course,is that in looking to the side,
we can't see what's coming upon the road that we are on.
(04:53):
At best, this means that wehave to come to a standstill in
our journey, because we can'tlook sideways without running
into things.
So we stop, we stagnate, givinginto thoughts that don't
actually lead anywhere, becausethey're not connected to our
reality, they're not part of thejourney that we're currently on
, and so we stop responding toour journey, to our calls, to
(05:18):
our learning and to our growth.
And we're not responding toanyone else's calls either,
because we literally can't.
And so we get stuck, becausewe're not moving forward,
because our focus is elsewhere.
Now, at worst, looking to theside actually means impacts and
crashes.
(05:38):
They can hurt other peoplebecause we weren't focused on
where we were going.
I've been in one accident in mylife up to this point and it
was 100% because I was lookingto the side instead of looking
ahead.
Now we see this when we allowjealousy or scarcity or any of
these other feelings to impactour relationships and
(06:00):
interactions with others, and itcan actually be really
consuming if we let it.
And that brings us to thesecond part of the definition
that I actually foundinteresting.
The last part of the definitionsays jealousy can consist of
one or more emotions, such asanger, resentment, inadequacy,
helplessness or disgust.
Now, these emotions are thetype of emotions that heavily
(06:25):
impact a relationship.
It's almost impossible toimagine feeling one of these
emotions towards someone elseand still treat them with
compassion or respect or love,so we end up crashing into
others, metaphorically speaking.
Of course, we say and do thingsthat carry the energy of one or
more of these emotions, andthis energy is really toxic.
(06:49):
It's damaging to us, it'sdamaging to our relationship and
it's really all based on thisfalse premise that the person
has somehow hurt us throughtheir success and in reality
their success has nothing to dowith us.
Their success is part of theirjourney, not ours.
(07:12):
And now how can I say that whenthere are situations where
there's only one job and Iwanted it but somebody else got
it, or there's someone that I'mattracted to but they end up
with someone else?
And I would invite you toconsider the idea that the real
issue with that is that we letourselves begin to believe that
that thing or that opportunityor that person was ours, when in
(07:33):
reality they weren't.
As much as we might want thatjob or that grant or that
assignment or whatever it is,that doesn't make it ours.
So not getting it only feelslike a loss because we allow
ourselves to believe thatsomehow it was already ours.
We live in a fantasy ofimagining what our lives would
(07:56):
be like with that thing or thatperson, and we enjoy that
feeling so much that we becomeattached to it.
Now we want that feeling.
We want to feel that feelingand we believe that that person
or opportunity or thing is goingto give that to us, that
happiness that we're searchingfor.
(08:16):
Now, attachment is a topic fora different podcast, but we can
start looking at it here when welook at jealousy, in many ways
we want the object of thatjealousy, or that scarcity or
whatever it is, because of howwe believe it will make us feel.
We anticipate all of thepositive feelings that we could
(08:39):
experience and become convincedthat it can only be through
having that specific thing.
And in reality there's noguarantee that having that thing
or that opportunity or thatperson would actually provide
those feelings anyway, and weconveniently choose to ignore
any potential difficulties thatmight come with it.
(09:03):
So, as an example, for manyyears I have talked about
wanting to have a castle.
I spent a summer in London whenI was in college and it was
magical, and one of my favoritethings was to travel to the
different castles that were inthe area and imagine my life in
one of these grand, beautifulplaces.
Right, of course, it would beamazing to have a castle.
And then one summer we took ourlittle kiddos to stay at the
(09:24):
home of a friend of ours, a homethat was quite a bit more
luxurious than the rambler thatwe were living in at the time,
and I remember waking up onemorning and it's this beautiful
decor, enjoying being surroundedby all these beautiful things,
the big windows and the viewsand everything, and I eventually
(09:44):
got up in order to start makingbreakfast for everyone, holding
onto this sense of happiness,and made my way to the kitchen,
and it was when it was abouthalfway there that I realized
how long it was taking to get tothe kitchen.
This expansive house was trulybeautiful, but, man, it took
(10:05):
forever to get anywhere, and itwas in that moment I started
realizing that having a castlewould actually have some
drawbacks, not the least ofwhich is the reality that it
would take forever to get fromone end to the other, let alone
to clean it.
Now, this is, of course, a sillyexample, but it was one of the
first times that I actuallythought about what the reality
(10:25):
would be of getting what I want.
Now I still want a castle,because I mean, who wouldn't?
But my view of that dream ismuch more realistic than it used
to be.
I can see that having thatobject would have some really
fun things about it, but, likeeverything else in life, it
would also come with itschallenges.
(10:45):
And now I can make a decisionabout pursuing that dream or not
, without assuming that I needit in order to be happy.
The truth is, I am the one whocontrols my happiness.
I can be happy with thosethings or without those things.
I can have those things and bemiserable.
In the end, it's up to me, notanother person or an object.
(11:07):
Getting caught up in the ideathat having equals happiness is
really just a subtle way to keepus from moving forward on our
journey, because we startthinking I can't move forward
until I have it and we end upremaining stuck waiting for
something that may or may notmatter, which actually leads me
to the next point I want to makeregarding jealousy and scarcity
(11:28):
and journeys.
As a business coach, it wascommon for me to have clients
who, as they are working onbuilding up their businesses and
taking action, find themselveslooking sideways at other
people's success and actuallybecoming really jealous of it.
And I would hear things likeI'm doing the exact same things
that she's doing, but I'm notgetting any clients and she's
(11:49):
already got 10.
Or I don't get why he'ssucceeding.
I'm working way harder, butnothing seems to turn out for me
.
This can also show up in othersituations, right, like why are
they losing weight when I can'tseem to?
How come they get a raise whenI work just as hard?
I'm just as good a player asthey are.
Why didn't I make the team andI'm going to quickly acknowledge
the first issue with thatthinking because it's flawed all
(12:11):
over the place.
But we are really terriblejudges of what is real and what
is an invention of our thinking.
But, more to the point, thesekinds of judgments are a deep
disrespect of the other people'sjourney.
We are taking a snapshot oftheir path and assuming that
they somehow got there easily orthrough some divine
(12:36):
intervention that favors oneperson over the other.
That person is where they arebecause of the journeys they
have been on.
I have such a reverence for thejourney process that to
disrespect someone else'sjourney, trivializing what
they've had to go through to getwhere they are, is almost
(12:57):
painful.
So let's pretend for a momentthat you are taking the exact
same actions as that otherperson, which is fundamentally
untrue because any action youtake is informed by your
experiences and beliefs inprevious journeys, etc.
But we'll pretend anyway.
Isolating that action to aspecific moment in time
(13:17):
completely ignores the work, theblood, sweat, tears, heartaches
, disappointments, loss andgrief that that person has
experienced.
Yeah, you might both be usingthe same strategy to get clients
or to lose weight or dowhatever it is, but perhaps you
are just starting on your path.
(13:38):
Maybe they've been on this pathfor years.
Maybe you've been trying tolose weight for a long time and
they've just started, but maybethey've done some crucial inner
work through another journeythat supports their success,
work that maybe you haven't doneyet.
The point is, we don't knowother people's paths.
We barely know our own path.
So, when given the temptationto look sideways and see these
(14:02):
moments of other people's paths,let's choose to honor whatever
it took for them to get wherethey are.
If you think about your ownjourneys, you can maybe get a
sense of how hard fought thatbattle must have been.
The last point I want to makeabout other people's journeys is
to be aware of the temptationto look for someone else to have
(14:25):
the magical formula for how toget a specific outcome for your
journey.
I know that it is marketing 101to tell people they have a
problem that you have the answerto.
Ultimately, though, what workedfor them on their journey may
not work for you on yours.
General principles areabsolutely helpful, which is
(14:46):
what I try to focus on here.
Ultimately, general principlesare what mentors are really all
about.
They don't tell the hero stepby step what to do.
They share wisdom and guidanceand then they leave the hero to
figure out what that means forthem.
But anyone who tells you thatthey know how your journey
should go, based on theirjourney, is mistaken.
(15:09):
So let's talk about somegeneral principles.
When dealing with lookingsideways At some point in this
process, it's important torecognize it.
We need to notice the emotionsthat are typical for us in these
situations.
Could be scarcity or jealousy orsomething else for you, but you
want to be able to name it andsee it for what it is.
(15:31):
Again, emotions are signpostsand they can be incredibly
informative about what part of ajourney we are in and how we're
thinking about that journey.
And if we can recognize it,then we can more easily
acknowledge that any time we'respending a lot of time looking
sideways and feeling miserablebecause of it, it's because we
are choosing to believesomething that isn't true.
(15:52):
So we can then look at thethinking that's causing us to
suffer and we can see wherewe're buying into a story of
scarcity or a false sense ofownership, or looking outside of
us to find happiness.
As always, we can applycompassion to the thinking
that's causes us to believesomething that isn't true,
(16:14):
acknowledging the impact thatit's having on us, and then
reframe the thinking tosomething that's actually
grounded in truth and, as bestas we can, we turn our gaze from
looking sideways back tolooking at our own journeys, and
that's really what the lastpodcast of this series will be
about.
So until then, remember life isa journey and it's time to
(16:36):
start living like it.
I'll see you next time.
Hello everyone and welcome to part two of the Live
your Journey series here on thepodcast.
Thanks for tuning in again.
In the previous episode wetalked about the ways that we
live our lives trying to avoidother people's journeys, but
today I wanted to talk aboutthose times when we actually
want to live other people'sjourneys.
So we'll start by talking aboutthe most basic of ways that
(00:27):
this comes into form, and thatis really simple jealousy
Wanting what someone else has.
I wish I had their house, Iwish I had their job, I wish I
had their relationship, I wish Ihad their body.
Whatever it is that we seesomeone else have that we
perceive as something lacking inor for ourselves.
And as I was researching forthis podcast, I came across this
(00:50):
definition that I actuallythought was pretty insightful.
It comes from Wikipedia, whichI always tell my students is a
great place to start yourresearch, but just don't stay
there.
Here's the definition.
Jealousy generally refers to thethoughts or feelings of
insecurity, fear and concernover a relative lack of
possessions or safety.
(01:11):
Jealousy can consist of one ormore emotions, such as anger,
resentment, inadequacy,helplessness or disgust.
Now, there are two things thatI found to be really interesting
in that definition.
The first is looking at thewords that they connect directly
with jealousy, insecurity, fearand lack, and when you think
(01:34):
about it, all those wordssuggest scarcity.
And when we're experiencingjealousy, we are living with the
belief that there isn't enoughto go around, that if someone
has it and I don't, that my lifeis somehow lesser.
And scarcity is a verycontracted, fearful way of
(01:57):
seeing the world.
That touches a very primal partof us, and that part is
survival.
If there isn't enough to goaround, in other words, if
someone has something and Idon't, then I might not survive,
which sounds really prettydramatic.
But these reactions areinstinctual and they're primal
and they happen very, veryquickly and if we're not careful
(02:18):
, we can find ourselvesfollowing this dramatic and
usually subconscious thoughtprocess that we're in danger all
of the time and that because ofthat danger we're going to die.
It's all very Victorianliterature in a way.
So what we're reallyexperiencing, if we allow this
(02:39):
unconscious thought process tooccur, is a sense that someone
else has something that actuallyshould be ours, that maybe
they've taken something from usor that we actually deserve to
have it, and I want you to takea moment to tune into how that
feels when you think about theexperience of something being
(03:00):
taken from you See if you canlocate that somewhere in your
body, because here is wherebeing aware of those thoughts is
actually really important.
When we see a beautiful housethat we wish we had, we don't
consciously think that houseshould be mine.
At least, we rarely have thatconscious thought.
However, we do experience thatscarcity on a deep subconscious
(03:25):
level and it can drive ouractions or, depending on the
circumstance, our inaction.
And one of the experiences thatwe've had that, I think, will
demonstrate this all of ourchildren.
When they were around six orseven or eight, my husband would
let them sit on his lap in thedriver's seat and allow them to
(03:45):
help steer on the way home fromchurch, which in our case was
never more than a couple blocksaway, and the kids loved it.
They would get so excited aboutthis prospect of doing
something so big as driving,even though Dad's hand was on
the wheel the whole time, and Iremember one common reminder
that he had to give to all ofthem, and he had to do it often,
(04:09):
and that was to say look theway you're headed For these
little ones.
It was so easy to getdistracted by seeing their
friends who were walking home orlooking at everything else that
was going on, that they lookedaway from where the car was
heading, which is not a greatidea.
They were actually driving.
As you can probably imagine andthis, just as a side note,
(04:31):
totally drives me crazy when I'mwatching a movie or a TV show
where the characters aresupposedly driving but they
spend an inordinate amount oftime looking at the person in
the passenger seat as they talk.
Look at the road, people.
But back to the point.
The real danger here, of course,is that in looking to the side,
we can't see what's coming upon the road that we are on.
(04:53):
At best, this means that wehave to come to a standstill in
our journey, because we can'tlook sideways without running
into things.
So we stop, we stagnate, givinginto thoughts that don't
actually lead anywhere, becausethey're not connected to our
reality, they're not part of thejourney that we're currently on
, and so we stop responding toour journey, to our calls, to
(05:18):
our learning and to our growth.
And we're not responding toanyone else's calls either,
because we literally can't.
And so we get stuck, becausewe're not moving forward,
because our focus is elsewhere.
Now, at worst, looking to theside actually means impacts and
crashes.
(05:38):
They can hurt other peoplebecause we weren't focused on
where we were going.
I've been in one accident in mylife up to this point and it
was 100% because I was lookingto the side instead of looking
ahead.
Now we see this when we allowjealousy or scarcity or any of
these other feelings to impactour relationships and
(06:00):
interactions with others, and itcan actually be really
consuming if we let it.
And that brings us to thesecond part of the definition
that I actually foundinteresting.
The last part of the definitionsays jealousy can consist of
one or more emotions, such asanger, resentment, inadequacy,
helplessness or disgust.
Now, these emotions are thetype of emotions that heavily
(06:25):
impact a relationship.
It's almost impossible toimagine feeling one of these
emotions towards someone elseand still treat them with
compassion or respect or love,so we end up crashing into
others, metaphorically speaking.
Of course, we say and do thingsthat carry the energy of one or
more of these emotions, andthis energy is really toxic.
(06:49):
It's damaging to us, it'sdamaging to our relationship and
it's really all based on thisfalse premise that the person
has somehow hurt us throughtheir success and in reality
their success has nothing to dowith us.
Their success is part of theirjourney, not ours.
(07:12):
And now how can I say that whenthere are situations where
there's only one job and Iwanted it but somebody else got
it, or there's someone that I'mattracted to but they end up
with someone else?
And I would invite you toconsider the idea that the real
issue with that is that we letourselves begin to believe that
that thing or that opportunityor that person was ours, when in
(07:33):
reality they weren't.
As much as we might want thatjob or that grant or that
assignment or whatever it is,that doesn't make it ours.
So not getting it only feelslike a loss because we allow
ourselves to believe thatsomehow it was already ours.
We live in a fantasy ofimagining what our lives would
(07:56):
be like with that thing or thatperson, and we enjoy that
feeling so much that we becomeattached to it.
Now we want that feeling.
We want to feel that feelingand we believe that that person
or opportunity or thing is goingto give that to us, that
happiness that we're searchingfor.
(08:16):
Now, attachment is a topic fora different podcast, but we can
start looking at it here when welook at jealousy, in many ways
we want the object of thatjealousy, or that scarcity or
whatever it is, because of howwe believe it will make us feel.
We anticipate all of thepositive feelings that we could
(08:39):
experience and become convincedthat it can only be through
having that specific thing.
And in reality there's noguarantee that having that thing
or that opportunity or thatperson would actually provide
those feelings anyway, and weconveniently choose to ignore
any potential difficulties thatmight come with it.
(09:03):
So, as an example, for manyyears I have talked about
wanting to have a castle.
I spent a summer in London whenI was in college and it was
magical, and one of my favoritethings was to travel to the
different castles that were inthe area and imagine my life in
one of these grand, beautifulplaces.
Right, of course, it would beamazing to have a castle.
And then one summer we took ourlittle kiddos to stay at the
(09:24):
home of a friend of ours, a homethat was quite a bit more
luxurious than the rambler thatwe were living in at the time,
and I remember waking up onemorning and it's this beautiful
decor, enjoying being surroundedby all these beautiful things,
the big windows and the viewsand everything, and I eventually
(09:44):
got up in order to start makingbreakfast for everyone, holding
onto this sense of happiness,and made my way to the kitchen,
and it was when it was abouthalfway there that I realized
how long it was taking to get tothe kitchen.
This expansive house was trulybeautiful, but, man, it took
(10:05):
forever to get anywhere, and itwas in that moment I started
realizing that having a castlewould actually have some
drawbacks, not the least ofwhich is the reality that it
would take forever to get fromone end to the other, let alone
to clean it.
Now, this is, of course, a sillyexample, but it was one of the
first times that I actuallythought about what the reality
(10:25):
would be of getting what I want.
Now I still want a castle,because I mean, who wouldn't?
But my view of that dream ismuch more realistic than it used
to be.
I can see that having thatobject would have some really
fun things about it, but, likeeverything else in life, it
would also come with itschallenges.
(10:45):
And now I can make a decisionabout pursuing that dream or not
, without assuming that I needit in order to be happy.
The truth is, I am the one whocontrols my happiness.
I can be happy with thosethings or without those things.
I can have those things and bemiserable.
In the end, it's up to me, notanother person or an object.
(11:07):
Getting caught up in the ideathat having equals happiness is
really just a subtle way to keepus from moving forward on our
journey, because we startthinking I can't move forward
until I have it and we end upremaining stuck waiting for
something that may or may notmatter, which actually leads me
to the next point I want to makeregarding jealousy and scarcity
(11:28):
and journeys.
As a business coach, it wascommon for me to have clients
who, as they are working onbuilding up their businesses and
taking action, find themselveslooking sideways at other
people's success and actuallybecoming really jealous of it.
And I would hear things likeI'm doing the exact same things
that she's doing, but I'm notgetting any clients and she's
(11:49):
already got 10.
Or I don't get why he'ssucceeding.
I'm working way harder, butnothing seems to turn out for me
.
This can also show up in othersituations, right, like why are
they losing weight when I can'tseem to?
How come they get a raise whenI work just as hard?
I'm just as good a player asthey are.
Why didn't I make the team andI'm going to quickly acknowledge
the first issue with thatthinking because it's flawed all
(12:11):
over the place.
But we are really terriblejudges of what is real and what
is an invention of our thinking.
But, more to the point, thesekinds of judgments are a deep
disrespect of the other people'sjourney.
We are taking a snapshot oftheir path and assuming that
they somehow got there easily orthrough some divine
(12:36):
intervention that favors oneperson over the other.
That person is where they arebecause of the journeys they
have been on.
I have such a reverence for thejourney process that to
disrespect someone else'sjourney, trivializing what
they've had to go through to getwhere they are, is almost
(12:57):
painful.
So let's pretend for a momentthat you are taking the exact
same actions as that otherperson, which is fundamentally
untrue because any action youtake is informed by your
experiences and beliefs inprevious journeys, etc.
But we'll pretend anyway.
Isolating that action to aspecific moment in time
(13:17):
completely ignores the work, theblood, sweat, tears, heartaches
, disappointments, loss andgrief that that person has
experienced.
Yeah, you might both be usingthe same strategy to get clients
or to lose weight or dowhatever it is, but perhaps you
are just starting on your path.
(13:38):
Maybe they've been on this pathfor years.
Maybe you've been trying tolose weight for a long time and
they've just started, but maybethey've done some crucial inner
work through another journeythat supports their success,
work that maybe you haven't doneyet.
The point is, we don't knowother people's paths.
We barely know our own path.
So, when given the temptationto look sideways and see these
(14:02):
moments of other people's paths,let's choose to honor whatever
it took for them to get wherethey are.
If you think about your ownjourneys, you can maybe get a
sense of how hard fought thatbattle must have been.
The last point I want to makeabout other people's journeys is
to be aware of the temptationto look for someone else to have
(14:25):
the magical formula for how toget a specific outcome for your
journey.
I know that it is marketing 101to tell people they have a
problem that you have the answerto.
Ultimately, though, what workedfor them on their journey may
not work for you on yours.
General principles areabsolutely helpful, which is
(14:46):
what I try to focus on here.
Ultimately, general principlesare what mentors are really all
about.
They don't tell the hero stepby step what to do.
They share wisdom and guidanceand then they leave the hero to
figure out what that means forthem.
But anyone who tells you thatthey know how your journey
should go, based on theirjourney, is mistaken.
(15:09):
So let's talk about somegeneral principles.
When dealing with lookingsideways At some point in this
process, it's important torecognize it.
We need to notice the emotionsthat are typical for us in these
situations.
Could be scarcity or jealousy orsomething else for you, but you
want to be able to name it andsee it for what it is.
(15:31):
Again, emotions are signpostsand they can be incredibly
informative about what part of ajourney we are in and how we're
thinking about that journey.
And if we can recognize it,then we can more easily
acknowledge that any time we'respending a lot of time looking
sideways and feeling miserablebecause of it, it's because we
are choosing to believesomething that isn't true.
(15:52):
So we can then look at thethinking that's causing us to
suffer and we can see wherewe're buying into a story of
scarcity or a false sense ofownership, or looking outside of
us to find happiness.
As always, we can applycompassion to the thinking
that's causes us to believesomething that isn't true,
(16:14):
acknowledging the impact thatit's having on us, and then
reframe the thinking tosomething that's actually
grounded in truth and, as bestas we can, we turn our gaze from
looking sideways back tolooking at our own journeys, and
that's really what the lastpodcast of this series will be
about.
So until then, remember life isa journey and it's time to
(16:36):
start living like it.
I'll see you next time.
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