July 12, 2025 • 12 mins
FOMO - fear of missing out. We've all felt it before, haven't we? Or known someone who has? I think it's one of the leading causes of the discontent that's holding us back, individually and as a society, from experiencing much of the joy that life has to offer.
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Laura Wakefield (00:00):
FOMO, fear of missing out.
We've all felt it before,haven't we?
Or known someone who has.
I think it's one of the leadingcauses of the discontent that's
holding us individually and asa society back from experiencing
(00:22):
a lot of the joy that life hasto offer.
Welcome to The Joy fulicityPodcast.
I'm your host, Laura Wakefield.
Okay, listen up, because I'mabout to say something
unpopular.
As much as society and socialmedia wants you to believe that
you can, guess what?
You can't have it all.
(00:44):
You just can't.
There simply isn't enough timeor energy in the world to
accommodate all of thepossibilities.
I'm not saying that you can'thave anything or even that you
can't have a lot of good things,but you can't have everything
and you shouldn't even try tohave or be or do or learn or own
too many things at once.
(01:06):
Why not, right?
We live in a time of greatopportunity.
We have more personal freedomthan ever before in history to
design the lives best suited tous.
We're reminded all the timethat we can be who we want to
be, love who we want to love,and think how we want to think.
That's wonderful, isn't it?
(01:27):
Of course! The television setis also constantly bombarding us
with images of the myriad ofchoices we have in what to buy,
how to dress, what jobs weshould pursue, and the thousand
places we must travel to beforewe die.
Social media gives us an insidelook at the lives of everyone
(01:50):
we know, and even everyone weonly met once casually and never
talked to again in person.
We see the projects they'redoing, the accomplishments of
their children, the trip theyjust took, the wonderful meal
they ate for lunch, and all thecool activities they did this
past weekend.
We hear about their careerpromotions, their fancy new
(02:10):
cars, the long nap they took,the house they just bought, and
the puppy they recently adoptedthat looks so dang adorable.
Reality programs even make usfeel like we're living side by
side with celebrities, arepremier chefs, or can remodel a
whole house in 30 minutes orless.
We love feeling that powerful,even though we surely know it's
(02:35):
mostly made up and not reallyreality at all.
Or do we know that?
Technology allows us to knowabout things happening in the
remotest parts of the planet andintroduces us to far more
information than we can possiblyabsorb, and yet we clamor for
more.
We have access, at leastvirtually, to pretty much
(02:58):
everything life has to offer,but in so many ways, we seem to
feel less satisfied than everbefore.
How can that be?
Shouldn't having moreopportunities laid out before us
mean that we lead an evenricher, fuller life?
Well, in theory, yes, exceptthat we tend to forget that even
(03:21):
with so many options at ourdisposal, we do still have to
choose between them.
When we're exposed to such avast array of wonderful things,
we naturally want them.
All of them.
And this can be a negativething when it causes us to
wallow in jealousy or self-pityor feelings of being less than
(03:43):
by comparison to other people.
It can be a positive thing whenit inspires us to reach higher
or further or shows us ideas wemight otherwise never have
considered.
The hard truth is, though, thatevery time we make a choice, no
matter how big or small, itnecessarily eliminates many
(04:05):
other choices, at least for thatmoment in time.
If you decide to have a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich for
lunch, you can't also have everyother kind of sandwich that
same day.
Your belly couldn't hold itall.
And how silly would it be toresent not having the tuna fish
or the turkey, rather thansimply enjoy the peanut butter
(04:27):
you picked out first?
I mean, you chose it becauseyou liked it, right?
We've been conditioned as asociety, however, to believe
that not only can we have allthings, but that we should have
them and even deserve to havethem all right now.
So rather than rejoice that wehad the rights and abilities to
(04:49):
choose option A, we fret that wedon't also have B and C
simultaneously.
We try to run even faster tomake sure we won't miss out on D
and E.
Meanwhile, option A is oftengetting totally lost in the
effort.
In our exhaustion anddiscontentedness, we can't fully
(05:10):
experience and embrace the goodthings that we do have.
Even when we know that we areenormously blessed, we can still
feel depressed if we witnesssomeone on Facebook basking in a
different set of blessings.
We're always on the lookout forsomething new and better.
And I don't just mean stuffeither.
(05:31):
We do this with experiences,belief systems, jobs, and even
with our relationships.
There is no end to this.
If we somehow managed toaccumulate and juggle options A,
B, C, D, and E, there wouldstill be options F and G to
reach for, even when our handsare already full.
(05:56):
I walked into my closet thismorning, and I put on my current
favorite pair of pants.
They're a soft, comfortable,bright orange, fun pair of
jeans, and I feel fantastic inthese, and they fit me really
well.
But, I mean, I also really likemy yoga pants and my gray work
slacks.
What if I decided to wear thoseover the top of my jeans so
(06:20):
that I could experience allthree of them at once?
For that matter, what if Idecided to put on all of my
pairs of pants today?
I like all of them fordifferent reasons and I don't
really want to have to choosejust one.
Some of the pants in my closetare a little bit too tight,
because I've outgrown them.
(06:40):
But I did love them once upon atime, and I'm not ready to give
them up just yet.
In case I lose a few pounds.
I mean, hey, it can happen,right?
Some of the pants in my closetare a little bit too big.
Some were gifts I never wouldhave picked for myself, but I
probably ought to use them so Idon't hurt the giver's feelings.
(07:02):
Some are trendy, and I'll wearthem because it's the
fashionable thing to do, eventhough I may not personally
think that they're attractive.
Some have sentimental value,hearkening back to another place
and time in my life.
I don't really need themanymore.
I should probably donate themto another person who they would
(07:24):
work better for now, but whatthe heck, I'll just throw all
those pairs of pants on too.
And on my friend's Instagram, Isaw the cutest new shorts that
she just bought at the mall.
So I think I'll go over and getthose and put them on over the
top of all of these others.
And while I'm over there, Iwant to put on every pair of
(07:47):
pants in every single store justin case.
You never know what the daycould bring and I want to be
prepared.
Now that would be ridiculous,right?
I'm going to be far morecomfortable.
just wearing the one pair oforange jeans that I started out
with.
I wouldn't be able to walk oreven breathe if I tried to wear
(08:10):
all the pants in the area, andwhy would I even need to or want
to when my original pair is myfavorite anyway?
Now, of course, I can alwayswear a different pair tomorrow.
I get to choose whether to wearmy few trusted pairs often or
(08:31):
go for variety and change it upevery day.
I also get to decide if I wearwild prints or classic styles,
if I want bootcut or skinny orwool or spandex.
I could theoretically wearhundreds of different pairs of
pants in my lifetime if I'mwilling to pay the price for all
(08:51):
of them.
No matter what, though, therewill be many, many, many pairs
of pants in this world that Inever get to wear.
And that is okay.
It really is.
I just want to be happy andcomfortable in the ones I have
on today.
Now, obviously, I'm not serioustelling this story.
(09:12):
I'm just trying to illustrate apoint.
Dream big! Live large.
Learn something new every day.
I would never say otherwise.
Life is short after all.
Let that possibility overloadbe a source of joy and
direction, but not of stress andworry.
(09:35):
When your pants get dirty ordon't fit anymore or just don't
feel good for whatever reason,You can always swap them out for
a different pair, but one pairat a time.
Or light layers if that's yourthing.
Just not so many that itbecomes cumbersome.
(09:55):
There is great peace to be foundin being truly present in the
choices of today.
Really living with them, inthem, and through them for a
while.
Counting the things that wentright, and living in gratitude
for the bounty that we possess,whatever form that is taking in
(10:18):
our lives at the moment.
We might be young parents athome with children and missing
our freedom.
We might be empty nesters whosekids have grown up and we're
missing the days of havinglittle kids at home.
We might be working a job thatsometimes we feel like we wish
that we could travel more, or wemight be retired and feeling
(10:40):
kind of bored and wishing thatwe had our career back.
No matter what stage of lifewe're in, there's always going
to be something that we'relooking at in someone else's
life that looks interesting.
So it's really important toidentify the blessings of your
life right now today, whateverthey may be, and try to live in
(11:04):
them.
Right now, today, in gratitude.
We don't need to have it all.
All, in truth, would be way tooheavy a burden to carry.
So let that go.
Put on your favorite pair ofjeans and remember that today is
(11:27):
a beautiful day, just as it is.
Thank you for joining me todayon The Joy fulicity Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode,please like and share and come
follow me on all major socialmedia sites at Joy fulicity, or
on my website, joyfulicity.com.
You can follow the link in thedescription for this episode to
(11:49):
all of the places that we canconnect.
Have a great day, everybody.
And remember, dare to dream,plan to play, live to learn.
FOMO, fear of missing out.
We've all felt it before,haven't we?
Or known someone who has.
I think it's one of the leadingcauses of the discontent that's
holding us individually and asa society back from experiencing
(00:22):
a lot of the joy that life hasto offer.
Welcome to The Joy fulicityPodcast.
I'm your host, Laura Wakefield.
Okay, listen up, because I'mabout to say something
unpopular.
As much as society and socialmedia wants you to believe that
you can, guess what?
You can't have it all.
(00:44):
You just can't.
There simply isn't enough timeor energy in the world to
accommodate all of thepossibilities.
I'm not saying that you can'thave anything or even that you
can't have a lot of good things,but you can't have everything
and you shouldn't even try tohave or be or do or learn or own
too many things at once.
(01:06):
Why not, right?
We live in a time of greatopportunity.
We have more personal freedomthan ever before in history to
design the lives best suited tous.
We're reminded all the timethat we can be who we want to
be, love who we want to love,and think how we want to think.
That's wonderful, isn't it?
(01:27):
Of course! The television setis also constantly bombarding us
with images of the myriad ofchoices we have in what to buy,
how to dress, what jobs weshould pursue, and the thousand
places we must travel to beforewe die.
Social media gives us an insidelook at the lives of everyone
(01:50):
we know, and even everyone weonly met once casually and never
talked to again in person.
We see the projects they'redoing, the accomplishments of
their children, the trip theyjust took, the wonderful meal
they ate for lunch, and all thecool activities they did this
past weekend.
We hear about their careerpromotions, their fancy new
(02:10):
cars, the long nap they took,the house they just bought, and
the puppy they recently adoptedthat looks so dang adorable.
Reality programs even make usfeel like we're living side by
side with celebrities, arepremier chefs, or can remodel a
whole house in 30 minutes orless.
We love feeling that powerful,even though we surely know it's
(02:35):
mostly made up and not reallyreality at all.
Or do we know that?
Technology allows us to knowabout things happening in the
remotest parts of the planet andintroduces us to far more
information than we can possiblyabsorb, and yet we clamor for
more.
We have access, at leastvirtually, to pretty much
(02:58):
everything life has to offer,but in so many ways, we seem to
feel less satisfied than everbefore.
How can that be?
Shouldn't having moreopportunities laid out before us
mean that we lead an evenricher, fuller life?
Well, in theory, yes, exceptthat we tend to forget that even
(03:21):
with so many options at ourdisposal, we do still have to
choose between them.
When we're exposed to such avast array of wonderful things,
we naturally want them.
All of them.
And this can be a negativething when it causes us to
wallow in jealousy or self-pityor feelings of being less than
(03:43):
by comparison to other people.
It can be a positive thing whenit inspires us to reach higher
or further or shows us ideas wemight otherwise never have
considered.
The hard truth is, though, thatevery time we make a choice, no
matter how big or small, itnecessarily eliminates many
(04:05):
other choices, at least for thatmoment in time.
If you decide to have a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich for
lunch, you can't also have everyother kind of sandwich that
same day.
Your belly couldn't hold itall.
And how silly would it be toresent not having the tuna fish
or the turkey, rather thansimply enjoy the peanut butter
(04:27):
you picked out first?
I mean, you chose it becauseyou liked it, right?
We've been conditioned as asociety, however, to believe
that not only can we have allthings, but that we should have
them and even deserve to havethem all right now.
So rather than rejoice that wehad the rights and abilities to
(04:49):
choose option A, we fret that wedon't also have B and C
simultaneously.
We try to run even faster tomake sure we won't miss out on D
and E.
Meanwhile, option A is oftengetting totally lost in the
effort.
In our exhaustion anddiscontentedness, we can't fully
(05:10):
experience and embrace the goodthings that we do have.
Even when we know that we areenormously blessed, we can still
feel depressed if we witnesssomeone on Facebook basking in a
different set of blessings.
We're always on the lookout forsomething new and better.
And I don't just mean stuffeither.
(05:31):
We do this with experiences,belief systems, jobs, and even
with our relationships.
There is no end to this.
If we somehow managed toaccumulate and juggle options A,
B, C, D, and E, there wouldstill be options F and G to
reach for, even when our handsare already full.
(05:56):
I walked into my closet thismorning, and I put on my current
favorite pair of pants.
They're a soft, comfortable,bright orange, fun pair of
jeans, and I feel fantastic inthese, and they fit me really
well.
But, I mean, I also really likemy yoga pants and my gray work
slacks.
What if I decided to wear thoseover the top of my jeans so
(06:20):
that I could experience allthree of them at once?
For that matter, what if Idecided to put on all of my
pairs of pants today?
I like all of them fordifferent reasons and I don't
really want to have to choosejust one.
Some of the pants in my closetare a little bit too tight,
because I've outgrown them.
(06:40):
But I did love them once upon atime, and I'm not ready to give
them up just yet.
In case I lose a few pounds.
I mean, hey, it can happen,right?
Some of the pants in my closetare a little bit too big.
Some were gifts I never wouldhave picked for myself, but I
probably ought to use them so Idon't hurt the giver's feelings.
(07:02):
Some are trendy, and I'll wearthem because it's the
fashionable thing to do, eventhough I may not personally
think that they're attractive.
Some have sentimental value,hearkening back to another place
and time in my life.
I don't really need themanymore.
I should probably donate themto another person who they would
(07:24):
work better for now, but whatthe heck, I'll just throw all
those pairs of pants on too.
And on my friend's Instagram, Isaw the cutest new shorts that
she just bought at the mall.
So I think I'll go over and getthose and put them on over the
top of all of these others.
And while I'm over there, Iwant to put on every pair of
(07:47):
pants in every single store justin case.
You never know what the daycould bring and I want to be
prepared.
Now that would be ridiculous,right?
I'm going to be far morecomfortable.
just wearing the one pair oforange jeans that I started out
with.
I wouldn't be able to walk oreven breathe if I tried to wear
(08:10):
all the pants in the area, andwhy would I even need to or want
to when my original pair is myfavorite anyway?
Now, of course, I can alwayswear a different pair tomorrow.
I get to choose whether to wearmy few trusted pairs often or
(08:31):
go for variety and change it upevery day.
I also get to decide if I wearwild prints or classic styles,
if I want bootcut or skinny orwool or spandex.
I could theoretically wearhundreds of different pairs of
pants in my lifetime if I'mwilling to pay the price for all
(08:51):
of them.
No matter what, though, therewill be many, many, many pairs
of pants in this world that Inever get to wear.
And that is okay.
It really is.
I just want to be happy andcomfortable in the ones I have
on today.
Now, obviously, I'm not serioustelling this story.
(09:12):
I'm just trying to illustrate apoint.
Dream big! Live large.
Learn something new every day.
I would never say otherwise.
Life is short after all.
Let that possibility overloadbe a source of joy and
direction, but not of stress andworry.
(09:35):
When your pants get dirty ordon't fit anymore or just don't
feel good for whatever reason,You can always swap them out for
a different pair, but one pairat a time.
Or light layers if that's yourthing.
Just not so many that itbecomes cumbersome.
(09:55):
There is great peace to be foundin being truly present in the
choices of today.
Really living with them, inthem, and through them for a
while.
Counting the things that wentright, and living in gratitude
for the bounty that we possess,whatever form that is taking in
(10:18):
our lives at the moment.
We might be young parents athome with children and missing
our freedom.
We might be empty nesters whosekids have grown up and we're
missing the days of havinglittle kids at home.
We might be working a job thatsometimes we feel like we wish
that we could travel more, or wemight be retired and feeling
(10:40):
kind of bored and wishing thatwe had our career back.
No matter what stage of lifewe're in, there's always going
to be something that we'relooking at in someone else's
life that looks interesting.
So it's really important toidentify the blessings of your
life right now today, whateverthey may be, and try to live in
(11:04):
them.
Right now, today, in gratitude.
We don't need to have it all.
All, in truth, would be way tooheavy a burden to carry.
So let that go.
Put on your favorite pair ofjeans and remember that today is
(11:27):
a beautiful day, just as it is.
Thank you for joining me todayon The Joy fulicity Podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode,please like and share and come
follow me on all major socialmedia sites at Joy fulicity, or
on my website, joyfulicity.com.
You can follow the link in thedescription for this episode to
(11:49):
all of the places that we canconnect.
Have a great day, everybody.
And remember, dare to dream,plan to play, live to learn.
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