Growing Patience: Tools, Stories, and the Calm in the Waiting

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(00:00):
today's episode is titledGrowing Patience.

(00:03):
Tools, stories, and the calm inthe waiting tool stories and the
calm in the waiting.
So I can tell you right now,patience is definitely one of
the aspects of my life that I'vebeen working on for a very, very
long time.
And I did some, uh, extensiveresearch for you all.

(00:23):
Uh, and I'm, I'm excited to kindof share some of the stuff that
I came up with.
And I know that a lot of you aregoing to get a lot of takeaways
from today's segment.
So let's get ready to jump intoit if you're new.
Typically, the first couple ofminutes we're sharing different
life hack, fun facts, differentpersonal development shares.
Uh, today's share.
This morning we're gonna becovering a share from the Daily

(00:45):
Stoic, and this is.
On protecting our inner fortressfrom fear.
So, uh, this book is by RyanHoliday, by the way.
It's all on stoic philosophy.
One of my favorite reads andevery single day is a different
share on stoic philosophy.
So, uh, here we go.
Protecting our inner fortressfrom fear.

(01:07):
No, it is events that give riseto fear.
Um, no.
It is events that give rise tofear When another has power over
them or can prevent them, thatperson becomes able to inspire
fear.
How is the fortress destroyed?
Not by iron or fire, but byjudgments.

(01:28):
Here is where we must begin, andit is from this front that we
must seize the fortress andthrow out the tyrants Epictetus
from his discourses.
So the stoics give us amarvelous concept, the inner
citadel.
Is this fortress.
They believe that protects oursoul.
Though we might be physicallyvulnerable, though we might be

(01:50):
at the mercy of fate.
In many ways our inner domain isimpenetrable, as Marcus Aurelius
put it repeatedly.
In fact, stuff cannot touch thesoul.
But history teaches us thatimpenetrable forces, uh,
fortresses can still be breachedif betrayed from the inside, the

(02:11):
citizens inside the walls, ifthey fall prey to fear or greed
or avarice can open the gatesand let the enemy in.
This is what many of us do whenwe lose our nerve and give into
fear.
You've been granted a strongfortress.
Don't betray it.
So really good share.
And in short, it's basicallytelling us to, to make sure that

(02:34):
we manage our fear.
I remember hearing John F.
Kennedy say that the only thingthat we should fear is fear
itself.
And why is that?
Because when you have fear, whenyou think about it, typically
you're operating from a place ofsurvival.
You're operating from a place ofdesperation instead of
inspiration.
And I know I most certainly havebeen there, where when emotion

(02:56):
is high, logic is low and it'svery difficult to make really
great decisions when you're inthat state of survival.
When your sympathetic nervoussystem is kicking in and that
that fight, flight, or freezestate is activated, it is
essential to get yourself backon an even keel, get yourself
back emotionally stable so thatyou can make critical decisions.

(03:19):
So remember, as the Africanproverb states that there is no
enemy within the enemy outsidecan do us no harm.
So really, really great share.
And uh, just a heads up.
So we have some exciting thingsalways happening within our
community and I know that, uh,we're actually putting together
some group trips for 2026, sowe'll be keeping you guys in the

(03:41):
loop with that.
Also, I've been mentioning toyou all that, um, I have a, um,
actual masterclass coming upthis Saturday.
So this Saturday at 12:00 PMEastern, I'm going to be doing a
free masterclass for ourcommunity.
We're getting ready to go intothe last quarter of 2025, and
it's crazy to think that so muchtime has gone by.

(04:02):
I feel like we were juststarting the year and here we
are approaching the very lastquarter of 2025.
So I've been getting a lot ofpeople asking me about.
Coaching, consulting, speaking,podcasting, this, you know, um,
this, this whole world.
And, um, I felt like it wasreally, really timely to release
some type of a podcast on howpeople can monetize their

(04:26):
mission.
So, uh, basically, uh, for thosewho are still like working on
reaching their financial goals,a lot of people can use like an
extra.
You know,$2,000 a month, forexample.
Uh, if you're working yourfull-time job and it just ain't
cutting it, chances are you needsome additional source of
income.
So, um, what I did was I puttogether a program and offered a

(04:48):
bunch of scholarships to ourBreakfast Club community.
And basically with this program,we're going to be showing you
guys and teaching you, uh, it'sgoing to be three months long,
uh, for the entire quarter, lastquarter of 2025.
And we're going to be teachingyou guys how to monetize your
mission, how to be able to getpaid for what, you know, and we

(05:09):
all specialize in something.
We all have experience insomething or knowledge in
something, and it is supervaluable to be able to know how
you can package that knowledgeand be able to bring in revenue
for yourself.
So, uh, this week I'm reallyexcited on Saturday, make sure
that.
You guys are tuning in.
It's gonna be a free masterclassfor everyone.

(05:29):
Lot of great information sharedon here and just DM me the word
masterclass and I can alwayssend you the registration link
and we can take it from there.
And also, we have our creator'sconference happening, uh,
October 11th in St.
Pete, Florida.
So this is for people who arelooking to scale and build their
brands and businesses online.

(05:51):
And if that's you, if you wannalearn from our creators, we
have, uh, an entire panel andlineup of amazing creators.
And business owners,entrepreneurs, coaches, all that
good stuff, who are gonna becoming to the, the James Museum
in St.
Pete, Pete, Florida.
So it's our second annual one.
Super excited about that.
Um, if you would like info onhow you can get registered for

(06:13):
that, hit me up, um, as soon aspossible because tickets will
sell out.
So with that being said, let'skeep this show going on today's
segment, which is GrowingPatience Tools, stories, and the
Calm in the waiting.
So these's a really cool intro.
Now we all live in a culture ofspeed, instant access.

(06:34):
Think about it to informationfast food next day, delivery,
rapid replies.
We all got some kind of AmazonPrime set up where everything is
fast and we're so accustomed tothis microwave.
Mentality or just this, we,we've adopted a microwave
mentality in this generation,and it is important to

(06:56):
acknowledge that because alongwith that, speed comes
frustration when life doesn'tmove as fast as we want.
I'm not sure how many of you canrelate to it, but I'm most
certainly can.
A lot of things throughout thecourse of my life.
Um, I I can honestly say that itrarely happens at the time that
I want it to happen.
So, uh, today's episode we'regonna be diving deep into, uh,

(07:18):
something many of us overlook,and that is patience.
What it really means, why it canfeel so hard to be patient, and
more importantly, practicaltools and mindset shifts for
cultivating more patients inyour life.
So again, make sure that you'retaking some notes and I know
whether you've, uh, fallen shortwith loved ones or maybe you're,

(07:41):
uh, simply anxious while waitingor frustrated by delays with
setbacks.
This definitely, uh, thisepisode is going to be for you.
So let's slow down today andprocess everything that we're
gonna be sharing with you.
Uh, you'll hear some really,really great concepts, and I'm
excited for you guys.
So let's get ready to jump rightinto it and cover what is

(08:03):
patience and why it matters.
What is patience like?
When you think about patience,what do you think about?
If you had to explain ordescribe what it means to have
patience, what would you say?
I know the first thing thatcomes to mind for me, at least
when I think of patience, Ithink of just being.

(08:24):
Being calm, right when thingsare, are taking a lot longer
than you would like, notreacting so easily.
And I know throughout the courseof my life, especially in my
early years, I was super, superimpatient.
Like everything had to happenvery, very fast.
I'm one of those people when Iwant something, I want it.
I don't wanna wait, I want, Iwant that thing asap.

(08:46):
So, um, it, it can be very, veryfrustrating, uh, when you,
you're, you're wanting somethingso bad and it's taking a lot
longer.
And sometimes it's likeborderline discouraging, right?
Because it's just taking solong.
And I know many, many timesthroughout the course of my
entrepreneurial journey, forexample, a lot of my goals, they

(09:06):
rarely happened on the date thatI set them to happen.
Typically, it took a lot longerand you're gonna have to create
this internal compass fornavigating through.
The the seasons where you haveto wait, where you have no
option but to wait, because noteverything is always going to be
within your control.

(09:27):
Sometimes the, the things thatyou want the most are dependent
on outside factors.
So how do you kind of orientyourself so that you can
properly navigate in thosewaiting seasons?
And that's what we're gonna becovering.
So in psychological terms,waiting calmly in the face of
frustration, adversity or delaytolerating discomfort without

(09:50):
reacting impulsively.
That's what it basically meansfrom a psychological standpoint.
So remember, there are differenttypes of patients as well, so
I'll cover some of those.
For example, number one, uh,daily hassles.
So think of all the smallinconveniences that you face
throughout.

(10:10):
That could be traffic, thatcould be lines slow internet.
I actually came across a studyyears ago.
I don't know how true it is, butI'm sure there, it's, it's
pretty close to accurate.
And the article said that wewill spend up to a quarter of
our lives just waiting, waitingin traffic, waiting in lines,

(10:31):
waiting for something about aquarter of our lives.
Think about that.
So for those of you who drivethrough traffic every morning, I
mean, some people I know drivethrough over two hours worth of
traffic.
And then there's just certainthings that you're just waiting
on throughout the course of theday.
So, uh, this is something that,uh, you, you're gonna have to

(10:52):
get a grip on because it's like,okay, well if you know that
you're going to spend asignificant amount, even if it's
not a quarter of your life, evenif it was just 10 or 15% of your
life waiting, what do you doduring those moments of waiting?
Like, what exactly do you havegoing on?
I know a prime example would bejust certain financial goals

(11:14):
that I have.
I may have not always reachedthose financial goals, but what
I would do in the process isjust continue to develop my
skills, continue to grow myself,build my brand, things like
that, and, and read the books,go to the seminars, listen to
the audios, and, and that's whatI would do in those waiting
seasons because all of thosethings essentially stack in
value.

(11:34):
So it is good to always, uh,just ensure that you're not
staying there just waiting like,like a, like a helpless victim,
right.
You, you're, you're beingproactive and you're also
telling your brain that betterdays are ahead.
You're, you're anticipatingbetter days ahead because you're
actively putting things in placeso that when the time does come,

(11:58):
remember you're prepared.
So they say luck is whenpreparation meets opportunity.
And the harder you work, theluckier you get that, that's
just the way it's worked out forme as well.
So in that waiting season, whatare you doing for the meantime?
To continue to develop yourself,to continue to prepare yourself
for when opportunity doespresent itself.

(12:20):
The second type of patience isinterpersonal patience.
And this is specifically withpeople.
This is probably my, my numberone flaw, uh, when it comes to
patience especially, isinterpersonal patience.
I know with my wife, forexample, like there's so,
there's just so many timespatience has been, I would say
the number one issue in marriagefor me personally has been

(12:44):
patience.
And, um, I know sometimes not,not all women, but many women
like to take their time justgetting ready, fixing their hair
up, getting all dolled up andeverything like that.
And of course as men we love it,but.
There are times where you haveto get things done or you have
to catch a reservation or maybethere's an excursion happening
on your vacation and it can besuper frustrating.

(13:07):
So this has been a lifelongjourney for me personally, but
interpersonal patients, uh,definitely something that I've
worked on a lot over the years.
And I'm curious for you guys,like which form of patience do
you struggle with?
Okay.
The third is long-term orhardship, patience.
So waiting out bigger lifechallenges.

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And this is a big one becauselife really does be life lifeing
for a lot of us.
And um, for most people that'sthe human experience, right?
And it can be super frustratingwhen you've been working on
something for so long and youjust do not see the
breakthrough.
And one of the things that Ifound encouraging over the years

(13:50):
has been just looking up the.
The stories of very influentialand successful people, and
oftentimes you'll find a lot ofcommonalities, you'll find a lot
of similarities with the journeylike Fort Fortifying themselves
with, with just resilience.

(14:11):
Think about it.
A lot of people who'veaccomplished some significant
things, it took a long time tofinally get there and reading
their their stories or readingabout their stories.
It's always reassuring becausefor me, I always have to remind
myself like, Josh, what makesyou think you're so special that
you're gonna be exempt from allof those struggles that the

(14:32):
greatest people had to endure?
So this is just a big part ofthe process, and learning about
those who came before youreally, really does help.
So why it matters?
Okay.
There's tons of mental healthbenefits when it comes to just
dealing with when patients,because.
Again, when you are just waitingand waiting and waiting,
sometimes you can find yourselfgetting very discouraged.

(14:55):
You could find yourself justgetting down and out, or
sometimes you just lose yourwill to continue fighting
because it's just taking solong.
I see this happen all the time.
You'll see people pursuing theirdream.
Let's say they wanted to be an,an entertainer, maybe an actor,
a singer, or something likethat, and they're, they're just

(15:15):
riding the struggle bus for somany years, living that start
artist's life.
And sometimes you can growresentment with the very thing
that you once love so dearly.
So it is important to make surethat you, again, properly orient
yourself so you have the rightperspective throughout your
journey.
So there's tons of mental healthbenefits, like, um, reduce

(15:38):
negative emotion, moresatisfaction, less stress.
There's actually an article onthe calm publication or the calm
app, and it's on, uh, patient.
Patience notes, um, that itimproves self-control,
self-compassion, and helps withlong-term goals and wellbeing.

(15:59):
So really, really a greatarticle for those of you who
have the CALM app.
And when it comes torelationships, patience also
improves empathy.
It reduces misunderstanding, andyou have less reactivity.
And this is actually from theskill of patient's article.
And, uh, I, I could, I couldn'tagree anymore.

(16:20):
I know, uh, for example, when,whenever I put myself in my
wife's shoes and do my best tolike, empathize on, okay, this
is taking a lot longer.
And I remember moving to TheBahamas and understanding like
the island culture and you know,you have island time, which is a
real thing.
So I'm from New York City andeverything is time is money.

(16:44):
But when you go to the islands.
It's just very different.
It's a different pace of life,and you have to get yourself
acclimated and, and empathize byhaving a better understanding
of, of what that life is like.
And it's not to say that one isbetter than the other, right?
It's not to say that one is morevalid.
It, it's really just gettingaccustomed to your environment

(17:06):
and, uh, empathizing by having abetter understanding of how the
culture works.
Or, for example, if a woman istaken super long to get
beautiful many times, likeyou're gonna benefit from that
if you're going on a date.
Right?
Like, that's, that's a, that'san amazing thing.
Uh, she's taken the time, itshows that she actually cares
and, uh, not only about, youknow, herself, but maybe she

(17:29):
cares about her appearance goingout, looking nice with you, or,
um, all of that.
So there, there's, and then it'slike if your partner feels more
confident because they took thetime to really get themselves
all dolled up, like.
It's a really good thing, butyou have to have the right
perspective because if in yourmind you don't care about any of
that, you just want to be ontime, of course, it's gonna be

(17:52):
super frustrating sometimes alsosetting your intention if you,
if you know you're with someonethat takes a little longer to
get ready, and sometimes it's usfellas, like I, I have plenty of
friends who these brothers are,are very just, uh, they take
their time getting, gettingthemselves ready, and, um,

(18:12):
sometimes it is the men thattake longer.
And the thing about it is, uh,if you, if you're with someone
that does take longer, you haveto set your intention in advance
and put things in place.
Maybe like one of the, one ofthe, the strategies that I've
used over the years is if I knowI have to be at an appointment

(18:33):
at seven o'clock, like I'mgetting up an hour earlier or
I'm gonna mention to my wife,Hey, we have to be there at six.
Not that it starts at six, butwe have to be there at six just
in case we go over.
It's like we're still on time.
So there's little things thatyou can do here and there, uh,
to kinda work with these, theserelationships and, and just kind

(18:54):
of work through your, yourimpatience.
So, um, now when it comes to,uh, life satisfaction, being
able to accept what you can'tcontrol, right?
Uh, this is a big part of itbecause if you truly wanna be
satisfied with your life, youhave to let go of what you can't
control.
That's the premise of stoicphilosophy.

(19:16):
That's why I cover it so much,because it's very practical way
of living.
When you just have theperspective of, you know what,
I'm gonna focus on what I cancontrol, and I'm gonna let go of
what I can, what I can't.
Okay.
Another thing is respondingrather than reacting.
So many times when we'reimpatient, we're just quick to
react.

(19:36):
But you could also just respondproperly based on the
circumstances, and you also havethe ability to enjoy the present
more.
I know when I let go ofimpatience, whenever I just go
with the flow and just let itrock, like I realize that I have
a much better time.
And that's one of the, thebiggest benefits to, to all of

(19:57):
this.
So, um, there's, there's commonobstacles to patients that I
wanted to share as well.
So one of the things is instantgratification culture.
This is a big, big part of ourculture today, and there's
expectations of speed.
It's interesting because ifyou're doing in business in the
Americas sometimes like time is,is money, right?

(20:19):
And I should say North Americaspecifically, because if you go
to, let's say parts of SouthAmerica or through the Caribbean
business is done very different.
It's not like super, super fast.
In, in North America we havethese expectations of speed and
it just doesn't work like thatall around the world.
So it is important to be mindfulof that.
Another thing when it comes toobstacles is just stress

(20:43):
fatigue.
Your just overall mood.
When you're tired or depleted,you're more likely to lose
patience.
So sometimes it's like you mayjust be hangry.
It's not that you are impatientat your core.
You know, you, you may just be alittle moody.
Maybe you're a little stressedout.
And that's why it is alwaysessential to, to kind of get

(21:04):
yourself back to equilibriumNow, um, over control.
It is a big one.
And I, I know for me, uh, whenI, when I was growing up, like
my mom was kind of like OCD, youknow, she had all these kids in
the house and she had to makesure that she was on it to keep
the order.
And I, I feel like a lot of myOCD ways when I was just

(21:27):
starting out in life kind ofcame from that, like just being
exposed to that way of life.
And, um, over control was a big,big part of just my development.
I had to like, let go of a lotof control because sometimes we,
we clinging to control a lot.
We want more certainty, so wetend to micromanage and, and

(21:48):
want to control every facet oflife.
And you're gonna drive yourselfcrazy like that.
So you might as well get to aplace where you can let go of
trying to control everything.
Another thing is unresolved pastexperiences or impulses.
Sometimes your impulses.
Due to things that you've gone,you know, you've, you may have

(22:08):
gone through in the past.
So it is good to have theawareness of that.
Okay.
Now, different, uh, aspects ofmy life where impatience has
cost me.
I know, uh, throughout myjourney, just navigating through
impatience has been a big, bigpart of the process.
And, uh, man, I can tell you,like there, I remember when I

(22:30):
first got started in businessand I remember thinking to
myself, like, I, I, I, Iremember a story of, um, when I
first started in business, likeI was in travel and, you know,
we were, we were essentially,um, selling, you know, travel
memberships in the marketplace.
And I remember a mentor of mine,she had, uh, printed out some

(22:54):
flyers and I remember thinkingto myself, man, if I just hand
out a bunch of these flyers.
I'm going to, um, you know, geta lot of customers.
And I remember just thinkingthat like, okay, like logically
speaking, if I just buy a bunchof flyers and people see the,
the, the benefit of what I have,then I'm gonna get a lot of
calls.
And I remember getting up, uh,this was probably like my first

(23:16):
two weeks in business and I getup, I, I bought like thousands
and thousands of, of theseflyers.
So I, I, I get up like at three30 in the morning, uh, with my
boy, uh, Miguel at the time, andhe was like my business partner
just starting out on that firstendeavor.
And I get these flyers and whatwe do is we, we walk all

(23:37):
throughout the Bronx in NewYork, and we put the flyers on
these cars.
So we are like, you know, andthe reason why we got up so
early is because we didn't wantpeople to know that the flyer
boy was also the business owner,right?
So it, it ain't a good look ifthat's your business.
And you're also the one justputting the flyers on all the,
uh, on all the cars.

(23:58):
So, long story short.
We're putting the flyers, wespent like hours and hours.
Finally, it was morning time andwe were done.
Like we were tired.
We had put, loaded up all thecars in the neighborhood with
these flyers and we say, youknow what?
Let's, let's catch up on somesleep and then get up and just
get ready for, I guess, thisoverflow of calls that were

(24:18):
gonna be coming in.
So anyway, the next morning, uh,we, well, we get up probably
like around 11:30 AM and then welook out, we come out, uh, where
we were staying and we lookoutside and it had rained.
And the reason why I bring up ithad rained is because there were
literally, we could see peopletrying to scrape the flyer off

(24:43):
the windshield, literally, liketrying to just scrape because
the, the, the flyer got stuck onthe, the windshield and all of
those cars that we pretty muchput flyers on.
Got stuck on these wins.
So you saw a bunch of like stuckflyers on these cars.
And the reason why I bring thatup is because handing out flyers

(25:06):
wasn't even the most effectiveway to go about my business.
But I was impatient and I wantedit to happen super fast and I
was taking shortcuts.
And those shortcuts cost me alot of frustration.
So more love the story is bemindful of when you're trying to
take shortcuts because you maythink it's a shortcut, but it

(25:27):
actually prolongs the process.
I end up spending all this moneymore time on something that
wasn't even affected.
Okay.
And I, I had learned, I hadn'tgone to a training event at that
point in time, so I didn'treally know any better.
I was just kind of following mylead and it was a mentor that
had just started out in thatbusiness as well.

(25:50):
So.
She didn't really know exactlyhow to go about the business in
the best way.
But again, the biggest takeawayis be mindful of when you're
trying to take shortcuts andalso understand that those
shortcuts may very well be theone thing that prolong the
entire process.
So that's a big one.

(26:10):
Okay.
Now there's a story from anarticle on Psychology Today
that, uh, there was a pieceabout a person trying to stream
the Super Bowl, but dealing withtechnical difficulties, right?
And the patience required, plushow gratitude shifted
perception.
So really, really great articleand having technical

(26:33):
difficulties is something thatwe could probably all relate to.
I remember we, we startedadopting this, this term, uh, or
this phrase where when we werehaving technical difficulties
setting up presentations andthings like that, we just say,
champions adjust.
And we remind the audience, youknow, or everybody's shuffling
around like, okay, teamworkmakes the dream, dream work.

(26:55):
Champions adjust and remindingour audience that like, Hey, we
are, we're gonna do our best tojust figure this thing out.
And them seeing a lot of peoplejust seeing how we kind of
navigate through differentchallenges.
A lot of people wanted to be,uh, business partners with us
for that reason, because theysee like, okay, these are people

(27:16):
who are very resourceful.
They're, they're gonna figure itout.
They're gonna come together.
So sometimes having the rightperspective can go a long way if
there's delays, technicaldelays.
It's funny, I was watching TheBad Bunny concert and I was, it
was live streaming on Amazon,and I was just hoping to God,
uh, that the live stream did notscrew up because it was such a

(27:37):
phenomenal performance.
I'm not sure how many of youcaught it, but man, it was such
a beautiful moment in time.
And especially for me, myheritage is Puerto Rican
heritage.
I come from a Puerto Ricanfamily.
To see the magnitude of what heput together was absolutely
amazing.
Make sure you go check it out ifyou haven't done so.
But yes, technical difficulties,whether it's live streaming,

(28:00):
presentations, all that stuff,it happens.
And the, the thing about it isjust acknowledge it.
Uh, you know, you can even callit out if you're planning an
event and things aren't workingout, let people know, Hey, you
know, we're human too.
And, uh, these things happen.
Okay?
But always own up to yourmistakes.
Now, sometimes patience reallycomes from even going through

(28:22):
health challenges.
Sometimes you have healthchallenges and, uh, that, that
patience plays a major role inyour overall recovery or
resilience, right?
So, um, there's so much that youcan take away from different
seasons of your life thatrequire different aspects of
patience, whether it's yourhealth, whether it's
relationships or business andcareer, finances, all that

(28:44):
stuff.
There will be moments in yourlife where it's just.
Going to take longer than youexpect.
And I just choose to believethat God is cooking up something
even better, right?
He's not rushing, he's notrushing whatever it is that he's
cooking up for me.
So sometimes just being, beingcalm during the storm, being

(29:06):
calm, and just knowing that thistoo shall pass and there's
something great brewing up onthe other side, that perspective
alone will bring you the hopethat you need to get through.
Okay, so the next segment isgoing to be on tools and
practices to cultivate patients.
All right, so here's where thehow really comes in Now.

(29:27):
The first tool is mindfulnessand present moment awareness,
mindfulness and present momentawareness.
So tons of exercises that youcan do.
You guys hear me all the time,talk about different breathing
exercises.
So I love box breathing, forexample.
Inhale for four seconds.
Hold on, full lungs for empty,uh, four seconds, empty the

(29:48):
lungs four seconds, and thenhold those lungs on, empty lungs
for four seconds.
And I do this four times.
So great easy breathingtechnique that you can follow.
But there's a lot of differentones.
Sometimes when it comes tomindfulness, uh, you can have
mindfulness exercise, likeeating a fruit, right?
And focusing on differentsensations, being out in nature,

(30:10):
focusing on on the, on natureand, and things like that.
But there's so many differentways that you can go about
mindfulness exercises, and thishelps you kind of get your mind
off of what's stressing you out.
Okay?
The second thing is reframingand perspective shifts.
So sometimes it's just a matterof.

(30:30):
Just reframing whatever it isthat you're going through,
changing the way that you'relooking at whatever it is that
you're going through.
So in the storm, I like to justkind of reframe my, that season
of being in a storm, like, youknow what?
This is my comeback season.
Or maybe you just got out of astorm and you're doing all this
damage control, or you're justrebuilding.

(30:50):
You're in the process ofrebuilding your life.
Just reframing it as a comebackseason.
As you know what?
I built a very solid foundationand now I'm gonna bounce back
even bigger and stronger thanbefore.
Okay?
And remember when impatientstripes, just take some time to
breathe.
Observe what you're feelingwithout judgment.
Uh, and that can be just, youknow, going within and focusing

(31:14):
on your breath, focusing on, uh,the brighter side of things.
Okay?
Now remember to see the lay orwaiting, not as a waste of time,
but as opportunity to reflect,to reset.
For observation.
So it's always gonna be a greatopportunity for these things,
introspection.
Now, recognize also what's outof your control and focus on

(31:38):
what you can influence what'swithin the parameters of your
control.
And there's tons of really,really great articles and
resources on this that I woulddefinitely recommend checking
out.
Um, the third is aself-compassion, which is a huge
one.
Sometimes we just have to bekind to ourselves.
So being kind to yourself whenyou feel impatient,
understanding that this is alsopart of the human experience,

(32:02):
you're going to have to havetons of moments where you're
navigating through life and it'staking longer than you expect.
And it is good to reduceself-criticism, acknowledging
that impatience doesn't make youa bad person.
Impatience, like we all kind ofstruggle with that from time to
time.
And, uh, it doesn't mean thatyou know, you, you have this

(32:24):
major character flaw sometimes.
Impatience could actually workin your favor because you have
some pepper in your stat, right?
Like you're, you're takingaction.
You're very, uh, you're, you're,you're urgent when it comes to
things that have to get done.
And I've actually have seen thiswork very well, um, in, in the
business world.

(32:44):
I remember even talking to mywife about it.
I said, when I asked her, Isaid, Hey, would you rather me
like just be super laid back?
And I remember just having aheart to heart with her.
Like, look, I know this has gotto be annoying me just always on
top of things and like, Hey,let's go, let's go.
Like it's, you know, but when Iasked her, I had a heart to

(33:04):
heart moment with her, like,would you rather me not be like
this?
And to my surprise, she actuallyvalues the fact that I'm like
that.
You can't have two laid backpeople in a household.
It just, ain't it.
The kids are gonna walk all overyou and you're never gonna get
things done.
How are you gonna lead yourfamily if you have two

(33:25):
nonchalant people that have noconcept of time?
So she actually values thataspect of, of it.
But there's one, it's one thingto be impatient, but it's
another thing to be impatientand also mean Right.
To be an asshole.
Like when, whenever, like, and,and I've had plenty of moments

(33:46):
like that.
Like, yeah.
Like I can just say, Hey, wegotta go.
We gotta go.
But then I could just also bemean, like, Hey, why are you
always late?
Or whatever.
Like, so it, it, it is importantto be mindful of how you
communicate during times ofimpatience and doing your best
to speak from a place of logicand not necessarily get
emotionally charged up about itand understand that it's you.

(34:12):
Your partner versus the problem,not you versus your partner.
So if your partner, again, takesa little longer, right?
And you have to be on time, thenwork with your partner.
You know, don't just sit thereand, and, uh, complain about it
the entire time.
Number four is small practicemoments.
So using everyday minor delaysto train, waiting in lines,

(34:37):
letting traffic not ruin yourmood and et cetera.
So, uh, tons of small momentswhere you can just kind of
practice how you navigatethrough your patients.
Okay?
Another thing is purposefuldiscomfort.
So choose to delay smallgratifications.
Resist checking phoneimmediately and things like

(34:57):
that.
So there's so many thingsthroughout the course of the day
that are stripping us of ourdopamine.
And one thing I can tell you isscrolling through social media
definitely is one of the biggestones I know, especially for me.
The average person a day spendsover two hours a day on social
media.
So there's so many things thatwe do for instant gratification.

(35:20):
But what if you can beintentional about subjecting
yourself to purposefuldiscomfort because you know it's
better for you?
Okay.
And think about all the thingsthat you do throughout the day
where you do it for instantgratification.
Now, how many of those thingscan you just pause on?
Okay.
And this will be one of the mostvaluable skills in life.

(35:41):
I remember learning about themarshmallow experiment and they
had two test groups of children.
One children, one set ofchildren.
They said, Hey, uh, if you dothis, you can get the
marshmallow right away.
And then another, the other testgroup was, uh, they had the kids
practice, um, you know, just,uh, letting go of instant

(36:02):
gratification.
And they said, Hey, if youactually wait, we'll give you,
we'll reward you with, with moremarshmallows if you just wait.
So the first test group got themarshmallows right away.
The second test group wereforced to just wait to receive
even more marshmallows.
And they studied them throughoutthe course of their lives.
Crazy actual study.
Look it up.

(36:23):
And what they discovered is theones that went on to live better
lives, better quality lives werethe young children that were
able to subject themselves to,uh, not having instant
gratification, the ones thatwere able to prolong the
gratification.
And it's a super valuable skillin life if you can learn how to

(36:43):
prolong gratification.
And, and just wait it out.
Like it'll, it'll help you withso many aspects of life.
So really, really great, uh,study to look up, uh, if you
ever, if you ever wanna geek outabout these different concepts.
Okay, so small practice moments,big one.

(37:04):
Now, stress and fatiguemanagement.
Big, big part of the process.
Chances are if you're, if you'remoody, you're gonna be a lot
more impatient.
If you're hangry, you're gonnabe a lot more impatient.
Now, if you want more patience,if this is an area that you
really wanna work on, ensuregood sleep.
So whenever you're tired,understand that emotions are
gonna be more reactive.

(37:25):
That should, that's, that comeswith it.
So sleep is a big part of it.
Stress reduction is also anotherone.
And how do you reduce stress?
Exercise, meditation,relaxation, breathing, all that
good stuff.
Short walks.
You guys hear me talk about itall the time.
So there's a, a really greatarticle on the Cleveland Clinic

(37:45):
strategy, um, where there's aCleveland Clinic strategy and
it's all these differentstrategies for stress
management.
So, um, I always recommendexercise, like that's always
been therapy, gym therapy, supervaluable.
Meditation is a big part.
I actually meditate even themornings of the breakfast club.
I'm up at 5:00 AM but I stilltake time to meditate because it
just calms your nervous system.

(38:07):
And sometimes just taking sometime to relax.
Like you, you may need to evendecompress.
Maybe you, you can watch a goodshow that'll make you laugh.
All of this stuff most certainlyhelps, and I know Sundays are
beautiful days for me because Itake time to just, you know,
kick it with my family and justrelax and not do much.
And it's always a great way toreset.

(38:29):
So this is a big part of theprocess.
Number six is empathy andlistening.
So in interpersonal.
Uh, patients trying to seeanother person's point of view,
letting them finish speaking.
I know I had to work on that bigtime in my early years and
holding back quick judgements.
So, um, in the ClevelandClinic's tips, they talk a lot

(38:52):
about this and, uh, this is abig, big part of interpersonal
patience and many times we losepatience with people.
Think about it, like you mayhave some coworkers or maybe
some, some, uh, employees thatyou're working with, team
members that you're workingwith, where you get super, super

(39:12):
impatient and just remember, noteverybody's like you, not
everybody's like me.
And sometimes we have to remindourselves like that.
Like we, we just expect theworld to be like us, the world
to operate the way we operate.
If you are someone that is ago-getter, self-starter, can get
things done really, reallyquick.

(39:33):
Understand that that is a giftthat, that, that is not
applicable to every person onthe planet.
People have different gifts andskill sets and, and all that
stuff.
And it is important to remindyourself like, Hey, not
everybody's like that.
I am rare.
I'm, I'm paid in the marketplacefor that characteristic that I

(39:53):
bring to the table possibly.
So having empathy on, on, onthis is super important.
Number seven is gratitude.
So regular practice of gratitudeshifts focus from what you don't
have and what's delayed towhat's present and positive.
Okay?
So there's a really greatarticle on Psychology Today, um,
on patients.
Uh, and it mentions all thingsgratitude.

(40:18):
Super important.
I mean, I, I take time everysingle day to just count my
blessing.
Starting out your day like thatis going to be one of the most
valuable things that you can dobecause sometimes when you're
stressed out and life is life,and the very first thing on your
mind is how are you gonna paythem bills?
How are you gonna deal withthis?
How you're gonna deal with that,that relationship, the health
challenges that you're currentlyfacing.

(40:39):
And if you start immediatelywith gratitude, just know that
two thoughts cannot occupy themind simultaneously.
So you're not going to be in astate of overwhelming anxiety
stress if you're also in a stateof gratitude.
It just doesn't work that way.
So that's the power ofgratitude.
And lastly, number eight,creating calming routines for

(41:01):
impatient moments.
So maybe you have go-tostrategies, whether it's
breathing, stepping away,visualization, journaling, but
there's so many go-to calmingroutine ideas that you can
implement.
And just to recap, tools andpractices to cultivate patients.
Number one was mindfulness andpresent moment awareness.

(41:23):
Number two, reframing andperspective shifts.
Number three, self-compassion.
Number four, small practicemoments.
Number five, stress and fatiguemanagement.
Number six, empathy andlistening.
Number seven, gratitude.
And number eight, creatingcalming routines for impatient
moments.
All really, really great tools.

(41:44):
Now there's tons of research.
I like being a nerd when itcomes to a lot of these personal
development tactics.
Uh, one of the, the pieces ofresearch that I came across
yesterday was the, the SCHsnickers research showing how
patients in various domains,whether it's daily hassles,
interpersonal, or even hardshipthat you're dealing with, it

(42:05):
correlates with greaterwellbeing.
So cultivating that spirit ofpatience, sometimes I believe
that God puts us through thesechallenges.
To cultivate more patience inlife, right?
Have more empathy.
Sometimes that's all you you'vegot is the ability to just wait
it out and be resilient, okay?
But, uh, there, there arestudies that show that just

(42:30):
having, uh, patients are showingpatients, whenever you're
dealing with these differentthings, it does correlate to
greater wellbeing.
Okay?
Now there's, uh, there's, so,uh, ma many, like just short
trainings as well that identifytriggers, uh, or even regulating
emotions.
Meditation, uh, all of thesethings in patients, uh, resulted

(42:52):
in measurable increases duringthese trainings.
So, um, having more emotionalintelligence, whenever you're
getting riled up, it goes a longway.
And here's some, uh,psychological mechanisms as
well.
So how are brain responds towaiting and delay?
Um, which is huge because youhave reward systems, dopamine,

(43:15):
and, uh, defaults to discomfortso many different aspects.
So if you have an understandingof how your brain works and how
it navigates, uh, to just havingto wait.
I know there are people, forexample, um, that I know some of
my friends, like, they can't bein silence.
They can't just sit there andwait with like nothing going on.

(43:35):
They always have to bestimulated by some kind of music
or some noise and, and somepeople operate like that.
And it is, it is essential tokind of like do that
self-inventory of how do youshow up when there's nothing
going on and you just have tosit there with yourself, with
your emotions.
Some people who are, uh, veryafraid of, of, of dealing with

(43:57):
their emotions are some of thevery people that can't be by
themselves alone in a quietspace.
Okay?
So how can you work on thataspect of your life?
Okay.
There's also a role of cognitiveand emotional flexibility.
So how meditation or dautomization helps shift
habitual reactivity, similar tofinding in research, like

(44:21):
increasing cognitive emotionalflexibility with meditation and
hypnosis.
And this is from the r uh, XIVnotions.
Uh, you know, tons of reallygreat resources out there.
And also when it comes toresearch, uh, there's a balance
between patients and passivity.

(44:41):
So it's important to notmisunderstand patients as
resigning or giving up.
That's a big one because I knowthroughout the course of my
journey sometimes when yourealize like something is just
not for you.
And some people can look at itas just giving up on whatever it
is that you're going through,but sometimes it's just good to

(45:02):
acknowledge when.
You know what this season is,it's over for this season, and
this no longer serves me.
This season is, is definitelynot the most conducive for where
I wanna go.
And it doesn't mean that you'regiving up sometimes if you need
to take a break from something,right?
It, it doesn't mean that you'reresigning, it's just you need to

(45:22):
take some time for yourself,take some time for your
self-care to really catchyourself.
Sometimes you have to go intothat season of spiritual
selfishness so that you can fillyour cup and get back to doing
what you know best.
So be unapologetic about that.
We all have our different waysof processing things, and the
biggest thing is really just tohave that self, self-compassion

(45:42):
for yourself and, and understandthat you know what, we're all a
work in progress.
We're all doing our best here,and it's okay to take some time
to really catch yourself andreset.
Take some time to regroup witheverything.
Okay?
It's an active stance.
So responding overreacting,choosing acceptance verse
resentment.
Major, major takeaway.

(46:04):
Now as we get ready to bring theplan in for a landing, here's
some also, um, some practicalexercises and reflection.
So, um, these are just a fewsimple exercises that you can
take away.
The very first one isimpatience, trigger mapping.
So think about this, think aboutthe last time you felt really

(46:27):
impatient the last time.
I know for me, I, when I was outin, uh, we went to Barcelona
and, and Lisbon, Portugal overthe summer and you know, we're
on, um, some of it was like on aitinerary and like we have to
catch trains and, and buses andall this different stuff.
So I'm already like gettingsuper antsy and typically that,

(46:48):
like when I go on vacation, Ikind of get like that and I
always have to set my inten andmy intention before I go on
vacation to say, okay, hey,like, it's okay if you miss the
bus and you have to catch thenext one.
It's all good.
Right?
Reminding, um, ourselves ofthat.
And, um, so you asked yourselfwhat triggered it?
What triggered you feeling superimpatient?

(47:10):
What were you expecting?
How did you respond?
And what thoughts were runningduring that time?
So you can do all kinds ofstuff, whether it's pause,
write, or reflect for a momentwhen these things do arise.
And I know for me, uh, one ofthe things that that really has

(47:31):
been helpful has been beingintentional with how I respond,
being kind with my response,right?
Being more articulate, beingjust a better communicator,
whether it's dealing with, uh,my wife or my children or people
that I lead, right.
Employees, things like that.
So, uh, being mindful of thecommunication when I'm in those

(47:54):
spaces.
'cause sometimes you don't havethe luxury of being patient.
You just don't.
Okay.
So that's a big part of it.
Exercise two is a shortmindfulness, a short mindfulness
breathing.
So it could be honestly a twominute breathing exercise,
inhale and exhale, uh, whetherit's the box breathing, things
like that.
Um, noticing that you're havingtension.

(48:15):
Where in your body do youexperience tension?
When you are feeling veryimpatient or you're losing your
patience?
Okay.
And taking two minutes to justcatch yourself and breathe and
release that tension can go along, long way.
The third is gratitude shift.
Okay?
So you can have a gratitudeshift.
So immediately, whenever youfind yourself in a space of

(48:39):
impatience, think of three tofive things in your life right
now or in that moment that aregoing well or that you even
appreciate and encourage, right?
Um, or you should, you should beencouraged to just journal about
it.
It does absolutely help to, tojournal about whatever it is
that you're going through.

(49:00):
I can't tell you, like, I can'tspeak more of the benefits of,
of journaling and I hope thatyou guys are implementing it in
some shape or fashion with, withyour life.
And lastly, uh, a reframingpractice.
So you can take a scenario ofwaiting or delay that you dread,
right?
And what might be another way tosee it, whatever it is that

(49:22):
you're dealing with.
How could this waiting bringsomething positive or even give
you space for other things?
So perhaps it's like you'resitting in traffic, you know
you're gonna be in traffic.
You hate waiting while thetraffic comes, but what if you
could just tune into a podcastand learn something?
What if you can develop anentirely new skill?

(49:43):
What if you can learn alanguage?
There's so much that you can doin the process of waiting.
So that, that has most certainlyhelped me throughout my journey
or sometimes.
You're just inundated with lifeand you're, you don't even have
time to spend with yourthoughts.
And those moments could bethose, those times during the

(50:03):
day where you can just like,spend time with your thoughts.
That's why I love driving.
I love driving because while I'mdriving, if it's a 25 minute
drive, it's also not just a 25minute drive, but a time to
spend time with my thoughts,right?
And really just reflect.
Or maybe you just wanna listento some music, boost your mood a
little bit, and all of thatstuff definitely helps.

(50:26):
So before we wrap up, uh,remember, um, there's so much
that you can do here.
Okay.
Um, it's also important toacknowledge.
Maybe your self-talk around yourpatients.
So I had to tell myself foryears that I have patience,
right?
Because I, I had reallystruggled with it for, for so

(50:46):
long that I had to have likethese affirmations or just
reframe the way that I was goingabout my, my language around it.
Okay?
So instead of saying, forexample, I try, but I always
snap, you could even ask, how doI stop reactive behavior with
this, right?
And really just take some timeto really process that.
Okay?
And does being patient meanletting people take advantage of

(51:10):
me or you, or you not standingup for yourself, right?
Having that shift in perspectiveand remember, patience is not
passivity.
It's about choosing yourresponse, not letting emotions
control your actions.
You can still have boundariesand a certain needs and patience
helps you do that with clarity.

(51:32):
Okay.
Sometimes you have to usetimeouts self-talk.
I will wait.
This will pass.
Practice.
Putting a pause between stimulusand reaction.
I know my wife and I, one of thethings that we had implemented,
like whenever we started gettingall route up about something, we
would just come back to it alittle later.
Like, we'll give ourselves sometime to relax and catch

(51:55):
ourselves and then address itlater.
And nine out of 10 times, you'regonna be in a much better mood
and you're gonna deal with it ina much better way.
Okay, some of you may believeyou don't have time for
meditation, right?
Or long practices.
Um, or are, you know, are shortthings useful?
Think about it from thatstandpoint, right?
So even the small moments domatter.

(52:17):
The daily brief breathing, manypauses, micro, micro,
mindfulness exercises, all ofthose things definitely help.
So it doesn't have to be 20minutes.
And by the way, if you don'thave about 10 minutes with just
some prayer, meditation, youdefinitely need to reevaluate
some things because it's notabout just prayer, meditation.

(52:38):
Listen, it's, it's about justtapping in with yourself.
It's about priming yourself forthe day ahead and being the very
best version of, of, of you, andshowing up for your loved ones
the way that you need to.
Okay?
Um, sometimes you're asking howlong until I see change, and it

(52:59):
really just depends.
Some shifts you might noticequickly where you're feeling
calmer or in small weights,right?
Others take, you know,consistent work at it.
Like it just takes a long periodof time.
But be kind to yourself andunderstand that it, it, it is a
gradual process.
So putting it all together,here's a suggested seven day

(53:22):
plan for you guys.
Um, and you can, you can justimplement these things in a
seven day period for, uh, morepatients.
Okay, so here, here they are,day one.
You can identify your biggestimpatience triggers, whatever
that is for you and generalabout one situation every time
you feel it.

(53:43):
Okay?
And the second, the second day.
Day two, could be practicemindfulness, breathing, two
minutes in the morning andevening, just taking some time
to connect, taking yourself totime to just really reflect.
Day three is when waiting,whether it's in a line or in
traffic, try reframing it.

(54:04):
See it as a moment to pause.
Don't look at it as a waste oftime.
I know for me, I used to look atit like I was wasting my life,
right?
Like I, I'd be so impatient thatlike, I, I just would feel like
I'm wasting time, right?
Like, I'm losing time.
But what if you're not losingtime, but really finding
yourself in the process.

(54:26):
What if that's really what'shappening, right?
Again, it's just a simplereframe.
Day four is gratitude practice.
So listing three small thingsthat you can be grateful for.
I always say out of the threethings, one of, one of the
things should be something soinsignificant that you really
don't express gratitude for, butthink about one, one thing every
single day.

(54:46):
That's probably insignificant tomost, but it's something that
you can be grateful for.
That can be the beautiful treeoutside of your home that
provides your home with shade orjust more beauty or whatever.
It can be the small breeze onyour face, but it, it, it
programs you to.
Essentially think of things thatyou're grateful for and you'd be
surprised at what you find.

(55:08):
Day five can be an empathypractice.
So in a conversation, you slowdown your responses and listen
fully.
Do not think about what you'regonna say right after the person
finishes or don't cut them off,but just listen fully and
deeply.
Day six can be purposefuldiscomfort, so delay small

(55:29):
gratification and see how youcan put it off.
And lastly, day seven is areflection, uh, exercise that
you can take, and that'sbasically looking back at your
progress, whether it's the last24 hours, the last week, the
last month, or even just theyear or even the last five to 10
years, but taking some time toreally reflect on your progress

(55:50):
and note where patients improve,set intentions for moving
forward.
So I know for me.
I've had to learn the hard way,but I, I can proudly say that
I've been getting better atcommunicating whenever I do get
impatient.
And again, it's a work inprogress.
Okay.
Um, so keeping a journalremember is gonna be super

(56:13):
valuable.
Whether it's just journalingabout those small wins or just
journaling about how you'refeeling, maybe you're in a whole
mood and the journaling could bethe one thing that helps you
throughout the course of theday.
All right.
So thank you guys for slowingdown with me today and really
taking some time to process whatexactly Patience is all about,

(56:34):
different tools.
I hope that this session wasvaluable for you and, uh, maybe
you thought about patience in away that you haven't in the
past.
And remember that patience isn'ta destination.
It's a journey.
And you'll have those moments offrustration, of waiting, of
discomfort.
Sometimes you'll revert back toyour old ways, but.

(56:54):
It doesn't mean that you failed,right?
They're just opportunities togrow even more to learn and to
choose your response.
That's really what it's about.
So even if you just try, one ofthe tools that we discuss here
today, um, you know, even ifit's, let's say, mapping your
triggers or doing some breathingexercises.
You're going to feel some typeof a shift, you're gonna feel

(57:15):
some difference, okay?
When it comes to just navigatingthrough impatience.
So if this was valuable for you,make sure you like, comment,
share, tag, subscribe if youcan.
Uh, it's greatly appreciated.
Thank you for all of you, uh,who do share the Breakfast Club
consistently on your socialmedia, uh, platforms.
Thank you for those who sharestars and all that good stuff

(57:35):
on, on Facebook.
You know, we stream everywhere,so it's truly appreciated.
Make sure you guys tap into thisweek's masterclass on Saturday.
It's free for everyone, and it'sbasically going to be me showing
you guys how to essentially, uh,earn an extra$2,000 a month, um,
with your expertise.
So whatever it is that youspecialize in, uh.

(57:57):
On your mission.
So looking forward to goingdeeper with that.
And, uh, if you wanna hear alittle bit more about the
program and the scholarshipsthat we have for our Breakfast
Club community, just DM me theword coach.
I'll be more than happy to sendsome information over to you.
So take care.
God bless you all.
Breakfast is officially servedand the goal for today is have

(58:18):
more patience.
Take care, and I'll be seeingyou guys next week.