Episode Transcript
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today's topic is going to becentered around stop thinking,
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start doing, and breaking freefrom overthinking to execute
your dreams.
So I'm a holistic life coach forthose of you who don't know.
And I typically, I hop ontelevision, podcasts, different
things like that, social mediaand talk about a lot of
different concepts a aroundcoaching.
And one of the things that I'vediscovered over the years, just
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working with many people on manydifferent projects is.
People tend to have what werefer to in the personal
development world as paralysisof over analysis, where you
think yourself out of anythingthat you're working on.
I'm not sure how many of you canrelate to that.
I know I definitely have beenthere where you tend to just
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overthink things, right?
Or maybe you get caught up inbeing perfect.
You get caught up in justwanting to do everything a
certain type of way and you endup not doing the thing at all.
And I know that this isdefinitely one of the things
that people struggle with themost.
I'm excited to share the valuehere because I know many of
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you're gonna be able to getvalue from this, especially for
those of you who are a bit onthe analytical side, like
myself.
I tend to be very analytical andsometimes it can be my biggest
downfall.
Let's get ready to jump rightinto it.
Let's see here.
We have some shares that we'regonna open up with before we
jump into the meat and potatoesof today's Breakfast Club
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session.
To get us kickstarted the veryfirst share is cultivate an
Abundance mentality.
And this is from the SevenHabits of Highly Effective
People.
Really great book, by the way.
And this flashcard, it says,describe what you could do to
think more abundantly, celebratethe strengths of yourself and
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others.
Stop comparing and shareresources.
So really good.
So celebrate the strengths ofyourself and others.
Stop comparing and shareresources.
I know for me transitioning intoa more abundant mentality.
When I was growing up we didn'thave a whole bunch we had a lot
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of love, but in terms of wealthI didn't come from a family of
wealth.
We grew up in the hood.
And one of the things that.
Tend to, or I guess a mindsetthat I would tend to take on was
a mindset of scarcity.
Like always being in survival ina sense, or accustomed to being
in survival.
And I adopted a scarcitymentality over the years, and it
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took a long time to finally geta grip on the understanding of
just abundant thinking.
Because abundant thinking,sometimes it, it doesn't seem a
logical way of thinking.
Sometimes logically we'rethinking, okay, let me save
money here.
Let me do whatever it is that Ican to prevent me losing more
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money or whatever.
And abundant thinking is theopposite of logical thinking in
the sense that.
Logically, yeah, it makes senseto just let's say save for a
rainy day or to make sure thatyou're not overspending.
But one of the things that hashelped me has been just
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transitioning this, my mindsetto there is enough, and if I
want it, I'm going to have it.
And one of the things that doesis when you transition into
abundance thinking you tend toelevate your standards for your
life.
You tend to elevate yourparadigm, if you will, where
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there, there's a saying thatluxuries become necessities,
right?
So if you're always in scarcitythinking let's just say you live
in a community that is not thebest community and you're just
there because you wanna savemoney on rent.
You could very well because ofscarcity thinking, trap yourself
into just that paradigm and thatway of living and always being
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fearful of taking that greatleap or elevating your family's
social status or quality of lifeor things like that.
So it is important to adopt thisabundance thinking, right?
It's the kind of like inalignment with what we're gonna
be talking about here today,which is centered around
overthinking.
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Because overthinking isoftentimes something that people
who are hyper analytical kind ofgo through, right?
So if you tend to be a littlebit on the analytical side, then
logically speaking you're like,okay, let me get the more
affordable place to live.
Let me get the more affordablevehicle.
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But if you go on your entirelife, just fearful of.
Not having enough.
Like how are you ever reallygonna stretch yourself?
And there's a fine line, right?
Because on one side of thespectrum, you wanna be
responsible.
You want to be a good steward ofyour wealth.
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But on the other side of thespectrum, it's like sometimes
you have to push yourself.
You have to stretch yourself.
You have to be the one to takethat great leap of faith.
And it's interesting because forthose of you who are
entrepreneurs, entrepreneurshipsometimes is not something that
you have to, or something thatyou should do very logically in
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a sense, because there are a lotof things in entrepreneurship
that logically speaking does notmake sense.
So for example, if you have anintuition, if you have a gut
instinct that tells you like,you know what I have a strong
belief that this is gonna work.
My gut is telling me that thisis going to.
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Happen and you follow through onyour gut instinct, oftentimes
your gut will lead you to thebest result.
Not all the time, but a lot oftimes it does.
And there have been countlesscases of tons of entrepreneurs
who they gone through verydifficult seasons and logically
speaking, it made sense to notcontinue forward, but they still
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did and they overcame whateverit is that they were going
through.
And I know for me, for examplewhen I was considering leaving
the workforce, like I left mysix figure career with benefits,
pension, all of that stuff topursue a business that was not
even paying me$500 a month.
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Logically speaking, it made nosense.
Like I, I spent all this timegoing to college, getting my
degrees, getting a Coast Guardlicense getting all this stuff
and going through this entireprogram to pilot vessels all
around the United States.
I had a highly paid skill andspent all of this time, it, it
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probably was about six years ofmy life to get to this arrival
point where I'm now in aposition where I'm making up to
a thousand dollars a day at thetime.
And I had the security, I hadeverything already set up and a
job that would always be indemand.
And I went the path ofentrepreneurship, right?
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And it, not only did I go thepath of entrepreneurship, I
didn't even have a steady incomethat was anywhere near what I
was making.
It took years for me to evenreplace that income.
Understand.
So logically speaking, it madeno sense.
But when it comes to yourdreams, sometimes it is not so
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logical.
It's head and heart.
It's a combination of the two.
You can't just think everythinglogically all the time, and
sometimes you have to put yourheart over the bar.
You have to wear your heart onyour sleeve.
You have to go out there andfollow your instincts.
And instincts are a veryimportant factor when it comes
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to just going after your dreams.
Sometimes it's more feeling thanit is thinking.
So ask yourself, do I trulybelieve that there is more than
enough for everyone when we havean abundance mentality, we are
not threatened by other successbecause we are secure in our own
self-worth.
This is super, super important.
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I always mention here in theBreakfast Club that one of the
things that I love about myclosest friends is they all have
their own thing going on.
Like my friends, they all dopretty well for themselves.
Like my core set of friends,they're project managers in
Manhattan, ENG engineers.
I have friends that, that runbig companies and all of this
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stuff and in really amazingpositions.
And they're running their ownlane.
There's no like competition.
Everybody's got their own thinggoing on and I love that.
I feel like relationships thrivewhen there, there isn't that
underlying jealousy, right?
When you really, genuinely wantthe best for your friends and
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you are comfortable in your ownskin and you're pursuing your
own path.
Okay?
Here's a great quote by StephenCovey, and that is the abundance
mentality flows out of a deepinner sense of personal worth
and security.
It is the paradigm that there isplenty out there and enough for
everybody.
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It's interesting becausesometimes you have people who
feel as if if this person wins,then that means I lose, or if
this person succeeds, that meansthat there's less for me.
And oftentimes it's just not thecase.
There is more than enough foreveryone.
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There's more than enough.
For all people in whatever fieldthat you're in.
And it is important to make surethat you're always adopting this
abundance mentality because ifyou don't, you're going to drive
yourself crazy looking ateverybody on social media and
you're seeing everybody winningor maybe posting up their
highlights because let's behonest, people don't really post
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the negative aspects of theirlives.
And you're seeing people winningand you have this, the, these
insecurities that start to popup like, man everybody's getting
it, but me.
You understand?
And that's what scarcity will doto you.
But you have to have thementality where, man, if they
can do it, I can do it A me toomentality.
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You can do it.
Me too.
I can do it as well.
You're, if anything, it goesfrom jealousy to inspiration.
You can look at people who aresucceeding and you know you've
got the right mindset when youcan see people winning in life.
Genuinely be inspired, genuinelybe like, you know what?
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That's incredible.
That they're paving the way forpeople like me showing what's
possible.
That should always be thementality.
Okay.
Root people on, cheer people on.
It's interesting too, becausesometimes what happens is you
have these little insecuritiesthat'll pop up from time to
time.
Even for myself I'll have thethese feelings of underlying,
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and I don't even wanna call itjealousy, but sometimes that
that little boy, that littlegirl just feels less than, it
feels like they're not enoughbecause they see other people
who are doing better than them.
And I, and whenever that popsup, like I always have to do my
part in silencing that voice.
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And if I see someone, forexample, posting on social media
and they hit a huge milestone.
I intentionally will like andcomment on them, especially
during those moments where thatlittle voice starts to creep in
and try to tell me that I'm notenough or tell me that I'm not
doing enough.
We're all like running our ownrace here, and it is important
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to run your own race.
Don't try to like, get up insomeone else's lane.
Run your own race.
Because remember, sometimes thatperson's chapter 20 is like your
chapter five, and you don't knowwhat they had to go through.
You don't know the underlyingwork that they had to do in
order to get to where they are.
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You can't be upset with theresults that you're not getting
for the work that you didn't do.
It is essential to always havethat perspective.
For example there are a lot ofthings that I'm limited on today
because the reality is I'm awhole dad.
I'm a husband, right?
I've got three children that I'mresponsible for.
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And yeah, I'd love to be outthere just traveling all the
time and living my best life andbeing wild and free.
But the truth is, I'mresponsible for other people,
right?
Like my wife, she homeschoolsand she she's not out there
working the nine to five grind.
And I always have to do my partto make sure that my family is
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good.
And because of that, it's yeah,there's certain things that I'm
not moving as fast with.
I'd love for my podcast to beeven bigger than it is and my
platforms to be bigger than theyare.
But I'm in my dad season andthat's fine.
So it would be insane for me tocompare myself to the
28-year-old dude that's outthere getting it bolster the
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wall, putting in 80 hour weeksand imagine if I compared myself
to that, right?
Or that person comparedthemselves to me.
You understand?
It's just like we all havedifferent lives.
We all have different startingpoints.
We all have just maybe certainthings like grace that was
bestowed upon you.
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Maybe you were born with asilver spoon in your mouth,
maybe you weren't right, but youhad to honor your journey and
wherever it is that you are andunderstand that you may be 35,
40, 45, even 50 years old andfeeling like you wasted all this
time.
That's actually not the case.
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There, there have been a lot ofvaluable life experiences that
you've you've gotten along theway and all those valuable life
experiences understand that.
You can end up having those lifeexperiences come back full
circle years later and you hadno idea how the dots were gonna
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connect until life just ended uphappening.
And you're like, oh, I get itnow.
I get it right.
All of those years that Ithought I wasted actually, that
wasn't the case today, you mayhave patience because of all the
time that it took.
So it is, again, essential tohonor your journey and
understand that your breakawaysuccess, it can happen in a
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year.
It can happen in a year, andthen it all of a sudden is
called an overnight success, butpeople don't realize.
Years and years you spent justcultivating your leadership,
cultivating your competence andso much more.
Okay, so next we have anothershare.
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And it's if love, success, orintegrity are important to you,
then they are part of yourvalues system.
A value is an emotional stateyou feel is very important
either to experience because ofthe pleasure you believe it will
bring or to avoid because of thepain you associate to it.
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All our decision making isdriven by these beliefs.
How will a given action help usmove toward a pleasure value?
Will it help us avoid or moveaway from a pain value?
What's one of the most importantpleasurable emotions you value
and what's a painful emotion?
You'll do almost anything toavoid.
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And this is really good because.
Think about like your journey.
Think about how many times youprobably did not pursue that
endeavor simply because you wereso consumed about what other
people would think.
You were so caught up in beingjudged, being criticized, and
you never pursued that, thatdream.
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And perhaps it's because youvalue maybe security, you value
being accepted and that's thevery thing that's sabotaging
whatever it is that you want.
So it is important to do thoseto have that self-inventory, if
you will, do that self-inventorywhere you're analyzing, okay,
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what is it that I value?
Maybe you value feelingsignificant and a lot of what
drives you is feelingsignificant.
Or maybe you value contribution,you value service to other
people.
So these are all a part of yourvalue system and what is it
that's driving you?
And also you have pushmotivations.
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You have pull motivations.
Sometimes the pain of goingthrough rejection is the very
thing that drives you.
Sometimes it's the pain of nothaving enough or the pain of
poverty, the pain or the fear ofnot being able to afford your
to, to pay your home or yourvehicle, right?
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These are things that drive usas human beings.
But it is important to analyzewhether or not that pain or that
push or that pull value isactually sabotaging what it is
that you truly want.
Because imagine, for example,you wanna pursue a path of being
an actor and you have thisaspiration to be an actor, but
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you also fear rejection.
Imagine fearing rejection, butyou also want to be an actor.
They're like, they'reconflicting values in a sense,
right?
Because one of your values isdoing everything in your power
to ensure that you don't have togo through rejection and be
accepted, but then you alsovalue wanting to become an
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actor, right?
And they're conflicting.
That's why it is essential toalways go through some of the
things that you're valuing anddetermine whether or not those
values are holding you back.
Next pleasure.
Values are known as movingtoward values.
They include such emotions aslove, joy, freedom, security,
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passion and peace of mind.
Pain values like rejection,depression, loneliness are known
as moving away from values.
As we make decisions, weconsider whether these pain or
pleasure states will be aconsequence.
Our actions in the next fewdays, you'll begin to clarify
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not only the emotional statesthat drive all of your
decisions, but also their orderof importance.
For example, you may value bothsecurity and adventure.
Determining which one is moreimportant to you will help you
be much more effective in makingdecisions consistent with what
will give you long-termhappiness.
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So one of the things that Ithink about is like I, I've
valued a lot over the years justhaving variety in my life and
value travel.
One thing that I always feltabout travel was that it would
never travel investing inexperiences like travel.
I was never going to regret themoney that I spent on travel and
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I for whatever reason I adoptedthis mentality very young and it
has served me well and it.
Proven me right over and overagain.
Would you guys agree?
Like whenever you invest moneyin travel and experiencing new
experiences, like it's one ofthe best things you could
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possibly spend money on.
You may regret spending money onthat bag or spending money on
just that overpriced vehiclethat you buy.
But you will not regret a tripto Italy.
You will not regret a trip toThailand or these places because
these are beautiful memories.
Like when I reflect back on myyear, for example the memory
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that sticks out the most thisyear in particular was my trip
to Portugal and Spain with mywife.
And I was just talking to afriend of mine about this like
last year.
If you ask me what was thehighlight of last year, it was
going to, where did we go?
I think Africa.
I went to Africa with my kids,south African and Zimbabwe.
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If you asked me the year beforeit was going to Thailand, if you
asked me the year before that itwas going to Peru and the year
before that it was doing a solotrip all around the world, and
it's these are the memories thatyou hold dear to your heart.
And it doesn't always have to betravel.
Maybe it's a camping triplocally, right?
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But unique experiences andinvesting in those experiences.
It's like you can get the bigold house, but honestly, think
about this.
Think about all of the peopleyou admire in this lifetime.
Think about all the celebritiesyou probably admire, or maybe
they're their athletes that,that you absolutely love.
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Now think about those people'shomes and their vehicles.
I would say that it's safe tosay that 90% of the people you
admire, you don't even know whattheir home look like.
You don't know what theirvehicle looked like, that stuff
did not even matter.
You don't know all of theirpossessions or anything like
that, right?
You have no idea because thatstuff is not as important as we
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think.
It's more about the experiencesthat, that you develop.
So it is essential to alwaysreflect on that.
And that's not something thatyou can logically quantify.
So for those of you folks whoare analytical, again logically
speaking, you may say I don'twanna spend money on that trip
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to Turkey because I wanna makesure that I budget, I wanna make
sure that I ha have enough topay the bills, or and I know
people that legit will spendthat money going to Turkey and
then go broke and they stillnever regret it.
Like they still have no regrets.
And it's okay, if you had toreally judge.
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Whose life would you have ratherlived?
Let's say the person that wasalways paying their bills on
time, always making sure thatthey're caught up with the IRS
and everything like that.
And they never travel.
They never go out there andspend money on things that are
like super valuable in terms ofexperiences.
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But the bills are paid on time.
Or would you rather go with theperson that maybe their bills
weren't always paid on time, butthey've traveled all around the
world and created peak lifeexperiences with their loved
ones and they took chances.
And you know what?
They'll die with the they willnot die with the things that,
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the regrets of the things thatthey didn't do.
Like whereas the person that isjust always clinging to security
and comfort, it's imagine at thetail end of their life how many
regret.
On the things that they nevertook a chance on because they
were so just overthinkingeverything logically.
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And I know I've been guilty ofthis especially as an analytical
person.
Today's session is gonna besuper valuable for those of you
who tend to fall in thiscategory.
It you've gotta take a chance,man.
Like for those of you who havedreams and goals and aspirations
and I get it, it's like we allwant security.
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We all want peace of mind,right?
But do not go out with regretbecause there, there are tons of
studies like the five regrets ofthe dying.
You guys should look it uponline.
Look up the five regrets of thedying.
It's the five most common thingsthat people on their deathbed
they did a study on this.
But it's the five most commonthings that people typically
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regret.
And usually it's the chancesthey didn't take or not living
up to their potential.
Don't go out like that becauseyou're caught up in clinging to
security.
And I know it's easier said thandone, but I'm telling you from
personal experience like todayit's interesting because
sometimes when people they'llcome, they'll see our lifestyle
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and whether it's ushomeschooling our kids or us
being able to travel around theworld and not have to come home
or staying up as late as wewanna stay up and nowhere to be
in the morning.
But that came with a price thatcame with taking a chance.
And yeah, you have your your upsand your downs your peaks and
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your valleys and all of thisstuff that comes along the way.
But when it's all said and done,at least you have the dignity in
saying that you took a chance.
Even if it doesn't work out okaymost of you guys live in the
western world where you canbounce back, but at least take a
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chance.
Okay.
Now, if that chance is puttingyour family in danger, right?
In terms of your familysecurity, sometimes you have to
move a little different.
Sometimes you have to workfull-time on your job and
part-time on your dream.
Sometimes you have to do thenine to five on your job and the
five to nine on your dream.
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And that's what it looks like.
And you have to go overtime,right?
But you work with what you got.
And there have been countlessscenarios of people over the
years who have done extremelywell with taking that approach.
Okay?
So here we go.
Let's jump into it.
Now, here's my question to you.
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How many times have you had anidea, a dream or a goal, but
never acted because you talkedyourself out of it?
Drop a y in the comments ifthat's ever happened to you.
I.
I know a lot of people, forexample, that I mentor.
By the way I have a few slotsopen for my coaching on if
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you're looking to launch apodcast, you're looking to get
into the coaching, consulting,speaking space.
I mentor people all throughoutthe year.
I have a certain limited amountof spots that I can open up with
my schedule to do these types ofprograms.
So if that interests you at alland you have any questions
regarding that, I'd be more thanhappy to answer any questions.
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Just hit me up.
DM me the word coach, and Icould always send you some more
information on how that works.
I have tons of people that tuneinto the breakfast club that
I've certified over the years.
Different coaches and people whojust wanted to like, get into
public speaking, all that goodstuff.
But I wanted to bring that upbecause I have so many people,
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for example that I've consultedon launching a podcast I've
consulted with.
Getting a book underway.
And a lot of them come to mebecause they've been having
paralysis of over analysis andthey don't execute.
So they'll get the coaching forthe accountability.
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And I have tons of people thatI've encountered over the years
that they just overthink it.
They want everything to beperfect and understand that
perfectionism is the enemy toexecution.
If you are someone that feelslike everything has to be
perfect, you are going tostruggle with execution.
And I get it.
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Of course, it would be amazingto have everything world class.
It would be amazing to have itall perfect.
But listen, not at the expenseof execution.
Not at the expense.
So when I first started theBreakfast Club, for example,
like you guys probably see allthe fancy stuff going on, but
when I started the BreakfastClub, honestly it was scrappy as
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hell.
It was scrappy, but people lovedit.
They loved it.
I didn't have a fancy camera setup or fancy lighting set up or
nice little aesthetics oranything like that.
It was just super scrappy.
And sometimes I even cringelooking back at some of those
Breakfast club sessions I can'tbelieve I went in front of that
camera looking like that.
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But during that time when Ifirst transitioned to Breakfast
Club, right before the PandemicOnline man it was just super
just Hey, let's just get thevalue out there.
I wasn't caught up in the waythat I looked or the way that I
presented myself or anythinglike that.
And the most important thingthough is that I started and I
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was consistent every singleweek, just consistent.
I always put out the content andthat is ultimately what led to
my podcast, right?
And was my podcast perfect?
Is it still perfect?
Absolutely not.
But you know what?
It's consistent and it's outthere and it's all about the
value.
That's really what it comes downto.
I'd much rather just be outthere putting out the content,
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putting out the value than tojust be waiting till everything
is right.
Everything is perfect, becausehere's the truth, the odds of
everything being perfect areslim to none.
It's never gonna be completelyright.
It's never gonna be acompletely, a hundred percent.
Even when I first became a dad Ireached out to my stepfather and
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I'm like, man, like how do I dothis?
Because I didn't really read thebooks.
I had no idea like how to goabout being a dad, but you just
learn as you go.
You learn as you go.
And that's the case with evenbusiness sometimes.
Sometimes it is important tojust take that leap of faith and
grow your wings on the way down.
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So moving forward, we have.
By the end of this, by the way,I'm gonna give you guys
practical strategies so you'renot overthinking all the time
and you can start executing onwhatever it is that you're
working on.
So make sure you're taking notesand you guys hear me say this
all the time, that note takerson money makers and the weakest
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in is stronger than thestrongest memory.
Take notes as if you're gonnahave to teach this information.
And it's mind boggling to me howmany people want to be
successful so bad, but theycannot take the time to take
notes.
It like it's likecounterintuitive.
You're sabotaging your owndreams because you're not
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willing to just go the extramile.
It's which student is gonna getthe most value in the classroom?
Is it the student in the backjust like hearing the words of
the professor?
Or is it the one up front?
Just glued in, locked in, takingthe notes, really doing their
best to process everything.
Whenever like you're gettingvalue or mentorship or coaching
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or anything like that, be verydiligent with taking notes.
I, I had spoke to a group ofyoung men recently, and I
noticed that they were all justcircled around me and just
listening.
And I, and the first thing Imentioned is just you guys take
notes, what are you doing?
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You know what I mean?
Take notes.
You're locked in to someone whois very successful and you have
the opportunity to learn fromthem.
And also you have an opportunityto leave a really good first
impression.
What if I was willing to hireone of them as an intern or
bring them onto my company?
Do you think I'm gonna go withthe kids that aren't taking
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notes?
No.
I'm gonna go to the one that'slocked in, that's dialed in,
that's hungry for success.
So that, that's what it's aboutin the world of personal
development.
It's one thing to just tune inand listen in, but it's another
thing to really integrate andassimilate the knowledge that
you're learning.
Okay, so next, understanding,overthinking, understanding,
(32:39):
overthinking, define,overthinking in in the first
place, right?
Like how do you defineoverthinking?
As I mentioned earlier,paralysis of overanalysis,
right?
Looping thoughts, justconstantly thinking the same
thoughts, fear-based thinking,disguised as quote unquote
planning.
One of my clients is a fashiondesigner, and when I first
(33:00):
started working with him he wasjust caught up in the designs
and like for years just wasn'tputting out his work because he
was just so caught up in it.
And sometimes just havingsomeone to give you that extra
insight, having someone to helpcoach you through the process is
all that you need.
(33:21):
And sometimes you have blindspots that you're not even aware
of.
You don't even realize you'recaught up in paralysis of over
analysis.
Okay.
Sometimes you think thatplanning is part of the work,
you think that you're putting inwork just by planning or just by
researching.
And a lot of my clients I seethis all the time.
(33:43):
How did this week go?
Yeah.
I'm just looking things up andresearch is cool, but again, not
at the expense of never takenaction like you have to put in
the work.
You have to compliment it withit.
I remember one of my coaches, Iworked with this ontological
life coach years ago, and shehad highlighted to me that I was
(34:04):
hiding behind my personaldevelopment.
And boy was she right.
She was right.
Like I would go hours and hoursreading the books, listening to
the audios, because I was reallyfearful of just going through
the rejection.
Doing the things that I reallyneeded to do to move the needle
for the results that I wanted.
Okay, so this is super importantto understand.
(34:25):
Now, break down why you evenoverthink in the first place.
I'll give you some of thereasons why.
Number one, fear a failure.
Let's just call it for whatIt's, you are fearful of you.
You're not fearful of pursuingthat dream.
You're fearful of what otherpeople are gonna think if you
(34:49):
fail.
Oftentimes, that's really whatit is.
It's not the dream itself.
Chances are you embarked on thatdream because you love what it
is that you're doing.
But really what's holding youback is the fear of failure and
the fear of what is everybodygonna think if I don't succeed?
And that'll be one of thebiggest things that hold you
(35:09):
back, man.
If.
One of the, one of my favoritequestions when people interview
highly successful people is ifyou could do it all over again,
what would you do?
What would you do?
Because it I always think aboutthat.
If I could have done anythingover, and one of my best
responses or one of theresponses that, that I
(35:31):
definitely agree with, and Iknow it's the case, it's the
case for me, is I would'vegotten over what people thought
of me a lot sooner.
A lot sooner.
So for example, the first coupleof years of launching the
Breakfast Club online I did notgo public with it.
It wasn't on publicly like it istoday because I was just fearful
(35:52):
of like other people trollingme.
I'd look at Celebrity post andthe comments were just like,
wow.
Like people are going in.
And it's interesting, I had putup a post recently and the post
like.
I didn't provide a full amountof context or go down like
(36:14):
explanations of what it was thatI was saying.
And people completely tookeverything out of context and
were going in on the comments.
And if it were a few years ago,I would've been crushed by that.
Like honestly it would'vecrushed me because it would've
been like, oh my God.
'cause I was so caught up on theapproval, I was actually
fascinated about it.
(36:34):
Man there, there's still thatpart of me that it's like
annoying.
But there also is thatunderstanding that this is part
of the process.
If you're gonna be someone ofinfluence, just know that you're
gonna be criticized.
There are gonna be people whosay things.
If you have posts, for example,go viral, right?
And in the case of this post,like it started to go viral and
I'm getting all these commentsand everything like that, and
(36:59):
and I had to remind myself like,Hey, this just comes with the
territory, right?
There's no getting around that.
If you wanna be a person ofinfluence.
One of the best pieces of adviceI can give you is what I heard
from my mentor one years ago.
He said, if you wanna be admiredby thousands, you must be
willing to take ridicule from afew dozen ignorant ones, just
(37:19):
the way it is.
You wanna be admired bythousands.
You have to be willing to takeridicule from a few dozen
ignorant ones.
Yeah.
You're gonna have people whotroll your stuff.
You're gonna have people who saythings, but that's okay.
That's a part of the game.
So pers perspective will takeyou a long way.
It is important to have theright perspective whenever
you're pursuing whatever it isthat you're going for.
(37:42):
Number two is, again, fear ofjudgment.
So just what I was talking aboutyou're fearful of being judged
sometimes.
It's like you're fearful ofbeing judged by your own family,
by your own family, by, by yourparents.
What am I Parents are gonnathink.
Yesterday I was interviewing amaster barber.
He's a serial entrepreneur runsmany different businesses and.
(38:07):
He had mentioned that his momwanted him to be a, like a
doctor and go off to college.
And when he told her that he wasgonna drop out of college and
pursue a career in barbering,like she was super upset
initially with him, but heintentionally had his pay stubs,
(38:27):
or not his pay stubs, but likehis bank statements going to the
house and like she couldactually see how much money he
was making and and then thatkind of lit the light bulb wow,
he actually is doing quite wellfor himself.
And eventually he ended upopening up a really beautiful
barbers, probably the nicestbarbershop I've ever been to
(38:50):
downtown Tampa and a lot ofother businesses around it.
And has he mentioned that whenhe started to show his family,
how he was showing up for hischildren.
He has five children.
What they respected is like, howwell he just took care of his
(39:10):
family.
And you gotta respect it.
And initially you may be fearfulof the judgment of what is my
family gonna think?
What are my friends gonna think?
But at the end of the day, ifyou're taking care of business,
you're taking care of yourfamily and you're genuinely
happy.
Imagine being a doctor, right?
And your parents wanted you todo that, and now you're working
(39:33):
60, 70, 80 hour weeks and you'remiserable, right?
Is that really the path that youwant?
It's much better to do somethingthat you're genuinely happy
with, but as long as you areable to sustain yourself, that's
the important thing.
Next, we have desire forperfection.
As I mentioned earlier,perfectionism is the enemy to
execution.
(39:53):
So don't get caught up in that.
Even if your work is like aseven out of 10, listen, you
could always improve as you go.
There's still a lot of aspectsof my podcast, still a lot of
aspects of our live events,aspects of.
The Breakfast Club, all of thesethings that have to be worked
on, but honestly, it's like itis what it is.
Sometimes you have to understandthat when you are, when you're
(40:17):
too perfect, a lot of peoplewon't be able to relate to you.
You think that being superperfect is the way to go.
Like I, I remember when I wasworking on my vocabulary working
on just the way that I spoke andI started to feel out of touch
after a while because I was socaught up in sounding like a
(40:39):
scholar, but the average persondidn't talk like that.
The people that I led did notnecessarily talk like that, and
it was okay to just be myselfand not feel like I have to be
super, super polished.
And sometimes I have to go backto that.
Josh, you don't have to use likeall of these big words.
Keep it simple.
Because you're not relatablewhen you're using all of these
(41:02):
like sophisticated word words.
Now, are there moments where youmay have to code switch?
Maybe you're in differentenvironments, maybe it is
appropriate to use differenttypes of words.
Yeah.
But understand that again, ifyou're too perfect, too
polished, people are notnecessarily going to rock with
you like that.
Like I remember I oftentimesshare the story that I was in
(41:22):
this speaking competition, andit was like, America's Got
Talent, but for the bestspeakers in the United States.
And I remember one of the judgesmentioning that if you sound
like you're too perfect, right?
People are going to hate you.
Like straight up.
That's what the judge said.
(41:42):
They're not going to like, likeyou at all.
You're not gonna get voted forby the people because it's like
you're not relatable, you're outof touch.
Okay?
So it can actually work againstyou if you're so caught up with
perfectionism.
So never forget that.
Next, we have informationoverload.
So maybe you have too much goingon, you're doing the most, and
(42:06):
maybe you have too manypodcasts, YouTube videos, books,
advice, everything, and it'sinformation overload.
And that's what's causing you tohave paralysis of over analysis.
You have to scale down.
You have to simplify, right?
So if you're in the process,like you wanna do a podcast, you
wanna write a book, you wannalaunch these online courses, you
(42:29):
wanna do this and this, andbuild a community and all of
this stuff, listen.
Start with one thing at a time.
Because a confused mind doesnothing.
As the Chinese proverb states,the man that chases multiple
rabbits catches none.
Do not be that person trying todo everything all at the same
time, and you end up masteringnothing.
(42:50):
Okay?
So if you wanna launch apodcast.
Dedicate a season just to thepodcast.
If you wanna launch a book,dedicate a season just to the
book.
Now, are there people who can dothings simultaneously?
Absolutely.
But know thyself.
If that's not the case for you,take it one project at a time.
Okay?
Now also know that there's anillusion of safety.
(43:14):
Okay?
So the brain will trick you intothinking that not acting will
actually keep you safe when itreally keeps you stuck.
So sometimes people feel like ifI don't pull the trigger on
this, like at least I know I'msafe.
No, sometimes inaction is evenworse than action or taking that
(43:36):
chance.
Sometimes inaction like youthink it's inaction, but
inaction is also inaction.
You deciding consciously not todo anything.
Listen, the world is not gonnawait on you.
That comes with consequences.
Don't think that not acting isthe way E even if you have to
take a very small step, it'sstill an inch closer to the goal
(44:01):
line.
Do something.
Just keep yourself in motion,okay?
Now, always remember that themost successful people in the
world have acted without knowingeverything, have acted without
knowing everything.
When Elon Musk was startingSpaceX, he didn't know
(44:22):
everything about rockets.
He like literally had to startlearning about rocket science
from scratch, right?
The same with Tesla, the samewith every company that he's
launched.
It's like he had to learn newthings.
I had no idea how podcastingworks, but I went out there, I
did the research I learned thebusiness of it and everything
(44:43):
like that.
You have to remember that likeeverybody who has worked on
something great.
They were okay with starting,right?
Like the old cliche saying, youdon't have to be great to start,
but you have to start to begreat.
And it's okay that you don'tknow everything, but you just
kinda learn as you go.
(45:03):
Now the cost of overthinking,this is a whole other rabbit
hole that we can go down.
By the way, if you're gettingvalue so far, drop a V in the
comments.
All of your comments help, ofcourse.
So drop a v if you're gettingvalue so far.
Shout out to everybody tuning inon YouTube.
I see we got Instagram as well.
Facebook, we post a recording,so we're not live on Facebook,
(45:26):
but if you guys ever want to hopon live, just hop over to dn
breakfast club.com.
Okay, so here we go.
Next we have here, all right, wehave the cost.
Okay, so the cost ofoverthinking.
The first thing, and I love thisone in particular, and that is
missed opportunity.
(45:48):
So remember, some of your dreamsare time sensitive.
You don't have the luxury ofwaiting out, you're gonna miss
the boat.
And you have to be very mindfulof that.
It's like right now, forexample, you may wanna launch a
podcast, right?
And just know that podcasting ishot right now, but is it always
(46:09):
going to be hot?
Maybe not.
You have no idea.
AI right now is booming anddon't think that you can just
wait five years from now tostart embarking on ai.
Learn how artificialintelligence works, learn how
all these different things work.
Like there.
There are certain things thatare very time sensitive.
(46:31):
Now maybe you're wanting towrite a book and perhaps like
there, it's not a time sensitivething on the book, but maybe it
is.
Maybe there are certain thingsthat you're not actually seeing.
And when it comes to businessfollows trends.
There's trends, there's cyclicalthere's a cyclical nature to
business.
And you have to be able toidentify trends.
(46:53):
You have to be able to identifywhen it is the right time to
take massive action, but do notmiss opportunities because
you're just sitting there justoverthinking everything, okay?
When that idea is hot in, theemotion is strong, that's when
you should take action.
(47:13):
Next.
The other cost of overthinkingis mental exhaustion.
So isn't it crazy there, thereare people that get burnout.
Now, if you're gonna, if you'rethe person that's gonna
encounter burnout, don'tencounter burnout due to
inaction.
Encountering burnout due toinaction is so much worse than
(47:34):
encountering burnout because ofaction.
Because at least if you're goingthrough burnout I was watching
an interview by Mr.
Beast who's the number oneYouTuber in the world, and he
spoke about just like his worklife and how he goes so hard,
like he's constantly working ondifferent projects and putting
in these ridiculous hours everysingle week.
(47:56):
And eventually he gets to apoint of just all out exhaustion
just burnt out, and he'll need aday just to recover, and then
he's back at it, right?
But he's also massivelysuccessful.
But you have people on the otherside of the spectrum where
they'll burn out and they're noteven putting in any work.
They're just overthinkingeverything.
(48:18):
And then they burn out just fromthe process of overthinking, and
then they're left with regrets.
They're left with guilt.
So don't be that person.
Now, another cost is regretversus failure.
So remember this, failure giveslessons, but regret gives
(48:38):
nothing.
Failure gives lessons, butregret gives nothing.
So that's why it is so muchbetter to just swing the damn
bat.
At least you got in the game.
Even if you strike out, youstill got in the game and you
will never have that regret.
(48:58):
The pain of discipline weighsounces.
The pain of regret weighs tons.
Next remember people on theirdeathbeds regret what they
didn't do more than what theydid.
Do more than what they did do,okay?
They're countless stories ofpeople who waited too long and
(49:20):
missed their shot, right?
And.
They didn't take action when thetime was right.
So a prime example of this wouldbe the company Kodak.
You guys probably rememberKodak, and we all used Kodak
back in the day for likephotography.
And do you know that Kodak wasjust denying this whole digital
era that we were going in andthey took too long to adopt the
(49:45):
trend and end up having to filebankruptcy.
How many of you see Kodak today?
It was one of the most admiredcompanies, one of the largest
companies in the world, but theywaited, they did not take action
when the time was right and theypaid the price in a major way.
And this happens at theindividual level, it happens at
(50:05):
the organizational level.
So it is essential to, to makesure that you're taking action,
especially when the time isright now, shifting the mindset.
So one of the things that youwanna do is reframe failure.
So a lot of you are looking atit as failure, and you're all
caught up.
Trying to avoid it.
But remember, failure equalsdata, not identity.
(50:32):
I'll say that again.
For those of you in the back ofthe classroom, failure equals
data not identity.
So what do I mean by that?
Whenever you fail, you'relearning.
Like you, you wanna failforward, and it's not really
failure.
I was watching an interview thisweek with Tyler Perry and he had
mentioned to these group of guysthat he never failed in his
(50:53):
life.
And initially these guys werelike, what do you mean you never
failed?
And it's yeah, becauseeverything was a lesson.
Everything that he thought hefailed at in the moment led to
something even better, or helearned something along the way.
He got some kind of value out ofit.
(51:15):
So it is essential to, toreframe the way you perceive
failure.
Okay.
Another thing is to embraceimperfection.
So it's one thing to alwayswanna be perfect, but imagine if
you can be okay with beingperfectly imperfect.
That's really what it comes downto.
(51:36):
Being perfectly imperfect, beingokay with your imperfections.
Remember, done is better thanperfect.
Done is better than perfect.
Would you rather have a bookthat has the potential of being
perfect, or a book that'sactually out?
Maybe it's not perfect, but youactually have a book, right?
(51:57):
Or who would wanna be there juststuck and never putting out the
book, never putting out thepodcast, never putting out that
course, never putting outwhatever it is that you're
working on because you want itto all be perfect, be okay with
the imperfections.
Like I've had to embrace this ina major way.
Sometimes I've had life masteryevents that I've had live
(52:22):
webinars, things like that.
Even events that just,everything wasn't completely
dialed in, but at the end of theday it happened and it's so much
better that actually got donethan to have been caught up and
just trying to make everythingright.
Now this is not to negate thefact that you should always do
your best to be as world classas possible, right?
(52:45):
But not at the expense ofinactivity.
Now next we have trust.
The process.
Clarity comes from action, notthinking.
So sometimes you think thatthinking things through is gonna
give you clarity.
No.
Sometimes it's taking the actionis what actually gives you
(53:06):
clarity.
You learn as you go, you coursecorrect, and you make those
adjustments as you go.
Now I love this 80% rule.
I'll share it with you guys.
Take notes.
If you feel 80% ready move.
If you feel 80% ready, move someof you're waiting to be at a
(53:28):
hundred percent.
The moment you feel about 80%ready, you definitely like
you've reached a limit.
Go for it.
Okay?
Because you'll learn the other20% along the way.
You'll learn it along the way.
80% is enough to say, Hey, let'sgo.
Sometimes it doesn't even haveto be 80.
(53:49):
You could pull it off at 60 70,but when you hit about 80, just
go and make things happen.
So the idea is action is theantidote to fear sometimes when
you just get the ball rolling,that's how you overcome the
fear.
Because what tends to happen isif you are constantly
(54:10):
overthinking everything you'reactually making yourself more
fearful.
You're thinking of all thereasons why it won't work.
When was the last time youactually took the time to think
about all the reasons why itwill?
Why it will, and I have to catchmyself sometimes because I'll
start going down the rabbit holeof why something won't work and
(54:31):
not really putting enoughconsciousness and focus and
attention on all the reasons whyit can't.
Okay, so here's some practicaltools to stop overthinking.
First and foremost, we have thetwo minute rule.
I talk about this all the time,and it's inspired by James
Clear, who wrote the book,atomic Habits, and basically the
two minute rule is this.
(54:51):
If it takes less than twominutes, do it immediately.
Do it immediately.
Maybe it's picking up that phoneand making that call, right?
Maybe it's booking that meeting,whatever it is, but if it takes
less than two minutes, youshould do it because that's what
builds momentum sometimes it'sjust taking that little action,
(55:11):
that micro goal.
Okay, next, we have setdeadlines.
Time bound goals kill,overthinking.
So when you set those deadlines,and that's oftentimes what I do
with clients.
If I'm working with a client,what I'll do is I'll set a micro
goal for the week.
And if they don't follow throughon that micro goal, then there's
a fine associated with notfollowing through.
(55:35):
So you want to set deadlines,okay?
Because the deadlines, it makesyou just take action and go hard
and wanna get things done at aspecific time.
And this is why many of yourjobs, a lot of people who work
jobs typically have some kind ofdeadline to different projects
that they're working on becausethat's how you get things done.
(55:56):
Okay?
Now limit input.
So only consume info that leadsto direct action steps.
Limit your, the input.
Sometimes you're just inundatedwith too much information, it's
information overload.
You have too many people in yourear.
Sometimes it's just good to,again, scale down what it is
(56:18):
that you are consuming.
We also have decision filters,so ask, will this move me closer
to my dream?
Everything that you do, askyourself, is it moving me closer
or is it taking me further?
So for example, if part of yourdream is saving up for that new
(56:39):
home or saving up for that newvehicle, or saving up for that
vacation, but you're about to goblow money in the club, is it
moving you closer to your dream?
Absolutely not.
So why would you engage on it orengage in it?
And that's why oftentimes weshare the my, one of my favorite
philosophies is, if it ain't ahell yes, it should be a hell
no.
(57:00):
If you're thinking whether ornot Hey, is this really what I
wanted to list?
Just don't do it.
Don't do it because it's notmoving you closer to where you
wanna be.
Another thing is to break itdown.
Break it down.
So convert big goals into microsteps.
Win the day, not the decade.
Don't get caught up on thedecade or even the month.
(57:22):
Just focus on winning the day.
What are things that you can dotoday that can get you closer to
where you wanna be next?
We have an accountabilitypartner.
External push eliminates theoverthinking cycle.
Sometimes you just need thatperson in your corner to help
you, right?
(57:43):
Because they're there to holdyou accountable.
Hey, how's this thing going?
I know for me whenever I have agym buddy, for example, I find
myself more in the gym and Ifound myself working harder in
the gym when I have a gympartner, right?
It's just how it's, so having anaccountability partner always
helps.
Even in businesses that I'veran, like I was always a lot
(58:04):
more productive whenever I hadan accountability partner in
business.
Now, you could also have anaction journal.
So for those of you who journalI, and I would hope all of you
journal to in some shape orform, but write down one action
daily toward your dream andexecute it before bed.
(58:25):
So for those of you who aretuning in right now, think about
what you can do for today thatcan move you closer to your
dream and actually followthrough just one thing.
Okay?
Now, if you're getting value,once again, drop a comment, you
can put a V for value.
I wanna make sure you guys arestill with me here and we're
about to bring the plane in fora landing.
(58:47):
All right, so next there's somany stories I can tell you of
people who have gotten caught upin overthinking, whether it's
entrepreneurs who've launchedbefore they were ready to
launch, whether it was athleteswho took risk on the big stage.
You understand, like MichaelJordan, I remember just seeing
(59:11):
him play with the flu, right?
And still pushing forward sickas a dog and leading a team to a
championship, right?
It could be creators who startedsmall, but grew huge.
Some of your favorite creators,it could be YouTubers,
podcasters, authors, right?
And in terms of for me, again, alot of the things that I've
(59:34):
launched over the years, ifthere's anything that I'm
grateful for, is the fact that Ilet go of this idea of being
perfect a very long time ago, avery long time ago.
And I know people who legit willnot start speaking on a podcast
or they, they're not putting outcontent because they don't like
(59:54):
the way they look yet they're ontheir quote unquote weight loss
journey.
And I respect it.
It's like you may not want theworld to see you like that, but
how about if you had theperspective of, I wanna show
people my transformation.
I wanna show people like what Iovercame.
It's like a different way oflooking at things, okay?
Like for me, if I look at thework that I put out in the early
(01:00:14):
years, it's like super scrappy.
But I'm okay with that becausepeople can see the progression,
people can see the evolution,okay?
So it's not about havingeverything be a 10 out of 10.
All right?
So I wanna challenge you guys topick one dream you've been
sitting on and take action onthat dream within the next 24
(01:00:38):
hours.
What's that dream?
Whatever it is.
Maybe it's to buy that home, andmaybe you could start
researching things on that home,right?
But don't stay researching toolong.
Take some kind of action.
Maybe it's on reaching a certainlevel in your business and you
have to make some phone calls,reach out to some prospects,
land some customers, right?
(01:00:59):
Maybe you have to hire thatpersonal trainer.
Your dream has been to get sixpack abs, whatever it is, but
whatever that one dream is, anddo something today to take
action on that.
Okay?
And once again, for those of youwho are ready for that next
(01:01:19):
level dm, me, I'm always happyto provide coaching, insight,
mentorship, all of that stuff.
And I offer complimentarycoaching sessions for those of
you who feel like you can usethat extra push.
But my hope for you after tuninginto today is that you take
action.
You stop overthinking and allowyourself to just start building
some momentum.
(01:01:40):
Maybe today was a reminder foryou Hey, I don't have to have it
all perfect, or, Hey even if Ijust take one small step, it's
still a step in the rightdirection, okay?
And remember this, your dreamsare not waiting for you to think
more.
They're waiting for you to domore.
Okay.
They're not waiting for you tothink more.
(01:02:01):
They're waiting for you to domore.
So just to wrap up, rememberwhen it comes to everything that
we covered go back andunderstand overthinking in the
first place.
Know that there's a cost tooverthinking and it typically
comes down to going through amindset shift to break out of
(01:02:24):
the overthinking.
And you have all the practicaltools, whether it's the two
minute rule setting, deadlineslimiting, how much input you
take in, right?
Having those decision filters,like asking yourself, will this
move me closer to my dream?
Breaking it down into microgoals, having an accountability
partner, or even an actionjournal.
(01:02:44):
These are all practical toolsyou can take on today.
To move the needle with yourdreams.
So ladies and gentlemen, I hopethat this was super valuable for
you.
If it was, drop a comment.
Once again comment, share, tag,subscribe.
Thank you.
For all of you who share starsor subscribe to, my work is
greatly appreciated.
And remember, as I mentionedearlier, you do not have to be
(01:03:06):
great to start, but you have tostart to be great.
Breakfast is serve.
God bless every last one of you.
I'll be seeing you all nextweek.
Take care everyone.
today's topic is going to becentered around stop thinking,
(00:03):
start doing, and breaking freefrom overthinking to execute
your dreams.
So I'm a holistic life coach forthose of you who don't know.
And I typically, I hop ontelevision, podcasts, different
things like that, social mediaand talk about a lot of
different concepts a aroundcoaching.
And one of the things that I'vediscovered over the years, just
(00:24):
working with many people on manydifferent projects is.
People tend to have what werefer to in the personal
development world as paralysisof over analysis, where you
think yourself out of anythingthat you're working on.
I'm not sure how many of you canrelate to that.
I know I definitely have beenthere where you tend to just
(00:44):
overthink things, right?
Or maybe you get caught up inbeing perfect.
You get caught up in justwanting to do everything a
certain type of way and you endup not doing the thing at all.
And I know that this isdefinitely one of the things
that people struggle with themost.
I'm excited to share the valuehere because I know many of
(01:06):
you're gonna be able to getvalue from this, especially for
those of you who are a bit onthe analytical side, like
myself.
I tend to be very analytical andsometimes it can be my biggest
downfall.
Let's get ready to jump rightinto it.
Let's see here.
We have some shares that we'regonna open up with before we
jump into the meat and potatoesof today's Breakfast Club
(01:29):
session.
To get us kickstarted the veryfirst share is cultivate an
Abundance mentality.
And this is from the SevenHabits of Highly Effective
People.
Really great book, by the way.
And this flashcard, it says,describe what you could do to
think more abundantly, celebratethe strengths of yourself and
(01:51):
others.
Stop comparing and shareresources.
So really good.
So celebrate the strengths ofyourself and others.
Stop comparing and shareresources.
I know for me transitioning intoa more abundant mentality.
When I was growing up we didn'thave a whole bunch we had a lot
(02:11):
of love, but in terms of wealthI didn't come from a family of
wealth.
We grew up in the hood.
And one of the things that.
Tend to, or I guess a mindsetthat I would tend to take on was
a mindset of scarcity.
Like always being in survival ina sense, or accustomed to being
in survival.
And I adopted a scarcitymentality over the years, and it
(02:35):
took a long time to finally geta grip on the understanding of
just abundant thinking.
Because abundant thinking,sometimes it, it doesn't seem a
logical way of thinking.
Sometimes logically we'rethinking, okay, let me save
money here.
Let me do whatever it is that Ican to prevent me losing more
(02:59):
money or whatever.
And abundant thinking is theopposite of logical thinking in
the sense that.
Logically, yeah, it makes senseto just let's say save for a
rainy day or to make sure thatyou're not overspending.
But one of the things that hashelped me has been just
(03:21):
transitioning this, my mindsetto there is enough, and if I
want it, I'm going to have it.
And one of the things that doesis when you transition into
abundance thinking you tend toelevate your standards for your
life.
You tend to elevate yourparadigm, if you will, where
(03:44):
there, there's a saying thatluxuries become necessities,
right?
So if you're always in scarcitythinking let's just say you live
in a community that is not thebest community and you're just
there because you wanna savemoney on rent.
You could very well because ofscarcity thinking, trap yourself
into just that paradigm and thatway of living and always being
(04:07):
fearful of taking that greatleap or elevating your family's
social status or quality of lifeor things like that.
So it is important to adopt thisabundance thinking, right?
It's the kind of like inalignment with what we're gonna
be talking about here today,which is centered around
overthinking.
(04:27):
Because overthinking isoftentimes something that people
who are hyper analytical kind ofgo through, right?
So if you tend to be a littlebit on the analytical side, then
logically speaking you're like,okay, let me get the more
affordable place to live.
Let me get the more affordablevehicle.
(04:48):
But if you go on your entirelife, just fearful of.
Not having enough.
Like how are you ever reallygonna stretch yourself?
And there's a fine line, right?
Because on one side of thespectrum, you wanna be
responsible.
You want to be a good steward ofyour wealth.
(05:08):
But on the other side of thespectrum, it's like sometimes
you have to push yourself.
You have to stretch yourself.
You have to be the one to takethat great leap of faith.
And it's interesting because forthose of you who are
entrepreneurs, entrepreneurshipsometimes is not something that
you have to, or something thatyou should do very logically in
(05:31):
a sense, because there are a lotof things in entrepreneurship
that logically speaking does notmake sense.
So for example, if you have anintuition, if you have a gut
instinct that tells you like,you know what I have a strong
belief that this is gonna work.
My gut is telling me that thisis going to.
(05:52):
Happen and you follow through onyour gut instinct, oftentimes
your gut will lead you to thebest result.
Not all the time, but a lot oftimes it does.
And there have been countlesscases of tons of entrepreneurs
who they gone through verydifficult seasons and logically
speaking, it made sense to notcontinue forward, but they still
(06:15):
did and they overcame whateverit is that they were going
through.
And I know for me, for examplewhen I was considering leaving
the workforce, like I left mysix figure career with benefits,
pension, all of that stuff topursue a business that was not
even paying me$500 a month.
(06:35):
Logically speaking, it made nosense.
Like I, I spent all this timegoing to college, getting my
degrees, getting a Coast Guardlicense getting all this stuff
and going through this entireprogram to pilot vessels all
around the United States.
I had a highly paid skill andspent all of this time, it, it
(06:58):
probably was about six years ofmy life to get to this arrival
point where I'm now in aposition where I'm making up to
a thousand dollars a day at thetime.
And I had the security, I hadeverything already set up and a
job that would always be indemand.
And I went the path ofentrepreneurship, right?
(07:19):
And it, not only did I go thepath of entrepreneurship, I
didn't even have a steady incomethat was anywhere near what I
was making.
It took years for me to evenreplace that income.
Understand.
So logically speaking, it madeno sense.
But when it comes to yourdreams, sometimes it is not so
(07:39):
logical.
It's head and heart.
It's a combination of the two.
You can't just think everythinglogically all the time, and
sometimes you have to put yourheart over the bar.
You have to wear your heart onyour sleeve.
You have to go out there andfollow your instincts.
And instincts are a veryimportant factor when it comes
(08:00):
to just going after your dreams.
Sometimes it's more feeling thanit is thinking.
So ask yourself, do I trulybelieve that there is more than
enough for everyone when we havean abundance mentality, we are
not threatened by other successbecause we are secure in our own
self-worth.
This is super, super important.
(08:20):
I always mention here in theBreakfast Club that one of the
things that I love about myclosest friends is they all have
their own thing going on.
Like my friends, they all dopretty well for themselves.
Like my core set of friends,they're project managers in
Manhattan, ENG engineers.
I have friends that, that runbig companies and all of this
(08:43):
stuff and in really amazingpositions.
And they're running their ownlane.
There's no like competition.
Everybody's got their own thinggoing on and I love that.
I feel like relationships thrivewhen there, there isn't that
underlying jealousy, right?
When you really, genuinely wantthe best for your friends and
(09:05):
you are comfortable in your ownskin and you're pursuing your
own path.
Okay?
Here's a great quote by StephenCovey, and that is the abundance
mentality flows out of a deepinner sense of personal worth
and security.
It is the paradigm that there isplenty out there and enough for
everybody.
(09:25):
It's interesting becausesometimes you have people who
feel as if if this person wins,then that means I lose, or if
this person succeeds, that meansthat there's less for me.
And oftentimes it's just not thecase.
There is more than enough foreveryone.
(09:47):
There's more than enough.
For all people in whatever fieldthat you're in.
And it is important to make surethat you're always adopting this
abundance mentality because ifyou don't, you're going to drive
yourself crazy looking ateverybody on social media and
you're seeing everybody winningor maybe posting up their
highlights because let's behonest, people don't really post
(10:08):
the negative aspects of theirlives.
And you're seeing people winningand you have this, the, these
insecurities that start to popup like, man everybody's getting
it, but me.
You understand?
And that's what scarcity will doto you.
But you have to have thementality where, man, if they
can do it, I can do it A me toomentality.
(10:30):
You can do it.
Me too.
I can do it as well.
You're, if anything, it goesfrom jealousy to inspiration.
You can look at people who aresucceeding and you know you've
got the right mindset when youcan see people winning in life.
Genuinely be inspired, genuinelybe like, you know what?
(10:51):
That's incredible.
That they're paving the way forpeople like me showing what's
possible.
That should always be thementality.
Okay.
Root people on, cheer people on.
It's interesting too, becausesometimes what happens is you
have these little insecuritiesthat'll pop up from time to
time.
Even for myself I'll have thethese feelings of underlying,
(11:18):
and I don't even wanna call itjealousy, but sometimes that
that little boy, that littlegirl just feels less than, it
feels like they're not enoughbecause they see other people
who are doing better than them.
And I, and whenever that popsup, like I always have to do my
part in silencing that voice.
(11:39):
And if I see someone, forexample, posting on social media
and they hit a huge milestone.
I intentionally will like andcomment on them, especially
during those moments where thatlittle voice starts to creep in
and try to tell me that I'm notenough or tell me that I'm not
doing enough.
We're all like running our ownrace here, and it is important
(11:59):
to run your own race.
Don't try to like, get up insomeone else's lane.
Run your own race.
Because remember, sometimes thatperson's chapter 20 is like your
chapter five, and you don't knowwhat they had to go through.
You don't know the underlyingwork that they had to do in
order to get to where they are.
(12:20):
You can't be upset with theresults that you're not getting
for the work that you didn't do.
It is essential to always havethat perspective.
For example there are a lot ofthings that I'm limited on today
because the reality is I'm awhole dad.
I'm a husband, right?
I've got three children that I'mresponsible for.
(12:41):
And yeah, I'd love to be outthere just traveling all the
time and living my best life andbeing wild and free.
But the truth is, I'mresponsible for other people,
right?
Like my wife, she homeschoolsand she she's not out there
working the nine to five grind.
And I always have to do my partto make sure that my family is
(13:04):
good.
And because of that, it's yeah,there's certain things that I'm
not moving as fast with.
I'd love for my podcast to beeven bigger than it is and my
platforms to be bigger than theyare.
But I'm in my dad season andthat's fine.
So it would be insane for me tocompare myself to the
28-year-old dude that's outthere getting it bolster the
(13:29):
wall, putting in 80 hour weeksand imagine if I compared myself
to that, right?
Or that person comparedthemselves to me.
You understand?
It's just like we all havedifferent lives.
We all have different startingpoints.
We all have just maybe certainthings like grace that was
bestowed upon you.
(13:50):
Maybe you were born with asilver spoon in your mouth,
maybe you weren't right, but youhad to honor your journey and
wherever it is that you are andunderstand that you may be 35,
40, 45, even 50 years old andfeeling like you wasted all this
time.
That's actually not the case.
(14:11):
There, there have been a lot ofvaluable life experiences that
you've you've gotten along theway and all those valuable life
experiences understand that.
You can end up having those lifeexperiences come back full
circle years later and you hadno idea how the dots were gonna
(14:32):
connect until life just ended uphappening.
And you're like, oh, I get itnow.
I get it right.
All of those years that Ithought I wasted actually, that
wasn't the case today, you mayhave patience because of all the
time that it took.
So it is, again, essential tohonor your journey and
understand that your breakawaysuccess, it can happen in a
(14:57):
year.
It can happen in a year, andthen it all of a sudden is
called an overnight success, butpeople don't realize.
Years and years you spent justcultivating your leadership,
cultivating your competence andso much more.
Okay, so next we have anothershare.
(15:20):
And it's if love, success, orintegrity are important to you,
then they are part of yourvalues system.
A value is an emotional stateyou feel is very important
either to experience because ofthe pleasure you believe it will
bring or to avoid because of thepain you associate to it.
(15:42):
All our decision making isdriven by these beliefs.
How will a given action help usmove toward a pleasure value?
Will it help us avoid or moveaway from a pain value?
What's one of the most importantpleasurable emotions you value
and what's a painful emotion?
You'll do almost anything toavoid.
(16:05):
And this is really good because.
Think about like your journey.
Think about how many times youprobably did not pursue that
endeavor simply because you wereso consumed about what other
people would think.
You were so caught up in beingjudged, being criticized, and
you never pursued that, thatdream.
(16:27):
And perhaps it's because youvalue maybe security, you value
being accepted and that's thevery thing that's sabotaging
whatever it is that you want.
So it is important to do thoseto have that self-inventory, if
you will, do that self-inventorywhere you're analyzing, okay,
(16:47):
what is it that I value?
Maybe you value feelingsignificant and a lot of what
drives you is feelingsignificant.
Or maybe you value contribution,you value service to other
people.
So these are all a part of yourvalue system and what is it
that's driving you?
And also you have pushmotivations.
(17:10):
You have pull motivations.
Sometimes the pain of goingthrough rejection is the very
thing that drives you.
Sometimes it's the pain of nothaving enough or the pain of
poverty, the pain or the fear ofnot being able to afford your
to, to pay your home or yourvehicle, right?
(17:31):
These are things that drive usas human beings.
But it is important to analyzewhether or not that pain or that
push or that pull value isactually sabotaging what it is
that you truly want.
Because imagine, for example,you wanna pursue a path of being
an actor and you have thisaspiration to be an actor, but
(17:56):
you also fear rejection.
Imagine fearing rejection, butyou also want to be an actor.
They're like, they'reconflicting values in a sense,
right?
Because one of your values isdoing everything in your power
to ensure that you don't have togo through rejection and be
accepted, but then you alsovalue wanting to become an
(18:19):
actor, right?
And they're conflicting.
That's why it is essential toalways go through some of the
things that you're valuing anddetermine whether or not those
values are holding you back.
Next pleasure.
Values are known as movingtoward values.
They include such emotions aslove, joy, freedom, security,
(18:43):
passion and peace of mind.
Pain values like rejection,depression, loneliness are known
as moving away from values.
As we make decisions, weconsider whether these pain or
pleasure states will be aconsequence.
Our actions in the next fewdays, you'll begin to clarify
(19:03):
not only the emotional statesthat drive all of your
decisions, but also their orderof importance.
For example, you may value bothsecurity and adventure.
Determining which one is moreimportant to you will help you
be much more effective in makingdecisions consistent with what
will give you long-termhappiness.
(19:25):
So one of the things that Ithink about is like I, I've
valued a lot over the years justhaving variety in my life and
value travel.
One thing that I always feltabout travel was that it would
never travel investing inexperiences like travel.
I was never going to regret themoney that I spent on travel and
(19:47):
I for whatever reason I adoptedthis mentality very young and it
has served me well and it.
Proven me right over and overagain.
Would you guys agree?
Like whenever you invest moneyin travel and experiencing new
experiences, like it's one ofthe best things you could
(20:08):
possibly spend money on.
You may regret spending money onthat bag or spending money on
just that overpriced vehiclethat you buy.
But you will not regret a tripto Italy.
You will not regret a trip toThailand or these places because
these are beautiful memories.
Like when I reflect back on myyear, for example the memory
(20:33):
that sticks out the most thisyear in particular was my trip
to Portugal and Spain with mywife.
And I was just talking to afriend of mine about this like
last year.
If you ask me what was thehighlight of last year, it was
going to, where did we go?
I think Africa.
I went to Africa with my kids,south African and Zimbabwe.
(20:54):
If you asked me the year beforeit was going to Thailand, if you
asked me the year before that itwas going to Peru and the year
before that it was doing a solotrip all around the world, and
it's these are the memories thatyou hold dear to your heart.
And it doesn't always have to betravel.
Maybe it's a camping triplocally, right?
(21:16):
But unique experiences andinvesting in those experiences.
It's like you can get the bigold house, but honestly, think
about this.
Think about all of the peopleyou admire in this lifetime.
Think about all the celebritiesyou probably admire, or maybe
they're their athletes that,that you absolutely love.
(21:39):
Now think about those people'shomes and their vehicles.
I would say that it's safe tosay that 90% of the people you
admire, you don't even know whattheir home look like.
You don't know what theirvehicle looked like, that stuff
did not even matter.
You don't know all of theirpossessions or anything like
that, right?
You have no idea because thatstuff is not as important as we
(22:02):
think.
It's more about the experiencesthat, that you develop.
So it is essential to alwaysreflect on that.
And that's not something thatyou can logically quantify.
So for those of you folks whoare analytical, again logically
speaking, you may say I don'twanna spend money on that trip
(22:26):
to Turkey because I wanna makesure that I budget, I wanna make
sure that I ha have enough topay the bills, or and I know
people that legit will spendthat money going to Turkey and
then go broke and they stillnever regret it.
Like they still have no regrets.
And it's okay, if you had toreally judge.
(22:48):
Whose life would you have ratherlived?
Let's say the person that wasalways paying their bills on
time, always making sure thatthey're caught up with the IRS
and everything like that.
And they never travel.
They never go out there andspend money on things that are
like super valuable in terms ofexperiences.
(23:09):
But the bills are paid on time.
Or would you rather go with theperson that maybe their bills
weren't always paid on time, butthey've traveled all around the
world and created peak lifeexperiences with their loved
ones and they took chances.
And you know what?
They'll die with the they willnot die with the things that,
(23:31):
the regrets of the things thatthey didn't do.
Like whereas the person that isjust always clinging to security
and comfort, it's imagine at thetail end of their life how many
regret.
On the things that they nevertook a chance on because they
were so just overthinkingeverything logically.
(23:54):
And I know I've been guilty ofthis especially as an analytical
person.
Today's session is gonna besuper valuable for those of you
who tend to fall in thiscategory.
It you've gotta take a chance,man.
Like for those of you who havedreams and goals and aspirations
and I get it, it's like we allwant security.
(24:15):
We all want peace of mind,right?
But do not go out with regretbecause there, there are tons of
studies like the five regrets ofthe dying.
You guys should look it uponline.
Look up the five regrets of thedying.
It's the five most common thingsthat people on their deathbed
they did a study on this.
But it's the five most commonthings that people typically
(24:37):
regret.
And usually it's the chancesthey didn't take or not living
up to their potential.
Don't go out like that becauseyou're caught up in clinging to
security.
And I know it's easier said thandone, but I'm telling you from
personal experience like todayit's interesting because
sometimes when people they'llcome, they'll see our lifestyle
(25:00):
and whether it's ushomeschooling our kids or us
being able to travel around theworld and not have to come home
or staying up as late as wewanna stay up and nowhere to be
in the morning.
But that came with a price thatcame with taking a chance.
And yeah, you have your your upsand your downs your peaks and
(25:20):
your valleys and all of thisstuff that comes along the way.
But when it's all said and done,at least you have the dignity in
saying that you took a chance.
Even if it doesn't work out okaymost of you guys live in the
western world where you canbounce back, but at least take a
(25:41):
chance.
Okay.
Now, if that chance is puttingyour family in danger, right?
In terms of your familysecurity, sometimes you have to
move a little different.
Sometimes you have to workfull-time on your job and
part-time on your dream.
Sometimes you have to do thenine to five on your job and the
five to nine on your dream.
(26:01):
And that's what it looks like.
And you have to go overtime,right?
But you work with what you got.
And there have been countlessscenarios of people over the
years who have done extremelywell with taking that approach.
Okay?
So here we go.
Let's jump into it.
Now, here's my question to you.
(26:21):
How many times have you had anidea, a dream or a goal, but
never acted because you talkedyourself out of it?
Drop a y in the comments ifthat's ever happened to you.
I.
I know a lot of people, forexample, that I mentor.
By the way I have a few slotsopen for my coaching on if
(26:48):
you're looking to launch apodcast, you're looking to get
into the coaching, consulting,speaking space.
I mentor people all throughoutthe year.
I have a certain limited amountof spots that I can open up with
my schedule to do these types ofprograms.
So if that interests you at alland you have any questions
regarding that, I'd be more thanhappy to answer any questions.
(27:09):
Just hit me up.
DM me the word coach, and Icould always send you some more
information on how that works.
I have tons of people that tuneinto the breakfast club that
I've certified over the years.
Different coaches and people whojust wanted to like, get into
public speaking, all that goodstuff.
But I wanted to bring that upbecause I have so many people,
(27:29):
for example that I've consultedon launching a podcast I've
consulted with.
Getting a book underway.
And a lot of them come to mebecause they've been having
paralysis of over analysis andthey don't execute.
So they'll get the coaching forthe accountability.
(27:50):
And I have tons of people thatI've encountered over the years
that they just overthink it.
They want everything to beperfect and understand that
perfectionism is the enemy toexecution.
If you are someone that feelslike everything has to be
perfect, you are going tostruggle with execution.
And I get it.
(28:10):
Of course, it would be amazingto have everything world class.
It would be amazing to have itall perfect.
But listen, not at the expenseof execution.
Not at the expense.
So when I first started theBreakfast Club, for example,
like you guys probably see allthe fancy stuff going on, but
when I started the BreakfastClub, honestly it was scrappy as
(28:32):
hell.
It was scrappy, but people lovedit.
They loved it.
I didn't have a fancy camera setup or fancy lighting set up or
nice little aesthetics oranything like that.
It was just super scrappy.
And sometimes I even cringelooking back at some of those
Breakfast club sessions I can'tbelieve I went in front of that
camera looking like that.
(28:53):
But during that time when Ifirst transitioned to Breakfast
Club, right before the PandemicOnline man it was just super
just Hey, let's just get thevalue out there.
I wasn't caught up in the waythat I looked or the way that I
presented myself or anythinglike that.
And the most important thingthough is that I started and I
(29:16):
was consistent every singleweek, just consistent.
I always put out the content andthat is ultimately what led to
my podcast, right?
And was my podcast perfect?
Is it still perfect?
Absolutely not.
But you know what?
It's consistent and it's outthere and it's all about the
value.
That's really what it comes downto.
I'd much rather just be outthere putting out the content,
(29:40):
putting out the value than tojust be waiting till everything
is right.
Everything is perfect, becausehere's the truth, the odds of
everything being perfect areslim to none.
It's never gonna be completelyright.
It's never gonna be acompletely, a hundred percent.
Even when I first became a dad Ireached out to my stepfather and
(30:00):
I'm like, man, like how do I dothis?
Because I didn't really read thebooks.
I had no idea like how to goabout being a dad, but you just
learn as you go.
You learn as you go.
And that's the case with evenbusiness sometimes.
Sometimes it is important tojust take that leap of faith and
grow your wings on the way down.
(30:24):
So moving forward, we have.
By the end of this, by the way,I'm gonna give you guys
practical strategies so you'renot overthinking all the time
and you can start executing onwhatever it is that you're
working on.
So make sure you're taking notesand you guys hear me say this
all the time, that note takerson money makers and the weakest
(30:48):
in is stronger than thestrongest memory.
Take notes as if you're gonnahave to teach this information.
And it's mind boggling to me howmany people want to be
successful so bad, but theycannot take the time to take
notes.
It like it's likecounterintuitive.
You're sabotaging your owndreams because you're not
(31:11):
willing to just go the extramile.
It's which student is gonna getthe most value in the classroom?
Is it the student in the backjust like hearing the words of
the professor?
Or is it the one up front?
Just glued in, locked in, takingthe notes, really doing their
best to process everything.
Whenever like you're gettingvalue or mentorship or coaching
(31:34):
or anything like that, be verydiligent with taking notes.
I, I had spoke to a group ofyoung men recently, and I
noticed that they were all justcircled around me and just
listening.
And I, and the first thing Imentioned is just you guys take
notes, what are you doing?
(31:54):
You know what I mean?
Take notes.
You're locked in to someone whois very successful and you have
the opportunity to learn fromthem.
And also you have an opportunityto leave a really good first
impression.
What if I was willing to hireone of them as an intern or
bring them onto my company?
Do you think I'm gonna go withthe kids that aren't taking
(32:16):
notes?
No.
I'm gonna go to the one that'slocked in, that's dialed in,
that's hungry for success.
So that, that's what it's aboutin the world of personal
development.
It's one thing to just tune inand listen in, but it's another
thing to really integrate andassimilate the knowledge that
you're learning.
Okay, so next, understanding,overthinking, understanding,
(32:39):
overthinking, define,overthinking in in the first
place, right?
Like how do you defineoverthinking?
As I mentioned earlier,paralysis of overanalysis,
right?
Looping thoughts, justconstantly thinking the same
thoughts, fear-based thinking,disguised as quote unquote
planning.
One of my clients is a fashiondesigner, and when I first
(33:00):
started working with him he wasjust caught up in the designs
and like for years just wasn'tputting out his work because he
was just so caught up in it.
And sometimes just havingsomeone to give you that extra
insight, having someone to helpcoach you through the process is
all that you need.
(33:21):
And sometimes you have blindspots that you're not even aware
of.
You don't even realize you'recaught up in paralysis of over
analysis.
Okay.
Sometimes you think thatplanning is part of the work,
you think that you're putting inwork just by planning or just by
researching.
And a lot of my clients I seethis all the time.
(33:43):
How did this week go?
Yeah.
I'm just looking things up andresearch is cool, but again, not
at the expense of never takenaction like you have to put in
the work.
You have to compliment it withit.
I remember one of my coaches, Iworked with this ontological
life coach years ago, and shehad highlighted to me that I was
(34:04):
hiding behind my personaldevelopment.
And boy was she right.
She was right.
Like I would go hours and hoursreading the books, listening to
the audios, because I was reallyfearful of just going through
the rejection.
Doing the things that I reallyneeded to do to move the needle
for the results that I wanted.
Okay, so this is super importantto understand.
(34:25):
Now, break down why you evenoverthink in the first place.
I'll give you some of thereasons why.
Number one, fear a failure.
Let's just call it for whatIt's, you are fearful of you.
You're not fearful of pursuingthat dream.
You're fearful of what otherpeople are gonna think if you
(34:49):
fail.
Oftentimes, that's really whatit is.
It's not the dream itself.
Chances are you embarked on thatdream because you love what it
is that you're doing.
But really what's holding youback is the fear of failure and
the fear of what is everybodygonna think if I don't succeed?
And that'll be one of thebiggest things that hold you
(35:09):
back, man.
If.
One of the, one of my favoritequestions when people interview
highly successful people is ifyou could do it all over again,
what would you do?
What would you do?
Because it I always think aboutthat.
If I could have done anythingover, and one of my best
responses or one of theresponses that, that I
(35:31):
definitely agree with, and Iknow it's the case, it's the
case for me, is I would'vegotten over what people thought
of me a lot sooner.
A lot sooner.
So for example, the first coupleof years of launching the
Breakfast Club online I did notgo public with it.
It wasn't on publicly like it istoday because I was just fearful
(35:52):
of like other people trollingme.
I'd look at Celebrity post andthe comments were just like,
wow.
Like people are going in.
And it's interesting, I had putup a post recently and the post
like.
I didn't provide a full amountof context or go down like
(36:14):
explanations of what it was thatI was saying.
And people completely tookeverything out of context and
were going in on the comments.
And if it were a few years ago,I would've been crushed by that.
Like honestly it would'vecrushed me because it would've
been like, oh my God.
'cause I was so caught up on theapproval, I was actually
fascinated about it.
(36:34):
Man there, there's still thatpart of me that it's like
annoying.
But there also is thatunderstanding that this is part
of the process.
If you're gonna be someone ofinfluence, just know that you're
gonna be criticized.
There are gonna be people whosay things.
If you have posts, for example,go viral, right?
And in the case of this post,like it started to go viral and
I'm getting all these commentsand everything like that, and
(36:59):
and I had to remind myself like,Hey, this just comes with the
territory, right?
There's no getting around that.
If you wanna be a person ofinfluence.
One of the best pieces of adviceI can give you is what I heard
from my mentor one years ago.
He said, if you wanna be admiredby thousands, you must be
willing to take ridicule from afew dozen ignorant ones, just
(37:19):
the way it is.
You wanna be admired bythousands.
You have to be willing to takeridicule from a few dozen
ignorant ones.
Yeah.
You're gonna have people whotroll your stuff.
You're gonna have people who saythings, but that's okay.
That's a part of the game.
So pers perspective will takeyou a long way.
It is important to have theright perspective whenever
you're pursuing whatever it isthat you're going for.
(37:42):
Number two is, again, fear ofjudgment.
So just what I was talking aboutyou're fearful of being judged
sometimes.
It's like you're fearful ofbeing judged by your own family,
by your own family, by, by yourparents.
What am I Parents are gonnathink.
Yesterday I was interviewing amaster barber.
He's a serial entrepreneur runsmany different businesses and.
(38:07):
He had mentioned that his momwanted him to be a, like a
doctor and go off to college.
And when he told her that he wasgonna drop out of college and
pursue a career in barbering,like she was super upset
initially with him, but heintentionally had his pay stubs,
(38:27):
or not his pay stubs, but likehis bank statements going to the
house and like she couldactually see how much money he
was making and and then thatkind of lit the light bulb wow,
he actually is doing quite wellfor himself.
And eventually he ended upopening up a really beautiful
barbers, probably the nicestbarbershop I've ever been to
(38:50):
downtown Tampa and a lot ofother businesses around it.
And has he mentioned that whenhe started to show his family,
how he was showing up for hischildren.
He has five children.
What they respected is like, howwell he just took care of his
(39:10):
family.
And you gotta respect it.
And initially you may be fearfulof the judgment of what is my
family gonna think?
What are my friends gonna think?
But at the end of the day, ifyou're taking care of business,
you're taking care of yourfamily and you're genuinely
happy.
Imagine being a doctor, right?
And your parents wanted you todo that, and now you're working
(39:33):
60, 70, 80 hour weeks and you'remiserable, right?
Is that really the path that youwant?
It's much better to do somethingthat you're genuinely happy
with, but as long as you areable to sustain yourself, that's
the important thing.
Next, we have desire forperfection.
As I mentioned earlier,perfectionism is the enemy to
execution.
(39:53):
So don't get caught up in that.
Even if your work is like aseven out of 10, listen, you
could always improve as you go.
There's still a lot of aspectsof my podcast, still a lot of
aspects of our live events,aspects of.
The Breakfast Club, all of thesethings that have to be worked
on, but honestly, it's like itis what it is.
Sometimes you have to understandthat when you are, when you're
(40:17):
too perfect, a lot of peoplewon't be able to relate to you.
You think that being superperfect is the way to go.
Like I, I remember when I wasworking on my vocabulary working
on just the way that I spoke andI started to feel out of touch
after a while because I was socaught up in sounding like a
(40:39):
scholar, but the average persondidn't talk like that.
The people that I led did notnecessarily talk like that, and
it was okay to just be myselfand not feel like I have to be
super, super polished.
And sometimes I have to go backto that.
Josh, you don't have to use likeall of these big words.
Keep it simple.
Because you're not relatablewhen you're using all of these
(41:02):
like sophisticated word words.
Now, are there moments where youmay have to code switch?
Maybe you're in differentenvironments, maybe it is
appropriate to use differenttypes of words.
Yeah.
But understand that again, ifyou're too perfect, too
polished, people are notnecessarily going to rock with
you like that.
Like I remember I oftentimesshare the story that I was in
(41:22):
this speaking competition, andit was like, America's Got
Talent, but for the bestspeakers in the United States.
And I remember one of the judgesmentioning that if you sound
like you're too perfect, right?
People are going to hate you.
Like straight up.
That's what the judge said.
(41:42):
They're not going to like, likeyou at all.
You're not gonna get voted forby the people because it's like
you're not relatable, you're outof touch.
Okay?
So it can actually work againstyou if you're so caught up with
perfectionism.
So never forget that.
Next, we have informationoverload.
So maybe you have too much goingon, you're doing the most, and
(42:06):
maybe you have too manypodcasts, YouTube videos, books,
advice, everything, and it'sinformation overload.
And that's what's causing you tohave paralysis of over analysis.
You have to scale down.
You have to simplify, right?
So if you're in the process,like you wanna do a podcast, you
wanna write a book, you wannalaunch these online courses, you
(42:29):
wanna do this and this, andbuild a community and all of
this stuff, listen.
Start with one thing at a time.
Because a confused mind doesnothing.
As the Chinese proverb states,the man that chases multiple
rabbits catches none.
Do not be that person trying todo everything all at the same
time, and you end up masteringnothing.
(42:50):
Okay?
So if you wanna launch apodcast.
Dedicate a season just to thepodcast.
If you wanna launch a book,dedicate a season just to the
book.
Now, are there people who can dothings simultaneously?
Absolutely.
But know thyself.
If that's not the case for you,take it one project at a time.
Okay?
Now also know that there's anillusion of safety.
(43:14):
Okay?
So the brain will trick you intothinking that not acting will
actually keep you safe when itreally keeps you stuck.
So sometimes people feel like ifI don't pull the trigger on
this, like at least I know I'msafe.
No, sometimes inaction is evenworse than action or taking that
(43:36):
chance.
Sometimes inaction like youthink it's inaction, but
inaction is also inaction.
You deciding consciously not todo anything.
Listen, the world is not gonnawait on you.
That comes with consequences.
Don't think that not acting isthe way E even if you have to
take a very small step, it'sstill an inch closer to the goal
(44:01):
line.
Do something.
Just keep yourself in motion,okay?
Now, always remember that themost successful people in the
world have acted without knowingeverything, have acted without
knowing everything.
When Elon Musk was startingSpaceX, he didn't know
(44:22):
everything about rockets.
He like literally had to startlearning about rocket science
from scratch, right?
The same with Tesla, the samewith every company that he's
launched.
It's like he had to learn newthings.
I had no idea how podcastingworks, but I went out there, I
did the research I learned thebusiness of it and everything
(44:43):
like that.
You have to remember that likeeverybody who has worked on
something great.
They were okay with starting,right?
Like the old cliche saying, youdon't have to be great to start,
but you have to start to begreat.
And it's okay that you don'tknow everything, but you just
kinda learn as you go.
(45:03):
Now the cost of overthinking,this is a whole other rabbit
hole that we can go down.
By the way, if you're gettingvalue so far, drop a V in the
comments.
All of your comments help, ofcourse.
So drop a v if you're gettingvalue so far.
Shout out to everybody tuning inon YouTube.
I see we got Instagram as well.
Facebook, we post a recording,so we're not live on Facebook,
(45:26):
but if you guys ever want to hopon live, just hop over to dn
breakfast club.com.
Okay, so here we go.
Next we have here, all right, wehave the cost.
Okay, so the cost ofoverthinking.
The first thing, and I love thisone in particular, and that is
missed opportunity.
(45:48):
So remember, some of your dreamsare time sensitive.
You don't have the luxury ofwaiting out, you're gonna miss
the boat.
And you have to be very mindfulof that.
It's like right now, forexample, you may wanna launch a
podcast, right?
And just know that podcasting ishot right now, but is it always
(46:09):
going to be hot?
Maybe not.
You have no idea.
AI right now is booming anddon't think that you can just
wait five years from now tostart embarking on ai.
Learn how artificialintelligence works, learn how
all these different things work.
Like there.
There are certain things thatare very time sensitive.
(46:31):
Now maybe you're wanting towrite a book and perhaps like
there, it's not a time sensitivething on the book, but maybe it
is.
Maybe there are certain thingsthat you're not actually seeing.
And when it comes to businessfollows trends.
There's trends, there's cyclicalthere's a cyclical nature to
business.
And you have to be able toidentify trends.
(46:53):
You have to be able to identifywhen it is the right time to
take massive action, but do notmiss opportunities because
you're just sitting there justoverthinking everything, okay?
When that idea is hot in, theemotion is strong, that's when
you should take action.
(47:13):
Next.
The other cost of overthinkingis mental exhaustion.
So isn't it crazy there, thereare people that get burnout.
Now, if you're gonna, if you'rethe person that's gonna
encounter burnout, don'tencounter burnout due to
inaction.
Encountering burnout due toinaction is so much worse than
(47:34):
encountering burnout because ofaction.
Because at least if you're goingthrough burnout I was watching
an interview by Mr.
Beast who's the number oneYouTuber in the world, and he
spoke about just like his worklife and how he goes so hard,
like he's constantly working ondifferent projects and putting
in these ridiculous hours everysingle week.
(47:56):
And eventually he gets to apoint of just all out exhaustion
just burnt out, and he'll need aday just to recover, and then
he's back at it, right?
But he's also massivelysuccessful.
But you have people on the otherside of the spectrum where
they'll burn out and they're noteven putting in any work.
They're just overthinkingeverything.
(48:18):
And then they burn out just fromthe process of overthinking, and
then they're left with regrets.
They're left with guilt.
So don't be that person.
Now, another cost is regretversus failure.
So remember this, failure giveslessons, but regret gives
(48:38):
nothing.
Failure gives lessons, butregret gives nothing.
So that's why it is so muchbetter to just swing the damn
bat.
At least you got in the game.
Even if you strike out, youstill got in the game and you
will never have that regret.
(48:58):
The pain of discipline weighsounces.
The pain of regret weighs tons.
Next remember people on theirdeathbeds regret what they
didn't do more than what theydid.
Do more than what they did do,okay?
They're countless stories ofpeople who waited too long and
(49:20):
missed their shot, right?
And.
They didn't take action when thetime was right.
So a prime example of this wouldbe the company Kodak.
You guys probably rememberKodak, and we all used Kodak
back in the day for likephotography.
And do you know that Kodak wasjust denying this whole digital
era that we were going in andthey took too long to adopt the
(49:45):
trend and end up having to filebankruptcy.
How many of you see Kodak today?
It was one of the most admiredcompanies, one of the largest
companies in the world, but theywaited, they did not take action
when the time was right and theypaid the price in a major way.
And this happens at theindividual level, it happens at
(50:05):
the organizational level.
So it is essential to, to makesure that you're taking action,
especially when the time isright now, shifting the mindset.
So one of the things that youwanna do is reframe failure.
So a lot of you are looking atit as failure, and you're all
caught up.
Trying to avoid it.
But remember, failure equalsdata, not identity.
(50:32):
I'll say that again.
For those of you in the back ofthe classroom, failure equals
data not identity.
So what do I mean by that?
Whenever you fail, you'relearning.
Like you, you wanna failforward, and it's not really
failure.
I was watching an interview thisweek with Tyler Perry and he had
mentioned to these group of guysthat he never failed in his
(50:53):
life.
And initially these guys werelike, what do you mean you never
failed?
And it's yeah, becauseeverything was a lesson.
Everything that he thought hefailed at in the moment led to
something even better, or helearned something along the way.
He got some kind of value out ofit.
(51:15):
So it is essential to, toreframe the way you perceive
failure.
Okay.
Another thing is to embraceimperfection.
So it's one thing to alwayswanna be perfect, but imagine if
you can be okay with beingperfectly imperfect.
That's really what it comes downto.
(51:36):
Being perfectly imperfect, beingokay with your imperfections.
Remember, done is better thanperfect.
Done is better than perfect.
Would you rather have a bookthat has the potential of being
perfect, or a book that'sactually out?
Maybe it's not perfect, but youactually have a book, right?
(51:57):
Or who would wanna be there juststuck and never putting out the
book, never putting out thepodcast, never putting out that
course, never putting outwhatever it is that you're
working on because you want itto all be perfect, be okay with
the imperfections.
Like I've had to embrace this ina major way.
Sometimes I've had life masteryevents that I've had live
(52:22):
webinars, things like that.
Even events that just,everything wasn't completely
dialed in, but at the end of theday it happened and it's so much
better that actually got donethan to have been caught up and
just trying to make everythingright.
Now this is not to negate thefact that you should always do
your best to be as world classas possible, right?
(52:45):
But not at the expense ofinactivity.
Now next we have trust.
The process.
Clarity comes from action, notthinking.
So sometimes you think thatthinking things through is gonna
give you clarity.
No.
Sometimes it's taking the actionis what actually gives you
(53:06):
clarity.
You learn as you go, you coursecorrect, and you make those
adjustments as you go.
Now I love this 80% rule.
I'll share it with you guys.
Take notes.
If you feel 80% ready move.
If you feel 80% ready, move someof you're waiting to be at a
(53:28):
hundred percent.
The moment you feel about 80%ready, you definitely like
you've reached a limit.
Go for it.
Okay?
Because you'll learn the other20% along the way.
You'll learn it along the way.
80% is enough to say, Hey, let'sgo.
Sometimes it doesn't even haveto be 80.
(53:49):
You could pull it off at 60 70,but when you hit about 80, just
go and make things happen.
So the idea is action is theantidote to fear sometimes when
you just get the ball rolling,that's how you overcome the
fear.
Because what tends to happen isif you are constantly
(54:10):
overthinking everything you'reactually making yourself more
fearful.
You're thinking of all thereasons why it won't work.
When was the last time youactually took the time to think
about all the reasons why itwill?
Why it will, and I have to catchmyself sometimes because I'll
start going down the rabbit holeof why something won't work and
(54:31):
not really putting enoughconsciousness and focus and
attention on all the reasons whyit can't.
Okay, so here's some practicaltools to stop overthinking.
First and foremost, we have thetwo minute rule.
I talk about this all the time,and it's inspired by James
Clear, who wrote the book,atomic Habits, and basically the
two minute rule is this.
(54:51):
If it takes less than twominutes, do it immediately.
Do it immediately.
Maybe it's picking up that phoneand making that call, right?
Maybe it's booking that meeting,whatever it is, but if it takes
less than two minutes, youshould do it because that's what
builds momentum sometimes it'sjust taking that little action,
(55:11):
that micro goal.
Okay, next, we have setdeadlines.
Time bound goals kill,overthinking.
So when you set those deadlines,and that's oftentimes what I do
with clients.
If I'm working with a client,what I'll do is I'll set a micro
goal for the week.
And if they don't follow throughon that micro goal, then there's
a fine associated with notfollowing through.
(55:35):
So you want to set deadlines,okay?
Because the deadlines, it makesyou just take action and go hard
and wanna get things done at aspecific time.
And this is why many of yourjobs, a lot of people who work
jobs typically have some kind ofdeadline to different projects
that they're working on becausethat's how you get things done.
(55:56):
Okay?
Now limit input.
So only consume info that leadsto direct action steps.
Limit your, the input.
Sometimes you're just inundatedwith too much information, it's
information overload.
You have too many people in yourear.
Sometimes it's just good to,again, scale down what it is
(56:18):
that you are consuming.
We also have decision filters,so ask, will this move me closer
to my dream?
Everything that you do, askyourself, is it moving me closer
or is it taking me further?
So for example, if part of yourdream is saving up for that new
(56:39):
home or saving up for that newvehicle, or saving up for that
vacation, but you're about to goblow money in the club, is it
moving you closer to your dream?
Absolutely not.
So why would you engage on it orengage in it?
And that's why oftentimes weshare the my, one of my favorite
philosophies is, if it ain't ahell yes, it should be a hell
no.
(57:00):
If you're thinking whether ornot Hey, is this really what I
wanted to list?
Just don't do it.
Don't do it because it's notmoving you closer to where you
wanna be.
Another thing is to break itdown.
Break it down.
So convert big goals into microsteps.
Win the day, not the decade.
Don't get caught up on thedecade or even the month.
(57:22):
Just focus on winning the day.
What are things that you can dotoday that can get you closer to
where you wanna be next?
We have an accountabilitypartner.
External push eliminates theoverthinking cycle.
Sometimes you just need thatperson in your corner to help
you, right?
(57:43):
Because they're there to holdyou accountable.
Hey, how's this thing going?
I know for me whenever I have agym buddy, for example, I find
myself more in the gym and Ifound myself working harder in
the gym when I have a gympartner, right?
It's just how it's, so having anaccountability partner always
helps.
Even in businesses that I'veran, like I was always a lot
(58:04):
more productive whenever I hadan accountability partner in
business.
Now, you could also have anaction journal.
So for those of you who journalI, and I would hope all of you
journal to in some shape orform, but write down one action
daily toward your dream andexecute it before bed.
(58:25):
So for those of you who aretuning in right now, think about
what you can do for today thatcan move you closer to your
dream and actually followthrough just one thing.
Okay?
Now, if you're getting value,once again, drop a comment, you
can put a V for value.
I wanna make sure you guys arestill with me here and we're
about to bring the plane in fora landing.
(58:47):
All right, so next there's somany stories I can tell you of
people who have gotten caught upin overthinking, whether it's
entrepreneurs who've launchedbefore they were ready to
launch, whether it was athleteswho took risk on the big stage.
You understand, like MichaelJordan, I remember just seeing
(59:11):
him play with the flu, right?
And still pushing forward sickas a dog and leading a team to a
championship, right?
It could be creators who startedsmall, but grew huge.
Some of your favorite creators,it could be YouTubers,
podcasters, authors, right?
And in terms of for me, again, alot of the things that I've
(59:34):
launched over the years, ifthere's anything that I'm
grateful for, is the fact that Ilet go of this idea of being
perfect a very long time ago, avery long time ago.
And I know people who legit willnot start speaking on a podcast
or they, they're not putting outcontent because they don't like
(59:54):
the way they look yet they're ontheir quote unquote weight loss
journey.
And I respect it.
It's like you may not want theworld to see you like that, but
how about if you had theperspective of, I wanna show
people my transformation.
I wanna show people like what Iovercame.
It's like a different way oflooking at things, okay?
Like for me, if I look at thework that I put out in the early
(01:00:14):
years, it's like super scrappy.
But I'm okay with that becausepeople can see the progression,
people can see the evolution,okay?
So it's not about havingeverything be a 10 out of 10.
All right?
So I wanna challenge you guys topick one dream you've been
sitting on and take action onthat dream within the next 24
(01:00:38):
hours.
What's that dream?
Whatever it is.
Maybe it's to buy that home, andmaybe you could start
researching things on that home,right?
But don't stay researching toolong.
Take some kind of action.
Maybe it's on reaching a certainlevel in your business and you
have to make some phone calls,reach out to some prospects,
land some customers, right?
(01:00:59):
Maybe you have to hire thatpersonal trainer.
Your dream has been to get sixpack abs, whatever it is, but
whatever that one dream is, anddo something today to take
action on that.
Okay?
And once again, for those of youwho are ready for that next
(01:01:19):
level dm, me, I'm always happyto provide coaching, insight,
mentorship, all of that stuff.
And I offer complimentarycoaching sessions for those of
you who feel like you can usethat extra push.
But my hope for you after tuninginto today is that you take
action.
You stop overthinking and allowyourself to just start building
some momentum.
(01:01:40):
Maybe today was a reminder foryou Hey, I don't have to have it
all perfect, or, Hey even if Ijust take one small step, it's
still a step in the rightdirection, okay?
And remember this, your dreamsare not waiting for you to think
more.
They're waiting for you to domore.
Okay.
They're not waiting for you tothink more.
(01:02:01):
They're waiting for you to domore.
So just to wrap up, rememberwhen it comes to everything that
we covered go back andunderstand overthinking in the
first place.
Know that there's a cost tooverthinking and it typically
comes down to going through amindset shift to break out of
(01:02:24):
the overthinking.
And you have all the practicaltools, whether it's the two
minute rule setting, deadlineslimiting, how much input you
take in, right?
Having those decision filters,like asking yourself, will this
move me closer to my dream?
Breaking it down into microgoals, having an accountability
partner, or even an actionjournal.
(01:02:44):
These are all practical toolsyou can take on today.
To move the needle with yourdreams.
So ladies and gentlemen, I hopethat this was super valuable for
you.
If it was, drop a comment.
Once again comment, share, tag,subscribe.
Thank you.
For all of you who share starsor subscribe to, my work is
greatly appreciated.
And remember, as I mentionedearlier, you do not have to be
(01:03:06):
great to start, but you have tostart to be great.
Breakfast is serve.
God bless every last one of you.
I'll be seeing you all nextweek.
Take care everyone.
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