Why Do I Write About Joy?

This episode gets a little personal, talking about some of the pain in my life that led me to write and speak about joy. 

Episode Transcript

Laura Wakefield (00:08):
This is going to be a bit of a personal
episode today as I share somethings about my life that I
don't ordinarily talk about, butthey have to do with why I
decided to start a podcastfocused around joy.
Welcome to the Joy fulicityPodcast.
I'm your host, Laura Wakefield.
Why do I teach and speak aboutjoy?

(00:30):
The reason is very simple.
Because I personally have knownso much pain.
The deep, soul-crushing kind ofpain that makes you question
everything you know andeverything you are, your values,
your belief system, your verybeing, to the point of wondering
sometimes if life is worthliving at all, if darkness can

(00:53):
come and swallow you whole likethat.
Pain that makes you terrifiedto reach for light and love
because you question if you evendeserve it or whether you would
ever be enough to sustain it.
There's a lot of pain in thisworld.
Sometimes it looks the way thatyou expect it to with people
who are outwardly sad, who arecrying or facing depression,

(01:17):
things that you would expect.
But sometimes it looks like theperson who is happy and smiling
and laughing on social media,presenting a happy life when the
world is falling apart behindthe scenes.
Sometimes it looks like acomedian who cracks jokes.
to cover the sadness.

(01:38):
Sometimes it looks like aplayer or a party girl that's
out running around trying to getlittle hits of something that
feels like happiness so thatthey don't have to hurt so much.
I myself was the victim oflong-term child abuse, carried
out by someone that I shouldhave been able to trust.

(01:58):
Being very young and veryscared, it took me nine years to
summon the courage to finallytell my parents and free myself
of it.
This leaves scars on the mindand on the heart.
I have physical scars, too,from several serious surgeries
with extensive recoveries.
In addition, I've had ninefull-term pregnancies and two

(02:18):
that ended in miscarriage.
Childbirth has brought me tothe highest of highs with the
arrival of each of my amazingchildren.
But it's also plunged me tosome very low lows, also.
My weight and hormones havebeen on a yo-yo string for
years, with the accompanyingpostpartum depression, health
issues, and emotional swings.
I've been married twice, to menthat I loved very much, and my

(02:43):
heart has been shattered as bothof those marriages went down in
the fiery flames of divorce,just as my mom and dad's
marriage had when I was a child.
I've lost a business I workedyears to build.
I've lost money, a lot ofmoney, with comforts and
security vanishing along withit, leaving me often working
multiple jobs at once while alsostruggling to maintain life as

(03:04):
a single mother to a very largefamily.
I've watched as addiction stolethe spark from the eyes of
people that I loved.
A long-held faith died a slow,marching death inside of me, and
honestly, this hurt andconfused me above all else.
Depression has been anoccasional visitor in my life,
and anxiety a near-constantcompanion.

(03:26):
To put decades of pain intosimple words doesn't really do
justice to the powerful emotionsinvolved, but there it is in
black and white.
A lifetime of aching.
And I would imagine thatanybody listening today has a
personal pain paragraph of theirown as well.
Suffering seems to be auniversal experience in all of

(03:48):
its varying forms.
I'm only sharing this today tolet other people know that I've
been right there in the mire ofit too.
I don't tend to talk about itoften because it's not where I
choose to live and it's notwhere I choose to put my focus.
But I do want people tounderstand that I fully know
that life really hurtssometimes.

(04:11):
So why then do I teach andspeak about joy if I've been
through so many difficultthings?
Because while I was on thislong journey through pain, I've
learned that joy is the cure.
Much like sunlight peekingthrough the clouds after a

(04:32):
storm, joy and her sisters,gratitude, love, and enthusiasm
provide a healing balm to awounded soul.
I've also learned that even inthe worst of times, joy is
always present if we have eyesto see it.
Sometimes we just simply haveforgotten how to feel happiness
and need to be reminded.

(04:53):
Sometimes we're seeking it inall the wrong places.
Speaking about joy is my way ofpersonally remaining aware and
open-minded so that I keepnoticing and embracing it
myself.
But it's also my meageroffering of love to the world
and my effort to possibly liftup someone else who is

(05:14):
struggling to stand.
to convey that there's a reasonto hope, to smile and to
breathe.
If I can help even one personto dig deeper into their heart
for that little bit of hope thatwill get them through whatever
they're going through until theycan reach the other side with

(05:39):
some healing and perspective andunderstanding, and help them to
believe that there's joy stillleft to be found in their life,
then that makes everything thatI've been through in my life
worth it.
If I can take the lessons thatI've learned and teach them to
somebody else, it gives all ofthat pain a purpose.

(05:59):
So it's something that I feelvery, very passionate about as I
look around this world and seepain in all of its many forms.
I feel passionate aboutbringing a little bit of light
and a little bit of joy and alittle bit of hope into that
situation.
And I'm excited to be bringingsome guests on very soon that

(06:21):
also have perspectives that leadtoward that same message.
Darkness can truly betransformed into a light-filled
story of joy.
And I look forward to writingit together.
Thank you so much for joiningme today on The Joyfulicity
Podcast.
Just a reminder, dare to dream,plan to play, and live to

(06:45):
learn.