The Ham Ends Theory: How We Keep Making the Same Mistakes

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Questioning the status quo often makes you an outsider, but as Django discovered, that position offers unique insights. On this episode of Journey Free Podcast, author and entrepreneur Django shares how being told he "wasn't Black enough" growing up prompted him to question identity itself, opening doors rather than closing them.

Django takes us through his evolution from corporate America—where his persistent "why?" questions weren't welcome—to founding a company that revolutionizes how authors publish and profit from their work. His refreshing approach to business rejects the traditional exploitation model, instead creating win-win scenarios where creators thrive.

The conversation tackles our community's struggle with trust. Django shares a pivotal moment when a mentor challenged his defensive instinct to protect ideas with NDAs, pointing out that "99% of people have no interest in your idea." This opened Django to the liberating realization that "the ability to be open and unafraid creates more opportunities than being afraid everyone wants to steal your stuff."

We explore the profound connection between honesty and trust. "We can only trust others to the extent we can trust ourselves," Django reflects, noting how we rationalize our own dishonesty while expecting honesty from others. This insight transforms how we approach relationships and business dealings alike.

Perhaps most compelling is Django's take on questioning established norms—like the story of cutting ham ends because ovens were once too small, a practice continued long after larger ovens became available. His upcoming book "They Lied to You" examines these societal habits we've never thought to question.

Rather than offering easy answers, Django leaves us with powerful questions: "What kind of life do you want to gift your time?" and "What could you be if you were unafraid?" These serve as tools for your own journey to freedom, because sometimes the path forward begins not with finding answers, but with learning to ask better questions.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The ability opens you up to more opportunities than
being afraid that everyone wantsto steal your stuff or take
your stuff.
So I can say like, without adoubt, having to just let go of
the chance that someone couldsteal my stuff has actually
opened up the opportunity for meto trust like a lot All right,

(00:29):
good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is another edition of the Journey Free
Podcast.
I'm Dr B, I'm your host.
Oh man, as always and if youguys have been following me and
subscribed to this stuff, yourealize how excited I get
talking to people, and you knowespecially Black men, who are
doing things in this world thatare making a difference and an
impact, and it's not every daythat you probably run into folks

(00:55):
that are making it happen.
We have so much to decide.
I do a podcast on Sunday nightswhich is called why Love Waits,
and we're trying to explore whythis cross between Black women
and Black men isn't happeningfor families.
You know, when we think aboutfamilies where 50%, almost 50%

(01:20):
of Black women 49 pointsomething percent of black women
over the age of 40 have neverbeen married, and of that you
know, of that 50% that havenever been married, 75% of them
all have one child, at least onechild.
So you think of that statisticsand you go wait, what has
happened to our families?

(01:40):
What has happened to you know,the groups of folks and I'm
excited you're having, you'rehaving a baby coming up here
pretty soon and, uh, that'ssuper exciting.
But as we've been, you know,talking and working through this
and the uh, the demantelizationof the guest families and
fathers from families andthinking about, you know, the
even the 20s, 30s, 40s and 50sin our country where we were

(02:02):
segregated but your familieswere strong, our, our education
was strong and then we wedecided to get into, you know,
be integrated, and all theseother things have happened and I
just believe so much in familyand so much in in trying to to
figure this out, because, youknow, one of the things that we
were talking about even beforethe show is, you know, when we
find things that are who'swilling to go and start doing

(02:25):
the things to fix it?
And just today, to hear yourstory, to hear where you're at,
the exciting things that you'redoing, when I think about
Journey to Freedom and I thinkabout people living in purpose,
being willing to serve others, Idon't know if you can live in
purpose without serving others.
You know, I guess it's possible, but I don't know how that you

(02:48):
could do that.
You know, when I think about usliving our best lives in
fulfillment, in happiness, andwondering, you know, I see, you
know, when we're learning andwe're creating, we're happy
about that.
When we're loving and we're ina relationship, we're happy
about that.
When we're loving and we're ina relationship, we're happy

(03:08):
about that, you know.
And when we're giving andcontributing, we're happy about
that.
And so, you know, today I waslistening to you know, somebody
else's podcast and they weretalking about, you know, in
order to have love andconnection, you have to have
conflict, you know, becausethere's going to be conflict in
every relationship and it's howwe resolve those conflicts that

(03:28):
determines whether we do well.
And you don't really know whatlove is all about until you know
what love's not about.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
You know there's two sides of every coin.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I guess you know.
I think Byron Goldman saysthere's.
Have you ever seen a one-sidedpiece of bread?
Have you ever seen a one-sidedpiece of paper?
Have you ever seen a one-sidedcoin?
You don't, because they don'texist.
There's two sides to everything.
So, excited to have you ontoday, excited that you're here.
I can't wait to have thisconversation and be able to chop
it up, and I want you to startwith your story, like I do with

(03:56):
all of our guests.
You know, start wherever youbelieve is the best place in
your life to start with us, fromyour mom's womb or somewhere in
the middle.
But the floor is yours and thenwe'll just chop it up after
your story.
So thanks for being on today.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, well, I can say I typically start like right
after college.
You know, I was a publicrelations major you know, didn't
really think much of college,immediately got into technology
sales and I don't know.
It just wasn't as enjoyable.
And, as someone who has alwaysasked why are we doing things?
In a certain way it was justreally difficult for me in

(04:30):
corporate America because I wasalways asking why.
I was always asking what's thepoint of this, or I would ask
questions about the future.
Yes, we hit our number for thismonth, but what about in a year
when some of the things thatare going really well aren't,
what are we doing to prepare?
And I found out like themajority of people don't feel
that way.
They don't care about what'sgoing to happen in a year or 10

(04:52):
years.
They typically care about likewhat are we doing right now?
Are we doing what we need to doright now?
Cool, and so eventually I leftcorporate America.
Some different things happenedwhere I just was like I can't do
this anymore, to be honest.
And so I had some ideas of appsthat I had been working on
while I was there and I justdecided like, hey, I'm just
going to try to keep doing this.
And people had reached outbecause I had released some apps

(05:12):
and they were like can I learnmore?
And I got super into likepersonal development and just
trying to change my life and soin that process I spent like 60k
on like masterminds andcoaching and all kinds of other
things and in the end when I ranout of money I just kind of
lost, fell out of those groups.
You know it was like did I wantit enough?
Had I tried enough?

(05:32):
And I was asking myself Ididn't know.
You know, I just like Igenuinely didn't have an answer.
And so at that point I kind ofgot a little bit more into
spirituality, where I startedwondering if it wasn't so much
about the answers, because therewere those moments where the
answers were really good and itfelt good and it felt right.
But then sometimes thoseanswers weren't the right ones
anymore.
And so I started working onquestions, like asking myself a

(05:53):
question every day, and maybeit's a different question that I
had been asking, maybe thequality of the questions I had
or maybe the questions I thoughtmattered, they didn't matter as
much.
So I kept asking thosequestions and that's what
actually started helping mebecome a little bit, I guess,
more free in general, like Istarted asking better questions
of myself, and eventually that'swhat turned into my book.
So my book is called I Hope youWake Up.
I have another book that'sgoing to be coming out soon

(06:14):
called they Lied to you, andreally like.
The premise of the book is likewhat if the problems that we
have as a culture aren't so muchabout the answers that we're
arguing about, but more aboutthe questions?
And so I take the time to tryto ask what are some of the
illusions that we believe aretrue?
And that's what's leading tosome of the challenges we're
having.
And so in all of this, I'vebeen working building apps for

(06:35):
all kinds of companies Fortune500 startups and then I had this
idea to help authors.
So I'm an author, like I showedyou, and I just thought it was
ridiculous that Amazon keepssuch a large percentage and
doesn't tell readers what theycan actually, or doesn't tell
authors who's actually readtheir book.
So I made the company that pays85% to 90% royalties within 72

(06:55):
hours, which is industry leading.
We're focused on helping authorsactually sell their book.
We work really hard to create awin-win process, because I think
the future is creators.
I think creators are going to bethe people that make it
possible.
They're going to be like theones that make money at the end
of the day, because more andmore of our everyday tasks like
I don't know accounting or lawor whatever, are becoming more

(07:15):
and more AI-based.
It's easier for me to ask AI aquestion and then just take the
answer to my lawyer and save abunch of money.
I think more and more peopleare going to have to lean on the
creativity, and I think if youare the person driving the sale,
you should make more money andactually be able to make a
living doing it.
So now that's where we are.
I literally just got back fromLondon from the book fair.
I'm working really hard to keepworking with all these authors.

(07:36):
We're distributing authors now.
I mean it's just incredible.
So I'm excited to see what thefuture holds as I release the
new book and then scale thecompany out to work with just
our customers, the authors andpublishers out there.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Cool.
Well, I mean, I love your.
You know the part of you knowwe're doing this.
I went to the masterminds.
I didn't learn.
I started asking questions.
When I think about identity,like you are, I mean, you kind
of really showed us a lot aboutwhat you do or what you did.
But who are you?
What?
What like when you shaped youridentity growing up to become

(08:11):
the person who said, okay, waita minute, I want to go into
technology or I want to go tothis, or you know my, you know
my parents that I could do this,but I decided I could do that.
How was your identity shaped inthe communities that you grew
up in?

Speaker 1 (08:26):
well, I feel really blessed at the fact that in some
ways I didn't always get to fitin like I was always.
I'm not going to sit here andsay like I didn't get along with
people or that, like I wasbullied, but like in general I
didn't necessarily fit in superwell with a group and like
especially where I grew up andlike where my family was from,
like my cousins and stuff.
Sometimes it didn't feel like Iwas like black enough, you know

(08:47):
, like I was just like.
I got that a lot growing up.
I wasn't black enough.
My dad's like pretty lightskinned, so he also like kind of
understands that concept ofhearing that and I'd ask him
about it.
But it's like it's weird whenyou know you're black but people
act like, for some reason, youdon't fit in mold.
And People act like, for somereason, you don't fit in mold
and it just makes you ask aquestion like what does it mean
to be black?
If someone black looks at youand says you're just not black

(09:08):
enough, it's not to say thatthey're right, wrong or whatever
, but it at least makes youquestion the identity that you
have, which if you're neverquestioned in your identity,
then you can become veryconcrete in that without ever
thinking about it.
So it caused me to ask myselfwhat does it mean to be Black?
Or what does it mean to be aman?
Or what does it mean to be anentrepreneur, whatever those

(09:28):
things are?
And you start to realize thatoftentimes we care a lot more
about the validation of thewords than even, sometimes, what
they actually mean.
And by being so concrete onwhat I believe my identity is,
we can miss out on opportunitiesbecause we're saying to
ourselves that's not me orthat's not us, or you know,
that's for those people overthere which I still did for a

(09:49):
long time.
I'll even like as a joke, I usedto tell people like black
people don't wear flip-flops,and then one day I wore some
flip-flops to the beach and Iwas like, wow, like this is a
lot better, there's something tothis.
So you know, like you can endup just even like that's kind of
it's a joke and it's funnyabout that, but like I kind of
missed out on this opportunitybecause I want to wear sneaks to
the, to the beach.

(10:10):
You know, I'm like I'm fly orwhatever, but then it was like I
started wearing flip-flops.
I'm like man, this is a loteasier and like this makes a lot
of sense.
But our identities can connectedto others but can also keep us
from the opportunities that areout there and so like that's why
I just like as an identity, I'mvery lucky that in some ways, I
wasn't always accepted into anyone space, because it made me

(10:32):
ask so much of what it meant tobe a part of that space and that
helped me to just you know, Ican be okay with the fact that I
know I'm black, but it alsodoesn't matter to me so much
that people, maybe maybe someoneelse, might say you're not
black enough for this space oryou're not.
You're not like me in this way,you know.
So that's just.
I guess that's the best way Ican kind of describe my
relationship.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I like where that, where that's going, because I
think one of the things that hasbeen a travesty.
Or just how, our America.
I guess, when I think aboutAmerica, the number one thing
that they've wanted us to knowabout ourselves, but the number
one thing that they want us tobelieve, is that the most
important part about us is beingblack, when a hundred percent

(11:15):
is not.
You know, I'm a father, I'm ahusband, I'm a, you know, an
entrepreneur, all these thingsthat are my identity.
But they want me to put thatI'm Black up front.
You know as, because they wantme to, because of whatever.
I think it's a lot of theinferiority that we believe that
we have, or that we're notenough, and all the things that

(11:36):
Blackness represents, that theywant to say okay, for the last
400 years you haven't been partof our site, but the most
important part about you is thatthe color of your skin, when it
really isn't, you know, and somuch of what we say and we bring
together and we get stuck on,is in this culture of okay, what
does that mean?
To even be Black, right?

(11:58):
And we're always trying tofigure it out.
And how do I move myselfthrough our society?
When you were growing up, whenyou had your, you were growing
up when you had your, you knowyour parents that were, you know
, helping you with your idea.
Like we all shape, ours werethe communities and the things
you were in, you know, I guessgeared towards uh, this is what
we do as a family, or was it?

(12:18):
You know, kind of what was thatupbringing like?

Speaker 1 (12:22):
well, I was homeschooled until high school
and I was kind of out in thecountryside.
So my family is a little bitlike non-traditional in maybe
how I was raised as a blackperson, just because I don't
know many black people that werehomeschooled, and it was like a
more.
There were more white people inthat area, just like living out
, and it was northern virginia,just kind of middle of nowhere.
But my family it's funny I can,I cantrack a little bit so,

(12:44):
like my entire family on mydad's side, is originally from
Shelby, north Carolina, and mygrandfather, when he decided,
hey, I want to go to a placewhere there's more opportunity,
moved to Reston, to, you know,basically be able to work at
NASA and for the government atthe time.
And so my dad grew up in sortof a predominantly different
sort of area.
But then in turn my dad wantedus to have a certain opportunity

(13:07):
and grow up in an area that wasjust a little bit better.
So then we moved to a better,you know, like just county as a,
as an infrastructure, I guessis a better way to put it,
because I look at some of theinfrastructures that some of my
family grew up in that'sextended and I definitely can
see some of the opportunity thatI had, that I maybe took for
granted, but in all of that,what I can say is is that my

(13:27):
parents because I washomeschooled did a really good
job of saying, hey, this is whowe are, as like the degrees,
like that's my last name andthis is what we do as a family.
And in some ways, though,because some of that fell apart
when I got older, it againempowered me to question why I
do things, because sometimes asa family, you can get so caught

(13:48):
up in the identity.
There are these jokes thatpeople always do where it's
almost like kind of cultish howa family can be.
But if you never have anythingthat causes you to question it,
then you just sort of are justaccepting things for what they
were.
So, because everything kind offell apart in some ways as I got
older, it actually made me askagain questions about who am I,

(14:11):
what do I want to do, does thiswork for me in this frame of my
life or not?
And it's really helped methrough that process to be as
open to all the opportunitiesthat are available to me.
I'm not just stuck in one placesaying this is how I have to be
, no matter what, even thoughI'm unhappy, or even though I
hate it, or even though it's noteven working anymore, I'm able
to be, you know, open to that.
So I tell my parents all thetime I'm so thankful for how
things ended up going, because Idon't know that I would have
ever even known to ask thosequestions if they hadn't made my

(14:34):
identity so strong as a kid tothen, you know, things not work
out, and that's like the beautyof every time something doesn't
work out, you end up kind ofgiving yourself the opportunity
to learn.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
So of every time something doesn't work out, you
end up kind of giving yourselfthe opportunity to learn.
Yeah, and I would love to know.
I mean so you go one througheighth grade and then you go to
public school, I guess.
Yeah, public school.
What was that transition like?
I mean, was the school waydifferent because you had
friends and stuff that werethere?
Or was it like I've beenlearning?
I've already learned all thisstuff.
Why am I here?
Because usually folks that arehomeschooled are so great and

(15:07):
their thought process is sodifferent.
Now you're getting into ourindoctrination camps or whatever
schools we call it.
You're learning how to be anemployee is pretty much what we
teach here.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
You have all different types of things.
I think my parents, for betteror worse, just always asked me
why, like, why, and they wouldmake me ask the question why.
I did do a lot of readinggrowing up and I learned a lot
about just a lot of differentthings Like from.
I realized like I'm probably inthe top like 0.5% of
understanding, like biblicalscriptures and like stories,
like just that was a big part ofour, our learning, learning

(15:43):
process.
There's a lot to criticalthinking that they taught and so
school doesn't really give youthe space for that.
It's very much a.
This is what we're learning andwhy are you asking why?
Why are you asking why you haveto take AP calculus?
Why are you asking why thehonors program exists or
whatever?
So that was the hardest partfor me going in high school and

(16:04):
college.
I'm a super social person, sobeing social with people isn't
difficult.
I was like joking a little bitlike of a there's I have a lot
of empathy and like an opennesstrait.
So when I meet someone I'mautomatically very like I don't
really care what I think, I'mtrying to understand what you
think.
So that makes it very easy tolike shift in between different
places.
But when I was, I remember I wasin an accounting class in

(16:24):
college and I just was like whyare we doing this?
And the teacher was like youknow, what do you mean?
Why are we doing this?
And I was like I don'tunderstand why we're doing this,
like I think it's dumb.
Can you tell me, can you, canyou validate your why we're
doing it this way?
And you know, I mean the same.
They don't really have ananswer.
So yeah, so that was like thatwas the thing that was the most

(16:46):
funny about it.
It was like I was like why arewe doing?
I just that was the hardestpart about school.
I'd just be like why are wedoing this?
And no one ever could give me agood answer which you know, I
just would always keep that inmy back pocket of like I don't
know that this matters at all.
So that was the hardest partabout like the switch to high
school is just people not beingable to validate the reason that

(17:06):
we're doing things.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
So I think it kind of translates into you working for
somebody else as well as youhave and say wait a minute, why
am I doing this?
Why am I putting this time,doing this all day long?
Because it's really creatingprofit for the company, am I
just?
You know, especially when youhave like?
I guess if you're in jobs andyou have managers and stuff.

(17:30):
When I was teaching, I wouldalways push some principles this
is dumb.
How are we teaching kids likethis?
I went to university and I wasan administrator and so I ran my
department a little bitdifferent than other professors
did.
They're like well, why do youwant me to do this?
I don't want this.
You know, like you said, thisis dumb.
It doesn't make any sense.

(17:50):
You know, if the university istrying to make money, then why
are we doing stuffcounterproductive?
You know, to me, if I passedevery student and they've
learned the information, thenthat's a good thing.
Why do you want me to have apercentage that don't have?

Speaker 1 (18:06):
I remember that was when I changed my major from
business to communications.
There was this professor I hadand he just was like started the
class off just kind of sayingthat he had like a higher than
50% failure rate and I just kindof was like I was like why are
like does that doesn't make youa bad teacher?
Like I just don't understandlike does that?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
doesn't it make you a bad teacher?
Like I just don't understand.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Like learning for a test like why is your barometer
of success, or validation ofsuccess, not 100% of my students
pass?
Like I don't understand.
I didn't understand itgenuinely.
So I asked him about it and hewas just, like you know, this is
a class that makes or breaksstudents to find out if this is
what they want to do.
And I'm like, yeah, but like,but, like you're the teacher, I
don't understand.
Like, conceptually, can youexplain to me why you think it's

(18:49):
good to have students fail?
Like wouldn't that?
And he, I don't know.
Like that was when you, when Iwas getting older, I started
realizing that a lot of times weeventually just say like,
accept an answer to be yes, likeyou just stop asking why.
So you finally get to a pointit validates some part of your
existence and so this is, thisis yes from now on.
And when you ask questions ofpeople about why they do

(19:11):
something a certain way and theyhaven't actually asked that
question, they typically getvery angry.
Like I really pissed off a lotof professors and teachers for
this basic reason of asking why,like, why?
And they're like what do youmean why?
Like who asked why what's wrong?
They're like what do you mean?
Why, like?
Who asked why?
What's wrong with you?
Who do you think you are django?
I'm like, I don't know.
I don't even know who I am.
I'm just asking why.
So that was something that Ithink is really interesting,

(19:32):
like with you describing thatwith like the like, the
percentage of people who need topass like.
Why wouldn't you want a hundredpercent?
Why wouldn't that be the waythat we set up success as a
teacher?

Speaker 2 (19:40):
I don't yeah, I don't know.
To me that means that I'm 50%failure.
50% of my students don't passmy class.
That means I didn't teach themwhat they were supposed to learn
in order to pass.
I still love it because itreminded me of the story of the
ham.
They cut off the ends of theham at Thanksgiving and then
they put it in the oven.

(20:01):
And then they you know theywere.
So you know, one of the I guessit was one of the children said
well, why do you cut off theends of the ham?
Every year we come home and youcut off the ends of the ham and
put it in the oven, and thenshe goes.
I don't know why.
Well, let's call grandmaGrandma.
Why do we do it?
I don't know if my grandma didit Great grandma, still alive.
And you know, great grandma,why do you cut off the ends of

(20:22):
the ham before you put them inthe oven?
She said because the ovenwasn't big enough.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
And I didn't have the oven.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
You know, like you said, we just accept the answers
.
You know the reason we did itwas because I didn't have an
oven that would fit the ham, soI cut the ends off and then it
just became a tradition andpeople do it.
Oh my gosh, I love where we'regoing when I think about trust,
because that's kind of one ofwe've got to trust the people
that are around that we're inproximity to and our

(20:48):
associations, and so one of thereasons that I even started
Journey to Freedom because thiswould be a second we were
struggling as a community totrust.
We have trouble trustingourselves, we have trouble
trusting each other, we havetrouble trusting our women.
We have trouble trusting ourwomen.
We have trouble trusting whitemen, whatever the society is
that we do.
Although trust is so important,how has your ability to trust,

(21:12):
you know, impacted your career?
The things that you're doing?
I mean, you're able to go toLondon Do you trust the people
that are overseas more than youdo the people that are here?
Is it just because you have arelationship that you create
relationships?
When you think about trust, Ican say this is.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
There are a few moments that I can actually
highlight along this line oftrust.
I remember when I was firstcreating like a full scale,
trying to do a company, therewas a black guy that I just
remember.
I called him, my mom hadconnected me with him.
He was like he could help mewith building the product and I

(21:51):
was like, hey, I need you tosign an NDA before I tell you
the idea.
And he was like Django, let metell you something Like.
And he went through this wholepart he like explained to me
that 99% of people have nointerest in your idea and then,
of that, 1% of the people whomaybe have interest could ever
steal your idea.
So you're going to have totrust and just be open to the
numbers, the percentage chanceof this.
And I feel like I run into thiswithin, like the black
community more than any othercommunity, where there's like

(22:12):
kind of a general distrust thatpeople are going to steal
something.
Um, like people will reach outto me because now you know, I
got built a venture, backedstartup, I've done certain
things that are like Django, Igot this great idea.
I want to tell you about it.
It's going to change your world, um, but I need you to sign the

(22:32):
NDA first.
I'm like it's like I just tellthe same story to everyone.
It's connected.
Like me and my co-founder, whenme and him first met, I told
him the idea that I had he.
He told me he loved the idea.
We started building.
Before we ever created acompany or did anything, he was
developing it, I was justworking and then we signed
contracts later.
I'm not saying that that's thebest thing to do, but, like the
open, the ability to be open andunafraid opens you up to more

(22:54):
opportunities than being afraidthat everyone wants to steal
your stuff or take your stuff.
So I can say, like, without adoubt, having to just let go of
the chance that someone couldsteal my stuff has actually
opened up the opportunity for meto trust, like a lot.
And then the other side of thisthat I've noticed is we
typically can only trust othersto the extent that we can trust,
like ourselves.
And so, like when I first gotinto corporate America and even

(23:16):
when I was in college, there'slike this underlying thing where
you need to get stuff inwriting because you, if you
don't have it in writing, youcan't prove that it actually
happened.
And I remember one day I waslike, if we're saying that I
have to get it in writingbecause the person, when the
time comes, may lie, we'resaying that we understand that
we all will lie if it means thatwe'll get what we want.

(23:37):
And I do think, as a culturelike, we're not very honest with
ourselves about the fact thatwe are very comfortable with
lying if we feel like it'swhat's best for us.
And then we rationalize afterAmazon, so big, it doesn't
matter that we had to do areturn.
You know, this isn't for me tohit my number and feed my kids,
so I need to do this in order todo this.
So, like what I started torecognize within myself was part

(23:58):
of my inability to trust otherswas as much about like in those
moments where you know I'm at acrossroads, where I can get the
thing that I want and you knowin turn, you know, you know or
or be honest.
I truthfully wasn't willing tobe honest, so I've been able to
trust more the more honest thatI've been willing to be.
Granted, it doesn't always workout in my favor, right, like

(24:19):
sometimes if I just lied andyelled and cussed out somebody
on the Amazon hotline.
I would have gotten the returnand the other stuff.
But because I'm being nice, youknow I don't get the thing.
But I definitely had to startdeciding that I would be
trustworthy and honest myself,even though maybe the rest of
the other people decide not tobe, because I don't know how it
would ever get better if.
If I'm just not willing to dothat.

(24:39):
So I can say that about trusttoo.
Like those are those two sidesof moments where I can really
say like trust helped me a lot.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
I love that because we think just the fact that
you're saying people are willingto lie and to rationalize.
I do a three mile walk everyday and at least the other day
I'm just thinking you knowsomebody I don't know who, this
is on a podcast I was on andthey started talking about you
know our propensity to lie and Iwas thinking, well, jesus,

(25:10):
without sin, went 33 yearswithout lying.
You know, when I start thinkingof myself, the advice I say to
myself on a weekly basis, thethings that I do to rationalize,
and I love the fact that thatis important to you and it's
something that you're thinkingabout.
And then I think about, likecontracts in our world are based
on a mutual distrust.

(25:31):
We don't know what a contractis.
Both of us don't trust eachother, so we're going to put in
a contract that puts parametersaround a mutual distrust and I
think, like a covenant, whereit's, you know this is based on
hey, we're going to do thistogether or we'll die trying,
you know, and just that wholeprocess of how do we start

(25:52):
building and I think a lot of itcomes out and you can can you
know, test this is there's justa belief, especially in our
community that there's so muchleft.
You know I think of our last.
You know not.
You know, I think the world'sgot abundance, there's a million
resources, but we're worriedsomebody's going to steal my one
idea.
We're worried that I can't comeup with another idea.

(26:14):
This is my one idea that I'llhave for the rest of my life and
you know, and fear.
The fear is that we paralyzeourselves because of this fear
of lack.
When I think of just this, allthe folks that I've been talking
to since our election, and allbased on fear.
Well, what if they take this?
What if we?

(26:34):
And we're going down thesepaths of what ifs?
And you know, on my calloutside somebody was actually
talking about that they're goingto take benefits away from
veterans.
You know, in a big way, and Ijust I don't see it.
There's other things they'regoing to be able to do, the
folks that serve their countryand how they got to do it.
But literally in fear, like,well, I guess I'm not going to

(26:57):
spend any of my money ever againbecause you know, or I'm going
to move to London because,whatever those fears are and
just what your thought on lackversus abundance and opportunity
, and you know the world wherewe live.
We use our minds andimagination to create it.
We're not using our handsanymore, and so our minds and
imagination to create.
We're not using our our handsanymore, and so our minds are

(27:19):
indefinite.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah I can agree with that.
I think I've been working on athought so I could misspeak on
this, but, like it's very easyto to create an identity with
another group based on looks.
I would say it's the easiestone.
So you know, for instance, likebeing in London or going

(27:42):
overseas or reading history, youfind out that, like, even if
all the people look the same,they found ways to split
themselves into groups, right.
So, like in America I think itwas, it's been the easiest to
try to identify a separation ofgroups by look.
And then we even, like, gotinto the point of you may look
the part, but then we're still,like giving names to how you're
different, octoroon or whatever.
The number is right.
But the thing that'sinteresting is the identity of a

(28:08):
group in most cases ends at apoint where we say these people
are excluded from the group.
And it's really easy to have avery like strong ourselves group
thought process when we canreally truly identify like this
is what we're up against.
So, like when I talked to mygrandfather, for instance, who
you know did sit-ins and allthese other things, there was a,
there was a strong unificationof it's us versus them, like we.

(28:29):
We have to do this together,otherwise, like it's just not
going to work.
I think that's where a lot ofour like strength, uh, came from
.
Like it's from the identity ofthere's no question that we're
against these people and like mygrandfather actually told me
that he always kind of wishedfor separate but equal, like
that was what he wanted.
He didn't want to integrate atall, he didn't want it to be

(28:51):
like mlb, he wanted to be negroleagues and in this league he
wanted it to be.
He just wanted it to be equal.
Because he recognized that likethere was a value to like us
being us, like us identifyingand being able to very easily
identify ourselves as this.
And so the thing that'sinteresting about all this is,
like now the question is, likewhat is it that we value?

(29:14):
Like that's where I, like I havea really hard time.
It like it always comes comesdown to money.
Like there's always those jokesLike would you punch your mom
until for like a million dollars, and then like the videos, like
that sky, like punching a wallor whatever, like it's his mom
or like like I just feel likethe value at the core is the
money, and so if the money isthe only thing that matters in
this case.
How can you ever trust likeanyone because we're all like,

(29:35):
basically, we've all admitted tothe fact that we're not.
It's not about like trustingourselves and trusting to do the
right thing or being a part ofthis group.
It's just like it's about themoney, like, and so then, in
turn, like it is a scarcitymindset, because you're like I
gotta get the money as fast aspossible.
I gotta figure out how to getit by any means possible.
I gotta get rich or die trying.
I gotta like it always.

(29:56):
Like this is the only time thatI have to do this, because you
know it's just perfect timing,otherwise, like I'll never be
able to get back, because it'salmost like who's your group,
who's the?
Who are we building thefoundation for?
What are we, you know, doing togo forward Like?
I'll finish it with thisthought this is this is a video
that I made recently.
The the shard, which is one ofour more famous buildings in

(30:18):
london, took three years tobuild.
Big ben took 10 years to buildthe.
I forget I say the word wrongall the time.
It's like the west westminsterabbey, like the abbey, that's
nearby there took 250 years tobuild.
the person who created that, whoknew like hey, this is what
we're going to build, knew thatin their, their entire lifetime.

(30:38):
There's no chance you're goingto see this, but there's enough
trust and a belief in what couldbe in the future of like the
foundation that we have, thatyou would start to build
something and people would spendtheir entire lives for like
four generations, to buildsomething that none of them
would get to see.
And I think that's like reallyonly possible if at the baseline

(31:00):
, there's trust and then on thenext level, there's an idea that
it's not about the scarcity oflike this is the only idea we
have.
It's like we're buildingtowards something bigger than
just money or financial freedomor whatever the thing is Like.
That's sort of where, like Iwas trying to, I in a way like
this is how I've just beenthinking about it lately Like
maybe in that baseline there'sthis loss of both trust and then

(31:20):
, in turn, a fear of not gettingenough of what's yours, that we
can never really like cometogether to build this bigger
thing, because we're all verymuch in like our little boxes
left or right or whatever.
It just makes it very difficultto view things from an abundance
perspective, where you'resaying I could potentially build

(31:42):
something that could last alifetime because me and this
group are coming together tobuild something beyond ourselves
.
So that's like I don't have theidea fully fleshed.
That's why it takes so long todescribe.
But it's just all like I'mworking through that as I'm
writing this book and I just Idon't really understand what it
is.
But there's something in whatI'm saying.
That's true.
I just don't have the word forit yet, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, I love what you're saying because it makes
you think do we have to justjump into this scarcity mindset?
Yeah, because it's very.
I was watching a show lastnight and as I was thinking
about it I've been thinkingabout the same concept and the
show.
The guy on the show is saying Ihave this opportunity to be

(32:23):
wealthy.
And he goes to his wife and hesays Wife, I would like to be
wealthy, but in order for me tobe wealthy, that means I have to
take from somebody who alreadyhas what I want, because there's
not enough for both of us tohave, so I'm going to take.

(32:45):
And then they gave some kind ofanalogy about you know.
So you're saying that I, youknow, in order to do that, I
have to take.
I have to go to the queen andyou know, in the cat that's in
the castle and if I want her capI gotta throw her out right.
And the wife goes.
Well, darling, if you got thetake from somebody, make sure

(33:05):
you, you, you, you take them tothe point where you throw them
off the building.
That's high enough that they'llcan never come back and take it
back, kind of like, oh my god,that they can never come back
and take it back.
I'm like, oh my God, that's theissue in our country, that's
the issue everywhere is peoplesay in order for me to have, I

(33:27):
must have to take you can makeyour life, I wonder.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
So, like again, this comes back to identity, maybe a
little bit.
If the furthest thing that youidentify with is like yourself
and what you're going to get, Ithink we end up in the place
we're at, when, like, forinstance, we're saying, hey,
social Security is going to runout soon and people are like,
yeah, I agree, we should fix it,but like I don't want to lose
mine.
So whatever you do, don't dothat for me Right.

(33:54):
For me right Like, hey, medicaidis gonna run out of money.
We all agree on that, Likewhat's funny to me is, like no
one I've never heard anyone saySocial Security is not going to
run out of money.
I've heard this for like 10years now that we're like just
kind of staring down a blackhole and the argument back is,
though, I'm not willing to tradeoff for whatever is mine, so,
in turn, we never fix theproblem.
We just kind of like kick thecan down the road, and I just

(34:15):
kind of feel like that is ourbiggest challenge, as, like a
culture is like individually, wedo, like obviously I don't know
what the balance is.
To some extent, if everyonewants everything, then no one
ever gets anything, in a way,because we just keep sort of
causing more problems, becauseeveryone's sort of like fighting
against themselves, in a way,because you're like'm willing to
see, I want to see change.

(34:37):
I'm just not willing to seechange now, so, like maybe we'll
leave it to the kids or maybe,you know, we'll take from this
other group that's not me butlike, as long as that's sort of
our back and forth, I don'treally know how we can ever move
forward, cause, no, it's notlike sacrifice is almost the
wrong word.
It's like we're just not opento another way of doing things,

(34:57):
cause we're like this is howit's always been done.
You know, like you reach acertain age, you get so security
.
I paid my part period.
And it's like, yeah, but it'sgoing to run out, and it's like,
okay, well, it's not my problem, I did, I did my part, it
should work.
You know, I don't care.

(35:22):
I don't know how we can evermove forward if everything's
always about at least just thelargest group maybe is is is how
it kind of functions right now,like whoever has the largest
voice just decides.
This is how we're going to doit for now, and then the next
group becomes a larger voicebecause they're so pissed off
about not getting what theywanted.
I don't know, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
So help me on this one, because this is this is
just me and my thought processhere, and you took that
accounting class I'm assumingyou passed it, so you can
understand this.
Every time that we actually saywe're going to run out of money
, we just make more.
And then we say, well, we'regoing to borrow from China or
whoever else, well, they're justmaking up money right to loan
it.
It's like, do we just keepmaking up money?

(36:03):
Do we just keep making money?
Or eventually it's going to runout of money?
It's just, we print it and thenwe say this is how we trade
goods back and forth.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Well, I think this is what I find interesting, so
like I run a venture act startup, so I have a very interesting
thought process on this.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
If.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
I go out and I raise a round.
For, let's say, we get to thepoint where I'm going to raise a
billion dollar round at youknow, and we're going to raise
$200 million on that, we'regoing to dilute everyone who has
shares by 20%.
That's just how that works.
We are going to create sharesout of thin air to create value
so that people can invest inthis, and then, technically
speaking, all of us have less ofthe company, but hopefully it's

(36:45):
worth more.
Theoretically, what I see goingon is is like we have a problem
right now because we don't knowhow to not spend more than
currently exists, so then wejust print more to kick the can
down the road.
The challenge is is like thelonger you do that at some point
, like we just get to a point,like we can say there's

(37:06):
inflation, not inflation, changethe cpi numbers however we want
, but like we can't pretend thatsaying that a pot of like
let's's just say, for lack ofbetter numbers, like a billion
and a trillion, doesn't causethe person who has a fixed
income of a hundred thousand tolose the ability to like, do
something right, like, like.

(37:27):
At the end of the day, theassets, the assets that exist
can't change that much.
There's only so much chicken,so many cows, so much lumber.
You're just slowly increasingthe price because, in order to
maintain the percentage of thesize, it just is what it is.
So I, like I hear the argumentseveryone makes like we have to
do this, but like you don't haveto do anything.
You choose to do something andtypically when someone tells me

(37:50):
they have to do something, it'stypically the easiest thing for
them to do, which I think that'sthe case we're in.
It's like I don't again, like Isaid before, I don't want to
give up my money that I get forsocial security.
I'm not giving it up.
Okay, you're not giving it up,we're not going to change
anything.
So we're just going to printmore and then take some of the
print and put it over here andthen you know it just

(38:10):
artificially inflates the amountof available currency.
So I mean I don't, you can dothat, I guess, until people are
angry, enough that they're angry.
I mean we've seen this happenbefore having in Britain, having
in Germany, having in Russia.
I mean this isn't like a newconcept.
You just print until everyone'stoo poor we just saw it in
Venezuela Like eventually,dollars will be toilet paper if

(38:30):
we keep up with this.
But I mean like I don't, Idon't, I don't have an answer.
It doesn't really seem likeanyone's ever really been able
to get this in control when theyhave the ability to do it,
because I think we lack controlin general as humans.
So I don't know, that's my rant.
I don't talk about it too much,but I just think it's funny
because-.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
I'm glad I got you to do it, though.
I'm glad I got you to do it,yeah, yeah, you got me to do it.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
I don't know how.
It seems like elementary mathif we, if we're like on the
playground and there's x amountof toys, there's not a choice to
go out and you just introducemore toys.
It doesn't make people betterat sharing, it just means
there's more toys here.
So, like the, the toys haveless value, right, like they
would be less valuable to thekids because you don't have to
share them around.
So there's, I mean, I don't, Idon't know.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
I just I feel like it's easy, but everyone makes it
more complicated than it needsto be yeah um, you talked about
you, your journey, and youtalked about where you know you
went to these masterminds, andthen you said you became more
spiritual, maybe kind of talkabout your spiritual journey a
little bit and how that impactsand and reacts to the things

(39:33):
that you do now, uh, in life,whatever that is yeah, yeah, I
think.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Uh, I think what's interesting is when I look back
at the masterminds and stuff, itreminded me a lot of church.
So growing up in church it waskind of a very similar structure
.
Music that's very uplifting.
Everyone is there with a commoncause.
You bring in people to speak.
I remember back in the day I'dgo to my grandma's church.
A guest speaker comes inhalfway through the singing and

(40:03):
then they come up and they talk.
There's sort of an end where wetypically would do a tithe for
that person, but in this casethe person would sell us the
book and we'd be like, wow, whatan amazing book.
And then this person also has amastermind we should go to,
which reminded me a lot of achurch.
Church, like, it's justinteresting that the structures,
when I think back to it, are sosimilar, and so that's what
eventually kind of got me to theplace.
We're starting to realize thatthere is a value to it.
It's not that people didsomething wrong.

(40:24):
I think there's something tolike the human condition that
enjoys being in a space withlike-minded people where we are
all working towards somepositive common goal.
And in all of these cases,money can become an issue, right
, like you get to like a megachurch size.
Or you get to the point wherepeople are, like you got to give
that 10% tithe, even if it'syour last.
Very similar issue, right, likewhere money becomes an

(40:45):
underlying prescriber of successfor the church or for the
mastermind.
So, like, I loved being there,I loved the space, I loved the
feeling, I loved the music, Ilove the joy, I love feeling
like I had an opportunity tobuild something.
But I definitely realized thatyou can get so caught up in the
validation of the space that youcan lose track of the goal that

(41:06):
you actually had.
Like, my goal has always beento, like, support creators, help
them in any way I can andeventually, when I have the
means, help orphans and fosterkids.
But then, like, what I realizednow is is, in some ways, I got
so caught up in the validationof that space, like I was giving
money to maintain thevalidation of that space, even
when that space wasn'tnecessarily being helpful for
the goals that I actually have.
So, like, for me, I'verecognized that there's a,

(41:30):
there's a value to being aroundpeople who are, again, like,
like-minded, want to be positive, want to grow, want to be there
with you and that can be foundalmost anywhere.
If you are actually like thatwhich I found that I had to be
honest with myself.
I wasn't like that.
I wanted to be negative.
I wanted to be like.
You know, this is just the waythe world is it's crappy, it's
this, it's that.

(41:51):
And as I've changed my languageand worked on being more
positive, I've just had morepositive people in my life, and
sometimes I still go to churchor different churches.
Sometimes I, you know, just tryto be open in the space and ask
people about what they feel andyou just get surprised when
people are actually open andcommunicative, some people get
angry.
I can't.
Like I said, people typicallyget angry when you ask a why

(42:12):
that they're not ready to have aconversation about.
But that's what I can say forsure, like it's something
beautiful about that space.
But you do need to ask yourself, like what is it that I'm
getting out of this space?
Because even in church, likeI've had this I had it happen to
me in churches where, like it'snot really about the faith
anymore, it's not really aboutyour relationship with God.
Maybe it's about what I feel,like I am here.

(42:32):
Sometimes it's about, you know,like the money that you're
getting out of it or whateverthe case is.
So that's sort of.
That's sort of where I ended up, at least on like the religious
part.
From a spiritual perspective,nothing has been better than
just being honest with myselfand asking the questions of
myself every day.
That, uh, that I have to behonest with myself to answer

(42:54):
Like am I really putting my bestfoot forward?
Um, do I really just like, do Ihave to be honest with myself
to answer Like am I reallyputting my best foot forward?
Do I really just like do I wantto be right more than I want to
be happy today?
Like, am I arguing with peoplefor no reason just so that I can
get that like emotional?
You know, oomph, that I provedthat person wrong.
You know, am I taking the timeto pray and ask not for stuff,
but more of like clarity andopenness to what's around me,

(43:16):
instead of it being like I needto get this next thing?
So it's a weird journey, but Ithink it just never ends
Sometimes.
We're always looking for ananswer and I think it's more
about just asking the rightquestions.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Again, like I was saying before, Thank you for
sharing those questions too,because I think, when you say
I'm asking myself the questions,my thought was what questions
are you?

Speaker 1 (43:37):
asking.
One of the questions I had toask myself was like, can you
like one of the questions of mybook?
It's like, can youunconditionally love anyone if
you don't unconditionally loveeveryone?
Because, like, I knew that Ihad said I unconditionally love
certain people but I hadconditions on others.
So, like, is the unconditionallove that I'm saying is
unconditional, I just haven'tfound the conditions yet,
because I have conditionsalready set where I would shut

(43:57):
people out.
Maybe what I say the conditionis is like blood.
Maybe I say the condition iswhatever, but like, I've
actually really set conditions.
So really no one actually canbe loved unconditionally.
I'm really choosing conditionallove.
But like, at least I becameaware of it, you know, I like
suddenly now I'm asking myselflike, wow, I'm like.
Another question I asked waslike, which version of the voice
in my head am I Like?

(44:18):
Seriously, do you ever likethink about the fact that you
can be like having some weirdconversation in your head where
you're both the negative and thepositive?
You know, when you wake up, youset an alarm for 5 am, so a
part of you knows that youshould wake up and do this thing
, but then there's this othervoice.
That's like I don't really wantto work out today, but like,

(44:41):
are you thinking I never hadthought about the fact that,
like I'm neither voice thoughLike I'm, I'm actually not
either it's because they're boththere but like, maybe I'm more
the the the awareness of thevoice?
I don't, I don't know, but likeit's pretty weird that you have
two different people going offin your head about not getting
up for this workout and I thinkit's also weird we identify with
one more than the other.
What if I'm neither of thosevoices and I'm the person who
knows what I have the capabilityof doing?
And is the reason I set thealarm before.

(45:01):
Like you just start to ifyou're willing to ask those
questions that maybe you'venever asked before, because no
one ever thought to even giveyou those words, all of a sudden
you're like wow, like yeah,it's weird.
Maybe I can just be nicer tomyself and, like you know, go
work out because I love workingout.
Or maybe myself, and like youknow, go work out because I love
working out.
Or maybe I can love people justbecause you know I'm grateful
that they're in my life.
Or you know, whatever, whateveryou decide, I don't really care

(45:21):
what people decide.
That's why I didn't giveanswers.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
I just want people to have the words to ask a
question, to decide forthemselves well, you're
absolutely confirming to me thatthe spiritual, invisible world
is, to me, more real than theworld we actually live in,
because we do the thoughts thatwe have on a daily basis.
That you know, the fact thatyou and I can have this

(45:44):
conversation from a differentpart of the world, that it's
whatever, it's just, oh my gosh,I love it.
I wanted you know, talk alittle bit about.
You know, for black men theysay their average age is going
to be you know that we die at is72.
There's so many men that I talkto that have so much to give,

(46:08):
but they're just not healthy.
They're just.
You know they're fighting theirweight or they're fighting
their.
You know all of the diseasesthat high blood pressure and
diabetes and you're young enoughnow where it's probably not
impacting you the way I've beenturned 60 last week, and so you
know it's a bigger thought in mymind.
You know I want to live to mydad's 86 and he's still running

(46:29):
track meets and you know mymom's 80 and she's doing
phenomenal.
And I'm thinking, you know, formy own mortality.
What are some things thatyou're doing now to make sure
and I don't want to just meanphysical health, because I also
want to talk about mental healtha little bit because, as we're
thinking all these thoughts andyou're asking all these
questions, how do you keep yourmind?

(46:52):
I love that you're writingbooks and get out of it.
I want you to stay healthy.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Well, I have an interesting thought about this.
So at one point I was like 260pounds, but all very big, very
fat, and I decided I wanted tolose the weight.
So I got I went pretty davidgoggins if you know who that is
very like two a days.
We're going after it.
Um, eventually I cut out meatcompletely for a period of time
and I was vegan.
I did fasting.

(47:18):
I fasted for over like a week acouple of times, like period of
time and I was vegan.
I did fasting.
I fasted for over like a week acouple of times like a water
fast.
And what was interesting in allof this because I've been from
260 to 198 to like I hover atlike 230.
It's a healthy weight I didcarnivore, where I literally
only ate meat.
What was really interesting inall of this is I realized that,
like there's a quote that I sayall the time it's like it's
neither good nor bad thinkingmakes it.

(47:38):
So I realized that like and Iwrote this in my book the chains
that I had forged, where I wasunhappy with myself and I ate
too much and I did all thesedifferent things, became the
same chains I would create formyself when it came to like
fasting and other places,because I could really only
accept myself to the ability oflike the validation that I got,
so like my unhealthyrelationship with food came from

(48:01):
a place of love for my family,because I ate the most out of
anybody and it was always like ajoke that Django could get
anything.
I used to be called like avacuum.
I eat a pizza, I eat a sub.
So it grew until I was olderand I wasn't working out as much
, turned into a problem and Ilike couldn't stop eating
because I didn't understand,like I couldn't not finish the
plate because of things thathappened in my childhood that
weren't even negative.
It was just like I never asked.
Then I got to a healthyrelationship with food.

(48:23):
I felt like, but then all of asudden I can't accept myself if
I don't go to the gym and I'mlike Django, you piece of trash,
like you're supposed to get tothe gym every day, even though
I've been to the gym every dayfor the last three years and I
realized, like the aches andpains that I had being like big
and fat.
I now had working out every dayand pushing my body so far that

(48:43):
it was like breaking down insome ways, or fasting, even
though I didn't need to fast.
So there's this issue.
I think sometimes of like,asking the question of like, why
am I doing this?
Why can't I be, why can't I dothings for the love of myself,
rather than it being like I'm apiece of trash?
And I got to beat myself up todo the right thing.
And that's where I finally gotto a shift where, like, it's not
about doing things because Ineed to be better or I you know

(49:07):
this has to be for the future.
Generations or my ancestors arewatching.
Like, why can't I just lovemyself to do the thing that I
need to do today?
Like, why can't I just likewake up and say, whether it's
praying, whether it's doingthings that are unconventional
to what other people might say,or it's doing things for my
physical health, like, why can'tI do that from like a space of
saying that I love myself enough?

(49:27):
I also just recognize ingeneral within the black
community between guys, it'sweird for us to say that we love
each other.
I see a lot of people trying tomake like content, to say like
we should do it more often, buttrying to make like content, to
say like we should do it moreoften.
But the truth of the matter iswe can only give the love that
we have already and most of usonly love ourselves to the
condition that we can acceptourselves, whatever that means.

(49:48):
Like if it's I'm the workoutperson, I'm the hood person, I'm
the, I'm the hard person, I'mthe father, whatever, like, you
can only love yourself to theextent that you can give that to
yourself.
You can only give that out tothe extent you give to yourself.
So I just really like it tookcoming all the way back to
saying like I'm going to dothings because I just care about
myself, because I just lovemyself, cause I like, cause it's
cool to be, to just like likemyself.

(50:10):
I just like spent so long fixing, trying to fix myself.
But it's like you like, if it'sa, why am I viewing myself as
like a problem that needs to befixed?
Why can't it just be that I'mI'm living and I'm happy and I'm
enjoying life and I'm doingthings?
Because it's like, why wouldn'tI want to go to the gym?
Why wouldn't I want to eat thiswatermelon rather than the
skittles?
Why is it a problem for me toeat skittles if I haven't had

(50:31):
any artificial sugar for a year,like why can't I just accept
myself in this moment to dowhatever I think is best for
myself, mentally or physically,and that's like that's the place
that eventually I got to forthroughout all of the spaces
that I've been in, from vegan tocarnivore, to being big, to
being small, to all thosedifferent things.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So yeah, wow, man, you just have me thinking like
my mind is being blown right now, because I think we were only
as good as the questions that weasked you and you're asking
yourself all these justincredible questions.
You know, the book that youwrote is.
I hope you wake up.
You know, and I'm I feel likeI'm waking up.
You know, having a conversationwith you, but I have been

(51:12):
selfish and I have talked.
You know so much about, um, youknow what?
What I wanted to know about whoyou are, uh, django, what I
would love to you know.
What I wanted to know about whoyou are, jango, what I would
love to you know.
Take this last 10 minutes thatwe have together and just kind
of let you talk about your booksand your company and whatever
it is that we didn't talk about.
That you would love for us totalk about, because I want to

(51:32):
make sure that our audience andthe folks who listen to this get
a real version of vision ofwhat is possible.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Well, the I told you that the book I'm working on
right now is called they lied toyou and I don't want to give
too much of the structure of itout.
But like earlier I said thatlike when you get to corporate
America, when you're in school,people kind of tell you the
unwritten rules of how honestpeople are going to be, like
when I got into especially nowowning my own company.
It's not about what happened,it's about what you can prove.

(52:01):
It's like we live in this worldvery much of like we've all
accepted it conceptually.
You have to have like a papertrail.
You have to know and like havein writing what the truth is.
And I think it's because as aculture we've just kind of
accepted this idea of like lyingnot just to each other, but
like to ourselves, to wake upand rationalize why I'm not
where I want to be or anythingelse.

(52:22):
And so like I hope you wake up.
As a book was more about likewhat if reality isn't what you
thought it was?
And then this next book theylied to you is how did we get
here?
Like, potentially, what liesdid we just accept as true
across the board, from theteachers, the family, the

(52:43):
concepts, things that work forour ancestors.
That was only because at thetime they oh, wow, that's huge,
large enough.
So they cut the size of the hamoff and then we just kept doing
it, even though maybe we're notin that same place, maybe that
did, maybe that was all they hadat that time.
But now we're still sort ofdoing the same things, even

(53:04):
though we're maybe not in thatsame place.
So like that's what that secondbook is and eventually there'll
be a third book, but I haven'tI try not to say, but it'll
basically be what, maybe, wherewe can go forward with that.
So like in my mind, because I'veasked all these questions, the
reason I created my company,wrote by Me is that I realized
like there's all these conceptsthat people talk about, when you

(53:25):
hear them talk about richpeople and what they do and how
they did it and how they tookfrom people and how it.
It doesn't have to be that Itake from other people.
It could be that we do anindustry-leading standard where
readers are the winners and wewin because the I'm sorry

(53:46):
authors are the winners and wedon't need a whole bunch of
money at every step.
But it's not about likemaximizing the profit out of
every single step.
But I could still win.
As a company, I still could,you know, become a billionaire.
But like do it in a way thathelps people be able to achieve
their goals and dreams.
You know, and like I alsorecognize that maybe the oven is

(54:06):
finally large enough for me tobe able to do that right.
Maybe up to this point we'vealways had to cut the ham a
certain way because thetechnology wasn't there, or
intellectually we were.
I don't know what it was, but Isee a path that maybe I can do
that and that's why we're sofocused on, like helping the
authors and publishers cuttingthrough the noise.
We could have taken a higherpercentage, but I really wanted

(54:27):
to like make sure that wecreated as win-win of a scenario
as possible, and I'm trying todo the same thing in my book.
So my hope is, my dream is togive people because it may not
be me like right, my companycould fail, no one could like my
books.
But maybe from this conversationsomeone else goes, maybe life
could be different.
And that's like the steppingstone, that's how, like you know
, the Abbey gets built in 250years.

(54:48):
Maybe I don't get to see it,but conceptually, maybe we could
do like capitalism in adifferent light.
Rather than it being likeexploiting people.
It's about bringing everybodytogether for us to win together.
There's enough for everyone.
It's just like we just have tobelieve that already, which is
what I believe.
I believe there is enough foreveryone.

(55:09):
There's enough for people tonot be hungry.
There's enough.
We just have to figure out away to disseminate things in a
way which does require someoneto make a decision right, like
even when people talk about likesocialism and other concepts,
someone eventually is the personwho says this is where we're
spending the money, even if,unless you're like trying to
vote on it, but even then, afteryou vote on it, someone could
say the vote's not true orwhatever.
So I hope is that I can justshine that light to the world

(55:32):
that, like you know again whatif what we think has to be is an
illusion, maybe if we startasking how got here and why,
like, maybe we, maybe they didlie to us, and we can start to
figure out why we even got here,and then how can we move
forward is like that nextthought that I have.
So I'm more than happy toconnect with any authors if they
need help to get their book outthere to distribute it to.

(55:55):
You know, come up with plans.
We're always looking to helpauthors.
And then if you want to checkout the book, you can check it
out at my link.
It's wrotebyme forward slashDjango, which I'll share with
you and we'll put in.
It has everything.
So yeah, I'll send that over toyou.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Okay, any websites or anything that we need to go to.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
That's the main one.
So if you go to wrotebyme,forward slash Django.
That is my way to get my booksbut also to follow me on all my
social links, and then that's mycompany too.
So if you go to ropebyme,that's how you actually find.
So I always joke, I'm my owncustomer.
I pay full price for it becauseI want to show people I really
believe in it.
So that's the best way toconnect with me and find
everything there.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Absolutely Thank you.
What are some closing thoughtsthat you'd love to give
everybody who's listening to ustoday that is saying wait a
minute.
I know I, I know I'm more, Iknow you know that I'm not
enough is not where I want to be, I want to be.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
I know I'm more uh, I think I think sometimes I can
be.
I will just be honest.
I think I can be a frustratingperson to listen to because I
don't really leave you with,like the keys to the answer.
But but that is like by design.
I think, like we were raised inschool in certain places where
we looked to someone to give usthe right answer and then that
gave us the validation thatwe're on the right path.
And so, in turn, we've lookedfor that as we've gotten older

(57:10):
and I don't want to tell peoplelike I don't want to tell you
how to do things, I just want topotentially give you the
questions that you never hadthat could give, that could lead
you to the answer that you canbe happy with.
And so, yes, maybe you'requestioning yourself and you're
like, what's that next step?
I'm not going to tell youwhat's working out three times a
day or that it's, you know,quitting your job and doing

(57:30):
other things.
I'm just going to say, likemaybe we could ask like how we
got here or why we're okay withbeing here, or what could we be
if I was unafraid.
If you ask the question one ofmy favorite questions what kind
of life do you want to gift yourtime.
If you knew the exact amount oftime that you had left, what
would you do?
And that's just like that'swhat I try to leave people with.
It's not about me giving you ananswer.
It's just more about mepotentially giving you a

(57:53):
structure of words that couldhelp you in the next steps of
like well, actually, that couldhelp you in the next steps of
like well, actually, I'd like todo this.
I'd like to own a little icecream shop.
I'd like to go have a farm.
I'd like to stay in my nine tofive.
I actually love it here.
I just feel like there wasmaybe something I was missing.
You know, who knows I don't,but you definitely do, and that
answer is in you.
So I believe in you.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
100 somebody to tell us, tell me how to do this, tell
me how to get here, tell me.
And then we realize after we gothrough some of that process
that that's not what we want.
But if we learn how to ask theright questions right, if we
learn how to learn the way thatGod has put us on the search to

(58:34):
be able to do, then there'sabundance, there's infinite ways
that we can take that, and sowhat I got out of our
conversation today is I'm notfrustrated, I'm more excited
because I get to think about thequestions that I do need to ask
them the questions that I doneed to put, and so thank you
for being on the show today,django.
This has been amazing.
I can't wait to talk to yousome more and to you know, to

(58:56):
follow your life and the thingsthat you're doing For to follow
your life and the things thatyou're doing For those of you
that say, hey, this was a goodepisode.
If you find somebody that youknow could benefit from it, hey,
send it over to them, let themlisten to it.
Hit the notification button.
We're giving as many of thesethat we possibly can to folks,
and I just want you to rememberthat you, my friend, have got
this great gift.
We'd love it if you allow themto to, and we look forward to

(59:18):
seeing you on the next one.
You guys have an amazing day.
Thank you for being on.
I appreciate it.