August 20, 2025 • 60 mins
Finding Peace in the Midst of Life's Storms – Stoic Wisdom and Practical Strategies
In this empowering session of the Breakfast Club, host Josh Valentin discusses how to find peace amidst life's inevitable challenges. Drawing inspiration from stoic philosophy, Josh shares insights from Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and the Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. He emphasizes the importance of training, mindfulness, faith, and community. The episode covers practical tips like breathing exercises, journaling, and staying grounded with one's support system. Josh also recounts a personal story of training with a Shaolin monk and the lessons learned about resilience. Tune in to discover strategies for navigating storms and emerging stronger and wiser.
00:00 Introduction to Finding Peace in the Storm
01:19 Personal Development and Stoic Philosophy
05:24 The Importance of Consistent Practice
08:37 Lessons from a Shaolin Monk
15:05 Navigating Life's Storms
25:13 Principles for Finding Peace
32:05 Faith Over Fear
34:21 Embracing Gratitude and Past Victories
36:51 Community Over Isolation
48:02 Practical Anchors for Peace
53:49 Real-Life Applications and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
today's topic is going to befinding peace in the midst of a
(00:04):
storm, finding peace in themidst of a storm.
And I was inspired to do abreakfast club session
specifically on this because forthose of you who don't know, I'm
an expert contributor for an NBCnetwork out here in my city.
And I oftentimes share differenttopics around life coaching and
personal development.
And the topic that they broughtme to speak on last week was
(00:25):
centered around finding peaceand different ways that people
around the world find peace,right when they're navigating
through different challenges.
So I feel like today a lot ofyou are gonna be able to get
value and yeah, take notes as ifyou're gonna have to teach this
to someone treat this likeyou're sitting in a lecture hall
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or you're taking a class from aprofessor.
And that's the best way thatyou're gonna get the very most
value out of the Breakfast Clubsession.
With that being said, guys let'sget ready to jump right into it.
I know we have people tuning inon different platforms, and by
the way, we also stream onplatforms like LinkedIn,
YouTube, Instagram Facebook.
(01:08):
You can catch the recording ofthe Breakfast Club and also just
hop over to the Journey podcastwherever podcasts are streamed.
Let's get this show on the road.
With that being said, all rightwe actually, the first 20 to 30
minutes, we typically sharedifferent things centered around
personal development.
(01:29):
Sometimes it's life hacks, funfacts, different personal
development shares.
Today I am going to be coveringa a snippet from the Daily Stoic
really good book on stoicphilosophy, which is definitely
one of my favorite types ofphilosophy and love learning
from the ancient stoics.
And this is a really good bookby Ryan Holiday, which is Ryan
(01:53):
is one of the foremost thoughtleaders on stoic philosophy.
So he has a lot of great contenton that.
And let's jump into it.
The share for this book is goingto be how you do anything is how
you do everything.
One of my favorite quotes.
And basically it says, payattention to what's in front of
you, the principle, the task, orwhat's being portrayed.
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And this is from Marcus Aureliusfrom his book Meditations.
Now, if you've never readmeditations by Marcus Aurelius
was an emperor in Rome.
And he actually lived and walkedon this planet.
And during his time as anemperor, he actually journaled
king David in the Bible.
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And he journaled about what hewas going through and he shared
a lot of wisdom on stoicphilosophy.
So the book meditations are alot of his journal entries,
which is pretty cool.
And he lived a very interestinglife.
During those times it wasabsolutely brutal.
But but a really great read ifyou've never checked it out.
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So Marcus Aurelius is consideredas like one of the great stoics.
You have other stoics,philosophers like Epictetus and
Seneca, but really great read.
Now it's fun to think about thefuture.
It's easy to ruminate on thepast.
It's harder to put that energyinto what's in front of us right
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at this moment, especially ifit's something we don't want to
do.
We think this is just the job.
It isn't who I am.
It doesn't matter, but it does.
Who knows?
It might be the last thing youever do.
Here lies Dave buried aliveunder a mountain of unfinished
business.
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There is an old saying, how youdo anything is how you do
everything.
It's true.
How you handle today is howyou'll handle every day.
How you handle this minute ishow you'll handle.
Every minute.
And I always gotta remind myselfof that.
It's important no matter what itis that you do, it's always
gonna be important to nothalf-ass.
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Like whatever it is that you do,to do everything with at your
very best.
Because the macro is a directreflection of the micro.
Typically, your outer world isgonna be a direction, a direct
reflection of your inner world.
And this is a big reason.
If you guys jump on my BreakfastClub sessions, and I oftentimes
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talk about just getting yourhousehold in order.
Whenever you're in a space ofyour, in, in your life or a
season in your life where you'relooking to get back on track,
get your household in order,right?
Clean your space.
And a cluttered mine is acluttered a cluttered home is a
cluttered mine is a clutteredlife.
And that's typically one of thevery first places that I start,
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is just like my inner world,right?
Like your home is just oneaspect, but it's also getting
your mind getting your bodygetting in tune, spiritually,
emotionally, physically,mentally, all of that good
stuff.
And you'll notice a significantdifference.
And it's important to treat thelittle things right?
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The little nuances, the littlethings that seem mundane and to
treat them with care becauseyou're, again, your outer world
is always gonna be a directreflection of your inner world.
That may seem minuscule at themoment, but when you treat these
things with care and you goabout them with excellence
you'll see a direct reflectionin a lot of other areas of your
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life.
Okay, so here's another sharefrom the daily stoic.
Learn, practice, train.
That's why the philosophers warnus not to be satisfied with mere
learning, but to add practiceand then training for as time
passes.
We forget that we learned andend up doing the opposite and
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hold opinions the opposite ofwhat we should Epictetus.
And this is from his bookDiscourses.
And a lot of the times, like Inoticed the ancients they're not
necessarily books, but they'relike journal entries.
They're notes that have been.
Translated or converted intobooks.
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It's like the Bible, right?
The Bible isn't necessarily abook, it is a library of many
different books.
And those books are historicaldocuments, right?
They're just words from greatprophets and prophecies and all
kinds of stuff that are inactual scripture.
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But it's not like one solidbook, per se.
It's many different books, over40 books that are in scripture.
And they were written over thecourse of a thousand years or
so, right?
So that's the fascinating thinga about it.
And a lot of these ancientauthors, it's like the same
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thing.
You'll see just fragments ofmany of their teachings.
And then it was essentially putinto a book.
So this page continues.
Very few people can simply watchan instructional video or hear
something explained and thenknow backward and forward how to
do it.
Most of us actually have to dosomething several times in order
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to truly learn.
One of the hallmarks of themartial arts, military training
and athletic training of almostany kind is the hours upon hours
of monotonous practice.
An athlete at the highest levelwill train for years to perform
movements that can last mereseconds or less.
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The two minute drill, how toescape from a choke hold, the
perfect jumper simply knowingisn't enough.
It must be absorbed into themuscles and the body.
It must become part of us, or werisk losing it.
The second that we experiencestress or difficulty.
It is true with philosophicalprinciples as well.
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You can't just hear somethingonce and expect to rely on it
when the world is crashing downaround us.
Remember, Marcus Aurelius wasn'twriting his meditations for
other people.
He was actively meditating forhimself, even as a successful,
wise and experienced man he wasuntil the last days of his life
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practicing and training himselfto do the right thing like a
black belt.
He was still showing up to thedojo every day to roll like a
professional athlete.
He still showed up to practiceeach week, even though other
players thought it wa it wasunnecessary.
So many of you who followed mywork over the years I spent some
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time training with a shallshalin monk, a 36 generation
warrior Shalin monk, actuallytrained kung fu Tai Chi Qigong
with this monk.
Lived with him and a bunch ofother of his students, and got
to train with him.
And a lot of the training thatwe did were essentially the same
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moves over and over and overagain.
And throughout the course ofyour life, if you wanna master
anything, that's essentiallywhat it looks like.
They say you get praised inpublic for what you do in
private and oftentimes.
What you're doing in privateisn't so glorious typically.
Like it looks glorious whenpeople win and you see the
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finished product.
But the foundation, the processwhere you're actually doing the
practice, doing the training,it's not so glorious.
It's the same moves over andover.
Wax on, wax off, wax on, waxoff.
And it's interesting, I rememberhearing this story of this great
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warrior monk, and he had manydisciples.
And I remember and I shared thisstory from time to time, but I
remember hearing that there wasa group of his disciples, one
time training and they weretraining specifically in
archery.
One of the disciples were likevery talented, like super
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gifted.
And it was amazing because outof all the different disciples
that were working under thismonk this one student really
stood out, but he started to geta bit cocky and arrogant.
He started to get full.
He was getting full of himself.
And one day the monk takes thegroup of disciples out to this
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great mountain and up this greatmountain.
They spend hours and hoursclimbing this mountain.
And they finally get to likethis this high part of the
mountain with this crevice thatdropped down like hundreds of
feet and there was a tree thatactually was like a natural
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bridge in between this gap,right?
The monk walks on the tree, andit was this massive tree that,
that was like a bridge there.
And the monk basically walks tothe middle of the tree.
Now imagine that there was adrop below hundreds of feet.
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And then he starts telling thedisciples that they were gonna
have to walk across and theythought he was crazy.
Just even him walking there,right?
Walking across the tree.
It was just like, wow.
That's super intimidating.
There's no way in the world I'mgonna walk over that tree.
So he goes and calls out thecocky disciple, and he tells him
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to come walk to him like in themiddle of the tree.
The arrogant disciple was justlike, you know what?
Like he his pride was shot alittle bit and all of the other
disciples were like laughing athim.
So he mu up the courage to walkto the tree and he looks below
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and sees this drop.
So then he starts crawling,right?
He doesn't have the ability tojust walk like the shalin monk.
And he's crawling on the tree,barely inching forward, scared
out of his mind, right?
And then the monk tells thedisciple to stand up in the
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middle, right?
Remember there's a drop belowand he tells him to pull out his
bow and arrow and to shoot thisother tree that was like really
far in the distance, over ahundred feet away.
So the.
The shallen monk takes an arrowand shoots exactly where he
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wants the disciple to shoot.
And the disciple, essentiallywhat he tells him I want you to
shoot that arrow.
Shoot exactly where it is.
And the disciple like, is soscared that he picks up the bow
and arrow and he's trembling andhe pulls back the arrow and he's
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like barely opening up his eyesand shoots in that direction.
And he misses it by a hundredfeet.
Like he had, he was nowhere nearwhere he was supposed to shoot
his target.
And he was trembling and scaredand all of the other disciples
were laughing at him, and thenthe master takes out another
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arrow and stands up right in themiddle of this tree and shoots
the original arrow and splits.
The original arrow that he shotsplits it in half, right?
And then he tells the studenttry again.
And he pulls back his arrow andhe's so scared and terrified at
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falling that he ends up likejust not being able to hit the
target.
And what the master told thedisciple in that moment is that
no matter how talented andgifted you are, right?
No matter how much you train,that training means nothing if
you can't use it in your momentsof fear.
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That training, that personaldevelopment, all of that stuff
that you learn means nothing ifyou can't use it when you need
it the most.
And that's the thing is thatthere's a saying in the military
that you want to, the more yousweat in times of peace, the
less you bleed in times of war.
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It always is important to, againstay ready so you don't have to
get ready.
And there's another saying thatI love that it's much better to
be a warrior in a garden than agardener in a war, right?
And that's why the personaldevelopment is so important.
That's why the training is soimportant, because when you're
in the midst of a storm, you'regoing to need something to keep
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you anchored.
You're gonna need an anchor togo back to.
So the storm doesn't knock youoff track.
You're gonna need something tocount on something solid that
you can fall back on.
And one of the things that I'velearned that has become my
anchor is to trust my training.
Trust my training.
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You do all the personaldevelopment, you develop
yourself and you read the books,you listen to the audios.
You hop on the breakfast clubyou go on the podcast, all of
these different things.
You invest in the seminars.
It's for the storms.
The more you sweat in times ofpeace, the less you bleed in
times of war.
So you are really fortifyingyour mind, your emotions, your
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knowledge, your experience, allof these different things so
that you can properly navigatethrough the storms of life.
That's what you're training for.
Because the one thing about lifeis that storms are inevitable.
There's absolutely nothing youcan do to avoid the storms, like
storms happen to all of us.
But how do you find peace in themidst of the storm?
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How do you calm your nervoussystem?
How do you cultivate your faithso that your faith also becomes
an anchor?
Not just your training, right?
But your faith, yourperspective, all of these
different things.
Your self care, right?
So that you can properlynavigate through the storm.
And the beautiful thing aboutstorms is that they have an
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interesting way of humbling you.
Also building you up in a majorway, making you stronger, making
you more resilient, making youwiser, making you more
compassionate and empathetic,giving you some something that
allows you to appreciate yourjourney even more.
The storms are actually likeblessings in disguise in a
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sense.
And they also don't last, theydon't last.
The very nature of a storm isthat they eventually fade away
and you will get through.
The question is, how do younavigate through the storm?
How do you find peace in themidst of the storm?
And that's what we're gonna becovering here today on this
Breakfast Club session.
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Let's get this party started.
Life has a way of throwingstorms at us.
Some are small, like unexpectedbills or work stress.
Others are life changing, likelosing a job, health battles,
broken relationships, and grief.
That's the thing about life isthat the storms they take, they,
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they take many different forms.
Sometimes it's gonna be afinancial storm, sometimes it's
gonna be your personal health,or you go through a breakup or a
divorce or something like that.
And the thing about it is youcan have something to keep you
anchored, keep you groundedwhenever you are going through
these things.
Okay.
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One thing about about my journeyis that I've encountered a lot
of storms, right?
I I'm a father of threechildren.
I lead a community, I'm a serialentrepreneur.
And one of the storms thatalways pop up in
entrepreneurship are likedifferent challenges, financial
storms, you go throughchallenges in business.
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Sometimes businesses arethriving, and then other times
you're getting rocked bybusiness.
So how do you when shit hits thefan how do you really get
yourself anchored?
And that's what I'm reallyexcited to cover.
And I think that the analogy ofstorms are quite appropriate.
I actually I was thinking aboutlike this talk here today about
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storms and the fact that Iworked at, I worked as a
maritime captain for quite sometime.
I actually went to a militarycollege and got my Coast Guard
license to operate ships andworked as a merchant marine
piloting cargo as a merchant,marine captain, licensed captain
by the Coast Guard.
And actually still actively keepit keep my license active.
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So the reason why I bring thatup is because there have been
times where I've been out at seaand legit, almost lost my life
out at sea because of storms.
And the one thing that we'vealways learned to do when the
storms hit is to trust yourtraining.
So there's certain protocol thatyou take whenever you're in the
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middle of a storm, and forexample, on the main deck of the
boat, whenever you're on a boat,like you have to they say you
dog the hatches, right?
So all of the doors on the maindeck, you have to make sure
they're closed because the thingabout storms is that ships don't
sink because of the water aroundthe ship, ships and boats sink
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because of the water that getsin the boat or the ship.
So it's the same with life.
It's like we're always going tobe navigating through this vast
ocean of life, and you're notgoing to crumble because of the
vast ocean.
You're going to crumble if youallow the water to get within
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you.
And the water being symbolic forwhatever life's obstacles are.
You have to make sure that youcan still maneuver through those
storms and not allow the waterto get in and sink you.
So there's certain protocol, andthat's why it's important to
trust your training.
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When you're out in, in, in astorm you have certain
protocols, certain things thatyou do so that you can properly
navigate through them, likedogging the hatchets, right?
Making sure that everything issecure on deck, everything is
secure in inside that vessel,okay?
And when it comes to life, it'slike when you're encountering a
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storm what are certain thingsthat you can do to properly
navigate?
And that's what a lot of whatwe're gonna be covering here
today.
Okay?
So here we go.
Now today I want you guys towalk with.
Or walk with you through how tofind peace, not after the storm
is over, but in the very middleof it.
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Because peace isn't found incalm waters.
It's built in chaos, okay?
It's built in chaos.
Now, part one of what we'regonna be covering is
understanding the nature ofstorms.
Okay?
So again, take notes as ifyou're gonna have to teach this.
All right?
As I always share, the weakestink is stronger than the
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strongest memory.
So take notes because the vastmajority of this stuff, you will
forget.
Now, the very first aspect ofthe nature of a storm is storms
are inevitable.
Nobody escapes from storms,okay?
And it could be success, money,health storms do not
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discriminate.
And it's always important toremember that storms do not
discriminate.
They will take many differentforms.
Another aspect of storms, as Imentioned earlier, is that
storms are temporary.
So even the worst hurricaneeventually passes that
perspective shifts how weexperience them.
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I remember sitting through inThe Bahamas, we got rocked with
a category five, I think it washurricane Matthew, if I'm not
mistaken, a couple years ago.
And man, it, it was brutal.
It was brutal.
I remember one of thehurricanes, one of our shipmates
from college actually lost hislife with his children, right?
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And storms.
Storms can be very unforgivingand it was just like very
unfortunate.
But the thing about it is asmuch damage that the storm did.
Eventually you find your wayback and you do damage control,
but you also, you recover andyou clean up what needs to be
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cleaned up.
The storm will subside no matterhow big, whether it's a category
one or category five, it willsubside.
Okay.
Another aspect of storms arethat storms reveal character.
Just like pressure revealscracks in a foundation, storms
expose what we're leaning on.
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Okay?
And that's the good thing aboutstorms is that storms reveal a
lot about yourself, reveal a lotabout the people you're doing
life with.
You'll find out real quick who'sreally down for you and who's
not, when times are reallytough.
So it's a truth telling seasonWhenever you're going through
storms, now ask yourself, whatdo you anchor to?
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Because if your peace depends oncircumstances, you'll always be
at the mercy of life.
If your peace.
Relies on circumstances you'llalways be at the mercy of life.
Your peace has to be insomething greater, okay?
Because there's always going tobe something happening.
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In fact, I'm a firm believerthat we always say that there's
3, 3, 3 seasons.
You're in life.
You're either in a storm or youjust got out of a storm, or
you're getting ready to go intoa storm, and that's just the way
the world works, right?
You may be getting out of afinancial storm in one season,
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and now you're in a relationshipstorm or getting out of a
relationship storm, and nowyou're in a health storm.
Or maybe it's calm, right?
And that's the case.
But understand that at somepoint in time, you will end up
back in a storm.
Okay?
So remember, water outside won'tsink aship.
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It's only when it gets inside.
It's always gonna be the samewith us.
Peace comes from what we allowinside.
Next up, we have principles forfinding peace.
Okay?
The first is the perspectiveover problems.
Having perspective over theproblems that you're currently
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facing.
So what you wanna do is shiftfrom why is this happening?
To what can I learn from this?
Why is this happening?
To, what can I learn from this?
Every setback, every obstaclecan be a great teacher.
And imagine if you approach yourchallenges like that.
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That's how you end up wiser iswhen you look for the treasure
and the trash, when you look forthe inspiring message in that
mess you're currently in.
Okay?
So an example would be a failedbusiness deal might actually
read direct you to betteropportunity.
A failed business.
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They like I remember when mybusiness the business that I was
associated with during COVID endup going bankrupt, right?
A business that I had been apart of for years.
But, you know what, if that hadnot happened, there probably
would be no Journey podcast.
There probably would be no DreamNation media.
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My, my recent company that welaunched back in October in 60
plus countries worldwide, we,that would've never have
happened there.
There's so many blessings thatcame out of it.
I probably would not be livingwhere I'm living today because
the people that encouraged me toeven move out to my city legit,
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like these were people that Igot closer to after that storm.
So it, it's just interesting howlife works in that way, and
that's why one of the bestthings to anchor yourself with
is that.
You, you can very well justtrust the process.
Trust the process that God isworking out.
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Whatever you're going throughfor something greater, right?
There's something happening,something cultivating, there's a
germination process in thatstorm that you're in.
And you if you stay diligent andyou extract the good out of it
you typically end up better.
Okay?
So super important tounderstand, and here's a great
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quote.
Pain that isn't transformed istransmitted.
Pain that isn't transformed istransmitted.
You wanna channel that pain anduse it for something that's
actually constructive.
Next is presence over panic.
Presence over panic.
So panic beco panic comes fromfocusing on the future,
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imagining worst case scenarios.
That's when you have anxiety,when you have overwhelm.
There's a saying that fear is anacronym for false expectations
appearing real.
90% of the things that we worryabout, isn't it true that they
typically don't happen?
Over 90% of the things that weworry about don't happen, and we
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waste all this time, all of thisemotional bandwidth that is
being wasted on worrying onthings that never even happen.
So that's why you have to takeback control over your mind,
okay?
And peace also comes from beingfully present in this moment.
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Because if you don't have peace,chances are you're worried about
the future.
Sometimes people are havinganxiety because of the past,
right?
So you have to continue to moveforward.
No stinking thinking.
That's the idea.
Now, there are certain thingsthat you can do to calm your
nervous system, becausetypically what's happening is
when you're experiencing panic.
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Typically you're experiencingpanic because your nervous
system is compromised, your bodyis signaling that it's in
danger.
And when that sympatheticnervous system kicks in, your
body is either fight, flight, orfreeze.
How many of you can relate tothat where you're so
debilitated, like you're eithergonna go hard and fight your way
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through the problems, andsometimes you don't even have it
in you to fight and you're moreso freezing or just running
altogether away from theproblems.
You, you have what they call theostrich effect that takes over
you.
The ostrich effect is when anostrich is in great danger,
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typically what it does is itburies its head in the sand like
that.
That's its strategy for goingagainst its predators, right?
It buries its head in the sand.
And a lot of us tend to do thatin life.
When things get reallydifficult, like we don't take on
these challenges head on,sometimes we don't even run.
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We just freeze.
We put our heads in the sand anddon't do anything.
But one thing that I can tellyou is sometimes that is not the
best approach.
You have to do what you can tofigure your situation out.
Sometimes you just have to calmyour nervous system, and there's
a lot of effective ways that youcan do that.
So the other week I spoke aboutthe tapping method.
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Really great, a tool andstrategy for calming down your
nervous system.
I oftentimes talk aboutbreathing techniques like box
breathing, for example.
So the tapping method is tappingon specific meridians in your
body.
And this comes from the world ofChinese acupuncture.
There's certain meridians in thebody that if you just tap on
them lightly.
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There, there are about nine thatI know about.
You have right here by thathands width underneath your
armpit, you have on the side ofyour hand, you can just tap on
it for a few seconds.
You have right here by your thebrim of your eyebrow on the
side, underneath your eyes,underneath your nose, underneath
your lip, right on yourcollarbone and on the top of
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your head, just lightly tappingon them.
And it's a really great tool forjust calming your nervous
system.
Give it a shot like GoogleTapping Method.
There's also apps for it, butit's a really great strategy
just to calm yourself down.
Sometimes it's just breathing,deep breathing.
And I like box breathing.
Very simple, straight to thepoint.
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You inhale for about fourseconds.
Hold your breath for fourseconds, exhale for four
seconds, and hold your breath onempty lungs for four seconds,
and you do it four times, right?
Very simple.
But this is also a really greattool for calming your nervous
system.
Okay.
If you guys are getting value sofar, drop a v in the comments.
(31:57):
I wanna make sure that you areall with me.
Drop a V for value.
All right, let's keep this showon the road.
Next up we have faith over fear.
Okay, faith over fear.
Fear multiplies in storms, butfaith stabilizes.
Okay, so fear mobilizes.
(32:20):
Fear multiplies, right?
It grows in, in the midst of astorm.
So if you allow fear to seep in,it will eventually grow.
It'll make the storm even worse.
But when you have faith willallow you to stabilize, right?
(32:40):
The storm, and it's again, it'slike.
When you trust your training,you drop the anchor in the
middle of the storm.
Depending on the storm,sometimes it's most effective to
not push forward, but drop theanchor and point the vessel in
the direction of where the wavesare coming, right?
Your training will tell you,don't allow those storms to hit
(33:02):
you broadside and capsize yourship.
And the reason why I bring thatup is because sometimes in life
you have to recalibrate.
You have to ground yourself.
You have to say, okay, what'sgoing on here?
What am I missing?
Am I doing something wrong?
Do I need to grow my faith whereI'm at right now?
(33:23):
Sometimes.
Sometimes being still is themost effective approach.
Sometimes surrender is the mosteffective approach.
Not all the time, but sometimesit is.
Sometimes when you've exhaustedall of your options, all you've
got is your faith.
All you've got is yoursurrender.
But part of your anchor shouldalways be doing all that you can
(33:46):
do.
And that's why I cover a lot ofstoic philosophy in my teachings
because stoicism is all aboutcultivating the courage to
change what you can andaccepting what you can't control
and being okay with that.
And that's where faith kicks inwhen you're at that point where
(34:08):
if all you've got is surrender,having the faith that something
is going to really end upleading to that situation, being
a blessing, that God is going totake care of the rest.
Okay, so faith over fear nowthere's things that help when
(34:29):
you are going through thesestorms.
Again, having those anchors.
So gratitude is another one,right?
Gratitude is another one, butsometimes.
You've gotta remind yourself whothe hell you are.
You gotta remind yourself ofthings that you've overcome.
So it is important sometimes torevisit past victories, revisit
(34:51):
times you've overcome storms inthe past and remind yourself
that you've survived a hundredpercent of your hardest days so
far.
You've survived all of them,right?
You and remind yourself there.
There's a I remember hearingthis story of the enemy getting
(35:11):
into this warrior's ear.
And this warrior was this one ofthe greatest warriors of all
time.
And the, and the story talksabout the enemy seeping in his
ear saying that you won't beable to get through this storm.
And the warrior whispered backto the enemy.
I am the storm.
(35:34):
I am the storm.
That's attitude.
That's reminding yourself ofyour greatness, not allowing
that inner voice to consume you,that voice that's trying to
devour you, not allowing it todevour you because you serve a
greater God, right?
You have to take back controlover your power and remind
(35:56):
yourself of your power.
Remind yourself of yourgreatness.
Remind yourself of those pastvictories.
Remind yourself that you're awinner, that you're a champion,
that you came into this worldborn a winner, right?
We all did.
You don't come into this worldwithout being a winner.
It's actually a prerequisite forbeing a human being, because
(36:18):
they're about a half a billionsperm cell that were going for
that one egg, and you just sohappen to be the one that, that,
that survived and made it right.
So every single person, it isour human nature, right?
To be born a winner.
We all won the first race oflife.
And throughout your entire life,you're constantly going to go
(36:42):
through these different stormsand you have survived a hundred
percent of everything thatyou've gone through.
And we need those reminders fromtime to time.
Next, we have community overisolation.
Storms push us to isolate, butisolation, magnifies fear.
(37:04):
I had saw a I heard in a podcastthe other day from a health
expert, and you guys are morethan welcome to look up the
research on it, but one of thethings that this health expert
mentioned is that isolation canbe even more detrimental to your
health than alcohol, like legitpeople.
Think about COVID.
(37:24):
How many people were drasticallyaffected during COVID because of
the isolation.
Isolation will really debilitateyou, and in fact.
On my TV segment this past week,one of the things that I spoke
about is in Spain.
When I went to Spain the otherweek, I was out in Barcelona.
And I learned a lot aboutSpanish culture.
(37:46):
And what I learned also is thatSpain is ranked as one of the
healthiest nations in the world,and they're one of the
healthiest nations in the world.
Not necessarily just because oftheir Mediterranean diet or
anything like that.
They're or even they have healthprograms in terms of Medicare
(38:11):
not Medicare, but goodhealthcare systems.
But a big contributor to thewellbeing of people in Spain are
their lifestyle, their, the waytheir lifestyle is designed.
So Spain has two things in theirlifestyle that's embedded in
their culture.
They have what you call asiesta, and they have what you
(38:35):
call a esa.
Now a siesta is during theafternoon times in Spain,
everything shuts down likearound two o'clock from two to
five, like legit, the streetsget empty.
A lot of businesses shut downand people are like, if you're a
tourist, you're like, where thehell did everybody go?
(38:56):
And that's because in Spain,they have rest and relaxation
during the middle of the day,and they have these csta.
Remember, our bodies weren'treally designed for the nine to
five system.
You have a circadian rhythm andyou have a specific way your
body is designed and many oflike what it's like to eat lunch
(39:19):
and then feel super tired.
You get lethargic, right?
You don't really have anymotivation after lunch.
And in Spain, they actually.
Have about a three hour break todo whatever the hell they want.
It can be going for a walk withfriends, it can be taking a nap,
right?
But rest is a big part of theculture.
(39:41):
And when you think about it, forus here on the other side of the
pond, in the Americas likehustle culture is a big part of
the way that we live.
It's all about grinding.
It's all about maximizing thehours and efficiency, right?
And Spanish, just the completeopposite.
They also have the, where theidea is that for most of us in
(40:04):
the states, we eat atrestaurants for an hour to two
hours, and then that waiter isbringing that bill or bringing
the check and you know it's timeto go, right?
They're trying to give you thesignal like, Hey, we got some
more people that we want to fillup these seats with.
Now in Spain, the idea of theESSA is once you eat, then you
(40:26):
start the process of.
Having conversation with yourloved ones, having conversation
with family and friends forhours, sometimes, like it's very
common to sit at a restauranttable for five hours in Spain.
No joke.
And the reason why I bring thatup is because it fosters social
(40:46):
bonding.
It fosters people being able totalk about different things that
they're going through in life.
And the beautiful thing aboutbonding with family and friends
is you have the oxytocinbenefits.
Oxytocin is the hormone in yourbody.
It's the love hormone.
It's what makes you feel thosewarm and fuzzy feelings, and
that is deeply embedded in theirculture.
(41:09):
And that's a great contributorto why they're such a healthy
society.
So why do we bring this up?
Is because the idea should becommunity over isolation.
When you're going through astorm, get plugged into your
community, tap with your tribe.
Every Sunday, I just shuteverything down and we go to
(41:30):
church, we hang out with ourfamily, with our friends.
We're getting together.
And my wife and I, we've beenmore intentional about just
sitting down with our kids fordinner.
No technology, no phones, noneof that sitting down just to
have conversations.
And it's funny, my kids, they,we played this game what is it
called?
You have to, I spy it's like Ispy something red and we have to
(41:55):
look around the room and findout like what's that specific
color, right?
But we'll have different gameslike that, right?
Or never have I ever, likethings that we talk about.
We talk about just their whatthey have going on, things that
they wanna do, and funny stuff.
And and the reason why that's soimportant is because again
(42:19):
you're stabilizing your nervoussystem.
You have the oxytocin benefits.
It's you're able to express youremotions, whatever it's you're
going through, and it truly doeshelp navigating through storms
do not suffer in silence.
People are out there livinglives of quiet desperation with
(42:40):
no one to talk to.
It's crazy.
We have over 8 billion people onthis planet and all of this
technology to keep us connected,but never have human beings been
as lonely as they are throughoutthe entire humanity.
Isn't that something?
We have all this technology tokeep us close, keep us bonded
(43:02):
together, but humans aredesperately alone.
So it is important to build yourtribe, build your community.
Your community is a part of yourhealth.
Don't think of community assomething that's separate from
your fitness, separate from youroverall health.
(43:22):
Your community plays a majorcontributing factor in, in your
overall wellbeing.
So spend time nurturing thatcommunity because when your cup
is depleted, your community willbe there to fill your cup and
pick a community that's actuallypositive.
And they don't talk about justnegative stuff all the time.
(43:45):
They're not sitting theregossiping about other people.
Get a community or get into acommunity of people who are
actually very supportive andthey talk about dreams, goals,
and aspirations.
And not just, they're talkingabout toxic shit, right?
Or talk, talking about thingsthat aren't positive, aren't
helpful, super important.
(44:06):
Okay.
Now leaning on friends, mentors,coaches, or even just supportive
online communities can go reallyfar.
Okay, get a part.
If you don't have a communitydirectly, like in your
neighborhood, find onlinecommunities.
That's what the Breakfast Clubis.
People hop on every single week,and it's a community.
(44:26):
Sometimes we travel together.
Sometimes you guys will see meat business conventions.
Like we have our Creatorsconference coming up in the
fall.
Many of you guys will be there,right?
And if you want information onthat DM me creators conference,
I'll be more than happy to sendyou information.
You can actually hop over todoug creators conference.com and
find information on it.
But we foster and curate theseexperiences so that we can all
(44:51):
get together because it's notalways about high tech.
It's high touch, right?
It's getting belly to belly withyour community.
Okay.
And I always I love doingcomplimentary coaching sessions
for our community.
It's one of my way of servingthis community.
And by the way, if you haven'tdone a complimentary coaching
session with me in the past justDM me the word coach.
(45:13):
I open up a certain amount ofslots every single week.
For complimentary coachingsessions for this community, or
if it's been over six monthssince you've last spoken with
me.
And maybe you just need someoneto talk to.
You need someone to be able tovent and express yourself.
And maybe you need some clarityon this specific season.
Just DM me the word coach.
I'd be more than happy to touchbase with you.
(45:35):
And this has been one of mygreatest contributions to this
community has been just offeringthese complimentary coaching
sessions because I get itsometimes it's expensive for
someone to be able to affordespecially when life is life and
then Bills a billing.
It's tough for people to be ableto invest in masterminds and
(45:56):
seminars and coaches and all ofthat.
I always just love being ablessing and this is what has
blessed my life, honestly.
I'm a firm believer in that.
One of the things that come tomind is when I've been at my
lowest I have some of my closestfriends.
(46:16):
I've been able to be vulnerablewith, and you wanna be able
specialist, especially US men,we have to find somebody that,
that is a safe space for us tobe vulnerable with.
And sometimes not all peopleare, it's not good to be
vulnerable with anybody.
'cause some people like they,they'll be quick to tell your
business right quick to put yourstuff on blast.
(46:38):
And my recommendation is ifsomeone gossips a lot about
other people, that's not yourperson.
That's not your go-to person totalk about your problems and be
vulnerable with, because who youthink they're talking about when
you're not around?
Like they're probably talkingabout you.
So be very mindful of that.
(47:00):
You don't wanna be like tooopen, too vulnerable all the
time with people who aregossipers.
Unless you're cool with themtelling your business, right?
That's something that you alwayshave to be mindful of.
So I know one of the people thatcome to mind is my best friend,
my suit and I got, I have ahandful of best friends that I
(47:20):
can go to and just talk aboutanything in life.
Like my boy, Darryl, he he's outin Louisiana and I always talk
to him about different aspectsof life, different things that
we go through as men, right?
My boy Masu when we're workingout in the gym, we're talking
about business challenges andeverything.
And one thing that I've learnedis I always feel better after a
(47:44):
really good conversation.
Sometimes you're in a space inyour life where you can't feel
from that empty cup that youhave to fill your cup.
And having community, havingpeople that you can count on
that's one of the best ways youcan fill your cup in life.
Okay, so next we have practicalanchors for peace, practical
(48:08):
anchors for peace.
Here we go.
Next we have breathing andstillness.
So I'm big on meditation.
I meditate every single day.
Meditation is a big part of mylife.
And I remember years ago it wasvery difficult for me to
meditate because in easterntradition they refer to it as
monkey mind.
(48:28):
So for me, prayer, meditation,like they, they go hand in hand.
So I look at prayer, speaking toGod.
Meditation is listening to God.
And meditation is always just agreat way for me to calm my
nervous system, for me to get intune spiritually.
I actually have a meditationcushion, like in my closet that
I go to.
(48:49):
It's one of the best things forself-care, I can assure you that
right now.
Now, if you find meditation abit challenging for you my
recommendation is you could evenhave guided meditations.
There's like mindfulnessmeditations where you can just
take deep breaths and havesomeone like guide you.
And I actually like playing thesounds of nature.
(49:12):
So there's playlist on applemusic, and I'm sure you could
find that on YouTube.
Just different sounds in natureand it definitely is like very
soothing for me.
I used to play different times.
So Solfeggio frequencies, whichare these frequencies or these
sounds that are really amazingas well that help calm your
(49:33):
nervous system, but differentthings that you can do to help
assist you on your journey ofmeditation.
But remember, breathing andstillness are definitely great
forms of.
Great anchors for peace, okay?
And you could have whether it'sa short breathing exercise or a
tapping method, all of thesethings definitely help.
(49:55):
Secondly is journal journalingand reflection journaling.
I always talk about journaling.
I'm a huge proponent forjournaling.
Even if it's on your phone, ifyou find that getting a paper
and pen is just adding one morestep to the process and you're
not do whatever, whateverencourages you to journal more,
just take that approach.
So me writing it on my phonenotepad is way more effective
(50:19):
for me than actually taking apen and pat, and it helps
tremendously getting yourthoughts written down.
Now, preferably it's alwaysgonna be better, to do pen and
paper, but at a minimum, ifyou're just not getting around
to the pen and paper, at leasttry it on your phone, okay?
And remember, writing clears thestorm inside your.
(50:41):
It just helps you feel as if youhave more control over the
storm.
Okay.
Sometimes just laying out a goodgame plan.
Sometimes that anxiety is justcoming from confusion, it's
coming from overwhelm.
It just seems like you're beinginundated with all of these
different obstacles and youdon't know where to go.
Okay.
Next we have number three focuson controllables.
(51:05):
And this is again, goes back tothe idea of stoicism, focusing
on what you can control.
So the idea is to list threethings that you can do today and
release what's out of yourhands.
So three things, whether that's,let's just say you have to call
(51:25):
the IRS.
That may be the one thing thathas been a burden for you.
Or maybe you have to call yourinsurance, or maybe you have to
reach out to that prospect orwhatever.
It's, but list three things thatyou can actually do today, and I
always refer to it as your threeto thrive or your big three,
right?
Have three top priorities thatif you don't accomplish anything
(51:48):
for the day, but those three,then you know that the day was a
win.
Okay?
But focus on the controllables.
What's within the parameters ofyour control?
Number four is spiritualpractices.
Okay?
So that could be prayer,meditation, affirmations,
scripture, gratitude.
Gratitude is a big one, right?
(52:10):
But what do you do?
What are your spiritualpractices?
It may be going to whether it'sa church, synagogue, MAs,
temple, whatever it is, but havesome type of spiritual practice
as an anchor.
Number five is movement andenvironment.
This is a big one.
I oftentimes share on thebreakfast club that I walk about
three miles a day right aroundmy neighborhood because walking,
(52:34):
getting out in the sun, not onlydo you get the vitamin D
benefits from the sun, but alsothe serotonin benefits from
sunlight.
So serotonin is a moodstabilizer.
It's the hormone that makes youfeel good, and that's one of the
biggest benefits of walkingoutside, getting around nature.
Allow nature to heal you andrestore you.
(52:56):
Okay?
Change your scenery.
Remember, nature calms storms inthe mind, okay?
It helps you be more present.
Number six is lean on yourpeople.
So call someone you trust.
Sometimes hearing a differentvoice is the breakthrough.
I know some of my friends theygave me one piece of
(53:18):
encouragement and it shifted myperspective.
And this happens all the time.
Just a great conversation willlead to a different perspective.
That helps.
Okay?
There's so many different thingsthat you can do this week.
Whatever storm you're navigatingthrough, whether again, it's
financial, whether it's yourrelationship, whether it's your
(53:39):
health, okay?
There, there are certain thingsthat you can do to get yourself
anchored, right?
Get your perspective back, allof these different things, okay?
And part four of this is justreal life applications, right?
So for example, you may be anentrepreneur and you're having
the stress of uncertainty.
(54:00):
You may have had a failedbusiness, you may be going
through a financial storm, andyou're anchor for entrepre.
Can specifically be focusing onthe controllables and trusting
the process, having faith,right?
That could perhaps be youranchor for those of you who are
entrepreneurs, just focusing onwhat you can control, okay?
(54:23):
Now, if it's family orrelationships, you may have
misunderstandings.
Maybe you haven't heard fromyour children in a while, right?
There's distance or conflict,and perhaps your anchor can be
presence and communication.
Reaching out to that familymember, just being more patient
and considerate and empathetic,right?
(54:45):
Working on the communication,maybe forgiveness, right?
Maybe just apologizing for 1, 1,1 mistake that you made, but
there's so many different waysyou can go about having that
anchor during relational storms.
Maybe your storm might bepersonal help or inner battle.
Sometimes it's your mentalhealth.
(55:07):
You got fear, anxiety, burnout,and your anchor could very well
be stillness, fate,self-compassion.
Sometimes we just need to bekind to ourselves, right?
And remember, storms don'tdefine you.
They refine you.
Storms don't define you.
(55:27):
They refine you.
They are there to help you growinto becoming the person God
intended you to be.
Okay?
So remember the main points,okay?
Is perspective.
Having perspective over what itis that you're going through,
the perspective.
And these are incontrovertiblefacts.
(55:47):
So that perspective is thisstorm will pass, right?
The other perspective is thisstorm will help me grow into
becoming the person that I wantto become.
It'll make me wiser, it'll makeme stronger, it'll make me more
patient, more resilient.
It'll make me appreciate thejourney.
That's all a part of theperspective.
This storm could be a learninglesson.
(56:09):
It's all a part of theperspective.
Also, having faith, cultivatingyour faith, leaning on your
faith, you'll grow a muchstronger connection with God if
you grow in your faithcommunity, right?
Getting closer to your family.
Go getting closer to yourfriends.
Maybe you have to go throughthat eviction process and raise
(56:33):
the rent on people who've beensquatting in your mind.
Rent free for a long time, andyou may have to put a doorman at
the door at the doorway of yourmind.
That is, is intentionally thereto keep certain people out.
It's called boundaries.
Setting boundaries.
Maybe you have to love some ofyour family at a distance.
(56:55):
Maybe you have to create limitedassociations.
With some of your family andfriends because they're just
bringing too much negativity ormaybe they're engaged in too
many bad habits, and those badhabits are rubbing off on you
now you have to know what'sright for you and what's no
longer right for you.
And acknowledging that and beingokay with making those changes,
(57:18):
being okay with letting go.
Sometimes there are just certainrelationships that have not been
conducive to your overallwellbeing, and you have to go
into that eviction process.
Okay?
So that's when it comes tocommunity, some of the things
that you can do, and just havingvery practical anchors.
(57:38):
So if you're in a storm, likesome of my practical anchors,
having faith, having gratitude,prayer, meditation, getting
connected with my community,going to church, all of these
different things are superhelpful.
Have these anchors focusing onwhat I can control, focusing on,
on, on my mindset.
(57:59):
Because sometimes again, you'llhave that, that scared little
boy, scared little girlwhispering in your ear, fearful,
terrified, telling you thatyou're not enough, telling you
it's not gonna happen, right?
But those are lies from the pitof hell.
Again, the enemy will tellyou're not gonna get through the
storm and your job is to whisperback.
(58:20):
I am the storm.
I am the storm.
I've gotten through over ahundred percent of the storms
that I've gone through and youwill get through this one.
So ladies and gentlemen,remember, peace doesn't mean the
storm isn't there.
It simply means the stormdoesn't control you, it doesn't
define you, right?
(58:41):
It's there to make you who Godintended you to become.
And my hope is that you guys gotsome value out of today's
session.
You got some tools, you got somestrategies.
But don't just keep these toolsand strategies for yourself.
Go out in the world and reachthose who desperately need this,
right?
Reach those who, who need justsome encouragement, who need
(59:06):
some strategies, who need sometools.
You'll be surprised at who'ssuffering in silence.
You'd be surprised at who'sliving a life of quiet
desperation.
And we could be a blessing to somany people if we just go out
there and reach people.
Give someone a call.
Maybe there's someone youhaven't spoken to in a while and
maybe they've been a bitdistant, you haven't been seeing
(59:27):
them on social media, and thereare people going through some
really difficult seasons.
And you can be that guardianangel for them.
You could be that blessing.
And I can assure you when youapproach life like that, someone
will show up for you at yourlowest.
And be a blessing to those withno expectation no, nothing that
you're expecting in return fromthat person.
(59:47):
Just to check in, just to tapin, see how you can be the
person to pour into someone'sempty cup.
Okay?
So my recommendation is go outlearn, practice, teach, and all
in all, thank you guys so much.
If you got value from today'ssegment, drop a like, comment,
share, tag, someone who can getvalue.
(01:00:09):
It's greatly appreciated.
Thank you for all of you who arealways willing to share this
blessing, subscribe.
If you can sub subscribe,that'll be great.
As well.
I just dropped a new podcastepisode this week, so go check
that out.
I had a psychologist that Iinterviewed recently, Dr.
Sarah, a phenomenal light tothis world and there's so many
(01:00:30):
other interviews on there, so gocheck it out at the Journey
Podcast.
And make sure you follow me onInstagram at the World Traveler
and wherever you can find JoshValentine.
So thank you.
God bless.
Breakfast is served and I'll beseeing you guys next week.
Take care.
today's topic is going to befinding peace in the midst of a
(00:04):
storm, finding peace in themidst of a storm.
And I was inspired to do abreakfast club session
specifically on this because forthose of you who don't know, I'm
an expert contributor for an NBCnetwork out here in my city.
And I oftentimes share differenttopics around life coaching and
personal development.
And the topic that they broughtme to speak on last week was
(00:25):
centered around finding peaceand different ways that people
around the world find peace,right when they're navigating
through different challenges.
So I feel like today a lot ofyou are gonna be able to get
value and yeah, take notes as ifyou're gonna have to teach this
to someone treat this likeyou're sitting in a lecture hall
(00:46):
or you're taking a class from aprofessor.
And that's the best way thatyou're gonna get the very most
value out of the Breakfast Clubsession.
With that being said, guys let'sget ready to jump right into it.
I know we have people tuning inon different platforms, and by
the way, we also stream onplatforms like LinkedIn,
YouTube, Instagram Facebook.
(01:08):
You can catch the recording ofthe Breakfast Club and also just
hop over to the Journey podcastwherever podcasts are streamed.
Let's get this show on the road.
With that being said, all rightwe actually, the first 20 to 30
minutes, we typically sharedifferent things centered around
personal development.
(01:29):
Sometimes it's life hacks, funfacts, different personal
development shares.
Today I am going to be coveringa a snippet from the Daily Stoic
really good book on stoicphilosophy, which is definitely
one of my favorite types ofphilosophy and love learning
from the ancient stoics.
And this is a really good bookby Ryan Holiday, which is Ryan
(01:53):
is one of the foremost thoughtleaders on stoic philosophy.
So he has a lot of great contenton that.
And let's jump into it.
The share for this book is goingto be how you do anything is how
you do everything.
One of my favorite quotes.
And basically it says, payattention to what's in front of
you, the principle, the task, orwhat's being portrayed.
(02:17):
And this is from Marcus Aureliusfrom his book Meditations.
Now, if you've never readmeditations by Marcus Aurelius
was an emperor in Rome.
And he actually lived and walkedon this planet.
And during his time as anemperor, he actually journaled
king David in the Bible.
(02:37):
And he journaled about what hewas going through and he shared
a lot of wisdom on stoicphilosophy.
So the book meditations are alot of his journal entries,
which is pretty cool.
And he lived a very interestinglife.
During those times it wasabsolutely brutal.
But but a really great read ifyou've never checked it out.
(02:58):
So Marcus Aurelius is consideredas like one of the great stoics.
You have other stoics,philosophers like Epictetus and
Seneca, but really great read.
Now it's fun to think about thefuture.
It's easy to ruminate on thepast.
It's harder to put that energyinto what's in front of us right
(03:18):
at this moment, especially ifit's something we don't want to
do.
We think this is just the job.
It isn't who I am.
It doesn't matter, but it does.
Who knows?
It might be the last thing youever do.
Here lies Dave buried aliveunder a mountain of unfinished
business.
(03:39):
There is an old saying, how youdo anything is how you do
everything.
It's true.
How you handle today is howyou'll handle every day.
How you handle this minute ishow you'll handle.
Every minute.
And I always gotta remind myselfof that.
It's important no matter what itis that you do, it's always
gonna be important to nothalf-ass.
(04:00):
Like whatever it is that you do,to do everything with at your
very best.
Because the macro is a directreflection of the micro.
Typically, your outer world isgonna be a direction, a direct
reflection of your inner world.
And this is a big reason.
If you guys jump on my BreakfastClub sessions, and I oftentimes
(04:20):
talk about just getting yourhousehold in order.
Whenever you're in a space ofyour, in, in your life or a
season in your life where you'relooking to get back on track,
get your household in order,right?
Clean your space.
And a cluttered mine is acluttered a cluttered home is a
cluttered mine is a clutteredlife.
And that's typically one of thevery first places that I start,
(04:42):
is just like my inner world,right?
Like your home is just oneaspect, but it's also getting
your mind getting your bodygetting in tune, spiritually,
emotionally, physically,mentally, all of that good
stuff.
And you'll notice a significantdifference.
And it's important to treat thelittle things right?
(05:02):
The little nuances, the littlethings that seem mundane and to
treat them with care becauseyou're, again, your outer world
is always gonna be a directreflection of your inner world.
That may seem minuscule at themoment, but when you treat these
things with care and you goabout them with excellence
you'll see a direct reflectionin a lot of other areas of your
(05:23):
life.
Okay, so here's another sharefrom the daily stoic.
Learn, practice, train.
That's why the philosophers warnus not to be satisfied with mere
learning, but to add practiceand then training for as time
passes.
We forget that we learned andend up doing the opposite and
(05:47):
hold opinions the opposite ofwhat we should Epictetus.
And this is from his bookDiscourses.
And a lot of the times, like Inoticed the ancients they're not
necessarily books, but they'relike journal entries.
They're notes that have been.
Translated or converted intobooks.
(06:09):
It's like the Bible, right?
The Bible isn't necessarily abook, it is a library of many
different books.
And those books are historicaldocuments, right?
They're just words from greatprophets and prophecies and all
kinds of stuff that are inactual scripture.
(06:30):
But it's not like one solidbook, per se.
It's many different books, over40 books that are in scripture.
And they were written over thecourse of a thousand years or
so, right?
So that's the fascinating thinga about it.
And a lot of these ancientauthors, it's like the same
(06:52):
thing.
You'll see just fragments ofmany of their teachings.
And then it was essentially putinto a book.
So this page continues.
Very few people can simply watchan instructional video or hear
something explained and thenknow backward and forward how to
do it.
Most of us actually have to dosomething several times in order
(07:15):
to truly learn.
One of the hallmarks of themartial arts, military training
and athletic training of almostany kind is the hours upon hours
of monotonous practice.
An athlete at the highest levelwill train for years to perform
movements that can last mereseconds or less.
(07:36):
The two minute drill, how toescape from a choke hold, the
perfect jumper simply knowingisn't enough.
It must be absorbed into themuscles and the body.
It must become part of us, or werisk losing it.
The second that we experiencestress or difficulty.
It is true with philosophicalprinciples as well.
(07:58):
You can't just hear somethingonce and expect to rely on it
when the world is crashing downaround us.
Remember, Marcus Aurelius wasn'twriting his meditations for
other people.
He was actively meditating forhimself, even as a successful,
wise and experienced man he wasuntil the last days of his life
(08:19):
practicing and training himselfto do the right thing like a
black belt.
He was still showing up to thedojo every day to roll like a
professional athlete.
He still showed up to practiceeach week, even though other
players thought it wa it wasunnecessary.
So many of you who followed mywork over the years I spent some
(08:40):
time training with a shallshalin monk, a 36 generation
warrior Shalin monk, actuallytrained kung fu Tai Chi Qigong
with this monk.
Lived with him and a bunch ofother of his students, and got
to train with him.
And a lot of the training thatwe did were essentially the same
(09:02):
moves over and over and overagain.
And throughout the course ofyour life, if you wanna master
anything, that's essentiallywhat it looks like.
They say you get praised inpublic for what you do in
private and oftentimes.
What you're doing in privateisn't so glorious typically.
Like it looks glorious whenpeople win and you see the
(09:24):
finished product.
But the foundation, the processwhere you're actually doing the
practice, doing the training,it's not so glorious.
It's the same moves over andover.
Wax on, wax off, wax on, waxoff.
And it's interesting, I rememberhearing this story of this great
(09:47):
warrior monk, and he had manydisciples.
And I remember and I shared thisstory from time to time, but I
remember hearing that there wasa group of his disciples, one
time training and they weretraining specifically in
archery.
One of the disciples were likevery talented, like super
(10:09):
gifted.
And it was amazing because outof all the different disciples
that were working under thismonk this one student really
stood out, but he started to geta bit cocky and arrogant.
He started to get full.
He was getting full of himself.
And one day the monk takes thegroup of disciples out to this
(10:31):
great mountain and up this greatmountain.
They spend hours and hoursclimbing this mountain.
And they finally get to likethis this high part of the
mountain with this crevice thatdropped down like hundreds of
feet and there was a tree thatactually was like a natural
(10:57):
bridge in between this gap,right?
The monk walks on the tree, andit was this massive tree that,
that was like a bridge there.
And the monk basically walks tothe middle of the tree.
Now imagine that there was adrop below hundreds of feet.
(11:22):
And then he starts telling thedisciples that they were gonna
have to walk across and theythought he was crazy.
Just even him walking there,right?
Walking across the tree.
It was just like, wow.
That's super intimidating.
There's no way in the world I'mgonna walk over that tree.
So he goes and calls out thecocky disciple, and he tells him
(11:48):
to come walk to him like in themiddle of the tree.
The arrogant disciple was justlike, you know what?
Like he his pride was shot alittle bit and all of the other
disciples were like laughing athim.
So he mu up the courage to walkto the tree and he looks below
(12:10):
and sees this drop.
So then he starts crawling,right?
He doesn't have the ability tojust walk like the shalin monk.
And he's crawling on the tree,barely inching forward, scared
out of his mind, right?
And then the monk tells thedisciple to stand up in the
(12:33):
middle, right?
Remember there's a drop belowand he tells him to pull out his
bow and arrow and to shoot thisother tree that was like really
far in the distance, over ahundred feet away.
So the.
The shallen monk takes an arrowand shoots exactly where he
(12:56):
wants the disciple to shoot.
And the disciple, essentiallywhat he tells him I want you to
shoot that arrow.
Shoot exactly where it is.
And the disciple like, is soscared that he picks up the bow
and arrow and he's trembling andhe pulls back the arrow and he's
(13:18):
like barely opening up his eyesand shoots in that direction.
And he misses it by a hundredfeet.
Like he had, he was nowhere nearwhere he was supposed to shoot
his target.
And he was trembling and scaredand all of the other disciples
were laughing at him, and thenthe master takes out another
(13:40):
arrow and stands up right in themiddle of this tree and shoots
the original arrow and splits.
The original arrow that he shotsplits it in half, right?
And then he tells the studenttry again.
And he pulls back his arrow andhe's so scared and terrified at
(14:04):
falling that he ends up likejust not being able to hit the
target.
And what the master told thedisciple in that moment is that
no matter how talented andgifted you are, right?
No matter how much you train,that training means nothing if
you can't use it in your momentsof fear.
(14:29):
That training, that personaldevelopment, all of that stuff
that you learn means nothing ifyou can't use it when you need
it the most.
And that's the thing is thatthere's a saying in the military
that you want to, the more yousweat in times of peace, the
less you bleed in times of war.
(14:50):
It always is important to, againstay ready so you don't have to
get ready.
And there's another saying thatI love that it's much better to
be a warrior in a garden than agardener in a war, right?
And that's why the personaldevelopment is so important.
That's why the training is soimportant, because when you're
in the midst of a storm, you'regoing to need something to keep
(15:13):
you anchored.
You're gonna need an anchor togo back to.
So the storm doesn't knock youoff track.
You're gonna need something tocount on something solid that
you can fall back on.
And one of the things that I'velearned that has become my
anchor is to trust my training.
Trust my training.
(15:33):
You do all the personaldevelopment, you develop
yourself and you read the books,you listen to the audios.
You hop on the breakfast clubyou go on the podcast, all of
these different things.
You invest in the seminars.
It's for the storms.
The more you sweat in times ofpeace, the less you bleed in
times of war.
So you are really fortifyingyour mind, your emotions, your
(15:57):
knowledge, your experience, allof these different things so
that you can properly navigatethrough the storms of life.
That's what you're training for.
Because the one thing about lifeis that storms are inevitable.
There's absolutely nothing youcan do to avoid the storms, like
storms happen to all of us.
But how do you find peace in themidst of the storm?
(16:19):
How do you calm your nervoussystem?
How do you cultivate your faithso that your faith also becomes
an anchor?
Not just your training, right?
But your faith, yourperspective, all of these
different things.
Your self care, right?
So that you can properlynavigate through the storm.
And the beautiful thing aboutstorms is that they have an
(16:43):
interesting way of humbling you.
Also building you up in a majorway, making you stronger, making
you more resilient, making youwiser, making you more
compassionate and empathetic,giving you some something that
allows you to appreciate yourjourney even more.
The storms are actually likeblessings in disguise in a
(17:05):
sense.
And they also don't last, theydon't last.
The very nature of a storm isthat they eventually fade away
and you will get through.
The question is, how do younavigate through the storm?
How do you find peace in themidst of the storm?
And that's what we're gonna becovering here today on this
Breakfast Club session.
(17:26):
Let's get this party started.
Life has a way of throwingstorms at us.
Some are small, like unexpectedbills or work stress.
Others are life changing, likelosing a job, health battles,
broken relationships, and grief.
That's the thing about life isthat the storms they take, they,
(17:47):
they take many different forms.
Sometimes it's gonna be afinancial storm, sometimes it's
gonna be your personal health,or you go through a breakup or a
divorce or something like that.
And the thing about it is youcan have something to keep you
anchored, keep you groundedwhenever you are going through
these things.
Okay.
(18:08):
One thing about about my journeyis that I've encountered a lot
of storms, right?
I I'm a father of threechildren.
I lead a community, I'm a serialentrepreneur.
And one of the storms thatalways pop up in
entrepreneurship are likedifferent challenges, financial
storms, you go throughchallenges in business.
(18:30):
Sometimes businesses arethriving, and then other times
you're getting rocked bybusiness.
So how do you when shit hits thefan how do you really get
yourself anchored?
And that's what I'm reallyexcited to cover.
And I think that the analogy ofstorms are quite appropriate.
I actually I was thinking aboutlike this talk here today about
(18:54):
storms and the fact that Iworked at, I worked as a
maritime captain for quite sometime.
I actually went to a militarycollege and got my Coast Guard
license to operate ships andworked as a merchant marine
piloting cargo as a merchant,marine captain, licensed captain
by the Coast Guard.
And actually still actively keepit keep my license active.
(19:18):
So the reason why I bring thatup is because there have been
times where I've been out at seaand legit, almost lost my life
out at sea because of storms.
And the one thing that we'vealways learned to do when the
storms hit is to trust yourtraining.
So there's certain protocol thatyou take whenever you're in the
(19:40):
middle of a storm, and forexample, on the main deck of the
boat, whenever you're on a boat,like you have to they say you
dog the hatches, right?
So all of the doors on the maindeck, you have to make sure
they're closed because the thingabout storms is that ships don't
sink because of the water aroundthe ship, ships and boats sink
(20:06):
because of the water that getsin the boat or the ship.
So it's the same with life.
It's like we're always going tobe navigating through this vast
ocean of life, and you're notgoing to crumble because of the
vast ocean.
You're going to crumble if youallow the water to get within
(20:27):
you.
And the water being symbolic forwhatever life's obstacles are.
You have to make sure that youcan still maneuver through those
storms and not allow the waterto get in and sink you.
So there's certain protocol, andthat's why it's important to
trust your training.
(20:48):
When you're out in, in, in astorm you have certain
protocols, certain things thatyou do so that you can properly
navigate through them, likedogging the hatchets, right?
Making sure that everything issecure on deck, everything is
secure in inside that vessel,okay?
And when it comes to life, it'slike when you're encountering a
(21:08):
storm what are certain thingsthat you can do to properly
navigate?
And that's what a lot of whatwe're gonna be covering here
today.
Okay?
So here we go.
Now today I want you guys towalk with.
Or walk with you through how tofind peace, not after the storm
is over, but in the very middleof it.
(21:31):
Because peace isn't found incalm waters.
It's built in chaos, okay?
It's built in chaos.
Now, part one of what we'regonna be covering is
understanding the nature ofstorms.
Okay?
So again, take notes as ifyou're gonna have to teach this.
All right?
As I always share, the weakestink is stronger than the
(21:52):
strongest memory.
So take notes because the vastmajority of this stuff, you will
forget.
Now, the very first aspect ofthe nature of a storm is storms
are inevitable.
Nobody escapes from storms,okay?
And it could be success, money,health storms do not
(22:12):
discriminate.
And it's always important toremember that storms do not
discriminate.
They will take many differentforms.
Another aspect of storms, as Imentioned earlier, is that
storms are temporary.
So even the worst hurricaneeventually passes that
perspective shifts how weexperience them.
(22:33):
I remember sitting through inThe Bahamas, we got rocked with
a category five, I think it washurricane Matthew, if I'm not
mistaken, a couple years ago.
And man, it, it was brutal.
It was brutal.
I remember one of thehurricanes, one of our shipmates
from college actually lost hislife with his children, right?
(22:53):
And storms.
Storms can be very unforgivingand it was just like very
unfortunate.
But the thing about it is asmuch damage that the storm did.
Eventually you find your wayback and you do damage control,
but you also, you recover andyou clean up what needs to be
(23:14):
cleaned up.
The storm will subside no matterhow big, whether it's a category
one or category five, it willsubside.
Okay.
Another aspect of storms arethat storms reveal character.
Just like pressure revealscracks in a foundation, storms
expose what we're leaning on.
(23:37):
Okay?
And that's the good thing aboutstorms is that storms reveal a
lot about yourself, reveal a lotabout the people you're doing
life with.
You'll find out real quick who'sreally down for you and who's
not, when times are reallytough.
So it's a truth telling seasonWhenever you're going through
storms, now ask yourself, whatdo you anchor to?
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Because if your peace depends oncircumstances, you'll always be
at the mercy of life.
If your peace.
Relies on circumstances you'llalways be at the mercy of life.
Your peace has to be insomething greater, okay?
Because there's always going tobe something happening.
(24:23):
In fact, I'm a firm believerthat we always say that there's
3, 3, 3 seasons.
You're in life.
You're either in a storm or youjust got out of a storm, or
you're getting ready to go intoa storm, and that's just the way
the world works, right?
You may be getting out of afinancial storm in one season,
(24:43):
and now you're in a relationshipstorm or getting out of a
relationship storm, and nowyou're in a health storm.
Or maybe it's calm, right?
And that's the case.
But understand that at somepoint in time, you will end up
back in a storm.
Okay?
So remember, water outside won'tsink aship.
(25:05):
It's only when it gets inside.
It's always gonna be the samewith us.
Peace comes from what we allowinside.
Next up, we have principles forfinding peace.
Okay?
The first is the perspectiveover problems.
Having perspective over theproblems that you're currently
(25:26):
facing.
So what you wanna do is shiftfrom why is this happening?
To what can I learn from this?
Why is this happening?
To, what can I learn from this?
Every setback, every obstaclecan be a great teacher.
And imagine if you approach yourchallenges like that.
(25:47):
That's how you end up wiser iswhen you look for the treasure
and the trash, when you look forthe inspiring message in that
mess you're currently in.
Okay?
So an example would be a failedbusiness deal might actually
read direct you to betteropportunity.
A failed business.
(26:07):
They like I remember when mybusiness the business that I was
associated with during COVID endup going bankrupt, right?
A business that I had been apart of for years.
But, you know what, if that hadnot happened, there probably
would be no Journey podcast.
There probably would be no DreamNation media.
(26:29):
My, my recent company that welaunched back in October in 60
plus countries worldwide, we,that would've never have
happened there.
There's so many blessings thatcame out of it.
I probably would not be livingwhere I'm living today because
the people that encouraged me toeven move out to my city legit,
(26:51):
like these were people that Igot closer to after that storm.
So it, it's just interesting howlife works in that way, and
that's why one of the bestthings to anchor yourself with
is that.
You, you can very well justtrust the process.
Trust the process that God isworking out.
(27:11):
Whatever you're going throughfor something greater, right?
There's something happening,something cultivating, there's a
germination process in thatstorm that you're in.
And you if you stay diligent andyou extract the good out of it
you typically end up better.
Okay?
So super important tounderstand, and here's a great
(27:33):
quote.
Pain that isn't transformed istransmitted.
Pain that isn't transformed istransmitted.
You wanna channel that pain anduse it for something that's
actually constructive.
Next is presence over panic.
Presence over panic.
So panic beco panic comes fromfocusing on the future,
(27:58):
imagining worst case scenarios.
That's when you have anxiety,when you have overwhelm.
There's a saying that fear is anacronym for false expectations
appearing real.
90% of the things that we worryabout, isn't it true that they
typically don't happen?
Over 90% of the things that weworry about don't happen, and we
(28:19):
waste all this time, all of thisemotional bandwidth that is
being wasted on worrying onthings that never even happen.
So that's why you have to takeback control over your mind,
okay?
And peace also comes from beingfully present in this moment.
(28:41):
Because if you don't have peace,chances are you're worried about
the future.
Sometimes people are havinganxiety because of the past,
right?
So you have to continue to moveforward.
No stinking thinking.
That's the idea.
Now, there are certain thingsthat you can do to calm your
nervous system, becausetypically what's happening is
when you're experiencing panic.
(29:02):
Typically you're experiencingpanic because your nervous
system is compromised, your bodyis signaling that it's in
danger.
And when that sympatheticnervous system kicks in, your
body is either fight, flight, orfreeze.
How many of you can relate tothat where you're so
debilitated, like you're eithergonna go hard and fight your way
(29:26):
through the problems, andsometimes you don't even have it
in you to fight and you're moreso freezing or just running
altogether away from theproblems.
You, you have what they call theostrich effect that takes over
you.
The ostrich effect is when anostrich is in great danger,
(29:47):
typically what it does is itburies its head in the sand like
that.
That's its strategy for goingagainst its predators, right?
It buries its head in the sand.
And a lot of us tend to do thatin life.
When things get reallydifficult, like we don't take on
these challenges head on,sometimes we don't even run.
(30:09):
We just freeze.
We put our heads in the sand anddon't do anything.
But one thing that I can tellyou is sometimes that is not the
best approach.
You have to do what you can tofigure your situation out.
Sometimes you just have to calmyour nervous system, and there's
a lot of effective ways that youcan do that.
So the other week I spoke aboutthe tapping method.
(30:31):
Really great, a tool andstrategy for calming down your
nervous system.
I oftentimes talk aboutbreathing techniques like box
breathing, for example.
So the tapping method is tappingon specific meridians in your
body.
And this comes from the world ofChinese acupuncture.
There's certain meridians in thebody that if you just tap on
them lightly.
(30:52):
There, there are about nine thatI know about.
You have right here by thathands width underneath your
armpit, you have on the side ofyour hand, you can just tap on
it for a few seconds.
You have right here by your thebrim of your eyebrow on the
side, underneath your eyes,underneath your nose, underneath
your lip, right on yourcollarbone and on the top of
(31:15):
your head, just lightly tappingon them.
And it's a really great tool forjust calming your nervous
system.
Give it a shot like GoogleTapping Method.
There's also apps for it, butit's a really great strategy
just to calm yourself down.
Sometimes it's just breathing,deep breathing.
And I like box breathing.
Very simple, straight to thepoint.
(31:36):
You inhale for about fourseconds.
Hold your breath for fourseconds, exhale for four
seconds, and hold your breath onempty lungs for four seconds,
and you do it four times, right?
Very simple.
But this is also a really greattool for calming your nervous
system.
Okay.
If you guys are getting value sofar, drop a v in the comments.
(31:57):
I wanna make sure that you areall with me.
Drop a V for value.
All right, let's keep this showon the road.
Next up we have faith over fear.
Okay, faith over fear.
Fear multiplies in storms, butfaith stabilizes.
Okay, so fear mobilizes.
(32:20):
Fear multiplies, right?
It grows in, in the midst of astorm.
So if you allow fear to seep in,it will eventually grow.
It'll make the storm even worse.
But when you have faith willallow you to stabilize, right?
(32:40):
The storm, and it's again, it'slike.
When you trust your training,you drop the anchor in the
middle of the storm.
Depending on the storm,sometimes it's most effective to
not push forward, but drop theanchor and point the vessel in
the direction of where the wavesare coming, right?
Your training will tell you,don't allow those storms to hit
(33:02):
you broadside and capsize yourship.
And the reason why I bring thatup is because sometimes in life
you have to recalibrate.
You have to ground yourself.
You have to say, okay, what'sgoing on here?
What am I missing?
Am I doing something wrong?
Do I need to grow my faith whereI'm at right now?
(33:23):
Sometimes.
Sometimes being still is themost effective approach.
Sometimes surrender is the mosteffective approach.
Not all the time, but sometimesit is.
Sometimes when you've exhaustedall of your options, all you've
got is your faith.
All you've got is yoursurrender.
But part of your anchor shouldalways be doing all that you can
(33:46):
do.
And that's why I cover a lot ofstoic philosophy in my teachings
because stoicism is all aboutcultivating the courage to
change what you can andaccepting what you can't control
and being okay with that.
And that's where faith kicks inwhen you're at that point where
(34:08):
if all you've got is surrender,having the faith that something
is going to really end upleading to that situation, being
a blessing, that God is going totake care of the rest.
Okay, so faith over fear nowthere's things that help when
(34:29):
you are going through thesestorms.
Again, having those anchors.
So gratitude is another one,right?
Gratitude is another one, butsometimes.
You've gotta remind yourself whothe hell you are.
You gotta remind yourself ofthings that you've overcome.
So it is important sometimes torevisit past victories, revisit
(34:51):
times you've overcome storms inthe past and remind yourself
that you've survived a hundredpercent of your hardest days so
far.
You've survived all of them,right?
You and remind yourself there.
There's a I remember hearingthis story of the enemy getting
(35:11):
into this warrior's ear.
And this warrior was this one ofthe greatest warriors of all
time.
And the, and the story talksabout the enemy seeping in his
ear saying that you won't beable to get through this storm.
And the warrior whispered backto the enemy.
I am the storm.
(35:34):
I am the storm.
That's attitude.
That's reminding yourself ofyour greatness, not allowing
that inner voice to consume you,that voice that's trying to
devour you, not allowing it todevour you because you serve a
greater God, right?
You have to take back controlover your power and remind
(35:56):
yourself of your power.
Remind yourself of yourgreatness.
Remind yourself of those pastvictories.
Remind yourself that you're awinner, that you're a champion,
that you came into this worldborn a winner, right?
We all did.
You don't come into this worldwithout being a winner.
It's actually a prerequisite forbeing a human being, because
(36:18):
they're about a half a billionsperm cell that were going for
that one egg, and you just sohappen to be the one that, that,
that survived and made it right.
So every single person, it isour human nature, right?
To be born a winner.
We all won the first race oflife.
And throughout your entire life,you're constantly going to go
(36:42):
through these different stormsand you have survived a hundred
percent of everything thatyou've gone through.
And we need those reminders fromtime to time.
Next, we have community overisolation.
Storms push us to isolate, butisolation, magnifies fear.
(37:04):
I had saw a I heard in a podcastthe other day from a health
expert, and you guys are morethan welcome to look up the
research on it, but one of thethings that this health expert
mentioned is that isolation canbe even more detrimental to your
health than alcohol, like legitpeople.
Think about COVID.
(37:24):
How many people were drasticallyaffected during COVID because of
the isolation.
Isolation will really debilitateyou, and in fact.
On my TV segment this past week,one of the things that I spoke
about is in Spain.
When I went to Spain the otherweek, I was out in Barcelona.
And I learned a lot aboutSpanish culture.
(37:46):
And what I learned also is thatSpain is ranked as one of the
healthiest nations in the world,and they're one of the
healthiest nations in the world.
Not necessarily just because oftheir Mediterranean diet or
anything like that.
They're or even they have healthprograms in terms of Medicare
(38:11):
not Medicare, but goodhealthcare systems.
But a big contributor to thewellbeing of people in Spain are
their lifestyle, their, the waytheir lifestyle is designed.
So Spain has two things in theirlifestyle that's embedded in
their culture.
They have what you call asiesta, and they have what you
(38:35):
call a esa.
Now a siesta is during theafternoon times in Spain,
everything shuts down likearound two o'clock from two to
five, like legit, the streetsget empty.
A lot of businesses shut downand people are like, if you're a
tourist, you're like, where thehell did everybody go?
(38:56):
And that's because in Spain,they have rest and relaxation
during the middle of the day,and they have these csta.
Remember, our bodies weren'treally designed for the nine to
five system.
You have a circadian rhythm andyou have a specific way your
body is designed and many oflike what it's like to eat lunch
(39:19):
and then feel super tired.
You get lethargic, right?
You don't really have anymotivation after lunch.
And in Spain, they actually.
Have about a three hour break todo whatever the hell they want.
It can be going for a walk withfriends, it can be taking a nap,
right?
But rest is a big part of theculture.
(39:41):
And when you think about it, forus here on the other side of the
pond, in the Americas likehustle culture is a big part of
the way that we live.
It's all about grinding.
It's all about maximizing thehours and efficiency, right?
And Spanish, just the completeopposite.
They also have the, where theidea is that for most of us in
(40:04):
the states, we eat atrestaurants for an hour to two
hours, and then that waiter isbringing that bill or bringing
the check and you know it's timeto go, right?
They're trying to give you thesignal like, Hey, we got some
more people that we want to fillup these seats with.
Now in Spain, the idea of theESSA is once you eat, then you
(40:26):
start the process of.
Having conversation with yourloved ones, having conversation
with family and friends forhours, sometimes, like it's very
common to sit at a restauranttable for five hours in Spain.
No joke.
And the reason why I bring thatup is because it fosters social
(40:46):
bonding.
It fosters people being able totalk about different things that
they're going through in life.
And the beautiful thing aboutbonding with family and friends
is you have the oxytocinbenefits.
Oxytocin is the hormone in yourbody.
It's the love hormone.
It's what makes you feel thosewarm and fuzzy feelings, and
that is deeply embedded in theirculture.
(41:09):
And that's a great contributorto why they're such a healthy
society.
So why do we bring this up?
Is because the idea should becommunity over isolation.
When you're going through astorm, get plugged into your
community, tap with your tribe.
Every Sunday, I just shuteverything down and we go to
(41:30):
church, we hang out with ourfamily, with our friends.
We're getting together.
And my wife and I, we've beenmore intentional about just
sitting down with our kids fordinner.
No technology, no phones, noneof that sitting down just to
have conversations.
And it's funny, my kids, they,we played this game what is it
called?
You have to, I spy it's like Ispy something red and we have to
(41:55):
look around the room and findout like what's that specific
color, right?
But we'll have different gameslike that, right?
Or never have I ever, likethings that we talk about.
We talk about just their whatthey have going on, things that
they wanna do, and funny stuff.
And and the reason why that's soimportant is because again
(42:19):
you're stabilizing your nervoussystem.
You have the oxytocin benefits.
It's you're able to express youremotions, whatever it's you're
going through, and it truly doeshelp navigating through storms
do not suffer in silence.
People are out there livinglives of quiet desperation with
(42:40):
no one to talk to.
It's crazy.
We have over 8 billion people onthis planet and all of this
technology to keep us connected,but never have human beings been
as lonely as they are throughoutthe entire humanity.
Isn't that something?
We have all this technology tokeep us close, keep us bonded
(43:02):
together, but humans aredesperately alone.
So it is important to build yourtribe, build your community.
Your community is a part of yourhealth.
Don't think of community assomething that's separate from
your fitness, separate from youroverall health.
(43:22):
Your community plays a majorcontributing factor in, in your
overall wellbeing.
So spend time nurturing thatcommunity because when your cup
is depleted, your community willbe there to fill your cup and
pick a community that's actuallypositive.
And they don't talk about justnegative stuff all the time.
(43:45):
They're not sitting theregossiping about other people.
Get a community or get into acommunity of people who are
actually very supportive andthey talk about dreams, goals,
and aspirations.
And not just, they're talkingabout toxic shit, right?
Or talk, talking about thingsthat aren't positive, aren't
helpful, super important.
(44:06):
Okay.
Now leaning on friends, mentors,coaches, or even just supportive
online communities can go reallyfar.
Okay, get a part.
If you don't have a communitydirectly, like in your
neighborhood, find onlinecommunities.
That's what the Breakfast Clubis.
People hop on every single week,and it's a community.
(44:26):
Sometimes we travel together.
Sometimes you guys will see meat business conventions.
Like we have our Creatorsconference coming up in the
fall.
Many of you guys will be there,right?
And if you want information onthat DM me creators conference,
I'll be more than happy to sendyou information.
You can actually hop over todoug creators conference.com and
find information on it.
But we foster and curate theseexperiences so that we can all
(44:51):
get together because it's notalways about high tech.
It's high touch, right?
It's getting belly to belly withyour community.
Okay.
And I always I love doingcomplimentary coaching sessions
for our community.
It's one of my way of servingthis community.
And by the way, if you haven'tdone a complimentary coaching
session with me in the past justDM me the word coach.
(45:13):
I open up a certain amount ofslots every single week.
For complimentary coachingsessions for this community, or
if it's been over six monthssince you've last spoken with
me.
And maybe you just need someoneto talk to.
You need someone to be able tovent and express yourself.
And maybe you need some clarityon this specific season.
Just DM me the word coach.
I'd be more than happy to touchbase with you.
(45:35):
And this has been one of mygreatest contributions to this
community has been just offeringthese complimentary coaching
sessions because I get itsometimes it's expensive for
someone to be able to affordespecially when life is life and
then Bills a billing.
It's tough for people to be ableto invest in masterminds and
(45:56):
seminars and coaches and all ofthat.
I always just love being ablessing and this is what has
blessed my life, honestly.
I'm a firm believer in that.
One of the things that come tomind is when I've been at my
lowest I have some of my closestfriends.
(46:16):
I've been able to be vulnerablewith, and you wanna be able
specialist, especially US men,we have to find somebody that,
that is a safe space for us tobe vulnerable with.
And sometimes not all peopleare, it's not good to be
vulnerable with anybody.
'cause some people like they,they'll be quick to tell your
business right quick to put yourstuff on blast.
(46:38):
And my recommendation is ifsomeone gossips a lot about
other people, that's not yourperson.
That's not your go-to person totalk about your problems and be
vulnerable with, because who youthink they're talking about when
you're not around?
Like they're probably talkingabout you.
So be very mindful of that.
(47:00):
You don't wanna be like tooopen, too vulnerable all the
time with people who aregossipers.
Unless you're cool with themtelling your business, right?
That's something that you alwayshave to be mindful of.
So I know one of the people thatcome to mind is my best friend,
my suit and I got, I have ahandful of best friends that I
(47:20):
can go to and just talk aboutanything in life.
Like my boy, Darryl, he he's outin Louisiana and I always talk
to him about different aspectsof life, different things that
we go through as men, right?
My boy Masu when we're workingout in the gym, we're talking
about business challenges andeverything.
And one thing that I've learnedis I always feel better after a
(47:44):
really good conversation.
Sometimes you're in a space inyour life where you can't feel
from that empty cup that youhave to fill your cup.
And having community, havingpeople that you can count on
that's one of the best ways youcan fill your cup in life.
Okay, so next we have practicalanchors for peace, practical
(48:08):
anchors for peace.
Here we go.
Next we have breathing andstillness.
So I'm big on meditation.
I meditate every single day.
Meditation is a big part of mylife.
And I remember years ago it wasvery difficult for me to
meditate because in easterntradition they refer to it as
monkey mind.
(48:28):
So for me, prayer, meditation,like they, they go hand in hand.
So I look at prayer, speaking toGod.
Meditation is listening to God.
And meditation is always just agreat way for me to calm my
nervous system, for me to get intune spiritually.
I actually have a meditationcushion, like in my closet that
I go to.
(48:49):
It's one of the best things forself-care, I can assure you that
right now.
Now, if you find meditation abit challenging for you my
recommendation is you could evenhave guided meditations.
There's like mindfulnessmeditations where you can just
take deep breaths and havesomeone like guide you.
And I actually like playing thesounds of nature.
(49:12):
So there's playlist on applemusic, and I'm sure you could
find that on YouTube.
Just different sounds in natureand it definitely is like very
soothing for me.
I used to play different times.
So Solfeggio frequencies, whichare these frequencies or these
sounds that are really amazingas well that help calm your
(49:33):
nervous system, but differentthings that you can do to help
assist you on your journey ofmeditation.
But remember, breathing andstillness are definitely great
forms of.
Great anchors for peace, okay?
And you could have whether it'sa short breathing exercise or a
tapping method, all of thesethings definitely help.
(49:55):
Secondly is journal journalingand reflection journaling.
I always talk about journaling.
I'm a huge proponent forjournaling.
Even if it's on your phone, ifyou find that getting a paper
and pen is just adding one morestep to the process and you're
not do whatever, whateverencourages you to journal more,
just take that approach.
So me writing it on my phonenotepad is way more effective
(50:19):
for me than actually taking apen and pat, and it helps
tremendously getting yourthoughts written down.
Now, preferably it's alwaysgonna be better, to do pen and
paper, but at a minimum, ifyou're just not getting around
to the pen and paper, at leasttry it on your phone, okay?
And remember, writing clears thestorm inside your.
(50:41):
It just helps you feel as if youhave more control over the
storm.
Okay.
Sometimes just laying out a goodgame plan.
Sometimes that anxiety is justcoming from confusion, it's
coming from overwhelm.
It just seems like you're beinginundated with all of these
different obstacles and youdon't know where to go.
Okay.
Next we have number three focuson controllables.
(51:05):
And this is again, goes back tothe idea of stoicism, focusing
on what you can control.
So the idea is to list threethings that you can do today and
release what's out of yourhands.
So three things, whether that's,let's just say you have to call
(51:25):
the IRS.
That may be the one thing thathas been a burden for you.
Or maybe you have to call yourinsurance, or maybe you have to
reach out to that prospect orwhatever.
It's, but list three things thatyou can actually do today, and I
always refer to it as your threeto thrive or your big three,
right?
Have three top priorities thatif you don't accomplish anything
(51:48):
for the day, but those three,then you know that the day was a
win.
Okay?
But focus on the controllables.
What's within the parameters ofyour control?
Number four is spiritualpractices.
Okay?
So that could be prayer,meditation, affirmations,
scripture, gratitude.
Gratitude is a big one, right?
(52:10):
But what do you do?
What are your spiritualpractices?
It may be going to whether it'sa church, synagogue, MAs,
temple, whatever it is, but havesome type of spiritual practice
as an anchor.
Number five is movement andenvironment.
This is a big one.
I oftentimes share on thebreakfast club that I walk about
three miles a day right aroundmy neighborhood because walking,
(52:34):
getting out in the sun, not onlydo you get the vitamin D
benefits from the sun, but alsothe serotonin benefits from
sunlight.
So serotonin is a moodstabilizer.
It's the hormone that makes youfeel good, and that's one of the
biggest benefits of walkingoutside, getting around nature.
Allow nature to heal you andrestore you.
(52:56):
Okay?
Change your scenery.
Remember, nature calms storms inthe mind, okay?
It helps you be more present.
Number six is lean on yourpeople.
So call someone you trust.
Sometimes hearing a differentvoice is the breakthrough.
I know some of my friends theygave me one piece of
(53:18):
encouragement and it shifted myperspective.
And this happens all the time.
Just a great conversation willlead to a different perspective.
That helps.
Okay?
There's so many different thingsthat you can do this week.
Whatever storm you're navigatingthrough, whether again, it's
financial, whether it's yourrelationship, whether it's your
(53:39):
health, okay?
There, there are certain thingsthat you can do to get yourself
anchored, right?
Get your perspective back, allof these different things, okay?
And part four of this is justreal life applications, right?
So for example, you may be anentrepreneur and you're having
the stress of uncertainty.
(54:00):
You may have had a failedbusiness, you may be going
through a financial storm, andyou're anchor for entrepre.
Can specifically be focusing onthe controllables and trusting
the process, having faith,right?
That could perhaps be youranchor for those of you who are
entrepreneurs, just focusing onwhat you can control, okay?
(54:23):
Now, if it's family orrelationships, you may have
misunderstandings.
Maybe you haven't heard fromyour children in a while, right?
There's distance or conflict,and perhaps your anchor can be
presence and communication.
Reaching out to that familymember, just being more patient
and considerate and empathetic,right?
(54:45):
Working on the communication,maybe forgiveness, right?
Maybe just apologizing for 1, 1,1 mistake that you made, but
there's so many different waysyou can go about having that
anchor during relational storms.
Maybe your storm might bepersonal help or inner battle.
Sometimes it's your mentalhealth.
(55:07):
You got fear, anxiety, burnout,and your anchor could very well
be stillness, fate,self-compassion.
Sometimes we just need to bekind to ourselves, right?
And remember, storms don'tdefine you.
They refine you.
Storms don't define you.
(55:27):
They refine you.
They are there to help you growinto becoming the person God
intended you to be.
Okay?
So remember the main points,okay?
Is perspective.
Having perspective over what itis that you're going through,
the perspective.
And these are incontrovertiblefacts.
(55:47):
So that perspective is thisstorm will pass, right?
The other perspective is thisstorm will help me grow into
becoming the person that I wantto become.
It'll make me wiser, it'll makeme stronger, it'll make me more
patient, more resilient.
It'll make me appreciate thejourney.
That's all a part of theperspective.
This storm could be a learninglesson.
(56:09):
It's all a part of theperspective.
Also, having faith, cultivatingyour faith, leaning on your
faith, you'll grow a muchstronger connection with God if
you grow in your faithcommunity, right?
Getting closer to your family.
Go getting closer to yourfriends.
Maybe you have to go throughthat eviction process and raise
(56:33):
the rent on people who've beensquatting in your mind.
Rent free for a long time, andyou may have to put a doorman at
the door at the doorway of yourmind.
That is, is intentionally thereto keep certain people out.
It's called boundaries.
Setting boundaries.
Maybe you have to love some ofyour family at a distance.
(56:55):
Maybe you have to create limitedassociations.
With some of your family andfriends because they're just
bringing too much negativity ormaybe they're engaged in too
many bad habits, and those badhabits are rubbing off on you
now you have to know what'sright for you and what's no
longer right for you.
And acknowledging that and beingokay with making those changes,
(57:18):
being okay with letting go.
Sometimes there are just certainrelationships that have not been
conducive to your overallwellbeing, and you have to go
into that eviction process.
Okay?
So that's when it comes tocommunity, some of the things
that you can do, and just havingvery practical anchors.
(57:38):
So if you're in a storm, likesome of my practical anchors,
having faith, having gratitude,prayer, meditation, getting
connected with my community,going to church, all of these
different things are superhelpful.
Have these anchors focusing onwhat I can control, focusing on,
on, on my mindset.
(57:59):
Because sometimes again, you'llhave that, that scared little
boy, scared little girlwhispering in your ear, fearful,
terrified, telling you thatyou're not enough, telling you
it's not gonna happen, right?
But those are lies from the pitof hell.
Again, the enemy will tellyou're not gonna get through the
storm and your job is to whisperback.
(58:20):
I am the storm.
I am the storm.
I've gotten through over ahundred percent of the storms
that I've gone through and youwill get through this one.
So ladies and gentlemen,remember, peace doesn't mean the
storm isn't there.
It simply means the stormdoesn't control you, it doesn't
define you, right?
(58:41):
It's there to make you who Godintended you to become.
And my hope is that you guys gotsome value out of today's
session.
You got some tools, you got somestrategies.
But don't just keep these toolsand strategies for yourself.
Go out in the world and reachthose who desperately need this,
right?
Reach those who, who need justsome encouragement, who need
(59:06):
some strategies, who need sometools.
You'll be surprised at who'ssuffering in silence.
You'd be surprised at who'sliving a life of quiet
desperation.
And we could be a blessing to somany people if we just go out
there and reach people.
Give someone a call.
Maybe there's someone youhaven't spoken to in a while and
maybe they've been a bitdistant, you haven't been seeing
(59:27):
them on social media, and thereare people going through some
really difficult seasons.
And you can be that guardianangel for them.
You could be that blessing.
And I can assure you when youapproach life like that, someone
will show up for you at yourlowest.
And be a blessing to those withno expectation no, nothing that
you're expecting in return fromthat person.
(59:47):
Just to check in, just to tapin, see how you can be the
person to pour into someone'sempty cup.
Okay?
So my recommendation is go outlearn, practice, teach, and all
in all, thank you guys so much.
If you got value from today'ssegment, drop a like, comment,
share, tag, someone who can getvalue.
(01:00:09):
It's greatly appreciated.
Thank you for all of you who arealways willing to share this
blessing, subscribe.
If you can sub subscribe,that'll be great.
As well.
I just dropped a new podcastepisode this week, so go check
that out.
I had a psychologist that Iinterviewed recently, Dr.
Sarah, a phenomenal light tothis world and there's so many
(01:00:30):
other interviews on there, so gocheck it out at the Journey
Podcast.
And make sure you follow me onInstagram at the World Traveler
and wherever you can find JoshValentine.
So thank you.
God bless.
Breakfast is served and I'll beseeing you guys next week.
Take care.
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