May 2, 2025 • 30 mins
From the heart of an indigenous Mexican village accessible only by boat, I'm sharing my raw, unfiltered experience facilitating shamanic healing ceremonies at the Journey Back to You retreat in Yelapa. What began as an exciting opportunity quickly became a profound test of my own medicine when I found myself facing unexpected physical limitations—130 uneven stone steps that my damaged knee protested with each climb—and primal fears in my open-air jungle room where spiders, geckos, and the unknown lurked beyond my mosquito netting.
Throughout the week, I guided participants through chakra healing, shamanic breathwork, and ocean cord-cutting ceremonies while simultaneously navigating my own journey of surrender. The universe delivered humbling lessons when I fell into the Pacific Ocean—twice!—during boat transfers, reminding me that sometimes laughter is the best medicine when ego takes a hit. The most profound healing came unexpectedly through a gifted Watsu water massage, where a local healer intuitively connected my knee pain to unresolved forgiveness issues with my grandmother and maternal lineage, triggering deep emotional release.
Participating in the Temazcal (Toltec sweat lodge) as a medicine woman in the inner circle reinforced what I've always known about healing—it happens at the edge of comfort, where surrender becomes necessary. As I prepare to lead final ceremonies focusing on throat and third-eye chakras, I'm filled with gratitude for this sacred space where women from different backgrounds came together to do the difficult, beautiful work of spiritual growth and self-discovery.
The medicine has been everywhere—in the challenging terrain, the beautiful connections formed, and the moments of vulnerability that reminded me that even shamans need healing. If you're feeling called to step into your own transformative journey but fear what might be revealed, remember that wholeness often begins where comfort ends. The path to our most authentic selves rarely follows even steps, but the view from each new elevation makes every difficult climb worthwhile.
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Naomi@joyfulshaman.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to another episode of the Joyful
Shaman.
I am Naomi, your host with themost, and I am back.
I'm actually live recordingthis episode from Yalapa, mexico
.
I am currently finishing upfacilitating Journey Back to you
(00:22):
, a retreat that is run andhosted by my friend, jenny
Carmel, a phenomenal chef, whograciously asked me to come and
lead a lot of the healingceremonies and bring in the
shamanic element to this retreat, and it has been unreal.
(00:45):
So I'm going to just kind ofgive you the lay down of things
that have been happening, myinsights, the shit I fucked up,
the shit I was having to dealwith internally and some crazy
things that have happened, butin all fairness, crazy things
(01:06):
that have happened, but in allfairness, I'm just really
grateful for the opportunity.
So let's get into it, okay.
So I actually flew into SanDiego, california, last Friday
and I had not been to San Diegoonly in connection to the
airport, in relation to goingdown to Tijuana many years ago
(01:29):
to take my mom and my sister forsome medical treatments.
So this was my first time ofactually going to see some
things, and actually I spenttime in La Jolla, where Jenny
lives, and I spent the nightthere and I was able to go to La
Jolla Cove and I could see theseals, but I didn't get close.
(01:50):
Um had some amazing sushi, umstayed um and just rested, you
know, because I had to cross theborder at Tijuana, uh to catch
a flight from Tijuana to PuertoVallarta.
So I did the CBX bordercrossing.
I had to like go and printdocuments and stuff from a local
(02:13):
FedEx, that Grace.
I was so grateful that it wasright around the corner from
Jenny's house, but that was sucha smooth and easy transition of
being dropped off.
It's almost like a terminal.
And a gentleman helped me to getmy bags checked in, print my
boarding pass, go through 10,000securities.
(02:37):
A girl made me open up mytravel backpack because I have
like a big, hard case Samsonite,because I had to bring so many
things for ceremony andliterally brought over 200
crystals with me for all thechakra ceremonies and plus my
instruments, plus the blanket,plus the projector, plus my
(02:59):
tools, so many things.
So my shit was heavy and it waswell over 60 pounds, that
suitcase plus my travel backpack, which was like 30 pounds
strapped to my back, so I had toput my tongue drum in there.
And a young lady in the Tijuanaairport at security, was like
(03:21):
what is this?
And I was like, well, it's aform of steel drum, it's a
musical instrument.
There's a giant hole in it.
No, there's no drugs, um, but Iwas able to board just fine,
got to Puerto Vallarta, met upwith a couple of the other
ladies that, um, you know, oneof them is my friend and client
that came to this retreat.
(03:42):
And then actually I had met inSan Diego, um, a penthouse, uh,
called Vallarta Shores.
(04:02):
We were actually in the gayzone and it was bear week in
Puerto Vallarta.
So Lady Gaga everywhere, whichI love, and, yes, honey, yes,
queen dance, girl dance.
And let me tell you, these menthat were there were very
handsome men of all ages, um,and they were, there was drag,
(04:24):
there was all of it, and I lovedit, I felt safe.
But anyways, we were in thisamazing penthouse that was
graciously and kindly rented byJenny for us to stay, so that we
could all meet up as a group,because we had to take a water
taxi to Yalapa, as it's onlyaccessible by boat.
It's not an island, it's like alittle indigenous village
(04:48):
that's owned by the indigenouspeople and you can only access
it by a water taxi and it takesabout an hour from Puerto
Vallarta, Maine, to get toYalapa.
So we enjoyed the penthouse.
I had this big beautiful bed.
We had fresh margaritas when wearrived, fresh guac you can
never have too much guacamoleand then we had a beautiful
(05:12):
dinner at the very famous LapaLapa restaurant and let me tell
you that was the bestmotherfucking meal I have had in
a long time, literally on thebeach.
It was pure heaven.
I would totally go back toPuerto Vallarta and explore more
.
Absolutely loved it, did someshopping the next morning before
(05:34):
we caught our taxi and I boughta whole bunch of cool shit and
then, yeah, you know, we grabbeda little taxi.
We all met up.
We met most of the group thenight before at our meet and
greet dinner at Lapa Lapa, butthen we walked on the little
mini pier and we got on thisboat where all of our luggage
(05:55):
that they carried into the boatmade it.
And, um, yeah, we had this bigbouncy boat ride and it was very
meditative for me.
I really enjoyed being on theboat on the water on the Pacific
it.
It was like just super calmingfor me.
So we get to Yelapa and we getoff on the little pier there.
(06:15):
I did not fall on my ass thistime on this boat, thank God.
But in Yelapa roads are notallowed.
Like, paths are there and youcan ride, like by mule, atv,
motorbikes, bicycles or walking.
So we had a little tour fromwhere we were dropped off at the
(06:38):
pier to the Pura Vida WellnessRetreat Center and let me tell
you I am not the best at walkingon like very rocky terrain,
uneven terrain.
I was not wearing theappropriate shoes and I had not
been wearing them since I got toPuerto Vallarta.
I was just wearing my sandalsthat I need to replace because
(07:01):
they have no arch support inthem anymore.
And, my God, my knee wasstarting to hurt so bad.
My right knee and my right knee.
I've had problems with it likesince 10 years ago when I used
to do competitive bodybuilding.
I tore it up.
You know it was fine and no, Idid not keep up with competitive
bodybuilding and you know I'vegained some weight and it's just
(07:29):
very unstable muscles andprobably some degenerative bone
issues.
And so my knee started to flareup and I know this sensation,
because the muscles in the backof my knee flare up, my thighs
flare up, my calves were alreadyburning, like shin splinting
down the side of my leg startedhappening since I got to Puerto
Vallarta.
So I was like, oh my God, no,no, no, no, no.
(07:51):
But it was, um, I walked, youknow, we walked as a group to
the center and then I read onthe website that there are 130
stone steps that are incrediblyuneven, at different depths and
lengths, from the very base ofthe retreat center to the very
(08:12):
top where the food hall kitchenis.
And let me tell you, holy fuck,I thought I was going to
fucking die, like.
I started climbing the stairsbecause I was room number 13.
I was halfway between the foodhall and downstairs.
I was close enough to themeditation room and the yoga
(08:33):
shala and I wanted to cry.
I was so embarrassed of myselfbecause of so how out of shape I
am that I was like, oh my God,my knee is going to blow out
here and what the fuck am Igoing to do?
You know, like I was likereally, really embarrassed and
(08:54):
and I don't like stairs Um, I'vehad too many falls downstairs
where I've like torn up myshoulders and my muscles and
stuff like that, and so I'm likehow am I going to do these
steep ass chairs.
You know, and I was just likeyou, just got to take it slow.
You don't be in a rush, youknow, give yourself extra time
and take breathers because, yes,you're out of breath, you don't
(09:15):
have the fucking stamina, um.
So, yeah, um and uh, my room isopen air, meaning I have, um,
three walls and the rest is open, with no glass window or screen
, like nature comes in.
(09:36):
My bed is, um, surrounded bylike mosquito netting that I
super fucking tuck in becauseI'm terrified of goddamn bugs.
Like, I don't mind certain bugs, but I don't like spiders, I
don't like roaches and I don'tlike snakes, that is for sure.
(09:56):
So, yeah, um.
That being said, uh, this isthe jungle and it's on the
Pacific and it's absolutelybeautiful, um, but the, the
waters are rough, there's somebig boulders, there's just a
little beach and there was quitea bit of like jellyfish and
stuff.
(10:17):
So, you know, I was just like,well, I'm just going to go from
my room to where I need to dothe meditations or the yoga
shala, or to food, like I waslike I'm not going to go
swimming, I'm not going to doanything, because I just can't
walk up and down all day longthese steps because literally,
my knee hurts so bad Like it islike locked up, the bones are in
(10:40):
pain, my muscles are in pain,like it is an avid workout for
hours, plus you're sweatingballs, plus you're getting
sunburn and you're just tryingto stay hydrated.
So that was my initial thingwhen I got here was like how the
fuck am I going to do this?
And if you are listening tothis podcast, you're probably
going to hear the sound of theocean and the little fan that
(11:03):
could in my room as I amrecording this while sitting
inside of my netting on my bedthrough GarageBand where I
record my podcast.
So enjoy that sound If you canhear the ocean, plus my fan.
But the retreat started off well.
It goes from Sunday to Saturday.
(11:25):
We had a beautiful openingceremony.
Everybody was just gettingacclimated, they were getting
excited, they were wanting to godown and swim in the saltwater
pool and everything, and theywere signing up, um, for their
services.
We, uh, there were two ladiesthat came um, one a massage
therapist, the other anesthetician to provide their
(11:47):
services.
Um, you know, uh, because whynot?
Why not have massages andholistic facials?
And all of that I didn't signup for it.
I just felt like I'm not anattendee.
I'm here as a facilitator andalso I'm not going to lie I'm
short on cash right now.
So I wanted to just be in mymedicine and just be ready to
(12:12):
hold space for these women andto channel the messages, the
guidance, everything, becausethe people that came here most
of them, I feel really arecoming to do some kind of work.
You know, do I feel that allthe modalities were for them?
No, um, but, and not even youknow, maybe some of the
(12:34):
ceremonies that I did may not befor them, and that's okay too.
You know, I am not in charge oftheir life, I'm not in charge
of their journey.
I'm just here to provide someguidance and different
perspective and just differentexperiences for people to figure
out their own fucking shit.
You know, that's all Um, andyou know, try to enjoy the
(12:55):
beauty of this place, um, butyeah, we had a wonderful opening
ceremony, which was short.
We had dinner and let me tellyou, jenny's food is unreal.
I met Jenny at the retreat thatI went to, that I podcasted
about um right before I went toNew Mexico.
Jenny was a chef there and letme tell you her food is
(13:17):
absolutely medicine.
It is her magic.
It's totally channeled.
It's so colorful, it's sonutrient dense.
She is so mindful of dietaryneeds and preferences.
Everything is so so good.
Needs and preferences, likeeverything is so so good.
Um, and you know she's like heygirl, you know we hit it off in
(13:38):
New Mexico and she wanted me tocome and do the retreat.
I mean, we, yeah, we hit it offin New Mexico and she wanted me
to come to Mexico to do thisretreat, and so I was just
really fucking excited formonths about this Um, and so the
first day we're focusing on,like, chakra healing.
So I've been going through everysingle chakra.
(13:58):
First day I was teaching peoplemuscle testing, chakra
elimination, which is a Peruvianshamanic practice, and we have
quite a few energy healers,people that work in the arena.
So I was just trying to tap inand show them something a little
bit different, some new toolsthat they could use, you know,
and just work on themselves.
(14:20):
Like, figure out, okay, whatchakras am I here to work on?
What does that mean?
How does that translate to myemotions what I'm feeling,
what's happening in my personalworld, that kind of jam.
So that went really well.
And then, yeah, you know, I didan evening meditation with them
(14:40):
and you know I just reallywanted a nice gentle start to
the week because Tuesday I didshamanic breath work in the
style that I do it in and let metell you, it blew the roof off
the yoga show, and I know itbecause you guys know if you
(15:03):
listen to my podcast, thatbreathwork is the number one way
.
I fucking changed my life, doingit for three fucking years, you
know, and I was stillcontinuing to do it.
Because there's journey,there's power in the breath,
there's connection in the breath.
It's it's how I feel God, it'show I feel Jesus, it's it's how
I feel connection to the, to theuniverse, the earth, everything
(15:24):
, um.
So I was really, reallygrateful to be able to share
this powerful medicine and Ireally believed in impacting
most of the people very stronglyin ways that are still going to
be revealing for them.
So we did that work and then wejust, you know, did a really
nice gentle yoga, sound, healingjourney practice in the evening
(15:50):
.
Most of the time I do mymeditations or my experiences,
like after breakfast, like midmorning, and then sometimes I do
like a little thing in theevening, um, but that was
Tuesday and let me tell you, myknee was still fucking hurting.
I was like freaking out aboutbugs.
The first night.
I just could not fucking sleep,um, because, like, I've never
(16:13):
been in a room like that before,like I'm not a camping person,
I know I'm a shamanic killer,but and I love nature.
I love nature at daytime Let mejust say that daytime or at
nighttime, with lots of lightsand no freaking steps, um, so I,
I've been panicking, I've notbeen resting well because I'm
terrified about bugs crawling onme, biting me, um, flying in my
(16:36):
face.
You know that whole thing, um,and you know, so far it's just
been like beetles and moths, butI did have like a big ass
spider come in.
Um, we all did on the samenight which is very interesting,
it was right after breath work.
Um, that's the night where allthese, uh, every, a lot of
people had big spiders come intotheir rooms and it was humid
(17:00):
and just the weather when wasblowing a little bit different
and I was like, oh man, so yeah,I had to battle a spider and I
know spider medicine is reallygood, I love spider medicine.
I just don't love spiders, Ijust don't, and I know I don't
(17:20):
have to love something toappreciate the medicine.
So spider medicine isco-creation with spirit spinning
your web to create the realitythat you want.
Um, so yeah, I've had lots oflittle geckos I see one right up
there and geckos are cute, theydon't bother me, but they do
chirp, um, and so they like tochirp a lot and, um, you know,
(17:40):
just hide in random ass spaceand just like jump out at you if
you're like too close to it orwhatever.
Um, but other than that, youknow, I try to be try to handle
it.
Um, let's see.
Wednesday Um, we did a solarplexus.
Wednesday was our beach day.
We actually took a boat out toa more remote beach about 20
(18:04):
minutes from the center.
Um, getting on the boat, I wasable to do that, not a problem.
Getting off the boat, I wasable to do that.
Whenever the boat came back topick us up, which I did, a
really amazing ocean cordcutting and a stone harmony
ceremony with the ladies, and Ihave some amazing pictures and
(18:24):
videos that I'm going to put onmy website about it.
You know I really enjoyed it.
It was the first time I hadbeen in the Pacific Ocean since
I used to live on Hawaii, onOahu and North Shore, when I was
going to college at BrighamYoung University, hawaii campus
when I was 21.
That was the last time I'd everbeen in the Pacific Ocean, so I
(18:44):
gathered up the string and Igot in the ocean and swam.
Even if it was just fiveminutes, I dig it in the ocean
and it was pretty damn cool.
I really enjoyed it.
The waters are unreal andbeautiful.
Um, and yeah, you know, we spentthe like a couple hours at the
beach and the ceremony boat cameback.
I couldn't like the waves werekind of choppy, so the boat had
(19:07):
to keep, you know, bringingitself back in onto shore so we
could, you know, get on.
Well, I got on on the wrongside and I fucking fell in the
ocean.
Then boat almost dragged my assout and I was just all I can do
was just laugh.
Um, because when I fall or dosome embarrassing ass shit, all
I do is laugh, because what'sthe point of being upset or
(19:30):
getting humiliated?
Like you know, it's just coyotemedicine.
Coyote, I learned, is one of mytotem animals and that kind of
random ass shit is just kind oflike hey, you know you're not
better than anybody.
Learn from this.
You know, like, be open to shit.
You know, be open to peoplehelping you and stuff, and
sometimes you just got to fallon your ass in the water twice.
(19:52):
When we got back to Yalapa, wepulled up on this little beach
that's right around the cornerfrom the retreat center and I
stepped up on the edge of theboat and jumped down into the
ocean.
I don't know what the fuck,what I was thinking, especially
with my bad knee, um, and Islipped and fell again on my ass
, and this time my arm, um, I'mwearing a chakra bracelet.
(20:14):
It hit the edge of the boat andit sounded loud and everyone
was like, oh my God, are youokay Once again?
I just started laughing becauseI'm just like, okay, I don't
know, my ass is in the ocean, Iget it.
I get it Like, let your fuckingego go, um, you know.
So that was.
You know, some lesson the spiderthing was a lesson from coyote
(20:36):
as well of, like you know, growthe fuck up.
You know, be mature, um,appreciate what you have.
And you know, be be in themedicine.
You know, and listen to yourown words.
So that was yesterday.
Today was heart chakra and Idid a beautiful ritual this
morning with rose petals,essential oils, of course, their
(21:00):
crystals, which was the pinkquartz, and we went around and
we released something that'sblocking us from loving ourself,
blocking our heart, and thencalling in our holy longing,
calling in what is our mostinnermost desire, that we just
have a hard time speaking but wewant to bring into the physical
(21:20):
.
And um, it was a beautifulceremony, um, afterwards we made
these um rattles and smudgesticks with with fans and it was
really sweet.
And um, I was gifted a watermassage, watsu water massage
with Alejandro, who is a localhealer that comes out every day
(21:44):
on a water taxi from PuertoVallarta to the retreat center
to work in their heatedwhirlpool to do watsu.
And at first I was just not inthe energy this week.
Like I said, I don't reallyhave a lot of money at this time
for extra massage and facial.
Like, I brought enough pesos tolike food, a little bit of
(22:06):
gifts for specific people andmyself, and then I got to cool
it on that Um, and I have tosave my money because after the
retreat is done on Saturday I'mstaying with Jenny at her house
back in another part of Mexicofor like two, three days and
then I'm going back to Florida.
So I just, you know, I got tocool it and you know I had to
(22:27):
make sure all the bills andstuff for the end of April are
paid, because I'm not working inFlorida until the 10th.
So, um, you know, I gotta bechill.
So I was gifted by Jenny a Watsusession and at first I was like
I don't know if I can handle aman touching me in a very, very
(22:51):
intimate way in the water whereI have to fully surrender and
just flow.
And this person moves my bodyand cradles me and, like you
know, like you're almost like afetus.
You are a fetus again and I canhonestly say it was one of the
most beautiful aquaticexperiences I've ever had in my
(23:12):
life.
Um, this man is a powerfulhealer, a powerful intuitive.
I told him about my knee.
He did so much work on my kneeenergetically, massage, wise
water, exercise, wise.
Um, it was unreal, like I thinkI fell asleep on him, not even
playing, real, like I think Ifell asleep on him, not even
(23:36):
playing.
And he let me record the wholething.
So I have like a one hour filmsession of this beautiful,
beautiful aquatic experience.
And you know he was telling meabout my knee, about you know
how the body knows, and tellingme why I have my pain in my knee
.
And it's because I have a hardtime forgiving my grandmother,
because I have a hard timeforgiving my grandmother, the
lineages that came before withmy grandmother's line, my mother
(23:58):
, you know, and yeah, stillfinding ways of loving myself
and looking for that internallyinstead of external validation
through my work.
And you know it definitelystruck a chord and I said thank
you and, like you know, pickedmyself up and found a way to
(24:22):
climb back up to my room where Ifucking cried for 30 minutes,
you know, and just sat there,just integrating everything and
just looking at the video andbeing like my God, you know, be
proud of yourself that you chosethis experience and that you
were able to have this.
And you know like this isincredible.
I will never forget this.
It just it truly touched me andI'm just so beyond grateful.
(24:45):
After that I ate lunch and thentonight or later this afternoon,
we had Temazcal, which isToltec sweat lodge.
And this is the second timeI've done Temescal.
The first time was last year inTulum, at a retreat I was
attending.
That was absolutely amazing.
And this time I'm coming as amedicine woman and they even
(25:06):
asked me to sit in the innercircle to hold the space for the
women to say prayers andblessings and sing songs for the
four rounds of the sweat launch.
It goes about two hours and, um, yeah, you are fucking drenched
and, um, it will push you toyour limits mentally,
(25:27):
emotionally, physically and itwas just super powerful, super
beautiful.
Um, I was so grateful to bepart of it in that way and it
was very healing for me.
And then that leads us to here.
So I just am grateful for theopportunity.
Tomorrow is our last day.
After breakfast I'll be doingsome work with the ladies on
(25:51):
throat chakra, which I feel isone of the big ones, aside from
heart and some of the lowerchakras that a lot of people
have blocked.
So we're going to be doing somevocal toning and then we're
going to be working with thirdeye.
So I'm going to do somemediumship stuff with them and
we're using some crystals, somestones, and it's going to be
(26:12):
great.
I'm going to maybe do someone-on-one sessions with people,
which I'm really grateful for,and, um, tomorrow evening we
walk to the village.
We're gonna do our final mealin a restaurant and I'm really
excited because I really wanttamales.
Those of you that love mexicanfood know tamales are bomb, so
(26:36):
that's what I'm looking forwardto.
And then we might do like adrum circle fire ceremony.
I'm not sure, but I don't knowif I'll have the stamina for
that and be able to walk backhere in the dark, you know and
then be ready Sunday morning todepart again and walk back to
the pier as they take all of ourluggage or whatever.
(26:58):
So, that being said, I'mincredibly grateful for the
opportunity and I have reallyenjoyed meeting the ladies.
There's a few that I reallyreally resonate with.
I'm glad that my client cameout here.
I know that it's just reallychanging her life and she's
(27:21):
doing and pushing herself anddoing some hard work.
So I am just here to continueto hold space, to learn A couple
lessons.
That I've really learned isabout just appreciating my body,
honoring my body, knowing that,yeah, I need to take better
care of my body.
When I get back, I'm definitelygoing to keep eating in the same
(27:43):
way that I've been eating here,which I've been making a
valiant effort, mindset shiftand you know, um not being
afraid of just asking for help.
If I need a little extra pushum to begin the weight loss
process, that I'd like to do, umso I can feel better in my body
and not aggravate my knee moreand, um, you know, just feel in
(28:10):
my body, um.
So I've enjoyed meeting theladies, I've enjoyed the food.
The nature is beautiful, um,the people in the retreat center
are really nice.
Um I I am grateful that I havea private room.
Um, it's an interesting thingwith the open concept.
It's just not for me, um, butsome of the other rooms here are
enclosed, with AC and stufflike that.
(28:31):
So if I ever do come back here,you know I'll I'll be
requesting one of those rooms ifpossible.
Um.
But yeah, I'm just reallygrateful to Jenny and I'm
excited to end the retreat onSaturday morning and then go
have a few more adventures inMexico and then see where
(28:51):
further opportunities come forme to, you know, facilitate
medicine.
But I'm sure I will stayconnected with a lot of these
ladies.
One of the ladies actually livesin Florida, aside from me and
my client, and she's not thatfar from me, and I can't wait
for her and I to keep in contactwith one another.
As she comes for breathwork,you know, in the healing house,
(29:14):
or comes for services and, justyou know, to stay friends with
people.
It's super important to buildcommunity and sisterhood, and
this is a great way to do it.
When you have a great group ofpeople that are like-minded,
that are here to really do somespiritual work but also have fun
, it just creates this specialmagic, and so I'm just really
(29:36):
grateful to be part of that.
But that's what I've got so far, you know, while I'm still here
in Yalapa, mexico, and yeah,let's see how the medicine ends
this week.
And it's time for me to wrap upso I can try to get some sleep,
especially after the Temazcaltoday Whew, knocked me out.
(29:57):
I didn't even go up for dinnerbecause I went back out to the
Watsu pool just to have moreheat and relax my body, and so
it's time for me to go to sleep.
But I can't wait to be back inFlorida and to keep up with the
episodes in Florida.
(30:20):
And to keep up with theepisodes and, yes, I will put up
the spring breathwork journey.
I just needed a little bit of amental break, but I'll put it
up before I continue my travels,but know that you are an
amazing soul and there is a planand a purpose here for you and
you can do anything.
Anything that you set your mindto starts with healing your
mind, starts with undoing theold things that block you from
(30:40):
living in your purpose andhaving the life that you desire.
And you can heal and you canfind wholeness and acceptance.
And you are perfectly imperfectand, believe me, the best is
yet to come and you are notalone Until we meet again.
Be well, bye, friend.
Welcome back to another episode of the Joyful
Shaman.
I am Naomi, your host with themost, and I am back.
I'm actually live recordingthis episode from Yalapa, mexico
.
I am currently finishing upfacilitating Journey Back to you
(00:22):
, a retreat that is run andhosted by my friend, jenny
Carmel, a phenomenal chef, whograciously asked me to come and
lead a lot of the healingceremonies and bring in the
shamanic element to this retreat, and it has been unreal.
(00:45):
So I'm going to just kind ofgive you the lay down of things
that have been happening, myinsights, the shit I fucked up,
the shit I was having to dealwith internally and some crazy
things that have happened, butin all fairness, crazy things
(01:06):
that have happened, but in allfairness, I'm just really
grateful for the opportunity.
So let's get into it, okay.
So I actually flew into SanDiego, california, last Friday
and I had not been to San Diegoonly in connection to the
airport, in relation to goingdown to Tijuana many years ago
(01:29):
to take my mom and my sister forsome medical treatments.
So this was my first time ofactually going to see some
things, and actually I spenttime in La Jolla, where Jenny
lives, and I spent the nightthere and I was able to go to La
Jolla Cove and I could see theseals, but I didn't get close.
(01:50):
Um had some amazing sushi, umstayed um and just rested, you
know, because I had to cross theborder at Tijuana, uh to catch
a flight from Tijuana to PuertoVallarta.
So I did the CBX bordercrossing.
I had to like go and printdocuments and stuff from a local
(02:13):
FedEx, that Grace.
I was so grateful that it wasright around the corner from
Jenny's house, but that was sucha smooth and easy transition of
being dropped off.
It's almost like a terminal.
And a gentleman helped me to getmy bags checked in, print my
boarding pass, go through 10,000securities.
(02:37):
A girl made me open up mytravel backpack because I have
like a big, hard case Samsonite,because I had to bring so many
things for ceremony andliterally brought over 200
crystals with me for all thechakra ceremonies and plus my
instruments, plus the blanket,plus the projector, plus my
(02:59):
tools, so many things.
So my shit was heavy and it waswell over 60 pounds, that
suitcase plus my travel backpack, which was like 30 pounds
strapped to my back, so I had toput my tongue drum in there.
And a young lady in the Tijuanaairport at security, was like
(03:21):
what is this?
And I was like, well, it's aform of steel drum, it's a
musical instrument.
There's a giant hole in it.
No, there's no drugs, um, but Iwas able to board just fine,
got to Puerto Vallarta, met upwith a couple of the other
ladies that, um, you know, oneof them is my friend and client
that came to this retreat.
(03:42):
And then actually I had met inSan Diego, um, a penthouse, uh,
called Vallarta Shores.
(04:02):
We were actually in the gayzone and it was bear week in
Puerto Vallarta.
So Lady Gaga everywhere, whichI love, and, yes, honey, yes,
queen dance, girl dance.
And let me tell you, these menthat were there were very
handsome men of all ages, um,and they were, there was drag,
(04:24):
there was all of it, and I lovedit, I felt safe.
But anyways, we were in thisamazing penthouse that was
graciously and kindly rented byJenny for us to stay, so that we
could all meet up as a group,because we had to take a water
taxi to Yalapa, as it's onlyaccessible by boat.
It's not an island, it's like alittle indigenous village
(04:48):
that's owned by the indigenouspeople and you can only access
it by a water taxi and it takesabout an hour from Puerto
Vallarta, Maine, to get toYalapa.
So we enjoyed the penthouse.
I had this big beautiful bed.
We had fresh margaritas when wearrived, fresh guac you can
never have too much guacamoleand then we had a beautiful
(05:12):
dinner at the very famous LapaLapa restaurant and let me tell
you that was the bestmotherfucking meal I have had in
a long time, literally on thebeach.
It was pure heaven.
I would totally go back toPuerto Vallarta and explore more
.
Absolutely loved it, did someshopping the next morning before
(05:34):
we caught our taxi and I boughta whole bunch of cool shit and
then, yeah, you know, we grabbeda little taxi.
We all met up.
We met most of the group thenight before at our meet and
greet dinner at Lapa Lapa, butthen we walked on the little
mini pier and we got on thisboat where all of our luggage
(05:55):
that they carried into the boatmade it.
And, um, yeah, we had this bigbouncy boat ride and it was very
meditative for me.
I really enjoyed being on theboat on the water on the Pacific
it.
It was like just super calmingfor me.
So we get to Yelapa and we getoff on the little pier there.
(06:15):
I did not fall on my ass thistime on this boat, thank God.
But in Yelapa roads are notallowed.
Like, paths are there and youcan ride, like by mule, atv,
motorbikes, bicycles or walking.
So we had a little tour fromwhere we were dropped off at the
(06:38):
pier to the Pura Vida WellnessRetreat Center and let me tell
you I am not the best at walkingon like very rocky terrain,
uneven terrain.
I was not wearing theappropriate shoes and I had not
been wearing them since I got toPuerto Vallarta.
I was just wearing my sandalsthat I need to replace because
(07:01):
they have no arch support inthem anymore.
And, my God, my knee wasstarting to hurt so bad.
My right knee and my right knee.
I've had problems with it likesince 10 years ago when I used
to do competitive bodybuilding.
I tore it up.
You know it was fine and no, Idid not keep up with competitive
bodybuilding and you know I'vegained some weight and it's just
(07:29):
very unstable muscles andprobably some degenerative bone
issues.
And so my knee started to flareup and I know this sensation,
because the muscles in the backof my knee flare up, my thighs
flare up, my calves were alreadyburning, like shin splinting
down the side of my leg startedhappening since I got to Puerto
Vallarta.
So I was like, oh my God, no,no, no, no, no.
(07:51):
But it was, um, I walked, youknow, we walked as a group to
the center and then I read onthe website that there are 130
stone steps that are incrediblyuneven, at different depths and
lengths, from the very base ofthe retreat center to the very
(08:12):
top where the food hall kitchenis.
And let me tell you, holy fuck,I thought I was going to
fucking die, like.
I started climbing the stairsbecause I was room number 13.
I was halfway between the foodhall and downstairs.
I was close enough to themeditation room and the yoga
(08:33):
shala and I wanted to cry.
I was so embarrassed of myselfbecause of so how out of shape I
am that I was like, oh my God,my knee is going to blow out
here and what the fuck am Igoing to do?
You know, like I was likereally, really embarrassed and
(08:54):
and I don't like stairs Um, I'vehad too many falls downstairs
where I've like torn up myshoulders and my muscles and
stuff like that, and so I'm likehow am I going to do these
steep ass chairs.
You know, and I was just likeyou, just got to take it slow.
You don't be in a rush, youknow, give yourself extra time
and take breathers because, yes,you're out of breath, you don't
(09:15):
have the fucking stamina, um.
So, yeah, um and uh, my room isopen air, meaning I have, um,
three walls and the rest is open, with no glass window or screen
, like nature comes in.
(09:36):
My bed is, um, surrounded bylike mosquito netting that I
super fucking tuck in becauseI'm terrified of goddamn bugs.
Like, I don't mind certain bugs, but I don't like spiders, I
don't like roaches and I don'tlike snakes, that is for sure.
(09:56):
So, yeah, um.
That being said, uh, this isthe jungle and it's on the
Pacific and it's absolutelybeautiful, um, but the, the
waters are rough, there's somebig boulders, there's just a
little beach and there was quitea bit of like jellyfish and
stuff.
(10:17):
So, you know, I was just like,well, I'm just going to go from
my room to where I need to dothe meditations or the yoga
shala, or to food, like I waslike I'm not going to go
swimming, I'm not going to doanything, because I just can't
walk up and down all day longthese steps because literally,
my knee hurts so bad Like it islike locked up, the bones are in
(10:40):
pain, my muscles are in pain,like it is an avid workout for
hours, plus you're sweatingballs, plus you're getting
sunburn and you're just tryingto stay hydrated.
So that was my initial thingwhen I got here was like how the
fuck am I going to do this?
And if you are listening tothis podcast, you're probably
going to hear the sound of theocean and the little fan that
(11:03):
could in my room as I amrecording this while sitting
inside of my netting on my bedthrough GarageBand where I
record my podcast.
So enjoy that sound If you canhear the ocean, plus my fan.
But the retreat started off well.
It goes from Sunday to Saturday.
(11:25):
We had a beautiful openingceremony.
Everybody was just gettingacclimated, they were getting
excited, they were wanting to godown and swim in the saltwater
pool and everything, and theywere signing up, um, for their
services.
We, uh, there were two ladiesthat came um, one a massage
therapist, the other anesthetician to provide their
(11:47):
services.
Um, you know, uh, because whynot?
Why not have massages andholistic facials?
And all of that I didn't signup for it.
I just felt like I'm not anattendee.
I'm here as a facilitator andalso I'm not going to lie I'm
short on cash right now.
So I wanted to just be in mymedicine and just be ready to
(12:12):
hold space for these women andto channel the messages, the
guidance, everything, becausethe people that came here most
of them, I feel really arecoming to do some kind of work.
You know, do I feel that allthe modalities were for them?
No, um, but, and not even youknow, maybe some of the
(12:34):
ceremonies that I did may not befor them, and that's okay too.
You know, I am not in charge oftheir life, I'm not in charge
of their journey.
I'm just here to provide someguidance and different
perspective and just differentexperiences for people to figure
out their own fucking shit.
You know, that's all Um, andyou know, try to enjoy the
(12:55):
beauty of this place, um, butyeah, we had a wonderful opening
ceremony, which was short.
We had dinner and let me tellyou, jenny's food is unreal.
I met Jenny at the retreat thatI went to, that I podcasted
about um right before I went toNew Mexico.
Jenny was a chef there and letme tell you her food is
(13:17):
absolutely medicine.
It is her magic.
It's totally channeled.
It's so colorful, it's sonutrient dense.
She is so mindful of dietaryneeds and preferences.
Everything is so so good.
Needs and preferences, likeeverything is so so good.
Um, and you know she's like heygirl, you know we hit it off in
(13:38):
New Mexico and she wanted me tocome and do the retreat.
I mean, we, yeah, we hit it offin New Mexico and she wanted me
to come to Mexico to do thisretreat, and so I was just
really fucking excited formonths about this Um, and so the
first day we're focusing on,like, chakra healing.
So I've been going through everysingle chakra.
(13:58):
First day I was teaching peoplemuscle testing, chakra
elimination, which is a Peruvianshamanic practice, and we have
quite a few energy healers,people that work in the arena.
So I was just trying to tap inand show them something a little
bit different, some new toolsthat they could use, you know,
and just work on themselves.
(14:20):
Like, figure out, okay, whatchakras am I here to work on?
What does that mean?
How does that translate to myemotions what I'm feeling,
what's happening in my personalworld, that kind of jam.
So that went really well.
And then, yeah, you know, I didan evening meditation with them
(14:40):
and you know I just reallywanted a nice gentle start to
the week because Tuesday I didshamanic breath work in the
style that I do it in and let metell you, it blew the roof off
the yoga show, and I know itbecause you guys know if you
(15:03):
listen to my podcast, thatbreathwork is the number one way
.
I fucking changed my life, doingit for three fucking years, you
know, and I was stillcontinuing to do it.
Because there's journey,there's power in the breath,
there's connection in the breath.
It's it's how I feel God, it'show I feel Jesus, it's it's how
I feel connection to the, to theuniverse, the earth, everything
(15:24):
, um.
So I was really, reallygrateful to be able to share
this powerful medicine and Ireally believed in impacting
most of the people very stronglyin ways that are still going to
be revealing for them.
So we did that work and then wejust, you know, did a really
nice gentle yoga, sound, healingjourney practice in the evening
(15:50):
.
Most of the time I do mymeditations or my experiences,
like after breakfast, like midmorning, and then sometimes I do
like a little thing in theevening, um, but that was
Tuesday and let me tell you, myknee was still fucking hurting.
I was like freaking out aboutbugs.
The first night.
I just could not fucking sleep,um, because, like, I've never
(16:13):
been in a room like that before,like I'm not a camping person,
I know I'm a shamanic killer,but and I love nature.
I love nature at daytime Let mejust say that daytime or at
nighttime, with lots of lightsand no freaking steps, um, so I,
I've been panicking, I've notbeen resting well because I'm
terrified about bugs crawling onme, biting me, um, flying in my
(16:36):
face.
You know that whole thing, um,and you know, so far it's just
been like beetles and moths, butI did have like a big ass
spider come in.
Um, we all did on the samenight which is very interesting,
it was right after breath work.
Um, that's the night where allthese, uh, every, a lot of
people had big spiders come intotheir rooms and it was humid
(17:00):
and just the weather when wasblowing a little bit different
and I was like, oh man, so yeah,I had to battle a spider and I
know spider medicine is reallygood, I love spider medicine.
I just don't love spiders, Ijust don't, and I know I don't
(17:20):
have to love something toappreciate the medicine.
So spider medicine isco-creation with spirit spinning
your web to create the realitythat you want.
Um, so yeah, I've had lots oflittle geckos I see one right up
there and geckos are cute, theydon't bother me, but they do
chirp, um, and so they like tochirp a lot and, um, you know,
(17:40):
just hide in random ass spaceand just like jump out at you if
you're like too close to it orwhatever.
Um, but other than that, youknow, I try to be try to handle
it.
Um, let's see.
Wednesday Um, we did a solarplexus.
Wednesday was our beach day.
We actually took a boat out toa more remote beach about 20
(18:04):
minutes from the center.
Um, getting on the boat, I wasable to do that, not a problem.
Getting off the boat, I wasable to do that.
Whenever the boat came back topick us up, which I did, a
really amazing ocean cordcutting and a stone harmony
ceremony with the ladies, and Ihave some amazing pictures and
(18:24):
videos that I'm going to put onmy website about it.
You know I really enjoyed it.
It was the first time I hadbeen in the Pacific Ocean since
I used to live on Hawaii, onOahu and North Shore, when I was
going to college at BrighamYoung University, hawaii campus
when I was 21.
That was the last time I'd everbeen in the Pacific Ocean, so I
(18:44):
gathered up the string and Igot in the ocean and swam.
Even if it was just fiveminutes, I dig it in the ocean
and it was pretty damn cool.
I really enjoyed it.
The waters are unreal andbeautiful.
Um, and yeah, you know, we spentthe like a couple hours at the
beach and the ceremony boat cameback.
I couldn't like the waves werekind of choppy, so the boat had
(19:07):
to keep, you know, bringingitself back in onto shore so we
could, you know, get on.
Well, I got on on the wrongside and I fucking fell in the
ocean.
Then boat almost dragged my assout and I was just all I can do
was just laugh.
Um, because when I fall or dosome embarrassing ass shit, all
I do is laugh, because what'sthe point of being upset or
(19:30):
getting humiliated?
Like you know, it's just coyotemedicine.
Coyote, I learned, is one of mytotem animals and that kind of
random ass shit is just kind oflike hey, you know you're not
better than anybody.
Learn from this.
You know, like, be open to shit.
You know, be open to peoplehelping you and stuff, and
sometimes you just got to fallon your ass in the water twice.
(19:52):
When we got back to Yalapa, wepulled up on this little beach
that's right around the cornerfrom the retreat center and I
stepped up on the edge of theboat and jumped down into the
ocean.
I don't know what the fuck,what I was thinking, especially
with my bad knee, um, and Islipped and fell again on my ass
, and this time my arm, um, I'mwearing a chakra bracelet.
(20:14):
It hit the edge of the boat andit sounded loud and everyone
was like, oh my God, are youokay Once again?
I just started laughing becauseI'm just like, okay, I don't
know, my ass is in the ocean, Iget it.
I get it Like, let your fuckingego go, um, you know.
So that was.
You know, some lesson the spiderthing was a lesson from coyote
(20:36):
as well of, like you know, growthe fuck up.
You know, be mature, um,appreciate what you have.
And you know, be be in themedicine.
You know, and listen to yourown words.
So that was yesterday.
Today was heart chakra and Idid a beautiful ritual this
morning with rose petals,essential oils, of course, their
(21:00):
crystals, which was the pinkquartz, and we went around and
we released something that'sblocking us from loving ourself,
blocking our heart, and thencalling in our holy longing,
calling in what is our mostinnermost desire, that we just
have a hard time speaking but wewant to bring into the physical
(21:20):
.
And um, it was a beautifulceremony, um, afterwards we made
these um rattles and smudgesticks with with fans and it was
really sweet.
And um, I was gifted a watermassage, watsu water massage
with Alejandro, who is a localhealer that comes out every day
(21:44):
on a water taxi from PuertoVallarta to the retreat center
to work in their heatedwhirlpool to do watsu.
And at first I was just not inthe energy this week.
Like I said, I don't reallyhave a lot of money at this time
for extra massage and facial.
Like, I brought enough pesos tolike food, a little bit of
(22:06):
gifts for specific people andmyself, and then I got to cool
it on that Um, and I have tosave my money because after the
retreat is done on Saturday I'mstaying with Jenny at her house
back in another part of Mexicofor like two, three days and
then I'm going back to Florida.
So I just, you know, I got tocool it and you know I had to
(22:27):
make sure all the bills andstuff for the end of April are
paid, because I'm not working inFlorida until the 10th.
So, um, you know, I gotta bechill.
So I was gifted by Jenny a Watsusession and at first I was like
I don't know if I can handle aman touching me in a very, very
(22:51):
intimate way in the water whereI have to fully surrender and
just flow.
And this person moves my bodyand cradles me and, like you
know, like you're almost like afetus.
You are a fetus again and I canhonestly say it was one of the
most beautiful aquaticexperiences I've ever had in my
(23:12):
life.
Um, this man is a powerfulhealer, a powerful intuitive.
I told him about my knee.
He did so much work on my kneeenergetically, massage, wise
water, exercise, wise.
Um, it was unreal, like I thinkI fell asleep on him, not even
playing, real, like I think Ifell asleep on him, not even
(23:36):
playing.
And he let me record the wholething.
So I have like a one hour filmsession of this beautiful,
beautiful aquatic experience.
And you know he was telling meabout my knee, about you know
how the body knows, and tellingme why I have my pain in my knee
.
And it's because I have a hardtime forgiving my grandmother,
because I have a hard timeforgiving my grandmother, the
lineages that came before withmy grandmother's line, my mother
(23:58):
, you know, and yeah, stillfinding ways of loving myself
and looking for that internallyinstead of external validation
through my work.
And you know it definitelystruck a chord and I said thank
you and, like you know, pickedmyself up and found a way to
(24:22):
climb back up to my room where Ifucking cried for 30 minutes,
you know, and just sat there,just integrating everything and
just looking at the video andbeing like my God, you know, be
proud of yourself that you chosethis experience and that you
were able to have this.
And you know like this isincredible.
I will never forget this.
It just it truly touched me andI'm just so beyond grateful.
(24:45):
After that I ate lunch and thentonight or later this afternoon,
we had Temazcal, which isToltec sweat lodge.
And this is the second timeI've done Temescal.
The first time was last year inTulum, at a retreat I was
attending.
That was absolutely amazing.
And this time I'm coming as amedicine woman and they even
(25:06):
asked me to sit in the innercircle to hold the space for the
women to say prayers andblessings and sing songs for the
four rounds of the sweat launch.
It goes about two hours and, um, yeah, you are fucking drenched
and, um, it will push you toyour limits mentally,
(25:27):
emotionally, physically and itwas just super powerful, super
beautiful.
Um, I was so grateful to bepart of it in that way and it
was very healing for me.
And then that leads us to here.
So I just am grateful for theopportunity.
Tomorrow is our last day.
After breakfast I'll be doingsome work with the ladies on
(25:51):
throat chakra, which I feel isone of the big ones, aside from
heart and some of the lowerchakras that a lot of people
have blocked.
So we're going to be doing somevocal toning and then we're
going to be working with thirdeye.
So I'm going to do somemediumship stuff with them and
we're using some crystals, somestones, and it's going to be
(26:12):
great.
I'm going to maybe do someone-on-one sessions with people,
which I'm really grateful for,and, um, tomorrow evening we
walk to the village.
We're gonna do our final mealin a restaurant and I'm really
excited because I really wanttamales.
Those of you that love mexicanfood know tamales are bomb, so
(26:36):
that's what I'm looking forwardto.
And then we might do like adrum circle fire ceremony.
I'm not sure, but I don't knowif I'll have the stamina for
that and be able to walk backhere in the dark, you know and
then be ready Sunday morning todepart again and walk back to
the pier as they take all of ourluggage or whatever.
(26:58):
So, that being said, I'mincredibly grateful for the
opportunity and I have reallyenjoyed meeting the ladies.
There's a few that I reallyreally resonate with.
I'm glad that my client cameout here.
I know that it's just reallychanging her life and she's
(27:21):
doing and pushing herself anddoing some hard work.
So I am just here to continueto hold space, to learn A couple
lessons.
That I've really learned isabout just appreciating my body,
honoring my body, knowing that,yeah, I need to take better
care of my body.
When I get back, I'm definitelygoing to keep eating in the same
(27:43):
way that I've been eating here,which I've been making a
valiant effort, mindset shiftand you know, um not being
afraid of just asking for help.
If I need a little extra pushum to begin the weight loss
process, that I'd like to do, umso I can feel better in my body
and not aggravate my knee moreand, um, you know, just feel in
(28:10):
my body, um.
So I've enjoyed meeting theladies, I've enjoyed the food.
The nature is beautiful, um,the people in the retreat center
are really nice.
Um I I am grateful that I havea private room.
Um, it's an interesting thingwith the open concept.
It's just not for me, um, butsome of the other rooms here are
enclosed, with AC and stufflike that.
(28:31):
So if I ever do come back here,you know I'll I'll be
requesting one of those rooms ifpossible.
Um.
But yeah, I'm just reallygrateful to Jenny and I'm
excited to end the retreat onSaturday morning and then go
have a few more adventures inMexico and then see where
(28:51):
further opportunities come forme to, you know, facilitate
medicine.
But I'm sure I will stayconnected with a lot of these
ladies.
One of the ladies actually livesin Florida, aside from me and
my client, and she's not thatfar from me, and I can't wait
for her and I to keep in contactwith one another.
As she comes for breathwork,you know, in the healing house,
(29:14):
or comes for services and, justyou know, to stay friends with
people.
It's super important to buildcommunity and sisterhood, and
this is a great way to do it.
When you have a great group ofpeople that are like-minded,
that are here to really do somespiritual work but also have fun
, it just creates this specialmagic, and so I'm just really
(29:36):
grateful to be part of that.
But that's what I've got so far, you know, while I'm still here
in Yalapa, mexico, and yeah,let's see how the medicine ends
this week.
And it's time for me to wrap upso I can try to get some sleep,
especially after the Temazcaltoday Whew, knocked me out.
(29:57):
I didn't even go up for dinnerbecause I went back out to the
Watsu pool just to have moreheat and relax my body, and so
it's time for me to go to sleep.
But I can't wait to be back inFlorida and to keep up with the
episodes in Florida.
(30:20):
And to keep up with theepisodes and, yes, I will put up
the spring breathwork journey.
I just needed a little bit of amental break, but I'll put it
up before I continue my travels,but know that you are an
amazing soul and there is a planand a purpose here for you and
you can do anything.
Anything that you set your mindto starts with healing your
mind, starts with undoing theold things that block you from
(30:40):
living in your purpose andhaving the life that you desire.
And you can heal and you canfind wholeness and acceptance.
And you are perfectly imperfectand, believe me, the best is
yet to come and you are notalone Until we meet again.
Be well, bye, friend.
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