Ashley, president-elect of the National Association of Real Estate Brokers (NAREB), takes us through his remarkable journey from early banking career to becoming a successful real estate entrepreneur while maintaining his faith, family values, and commitment to community.
Growing up in a single-mother household, Ashley learned the uncompromising value of showing up consistently—a principle that would become the foundation of his professional life. "It was either school or the hospital. Where are we going?" he recalls his mother saying, instilling a work ethic that prepared him for future success. After starting in banking and pivoting to mortgages following a bank robbery, he has now built a thriving real estate business operating across multiple states over the past 25 years.
What sets Ashley apart isn't just his professional accomplishments but his approach to success. "I think the most important thing in entrepreneurship is to really be humble, to ask the questions," he shares candidly. This refreshing perspective challenges the notion that leaders must always project certainty, instead advocating for continuous learning and mentorship at every stage of one's career. As a father of three, he also speaks powerfully about how parenthood transformed his outlook, describing it as "the greatest accomplishment I've ever had."
Ashley offers compelling insights on homeownership as a path to generational wealth, addressing personal trauma, embracing abundance over scarcity, and developing resilience through faith. His practical advice ranges from financial wisdom ("If you can't buy it 10 times, don't buy it") to overcoming mental barriers ("It's coldest at night right before the sun rises"). Whether you're struggling with feeling stuck, considering property investment, or seeking to balance ambition with personal fulfillment, this conversation provides both inspiration and practical strategies from someone who has walked the path.
Don't miss this powerful episode filled with authentic wisdom on navigating success while staying grounded in what truly matters. Subscribe, share, and join us on this journey to freedom.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We overthink ourselves and then we feel stuck
in a situation.
Take one thing at a time.
Focus on the next step,understanding the long goal.
The sacrifices today will payoff for tomorrow.
That will help a lot of us toreally move forward.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Okay, welcome to another edition of the Journey
to Freedom podcast.
And I'm Dr B, I'm your host,and there's days where I say I'm
(00:42):
excited because I guess I'malways excited about the guests
that I have but then there'sdays where I just go I can't
wait to do this podcast, I can'twait to do this show, and today
is one of those days.
That last year Ashley and Iwere able to get together and we
met each other over at theNARAB convention that was in New
Orleans and it was unbelievable.
(01:03):
I can't wait to go back thisyear.
I know it's going to be in LA.
You'll probably talk about thata little bit, but we just we
got to have some dialogue and wegot to talk and my podcast was
at the infancies at the time.
We talked, you know, over thesummer and you know I probably
had 50 to 60 episodes that are.
You know we're now over 170episodes that we have put
together of black men who aredoing a whole lot to make this
(01:28):
world a different place.
You know this, last January, atthe end of January, I was able
to take 18 of the men that wetalked to.
We took them to Alabama for acivil rights victory tour and
that was about transformationaland I felt like I walked back
into the 1970s and you know, wewere in Birmingham, went from
(01:48):
Birmingham and we went to Selmaand then we end up at Montgomery
at the Equal Justice Museum.
But to have some of these guysI had two of my son and my
son-in-law.
One lives in Rancho Cucamonga,one lives in Rialto.
They were able to fly out andgo there lives in Rancho
Cucamonga, one lives in Rialto.
They were able to fly out andgo there.
And even though I've talkedabout stuff over a lifetime,
it's different when you haveadult children that are now
(02:11):
experiencing.
You know the things that havewent on, the things that we, the
shoulders of you, know thegiants that we stand on as we
move forward and as we do things.
And Journey to Freedom camefrom me just going to a trust
leadership conference wherethere was a room where we were
learning about trust.
There was 500 people there andthere are about 30 folks that
(02:35):
are people of color that were inthe room and I'm like why is
our community not accessing thisinformation and why are we not
benefiting and flourishing as aresult?
And that came back and that'swhat began the Journey to
Freedom podcast and since thenit's been successful man after
successful man.
Who's this little man that havedone stuff?
We even started a show calledwhy Love Waits on Sunday nights
(02:58):
where we're talking about it.
I actually don't know if youknow the statistic, but there's
about 49.8% of Black women whoare over the age of 40 have
never been married, and there'san issue with our families and
there's an issue with you know,because it wasn't like that in
the 40s and 50s and the 60s butthere wasn't as much integration
and there was segregation andyou know the things our kids
(03:21):
were doing well in schools, andthen 75% of that 50% have at
least one child, and so we'rethinking about where are men at
in the you know, growing kids,and one of the themes that I
found from this podcast is thatmen do want to take care of
their kids.
Men do want the responsibilityMen do want to provide.
(03:42):
It just sometimes seems likethere's this bad rap that
sometimes we get, and so hencewhy you're on the show.
Ashley is the president-elect ofthe NARAB Association, which is
the National Association ofReal Estate Brokers, which is
the Black Realist, and I wantyou to learn a lot about it, and
we'll talk about some websitesto go to uh at the end, but he's
(04:04):
also a very successful uhbusinessman that lives in
southern california and has justdone some amazing things and,
like all of our guests, I'veasked him to tell his story
first, because it's one thing toknow what we do.
It's another thing to know whowe are and where we came from
and how we got, because theother theme actually that that
that folks have said is I neededto see somebody who looked like
(04:27):
me doing whatever, even closeto doing whatever, to know that
I could do that.
Now myself I would say, oh, Idon't need that, I don't need to
, I don't need to see people.
But then I go to these eventslike the trust edge and I find
myself counting there.
They want you and I find myselfgoing to talk to people, so I
pretend like I don't care, butit does matter, and then I get
(04:49):
to go to a place like NARAB andgo.
I don't need to count anybody,we're here, we're home, and so
thank you for being willing tobe on, thank you for having
these conversations that youhave offline with other folks,
and please go ahead and tellyour story, and then we'll just
kind of chop it up after that.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
No, dr B, first let me just thank you for inviting
me out and then calling mesuccessful.
I appreciate the complimentthere.
You know, obviously it's hardwork every day, and so I'm just
thankful to God to even be here,to be here today.
But I will say, you know, mystory starts and I won't go too
long because I could ramble onmy story for a while, but I just
(05:26):
kind of hit some highlights.
You know, I graduated highschool and entered the workforce
right away, you know, got intobanking.
I've been working since I was 14and a half years old or whatnot
, and then so when I graduated,I got into banking, and then I
did that for some years while Iwas going to college and the
bank ultimately was robbed oneday, and so they allowed us to
(05:51):
be retrained, and so I left theteller line and then went and
learned mortgages, and so I'vebeen doing mortgages now for
over 25 years, and then I alsoentered into real estate during
that time as well.
So I was in my early 20s doingthat, learning as well as just
(06:11):
really trying to soak up all theinformation that I could in
this particular industry.
I fell into it a little bit, asopposed to this being something
that I wanted to do, but I fellin love with it because we're
able to help so many people getinto homeownership, which
obviously creates generationalwealth.
So fast forward a little bit,2007 or so.
(06:31):
I ended up opening up a companyand expanding my company there.
I did some servicing for sometime where people were in
foreclosure, really trying tohelp them save their homes, and
I found that it was verychallenging to save people once
they were so far behind.
So I really wanted to deal withit more on the origination side
(06:52):
, really learn how to helppeople on the front side so that
way they didn't run into theseproblems on the backside, and so
I've been doing real estate andmortgages for that amount of
time.
As you stated, I am thepresident elect of the National
Association of Real EstateBrokers.
We are a organization that wasfounded in 1947 during a time
where blacks were not allowed topractice real estate openly in
(07:17):
a lot of areas.
We couldn't purchase propertiesin many areas, so it just
allowed.
So we've been fighting fordemocracy in housing ever since
then and I've joined theorganization in late areas.
So we've been fighting fordemocracy in housing ever since
then and I've joined theorganization in late 2009,.
Truly, as a volunteerorganization was able to service
and give a lot of my time andefforts to that, really was able
(07:37):
to learn from a lot of ICONmembers, which I denote a lot of
my success in business justbeing a part of a volunteer
organization such as NAGRAP.
And so now we are here today,we have our annual convention in
July, at which time I'll besworn in as the president of the
organization and there's somuch to discuss in terms of
(07:59):
housing, the currentadministration and all those
things.
But that's pretty much anoverview of my story.
I'm the broker owner of LA TopBroker right here in Los Angeles
.
We land in California, texas,louisiana, georgia and we do
real estate throughout the stateof California.
So I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
So cool when I talk about identity and thinking
about the person that we havebecome and you know, you don't
just end up, you know, show upout of high school or show up,
you know, and you are nowpresident elect of a national
organization.
What are some things that youhad to do to work on your
(08:39):
identity and who were you?
Like you say, out of highschool, I went straight to work.
You know where we sometimes wetalk about hey, you got to go to
get this degree, or you got togo to this trade school, or you
got to do this and this.
How did that transpire for youto become the person that you
are?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
today.
You know, I was raised in asingle mother household, and so
my mother was really disciplinedin terms of making sure we got
up and we went to work and wewent to school.
That's what we did.
It was no questions about it.
You know it wasn't a sneeze,and I get to stay home.
It was like you had to be.
(09:19):
It was either school or thehospital.
Where are we going?
So I think that that really itparted into my work ethics.
You know, no matter what yougot to show up, and I think
that's a big part of it.
So my identity has always beento show up, even if you don't
know, you're not comfortable,whatever it is, most of the job
is really showing up and beingpresent, and so those are the
(09:41):
things that I really try toinstill into my children now is
that you know we show up.
We've got to get up in themorning and be present, and so
I'm seeing that manifest in themand I'm excited about that.
But that's pretty much.
I would say that that'ssomething that my mother
instilled in me at a very, veryyoung age that no matter what,
(10:02):
you have to show up.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
It sounds like you had an incredibly amazing mom
that you should have Were there,other mentors or people around.
Did you grow up in LA or didyou grow up in another part of
the country?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Actually, you said your son is in Rialto.
I actually grew up in Rialto,pomona, rialto, bouncing back
and forth.
My grandmother was veryinstrumental in my life, but in
terms of like the molding andthe mentoring and that as a
young man, I would say my churchcommunity, because that was
another thing.
Sunday morning we were going tochurch, no matter what, and
(10:38):
then also I played sports.
So getting that competitiveedge, that energy and all of
that out of there, I was abasketball player throughout
high school.
I still think I can get outthere, but I think my mind is
more than my body at this stagein my life.
But I still will take on achallenge anywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So but yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that those my coaches and everything like
really were a mentor and I keepin contact with everyone still
to this day.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Did you go to high school out in Rialto?
I did.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I actually went to Bloomington High School, which
is like on south of Rialto area.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I taught at Cal State , san Bernardino, for several
years and so I know the areareally well, and then UC
Riverside and ended up at aPacific University as a
professor there.
So I know, know the area wellwhen I think about you know the,
the identity and and and whatwe move in and moving up.
You kind of talked about youknow your coaches and the things
(11:43):
.
Was there anything like as adream or things that you wanted
to be?
You know you probably didn'tdream I'm going to go be the
president of elective.
You know NARAP someday when youwere in high school, but what
were some of you know the dreamsthat you had that you were able
to kind of say, ok, these arethings that I think I can
achieve.
(12:03):
I want to achieve.
What did that look like?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I think for me, the dream was just security.
My mother she bought a homeearly in my life and so I had a
lot of friends that moved aroundall the time and so we were
just there.
And so my mom's home was it'spretty funny because everyone's
called it like central stationEverybody just knew that's where
(12:27):
we were going to be at.
If my phone number changed ormy pager number changed back
then not trying to date myselfthey knew that they could go to
my mom's house and say, hey,where's Ashley?
You know, and so I took thatfrom her in terms of
understanding what stability is.
So, in terms of like dreams, mydream was always to be
financially secure, not have tobe stressful about those types
(12:50):
of things.
Now, in terms of career, Inever thought I would get into
real estate, that's just.
It was a dream that you know,took off on its own and I'm so
blessed to be a part of it, butI would say that I attended.
I wanted to attend college andbecome an attorney.
Right, I had a son at an earlyage and my you know I had my
(13:14):
focus had to change to him onthat, and so I'm blessed to be
able to fall into something thatI love and it wasn't a negative
and you know, and he's doing aphenomenal job and I'm so proud
of that.
But you know, things happen inlife and you have to bounce back
and you have to know how topivot, and so I had to make that
pivot into real estate and it'sbeen very blessing a blessing
(13:34):
for my family.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
What do you think you know?
I think about wires and I thinkof all of the folks who say you
know, I want to have my ownbusiness or I want to be secure.
I want to be that.
And so many people talk aboutit but so few people actually do
it.
And there was a point in yourlife where you said I'm working
for the bank.
They've taught me all theseskills, but I don't want to
(13:59):
spend the rest of my lifeworking for the bank.
I want to do this on my own.
What kind of walk us through?
What led you to be able to sayI'm going to do this and then be
willing to just take that riskto make that?
But I think there's so manypeople who go.
I think I want to do it, butI'm scared.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, I think, being in banking at such an early age,
assisting customers as theywalked in, seeing the different
flow in terms of financialwherewithal on individuals, I
was drawn to entrepreneurship asa result of that, and so I had
a thirst for it.
And I think the most importantthing in entrepreneurship or
(14:40):
learning or starting a businessor whatnot is to really be
humble, is really to ask thequestions, and I think sometimes
we engage ourselves intomeetings or into situations and
act as though we know and wedon't, and so you know, my
advice is to be humble and askthe questions.
I asked a million questions toa lot of people and I said, well
(15:02):
, how do I set this up?
Is that the best way?
Then I would go ask someoneelse Is this what I'm advised on
, how we should set this up?
And I think it really comesdown to really asking the
questions that you don't knowand being humble about it and
removing ego.
Ego is the biggest deterrent ofsuccess that I have ever seen
(15:22):
there, so to this day, I haveever seen there.
So to this day, I have mentors.
I've been in the business 25years, but it doesn't mean that
I can't learn from somebodywho's been in the business 10
years, and so to be able to beforever teachable is very
important, and so that's onething that I would say that I
pretty much have.
The reason why I got intoentrepreneurship and try to
(15:44):
maintain my level of success andengagement is really to be
humble and remove ego and thento give back.
I love I teach classes everyweek to people, whether they're
in my company or not in mycompany, that everybody's
welcome to join my class and getinvolved in that, and I think
that gives me a sense of beingable to pour back into the
(16:04):
community, and so I love it, andso I'll continue to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Thank you for sharing that.
We've mentioned mentors a fewtimes.
A few times so far, you talkedabout the mentors that helped
shape your identity, but what Ithink that's super important
that people realize is there'smentors that continue you
(16:29):
forward in order to move up, andit's probably not just one
mentor in your life that doeseverything.
It's like you have to seek outand look for people Right.
I mean, they didn't just showup and knock on your door and
say, ashley, I would love tomentor you today.
How?
do I, how do I do?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
that, absolutely.
It's a lot of mentors.
You have different ones.
You have a mentor who's goingto teach you how to scale your
business from A to Z, but thenyou also have a mentor who's
going to teach you how to be abetter parent, and then you have
a mentor who's going to teachyou how to maintain your
emotions.
In these types of situations,you can draw different things
(17:03):
from different people, and Ithink, when we met at the NARAB
convention and we were in themen's session, you know, just
sitting there, even if you'renot speaking, you're listening.
You're drawing something fromeveryone, right?
And so, in terms of a capacity,when we use the word mentor,
sometimes we tie it to wherewe're going to meet every Friday
, we're going to have coffee,we're going to do this, this.
(17:25):
No, I think, even just in theengagement of a conversation,
you can draw something fromsomeone and really apply it into
your life, and so, or you candraw something from someone and
decide I do not want to applythat, right, because mentorship
comes multiple ways, right?
Sometimes you will say you knowwhat, I don't want to do that,
and so you learn from that andyou apply it to your life
accordingly.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, I have mentors that even like online or YouTube
videos that I watch, that theymay never know that they're my
mentor, but you know I willconsume 100 hours or 50 hours of
content just so that I can.
I can become a different personor I can become better.
One of the things that I wouldlove to talk about is family,
(18:09):
and so or even you know, even wecan break it down to the Black
family if we want, and I knowthat you're a dad, and one of
the things that has also been atheme is talking to dad, because
I think we realize that kidsneed a mom and a dad they
absolutely 100% for them tothrive and grow, and they don't
always get that and sometimes itand a dad they absolutely 100%
for them to thrive and grow, andthey don't always get that, and
sometimes it's the communitythat takes over as one of the
(18:29):
roles of the parent, butsometimes we neglect to talk
about what does it mean to be adad and how has that changed our
lives and how we look at anysituation we have, because we
are a dad and we care about whatour kids are going to get from
it and we're trying to protectthem and we want to be the
example, and I think sometimesit changes how we go through
(18:53):
life.
I mean, we're this one personwhen we're graduating high
school and we're getting outinto the world and then we
become a father or a dad.
It kind of changes that.
What does it mean to you to bea dad?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I mean, it's everything.
It's the greatestaccomplishment I've ever had,
being able to see pour into mychildren.
But then there's a lot that ourchildren give us that sometimes
we don't think about.
They give you the strength toget up.
You know you got to be strongand they help you, you through
(19:29):
whatever and don't even knowwhat's going on or whatnot.
And so you know I have threebeautiful children Amari is 24,
taylor is 19, and Journey isnine.
And so you know they're great.
It's just a great feeling forme.
You know, probably the fewthings that can probably take a
(19:50):
grown man to tears is talkingabout.
You know their children, and soyou know I love them to death.
There's nothing I wouldn't do,and I just think that that's a
different type of you know, forthose that are not involved in
their children's life, I wouldjust say that you're missing out
, but it's never too late.
My father passed away severalyears ago and we had a strange
(20:13):
relationship when I became ateenager or whatnot, because he
wasn't present.
But then later upon his death,years prior to that, we made
amends and we I mean that wasmy- best friend, and so, you
know, it became, became, it camefull circle, and so I would
just encourage those that arewatching that might have uh,
(20:34):
challenges with your children orwhatnot have fallen out.
It's never too late to correctit.
I know my father and I did, and, like I said earlier when I was
saying sometimes you could takethings from people like a
mentor, you could take a piecefrom somebody and say I, I don't
want to do that, you know, andso I've applied that with my
father, you know, and those gapsto my children.
(20:54):
I don't want to do that, youknow.
I want to do things differently, and so I've been able to do
things differently.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And so when you think about family and how important
family is, I know faith is apart of you, know your makeup
and who you are, but you know,as you approach family and you
had the you know estranged dadfor a little bit and you know an
incredible mom.
You know mom that raised you.
How does those experience helpyou in thinking about your
(21:23):
responsibility?
You know in your family andwhat you have to do.
I mean sometimes we get so intoour work or the things we do
that we have to, I guess, try tobalance family, but for some of
us no family comes first.
No matter what, there's nobalancing, but you're still
running a corporation at thesame time, right?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, so I've struggled at periods in my life
with work-life balance.
I think that's something thatevery entrepreneur probably can
acknowledge, that they'vestruggled with, because you're
committed to wanting to giveyour family a different life
than maybe that you had, and soyou're head down working and you
(22:06):
might look up and you'remissing something or you're not
fully engaged, and so I think,especially today, we live in a
world of technology, soeverybody has a cell phone,
they're at the dinner table,everybody's on their own phone,
and I think you know, trying tobe intentional is very important
about the time that we have,because we all understand
(22:27):
tomorrow's not promised.
You know we've.
You know I'm 45, be 46 shortly,and I think you know, looking
back, I've had friends that areno longer with us, and so you
have to think about I wonderwhat they would wish they could
have back, and I think it wouldbe family, it'd be the
interaction with their childrenand whatnot.
(22:48):
I take that very serious.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
You talked about your kids a little bit.
You have one that's 24 andanother one that's nine.
You have to show up as adifferent dad between those two
relationships, right?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I think the 24-year-old, because I was much
younger.
I said, you know, runningaround at the park was a little
different than me running aroundat the park with a
nine-year-old today, you know.
And so we do a little bit moreplay dates so they have friends
that will run, because I'm notso much the runner anymore.
But, yeah, you know, it'sdifferent, you know.
(23:27):
But then also too, it'sdifferent financially, right?
So today raising children isdifferent than 20 years ago.
It wasn't for me when I wastrying to get up off the ground,
and I think that that's thingsthat we have to, you know, talk
a little bit more about and behonest about, you know.
And so I talked to my childrenabout that.
They understand, you know,different situations.
My son might say well, when Iwas growing up I didn't get to
(23:47):
do that, you know.
And so, hey, we have aconversation.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
So yeah, I think it's so good because sometimes I
think we don't want to show ourkids or talk about the times
when we struggled.
But failure and struggle ispart of success and you know,
even though they weren't timesthat we say, oh, you know I did
great, or you know I mademistakes, or whatever it is, I
(24:11):
think it's so important that wehave those conversations and we
get to talk about it and I mean,have you been able to?
It sounds like you've been ableto.
You know, hey, this is 2007 andeight weren't the greatest
years of our lives.
And these are the things thathappened, happen, you know, and
then so forth as you moveforward oh no, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I think having the conversations is is a class,
it's a training, right?
So I'm teaching my childrenlike, hey, these are the
mistakes that I made.
I don't want you to make themistakes, you know.
You know, I think sometimes andthat goes back to we were
talking about ego sometimespeople want to walk around that
they're perfect and they do thisand they do that, and that's
not always the case, right andso and I think you can mask it
(24:54):
for only so long.
So you have to be, you know,live your life with transparency
, and I think especially withchildren.
They know, you know, and so it'sgood to have the conversation
and I talk to all of my childrenabout.
You know, life financesstruggles.
Here's an example.
Dad went through this.
This is what I don't want youto do, you know.
(25:17):
This is why I'm saying don't goleft, go right, and we have
these conversations Verytransparent.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It's so cool.
My children are grown, so Ihave eight of them and my
youngest is 29 now.
It's so cool.
My children are grown, so Ihave eight of them and my
youngest is 29 now.
I just turned 60 two weeks ago,and so it's fun because, you
know, now I'm talking to my kidsand they're telling me Dad, I
remember you doing this, and I'mlike, oh no, I don't remember
(25:45):
that.
Don't tell my grandkids that,don't tell me that this is what
happened.
One of the things I love to kindof ask you, because I think
that a lot of us feel likesometimes we're stuck, like we
don't know how to move forward.
We don't know how to move inYou're, you know, as you're
getting ready to become thepresident of a predominantly
Black organization, what aresome of the things that you
might give as advice to folksthat are thinking I want to do
(26:06):
something, I want to moveforward.
I feel like I haven't had theopportunities that other people
have had.
I don't really know how to getgoing or started.
What were some of the thingsthat maybe either you did, or
some of the things you do inyour classes now, that help
folks that are just, they get upevery morning and they're not
excited about it.
I love my life.
(26:27):
I can't wait to get up everyday, but I know there's so many
people that are not there.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, and I think for me it's a little different.
I'm 5'5", so I playedbasketball and I loved it.
I love the terminology poundfor pound, right, because pound
for pound, I want to say that Iwas probably one of the great
ones, but I was 5'5", so youhave to get up and you have to
show up every day, every day.
So I think when we talk aboutbeing stuck, it's really about
(26:57):
committing to what it is thatyou say you're going to do and
doing it.
I always take the example of ifyou're at home and you're like,
hey, I'm going to do this today,I have all these chores I'm
going to do, and then youoverwhelm yourself so you end up
not doing any of them or you dothem halfway.
So I think it's like take onething at a time, focus on the
(27:17):
next step, understanding thelong goal.
The sacrifices today will payoff for tomorrow, and I think
that that will help a lot of usto really move forward, when I
learned how to put one foot infront of the other and really
just say, okay, yes, I want toscale my company to a certain
level.
But then I had to say, well,okay, well, what level am I at
(27:39):
now?
What's the next level, asopposed to thinking 10 levels
down the way.
I think sometimes we overthinkourselves and then we feel stuck
in a situation.
So you know, if you did, if youdid, I tell my loan officers if
you did one loan last month,you know this month you're
trying to do two, right.
But if, sometimes, if you justsit up here and say I'm going to
do 10.
Right, you're always going tofeel like you haven't reached
(28:01):
that goal.
So baby steps are veryimportant into the long journey.
You know, and I think sometimesthat's misunderstood.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, it is the journey, right that you don't
just wake up.
And I think, especially in ourfast paced society, maybe you
can kind of talk about.
You brought up technology alittle bit, but these are these
devices, and now we have AI andwe have all these things and I
think the expectation is well, Ican do everything instantly and
it's not going to take me.
(28:47):
Maybe you can talk a little bitabout becoming the person that
can do the thing, instead ofjust trying to do everything and
have everything and not thatpersonal development piece that
we all have to go through inorder to be that person who can
do it.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, I mean with technology.
I'll just tell you that Ithought I was a technology
person, but it's moving so fastthat you look up and you're
feeling like you're left behindand I think that kind of really
drives us in terms of not beingable to fully understand or
fully commit to getting up andworking.
(29:13):
I saw an interview with MichaelJordan and he was talking about
contracts, he was talking aboutendorsements, and I thought it
was a great interview because hewas saying that today there's
players that are getting paidbefore they even played their
first game.
Back in the day, you had toprove yourself before you got
(29:34):
paid, and it's just a differenttime in which we live in.
And I see that a lot of times invarious industries, not just
athletics, but in business aswell.
You know people are coming inand saying that, hey, I'm
qualified because I'mself-qualified, and so I should
get compensated this amount or Ishould get treated a certain
(29:54):
way, and they haven't put in thework.
And I still think that oldschool putting in the work,
elbow grease, learning, gettingdown, getting your hands a
little dirty is the way to go,and it's going to teach you a
lot in the long run to actuallyapply yourself.
Know, people out in salesaren't doing any business, but
they got five assistants.
(30:16):
I I can't understand it right.
I still don't understand it,you know.
And so, and I'm sitting overhere and I'm, you know, I'm
getting up early in the morning,I'm staying late in the evening
, I'm doing the sacrifice thatare needed, and so I think that
we have to get back into thework ethics that many of our
parents, grandparents and so onhad years ago.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Think about relationships,because you are in a
relationship-oriented business,you can't do without
relationships, and some peoplewant to forgo that.
For whether it's the technologyor I'll just email you and you
know you expect a response, oryou're not picking up the phone.
What would you say about theimportance of relationship for
(31:02):
long-term success?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
No.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
So for me relationships are everything.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I think making that, that connection with somebody,
um, personally, uh, will takethings a long way.
You know, um, we could look atthings different.
We could have did thisinterview over the phone, but
the connection with the videoconnects us a little closer.
Right now.
I see your face, your face, yousee my face, and I think that
(31:27):
that's what most humans want,not just in business, just in
personal things right In family.
Your sibling or whatnot livesless than an hour away, but you
haven't seen them in eightmonths.
You know like those connections, you can talk to them all you
want, but I think it reallymeans so much more for you to
pull up on them and spend acouple hours with them or
(31:50):
whatnot, and then go back home.
I think that we look at thingsas sacrifice, and I think time
is so important, whichtechnology saves us a lot of
time.
But what are we doing with thetime that we're saving?
Are we investing that back intoour families or are we still
chasing a moving target?
And so it's very important tome.
I love to entertain, have myfriends over, my family over and
(32:13):
whatnot, and that's because Ienjoy the interaction of humans.
So you know, hopefully thatdoesn't go away with all of this
new technology, but no matterwhat, I'm gonna always be that
person and I think it's helpedme so far in business as well as
personally so much.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I agree so much.
I mean, the relationships areeverything, and when we look at
our phones and we have 3,000folks that are on our phone and
our acquaintance, it's therelationships of the people that
are closest to it that seem tomake all the difference in the
world.
I want to pivot a little bit tojust business.
(32:55):
You've talked about words likescaling and you've said things
like to move up in my company orI have employees or five
assistants, and there's folksthat are saying, ok, I want to
do this and I want to do itright.
Where do you go to learn aboutbusiness?
(33:15):
And you know, I can say, like Ihad a guest on a couple you
know last week.
It was hey, I learned how to bea businessman because I was a
drug dealer.
I'm not suggesting that toanybody who's watching or
listening, and that's why we'retalking to Ashley this week, but
what is it that you think isthe best way to learn?
And then, what are some of thepitfalls that people are
(33:36):
definitely going to encounterthat they shouldn't stop,
because it's the guy whoperseveres and does it 25 years
that gets to see all the fruitsof it, not the guy who does it
for three months and quitsbecause he didn't think it was
going to be this hard.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Yeah, I mean for business, I would say in terms
of where I went to get mybusiness.
I think in a lot of businesses,especially in the Black
community, we're good at what wedo.
We're great at what we do right.
So if we cook pies, we're thebest pie maker.
But that doesn't translate toactually understanding how to
run a pie business right.
And so for me, you know, I wasgreat at sales, making
(34:17):
connection with people,understanding what their needs
were and having thatconversation.
But then to actually say nowI'm running a business where I
have employees and have all ofthat.
So my first mentor, who hasbeen my tax accountant for many
years, is probably the greatestmentor I've had in business,
because he sees everyone'sbusiness.
So he told me I said this ishow you set it up, this is what
(34:40):
you need to do, this you know.
So I was able to stay away fromsome pitfalls not all of them,
but some of them and then reallygo that direction.
Now, on the other side of thescaling, I looked at people that
were doing business to where Iwanted to go and I wouldn't ask
them.
I had questions, not everyone.
Some people looked at me as acompetitor.
I'm not going to show you whatI do, but others were like, hey,
(35:02):
I'll show you everythingbecause there's enough pie for
all of us to go around, and sofinding those individuals are
very important Then becomingthat individual.
So I feel the same way.
I have people that have workedin my company, have gone on to
open up other companies and Ilove it and I congratulate them
(35:22):
and I'm there on opening nightand I'm supporting them and
everything like that, and Ithink we need to do a better job
of that piece in terms ofsupporting one another, as
opposed to looking at each otheras competition.
Right, I do, you know.
Let's just say there's 500,000transactions in the state of
California, but I can handle allof those.
Why wouldn't I want to see myfriend or my family member doing
(35:45):
that as well with me?
So you know, I think thatthat's very important.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Oh my gosh.
I love it because when youthink about lack and abundance
and there's so much of our likein this day and age, with our
country and where it's at, wherethere's just this lack of
mentality that says, if you have, it must take from me, and if I
have and I give it to you, Ican't have it, how have you been
(36:10):
able to live your life withthat abundance mindset that says
there's enough for everybody?
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Because there truly is I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
God is a God of abundance and resources.
And why would you think thatjust because I'm in the same,
you know in the same areas thatthere's not enough for both of
us to be able to thrive.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, I think you know, and probably when we're
done I'm going to pick up thephone and call my mother,
because she's coming up so muchin this conversation that I
didn't even think about.
But you know, my mom, you know,single mother worked very hard,
those types of things.
We had family members thatmaybe didn't have certain things
(36:52):
and my mom would.
I'd come downstairs and she wasgiving away the TV, you know,
cause we didn't need multipleTVs.
We were fine, they don't haveone.
So here we go, you know, andI'm thinking like, but what are
we doing?
Like that's my TV, you know.
And so learning.
That has really been a blessingfor me.
I don't even think about givingsomebody any type of assistance
(37:18):
.
I'm sorry, I thought I hadturned it off, so I don't even
question helping anybody oranything like that, and I think
that that's really helped me inthe long run because there's
always going to be a day whereyou're going to be the one who's
needing help, you know, and sodon't get too full of yourself
in business, because and whichwe learned in 2009, 2010,.
(37:39):
In the housing marketspecifically, it didn't matter
how great and how manyconnections you had If you
weren't, you know, when theforeclosure started happening, a
lot of people weren't doingbusiness anymore.
People were moving.
They were on a different sideof this, you know, and so I
think that that was somethingthat really was a humbling
experience for the industry.
But then let's fast forward.
(38:00):
We go 10 years later.
Many people forgot about that.
They forgot what that felt like, and so I would just encourage
people don't forget about thestruggles and the trials that
you went through.
No matter where you're at today, you can be back there tomorrow
, and so it's always aboutconstantly working, focusing on
what it is that you want to doand being humble to the fact
(38:21):
that you can be up today anddown tomorrow, and we've seen
that story play over millions oftimes, so don't think that
you're exempt from thathappening to you, and so I live
my life that way right.
I live my life understanding.
Yeah, I'm a business ownertoday, but next week I can say I
used to be a business owner,right, but for the grace of God,
understanding and remaininghumble, those are very important
(38:45):
to do, and so, and you alsowant to make those connections
that we talked about before,because if people don't want to
be around you, they don't wantto do business with you.
And so, from a businessperspective that has helped me
tremendously.
It's something that I'vesacrificed hours in the office
to get out there and reinforcethose connections and
interactions with people.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Since, thinking through 2007 and 2008 and all
the relationships that I canstill call on those folks, even
though everything happened.
I had a mortgage business inRancho Cucamonga and it was just
.
It was gone.
You say business owner today,not business owner next week.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, you're counting on some of those deals to close
.
You had already spent thosechecks right and it was canceled
, you know, and so that'ssomething that really hit a lot
of families.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Oh, it did in a big way.
Which brings me one is youcan't out give God and he's a
God of abundance.
And maybe you can talk a littlebit about your faith and how
your faith has played a part inyour success and and the
failures that you have, and andhow you've depended on him to
through all this process.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
This is my favorite question so far and I love the
question just because I am a manof faith, you know, in terms of
God and my relationship and thethings he's, but not just
because of the things he'sbrought me through, Right, you
know?
Just just, I believe that it'sa blessing to wake up every
(40:24):
morning.
Blessing to wake up everymorning and one of the things
that I've been saying lately in2025, I said in 2025, I'm going
to live my life to the fullestevery single day, and the reason
, one of the reasons why isbecause I don't want God to look
at the list and say, well,who's not enjoying their time?
I want to be so far down thatlist where he's like you know
(40:44):
what, as he's enjoying his time,you know we're going to
continue to protect him withgrace and everything like that.
You know, and so I live.
I feel like not living your life, living your life in
unhappiness and anger and all ofthe negative attributes.
I feel like it's almostoffensive to God's blessing to
(41:04):
wake you up in the morning, andso that's how I live my life.
That's how I encourage thosearound me to live their life.
If people come in and they'renot feeling well, and they come
to the office and they have adowntime or an attitude.
I feel like it's my job tobring them out of that.
And I have people around me thatdo the same for me as well, and
(41:26):
I have people around me that dothe same for me as well.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
So I got yes and yeah , as I was doing my walk this
morning I was, I was just sothankful for what I haven't had
to endure and all the thingsthat I've been blessed with the
fact that I could get up andwalk this morning and talk this
morning, you know, be able tohave this conversation.
That that we get to have todayis such a blessing, absolutely.
(41:49):
Where would I be without that?
When?
I think about you know a lot of.
You know, especially men, menof color, that have not been as
blessed or have had to gothrough some things, had to go
through some things and you knowI listened to a guy named Myron
(42:11):
Golden who talks about that'snot the reason, for you know the
, I guess, determining factorand the you know the factors
that the reasons why we don'tsucceed, and but there has been
trauma and there has been somethings and and I know you know
people in some trauma that we'veall had ourselves.
What would be your advice ofdealing with trauma and how to
(42:32):
move forward and not and not gobackwards as a result of it?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, and I say you know, being a black man in
America, you know there'ssystemic barriers, there's past
trauma that has come throughgenerationally.
And so I understand first,because what I don't want to
ever do is answer the questionfrom a perspective of
(42:58):
superiority or that I've learnedor I've mastered the questions,
because we all go through it.
We all are going to feel stuckor in a rut at some point in our
lives, at some point in ouryear, some point in our month,
right?
And so for me, I think you haveto develop a system to how you
(43:21):
get out of that rut, and itworks different for all of us,
because we're all unique, we'reall different.
For me, laying in a bed is nothelp, does not help me get out
of my rut, right, and so I haveto get up, I have to get moving,
I got to get around, you know,and so I.
That's how I pretty much dothings, but I do want to
(43:43):
acknowledge the fact that youknow it's it's it's it's a
challenge, it's, it's hard.
Out here there's opportunities,um, that are presented to
people that you feel that don'tdeserve it as much as you and
you've put in all this time andyou didn't get that promotion,
or you didn't get thatopportunity or you didn't win
over that client, and it hurts,and I think that that's, um, the
(44:05):
thing that I would uh encouragepeople to, uh especially black
men, is to acknowledge what itis, and sometimes we don't want
wanna use words like that hurt,and I think some things hurt and
it's okay to say that reallyhurt me because I thought I was
prepared.
But you know what, if it comesup, the opportunity presents
(44:27):
itself again.
I'm gonna be prepared.
So I'm gonna study why I didn'tget it and I'm gonna work
towards that, and I think thatthat's the thing.
I think we get stuck a lot oftimes because we're hurt and
then our hurt is manifestedthrough anger.
Our hurt is manifested in manyother ways, or throwing in the
towel, or pivoting before we seeit.
(44:48):
You know, one of my favoritequotes that I love hearing is
people say you know, it'scoldest at night, right before
the sun rises.
So that's, the coldest point atnight is right before the sun
is going to break through.
And so, understanding that thisis a long journey, don't give
up.
Accept the fact of where we are, as you stated, which I love.
(45:09):
You know, be blessed for theproblems you don't have.
Right, it can be worse.
Okay, as long as you'respeaking and thinking, it
definitely can be worse.
So you know, I think that youknow being stuck, and I see it
all the time.
I see it all the time and I'mfamiliar with it because I lived
it too.
So I think it's just importantwhere I'm at at this stage in my
(45:31):
life is you got to keep moving.
You got to keep moving.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Oh, thank you.
We are who, the words that wespeak and the words that we say
to ourself and the words that wesay to others.
And words matter.
And I want to move thisconversation, when we're talking
about words, into money,because money is one of those
things that we speak sometimesso poorly about our beliefs and
our values and our relationshipwith money that I think
sometimes it doesn't manifestitself in our lives.
You know, whether it's homeownership or whether it's
(46:02):
investing, or whether it's justnot understanding how money
works.
What are some of the things?
As a businessman, as somebodywho's been successful, who's
climbed the ladder, what aresome of the things that you do
around money, that you sayaround money, that is part of
your money relationship beliefsystem.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
So, for me, I'm very conservative with money.
Many people around you willtell you that that's not true,
but I believe that I'm veryconservative with money.
I'm not a flashy big spender orwhatnot, but I think it's
really with finances is really amatter of.
(46:42):
I.
I worked um at a retail store.
Uh, late in high school I wastrying to juggle a couple of
jobs actually, and I met ajanitor at the retail store and
he and he told me, he says,listen, I own multiple homes.
You know, I just do thisbecause this is what I enjoy
(47:04):
seeing people.
He's like I don't have to dothis, right.
But everybody that walked bythis individual probably said oh
, he's just a janitor, you know.
And so he taught me a veryprinciple about money at that
point.
We can complain about incomeinequality, we can complain
about all those things whichthey exist, they exist and they
(47:25):
should exist, but we also have aresponsibility when we do
receive our money, what wechoose to do with it, and I
think that that's very importantto really understand.
And so for me.
I was blessed to have met thatindividual.
I was blessed to have been inthe banking world.
So I learned about money at avery early age and then, growing
up, I learned lack of money andwhat that looked like, and so
(47:49):
my work commitment was I don'twant to be at the lack anymore.
So if I got to work 12 hours,that's what I had to do.
So you know, I think if youdon't understand money, go ask.
You know, go ask a tax person.
What should I be doing?
Is this a good investment?
You know, and I think we don'task enough questions because,
especially as men, we'reexpected to know.
We're expected, and only God isour mission right?
(48:12):
I don't know it all, but youknow he did give me the
foresight to be able to go ask aquestion and say, hey, how do
you do this?
I want to learn and I thinkwith money, we need to do a
better job as a community withthat as well.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
Yeah, when you think about the people that you ask, I
mean that's, that's importanttoo, and some of us want to go
ask the person that is the mostflashy and have what we think
you want is driving that Benzand driving the Land Rover and
living in the house and stuff ishow do we find that right
person, not only for us, butsometimes those folks that are
(48:49):
are doing good I mean, they looklike they're doing good with
money.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
They got that car locked up in that garage because
that Porsche is about to getrepoed.
So it doesn't necessarily meanthat that's what they're doing.
And I think us getting out ofthe materialistic of society and
really looking at what are weinvesting in, what am I doing
with my money that's going togive me a return in having those
conversations and I thinkmentorship to young men is so
(49:18):
vitally important.
I did it going in church.
We had the rites of passage atmy church for young men.
We had to take these classes.
You open the door for the younglady.
This is how you speak, this iswhat you do.
We had all of that and that wasa blessing because even to this
day I learned how to tie a tiein that class.
(49:39):
So I would say to the singlemothers that are out there, or
to the young men that are outthere seek those types.
They're in every city acrossAmerica.
Somebody wants to give back andI say, take that extra time to
do that, Because even to thisday I wake up in the morning,
(50:03):
I'm tying my tie.
You know, go to a meeting, Istill tie my tie as Elder.
Banks taught me how to tie mytie Right, and so that was, you
know, 35 years ago.
But I think about Elder Banksevery time I time my time, you
know, so that was important forme.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Talk to me a little bit about.
I love, love that, becausethere are places that we can go
and there are really goodmentors that are out there that
can help you understand.
But don't try to do it on yourown, folks.
Don't try to do it on your ownbecause you don't know what you
don't know and you can't justpull that out of the air.
So when I think ofhomeownership and you know,
(50:42):
right now there's this trendthat seems to be going out there
that says you don't need a home, you're better off renting,
you're better off, you know,being able to, you know, so that
gives you mobility, to be ableto move around.
It gives you, you know, densitywhere you can, you know, get to
work really quick and all thesethings Maybe as part of a more
(51:03):
money formula.
Maybe you can kind of speak toas being a banker and a real
estate person and a mortgageperson, the power of
homeownership.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Yeah.
So I've had to also evolve mythinking about homeownership too
, because we are in a differentworld and society today than
maybe we were 20 years ago, andso when I first got into the
business 25 years ago, I wouldalways say you gotta own a home
to live in, you gotta own, yougotta own.
And I still believehomeownership is paramount to
(51:33):
generational wealth and whatyou're going to pass down to
your children.
But I would say that even if youwant to have the mobility and
you want to move around and youwant to not plant your feet into
homeownership, then you shouldplant your feet into owning
property that you can lease andrent out and let that pay for
(51:53):
your luxury apartment, if that'swhat you want to do.
But you should have some typeof income flow.
So when you're asleep at nightand that house down the street
sold and now you got some moreequity because it gave you some
equity, because it was valued sohigh, that's like a second job.
And the way society has beenmoving lately in terms of the
(52:18):
cost of milk, the cost of eggsthe cost of gas is always a
situation.
Electricity and utility billsare always moving and
ever-changing.
So I think ownership allows youto build wealth while not
having to do anything about it,and I'll go back to one
particular property that I hadin Los Angeles that I was
(52:40):
selling for a client, and sothey had the property.
It was probably worth, let'sjust say, $300,000.
They sat on the property, leftit vacant for four years and
then sold the property and itwas probably worth over $500,000
at that time.
So they gained almost $200,000.
And this was probably 2012 to16, that range of timeframe but
(53:02):
they gained $200,000 doingnothing, and so they didn't rent
it.
They didn't do anything, and soobviously we have a housing
problem.
We don't need vacant properties.
We need people to rent thesehomes.
But at the same time, you seewhere I'm going in terms of
ownership.
They couldn't have got thatfrom any other part of the
business or any other job thatjust allows you to make money
(53:23):
while you sleep and don't doanything.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
And so I think it's very important for that.
Yeah, oh, and thank you forsharing that, because that does
give a perspective of you know,because I've seen folks where
they get together like maybethey were college roommates or
something, and they put fullmoney together and they go buy
an investment property eventhough they might be living in
an apartment, but they'reinvesting instead of.
You know some people I just wantto save.
(53:46):
Well, savings is a depreciatingasset, right?
Because your money is going tobe worth less next year than it
is this year if it's not beinginvested somehow.
So I love that perspectivewhere you're just saying, hey,
no, it's not, you don't have togo live in the white picket
fence house that you own, thatyou live in and grow, but you
need to own something or investin something as a result of
(54:08):
making sure that you startcreating a portfolio that's
different than just existing,because I think sometimes we're
just such consumers that we got,we want to go buy everything
and have everything, but notthat piece where there's tithing
and the piece where there'ssavings and investing.
Do you have a formula for howmuch money you should actually
(54:29):
live on compared to how muchmoney?
Speaker 1 (54:33):
And I know it's different phases at different
times in life and stuff, but ifthat's something you that you
know a mentor told you or helpedyou out with, that you would
love to share with us you know Iso I struggle on saying how
much somebody should live onright, but I will say I will say
there are a couple key thingsthat I live by right and so I
will say there are a couple ofkey things that I live by Right.
(54:56):
So if I can't, I apologize.
I can't turn this computer off,I can't If one.
Having you know, my mother, mygrandma, my, actually my aunt
I'm sorry, my aunt would alwaystell me like you need to have at
least six months of whateveryour bills are.
Right, it was just, that's justthe way it was.
You put six months to the side.
Right, that's just the way itwas.
You put six months to the sideOne of the things that I heard
(55:17):
recently from a financialplanner.
He said if you can't buy it 10times, don't buy it right, With
the exception of, maybe, the caror the house.
But other than that, if youwant to on to to your Amazon
account or whatnot, and purchase, you know whatever you're
(55:37):
buying, can you buy it 10 timesand if you can't buy it 10 times
.
maybe you don't need to buy it,you know, and I say well, you
know, 10 seems a little high,you know.
But you know, maybe I need toapply that, but I think it's a
great rule.
You know, I can't say that I'mliving by 10 times on every
purchase, but sometimes I thinkit makes sense to like start to
(55:59):
apply those things, becauseobviously everyone deals with
different income levels andwhatnot, you know, and so maybe
it's, it's, it's your objectiveis more of a business plan to
say I want to increase my income, so I'm at this job and I'm
going to be looking and growingmy skill set so I can be more
marketable and earn some moremoney in my next opportunity.
(56:20):
I think that those are equallyimportant as well.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
Thank you.
I've been really selfish inasking the questions that I want
to know, so my life can improvefrom somebody such as yourself.
But what did we not talk aboutin our last few minutes that we
have together that you wouldlove to make sure that our
audience hears, that ouraudience knows about today?
Speaker 1 (56:43):
So a couple of things I saw on one of the things that
you have spoken on many timeswas, you know, past trauma, and
I think that that's veryimportant because I'll be honest
with you.
I went through certain times inmy life where people would talk
about trauma and I'm like that'sjust an excuse, just get up and
(57:05):
do it.
And as I've gotten older andI've witnessed people go through
trauma and how it's impactedcertain things, then you start
to look at yourself a little bitmore, and I think I would
encourage all listeners men,women, black, white, anyone I
think it's very important for usto really identify what is
impacting us.
(57:25):
That's behavior, wise, that'sany of those things.
I think if you grew up in ahome where everybody was short
tempered and everybody's yellingall the time, that might not
translate very well to business,right, and so I think really
understanding those concepts arevery important and I would just
challenge you to really do adeep dive in yourself.
(57:49):
A second thing I would say islike in our community, I don't
think we utilize therapy enough.
You know, I think it's almost ataboo.
It's almost like buying lifeinsurance.
If I buy life insurance I'mgoing to die, right, and so
that's why people kind of have asubconscious thought about.
But I think therapy is like ifI go to a therapist and I'm
acknowledging I have a problem.
No, you might just need to vent, and you might need to vent to
(58:12):
somebody who's not going to leadyou down a wrong path, like,
yes, leave, quit your job, right, you might vent to somebody
who's going to be a little morelogical and is disconnected from
your situation, and so that'svery important as well, so you
know.
I think that those two thingswill help us be better.
Fathers will help us be betterfathers also help us be better
(58:36):
children, as our parents areaging.
Better business people you know, as well as better friends, and
I think that you know we canwork on ourselves.
I think you know social mediais very funny because social
media, when you go on there,everybody's telling everybody
else about them but you don'treally find too much where
people are saying you know, I'vehad to overcome this.
(58:59):
I remember growing up in thechurch I loved testimony because
testimony always taught me likeit was real, like wow, they
went through that or theirlights were cut off, oh my God.
Like I didn't know that, youknow, and it was really like it
was educational for me.
I enjoyed the testimony more sothat somebody come and pointing
a finger and saying this iswhat you better do you know, and
I think that that's veryimportant.
(59:20):
So those things you know if wekind of conclude on that note, I
definitely think those are veryimportant.
I would encourage anybody toreally take a deep dive
internally.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Yeah, well, thank you , because that is so important
and sometimes we tend to, like Isaid before, try to figure this
all out by ourselves, and thereare people out there that are
willing not only to help but canguide you through whatever it
is you're going through.
And if we lean on each other,the chances of us doing better
as a community is that muchgreater community is that much
(59:55):
greater.
And so I just said I thank youfor being part of the show today
.
I thank you for your wisdom.
I'm hoping that maybe we canyou know after, since you're
president elect now, after youbecome president, maybe we can
just come back and do a showthat's just on NARAB and what
NARAB's doing and how it'simpacting the community and all
the wonderful things that youguys do.
I guess I'm part of NARAB too,but, as the organization does to
just make lives better forthose out there and if you are a
(01:00:22):
person that enjoyed this showand you enjoyed listening to
Ashley and I go back and forththere's so many like this that
are there, people who are doingit I wish you, hope that you
would take advantage of it andso hit notifications so you know
when new ones are coming out.
Go through the library of over170, some episodes of black men
(01:00:43):
who are doing something specialin their communities and making
it happen.
And, ashley, like I said again,for you to take your time and,
you know, out of your day to beable to talk with us.
It's just been a pleasure andit's been wonderful and I can't
wait to talk to you on the nextone.
So for those of you out there,don't forget you are God's
greatest gift.
He loves you if you allow himto, and we look forward to
talking to you on the next one.
We overthink ourselves and then we feel stuck
in a situation.
Take one thing at a time.
Focus on the next step,understanding the long goal.
The sacrifices today will payoff for tomorrow.
That will help a lot of us toreally move forward.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Okay, welcome to another edition of the Journey
to Freedom podcast.
And I'm Dr B, I'm your host,and there's days where I say I'm
(00:42):
excited because I guess I'malways excited about the guests
that I have but then there'sdays where I just go I can't
wait to do this podcast, I can'twait to do this show, and today
is one of those days.
That last year Ashley and Iwere able to get together and we
met each other over at theNARAB convention that was in New
Orleans and it was unbelievable.
(01:03):
I can't wait to go back thisyear.
I know it's going to be in LA.
You'll probably talk about thata little bit, but we just we
got to have some dialogue and wegot to talk and my podcast was
at the infancies at the time.
We talked, you know, over thesummer and you know I probably
had 50 to 60 episodes that are.
You know we're now over 170episodes that we have put
together of black men who aredoing a whole lot to make this
(01:28):
world a different place.
You know this, last January, atthe end of January, I was able
to take 18 of the men that wetalked to.
We took them to Alabama for acivil rights victory tour and
that was about transformationaland I felt like I walked back
into the 1970s and you know, wewere in Birmingham, went from
(01:48):
Birmingham and we went to Selmaand then we end up at Montgomery
at the Equal Justice Museum.
But to have some of these guysI had two of my son and my
son-in-law.
One lives in Rancho Cucamonga,one lives in Rialto.
They were able to fly out andgo there lives in Rancho
Cucamonga, one lives in Rialto.
They were able to fly out andgo there.
And even though I've talkedabout stuff over a lifetime,
it's different when you haveadult children that are now
(02:11):
experiencing.
You know the things that havewent on, the things that we, the
shoulders of you, know thegiants that we stand on as we
move forward and as we do things.
And Journey to Freedom camefrom me just going to a trust
leadership conference wherethere was a room where we were
learning about trust.
There was 500 people there andthere are about 30 folks that
(02:35):
are people of color that were inthe room and I'm like why is
our community not accessing thisinformation and why are we not
benefiting and flourishing as aresult?
And that came back and that'swhat began the Journey to
Freedom podcast and since thenit's been successful man after
successful man.
Who's this little man that havedone stuff?
We even started a show calledwhy Love Waits on Sunday nights
(02:58):
where we're talking about it.
I actually don't know if youknow the statistic, but there's
about 49.8% of Black women whoare over the age of 40 have
never been married, and there'san issue with our families and
there's an issue with you know,because it wasn't like that in
the 40s and 50s and the 60s butthere wasn't as much integration
and there was segregation andyou know the things our kids
(03:21):
were doing well in schools, andthen 75% of that 50% have at
least one child, and so we'rethinking about where are men at
in the you know, growing kids,and one of the themes that I
found from this podcast is thatmen do want to take care of
their kids.
Men do want the responsibilityMen do want to provide.
(03:42):
It just sometimes seems likethere's this bad rap that
sometimes we get, and so hencewhy you're on the show.
Ashley is the president-elect ofthe NARAB Association, which is
the National Association ofReal Estate Brokers, which is
the Black Realist, and I wantyou to learn a lot about it, and
we'll talk about some websitesto go to uh at the end, but he's
(04:04):
also a very successful uhbusinessman that lives in
southern california and has justdone some amazing things and,
like all of our guests, I'veasked him to tell his story
first, because it's one thing toknow what we do.
It's another thing to know whowe are and where we came from
and how we got, because theother theme actually that that
that folks have said is I neededto see somebody who looked like
(04:27):
me doing whatever, even closeto doing whatever, to know that
I could do that.
Now myself I would say, oh, Idon't need that, I don't need to
, I don't need to see people.
But then I go to these eventslike the trust edge and I find
myself counting there.
They want you and I find myselfgoing to talk to people, so I
pretend like I don't care, butit does matter, and then I get
(04:49):
to go to a place like NARAB andgo.
I don't need to count anybody,we're here, we're home, and so
thank you for being willing tobe on, thank you for having
these conversations that youhave offline with other folks,
and please go ahead and tellyour story, and then we'll just
kind of chop it up after that.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
No, dr B, first let me just thank you for inviting
me out and then calling mesuccessful.
I appreciate the complimentthere.
You know, obviously it's hardwork every day, and so I'm just
thankful to God to even be here,to be here today.
But I will say, you know, mystory starts and I won't go too
long because I could ramble onmy story for a while, but I just
(05:26):
kind of hit some highlights.
You know, I graduated highschool and entered the workforce
right away, you know, got intobanking.
I've been working since I was 14and a half years old or whatnot
, and then so when I graduated,I got into banking, and then I
did that for some years while Iwas going to college and the
bank ultimately was robbed oneday, and so they allowed us to
(05:51):
be retrained, and so I left theteller line and then went and
learned mortgages, and so I'vebeen doing mortgages now for
over 25 years, and then I alsoentered into real estate during
that time as well.
So I was in my early 20s doingthat, learning as well as just
(06:11):
really trying to soak up all theinformation that I could in
this particular industry.
I fell into it a little bit, asopposed to this being something
that I wanted to do, but I fellin love with it because we're
able to help so many people getinto homeownership, which
obviously creates generationalwealth.
So fast forward a little bit,2007 or so.
(06:31):
I ended up opening up a companyand expanding my company there.
I did some servicing for sometime where people were in
foreclosure, really trying tohelp them save their homes, and
I found that it was verychallenging to save people once
they were so far behind.
So I really wanted to deal withit more on the origination side
(06:52):
, really learn how to helppeople on the front side so that
way they didn't run into theseproblems on the backside, and so
I've been doing real estate andmortgages for that amount of
time.
As you stated, I am thepresident elect of the National
Association of Real EstateBrokers.
We are a organization that wasfounded in 1947 during a time
where blacks were not allowed topractice real estate openly in
(07:17):
a lot of areas.
We couldn't purchase propertiesin many areas, so it just
allowed.
So we've been fighting fordemocracy in housing ever since
then and I've joined theorganization in late areas.
So we've been fighting fordemocracy in housing ever since
then and I've joined theorganization in late 2009,.
Truly, as a volunteerorganization was able to service
and give a lot of my time andefforts to that, really was able
(07:37):
to learn from a lot of ICONmembers, which I denote a lot of
my success in business justbeing a part of a volunteer
organization such as NAGRAP.
And so now we are here today,we have our annual convention in
July, at which time I'll besworn in as the president of the
organization and there's somuch to discuss in terms of
(07:59):
housing, the currentadministration and all those
things.
But that's pretty much anoverview of my story.
I'm the broker owner of LA TopBroker right here in Los Angeles
.
We land in California, texas,louisiana, georgia and we do
real estate throughout the stateof California.
So I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
So cool when I talk about identity and thinking
about the person that we havebecome and you know, you don't
just end up, you know, show upout of high school or show up,
you know, and you are nowpresident elect of a national
organization.
What are some things that youhad to do to work on your
(08:39):
identity and who were you?
Like you say, out of highschool, I went straight to work.
You know where we sometimes wetalk about hey, you got to go to
get this degree, or you got togo to this trade school, or you
got to do this and this.
How did that transpire for youto become the person that you
are?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
today.
You know, I was raised in asingle mother household, and so
my mother was really disciplinedin terms of making sure we got
up and we went to work and wewent to school.
That's what we did.
It was no questions about it.
You know it wasn't a sneeze,and I get to stay home.
It was like you had to be.
(09:19):
It was either school or thehospital.
Where are we going?
So I think that that really itparted into my work ethics.
You know, no matter what yougot to show up, and I think
that's a big part of it.
So my identity has always beento show up, even if you don't
know, you're not comfortable,whatever it is, most of the job
is really showing up and beingpresent, and so those are the
(09:41):
things that I really try toinstill into my children now is
that you know we show up.
We've got to get up in themorning and be present, and so
I'm seeing that manifest in themand I'm excited about that.
But that's pretty much.
I would say that that'ssomething that my mother
instilled in me at a very, veryyoung age that no matter what,
(10:02):
you have to show up.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
It sounds like you had an incredibly amazing mom
that you should have Were there,other mentors or people around.
Did you grow up in LA or didyou grow up in another part of
the country?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Actually, you said your son is in Rialto.
I actually grew up in Rialto,pomona, rialto, bouncing back
and forth.
My grandmother was veryinstrumental in my life, but in
terms of like the molding andthe mentoring and that as a
young man, I would say my churchcommunity, because that was
another thing.
Sunday morning we were going tochurch, no matter what, and
(10:38):
then also I played sports.
So getting that competitiveedge, that energy and all of
that out of there, I was abasketball player throughout
high school.
I still think I can get outthere, but I think my mind is
more than my body at this stagein my life.
But I still will take on achallenge anywhere.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So but yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that those my coaches and everything like
really were a mentor and I keepin contact with everyone still
to this day.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Did you go to high school out in Rialto?
I did.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I actually went to Bloomington High School, which
is like on south of Rialto area.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I taught at Cal State , san Bernardino, for several
years and so I know the areareally well, and then UC
Riverside and ended up at aPacific University as a
professor there.
So I know, know the area wellwhen I think about you know the,
the identity and and and whatwe move in and moving up.
You kind of talked about youknow your coaches and the things
(11:43):
.
Was there anything like as adream or things that you wanted
to be?
You know you probably didn'tdream I'm going to go be the
president of elective.
You know NARAP someday when youwere in high school, but what
were some of you know the dreamsthat you had that you were able
to kind of say, ok, these arethings that I think I can
achieve.
(12:03):
I want to achieve.
What did that look like?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I think for me, the dream was just security.
My mother she bought a homeearly in my life and so I had a
lot of friends that moved aroundall the time and so we were
just there.
And so my mom's home was it'spretty funny because everyone's
called it like central stationEverybody just knew that's where
(12:27):
we were going to be at.
If my phone number changed ormy pager number changed back
then not trying to date myselfthey knew that they could go to
my mom's house and say, hey,where's Ashley?
You know, and so I took thatfrom her in terms of
understanding what stability is.
So, in terms of like dreams, mydream was always to be
financially secure, not have tobe stressful about those types
(12:50):
of things.
Now, in terms of career, Inever thought I would get into
real estate, that's just.
It was a dream that you know,took off on its own and I'm so
blessed to be a part of it, butI would say that I attended.
I wanted to attend college andbecome an attorney.
Right, I had a son at an earlyage and my you know I had my
(13:14):
focus had to change to him onthat, and so I'm blessed to be
able to fall into something thatI love and it wasn't a negative
and you know, and he's doing aphenomenal job and I'm so proud
of that.
But you know, things happen inlife and you have to bounce back
and you have to know how topivot, and so I had to make that
pivot into real estate and it'sbeen very blessing a blessing
(13:34):
for my family.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
What do you think you know?
I think about wires and I thinkof all of the folks who say you
know, I want to have my ownbusiness or I want to be secure.
I want to be that.
And so many people talk aboutit but so few people actually do
it.
And there was a point in yourlife where you said I'm working
for the bank.
They've taught me all theseskills, but I don't want to
(13:59):
spend the rest of my lifeworking for the bank.
I want to do this on my own.
What kind of walk us through?
What led you to be able to sayI'm going to do this and then be
willing to just take that riskto make that?
But I think there's so manypeople who go.
I think I want to do it, butI'm scared.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, I think, being in banking at such an early age,
assisting customers as theywalked in, seeing the different
flow in terms of financialwherewithal on individuals, I
was drawn to entrepreneurship asa result of that, and so I had
a thirst for it.
And I think the most importantthing in entrepreneurship or
(14:40):
learning or starting a businessor whatnot is to really be
humble, is really to ask thequestions, and I think sometimes
we engage ourselves intomeetings or into situations and
act as though we know and wedon't, and so you know, my
advice is to be humble and askthe questions.
I asked a million questions toa lot of people and I said, well
(15:02):
, how do I set this up?
Is that the best way?
Then I would go ask someoneelse Is this what I'm advised on
, how we should set this up?
And I think it really comesdown to really asking the
questions that you don't knowand being humble about it and
removing ego.
Ego is the biggest deterrent ofsuccess that I have ever seen
(15:22):
there, so to this day, I haveever seen there.
So to this day, I have mentors.
I've been in the business 25years, but it doesn't mean that
I can't learn from somebodywho's been in the business 10
years, and so to be able to beforever teachable is very
important, and so that's onething that I would say that I
pretty much have.
The reason why I got intoentrepreneurship and try to
(15:44):
maintain my level of success andengagement is really to be
humble and remove ego and thento give back.
I love I teach classes everyweek to people, whether they're
in my company or not in mycompany, that everybody's
welcome to join my class and getinvolved in that, and I think
that gives me a sense of beingable to pour back into the
(16:04):
community, and so I love it, andso I'll continue to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Thank you for sharing that.
We've mentioned mentors a fewtimes.
A few times so far, you talkedabout the mentors that helped
shape your identity, but what Ithink that's super important
that people realize is there'smentors that continue you
(16:29):
forward in order to move up, andit's probably not just one
mentor in your life that doeseverything.
It's like you have to seek outand look for people Right.
I mean, they didn't just showup and knock on your door and
say, ashley, I would love tomentor you today.
How?
do I, how do I do?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
that, absolutely.
It's a lot of mentors.
You have different ones.
You have a mentor who's goingto teach you how to scale your
business from A to Z, but thenyou also have a mentor who's
going to teach you how to be abetter parent, and then you have
a mentor who's going to teachyou how to maintain your
emotions.
In these types of situations,you can draw different things
(17:03):
from different people, and Ithink, when we met at the NARAB
convention and we were in themen's session, you know, just
sitting there, even if you'renot speaking, you're listening.
You're drawing something fromeveryone, right?
And so, in terms of a capacity,when we use the word mentor,
sometimes we tie it to wherewe're going to meet every Friday
, we're going to have coffee,we're going to do this, this.
(17:25):
No, I think, even just in theengagement of a conversation,
you can draw something fromsomeone and really apply it into
your life, and so, or you candraw something from someone and
decide I do not want to applythat, right, because mentorship
comes multiple ways, right?
Sometimes you will say you knowwhat, I don't want to do that,
and so you learn from that andyou apply it to your life
accordingly.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, I have mentors that even like online or YouTube
videos that I watch, that theymay never know that they're my
mentor, but you know I willconsume 100 hours or 50 hours of
content just so that I can.
I can become a different personor I can become better.
One of the things that I wouldlove to talk about is family,
(18:09):
and so or even you know, even wecan break it down to the Black
family if we want, and I knowthat you're a dad, and one of
the things that has also been atheme is talking to dad, because
I think we realize that kidsneed a mom and a dad they
absolutely 100% for them tothrive and grow, and they don't
always get that and sometimes itand a dad they absolutely 100%
for them to thrive and grow, andthey don't always get that, and
sometimes it's the communitythat takes over as one of the
(18:29):
roles of the parent, butsometimes we neglect to talk
about what does it mean to be adad and how has that changed our
lives and how we look at anysituation we have, because we
are a dad and we care about whatour kids are going to get from
it and we're trying to protectthem and we want to be the
example, and I think sometimesit changes how we go through
(18:53):
life.
I mean, we're this one personwhen we're graduating high
school and we're getting outinto the world and then we
become a father or a dad.
It kind of changes that.
What does it mean to you to bea dad?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I mean, it's everything.
It's the greatestaccomplishment I've ever had,
being able to see pour into mychildren.
But then there's a lot that ourchildren give us that sometimes
we don't think about.
They give you the strength toget up.
You know you got to be strongand they help you, you through
(19:29):
whatever and don't even knowwhat's going on or whatnot.
And so you know I have threebeautiful children Amari is 24,
taylor is 19, and Journey isnine.
And so you know they're great.
It's just a great feeling forme.
You know, probably the fewthings that can probably take a
(19:50):
grown man to tears is talkingabout.
You know their children, and soyou know I love them to death.
There's nothing I wouldn't do,and I just think that that's a
different type of you know, forthose that are not involved in
their children's life, I wouldjust say that you're missing out
, but it's never too late.
My father passed away severalyears ago and we had a strange
(20:13):
relationship when I became ateenager or whatnot, because he
wasn't present.
But then later upon his death,years prior to that, we made
amends and we I mean that wasmy- best friend, and so, you
know, it became, became, it camefull circle, and so I would
just encourage those that arewatching that might have uh,
(20:34):
challenges with your children orwhatnot have fallen out.
It's never too late to correctit.
I know my father and I did, and, like I said earlier when I was
saying sometimes you could takethings from people like a
mentor, you could take a piecefrom somebody and say I, I don't
want to do that, you know, andso I've applied that with my
father, you know, and those gapsto my children.
(20:54):
I don't want to do that, youknow.
I want to do things differently, and so I've been able to do
things differently.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And so when you think about family and how important
family is, I know faith is apart of you, know your makeup
and who you are, but you know,as you approach family and you
had the you know estranged dadfor a little bit and you know an
incredible mom.
You know mom that raised you.
How does those experience helpyou in thinking about your
(21:23):
responsibility?
You know in your family andwhat you have to do.
I mean sometimes we get so intoour work or the things we do
that we have to, I guess, try tobalance family, but for some of
us no family comes first.
No matter what, there's nobalancing, but you're still
running a corporation at thesame time, right?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, so I've struggled at periods in my life
with work-life balance.
I think that's something thatevery entrepreneur probably can
acknowledge, that they'vestruggled with, because you're
committed to wanting to giveyour family a different life
than maybe that you had, and soyou're head down working and you
(22:06):
might look up and you'remissing something or you're not
fully engaged, and so I think,especially today, we live in a
world of technology, soeverybody has a cell phone,
they're at the dinner table,everybody's on their own phone,
and I think you know, trying tobe intentional is very important
about the time that we have,because we all understand
(22:27):
tomorrow's not promised.
You know we've.
You know I'm 45, be 46 shortly,and I think you know, looking
back, I've had friends that areno longer with us, and so you
have to think about I wonderwhat they would wish they could
have back, and I think it wouldbe family, it'd be the
interaction with their childrenand whatnot.
(22:48):
I take that very serious.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
You talked about your kids a little bit.
You have one that's 24 andanother one that's nine.
You have to show up as adifferent dad between those two
relationships, right?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I think the 24-year-old, because I was much
younger.
I said, you know, runningaround at the park was a little
different than me running aroundat the park with a
nine-year-old today, you know.
And so we do a little bit moreplay dates so they have friends
that will run, because I'm notso much the runner anymore.
But, yeah, you know, it'sdifferent, you know.
(23:27):
But then also too, it'sdifferent financially, right?
So today raising children isdifferent than 20 years ago.
It wasn't for me when I wastrying to get up off the ground,
and I think that that's thingsthat we have to, you know, talk
a little bit more about and behonest about, you know.
And so I talked to my childrenabout that.
They understand, you know,different situations.
My son might say well, when Iwas growing up I didn't get to
(23:47):
do that, you know.
And so, hey, we have aconversation.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
So yeah, I think it's so good because sometimes I
think we don't want to show ourkids or talk about the times
when we struggled.
But failure and struggle ispart of success and you know,
even though they weren't timesthat we say, oh, you know I did
great, or you know I mademistakes, or whatever it is, I
(24:11):
think it's so important that wehave those conversations and we
get to talk about it and I mean,have you been able to?
It sounds like you've been ableto.
You know, hey, this is 2007 andeight weren't the greatest
years of our lives.
And these are the things thathappened, happen, you know, and
then so forth as you moveforward oh no, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I think having the conversations is is a class,
it's a training, right?
So I'm teaching my childrenlike, hey, these are the
mistakes that I made.
I don't want you to make themistakes, you know.
You know, I think sometimes andthat goes back to we were
talking about ego sometimespeople want to walk around that
they're perfect and they do thisand they do that, and that's
not always the case, right andso and I think you can mask it
(24:54):
for only so long.
So you have to be, you know,live your life with transparency
, and I think especially withchildren.
They know, you know, and so it'sgood to have the conversation
and I talk to all of my childrenabout.
You know, life financesstruggles.
Here's an example.
Dad went through this.
This is what I don't want youto do, you know.
(25:17):
This is why I'm saying don't goleft, go right, and we have
these conversations Verytransparent.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
It's so cool.
My children are grown, so Ihave eight of them and my
youngest is 29 now.
It's so cool.
My children are grown, so Ihave eight of them and my
youngest is 29 now.
I just turned 60 two weeks ago,and so it's fun because, you
know, now I'm talking to my kidsand they're telling me Dad, I
remember you doing this, and I'mlike, oh no, I don't remember
(25:45):
that.
Don't tell my grandkids that,don't tell me that this is what
happened.
One of the things I love to kindof ask you, because I think
that a lot of us feel likesometimes we're stuck, like we
don't know how to move forward.
We don't know how to move inYou're, you know, as you're
getting ready to become thepresident of a predominantly
Black organization, what aresome of the things that you
might give as advice to folksthat are thinking I want to do
(26:06):
something, I want to moveforward.
I feel like I haven't had theopportunities that other people
have had.
I don't really know how to getgoing or started.
What were some of the thingsthat maybe either you did, or
some of the things you do inyour classes now, that help
folks that are just, they get upevery morning and they're not
excited about it.
I love my life.
(26:27):
I can't wait to get up everyday, but I know there's so many
people that are not there.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, and I think for me it's a little different.
I'm 5'5", so I playedbasketball and I loved it.
I love the terminology poundfor pound, right, because pound
for pound, I want to say that Iwas probably one of the great
ones, but I was 5'5", so youhave to get up and you have to
show up every day, every day.
So I think when we talk aboutbeing stuck, it's really about
(26:57):
committing to what it is thatyou say you're going to do and
doing it.
I always take the example of ifyou're at home and you're like,
hey, I'm going to do this today,I have all these chores I'm
going to do, and then youoverwhelm yourself so you end up
not doing any of them or you dothem halfway.
So I think it's like take onething at a time, focus on the
(27:17):
next step, understanding thelong goal.
The sacrifices today will payoff for tomorrow, and I think
that that will help a lot of usto really move forward, when I
learned how to put one foot infront of the other and really
just say, okay, yes, I want toscale my company to a certain
level.
But then I had to say, well,okay, well, what level am I at
(27:39):
now?
What's the next level, asopposed to thinking 10 levels
down the way.
I think sometimes we overthinkourselves and then we feel stuck
in a situation.
So you know, if you did, if youdid, I tell my loan officers if
you did one loan last month,you know this month you're
trying to do two, right.
But if, sometimes, if you justsit up here and say I'm going to
do 10.
Right, you're always going tofeel like you haven't reached
(28:01):
that goal.
So baby steps are veryimportant into the long journey.
You know, and I think sometimesthat's misunderstood.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, it is the journey, right that you don't
just wake up.
And I think, especially in ourfast paced society, maybe you
can kind of talk about.
You brought up technology alittle bit, but these are these
devices, and now we have AI andwe have all these things and I
think the expectation is well, Ican do everything instantly and
it's not going to take me.
(28:47):
Maybe you can talk a little bitabout becoming the person that
can do the thing, instead ofjust trying to do everything and
have everything and not thatpersonal development piece that
we all have to go through inorder to be that person who can
do it.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah, I mean with technology.
I'll just tell you that Ithought I was a technology
person, but it's moving so fastthat you look up and you're
feeling like you're left behindand I think that kind of really
drives us in terms of not beingable to fully understand or
fully commit to getting up andworking.
(29:13):
I saw an interview with MichaelJordan and he was talking about
contracts, he was talking aboutendorsements, and I thought it
was a great interview because hewas saying that today there's
players that are getting paidbefore they even played their
first game.
Back in the day, you had toprove yourself before you got
(29:34):
paid, and it's just a differenttime in which we live in.
And I see that a lot of times invarious industries, not just
athletics, but in business aswell.
You know people are coming inand saying that, hey, I'm
qualified because I'mself-qualified, and so I should
get compensated this amount or Ishould get treated a certain
(29:54):
way, and they haven't put in thework.
And I still think that oldschool putting in the work,
elbow grease, learning, gettingdown, getting your hands a
little dirty is the way to go,and it's going to teach you a
lot in the long run to actuallyapply yourself.
Know, people out in salesaren't doing any business, but
they got five assistants.
(30:16):
I I can't understand it right.
I still don't understand it,you know.
And so, and I'm sitting overhere and I'm, you know, I'm
getting up early in the morning,I'm staying late in the evening
, I'm doing the sacrifice thatare needed, and so I think that
we have to get back into thework ethics that many of our
parents, grandparents and so onhad years ago.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Think about relationships,because you are in a
relationship-oriented business,you can't do without
relationships, and some peoplewant to forgo that.
For whether it's the technologyor I'll just email you and you
know you expect a response, oryou're not picking up the phone.
What would you say about theimportance of relationship for
(31:02):
long-term success?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
No.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
So for me relationships are everything.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I think making that, that connection with somebody,
um, personally, uh, will takethings a long way.
You know, um, we could look atthings different.
We could have did thisinterview over the phone, but
the connection with the videoconnects us a little closer.
Right now.
I see your face, your face, yousee my face, and I think that
(31:27):
that's what most humans want,not just in business, just in
personal things right In family.
Your sibling or whatnot livesless than an hour away, but you
haven't seen them in eightmonths.
You know like those connections, you can talk to them all you
want, but I think it reallymeans so much more for you to
pull up on them and spend acouple hours with them or
(31:50):
whatnot, and then go back home.
I think that we look at thingsas sacrifice, and I think time
is so important, whichtechnology saves us a lot of
time.
But what are we doing with thetime that we're saving?
Are we investing that back intoour families or are we still
chasing a moving target?
And so it's very important tome.
I love to entertain, have myfriends over, my family over and
(32:13):
whatnot, and that's because Ienjoy the interaction of humans.
So you know, hopefully thatdoesn't go away with all of this
new technology, but no matterwhat, I'm gonna always be that
person and I think it's helpedme so far in business as well as
personally so much.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
I agree so much.
I mean, the relationships areeverything, and when we look at
our phones and we have 3,000folks that are on our phone and
our acquaintance, it's therelationships of the people that
are closest to it that seem tomake all the difference in the
world.
I want to pivot a little bit tojust business.
(32:55):
You've talked about words likescaling and you've said things
like to move up in my company orI have employees or five
assistants, and there's folksthat are saying, ok, I want to
do this and I want to do itright.
Where do you go to learn aboutbusiness?
(33:15):
And you know, I can say, like Ihad a guest on a couple you
know last week.
It was hey, I learned how to bea businessman because I was a
drug dealer.
I'm not suggesting that toanybody who's watching or
listening, and that's why we'retalking to Ashley this week, but
what is it that you think isthe best way to learn?
And then, what are some of thepitfalls that people are
(33:36):
definitely going to encounterthat they shouldn't stop,
because it's the guy whoperseveres and does it 25 years
that gets to see all the fruitsof it, not the guy who does it
for three months and quitsbecause he didn't think it was
going to be this hard.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Yeah, I mean for business, I would say in terms
of where I went to get mybusiness.
I think in a lot of businesses,especially in the Black
community, we're good at what wedo.
We're great at what we do right.
So if we cook pies, we're thebest pie maker.
But that doesn't translate toactually understanding how to
run a pie business right.
And so for me, you know, I wasgreat at sales, making
(34:17):
connection with people,understanding what their needs
were and having thatconversation.
But then to actually say nowI'm running a business where I
have employees and have all ofthat.
So my first mentor, who hasbeen my tax accountant for many
years, is probably the greatestmentor I've had in business,
because he sees everyone'sbusiness.
So he told me I said this ishow you set it up, this is what
(34:40):
you need to do, this you know.
So I was able to stay away fromsome pitfalls not all of them,
but some of them and then reallygo that direction.
Now, on the other side of thescaling, I looked at people that
were doing business to where Iwanted to go and I wouldn't ask
them.
I had questions, not everyone.
Some people looked at me as acompetitor.
I'm not going to show you whatI do, but others were like, hey,
(35:02):
I'll show you everythingbecause there's enough pie for
all of us to go around, and sofinding those individuals are
very important Then becomingthat individual.
So I feel the same way.
I have people that have workedin my company, have gone on to
open up other companies and Ilove it and I congratulate them
(35:22):
and I'm there on opening nightand I'm supporting them and
everything like that, and Ithink we need to do a better job
of that piece in terms ofsupporting one another, as
opposed to looking at each otheras competition.
Right, I do, you know.
Let's just say there's 500,000transactions in the state of
California, but I can handle allof those.
Why wouldn't I want to see myfriend or my family member doing
(35:45):
that as well with me?
So you know, I think thatthat's very important.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Oh my gosh.
I love it because when youthink about lack and abundance
and there's so much of our likein this day and age, with our
country and where it's at, wherethere's just this lack of
mentality that says, if you have, it must take from me, and if I
have and I give it to you, Ican't have it, how have you been
(36:10):
able to live your life withthat abundance mindset that says
there's enough for everybody?
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Because there truly is I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
God is a God of abundance and resources.
And why would you think thatjust because I'm in the same,
you know in the same areas thatthere's not enough for both of
us to be able to thrive.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, I think you know, and probably when we're
done I'm going to pick up thephone and call my mother,
because she's coming up so muchin this conversation that I
didn't even think about.
But you know, my mom, you know,single mother worked very hard,
those types of things.
We had family members thatmaybe didn't have certain things
(36:52):
and my mom would.
I'd come downstairs and she wasgiving away the TV, you know,
cause we didn't need multipleTVs.
We were fine, they don't haveone.
So here we go, you know, andI'm thinking like, but what are
we doing?
Like that's my TV, you know.
And so learning.
That has really been a blessingfor me.
I don't even think about givingsomebody any type of assistance
(37:18):
.
I'm sorry, I thought I hadturned it off, so I don't even
question helping anybody oranything like that, and I think
that that's really helped me inthe long run because there's
always going to be a day whereyou're going to be the one who's
needing help, you know, and sodon't get too full of yourself
in business, because and whichwe learned in 2009, 2010,.
(37:39):
In the housing marketspecifically, it didn't matter
how great and how manyconnections you had If you
weren't, you know, when theforeclosure started happening, a
lot of people weren't doingbusiness anymore.
People were moving.
They were on a different sideof this, you know, and so I
think that that was somethingthat really was a humbling
experience for the industry.
But then let's fast forward.
(38:00):
We go 10 years later.
Many people forgot about that.
They forgot what that felt like, and so I would just encourage
people don't forget about thestruggles and the trials that
you went through.
No matter where you're at today, you can be back there tomorrow
, and so it's always aboutconstantly working, focusing on
what it is that you want to doand being humble to the fact
(38:21):
that you can be up today anddown tomorrow, and we've seen
that story play over millions oftimes, so don't think that
you're exempt from thathappening to you, and so I live
my life that way right.
I live my life understanding.
Yeah, I'm a business ownertoday, but next week I can say I
used to be a business owner,right, but for the grace of God,
understanding and remaininghumble, those are very important
(38:45):
to do, and so, and you alsowant to make those connections
that we talked about before,because if people don't want to
be around you, they don't wantto do business with you.
And so, from a businessperspective that has helped me
tremendously.
It's something that I'vesacrificed hours in the office
to get out there and reinforcethose connections and
interactions with people.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Since, thinking through 2007 and 2008 and all
the relationships that I canstill call on those folks, even
though everything happened.
I had a mortgage business inRancho Cucamonga and it was just
.
It was gone.
You say business owner today,not business owner next week.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, you're counting on some of those deals to close
.
You had already spent thosechecks right and it was canceled
, you know, and so that'ssomething that really hit a lot
of families.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Oh, it did in a big way.
Which brings me one is youcan't out give God and he's a
God of abundance.
And maybe you can talk a littlebit about your faith and how
your faith has played a part inyour success and and the
failures that you have, and andhow you've depended on him to
through all this process.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
This is my favorite question so far and I love the
question just because I am a manof faith, you know, in terms of
God and my relationship and thethings he's, but not just
because of the things he'sbrought me through, Right, you
know?
Just just, I believe that it'sa blessing to wake up every
(40:24):
morning.
Blessing to wake up everymorning and one of the things
that I've been saying lately in2025, I said in 2025, I'm going
to live my life to the fullestevery single day, and the reason
, one of the reasons why isbecause I don't want God to look
at the list and say, well,who's not enjoying their time?
I want to be so far down thatlist where he's like you know
(40:44):
what, as he's enjoying his time,you know we're going to
continue to protect him withgrace and everything like that.
You know, and so I live.
I feel like not living your life, living your life in
unhappiness and anger and all ofthe negative attributes.
I feel like it's almostoffensive to God's blessing to
(41:04):
wake you up in the morning, andso that's how I live my life.
That's how I encourage thosearound me to live their life.
If people come in and they'renot feeling well, and they come
to the office and they have adowntime or an attitude.
I feel like it's my job tobring them out of that.
And I have people around me thatdo the same for me as well, and
(41:26):
I have people around me that dothe same for me as well.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
So I got yes and yeah , as I was doing my walk this
morning I was, I was just sothankful for what I haven't had
to endure and all the thingsthat I've been blessed with the
fact that I could get up andwalk this morning and talk this
morning, you know, be able tohave this conversation.
That that we get to have todayis such a blessing, absolutely.
(41:49):
Where would I be without that?
When?
I think about you know a lot of.
You know, especially men, menof color, that have not been as
blessed or have had to gothrough some things, had to go
through some things and you knowI listened to a guy named Myron
(42:11):
Golden who talks about that'snot the reason, for you know the
, I guess, determining factorand the you know the factors
that the reasons why we don'tsucceed, and but there has been
trauma and there has been somethings and and I know you know
people in some trauma that we'veall had ourselves.
What would be your advice ofdealing with trauma and how to
(42:32):
move forward and not and not gobackwards as a result of it?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, and I say you know, being a black man in
America, you know there'ssystemic barriers, there's past
trauma that has come throughgenerationally.
And so I understand first,because what I don't want to
ever do is answer the questionfrom a perspective of
(42:58):
superiority or that I've learnedor I've mastered the questions,
because we all go through it.
We all are going to feel stuckor in a rut at some point in our
lives, at some point in ouryear, some point in our month,
right?
And so for me, I think you haveto develop a system to how you
(43:21):
get out of that rut, and itworks different for all of us,
because we're all unique, we'reall different.
For me, laying in a bed is nothelp, does not help me get out
of my rut, right, and so I haveto get up, I have to get moving,
I got to get around, you know,and so I.
That's how I pretty much dothings, but I do want to
(43:43):
acknowledge the fact that youknow it's it's it's it's a
challenge, it's, it's hard.
Out here there's opportunities,um, that are presented to
people that you feel that don'tdeserve it as much as you and
you've put in all this time andyou didn't get that promotion,
or you didn't get thatopportunity or you didn't win
over that client, and it hurts,and I think that that's, um, the
(44:05):
thing that I would uh encouragepeople to, uh especially black
men, is to acknowledge what itis, and sometimes we don't want
wanna use words like that hurt,and I think some things hurt and
it's okay to say that reallyhurt me because I thought I was
prepared.
But you know what, if it comesup, the opportunity presents
(44:27):
itself again.
I'm gonna be prepared.
So I'm gonna study why I didn'tget it and I'm gonna work
towards that, and I think thatthat's the thing.
I think we get stuck a lot oftimes because we're hurt and
then our hurt is manifestedthrough anger.
Our hurt is manifested in manyother ways, or throwing in the
towel, or pivoting before we seeit.
(44:48):
You know, one of my favoritequotes that I love hearing is
people say you know, it'scoldest at night, right before
the sun rises.
So that's, the coldest point atnight is right before the sun
is going to break through.
And so, understanding that thisis a long journey, don't give
up.
Accept the fact of where we are, as you stated, which I love.
(45:09):
You know, be blessed for theproblems you don't have.
Right, it can be worse.
Okay, as long as you'respeaking and thinking, it
definitely can be worse.
So you know, I think that youknow being stuck, and I see it
all the time.
I see it all the time and I'mfamiliar with it because I lived
it too.
So I think it's just importantwhere I'm at at this stage in my
(45:31):
life is you got to keep moving.
You got to keep moving.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Oh, thank you.
We are who, the words that wespeak and the words that we say
to ourself and the words that wesay to others.
And words matter.
And I want to move thisconversation, when we're talking
about words, into money,because money is one of those
things that we speak sometimesso poorly about our beliefs and
our values and our relationshipwith money that I think
sometimes it doesn't manifestitself in our lives.
You know, whether it's homeownership or whether it's
(46:02):
investing, or whether it's justnot understanding how money
works.
What are some of the things?
As a businessman, as somebodywho's been successful, who's
climbed the ladder, what aresome of the things that you do
around money, that you sayaround money, that is part of
your money relationship beliefsystem.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
So, for me, I'm very conservative with money.
Many people around you willtell you that that's not true,
but I believe that I'm veryconservative with money.
I'm not a flashy big spender orwhatnot, but I think it's
really with finances is really amatter of.
(46:42):
I.
I worked um at a retail store.
Uh, late in high school I wastrying to juggle a couple of
jobs actually, and I met ajanitor at the retail store and
he and he told me, he says,listen, I own multiple homes.
You know, I just do thisbecause this is what I enjoy
(47:04):
seeing people.
He's like I don't have to dothis, right.
But everybody that walked bythis individual probably said oh
, he's just a janitor, you know.
And so he taught me a veryprinciple about money at that
point.
We can complain about incomeinequality, we can complain
about all those things whichthey exist, they exist and they
(47:25):
should exist, but we also have aresponsibility when we do
receive our money, what wechoose to do with it, and I
think that that's very importantto really understand.
And so for me.
I was blessed to have met thatindividual.
I was blessed to have been inthe banking world.
So I learned about money at avery early age and then, growing
up, I learned lack of money andwhat that looked like, and so
(47:49):
my work commitment was I don'twant to be at the lack anymore.
So if I got to work 12 hours,that's what I had to do.
So you know, I think if youdon't understand money, go ask.
You know, go ask a tax person.
What should I be doing?
Is this a good investment?
You know, and I think we don'task enough questions because,
especially as men, we'reexpected to know.
We're expected, and only God isour mission right?
(48:12):
I don't know it all, but youknow he did give me the
foresight to be able to go ask aquestion and say, hey, how do
you do this?
I want to learn and I thinkwith money, we need to do a
better job as a community withthat as well.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
Yeah, when you think about the people that you ask, I
mean that's, that's importanttoo, and some of us want to go
ask the person that is the mostflashy and have what we think
you want is driving that Benzand driving the Land Rover and
living in the house and stuff ishow do we find that right
person, not only for us, butsometimes those folks that are
(48:49):
are doing good I mean, they looklike they're doing good with
money.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
They got that car locked up in that garage because
that Porsche is about to getrepoed.
So it doesn't necessarily meanthat that's what they're doing.
And I think us getting out ofthe materialistic of society and
really looking at what are weinvesting in, what am I doing
with my money that's going togive me a return in having those
conversations and I thinkmentorship to young men is so
(49:18):
vitally important.
I did it going in church.
We had the rites of passage atmy church for young men.
We had to take these classes.
You open the door for the younglady.
This is how you speak, this iswhat you do.
We had all of that and that wasa blessing because even to this
day I learned how to tie a tiein that class.
(49:39):
So I would say to the singlemothers that are out there, or
to the young men that are outthere seek those types.
They're in every city acrossAmerica.
Somebody wants to give back andI say, take that extra time to
do that, Because even to thisday I wake up in the morning,
(50:03):
I'm tying my tie.
You know, go to a meeting, Istill tie my tie as Elder.
Banks taught me how to tie mytie Right, and so that was, you
know, 35 years ago.
But I think about Elder Banksevery time I time my time, you
know, so that was important forme.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Talk to me a little bit about.
I love, love that, becausethere are places that we can go
and there are really goodmentors that are out there that
can help you understand.
But don't try to do it on yourown, folks.
Don't try to do it on your ownbecause you don't know what you
don't know and you can't justpull that out of the air.
So when I think ofhomeownership and you know,
(50:42):
right now there's this trendthat seems to be going out there
that says you don't need a home, you're better off renting,
you're better off, you know,being able to, you know, so that
gives you mobility, to be ableto move around.
It gives you, you know, densitywhere you can, you know, get to
work really quick and all thesethings Maybe as part of a more
(51:03):
money formula.
Maybe you can kind of speak toas being a banker and a real
estate person and a mortgageperson, the power of
homeownership.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Yeah.
So I've had to also evolve mythinking about homeownership too
, because we are in a differentworld and society today than
maybe we were 20 years ago, andso when I first got into the
business 25 years ago, I wouldalways say you gotta own a home
to live in, you gotta own, yougotta own.
And I still believehomeownership is paramount to
(51:33):
generational wealth and whatyou're going to pass down to
your children.
But I would say that even if youwant to have the mobility and
you want to move around and youwant to not plant your feet into
homeownership, then you shouldplant your feet into owning
property that you can lease andrent out and let that pay for
(51:53):
your luxury apartment, if that'swhat you want to do.
But you should have some typeof income flow.
So when you're asleep at nightand that house down the street
sold and now you got some moreequity because it gave you some
equity, because it was valued sohigh, that's like a second job.
And the way society has beenmoving lately in terms of the
(52:18):
cost of milk, the cost of eggsthe cost of gas is always a
situation.
Electricity and utility billsare always moving and
ever-changing.
So I think ownership allows youto build wealth while not
having to do anything about it,and I'll go back to one
particular property that I hadin Los Angeles that I was
(52:40):
selling for a client, and sothey had the property.
It was probably worth, let'sjust say, $300,000.
They sat on the property, leftit vacant for four years and
then sold the property and itwas probably worth over $500,000
at that time.
So they gained almost $200,000.
And this was probably 2012 to16, that range of timeframe but
(53:02):
they gained $200,000 doingnothing, and so they didn't rent
it.
They didn't do anything, and soobviously we have a housing
problem.
We don't need vacant properties.
We need people to rent thesehomes.
But at the same time, you seewhere I'm going in terms of
ownership.
They couldn't have got thatfrom any other part of the
business or any other job thatjust allows you to make money
(53:23):
while you sleep and don't doanything.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
And so I think it's very important for that.
Yeah, oh, and thank you forsharing that, because that does
give a perspective of you know,because I've seen folks where
they get together like maybethey were college roommates or
something, and they put fullmoney together and they go buy
an investment property eventhough they might be living in
an apartment, but they'reinvesting instead of.
You know some people I just wantto save.
(53:46):
Well, savings is a depreciatingasset, right?
Because your money is going tobe worth less next year than it
is this year if it's not beinginvested somehow.
So I love that perspectivewhere you're just saying, hey,
no, it's not, you don't have togo live in the white picket
fence house that you own, thatyou live in and grow, but you
need to own something or investin something as a result of
(54:08):
making sure that you startcreating a portfolio that's
different than just existing,because I think sometimes we're
just such consumers that we got,we want to go buy everything
and have everything, but notthat piece where there's tithing
and the piece where there'ssavings and investing.
Do you have a formula for howmuch money you should actually
(54:29):
live on compared to how muchmoney?
Speaker 1 (54:33):
And I know it's different phases at different
times in life and stuff, but ifthat's something you that you
know a mentor told you or helpedyou out with, that you would
love to share with us you know Iso I struggle on saying how
much somebody should live onright, but I will say I will say
there are a couple key thingsthat I live by right and so I
will say there are a couple ofkey things that I live by Right.
(54:56):
So if I can't, I apologize.
I can't turn this computer off,I can't If one.
Having you know, my mother, mygrandma, my, actually my aunt
I'm sorry, my aunt would alwaystell me like you need to have at
least six months of whateveryour bills are.
Right, it was just, that's justthe way it was.
You put six months to the side.
Right, that's just the way itwas.
You put six months to the sideOne of the things that I heard
(55:17):
recently from a financialplanner.
He said if you can't buy it 10times, don't buy it right, With
the exception of, maybe, the caror the house.
But other than that, if youwant to on to to your Amazon
account or whatnot, and purchase, you know whatever you're
(55:37):
buying, can you buy it 10 timesand if you can't buy it 10 times
.
maybe you don't need to buy it,you know, and I say well, you
know, 10 seems a little high,you know.
But you know, maybe I need toapply that, but I think it's a
great rule.
You know, I can't say that I'mliving by 10 times on every
purchase, but sometimes I thinkit makes sense to like start to
(55:59):
apply those things, becauseobviously everyone deals with
different income levels andwhatnot, you know, and so maybe
it's, it's, it's your objectiveis more of a business plan to
say I want to increase my income, so I'm at this job and I'm
going to be looking and growingmy skill set so I can be more
marketable and earn some moremoney in my next opportunity.
(56:20):
I think that those are equallyimportant as well.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
Thank you.
I've been really selfish inasking the questions that I want
to know, so my life can improvefrom somebody such as yourself.
But what did we not talk aboutin our last few minutes that we
have together that you wouldlove to make sure that our
audience hears, that ouraudience knows about today?
Speaker 1 (56:43):
So a couple of things I saw on one of the things that
you have spoken on many timeswas, you know, past trauma, and
I think that that's veryimportant because I'll be honest
with you.
I went through certain times inmy life where people would talk
about trauma and I'm like that'sjust an excuse, just get up and
(57:05):
do it.
And as I've gotten older andI've witnessed people go through
trauma and how it's impactedcertain things, then you start
to look at yourself a little bitmore, and I think I would
encourage all listeners men,women, black, white, anyone I
think it's very important for usto really identify what is
impacting us.
(57:25):
That's behavior, wise, that'sany of those things.
I think if you grew up in ahome where everybody was short
tempered and everybody's yellingall the time, that might not
translate very well to business,right, and so I think really
understanding those concepts arevery important and I would just
challenge you to really do adeep dive in yourself.
(57:49):
A second thing I would say islike in our community, I don't
think we utilize therapy enough.
You know, I think it's almost ataboo.
It's almost like buying lifeinsurance.
If I buy life insurance I'mgoing to die, right, and so
that's why people kind of have asubconscious thought about.
But I think therapy is like ifI go to a therapist and I'm
acknowledging I have a problem.
No, you might just need to vent, and you might need to vent to
(58:12):
somebody who's not going to leadyou down a wrong path, like,
yes, leave, quit your job, right, you might vent to somebody
who's going to be a little morelogical and is disconnected from
your situation, and so that'svery important as well, so you
know.
I think that those two thingswill help us be better.
Fathers will help us be betterfathers also help us be better
(58:36):
children, as our parents areaging.
Better business people you know, as well as better friends, and
I think that you know we canwork on ourselves.
I think you know social mediais very funny because social
media, when you go on there,everybody's telling everybody
else about them but you don'treally find too much where
people are saying you know, I'vehad to overcome this.
(58:59):
I remember growing up in thechurch I loved testimony because
testimony always taught me likeit was real, like wow, they
went through that or theirlights were cut off, oh my God.
Like I didn't know that, youknow, and it was really like it
was educational for me.
I enjoyed the testimony more sothat somebody come and pointing
a finger and saying this iswhat you better do you know, and
I think that that's veryimportant.
(59:20):
So those things you know if wekind of conclude on that note, I
definitely think those are veryimportant.
I would encourage anybody toreally take a deep dive
internally.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Yeah, well, thank you , because that is so important
and sometimes we tend to, like Isaid before, try to figure this
all out by ourselves, and thereare people out there that are
willing not only to help but canguide you through whatever it
is you're going through.
And if we lean on each other,the chances of us doing better
as a community is that muchgreater community is that much
(59:55):
greater.
And so I just said I thank youfor being part of the show today
.
I thank you for your wisdom.
I'm hoping that maybe we canyou know after, since you're
president elect now, after youbecome president, maybe we can
just come back and do a showthat's just on NARAB and what
NARAB's doing and how it'simpacting the community and all
the wonderful things that youguys do.
I guess I'm part of NARAB too,but, as the organization does to
just make lives better forthose out there and if you are a
(01:00:22):
person that enjoyed this showand you enjoyed listening to
Ashley and I go back and forththere's so many like this that
are there, people who are doingit I wish you, hope that you
would take advantage of it andso hit notifications so you know
when new ones are coming out.
Go through the library of over170, some episodes of black men
(01:00:43):
who are doing something specialin their communities and making
it happen.
And, ashley, like I said again,for you to take your time and,
you know, out of your day to beable to talk with us.
It's just been a pleasure andit's been wonderful and I can't
wait to talk to you on the nextone.
So for those of you out there,don't forget you are God's
greatest gift.
He loves you if you allow himto, and we look forward to
talking to you on the next one.
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