December 22, 2024 • 46 mins
Upcoming Retreat Information:
Sedona March 18-23, 2025: https://www.lgwholisticwellness.com/sedona-retreat-registration
What if you could transform your life amidst the chaos of setbacks and self-discovery? Join us on the Joyful Shaman Podcast as we explore a journey filled with healing, growth, and the pursuit of joy. In this episode, I open up about the emotional rollercoaster of planning shamanic retreats, facing the disappointments of cancellations, and embracing new opportunities in Sedona—a place that has captivated my dreams for years. We delve into the intricacies of organizing the Shamanic Spring Awakening Retreat, where sound baths, breathwork, and Jeep vortex tours await those looking for transformation. Together, we'll envision a retreat that invites connection and renewal against Sedona's breathtaking backdrop.
As the episode unfolds, I share a candid reflection on managing emotions and setting boundaries during my hormone replacement therapy journey. The challenges of mood swings and nighttime panic attacks are met with the steadfast support of my family, providing insights into complex sibling dynamics and the importance of meaningful connections. Through tarot readings and group breathwork sessions, I uncover the emotional demands of facilitating healing while pursuing alignment with my highest good. The path to personal growth and self-care reveals itself in unexpected ways, urging balance between professional ambitions and personal needs.
Finally, we explore the healing power of pets and the family dynamics that come with welcoming a new dog amidst health concerns and emotional complexities. The decision to adopt a Jack Russell Terrier brings to light the cherished memories of past pets and the emotional resonance they hold. This heartfelt narrative underscores the importance of collaboration, gratitude, and hope as tools to overcome isolation and depression. With an invitation to connect, I assure you that we are all on this journey together, and I look forward to sharing this space of vulnerability, resilience, and joy with each of you.
I'd Love To Connect With You..Send Me A Message!
To Connect With Me, Visit Me At: www.joyfulshaman.com
Follow Me On Instagram: @joyfulshaman
Have Questions Or Episode Ideas?? Email Me!
Naomi@joyfulshaman.com
Thank You So Much For Supporting Me & Energetically…The Collective
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Joyful Shaman Podcast.
I'm Naomi, your host with themost, and we are back again part
two of my last episode, and soI'm just going to get right into
it, as my thoughts are readyand full, which I encourage you
(00:22):
to do before you listen to thispart.
I am going to be talking aboutsome new ventures for me, some
new aha moments, some ways thatI've been working on healing
these old mindsets, reallyletting go to the rigidity of my
thinking, and just to remindyou that, as a shaman, we are
wounded healers.
We don't hold all of theanswers of the universe and
(00:46):
we're never going to tell youwhat to do.
All we can do is just share ourexperiences with you and just
remind you that we ourselves arestill undergoing, and will
continue to go throughout ourwhole lifetime, our own healing
journey, and so we will struggle, and this is one of those times
that I am struggling, and I amputting it out there as a way
(01:06):
for me to mentally andemotionally process, but also as
a teaching moment as well.
So, okay, back to what I wantto share.
So I have made the decision toreally move forward and jump in
100% into the retreat arena.
For some reason this whole year, since attending all of these
(01:30):
retreats, I'm like I really wantto share shamanic practices,
ceremonies, teachings and justreally work with groups of
people to share medicine.
If it's not happening within mycommunity on a consistent basis
, I still, in my heart, have atrue passion and desire to teach
(01:51):
it.
So if that means I need toleave constantly to go and
create these healing containersand spaces for people to come
from all over the world andexperience these practices with
me, then so be it, damn it, I'mgonna create it.
So that is my newest venture.
That is how I am pivoting mybusiness.
(02:13):
I'm going to have a justsmaller personal practice here
in Lakeland because I feelthat's just the way that the
universe is aligning it for meand really pushing me to go out
and be all in in these retreatsand to seek and collaborate with
other retreat leaders to createpowerful and unique experiences
(02:38):
all over the world.
And so I made that decision.
I reached out to a person that Iknow that I was supposed to do
a retreat on Anna Maria Islandhere in Florida on the first
weekend of December and that hadto get canceled because the
hurricanes destroyed the beachand the house.
So naturally, of course it wasreally sad Couldn't do that and
(03:01):
she really wanted to still do anevent with me.
And she asked me and she saidwould you be interested in going
all in as a co-leader for aretreat, say in the springtime?
And I said absolutely.
And I said my one stipulationis I don't want to do it in
Florida.
The Gulf Coast has beenbrutally destroyed and is still
(03:24):
being cleaned up and it's goingto take a long time for the
beaches and those areas tobecome open again and revived
and for people to want to cometo Florida.
So I said any retreats that Ido in 2025, all out of Florida,
no ifs and or buts.
And she said I agree.
She said what do you think aboutSedona?
And I almost jumped up out ofmy seat in that moment and I was
(03:48):
like Sedona has been a longtime dream of mine.
I have never been to Sedona,but I keep seeing these red
rocks in my meditation andstanding on these red rocks and
being with groups of women there, and I was like absolutely a
thousand fucking percent, we arecreating a retreat for Sedona.
And we did the whole month ofNovember.
(04:10):
I busted my ass.
Despite my other inhibitions.
I was like I'm throwing myselfall in here.
If I was going to exert anytype of energy, it was making
the phone calls, getting theinformation, creating the
Instagram reels, getting theinformation, you know, creating
the Instagram reels, doingwhatever I needed to do to
create this dream retreat andexperience that was all
(04:32):
inclusive of like everything,and I wanted to do it during the
spring equinox.
To be in Sedona to stand onthose red rocks at the changing
of the seasons was so powerfulfor me and that is the reality
that I have created, and it'sjust an example to show you how
(04:53):
you can shift and change yourreality through the power and
intention of your mind and yourthoughts.
You know I took action.
I took intentional action,intuitive action to do this work
, and so we have launched theShamanic Spring Awakening
Retreat for March 18th throughthe 23rd of 2025 in Sedona Six
(05:17):
days, five nights, everythingall inclusive.
We rented this gorgeous homeright outside of Sedona, 20
minutes outside of Sedona, inCotwood.
It is a seven bedroom home, nobunk beds, no trundle beds, has
a private pool, hot tub, firepit, private hiking trails, in
(05:37):
between two big vortexes.
There in Sedona we have thisamazing, viral social media chef
that is going to be coming,private chef that's going to be
providing amazing plant-basedfoods, but we'll be able to
cover all dietary preferencesand restrictions and we're
(05:59):
excited about that.
Doing the sound bath,meditation, shamanic breath work
, blue lotus ceremony, cacaoceremony, embodiment dance
ceremony, drum circles I'm goingto be teaching on my soul
writing workshop, an intuitivedevelopment workshop.
I am doing so much.
I'm going to do a medicinewheel ceremony on a stupa that
(06:21):
is a very well-known place onone of the rocks that has a
medicine wheel there.
So we're going to be doing aflower ceremony, kind of Mayfair
ceremony, on the spring equinox.
We're even renting, we're doinga Jeep private vortex tour
where we'll be led on theseprivate hikes right in the heart
(06:41):
of these vortexes and drivingoff-roading with jeeps.
I think that's so fun and we'llhave plenty of time to go into
Sedona to shop and eat andexplore and do all the fun
things too, plustransportation's included and
it's just a magical dream cometrue trip.
And the last thing about theretreat is my friend, ga-li Du,
(07:03):
who is the photographer that Imet that did all of our
photography and videographyempowerment shoot in Tulum,
which I absolutely love mypictures that she did there.
He's going to be coming anddoing all of the videography,
photography and, as a wonderfulgift to all of the attendees,
which will just be for women,this retreat is an empowerment
(07:23):
shoot on the Red Rocks in Sedona, and I'm just so grateful for
this because I'm like, wow,first retreat, go big or go home
, right.
So I was like I'm going to goall in, I'm going to do it.
So we've launched it.
It's active.
You know, we're actively bothof us promoting it.
We have faith.
(07:44):
I have faith that the Brightattendees we're looking for, I
believe, 12 women to come andjoin us and it's going to be a
powerful, transformationalexperience.
And so I'm jumping into theworld of retreats, so much so
that I have just been activelyconnecting on social media with
other collaborators, justletting it happen organically of
(08:07):
like, hey, I'm looking tocollaborate, I'm looking to
co-lead and just connecting withpeople.
I planned that retreat.
I am going back to Santa Fe inApril because I fucking love
that city and I'm gonna create aretreat in Santa Fe.
I created a creative expressionretreat.
So this is like Girls Get Awaymeets Bohemian Wild Woman, free
(08:29):
Spirit, and it's called Echoesof Self.
I'm partnered with a musicianthat's based out in Portland and
we are going to be doing asacral chakra healing retreat
where we are learning a varietyof different creative
expressions.
So we're going to be doingsongwriting and singing, goddess
(08:50):
, yoga, embodiment, dance, soundbaths every day, yoga every day
.
We're even going to a localpaint or art studio in Santa Fe
to do a shamanic, guided spiritanimal painting that you get to
take home.
You know, it's just going to bethis beautiful five-day,
four-night, all girls or allwomen retreat in the gorgeous
(09:15):
Hotel Santa Fe.
You know, and I'm just soexcited to like, take people on
a place of like this is one ofmy favorite new cities, okay,
and there's really magical landand it's very healing land and I
want to take the right peoplethat can embrace it and just
push themselves out of theircomfort zones and just explore
(09:36):
and get inspired and find thatspark.
Whether you're a business owneror just a divine being or just
you know someone that Ipersonally know like, come hang
out with me.
This is the ultimate girl'strip, so that's happening in
April.
Another manifestation, thirdretreat that I'm about to launch
in the new year is Olympia,washington, the beginning of
(09:56):
June.
This is gonna be calledVibrations of you.
This is a deep shamanic healingand Reiki retreat.
This is open for all people,men and women and fluid people,
however you identify and this isgoing to be in the heart of
Olympia, in the beautifulretreat house on Eld Inlet, so
right on the water.
(10:17):
You can see Mount Rainier.
It's going to be five days,four nights.
Powerful yet gentle connectionto nature.
So a lot of nature hikes, doingharmony ceremony along the
beaches there, just reallyconnecting to yourself and
understanding who you are.
It's a journey ofself-discovery and myself and my
(10:39):
co-host will be doing a lot ofone-on-one energy healing that
will be included.
Same thing powerful chef theregorgeous retreat house called
Ebb and Flow.
So it's just going to be thisbeautiful experience.
And then I'm working on someother things for the summer and
I'm going to keep finding peoplebecause I'm going to travel
from March through October ofnext year.
(11:00):
I have already determined thatI have put that out into the
universe and so I'm just tryingto get my brain to stop fucking
up and tell me and make me feelscared or make me feel like what
the fuck am I doing?
And doubting and just empowermyself.
So that's what I'm doing I'mstepping into retreats.
(11:21):
I'm making that my mainbusiness next year and then
continuing to balance my clientswhile I'm here in Lakeland, but
looking forward to sharing trueshamanic work, true shamanic
experiences in these amazingspaces Next year.
For right now I'm just going tobe in the US 2026.
I am going overseas and the US.
(11:43):
You know, I am being really,really open and proud of myself
and like really tapping intothat Capricorn business side of
me of like creating thelogistics and calling and
creating the marketing plans andthe financial budgets and all
of this and like I'm thriving.
I'm like tapping into thatformer corporate self who could
create a spa retreat and get 150people into her spa in three
(12:08):
days and boom, boom, boom.
That's still ingrained in me.
I was like, oh, I got back onthat bike.
I like that about me.
But it's also exasperated mysleep stuff because it's been
good but it's also been superstressful for my brain.
So I am just taking a lot ofrest right now.
But some lessons that I amlearning.
(12:29):
That's coming up for me is I amstill really combative against
certain parts of transformation.
That's really holding me back,I think, from having more
success or maybe faster successwithin myself.
And then I had to redefine whatdoes success mean for me?
I'm not trying to focus so muchon the material possessions or
(12:51):
things that I would like.
I just want some fuckingfinancial stability, and I think
all of us right now, especiallyduring the times in our country
, are like I wanna be able topay my bills.
I wanna be able to have moneyin my bank account to eat.
I wanna be able to put gas inmy car.
I'm grateful that my parentslet me drive their car, because
I don't have a car.
I'm grateful that my parentslet me live in their house,
because I'd be fucking homeless.
So there are things that I'mtrying to find gratitude for,
(13:15):
despite me feeling some kind ofway.
So I've been doing some deephealing of letting go of some
shit.
Well, during this time healingof letting go of some shit Well,
during this time, I just reallyneeded to try to make a path of
healing with my mother, and soI spoke to my mom.
You know we cleared the airabout some things and, yes, I
(13:36):
still have my boundaries and,because I'm on the HRT, some
days are better than others.
I know when I wake up and I'min a crab ass mood and I'm like,
oh, everybody's just fuckingstay away from me.
I just say it because I'm likenot in the mood.
Don't talk to me, like justleave me alone.
You know, and I've beenspending most of my days just in
my room, outside of work, justworking on things and just
(13:59):
trying to sleep while I can,honestly, because my brain and
my circadian rhythm are really,really off right now in a bad
way.
It's so much so that I'mstarting to have some nighttime
panic attacks, which isn't great.
So I'm mindful of her and justrespecting distance.
But I'm talking to my mother,which has been really good.
(14:22):
I talk to my dad.
I'm not open to talk to mysister right now.
I think there's a lot of anger,I think there's a lot of
resentment, I think there's somecommunication issues there and
I have to remember that mysister is quite emotionally
immature and that is myperspective and is not willing
to be open to spirituality orconversations about spirituality
(14:45):
or deeper conversationsemotionally, and so it's a very
superficial escapismconversations and I'm not really
about that.
I'm a depth person.
That's just who I am, and soI've just been keeping my
distance because my sisterreally likes the holiday season
and I'm very indifferent to itand you know I don't want to
(15:07):
upset her and I also don't.
I'm having a hard timecontrolling my emotions myself,
so I don't want to be triggeredby something she says or
something that she does and it'snot really her fault.
It's just woundings that I'mhealing right now and not be
able to control my reaction.
I want to be able to respond,but right now I'm learning to
just have better control, so Iam getting better.
(15:32):
You know work had picked up alittle bit.
You know it could be better,but you know I'm trusting that
this move into this house, thisnew business location, is going
to be for my highest andgreatest good.
I've been doing tarot readingslike every night, being like how
can I shift things?
And tarot is so crystal clear.
(15:53):
They're like bitch.
You need to get past your past.
You need to let go of yourrigid thinking.
You need to let go of yourfears of failure and you need to
let go of the self-doubting.
You need to build yourself-confidence back up.
Build up your self-esteem.
Don't be so isolated.
You know, seek connections,seek help.
(16:15):
Talk to your counselor.
So Tara has been crystal clearof like you can do it.
It's going to be a challengingroad.
I think that the house is alearning lesson for Cassie, for
her and her own ways that she'sgoing to experience.
And I think the house for me islike are you going to
self-sabotage and go intonegative coping mechanisms and
go into this new year with fearand then everything,
(16:38):
vibrationally, that energy thatyou're feeding into fear, is
going to lead you to struggleand have to resort to
overworking or doing things thatyou don't want to do, that are
not in alignment, just to makeends meet.
No, I don't want to do that.
So tonight, on this wintersolstice, you know, I am really
(16:59):
actively asking spirit to helpme, to really help my heart to
let go, to help my mind rewireits fucking self, to really let
shit go like a lot.
And I think it's just harderfor me because I always find
myself in the last couple ofyears, in this cycle around the
(17:19):
holidays of just strugglingfinancially, of just wondering
is this how it's always going tobe?
Is this the way my life is?
Is it all my fault?
I've been thinking that a lot.
Is this all my fault?
Did I cause a lot of this?
I recognize that some of myspending habits and behaviors
can be quite impulsive,especially when I'm feeling
(17:40):
stressed out or upset and Iwanna make myself feel better.
I know I'm not the only onethat does that.
We all do things that bring uscomfort in the moment and then
we're right back where we wereDopamine hit and then we fall,
and it's been hard for me to domy meditations.
December, cassie and I did ourgroup sound bath meditation and
(18:00):
that was really beautiful.
It was a really serene moment.
Yesterday, I did my first groupbreathwork journey for winter
solstice and 10 people came.
I've only done breathworkone-on-one for my somatic Reiki
that I've talked about on herefor the last three years, and I
felt the calling to do it and 10people came and it was profound
(18:25):
.
By the way, I am going to dropthe playlist for the Winter
Solstice Breathwork Journey onhere.
It's been an extremelydownloaded episode on YouTube
and the podcast.
So, wow, I will put up thatplaylist so you can continue
your breathwork along the winterseason.
But it was really powerful towitness that and, even though I
(18:47):
wasn't breathing, I was doingextraction, I was helping people
rebirth, I was helping peopleremove and release.
It was a lot of energyexpenditure for me too, and so I
had to do a lot of clearing.
And so today I went thismorning, early this morning,
(19:08):
with a buddy and a client ofmine to our new location, to
this historic home that I talkedabout in the last episode,
because I needed to help myfriend move some old furniture
out of there.
And you know, put eyes on theplace before Cassie and I start
moving our table and setting upour equipment and stuff and I
(19:30):
freaked out again.
I like quietly freaked out, andanother buddy came and met me
there and he's a massagetherapist and was like are you
okay?
And I'm like, low key, no, I amnot okay.
And he's like what's going on?
And I'm like the conferenceroom is a little smaller than
(19:50):
what I thought it was.
It's not as wide.
I thought we would be able toput our table in there and have
space for our sound bathmeditation.
The front entry area Originallythere is a huge built-in 1980s
laminate desk that's attached tothe wall that the owner of the
home, an older woman, didn'twant to be removed.
(20:11):
But I'm like this is limitingme.
I can't do my meditations, Ican't do my gatherings here.
I want to continue to do breathwork.
I even wanted to do mooncircles and do cacao ceremony
and do blue lotus tea ceremoniesthere.
I wanted to do more things withmy community in this magical
house.
I keep telling people I am in mypractical magic era with this
(20:32):
house.
It's what it looks like itliterally does, and I was really
disappointed and I'm likepanicking.
Cassie right now is in Savannahfor the weekend with her
husband and her kids for asurprise little getaway that her
husband did right before theholidays and that's awesome.
And I'm like, oh my God, I needto talk to my business partner
because my brain ismalfunctioning right now and if
(20:54):
I don't get it out, I'm going todwell on this all day long.
Not as severely as if I wasn'ton my progesterone and my
calming supplements, but it wasjust like I want to talk to her.
I'm not sure if we're makingthe right decision.
So I talked to my buddy aboutit.
It was really nice to hear meout and he's like, dude, if it's
(21:15):
not a fuck, yeah, like you areall in on it.
He's like you got to talk toher and he's like the sooner the
better, because you broughtyour money to your landlord and
I was like I know, and so I, youknow, made some calls today.
I actually spoke to the son ofthe owner of the house and I was
just like, hey, man, I reallyneed to move this desk out of
(21:39):
there.
I have somebody that can safelyremove it from the wall.
I have a storage unit that Ican store it in for the
remainder of the lease orhowever long I'm there in the
house, and I will bring it backwhen the time comes and we'll
put it back in the house when weleave.
And he's like that's fine.
And I was like what?
And he's like my mother, whoowns the home, had a nasty fall
(22:02):
and is in the hospital.
She shattered her pelvis and Iwas like, oh my God, that's
awful.
And she's like she has to go toa rehab center.
So I am going to be your pointof contact for the house.
Here is my number Call me ifyou need anything, anything that
you need, I'm there to help you.
And I was like, okay, thismakes me feel better now that
we're going to move the desk out, because now that opens up
(22:24):
space in the front entry area,now we do have to share the
house with a few other people,so there is an office on the
front side of the house thatbelongs to a mutual friend of
Cassie and I, dr AngelaBoatwright, who is a doctor of
oriental medicine and anacupuncture physician.
So she's been in there sinceJuly.
(22:45):
We got her in the house when heroffice had to suddenly close
after nine years that she wasworking in, and so it was our
intention to move in the summer,but it didn't quite work out
timing for us.
And then my friend who had herlaw practice there, was working
with two other attorneys thatshe contracted to help her out
with her cases.
(23:05):
Well, they retained theiroffices upstairs.
So they have offices elsewhere,but they have offices up there.
So the agreement was to allowus to move into their conference
room.
The part where that ugly deskis that's going had to be
converted into a conference areabecause they still meet with
(23:27):
clients in person from time totime and want to be able to do
that downstairs.
Not a problem, it's away fromour room.
It, you know, totally cool withus and we were just grateful.
So I'm feeling better that thedesk is now going to be moved.
But the house is old.
It's almost 120 years old and,man, it smells like an old house
(23:52):
, not like a great library smellwith the books.
No, it smells musty and I'm notgoing to lie, and I know the
paint is old.
The carpet, thank goodness, islike that commercial carpet.
That's low, but it probablyhasn't been professionally deep
cleaned in a long time and it'sa lot of dust and the drapes are
(24:12):
old and dusty and I had to takethat shit down.
And so I'm like, oh fuck, thisis a lot of work that we're
going to have to do to move inin the next week and a half,
christmas and New Year's.
I was like great, because wehave clients at the beginning of
the month At least I do and soI'm like all right, you know,
(24:32):
cassie, when she comes back shegonna have to put in some elbow
grease with me and we're gonnahave to scrub these walls with
vinegar and water.
And I need to have my buddyremove the desk and we got to
move it into our storage unit.
So I got to clean that outtomorrow to create space.
I had to call Stanley Steamerto come in and deep clean the
front entry area in our room.
I can't, you know, I'm notcleaning the rest of the house.
(24:54):
That's their responsibility.
And we've got to deep clean ourwalls because it smells in not
a great way and I don't want towelcome our clients into this
magical home that they're likeoh my gosh, we're excited for
you.
And it smells like death alittle bit in there.
So I have my work cut out and soI did talk to Cassie.
(25:16):
She said she was cool with metalking to her as her husband
was driving to Savannah today,and I didn't try to be negative,
nancy, but I was like, hey, man, you know, we're going to have
to go to a locksmith.
The lady put a special lock onthe door.
That's high security and onlythis one person in town makes
the keys and they're like 50 to100 bucks a key.
(25:37):
And I was like, damn, thissucks, you know.
And I was like, all right, itis what it is, and we only have
one.
And so she's going to like atfirst like we're not going to be
able to move the desk andthere's not really a lot of
space for sound baths, so we mayhave to ask our chiropractic
doctor if we can still dogatherings there.
(25:57):
And she was like, and I waslike dude, you just have to see
the space when you come back onMonday we need to go together so
that before we make any othermoves in this house, we agree
and I'm going to write asubcontract lease, you know,
with my friend so that ifanything happens she's protected
(26:19):
and I'm protected because Itechnically signed the lease to
sublease and then Cassiesubleasing from me, so it's
sublease, sublease, subleasing.
It goes down the line.
So I'm feeling better about thehouse.
It's just a lot of physicalwork over a short amount of time
and every single time that I'vemoved my business, I've always
(26:40):
had to do it alone and I don'twant to do that again and I
refuse to do it.
So even if it takes us theentire month of January to move,
I will not be doing it alone.
Cassie will be helping me.
We are going in 50-50.
We are splitting the cost 50-50.
We are gonna do what it takesto get in there and make it be a
(27:02):
special space.
So I'm feeling more groundedabout that and I do feel like
being in the house is going tobe challenging.
I am going to have to makegreater effort.
2024 was my year of rest.
Why?
Because it was a year nine ofnumerology for me, of, like my
foundation, my life, tired,fucking crumbling and it's still
crumbling, so I know that'scontinuing into 2025.
(27:23):
So I do want to make moreeffort because all I've done is
worked my ass off for 17 years.
I've been working nonstop sinceI was 17 and I'm 37 and a half
now, so over 20 years and so Iwas like you know what?
I'm going to take a fuckingbreak.
I don't have to work so hard.
I'm not paying rent, blah, blah, blah.
Like money was still good, butI was so miserable doing fucking
(27:44):
massage Like I just wanted itto end and my body hurt all of
this and I just wanted to focuson myself.
So now I'm like I understand Ineed to make equal efforts on my
retreat stuff and within mylocal community while I'm still
here.
You know more than justfinancial.
It's just part of my path.
I need to be giving equallyfrom my heart to people and
(28:07):
doing it from the bottom of myheart.
And if I'm not happy doingsomething, I need to pause and
reflect and introspect, and if Ijust don't like it, I just need
to stop.
So I've been working a lotthrough these triggers and it's
been a journey.
Mercury retrograde sucked ass.
(28:28):
It felt like another eclipseseason for me.
Mercury retrograde, marsretrograde, like it was so hard
to get communications out,emails out, especially talking
and planning all these retreatson another time zone.
I was working with MountainTime and Pacific Time and then
just like doing a whole bunch ofother work and just, I think my
(28:49):
biggest thing overall thismonth is I have felt like I
really overwork and overcommitto things and spread myself out
too thin and I'm still afraid tolet people know like, even
though I can do it and you can't, I don't really want to do it,
you know, and if I have themoney, I'd rather hire somebody
(29:10):
to help me do it than try to doit all myself to save a buck.
But if I don't have the moneyto do it, then I just need to
really manage my time and do alot of self-care and work in
spurts and then sleep and thenwork in spurts and sleep.
So it's been a journey.
It's been a journey and I, likeeveryone else, am ready for
(29:33):
fucking 2024 to end.
But I wanted to end in a placeof empowerment and strength and
hope and surrendering, and Ifeel like I will get there.
Christmas isn't a big thing forme, you know.
I just always try to be ingratitude.
I'm not a person that givesgifts.
I don't really like to receivegifts.
(29:55):
You know I like seeing thetrees and trying not to eat all
the damn cookies all the time.
You know I'm trying to maintainmy diet that I've been doing
pretty good on and just keep mybody moving and just remembering
to find joy, and I'm trying mybest not to escape.
I don't doom scroll, but I tendto spend a lot of time on
(30:18):
social media looking atspiritual content and seeing my
clients happy and seeing theirposts about Christmas lights and
their family traditions andstuff, because my family doesn't
have any and I think that'sanother reason why I've been
feeling really sad is I justfeel really isolated right now,
like I have Cassie and I have mycommunity and you know I
(30:39):
connect with people on socialmedia.
But to live in a home wherenobody talks to anybody, there's
no special traditions, it'sloud, it's argumentative, it
just exacerbates the feelings ofdepression and so I'm trying to
keep my head above water andjust really launching myself out
(31:00):
of that depression pool as muchas possible.
Well, today my mother and mysister went and got a new family
dog and our only family dogthat we have ever had, my only
dog I've ever had growing up.
That died almost eight yearsago.
She was the love of my life.
(31:21):
She was a beautiful CavalierKing Charles Spaniel.
She was a sassy girl.
She did whatever she wanted.
She was stubborn, she prettymuch had my energy and my
personality and in fact I wasthe only one that she liked to
sleep with at night and it wasthe only bed that she never peed
and pooped in.
She respected me and I alsodidn't tease her and I gave her
(31:42):
healthy treats and I massagedher and petted her all the time
and talked to her gently and Ithink she just really liked my
energy.
That dog is just always in myheart.
I talk to her all the time, youknow, out loud.
I tell her that I miss her andI've been really missing her a
lot because I have on my laptopas my screensaver a picture of
me at 20 years old holding heras a puppy, you know, with our
(32:09):
like at Christmas, in front ofour tree, and I was so sick, I
had a huge cold and my face waspuffy, but it was like my
Christmas photo that I put intogreeting cards and sent out to
people was her and I and I seethat picture all the time and
I'm just like I miss you, babygirl, so much.
Well, my mother's been wanting adog and, yeah, my sister's been
wanting a dog and we all beenwanting a dog for many years.
(32:30):
But with my dad's dementiaprogressing and my dad has this
habit long before he hadcognitive impairment of leaving
the doors open to our house allthe time without fear of
burglary or crime or anything,or crime or anything, it's
(32:51):
become an issue when we had ourother dog where she would get
out to the garage or run aroundthe house and then we're trying
to chase her because she likedto chase cars and we were scared
that she was going to get hit,and so we just were like, well,
we're just never going to beable to have a dog while dad's
still here on the earth becausewe can't trust my dad with doors
.
But my mom, for many years, hasjust been really really diving
into this deep cycle ofdepression and just giving up on
(33:12):
life and not really caring forher mental health, not really
caring for her physical healthat all, and just really becoming
angry and bitter and sad.
And it's sad for me to see mymother be like that, because she
doesn't have to be like that,but it's a choice and she just
has been dreaming and desiringto have a dog because it gives
her something to do and shereally wants to take care of it
(33:35):
and that's like her wholeexistence.
And so she got my dad to agreerepeatedly this year by saying
you promised me that we can geta dog, you promised me that we
can get a dog.
She told me that she evendrafted up something that she
made my father sign so that ifthey got a dog he couldn't
renege on it and that she wouldbring it up and show him when he
(33:58):
no longer remembered that.
She would show him the paper.
And I was like, damn, that'ssome crazy shit.
But I have no place to sayanything because this is their
house, this is their life.
I'm moving on and I'm not apart of that.
Now, if we are going to have afamily dog, I would prefer to
(34:19):
have the same breed as before,because she was just like a
cuddle bug and so soft andsquishy and I loved her.
But you know it's not my choice.
So my mother and my sister wentto a rescue and adopted, I
believe, what looks like a JackRussell Terrier dog.
Jack Russell Terrier dog mygrandfather, when he passed away
(34:41):
over 12 years ago he had alittle rat terrier that we took
and that became like my sister'ssoul dog, our family dog my
sister chose as well at 18.
But when we inherited mygrandfather's dog that my sister
really bonded to that dog andso I think my sister has really
been missing those terrier typeof dogs.
(35:03):
And so they found this JackRussell I don't know where I'm
not part of any of that and Idon't want to be and they went
and got the dog and today, inthe midst of like my frustration
and freaking out and thentaking like a seven hour nap to
calm down, I could hear you knowlittle tapping of feet on the
(35:27):
tile floors and thinking, my God, what kind of dog did they get?
What does this dog look like?
Is my dad going to be okay?
Am I going to be okay?
I'm going to be okay.
And after those naps, when youwake up and you're like, what is
reality?
Am I on even earth?
I step out of my room.
The lights are on in the livingroom.
(35:49):
My mother has to have thesespecial lights installed in the
house that look like floodlights.
I'm not even playing becauseshe's visually impaired, so it's
like super bright and I've beensleeping in darkness with an
eye mask and I open up, mysister is sitting on her
recliner chair and there's thisdog with a cone around its neck,
like looking at me like I don'tknow you, I haven't seen you,
(36:09):
and I'm locking eyes and Iprobably don't have the best
face because I'm just like whatis in front of me and so I'm
just not in the energy ofwelcoming a dog and I don't want
to be around an animal that'sjust been brought to a new
location and just kind offiguring out what is this place.
So I've just been kind ofstaying in my room but I hope to
(36:33):
be more open to the dog.
But I think I just have apreference of wanting my own dog
at a later time in my life whenI'm more settled and maybe not
traveling and have maybe apartner, you know, when I'm much
older.
So that is going to be adifferent energy in the house.
(36:54):
I hear a lot of baby talk rightnow, a lot of squealing, a lot
of loudness and sound.
I'm very sensitive to sound.
Squealing, a lot of loudnessand sound.
I'm very sensitive to sound.
So I'm just really trying to bepatient right now and trying to
find the joy that my mother andmy sister are happy.
I hope my father is okay andI'm just trying to navigate our
(37:15):
home situation because it's beenweird.
It's been a weird dynamic forseveral weeks and I've
definitely intentionallywithdrawn and I'm probably just
gonna keep my distance for awhile because I'm still
navigating my own emotionaldepths and I know where I lie
with my sister and that's notchanging and so I'm not gonna
(37:37):
try to put a square peg in around hole and so I'm in that
place.
But I am feeling more confident, feeling better.
I think once we settle into ournew home for our business, like
literally, and start the newyear and some attendees start to
(38:01):
register for the retreats thatwe have launched and will launch
, you know, I feel like I canfeel more grounded.
I am feeling okay, grounded, butit's still hard, and so what
I've been doing is just doing alot of sound healing, just
playing my instruments, whetherit's with clients during their
treatments or in my room justsound healing.
(38:23):
The vibration is really helpingmy body.
Everyone gets a free soundhealing upgrade with all their
services right now because Ineed it for my own healing.
I really am trying to stay in astate of meditation when I do
my Reiki work, when I do mysomatic work, and just trying to
(38:46):
find gratitude and staying inthe energy of gratitude.
Doing this podcast tonightright now this part two has
really helped me to hear mythoughts out loud as I'm
recording this, and then what Ido is I go back and replay this
and edit it, and it's beenreally helpful for me.
(39:08):
And so I want to just say to allof you that hear this, whatever
you're going through right now.
I know it may seem overwhelmingand it might be, and it is.
I am not diminishing thatbecause what I feel is
overwhelming too, and so don'tcompare yourself to other people
(39:29):
.
Don't compare yourself thatlike, oh well, maybe I don't
have it so bad.
We always do the well.
There are starving people inthe world.
There are dying people in theworld.
There are people that are beingkicked out of their homes.
There are people this and thatI understand that the world is
awful.
It is.
It is totally awful.
Humanity can be awful, butthere is good in the world and,
(39:52):
whatever your situation is, justbe in it, even if you're just
weeks and weeks of pain andsadness and grief.
Just be in it.
But also the moments where youfeel joy and happiness and a
little bit of peace andunderstanding.
Totally be in that and don'tfeel shame and guilt for being
(40:16):
okay, for feeling a little bitmore balanced, because that's
what every day is.
It's balancing the momentswhere we feel can be
overwhelmingly hard and thenmoments where we are in
happiness and bliss and joyful.
Trying to have that balance ona daily basis is what we're
striving for.
Is it always gonna beattainable?
(40:38):
No, and we shouldn't beatourselves up for feeling the way
that we do.
I have definitely grown in thatarena this year of not beating
myself up when I feel like fuckyou all, fuck life, fuck all of
this.
I'm sick and tired of this shit.
I need help.
Where are you spirit?
I say that stuff.
I say that stuff and even inthe midst of tears and snot
(40:59):
running down my face and tryingnot to drive while emotionally
upset, I have my conversationsand it helps me and it's
cathartic and it helps torelease it physically from my
body.
So don't hold back.
Do what you need to do.
If right now you're like I can'tdo the family thing, I can't do
the Christmas thing, I can't dothe social thing.
(41:20):
It's okay, believe me, it'sokay.
You are not alone.
Do what you need to do becauseat the end of the day, you are
still walking your journey.
Life will still go on.
I hope you go on with it, youknow, and everything will move
as it should.
Just try to find it deep inyour heart to remain open.
(41:43):
That's when I keep tellingmyself keep your heart open,
keep your spirit open, pause,breathe.
Sometimes during the day I'mjust like tearing up and, like
you know, sniffing and snifflingand just like breathing,
because these thoughts come overme and it's overwhelming and
(42:03):
you know I hold it in and I'mtrying to process, and you know
when you can't talk to yourfamily and you don't want to
vent with clients.
And you know, if it were me,I'd be talking to my counselor
every day and she'd be like, ohmy God, I feel like that
sometimes.
Sometimes just having theseconversations out loud with
yourself, writing, mayberecording your voice, and
(42:24):
listening to it, can be reallyhealing as well.
Of course.
Meditation, sound healing,reiki, massage whatever you can
do to comfort yourself, comfortyour body, to be able to
emotionally express yourself.
Do that.
Food right now is a big thingfor people.
You know we are a culture thatcelebrates with food and it's a
(42:46):
slippery slope to go on afood-eating binge of sweets and
salty and greasy and fatty andjust overindulging and then
fucking hating ourselves andfeeling miserable.
So I encourage you that even ifyou go off the deep end and eat
half a cake, that's okay.
Just be mindful of if you'refeeling worse afterwards
(43:10):
emotionally it's because of thesugar and your body may not like
the way it feels.
So buy the things that nourishyou, find a balance of good food
and maybe I'm not saying that'sbad food, but maybe food that
doesn't always feel so great, ormaybe an every once in a while
food.
But find a balance and moveyour body.
Go see Christmas lights If youlive in a place that's cold,
(43:34):
touch snow and go to theChristmas things and listen to
the Christmas music and bake thecookies and bake the cake and
play the games.
Do the things right now, even ifit's just for a moment, to
bring you joy, because it willhelp.
It will help ease your mind sothat you're not just looping in
the thoughts and then the lastthing is when I upload the
(43:56):
Winter Solstice Breathworkplaylist, do breathwork, follow
the journey.
It's an hour long of music,it's powerful, and just breathe.
You can listen to my otherbreathwork journey playlist.
There's instructions there onhow to do the breathwork.
I'll do a little bit ofinstruction with this video as
(44:19):
well, audibly.
But breathe, breathe through it, clear your mind, clear your
body, shake it out, cry it out,scream it out, punch it out,
whatever you got to do, but letit go.
I'm doing that.
It's going to take me every day, probably scrubbing the walls
(44:39):
with vinegar and water andmoving my stuff.
The physical act of moving isgoing to help me to clear that
out.
So I will upload one moreepisode and it's going to be a
fun one.
It's going to be an audiorecording that I did with my
buddy, rob, who asked me to goand clear his house.
(45:01):
So it's going to be aboutclearing spaces.
So I'll do a little bit ofcommentary before I play the
whole recording.
But we did some spiritconnection and stuff.
So that'll be on the episodethat I'll upload after this and,
of course, the winter solsticeplaylist, and then I'm just
going to take a break and thenat some point in January, when
I'm much more settled, I'll comeback and do another episode,
(45:25):
and I can't guarantee it'll beweekly.
It might be biweekly, it mightbe monthly and then, once I
start traveling for retreats,it'll be when I can do it.
But I promise you I'm stillhere.
You can listen to all mymeditations.
Any playlists that I createI'll upload here for you so you
can listen and meditate to that.
(45:46):
And, as always, you are anamazing soul.
You're an amazing human.
You create the reality youdesire.
You are healing your mind, youare doing the work and you are
not walking alone.
You have support.
You have support.
You have me.
You have my contact in thepodcast.
You can reach out to me if youwant to talk, if you need some
(46:08):
guidance, if you need some help.
I'm always here to answer anyemails or any calls that I may
get.
If you like what you heardtoday and you like this podcast,
please share it with a friendthat could use this support
right now, during this season,during this time in their life
or at any time.
And until we meet again, satnam and be well.
Welcome back to the Joyful Shaman Podcast.
I'm Naomi, your host with themost, and we are back again part
two of my last episode, and soI'm just going to get right into
it, as my thoughts are readyand full, which I encourage you
(00:22):
to do before you listen to thispart.
I am going to be talking aboutsome new ventures for me, some
new aha moments, some ways thatI've been working on healing
these old mindsets, reallyletting go to the rigidity of my
thinking, and just to remindyou that, as a shaman, we are
wounded healers.
We don't hold all of theanswers of the universe and
(00:46):
we're never going to tell youwhat to do.
All we can do is just share ourexperiences with you and just
remind you that we ourselves arestill undergoing, and will
continue to go throughout ourwhole lifetime, our own healing
journey, and so we will struggle, and this is one of those times
that I am struggling, and I amputting it out there as a way
(01:06):
for me to mentally andemotionally process, but also as
a teaching moment as well.
So, okay, back to what I wantto share.
So I have made the decision toreally move forward and jump in
100% into the retreat arena.
For some reason this whole year, since attending all of these
(01:30):
retreats, I'm like I really wantto share shamanic practices,
ceremonies, teachings and justreally work with groups of
people to share medicine.
If it's not happening within mycommunity on a consistent basis
, I still, in my heart, have atrue passion and desire to teach
(01:51):
it.
So if that means I need toleave constantly to go and
create these healing containersand spaces for people to come
from all over the world andexperience these practices with
me, then so be it, damn it, I'mgonna create it.
So that is my newest venture.
That is how I am pivoting mybusiness.
(02:13):
I'm going to have a justsmaller personal practice here
in Lakeland because I feelthat's just the way that the
universe is aligning it for meand really pushing me to go out
and be all in in these retreatsand to seek and collaborate with
other retreat leaders to createpowerful and unique experiences
(02:38):
all over the world.
And so I made that decision.
I reached out to a person that Iknow that I was supposed to do
a retreat on Anna Maria Islandhere in Florida on the first
weekend of December and that hadto get canceled because the
hurricanes destroyed the beachand the house.
So naturally, of course it wasreally sad Couldn't do that and
(03:01):
she really wanted to still do anevent with me.
And she asked me and she saidwould you be interested in going
all in as a co-leader for aretreat, say in the springtime?
And I said absolutely.
And I said my one stipulationis I don't want to do it in
Florida.
The Gulf Coast has beenbrutally destroyed and is still
(03:24):
being cleaned up and it's goingto take a long time for the
beaches and those areas tobecome open again and revived
and for people to want to cometo Florida.
So I said any retreats that Ido in 2025, all out of Florida,
no ifs and or buts.
And she said I agree.
She said what do you think aboutSedona?
And I almost jumped up out ofmy seat in that moment and I was
(03:48):
like Sedona has been a longtime dream of mine.
I have never been to Sedona,but I keep seeing these red
rocks in my meditation andstanding on these red rocks and
being with groups of women there, and I was like absolutely a
thousand fucking percent, we arecreating a retreat for Sedona.
And we did the whole month ofNovember.
(04:10):
I busted my ass.
Despite my other inhibitions.
I was like I'm throwing myselfall in here.
If I was going to exert anytype of energy, it was making
the phone calls, getting theinformation, creating the
Instagram reels, getting theinformation, you know, creating
the Instagram reels, doingwhatever I needed to do to
create this dream retreat andexperience that was all
(04:32):
inclusive of like everything,and I wanted to do it during the
spring equinox.
To be in Sedona to stand onthose red rocks at the changing
of the seasons was so powerfulfor me and that is the reality
that I have created, and it'sjust an example to show you how
(04:53):
you can shift and change yourreality through the power and
intention of your mind and yourthoughts.
You know I took action.
I took intentional action,intuitive action to do this work
, and so we have launched theShamanic Spring Awakening
Retreat for March 18th throughthe 23rd of 2025 in Sedona Six
(05:17):
days, five nights, everythingall inclusive.
We rented this gorgeous homeright outside of Sedona, 20
minutes outside of Sedona, inCotwood.
It is a seven bedroom home, nobunk beds, no trundle beds, has
a private pool, hot tub, firepit, private hiking trails, in
(05:37):
between two big vortexes.
There in Sedona we have thisamazing, viral social media chef
that is going to be coming,private chef that's going to be
providing amazing plant-basedfoods, but we'll be able to
cover all dietary preferencesand restrictions and we're
(05:59):
excited about that.
Doing the sound bath,meditation, shamanic breath work
, blue lotus ceremony, cacaoceremony, embodiment dance
ceremony, drum circles I'm goingto be teaching on my soul
writing workshop, an intuitivedevelopment workshop.
I am doing so much.
I'm going to do a medicinewheel ceremony on a stupa that
(06:21):
is a very well-known place onone of the rocks that has a
medicine wheel there.
So we're going to be doing aflower ceremony, kind of Mayfair
ceremony, on the spring equinox.
We're even renting, we're doinga Jeep private vortex tour
where we'll be led on theseprivate hikes right in the heart
(06:41):
of these vortexes and drivingoff-roading with jeeps.
I think that's so fun and we'llhave plenty of time to go into
Sedona to shop and eat andexplore and do all the fun
things too, plustransportation's included and
it's just a magical dream cometrue trip.
And the last thing about theretreat is my friend, ga-li Du,
(07:03):
who is the photographer that Imet that did all of our
photography and videographyempowerment shoot in Tulum,
which I absolutely love mypictures that she did there.
He's going to be coming anddoing all of the videography,
photography and, as a wonderfulgift to all of the attendees,
which will just be for women,this retreat is an empowerment
(07:23):
shoot on the Red Rocks in Sedona, and I'm just so grateful for
this because I'm like, wow,first retreat, go big or go home
, right.
So I was like I'm going to goall in, I'm going to do it.
So we've launched it.
It's active.
You know, we're actively bothof us promoting it.
We have faith.
(07:44):
I have faith that the Brightattendees we're looking for, I
believe, 12 women to come andjoin us and it's going to be a
powerful, transformationalexperience.
And so I'm jumping into theworld of retreats, so much so
that I have just been activelyconnecting on social media with
other collaborators, justletting it happen organically of
(08:07):
like, hey, I'm looking tocollaborate, I'm looking to
co-lead and just connecting withpeople.
I planned that retreat.
I am going back to Santa Fe inApril because I fucking love
that city and I'm gonna create aretreat in Santa Fe.
I created a creative expressionretreat.
So this is like Girls Get Awaymeets Bohemian Wild Woman, free
(08:29):
Spirit, and it's called Echoesof Self.
I'm partnered with a musicianthat's based out in Portland and
we are going to be doing asacral chakra healing retreat
where we are learning a varietyof different creative
expressions.
So we're going to be doingsongwriting and singing, goddess
(08:50):
, yoga, embodiment, dance, soundbaths every day, yoga every day
.
We're even going to a localpaint or art studio in Santa Fe
to do a shamanic, guided spiritanimal painting that you get to
take home.
You know, it's just going to bethis beautiful five-day,
four-night, all girls or allwomen retreat in the gorgeous
(09:15):
Hotel Santa Fe.
You know, and I'm just soexcited to like, take people on
a place of like this is one ofmy favorite new cities, okay,
and there's really magical landand it's very healing land and I
want to take the right peoplethat can embrace it and just
push themselves out of theircomfort zones and just explore
(09:36):
and get inspired and find thatspark.
Whether you're a business owneror just a divine being or just
you know someone that Ipersonally know like, come hang
out with me.
This is the ultimate girl'strip, so that's happening in
April.
Another manifestation, thirdretreat that I'm about to launch
in the new year is Olympia,washington, the beginning of
(09:56):
June.
This is gonna be calledVibrations of you.
This is a deep shamanic healingand Reiki retreat.
This is open for all people,men and women and fluid people,
however you identify and this isgoing to be in the heart of
Olympia, in the beautifulretreat house on Eld Inlet, so
right on the water.
(10:17):
You can see Mount Rainier.
It's going to be five days,four nights.
Powerful yet gentle connectionto nature.
So a lot of nature hikes, doingharmony ceremony along the
beaches there, just reallyconnecting to yourself and
understanding who you are.
It's a journey ofself-discovery and myself and my
(10:39):
co-host will be doing a lot ofone-on-one energy healing that
will be included.
Same thing powerful chef theregorgeous retreat house called
Ebb and Flow.
So it's just going to be thisbeautiful experience.
And then I'm working on someother things for the summer and
I'm going to keep finding peoplebecause I'm going to travel
from March through October ofnext year.
(11:00):
I have already determined thatI have put that out into the
universe and so I'm just tryingto get my brain to stop fucking
up and tell me and make me feelscared or make me feel like what
the fuck am I doing?
And doubting and just empowermyself.
So that's what I'm doing I'mstepping into retreats.
(11:21):
I'm making that my mainbusiness next year and then
continuing to balance my clientswhile I'm here in Lakeland, but
looking forward to sharing trueshamanic work, true shamanic
experiences in these amazingspaces Next year.
For right now I'm just going tobe in the US 2026.
I am going overseas and the US.
(11:43):
You know, I am being really,really open and proud of myself
and like really tapping intothat Capricorn business side of
me of like creating thelogistics and calling and
creating the marketing plans andthe financial budgets and all
of this and like I'm thriving.
I'm like tapping into thatformer corporate self who could
create a spa retreat and get 150people into her spa in three
(12:08):
days and boom, boom, boom.
That's still ingrained in me.
I was like, oh, I got back onthat bike.
I like that about me.
But it's also exasperated mysleep stuff because it's been
good but it's also been superstressful for my brain.
So I am just taking a lot ofrest right now.
But some lessons that I amlearning.
(12:29):
That's coming up for me is I amstill really combative against
certain parts of transformation.
That's really holding me back,I think, from having more
success or maybe faster successwithin myself.
And then I had to redefine whatdoes success mean for me?
I'm not trying to focus so muchon the material possessions or
(12:51):
things that I would like.
I just want some fuckingfinancial stability, and I think
all of us right now, especiallyduring the times in our country
, are like I wanna be able topay my bills.
I wanna be able to have moneyin my bank account to eat.
I wanna be able to put gas inmy car.
I'm grateful that my parentslet me drive their car, because
I don't have a car.
I'm grateful that my parentslet me live in their house,
because I'd be fucking homeless.
So there are things that I'mtrying to find gratitude for,
(13:15):
despite me feeling some kind ofway.
So I've been doing some deephealing of letting go of some
shit.
Well, during this time healingof letting go of some shit Well,
during this time, I just reallyneeded to try to make a path of
healing with my mother, and soI spoke to my mom.
You know we cleared the airabout some things and, yes, I
(13:36):
still have my boundaries and,because I'm on the HRT, some
days are better than others.
I know when I wake up and I'min a crab ass mood and I'm like,
oh, everybody's just fuckingstay away from me.
I just say it because I'm likenot in the mood.
Don't talk to me, like justleave me alone.
You know, and I've beenspending most of my days just in
my room, outside of work, justworking on things and just
(13:59):
trying to sleep while I can,honestly, because my brain and
my circadian rhythm are really,really off right now in a bad
way.
It's so much so that I'mstarting to have some nighttime
panic attacks, which isn't great.
So I'm mindful of her and justrespecting distance.
But I'm talking to my mother,which has been really good.
(14:22):
I talk to my dad.
I'm not open to talk to mysister right now.
I think there's a lot of anger,I think there's a lot of
resentment, I think there's somecommunication issues there and
I have to remember that mysister is quite emotionally
immature and that is myperspective and is not willing
to be open to spirituality orconversations about spirituality
(14:45):
or deeper conversationsemotionally, and so it's a very
superficial escapismconversations and I'm not really
about that.
I'm a depth person.
That's just who I am, and soI've just been keeping my
distance because my sisterreally likes the holiday season
and I'm very indifferent to itand you know I don't want to
(15:07):
upset her and I also don't.
I'm having a hard timecontrolling my emotions myself,
so I don't want to be triggeredby something she says or
something that she does and it'snot really her fault.
It's just woundings that I'mhealing right now and not be
able to control my reaction.
I want to be able to respond,but right now I'm learning to
just have better control, so Iam getting better.
(15:32):
You know work had picked up alittle bit.
You know it could be better,but you know I'm trusting that
this move into this house, thisnew business location, is going
to be for my highest andgreatest good.
I've been doing tarot readingslike every night, being like how
can I shift things?
And tarot is so crystal clear.
(15:53):
They're like bitch.
You need to get past your past.
You need to let go of yourrigid thinking.
You need to let go of yourfears of failure and you need to
let go of the self-doubting.
You need to build yourself-confidence back up.
Build up your self-esteem.
Don't be so isolated.
You know, seek connections,seek help.
(16:15):
Talk to your counselor.
So Tara has been crystal clearof like you can do it.
It's going to be a challengingroad.
I think that the house is alearning lesson for Cassie, for
her and her own ways that she'sgoing to experience.
And I think the house for me islike are you going to
self-sabotage and go intonegative coping mechanisms and
go into this new year with fearand then everything,
(16:38):
vibrationally, that energy thatyou're feeding into fear, is
going to lead you to struggleand have to resort to
overworking or doing things thatyou don't want to do, that are
not in alignment, just to makeends meet.
No, I don't want to do that.
So tonight, on this wintersolstice, you know, I am really
(16:59):
actively asking spirit to helpme, to really help my heart to
let go, to help my mind rewireits fucking self, to really let
shit go like a lot.
And I think it's just harderfor me because I always find
myself in the last couple ofyears, in this cycle around the
(17:19):
holidays of just strugglingfinancially, of just wondering
is this how it's always going tobe?
Is this the way my life is?
Is it all my fault?
I've been thinking that a lot.
Is this all my fault?
Did I cause a lot of this?
I recognize that some of myspending habits and behaviors
can be quite impulsive,especially when I'm feeling
(17:40):
stressed out or upset and Iwanna make myself feel better.
I know I'm not the only onethat does that.
We all do things that bring uscomfort in the moment and then
we're right back where we wereDopamine hit and then we fall,
and it's been hard for me to domy meditations.
December, cassie and I did ourgroup sound bath meditation and
(18:00):
that was really beautiful.
It was a really serene moment.
Yesterday, I did my first groupbreathwork journey for winter
solstice and 10 people came.
I've only done breathworkone-on-one for my somatic Reiki
that I've talked about on herefor the last three years, and I
felt the calling to do it and 10people came and it was profound
(18:25):
.
By the way, I am going to dropthe playlist for the Winter
Solstice Breathwork Journey onhere.
It's been an extremelydownloaded episode on YouTube
and the podcast.
So, wow, I will put up thatplaylist so you can continue
your breathwork along the winterseason.
But it was really powerful towitness that and, even though I
(18:47):
wasn't breathing, I was doingextraction, I was helping people
rebirth, I was helping peopleremove and release.
It was a lot of energyexpenditure for me too, and so I
had to do a lot of clearing.
And so today I went thismorning, early this morning,
(19:08):
with a buddy and a client ofmine to our new location, to
this historic home that I talkedabout in the last episode,
because I needed to help myfriend move some old furniture
out of there.
And you know, put eyes on theplace before Cassie and I start
moving our table and setting upour equipment and stuff and I
(19:30):
freaked out again.
I like quietly freaked out, andanother buddy came and met me
there and he's a massagetherapist and was like are you
okay?
And I'm like, low key, no, I amnot okay.
And he's like what's going on?
And I'm like the conferenceroom is a little smaller than
(19:50):
what I thought it was.
It's not as wide.
I thought we would be able toput our table in there and have
space for our sound bathmeditation.
The front entry area Originallythere is a huge built-in 1980s
laminate desk that's attached tothe wall that the owner of the
home, an older woman, didn'twant to be removed.
(20:11):
But I'm like this is limitingme.
I can't do my meditations, Ican't do my gatherings here.
I want to continue to do breathwork.
I even wanted to do mooncircles and do cacao ceremony
and do blue lotus tea ceremoniesthere.
I wanted to do more things withmy community in this magical
house.
I keep telling people I am in mypractical magic era with this
(20:32):
house.
It's what it looks like itliterally does, and I was really
disappointed and I'm likepanicking.
Cassie right now is in Savannahfor the weekend with her
husband and her kids for asurprise little getaway that her
husband did right before theholidays and that's awesome.
And I'm like, oh my God, I needto talk to my business partner
because my brain ismalfunctioning right now and if
(20:54):
I don't get it out, I'm going todwell on this all day long.
Not as severely as if I wasn'ton my progesterone and my
calming supplements, but it wasjust like I want to talk to her.
I'm not sure if we're makingthe right decision.
So I talked to my buddy aboutit.
It was really nice to hear meout and he's like, dude, if it's
(21:15):
not a fuck, yeah, like you areall in on it.
He's like you got to talk toher and he's like the sooner the
better, because you broughtyour money to your landlord and
I was like I know, and so I, youknow, made some calls today.
I actually spoke to the son ofthe owner of the house and I was
just like, hey, man, I reallyneed to move this desk out of
(21:39):
there.
I have somebody that can safelyremove it from the wall.
I have a storage unit that Ican store it in for the
remainder of the lease orhowever long I'm there in the
house, and I will bring it backwhen the time comes and we'll
put it back in the house when weleave.
And he's like that's fine.
And I was like what?
And he's like my mother, whoowns the home, had a nasty fall
(22:02):
and is in the hospital.
She shattered her pelvis and Iwas like, oh my God, that's
awful.
And she's like she has to go toa rehab center.
So I am going to be your pointof contact for the house.
Here is my number Call me ifyou need anything, anything that
you need, I'm there to help you.
And I was like, okay, thismakes me feel better now that
we're going to move the desk out, because now that opens up
(22:24):
space in the front entry area,now we do have to share the
house with a few other people,so there is an office on the
front side of the house thatbelongs to a mutual friend of
Cassie and I, dr AngelaBoatwright, who is a doctor of
oriental medicine and anacupuncture physician.
So she's been in there sinceJuly.
(22:45):
We got her in the house when heroffice had to suddenly close
after nine years that she wasworking in, and so it was our
intention to move in the summer,but it didn't quite work out
timing for us.
And then my friend who had herlaw practice there, was working
with two other attorneys thatshe contracted to help her out
with her cases.
(23:05):
Well, they retained theiroffices upstairs.
So they have offices elsewhere,but they have offices up there.
So the agreement was to allowus to move into their conference
room.
The part where that ugly deskis that's going had to be
converted into a conference areabecause they still meet with
(23:27):
clients in person from time totime and want to be able to do
that downstairs.
Not a problem, it's away fromour room.
It, you know, totally cool withus and we were just grateful.
So I'm feeling better that thedesk is now going to be moved.
But the house is old.
It's almost 120 years old and,man, it smells like an old house
(23:52):
, not like a great library smellwith the books.
No, it smells musty and I'm notgoing to lie, and I know the
paint is old.
The carpet, thank goodness, islike that commercial carpet.
That's low, but it probablyhasn't been professionally deep
cleaned in a long time and it'sa lot of dust and the drapes are
(24:12):
old and dusty and I had to takethat shit down.
And so I'm like, oh fuck, thisis a lot of work that we're
going to have to do to move inin the next week and a half,
christmas and New Year's.
I was like great, because wehave clients at the beginning of
the month At least I do and soI'm like all right, you know,
(24:32):
cassie, when she comes back shegonna have to put in some elbow
grease with me and we're gonnahave to scrub these walls with
vinegar and water.
And I need to have my buddyremove the desk and we got to
move it into our storage unit.
So I got to clean that outtomorrow to create space.
I had to call Stanley Steamerto come in and deep clean the
front entry area in our room.
I can't, you know, I'm notcleaning the rest of the house.
(24:54):
That's their responsibility.
And we've got to deep clean ourwalls because it smells in not
a great way and I don't want towelcome our clients into this
magical home that they're likeoh my gosh, we're excited for
you.
And it smells like death alittle bit in there.
So I have my work cut out and soI did talk to Cassie.
(25:16):
She said she was cool with metalking to her as her husband
was driving to Savannah today,and I didn't try to be negative,
nancy, but I was like, hey, man, you know, we're going to have
to go to a locksmith.
The lady put a special lock onthe door.
That's high security and onlythis one person in town makes
the keys and they're like 50 to100 bucks a key.
(25:37):
And I was like, damn, thissucks, you know.
And I was like, all right, itis what it is, and we only have
one.
And so she's going to like atfirst like we're not going to be
able to move the desk andthere's not really a lot of
space for sound baths, so we mayhave to ask our chiropractic
doctor if we can still dogatherings there.
(25:57):
And she was like, and I waslike dude, you just have to see
the space when you come back onMonday we need to go together so
that before we make any othermoves in this house, we agree
and I'm going to write asubcontract lease, you know,
with my friend so that ifanything happens she's protected
(26:19):
and I'm protected because Itechnically signed the lease to
sublease and then Cassiesubleasing from me, so it's
sublease, sublease, subleasing.
It goes down the line.
So I'm feeling better about thehouse.
It's just a lot of physicalwork over a short amount of time
and every single time that I'vemoved my business, I've always
(26:40):
had to do it alone and I don'twant to do that again and I
refuse to do it.
So even if it takes us theentire month of January to move,
I will not be doing it alone.
Cassie will be helping me.
We are going in 50-50.
We are splitting the cost 50-50.
We are gonna do what it takesto get in there and make it be a
(27:02):
special space.
So I'm feeling more groundedabout that and I do feel like
being in the house is going tobe challenging.
I am going to have to makegreater effort.
2024 was my year of rest.
Why?
Because it was a year nine ofnumerology for me, of, like my
foundation, my life, tired,fucking crumbling and it's still
crumbling, so I know that'scontinuing into 2025.
(27:23):
So I do want to make moreeffort because all I've done is
worked my ass off for 17 years.
I've been working nonstop sinceI was 17 and I'm 37 and a half
now, so over 20 years and so Iwas like you know what?
I'm going to take a fuckingbreak.
I don't have to work so hard.
I'm not paying rent, blah, blah, blah.
Like money was still good, butI was so miserable doing fucking
(27:44):
massage Like I just wanted itto end and my body hurt all of
this and I just wanted to focuson myself.
So now I'm like I understand Ineed to make equal efforts on my
retreat stuff and within mylocal community while I'm still
here.
You know more than justfinancial.
It's just part of my path.
I need to be giving equallyfrom my heart to people and
(28:07):
doing it from the bottom of myheart.
And if I'm not happy doingsomething, I need to pause and
reflect and introspect, and if Ijust don't like it, I just need
to stop.
So I've been working a lotthrough these triggers and it's
been a journey.
Mercury retrograde sucked ass.
(28:28):
It felt like another eclipseseason for me.
Mercury retrograde, marsretrograde, like it was so hard
to get communications out,emails out, especially talking
and planning all these retreatson another time zone.
I was working with MountainTime and Pacific Time and then
just like doing a whole bunch ofother work and just, I think my
(28:49):
biggest thing overall thismonth is I have felt like I
really overwork and overcommitto things and spread myself out
too thin and I'm still afraid tolet people know like, even
though I can do it and you can't, I don't really want to do it,
you know, and if I have themoney, I'd rather hire somebody
(29:10):
to help me do it than try to doit all myself to save a buck.
But if I don't have the moneyto do it, then I just need to
really manage my time and do alot of self-care and work in
spurts and then sleep and thenwork in spurts and sleep.
So it's been a journey.
It's been a journey and I, likeeveryone else, am ready for
(29:33):
fucking 2024 to end.
But I wanted to end in a placeof empowerment and strength and
hope and surrendering, and Ifeel like I will get there.
Christmas isn't a big thing forme, you know.
I just always try to be ingratitude.
I'm not a person that givesgifts.
I don't really like to receivegifts.
(29:55):
You know I like seeing thetrees and trying not to eat all
the damn cookies all the time.
You know I'm trying to maintainmy diet that I've been doing
pretty good on and just keep mybody moving and just remembering
to find joy, and I'm trying mybest not to escape.
I don't doom scroll, but I tendto spend a lot of time on
(30:18):
social media looking atspiritual content and seeing my
clients happy and seeing theirposts about Christmas lights and
their family traditions andstuff, because my family doesn't
have any and I think that'sanother reason why I've been
feeling really sad is I justfeel really isolated right now,
like I have Cassie and I have mycommunity and you know I
(30:39):
connect with people on socialmedia.
But to live in a home wherenobody talks to anybody, there's
no special traditions, it'sloud, it's argumentative, it
just exacerbates the feelings ofdepression and so I'm trying to
keep my head above water andjust really launching myself out
(31:00):
of that depression pool as muchas possible.
Well, today my mother and mysister went and got a new family
dog and our only family dogthat we have ever had, my only
dog I've ever had growing up.
That died almost eight yearsago.
She was the love of my life.
(31:21):
She was a beautiful CavalierKing Charles Spaniel.
She was a sassy girl.
She did whatever she wanted.
She was stubborn, she prettymuch had my energy and my
personality and in fact I wasthe only one that she liked to
sleep with at night and it wasthe only bed that she never peed
and pooped in.
She respected me and I alsodidn't tease her and I gave her
(31:42):
healthy treats and I massagedher and petted her all the time
and talked to her gently and Ithink she just really liked my
energy.
That dog is just always in myheart.
I talk to her all the time, youknow, out loud.
I tell her that I miss her andI've been really missing her a
lot because I have on my laptopas my screensaver a picture of
me at 20 years old holding heras a puppy, you know, with our
(32:09):
like at Christmas, in front ofour tree, and I was so sick, I
had a huge cold and my face waspuffy, but it was like my
Christmas photo that I put intogreeting cards and sent out to
people was her and I and I seethat picture all the time and
I'm just like I miss you, babygirl, so much.
Well, my mother's been wanting adog and, yeah, my sister's been
wanting a dog and we all beenwanting a dog for many years.
(32:30):
But with my dad's dementiaprogressing and my dad has this
habit long before he hadcognitive impairment of leaving
the doors open to our house allthe time without fear of
burglary or crime or anything,or crime or anything, it's
(32:51):
become an issue when we had ourother dog where she would get
out to the garage or run aroundthe house and then we're trying
to chase her because she likedto chase cars and we were scared
that she was going to get hit,and so we just were like, well,
we're just never going to beable to have a dog while dad's
still here on the earth becausewe can't trust my dad with doors
.
But my mom, for many years, hasjust been really really diving
into this deep cycle ofdepression and just giving up on
(33:12):
life and not really caring forher mental health, not really
caring for her physical healthat all, and just really becoming
angry and bitter and sad.
And it's sad for me to see mymother be like that, because she
doesn't have to be like that,but it's a choice and she just
has been dreaming and desiringto have a dog because it gives
her something to do and shereally wants to take care of it
(33:35):
and that's like her wholeexistence.
And so she got my dad to agreerepeatedly this year by saying
you promised me that we can geta dog, you promised me that we
can get a dog.
She told me that she evendrafted up something that she
made my father sign so that ifthey got a dog he couldn't
renege on it and that she wouldbring it up and show him when he
(33:58):
no longer remembered that.
She would show him the paper.
And I was like, damn, that'ssome crazy shit.
But I have no place to sayanything because this is their
house, this is their life.
I'm moving on and I'm not apart of that.
Now, if we are going to have afamily dog, I would prefer to
(34:19):
have the same breed as before,because she was just like a
cuddle bug and so soft andsquishy and I loved her.
But you know it's not my choice.
So my mother and my sister wentto a rescue and adopted, I
believe, what looks like a JackRussell Terrier dog.
Jack Russell Terrier dog mygrandfather, when he passed away
(34:41):
over 12 years ago he had alittle rat terrier that we took
and that became like my sister'ssoul dog, our family dog my
sister chose as well at 18.
But when we inherited mygrandfather's dog that my sister
really bonded to that dog andso I think my sister has really
been missing those terrier typeof dogs.
(35:03):
And so they found this JackRussell I don't know where I'm
not part of any of that and Idon't want to be and they went
and got the dog and today, inthe midst of like my frustration
and freaking out and thentaking like a seven hour nap to
calm down, I could hear you knowlittle tapping of feet on the
(35:27):
tile floors and thinking, my God, what kind of dog did they get?
What does this dog look like?
Is my dad going to be okay?
Am I going to be okay?
I'm going to be okay.
And after those naps, when youwake up and you're like, what is
reality?
Am I on even earth?
I step out of my room.
The lights are on in the livingroom.
(35:49):
My mother has to have thesespecial lights installed in the
house that look like floodlights.
I'm not even playing becauseshe's visually impaired, so it's
like super bright and I've beensleeping in darkness with an
eye mask and I open up, mysister is sitting on her
recliner chair and there's thisdog with a cone around its neck,
like looking at me like I don'tknow you, I haven't seen you,
(36:09):
and I'm locking eyes and Iprobably don't have the best
face because I'm just like whatis in front of me and so I'm
just not in the energy ofwelcoming a dog and I don't want
to be around an animal that'sjust been brought to a new
location and just kind offiguring out what is this place.
So I've just been kind ofstaying in my room but I hope to
(36:33):
be more open to the dog.
But I think I just have apreference of wanting my own dog
at a later time in my life whenI'm more settled and maybe not
traveling and have maybe apartner, you know, when I'm much
older.
So that is going to be adifferent energy in the house.
(36:54):
I hear a lot of baby talk rightnow, a lot of squealing, a lot
of loudness and sound.
I'm very sensitive to sound.
Squealing, a lot of loudnessand sound.
I'm very sensitive to sound.
So I'm just really trying to bepatient right now and trying to
find the joy that my mother andmy sister are happy.
I hope my father is okay andI'm just trying to navigate our
(37:15):
home situation because it's beenweird.
It's been a weird dynamic forseveral weeks and I've
definitely intentionallywithdrawn and I'm probably just
gonna keep my distance for awhile because I'm still
navigating my own emotionaldepths and I know where I lie
with my sister and that's notchanging and so I'm not gonna
(37:37):
try to put a square peg in around hole and so I'm in that
place.
But I am feeling more confident, feeling better.
I think once we settle into ournew home for our business, like
literally, and start the newyear and some attendees start to
(38:01):
register for the retreats thatwe have launched and will launch
, you know, I feel like I canfeel more grounded.
I am feeling okay, grounded, butit's still hard, and so what
I've been doing is just doing alot of sound healing, just
playing my instruments, whetherit's with clients during their
treatments or in my room justsound healing.
(38:23):
The vibration is really helpingmy body.
Everyone gets a free soundhealing upgrade with all their
services right now because Ineed it for my own healing.
I really am trying to stay in astate of meditation when I do
my Reiki work, when I do mysomatic work, and just trying to
(38:46):
find gratitude and staying inthe energy of gratitude.
Doing this podcast tonightright now this part two has
really helped me to hear mythoughts out loud as I'm
recording this, and then what Ido is I go back and replay this
and edit it, and it's beenreally helpful for me.
(39:08):
And so I want to just say to allof you that hear this, whatever
you're going through right now.
I know it may seem overwhelmingand it might be, and it is.
I am not diminishing thatbecause what I feel is
overwhelming too, and so don'tcompare yourself to other people
(39:29):
.
Don't compare yourself thatlike, oh well, maybe I don't
have it so bad.
We always do the well.
There are starving people inthe world.
There are dying people in theworld.
There are people that are beingkicked out of their homes.
There are people this and thatI understand that the world is
awful.
It is.
It is totally awful.
Humanity can be awful, butthere is good in the world and,
(39:52):
whatever your situation is, justbe in it, even if you're just
weeks and weeks of pain andsadness and grief.
Just be in it.
But also the moments where youfeel joy and happiness and a
little bit of peace andunderstanding.
Totally be in that and don'tfeel shame and guilt for being
(40:16):
okay, for feeling a little bitmore balanced, because that's
what every day is.
It's balancing the momentswhere we feel can be
overwhelmingly hard and thenmoments where we are in
happiness and bliss and joyful.
Trying to have that balance ona daily basis is what we're
striving for.
Is it always gonna beattainable?
(40:38):
No, and we shouldn't beatourselves up for feeling the way
that we do.
I have definitely grown in thatarena this year of not beating
myself up when I feel like fuckyou all, fuck life, fuck all of
this.
I'm sick and tired of this shit.
I need help.
Where are you spirit?
I say that stuff.
I say that stuff and even inthe midst of tears and snot
(40:59):
running down my face and tryingnot to drive while emotionally
upset, I have my conversationsand it helps me and it's
cathartic and it helps torelease it physically from my
body.
So don't hold back.
Do what you need to do.
If right now you're like I can'tdo the family thing, I can't do
the Christmas thing, I can't dothe social thing.
(41:20):
It's okay, believe me, it'sokay.
You are not alone.
Do what you need to do becauseat the end of the day, you are
still walking your journey.
Life will still go on.
I hope you go on with it, youknow, and everything will move
as it should.
Just try to find it deep inyour heart to remain open.
(41:43):
That's when I keep tellingmyself keep your heart open,
keep your spirit open, pause,breathe.
Sometimes during the day I'mjust like tearing up and, like
you know, sniffing and snifflingand just like breathing,
because these thoughts come overme and it's overwhelming and
(42:03):
you know I hold it in and I'mtrying to process, and you know
when you can't talk to yourfamily and you don't want to
vent with clients.
And you know, if it were me,I'd be talking to my counselor
every day and she'd be like, ohmy God, I feel like that
sometimes.
Sometimes just having theseconversations out loud with
yourself, writing, mayberecording your voice, and
(42:24):
listening to it, can be reallyhealing as well.
Of course.
Meditation, sound healing,reiki, massage whatever you can
do to comfort yourself, comfortyour body, to be able to
emotionally express yourself.
Do that.
Food right now is a big thingfor people.
You know we are a culture thatcelebrates with food and it's a
(42:46):
slippery slope to go on afood-eating binge of sweets and
salty and greasy and fatty andjust overindulging and then
fucking hating ourselves andfeeling miserable.
So I encourage you that even ifyou go off the deep end and eat
half a cake, that's okay.
Just be mindful of if you'refeeling worse afterwards
(43:10):
emotionally it's because of thesugar and your body may not like
the way it feels.
So buy the things that nourishyou, find a balance of good food
and maybe I'm not saying that'sbad food, but maybe food that
doesn't always feel so great, ormaybe an every once in a while
food.
But find a balance and moveyour body.
Go see Christmas lights If youlive in a place that's cold,
(43:34):
touch snow and go to theChristmas things and listen to
the Christmas music and bake thecookies and bake the cake and
play the games.
Do the things right now, even ifit's just for a moment, to
bring you joy, because it willhelp.
It will help ease your mind sothat you're not just looping in
the thoughts and then the lastthing is when I upload the
(43:56):
Winter Solstice Breathworkplaylist, do breathwork, follow
the journey.
It's an hour long of music,it's powerful, and just breathe.
You can listen to my otherbreathwork journey playlist.
There's instructions there onhow to do the breathwork.
I'll do a little bit ofinstruction with this video as
(44:19):
well, audibly.
But breathe, breathe through it, clear your mind, clear your
body, shake it out, cry it out,scream it out, punch it out,
whatever you got to do, but letit go.
I'm doing that.
It's going to take me every day, probably scrubbing the walls
(44:39):
with vinegar and water andmoving my stuff.
The physical act of moving isgoing to help me to clear that
out.
So I will upload one moreepisode and it's going to be a
fun one.
It's going to be an audiorecording that I did with my
buddy, rob, who asked me to goand clear his house.
(45:01):
So it's going to be aboutclearing spaces.
So I'll do a little bit ofcommentary before I play the
whole recording.
But we did some spiritconnection and stuff.
So that'll be on the episodethat I'll upload after this and,
of course, the winter solsticeplaylist, and then I'm just
going to take a break and thenat some point in January, when
I'm much more settled, I'll comeback and do another episode,
(45:25):
and I can't guarantee it'll beweekly.
It might be biweekly, it mightbe monthly and then, once I
start traveling for retreats,it'll be when I can do it.
But I promise you I'm stillhere.
You can listen to all mymeditations.
Any playlists that I createI'll upload here for you so you
can listen and meditate to that.
(45:46):
And, as always, you are anamazing soul.
You're an amazing human.
You create the reality youdesire.
You are healing your mind, youare doing the work and you are
not walking alone.
You have support.
You have support.
You have me.
You have my contact in thepodcast.
You can reach out to me if youwant to talk, if you need some
(46:08):
guidance, if you need some help.
I'm always here to answer anyemails or any calls that I may
get.
If you like what you heardtoday and you like this podcast,
please share it with a friendthat could use this support
right now, during this season,during this time in their life
or at any time.
And until we meet again, satnam and be well.
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