Three Simple Secrets to Greater Happiness

Happiness! We all want a little more of it in our lives, right? But why is holding onto it so hard? Well...because life is difficult. That will almost always be true, but we can still take some simple steps and retrain some habits to help make "happy" our default far more often. 

Episode Transcript

Laura Wakefield (00:09):
The secret to happiness is complicated, right?
And elusive.
Not necessarily.
Welcome to the JoyfulicityPodcast.
I'm your host, Laura Wakefield.
Happiness.
Almost everyone would like moreof it in their life, but

(00:30):
sometimes it can seem soelusive, can't it?
We might have a few good days,but then something bad happens
that kills our vibe.
Weekends are fun.
But inevitably, Monday morningrolls around and we have to go
back to work.
Turning on the news and beingconfronted with the endless
turmoil and strife in the worldcurrently, it's enough to stamp
the happy right out of a person.

(00:51):
Thankfully, there are threefairly simple secrets to
increasing and sustaining yourhappiness level, regardless of
your circumstances.
They're completely free andeasy to implement.
All that's required is awillingness to make some subtle,
yet profound, shifts in mindsetand habit patterns.
Number one, pay attention andnotice the positive.

(01:13):
For many years, I used atagline on my social media pages
that read, life is full ofmagic and wonder if you take the
time to notice it.
And I still believe this now.
Every single day, all aroundyou, there are so many things to
smile about.
Sometimes they're big, like anew romance, or a promotion at
work, or graduating fromcollege.

(01:34):
But the majority of the happymakers are actually quite small
and simple things.
So common, in fact, that we canstop noticing them altogether
if we're not careful.
For instance, there are cloudsand sunsets and stars in the sky
that we see all the time.
But how often do you pause toreally look at them and take in

(01:58):
how truly magnificent they are?
While rushing through yourdaily routine, do you even feel
the warmth of the sun on yourskin or hear the birds singing
anymore?
What about the sounds of yourchildren laughing?
When they're grown one day, youwill miss hearing that, believe
me.
But are you fully experiencingthe joy of it right now in the

(02:20):
present while you still have it?
Do you stop and play when theyask you to?
Ordinary things, too, likepetting the dog, walking in the
rain, the loveliness of asunflower.
the night music of thecrickets, a song on the radio
that makes you feel likedancing.
Next time it comes on, will youactually dance around for a

(02:41):
minute?
It will feel so great, Ipromise.
Your kids might be embarrassed,but do it anyway.
I know, I know, there areproblems and issues everywhere.
We can't just ignore them whilestopping to smell the roses,
right?
That's true, although most ofattitude is not actually about
circumstances, but it's ratherhow we choose to show up for

(03:03):
them.
Along the busy road to successand while slaying the necessary
dragons of our lives, quitmultitasking every now and then
and raise your head.
Open your heart.
Just breathe.
Notice and remember thebeautiful.
It's all around you, rightthere for the taking, and it's
waiting to bless you.
Let the happy in.

(03:26):
Second, express gratitude freelyand often.
I wouldn't want to eat turkeyand stuffing every single night,
but other than that, I thinkThanksgiving should be
celebrated 365 days a year.
There's something about theopen declaration of gratitude
for our blessings that makesthem feel more tangible, more

(03:49):
meaningful.
Gratitude and happiness go handin hand, so when you
consciously foster athankfulness mindset, your
percentage of happy thoughts andfeelings will shoot way up as
well.
Pain has a way of capturing ourfull attention immediately.
If you break your arm, you'llnot likely be thinking much

(04:09):
about all of the other bones inyour body that are not broken at
that moment.
You'll be intensely fixated onthe one that is causing
discomfort.
It's the same with things thatmake us feel angry or sad.
We don't have to make anyeffort to give those things our
primary focus.
They reach out and take it, andthen hold on to it fiercely.
So in order to maintain aspirit of gratitude, we need to

(04:31):
make a firm decision to overridethat natural human response and
direct our minds toward goodfortunes on purpose.
I would suggest forming aritual or habit that directs you
toward the positive daily.
Perhaps during your morningprayers or meditations, you
could ponder on the wonders ofnature.
Or in your journal entry eachevening, create a section of

(04:55):
things that went right that day.
This not only helps you torecall the good amidst the bad,
but the more regularly that youdo this, you'll find that you're
increasingly aware of thingsduring the day that you could
include.
What you focus on expands, andyou notice more of it.
Third, do more, and do less.

(05:16):
Think for a minute about thelast time you were truly
contented.
I mean like had a good bellylaugh or felt inspiration
flowing through you and didn'twant a particular moment to end.
When you experienced thosetimes of pure bliss, where were
you?
What activities were you doing?
Who were you with, if anyone?

(05:38):
For various reasons, it's notalways possible to totally
recreate happy times we've hadexactly.
But the point is to get yourmind focused on what you've most
enjoyed before so you can domore of it again.
Sounds so basic, right?
For some, it could be earlymorning fishing alone on a
secluded river with only thesounds of the frogs for the

(05:59):
company.
For others, it's a night out onthe town partying with friends.
It could be knitting or sportsor music or volunteering that
lights you up and holds yourinterest.
For me, it's travel, hiking,time with family and friends,
home improvement projects,reading, writing, and puttering
in my garden.
Water has also been a healingelement for me, so the beach or

(06:21):
even a decorative fountain canbring me to a place of peace.
Sometimes we may become sodisconnected from our inner
selves that we don't even knowwhat hobbies would be fun for us
anymore.
Not to worry.
Just start today by affirmingto yourself that you are worthy
and deserving of enjoyment.
There are so many have-to itemson our daily list, it's

(06:43):
important to put some get-to,recreation and restoration on
the schedule as well.
Also, keeping plans you'reexcited about on the calendar
out ahead at all times gives yousomething to always be looking
forward to.
The anticipation can be almostas energizing as the actual
activity.
This seems like such an obviousconcept to figure out what

(07:06):
makes you smile and then do moreof it, but people often resist
it internally, thinking it's tooexpensive or frivolous or even
selfish to spend too much timeon merriment when there's so
much important work to be done.
Stop it.
Just stop.
If money's tight, findinexpensive versions of your

(07:26):
favorite things.
They're out there.
And as for selfish, please hearme on this.
It's not.
Your sour mood and your brightsmile are both contagious to
others.
So which would you like toinfect the people in your life
with?
Which memory do you care toleave behind you for others when
you exit a room or depart thisearth someday?

(07:49):
Let that sink in for a minute.
On the flip side of this coin,it's equally critical when
seeking greater happiness to doless of the things that bring
you anger, despair, and anxiety.
We can't eliminate everythingunpleasant, to be sure.
There's some drudgery,monotony, and irritation that is
just part of life and should bedealt with as patiently as

(08:11):
possible.
Many things are beyond ourcontrol as well, but much of our
sorrow is of our own making.
We have more power to controlour own destinies than we allow
ourselves to believe.
Take stock of the top sourcesof frustration and discomfort in
your life and make changeswhere needed.
If a relationship or job orcircumstance is bringing more

(08:35):
pain than joy, it may be time toeliminate, limit, or actively
address and alter it.
That may not be as easy as itsounds, but consider this.
It may not turn out to be asdifficult as you think it will
be either.
You'll never know until youtry, so don't allow fear of
failure or inadequacy to keepyou from reaching higher, and

(08:57):
never just accept misery as theway that it is.
It really doesn't have to be.
I'm not suggesting, of course,that you walk through life with
rose-colored glasses on orpretend to be happy when you're
not.
Taking these steps does notmean that bad things will never
happen to you.
or that there won't still betimes when you cry.

(09:17):
There will probably always behard days and heartbreaks and
injustices to deal with.
Challenges will come, andsometimes powerful and decisive
actions might need to be taken,in addition to thinking positive
thoughts.
But the simple concepts I'vetalked about today can help you
create a personal center that isbased on happiness, kind of

(09:39):
like your own little inner eyeof the storm.
So troubles may be ragingaround you, but you have a
foundation of peace that remainsfor you to stand on.
When you fall into a slump,these simple principles can help
you get back up faster.
They're tools you can use toreset your mood and outlook
anytime and in any place.

(10:01):
It only takes a moment or twoto stop, take a breath, notice
something beautiful orwonderful, pour thanks out into
the universe for its gifts, anddecide on what enjoyable thing
you'll do next and when, andthen just keep moving forward.
Repeat as often as necessary.
Thank you so much for joining metoday on the Joyfulicity

(10:23):
Podcast.
And remember, dare to dream,plan to play, and live to learn.