May 1, 2024 • 20 mins
We've all heard of character development in our favorite movies and books—but what about in our own narratives? This episode dives into the idea of personal growth, where the focus shifts from fixing flaws to aspiring toward the qualities that embody our ideal self. Sharing insights from our 'Rambaldi year,' I'll take you through a perspective that encourages organic transformation, aligning more with aspirations than with criticisms. It's an open invitation to explore the potential for your own personal challenges and triumphs in reprogramming entrenched habits and beliefs, with an emphasis on the importance of perspective in tackling such an important task.
More info: https://www.thejourneyblueprint.com/
Contact: Julie@thejourneyblueprint.com
Read the book: https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Blueprint-Following-Heros-Control/dp/0692132562/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast.
Today is going to be a littlebit different.
In the first place, it might beshorter, I don't know.
We'll find out.
We'll see whatever wants tocome forward.
Second, I want to sharesomething that is impacting me
right now.
It's so current that I'm stillin it, meaning that whatever I
(00:31):
currently understand about thissituation is still in process
and I'm trying to understand it.
So bear with me as I try to putinto words what is still very
much a work in progress for meright now.
And it feels very vulnerable toshare something when I know
that whatever I think I'velearned so far might change,
(00:51):
maybe even drastically, by thetime it's over.
But at the same time, it feltas I was thinking about it, it
felt really worthwhile to sharethe messiness too, because we
all get to experience themessiness of journeys.
So okay, with that being said,here we go In order to share
(01:12):
what's happening.
I want to give a little bit ofcontext.
My husband and I love watchingshows and movies together.
It's like they're sharedexperiences that we get to have
right the conversation pointstheir sparks of inspiration and
often, depending on what we'rewatching, become inside jokes
and references, which, of coursewe also love, but one of the
(01:32):
shows that we watched very earlyin our marriage was Elias, and
if you haven't seen it, thepremise of the show was that the
main character named Sydney,who was played by Jennifer
Garner, was a spy working totake down a corrupt organization
.
The ins and outs of the showitself kind of had its ups and
downs, as most shows do, but oneof the best aspects of the show
(01:53):
was that in order for her totake down this organization, she
had to engage in what wasreally, for all intents and
purposes, a global treasure hunt, and the writers of the show
created a character named MiloRambaldi.
And in the lore of the show,rambaldi was a scientist who
lived in the 1400s, and he was aman of many talents, a
(02:15):
Renaissance man, and did allsorts of things, including being
an artist, an alchemist, anengineer, a mystic.
He also served as chiefarchitect to Pope Alexander VI.
So, at least in the lore of theshow, he was considered one of
history's rare true geniuses.
And Rambaldi dedicated his lifeto finding the one thing that
(02:37):
eludes every human being on theplanet and that is immortality.
So he created all these notesand inventions and plans and
those things scatteredthroughout the world became the
main pursuit of the villains ofthe show, who would use all of
their resources to try to trackdown anything that Rambaldi
(02:58):
wrote or made, so that theycould put them all together and
create eternal life forthemselves.
That was the premise of the show.
That was what Sydney was doing.
She would either try to blockthe villains or get to the item
first, or whatever it was, andit was world traveling and death
defying and last minute winsand losses, and we just kept
(03:20):
coming back for more.
So, in my personal opinion, theshow at some point lost its way
and our enjoyment of itdeclined, and we talked a lot
about why at the time, trying tofigure out what had changed and
what just wasn't the same asbefore, and what we concluded
was that the writers seemed tohave lost track of what it was
that made the show fun in thefirst place, and fun really is
(03:42):
the key word.
It was fun to watch, it was funto think about, it was fun for
us to try to guess what wasgoing to happen, and Rambaldi,
this character, was a big partof that.
And, okay, that was a lot ofbackground information to lead
up to the point of this podcast.
But let me provide one lastdetail.
One way that the characters inthe show knew that something was
(04:06):
related to Rambaldi was becauseof the number 47.
47 is a prime number.
It factors into many of theinventions in the show, even the
show itself.
So whenever we see 47, itbrings us back to Alias and to
the fun that we had watching theshow.
So when my husband approached mewith the idea that, as we were
both turning 47 in the next year, that maybe we could have a
(04:29):
Rambaldi year, I was all in.
So what's the Rambaldi year,you may ask.
I have no idea.
It may mean different things todifferent people and, to be
honest, I have no idea if thiswas a thing for anyone other
than us.
I didn't even bother to check.
But for us, we're sort ofdefining it for ourselves as we
go.
(04:50):
And so to answer the question ofwhat a Rembaldi year is for us,
having a Rembaldi year is andstarted in many ways as a
commitment to ending the year asa different version of
ourselves than when we started.
It means looking at patternsand habits that we've known for
(05:10):
a long time, that we wanted tochange but either haven't had
the time or whatever it was, wejust haven't made those changes.
And it means in many ways,because of where we are in our
lives, not just doing the outerwork but doing the inner work,
which ultimately leads to doingthe outer work, but doing the
inner work which ultimatelyleads to sustaining the outer
(05:31):
work which we now know.
But basically, it just meansdoing things differently.
It means trying new things, itmeans looking at things in a new
way and it means bringing backa sense of fun and adventure to
this thing that we have calledlife right.
And, my goodness, thisexperience has been
transformative.
Now don't get me wrong, this isseriously hard work.
(05:56):
Embarking on this Rembaldi year,we had discussed a few of the
changes that we knew we wantedto make and, looking back these
few months, those are verysuperficial changes.
But as we stepped into, thosechanges that brought up new
challenges and new struggles andnew leaps of faith that we
hadn't anticipated, things thatwe didn't know we needed to
(06:18):
change.
And these things are forcing usto dig really deep, to
acknowledge failings andshortcomings and to let go of
these dearly held beliefs thathave been keeping us stuck for
so long.
And it's really not for thefaint of heart, I tell you what.
(06:38):
But underneath it all is thisexcitement of the Rambaldi year,
of this idea that we candramatically alter our lived
experience if we so choose, thatsometimes all it takes is a
change in the way that weapproach the experience or the
way we think about theexperience, and major shifts can
(07:01):
occur.
And I find this to be so trueof so many things and working
with various clients for theyears and my own experience and
stories that people have sharedwith me.
There's this one thing that hascome up, often kind of like a
recurring theme, that themajority of things and events
that we experience in our livesare basically neutral.
They're not good, they're notbad, they're neutral.
(07:23):
It's how we think about themthat dictates our experience of
it.
And I'm not going to go toodeeply into that today, first of
all because it isn't the pointof the podcast and second
because it's a biggerconversation.
But suffice it to say that Ican either try to make these
changes in my life from a placeof scarcity, drudgery,
(07:43):
difficulty, or I can try to makethese changes in my life from a
place of abundance, excitementand adventure.
They're the same changes but atotally different perspective
and I think it makes all thedifference in the world.
So in the process of thisRambaldi year, some things have
come up which I realize, as I'msaying, it is a massive
(08:06):
understatement, but, for example, embarking on this Rambalda
year has brought up a choice onhow I approach change or
self-development.
One approach is to look ateverything that is wrong and
then make plans to fix it.
We make a list of everything wedon't like about ourselves,
(08:27):
everything that we feel isunacceptable, and then we start
working to change those things.
And this has most certainlybeen my process for the majority
of my life, and while I have toadmit that I got things done
this way, while I have to admitthat I got things done this way,
it usually ended up with medisliking myself even more than
(08:48):
when I started.
A totally different approachthat people take and I've heard
people talk about it, but itfinally landed over the last
little bit is to make adifferent kind of list For this
version.
The list that you makeidentifies the qualities of the
person that you want to be andyou start working toward that,
(09:11):
and I know that seems like anuanced distinction.
Let me see if I can flesh thatout just a little bit.
So, to put it back in terms ofthe Rambaldi year, if I were to
speculate, I would say thatRambaldi was more that second
type.
He knew what he wanted.
He wanted immortality, andeverything he did was focused on
getting himself to that goal.
(09:31):
And I know I don't need to readtoo much into this.
It was a television show, butthe character seemed to embody
this forward-looking way ofsetting goals.
The inventions he made weren'tto fix the person he was.
The inventions were to enablethe person he wanted to be.
And we can do the same.
(09:53):
No list of everything that'swrong with me, just a list of
the qualities of the person Iwant to be.
And then, as I work towardbeing that person, the things
that might be in the way ofbecoming that person actually
show up when they're ready andit's almost the difference in
phrasing I can choose to be theperson who is healthy enough to
(10:17):
play with their grandkids.
That would be the second way.
This is the person I want tobecome.
Or I can look at what's wrongwith me and say I need to lose
weight, and the two are so verydifferent.
If I want to lose weight, I'mseeing myself as that there's
something wrong with me and Ican get bogged down in
(10:38):
everything, all the rules andall the do's and don'ts and
don't eat this and can't eatthat.
By just about every weight lossstandard, ice cream is totally
off the table, but if I want tobe someone who can play with her
grandkids, eating ice creammight still be on the table.
I don't know.
I'll have to find out.
But the nice thing is I don'thave to try and change
(10:59):
everything about myself before Ican move forward.
I get to look at what comes upwhen it comes up as I'm going
through the process of becomingthis different version of myself
, and those things that I thinkI need to change may never come
up at all.
Maybe they're not actually inmy way.
(11:20):
That thing that in one momentI'm totally convinced is a
problem and is wrong with memight not actually be a problem,
at least in becoming thisversion of myself that I want to
become.
If I become that new versionand I didn't have to change that
thing, then it was justsomething I had decided was
(11:41):
wrong with me that maybe wasn'tactually wrong.
So I know that's a lot, hang on.
Let me just take a moment tosummarize what I see as the big
differences in these two waysthat I have been playing with.
And again, this is messy, we'retrying to work our way through
it right now, but here are acouple of things.
The first version I look atmyself, I decide everything
(12:03):
that's wrong with me and then Iset to work to fix all of those
things, those things that Iperceive as being in my way,
those things that I perceive aspreventing me from being able to
move forward.
And then I stay where I amtrying to fix those things so
(12:23):
that when they're fixed, then Ican move forward, then I can do
the things.
So that's the first version.
In the second version, I startwalking toward where I want to
go.
If something comes up that isin the way of that movement,
(12:46):
then that's an opportunity forme to do the inner work, to look
inside, to heal and to releaseand to let go and then keep
moving forward.
With that first version it'sprobable and for me I would say
most likely that I would alwaysbe able to find something else
that was wrong with me, and so Iwould be stuck trying to fix
(13:08):
all these things that were wrongwith me and waiting to start
whatever it was or to dowhatever it was until that was
fixed.
But in the second version, Inot only get to where I want to
be because I'm actually movingforward.
I may end up somewhere betterjust by the sheer fact that I'm
(13:28):
actually moving forward.
I'm not waiting until I'mperfect to do so.
Okay, so that's just one pieceof the messiness that we're
working on, but that seemsimportant and it has been a
vastly different experience forme as I've been going through
this process.
Now there are a couple of thingsI knew to expect in embarking
(13:49):
on a Rambalda year, because itis a journey after all.
So of course, there are thingsthat I need to learn how to do
or how to do differently.
I expect that I can expect thatthere will be some experiences
of failure as I'm trying newthings.
But I also know what thelessons of failure are.
I know what failure teaches andwhat it doesn't teach, and I
(14:13):
can keep those in mind as I'mmoving forward.
And I talked about those in aprevious episode, if you're
interested, so I'm not going togo into them here.
But I think destruction is alsoan expectation.
This is part of the abyss, andthere are things that will need
to be cleaned out in order forme to move forward, and that's
pretty scary for me right now,but it's worth noting.
(14:36):
Right, and that's probably atopic for a different podcast.
But destruction is a very realpart of journeys.
I think helpers and mentors area huge part of this process.
I have seen my understandingdeepen and grow to the point
where I was ready to make thesechanges, and that has been a
(14:59):
direct result of being open toseeing things differently.
The world is full of smart,insightful, caring people who
have a lot of powerful things toshare, and bringing these
influence into my journeys hashad, I would say, an
immeasurable impact.
They can't change me, thosehelpers and mentors.
They can't change me, theycan't do the work for me, they
(15:22):
can't heal me, but they can openup the possibility of a new way
of thinking, and I think that'sthe most powerful thing that we
can do for each other.
So, in addition, openingourselves up to this kind of
revolutionary change leads towell, revolutionary change.
(15:43):
We're almost a third of the wayin at this point and I am
looking back at the strikingamount of work and change that
have happened in such a shortamount of time.
It really is not for the faintof heart.
I am measurably different thanI was before.
As I was telling a friend aboutthis the other day, the word
(16:05):
that kept coming up isunraveling.
I'm experiencing a prettysignificant unraveling right now
and in the past the feeling ofunraveling, like I kind of get
this picture of me and there's,for whatever reason, the yarn is
red and it's just spewing offin all these places as this
unraveling is happening and I'mgrabbing armfuls trying to hold
it all together.
(16:25):
But this year I'm letting itunravel and it's difficult.
But what I'm noticing is notjust losing the parts of myself
that were ready to go in thisunraveling.
It's also revealing thefoundational parts of me that
are solid, that are survivingthe unraveling, that are
(16:49):
becoming more clear and morestable than they were before.
This includes my faith and mybelief in God.
This includes my family and myrelationships and it includes
the things that are closest tomy heart, the things that I feel
called to share, to do, topursue, to learn the ways that I
(17:10):
want to grow, and I understandthat not everybody has the same
experience.
For some people, thisunraveling process would have an
impact on those things, andthis really wasn't anything that
I was expecting.
But I'm really grateful to havehad all of these things be
deepened in beautiful and Ihonestly and I don't use this
(17:34):
word lightly sacred ways, that Ihave opened to seeing things as
they are, to seeing my faithand my belief as it is, to
seeing God or the universe orwhatever word works best for you
as it is.
It is in seeing my spouse andmy children as they are, in
(18:03):
coming to accept what I feelcalled to in my heart as it is.
That has been a major part ofthe changes and shifts that have
happened for me this year sofar, and I guess that leads to
what's going to happen at theend of the year.
I have no clue and I'm a littlescared to ask because it has
been such a massive undertaking.
I think we could stop right nowand I'd have to call it a
(18:27):
success, just by the ways that Ialready know that I'm not the
same person as when we startedand there's still a whole lot of
year to come and maybe it willbe more unraveling.
Maybe at some point theunraveling will be done and I
can start building.
Who knows?
I guess we'll see when we getto the end.
And maybe another question isbased on this experience.
(18:51):
Would I want to do it again,and I'm noticing that question
is causing me to pause, which isinteresting.
Maybe I need some time tosettle and integrate before I
can answer that question.
But the Rambaldi year, theexcitement, this idea of this
adventure has really beenunderlying the whole thing and I
(19:14):
really appreciated theinfluence that has had on this
experience.
So maybe we'll set up forRambaldi year two and Rambaldi
year three.
I'm a big fan of sequels whenthey lead us to deeper
understandings of the charactersand I guess, as long as it
still feels fun and exciting, Iwould probably be in.
And if you're listening to thisand thinking, I wonder if that
(19:39):
could be for me.
Please reach out.
I would love to have aconversation about it, to see
what's possible, because really,after all, life is a journey,
even an adventure, if we let it,and it's time to start living
like it.
Thanks for being here.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast.
Today is going to be a littlebit different.
In the first place, it might beshorter, I don't know.
We'll find out.
We'll see whatever wants tocome forward.
Second, I want to sharesomething that is impacting me
right now.
It's so current that I'm stillin it, meaning that whatever I
(00:31):
currently understand about thissituation is still in process
and I'm trying to understand it.
So bear with me as I try to putinto words what is still very
much a work in progress for meright now.
And it feels very vulnerable toshare something when I know
that whatever I think I'velearned so far might change,
(00:51):
maybe even drastically, by thetime it's over.
But at the same time, it feltas I was thinking about it, it
felt really worthwhile to sharethe messiness too, because we
all get to experience themessiness of journeys.
So okay, with that being said,here we go In order to share
(01:12):
what's happening.
I want to give a little bit ofcontext.
My husband and I love watchingshows and movies together.
It's like they're sharedexperiences that we get to have
right the conversation pointstheir sparks of inspiration and
often, depending on what we'rewatching, become inside jokes
and references, which, of coursewe also love, but one of the
(01:32):
shows that we watched very earlyin our marriage was Elias, and
if you haven't seen it, thepremise of the show was that the
main character named Sydney,who was played by Jennifer
Garner, was a spy working totake down a corrupt organization
.
The ins and outs of the showitself kind of had its ups and
downs, as most shows do, but oneof the best aspects of the show
(01:53):
was that in order for her totake down this organization, she
had to engage in what wasreally, for all intents and
purposes, a global treasure hunt, and the writers of the show
created a character named MiloRambaldi.
And in the lore of the show,rambaldi was a scientist who
lived in the 1400s, and he was aman of many talents, a
(02:15):
Renaissance man, and did allsorts of things, including being
an artist, an alchemist, anengineer, a mystic.
He also served as chiefarchitect to Pope Alexander VI.
So, at least in the lore of theshow, he was considered one of
history's rare true geniuses.
And Rambaldi dedicated his lifeto finding the one thing that
(02:37):
eludes every human being on theplanet and that is immortality.
So he created all these notesand inventions and plans and
those things scatteredthroughout the world became the
main pursuit of the villains ofthe show, who would use all of
their resources to try to trackdown anything that Rambaldi
(02:58):
wrote or made, so that theycould put them all together and
create eternal life forthemselves.
That was the premise of the show.
That was what Sydney was doing.
She would either try to blockthe villains or get to the item
first, or whatever it was, andit was world traveling and death
defying and last minute winsand losses, and we just kept
(03:20):
coming back for more.
So, in my personal opinion, theshow at some point lost its way
and our enjoyment of itdeclined, and we talked a lot
about why at the time, trying tofigure out what had changed and
what just wasn't the same asbefore, and what we concluded
was that the writers seemed tohave lost track of what it was
that made the show fun in thefirst place, and fun really is
(03:42):
the key word.
It was fun to watch, it was funto think about, it was fun for
us to try to guess what wasgoing to happen, and Rambaldi,
this character, was a big partof that.
And, okay, that was a lot ofbackground information to lead
up to the point of this podcast.
But let me provide one lastdetail.
One way that the characters inthe show knew that something was
(04:06):
related to Rambaldi was becauseof the number 47.
47 is a prime number.
It factors into many of theinventions in the show, even the
show itself.
So whenever we see 47, itbrings us back to Alias and to
the fun that we had watching theshow.
So when my husband approached mewith the idea that, as we were
both turning 47 in the next year, that maybe we could have a
(04:29):
Rambaldi year, I was all in.
So what's the Rambaldi year,you may ask.
I have no idea.
It may mean different things todifferent people and, to be
honest, I have no idea if thiswas a thing for anyone other
than us.
I didn't even bother to check.
But for us, we're sort ofdefining it for ourselves as we
go.
(04:50):
And so to answer the question ofwhat a Rembaldi year is for us,
having a Rembaldi year is andstarted in many ways as a
commitment to ending the year asa different version of
ourselves than when we started.
It means looking at patternsand habits that we've known for
(05:10):
a long time, that we wanted tochange but either haven't had
the time or whatever it was, wejust haven't made those changes.
And it means in many ways,because of where we are in our
lives, not just doing the outerwork but doing the inner work,
which ultimately leads to doingthe outer work, but doing the
inner work which ultimatelyleads to sustaining the outer
(05:31):
work which we now know.
But basically, it just meansdoing things differently.
It means trying new things, itmeans looking at things in a new
way and it means bringing backa sense of fun and adventure to
this thing that we have calledlife right.
And, my goodness, thisexperience has been
transformative.
Now don't get me wrong, this isseriously hard work.
(05:56):
Embarking on this Rembaldi year,we had discussed a few of the
changes that we knew we wantedto make and, looking back these
few months, those are verysuperficial changes.
But as we stepped into, thosechanges that brought up new
challenges and new struggles andnew leaps of faith that we
hadn't anticipated, things thatwe didn't know we needed to
(06:18):
change.
And these things are forcing usto dig really deep, to
acknowledge failings andshortcomings and to let go of
these dearly held beliefs thathave been keeping us stuck for
so long.
And it's really not for thefaint of heart, I tell you what.
(06:38):
But underneath it all is thisexcitement of the Rambaldi year,
of this idea that we candramatically alter our lived
experience if we so choose, thatsometimes all it takes is a
change in the way that weapproach the experience or the
way we think about theexperience, and major shifts can
(07:01):
occur.
And I find this to be so trueof so many things and working
with various clients for theyears and my own experience and
stories that people have sharedwith me.
There's this one thing that hascome up, often kind of like a
recurring theme, that themajority of things and events
that we experience in our livesare basically neutral.
They're not good, they're notbad, they're neutral.
(07:23):
It's how we think about themthat dictates our experience of
it.
And I'm not going to go toodeeply into that today, first of
all because it isn't the pointof the podcast and second
because it's a biggerconversation.
But suffice it to say that Ican either try to make these
changes in my life from a placeof scarcity, drudgery,
(07:43):
difficulty, or I can try to makethese changes in my life from a
place of abundance, excitementand adventure.
They're the same changes but atotally different perspective
and I think it makes all thedifference in the world.
So in the process of thisRambaldi year, some things have
come up which I realize, as I'msaying, it is a massive
(08:06):
understatement, but, for example, embarking on this Rambalda
year has brought up a choice onhow I approach change or
self-development.
One approach is to look ateverything that is wrong and
then make plans to fix it.
We make a list of everything wedon't like about ourselves,
(08:27):
everything that we feel isunacceptable, and then we start
working to change those things.
And this has most certainlybeen my process for the majority
of my life, and while I have toadmit that I got things done
this way, while I have to admitthat I got things done this way,
it usually ended up with medisliking myself even more than
(08:48):
when I started.
A totally different approachthat people take and I've heard
people talk about it, but itfinally landed over the last
little bit is to make adifferent kind of list For this
version.
The list that you makeidentifies the qualities of the
person that you want to be andyou start working toward that,
(09:11):
and I know that seems like anuanced distinction.
Let me see if I can flesh thatout just a little bit.
So, to put it back in terms ofthe Rambaldi year, if I were to
speculate, I would say thatRambaldi was more that second
type.
He knew what he wanted.
He wanted immortality, andeverything he did was focused on
getting himself to that goal.
(09:31):
And I know I don't need to readtoo much into this.
It was a television show, butthe character seemed to embody
this forward-looking way ofsetting goals.
The inventions he made weren'tto fix the person he was.
The inventions were to enablethe person he wanted to be.
And we can do the same.
(09:53):
No list of everything that'swrong with me, just a list of
the qualities of the person Iwant to be.
And then, as I work towardbeing that person, the things
that might be in the way ofbecoming that person actually
show up when they're ready andit's almost the difference in
phrasing I can choose to be theperson who is healthy enough to
(10:17):
play with their grandkids.
That would be the second way.
This is the person I want tobecome.
Or I can look at what's wrongwith me and say I need to lose
weight, and the two are so verydifferent.
If I want to lose weight, I'mseeing myself as that there's
something wrong with me and Ican get bogged down in
(10:38):
everything, all the rules andall the do's and don'ts and
don't eat this and can't eatthat.
By just about every weight lossstandard, ice cream is totally
off the table, but if I want tobe someone who can play with her
grandkids, eating ice creammight still be on the table.
I don't know.
I'll have to find out.
But the nice thing is I don'thave to try and change
(10:59):
everything about myself before Ican move forward.
I get to look at what comes upwhen it comes up as I'm going
through the process of becomingthis different version of myself
, and those things that I thinkI need to change may never come
up at all.
Maybe they're not actually inmy way.
(11:20):
That thing that in one momentI'm totally convinced is a
problem and is wrong with memight not actually be a problem,
at least in becoming thisversion of myself that I want to
become.
If I become that new versionand I didn't have to change that
thing, then it was justsomething I had decided was
(11:41):
wrong with me that maybe wasn'tactually wrong.
So I know that's a lot, hang on.
Let me just take a moment tosummarize what I see as the big
differences in these two waysthat I have been playing with.
And again, this is messy, we'retrying to work our way through
it right now, but here are acouple of things.
The first version I look atmyself, I decide everything
(12:03):
that's wrong with me and then Iset to work to fix all of those
things, those things that Iperceive as being in my way,
those things that I perceive aspreventing me from being able to
move forward.
And then I stay where I amtrying to fix those things so
(12:23):
that when they're fixed, then Ican move forward, then I can do
the things.
So that's the first version.
In the second version, I startwalking toward where I want to
go.
If something comes up that isin the way of that movement,
(12:46):
then that's an opportunity forme to do the inner work, to look
inside, to heal and to releaseand to let go and then keep
moving forward.
With that first version it'sprobable and for me I would say
most likely that I would alwaysbe able to find something else
that was wrong with me, and so Iwould be stuck trying to fix
(13:08):
all these things that were wrongwith me and waiting to start
whatever it was or to dowhatever it was until that was
fixed.
But in the second version, Inot only get to where I want to
be because I'm actually movingforward.
I may end up somewhere betterjust by the sheer fact that I'm
(13:28):
actually moving forward.
I'm not waiting until I'mperfect to do so.
Okay, so that's just one pieceof the messiness that we're
working on, but that seemsimportant and it has been a
vastly different experience forme as I've been going through
this process.
Now there are a couple of thingsI knew to expect in embarking
(13:49):
on a Rambalda year, because itis a journey after all.
So of course, there are thingsthat I need to learn how to do
or how to do differently.
I expect that I can expect thatthere will be some experiences
of failure as I'm trying newthings.
But I also know what thelessons of failure are.
I know what failure teaches andwhat it doesn't teach, and I
(14:13):
can keep those in mind as I'mmoving forward.
And I talked about those in aprevious episode, if you're
interested, so I'm not going togo into them here.
But I think destruction is alsoan expectation.
This is part of the abyss, andthere are things that will need
to be cleaned out in order forme to move forward, and that's
pretty scary for me right now,but it's worth noting.
(14:36):
Right, and that's probably atopic for a different podcast.
But destruction is a very realpart of journeys.
I think helpers and mentors area huge part of this process.
I have seen my understandingdeepen and grow to the point
where I was ready to make thesechanges, and that has been a
(14:59):
direct result of being open toseeing things differently.
The world is full of smart,insightful, caring people who
have a lot of powerful things toshare, and bringing these
influence into my journeys hashad, I would say, an
immeasurable impact.
They can't change me, thosehelpers and mentors.
They can't change me, theycan't do the work for me, they
(15:22):
can't heal me, but they can openup the possibility of a new way
of thinking, and I think that'sthe most powerful thing that we
can do for each other.
So, in addition, openingourselves up to this kind of
revolutionary change leads towell, revolutionary change.
(15:43):
We're almost a third of the wayin at this point and I am
looking back at the strikingamount of work and change that
have happened in such a shortamount of time.
It really is not for the faintof heart.
I am measurably different thanI was before.
As I was telling a friend aboutthis the other day, the word
(16:05):
that kept coming up isunraveling.
I'm experiencing a prettysignificant unraveling right now
and in the past the feeling ofunraveling, like I kind of get
this picture of me and there's,for whatever reason, the yarn is
red and it's just spewing offin all these places as this
unraveling is happening and I'mgrabbing armfuls trying to hold
it all together.
(16:25):
But this year I'm letting itunravel and it's difficult.
But what I'm noticing is notjust losing the parts of myself
that were ready to go in thisunraveling.
It's also revealing thefoundational parts of me that
are solid, that are survivingthe unraveling, that are
(16:49):
becoming more clear and morestable than they were before.
This includes my faith and mybelief in God.
This includes my family and myrelationships and it includes
the things that are closest tomy heart, the things that I feel
called to share, to do, topursue, to learn the ways that I
(17:10):
want to grow, and I understandthat not everybody has the same
experience.
For some people, thisunraveling process would have an
impact on those things, andthis really wasn't anything that
I was expecting.
But I'm really grateful to havehad all of these things be
deepened in beautiful and Ihonestly and I don't use this
(17:34):
word lightly sacred ways, that Ihave opened to seeing things as
they are, to seeing my faithand my belief as it is, to
seeing God or the universe orwhatever word works best for you
as it is.
It is in seeing my spouse andmy children as they are, in
(18:03):
coming to accept what I feelcalled to in my heart as it is.
That has been a major part ofthe changes and shifts that have
happened for me this year sofar, and I guess that leads to
what's going to happen at theend of the year.
I have no clue and I'm a littlescared to ask because it has
been such a massive undertaking.
I think we could stop right nowand I'd have to call it a
(18:27):
success, just by the ways that Ialready know that I'm not the
same person as when we startedand there's still a whole lot of
year to come and maybe it willbe more unraveling.
Maybe at some point theunraveling will be done and I
can start building.
Who knows?
I guess we'll see when we getto the end.
And maybe another question isbased on this experience.
(18:51):
Would I want to do it again,and I'm noticing that question
is causing me to pause, which isinteresting.
Maybe I need some time tosettle and integrate before I
can answer that question.
But the Rambaldi year, theexcitement, this idea of this
adventure has really beenunderlying the whole thing and I
(19:14):
really appreciated theinfluence that has had on this
experience.
So maybe we'll set up forRambaldi year two and Rambaldi
year three.
I'm a big fan of sequels whenthey lead us to deeper
understandings of the charactersand I guess, as long as it
still feels fun and exciting, Iwould probably be in.
And if you're listening to thisand thinking, I wonder if that
(19:39):
could be for me.
Please reach out.
I would love to have aconversation about it, to see
what's possible, because really,after all, life is a journey,
even an adventure, if we let it,and it's time to start living
like it.
Thanks for being here.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
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