September 12, 2025 • 28 mins
This week, Amy Nelson is back in the studio with me—and we’re talking about something I honestly wish we didn’t have to: the assassination of Charlie Kirk.
Not from a political lens, but from a human one. From the lens of being parents trying to raise kids in a world where violence is live-streamed, group chats move faster than the news cycle, and childhood innocence feels harder and harder to protect.
We talk about:
✨ What it means to have real conversations with our kids about violence and humanity.
✨ The tension between wanting to keep them safe while also telling them the truth.
✨ How we, as parents, are holding the weight of this moment—and why silence isn’t an option.
This isn’t about red vs. blue. It’s about compassion, courage, and community. It’s about asking the hard questions out loud, even when we don’t have the answers.
Take a breath with us. Tune in. And maybe—just maybe—this conversation helps you feel a little less alone in the heaviness of it all.
👉 And if this episode hits home for you, DM me and join the conversation. I want to know how you’re navigating this with your kids, your family, your own heart. Let’s talk about it—together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey there you beautiful badass.
Welcome to the Keri Croft Show.
I'm your host, keri Croft,delivering you stories that get
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(01:55):
Oh my God, you guys I cannot.
When I tell you my arm I can'tlift it Like I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't know if it's frozen shoulder.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I don't know, I cannot lift my arm.
That is crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That's not good.
I start looking like my dad, Iquit playing tennis, I don't
have time, and I've been doingmore lifting again and I
realized I'd like gain 10 poundsplaying tennis and not lifting,
because I was like hungrier andwasn't lifting and I was like I
literally have to lift, youhave to lift, I literally have
to lift, you have to lift.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I mean that's I will fight anyone to the death.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
that you have to lift .
It's just very simple.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You know, the thing about cardio that I wish more
people could understand is thatyou can get cardio in life.
Yeah, you can figure out ways,and I'm not saying not to do.
I do little like intermittentspurts of cardio.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Still, yeah, like I like doing 20 minutes on the
stairwell cardio.
Still like I like doing 20minutes on the stairwell, but
like it's for me, it's because,like I, want to watch a show or
like it's, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But if you're also doing strength training, I don't
want to say the right way, butthe way that I believe I like to
do it it feels like cardio halfthe time anyway it's hard, yeah
, because your heart is likepumping like crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, and I was listening to um this really
awesome expert on mel robbinsabout, like, who studies women's
fitness at Stanford.
I know who you're talking aboutyeah, and she was like women
shouldn't be resting betweensets as much as men.
You gotta go right.
And I was like, oh, that's sointeresting because, like when
Carl and I live together, healways wants to rest forever
between sets.
And I'm like I just want to doit well, but he's also like the
(03:17):
male population.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
they're usually trying to PR and if not PR,
they're going for a very heavyheavy.
So you have to.
Your body is just naturallygoing to have to rest like that.
If you're doing lower weightand it's still high like a high
weight for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right, that's how I am.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You can go higher rep and then that's.
It's a whole different animal.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Like I don't go to failure with everything.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I do, you know what I mean.
Do high weights, but like, yeah, that's, that's what you should
be doing, for sure.
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Amy.
Good morning, Carrie.
Welcome back to the CarrieCroft show.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So happy to be here.
Ask Amy edition.
I mean, I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
It's so fun, I love talking to you.
I could talk forever.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I know, me too, but I really don't love the topic
that we're going to broach hereat the top of the show.
But you know, as we justdiscussed, I feel like it's very
necessary.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
It is because the conversation is happening
everywhere, so we should have ittoo.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We absolutely should and I will reinforce this.
I'm not a political person andthat might drive some people
crazy to hear me say that I justyou know I'm careful around
trying to go too deep into arabbit hole around politics, but
this isn't to me.
you know, the Charlie Kirk thingis not about politics to me as
much as it is humanity Right andour kids you know, and let's
talk about the fact that we livein a world today where, you
(04:39):
know, our kids now havewitnessed an assassination on
YouTube.
Our kids now have witnessed anassassination on YouTube, right?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean that was that.
I mean that's like why this is,at first blush, so important to
talk about.
Like we're both mothers and Iwas.
I was on X, I was scrolling Xyesterday and I hadn't you know.
I just opened up the app on myphone and I saw the video of
Charlie Kirk's murder and I justlet out an involuntary noise
(05:06):
because I'd never seen anythingso shocking.
And I'm 45 years old and myhusband walked out of his office
and he's like what happened andI said Charlie Kirk was
murdered.
My husband's like who is CharlieKirk?
But you know, the murder ofanybody.
Our children shouldn't bewatching it live streamed, right
, and it's.
And we have to address it withthem because they're going to,
and so you have to have thatconversation because otherwise
(05:28):
we live in a world where nothingis real, right, like if they're
seeing, like if we're nottalking about the fact that this
was an actual human who wasmurdered and it was filmed and
that's what you watched andthat's terrifying and
heartbreaking and wrong, thenthey might see Charlie Kirk's
murder and actual person'smurder the same as they, like
saw something that happened inlike K-pop demon hunters, right.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, we're not in a.
This isn't a.
This isn't, like you know so, agame on your computer this is a
real human being.
That was a dad with two littlekids, you know, I mean, it's
just like I, and I guess I'masking for a friend here, right?
So approaches that I like totake on this show and I always
say this whenever it's relevantis I don't have.
I don't get a microphone andturn on my Rodecaster and say
(06:09):
you know, I have all the answers.
It's the opposite I'm in searchof answers, I'm constantly
curious and searching around thehuman condition.
I want to be challenged, I wantto change, I want to evolve and
I want to learn, right, so I'masking for a friend right now.
Where are we as a country, buteven bigger, as a world, where
(06:30):
the idea of pluralism, the ideal, the idea of getting to sit at
a table with someone else andhaving an opposing view, is this
, this threatening, vilescenario that we run away from
as opposed to seeking tounderstand and then be
understood?
Where are we?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I don't know.
We're lost and we're nearlybroken and we are on the brink
is how I feel about it, and it'sreally devastating, and from my
viewpoint, just as a person.
First of all, you know, I grewup here in Columbus, ohio, where
we really are a mix right ofred and blue, and I was taught
by.
I remember asking my parentswhen I was young like what
political party are you in?
(07:11):
And they're like it doesn'tmatter and we'll never tell you.
I was like why?
And they're like because youneed to make your own decisions,
right, that's up to you.
Like it doesn't matter whatwe're in.
But my parents did say weencourage you to think about
policies you care about and notjust, you know, choose one side
or the other.
But we had the conversation.
I grew up having theconversation with friends, with
(07:32):
teachers in school, with myparents, with other adults, and
we always talked and I thoughtthat's what we did, that's how
we learned, that's how we cameto the good ideas, the best
ideas, by taking in differentopinions, right, and figuring
out what the best path was as acompromise or as somewhere in
the middle of those opinions.
And then I moved to New Yorkcity and Seattle places I deeply
(07:55):
loved, but were far less of amix of opinions, more kind of
like one-sided, and I reallyfell prey to it for a long time
too, of like, well, we're right,they're wrong, we're right,
they're wrong.
But that's not how it is right,and our country was based on
this idea of bringing togetherdifferent ideas.
You know Lincoln the famousbook about Lincoln is A Team of
Rivals, because when AbrahamLincoln won the presidency, he
(08:19):
brought his opponents into hiscabinet to provide the best for
this country.
And now we're at a point wherepeople aren't even talking, and
I was telling you about thisearlier, but it blew my mind
this morning, which is one ofthe reasons I think it's so
important to talk about CharlieKirk is.
Last night, when I saw the video, I immediately went to my 11
year old, who was watchingYouTube, and I said have you
(08:39):
seen this?
And she said no, and so wetalked about the assassination
and the horror of the video, thehorror of the act, and I said
to her I go.
I imagine what will happen nowis that people will start a
debate.
That's not really a debate.
Some people will say, well,charlie Kirk was a terrible
person and he brought this uponhimself and some people will say
Charlie Kirk is a hero.
(09:00):
But it doesn't really matterwhat you think about Charlie
Kirk, because the thing thatmatters is that no one deserves
to die for sharing theiropinions Nobody, not in this
country, not anywhere, butcertainly not in this country.
And we talked about that for along time and how political
violence is wrong.
And then this morning she's in agroup chat with a bunch of
(09:21):
fifth graders on her watch andthis morning she was listening.
Kids were going back and forth.
You know Charlie Kirk was bad,Charlie Kirk was good and Sloan
asked me she's like Mom, how didyou know this would happen?
I'm like, because this is whatalways happens right now in this
moment in history.
And Sloan said you think it'sokay if I write like it doesn't
really matter if he was bad orgood.
(09:43):
No one, no one should die fortheir opinion.
And I said go for it.
She wrote, she voiced that intoher watch and then she was
promptly kicked out of the groupchat by another student and it
just broke my heart because, hey, I don't want my daughter to
learn that if you share youropinion, you'll be removed from
the conversation, you know, andthen be.
It broke my heart because whatare other kids doing being told
(10:06):
at home?
Are the schools talking aboutthis at all?
Like it's, it's the idea ofdebate, like I want my daughter
to be around every opinion.
I want her to learn how toprocess, to analyze, to come up
with her own thoughts like what?
Where I ask you back, where arewe?
How do we, how do we come backfrom this?
Can we?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't know and I want, I want people to write in
and talk about it, because youknow, as a parent and just as a
human being and it's not justCharlie Kirk it's like go back,
what last week?
Was it last week or two?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
weeks with the church shooting.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I mean, let's just, there's too many to even name.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Right, I mean even just this past three days, right
, like, yes, charlie Kirk wasmurdered yesterday.
There was also a schoolshooting in Colorado, which
barely got any news, because youknow.
And then two days ago, aUkrainian immigrant who fled the
war was stabbed to death on atrain in Charlotte, north
Carolina, and everybody justwatched it.
No one did anything.
So this is it's overload ofthese horrifying acts.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And so I guess it begs the question.
You know I was walking my sonto school this morning.
You know, sun's out I'm in thislittle perceived safe bubble
emphasis on perceived of upperArlington and just living my
life, drinking my coffee likeraw, dogging it out of a mug
like a serial killer.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I do the same thing I take my mug everywhere.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And so what I started thinking about was are?
I just want to talk to otherparents like are you okay, and
how are you managing this, the,the, the complexity of you know
you're in this safe bubble withyour kids and you're trying to
give them this experience ofchildhood that is, you know,
soft and full of laughter andlunches and story time and
(11:53):
sports, and then you, as theparent, understand the heaviness
and the gravity of the world inwhich we live today and trying
to manage your mental health and, like the thoughts that come
through your head and keep thislike bubble of childhood and
safety intact.
It's a really Herculean taskand it's scary and it's
(12:15):
unprecedented and I don't know.
I just how's everyone doing?
How's everyone doing?
Because this isn't normal, it'snot okay and it's not
sustainable.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's not sustainable.
It is.
It's too hard right Like I thinkthat parents are not okay and I
think you know one thing thatis important is to talk about
how we're not okay, aside fromlike not to get in a political
debate, but to acknowledge thisis a really complicated
landscape that we're navigatingas parents.
It's complicated for our kidsand, you know, one of the ways
(12:49):
that we solve problems is bytalking.
It's like we need to bringpeople back into a conversation.
That's very honest and it can'tbe about take the phones away
from the kids, get them off theInternet.
That's not realistic.
Stop.
This is not the world that welive in.
This is where we are.
It's also, you know, like weneed I'm saying something
political like we need bettergun control, but guns are never
(13:12):
going away.
And if it wasn't guns, likecould it be knives or you know
like, but like we need to talkabout it, like the reality that
we live in, like lay set thetable, say this is where we are,
what do we do, how do weprotect each other?
And maybe, if we're havingthose conversations and we're
having those conversations withkids, we all become more
protected because we know peoplegive a shit and it won't happen
(13:32):
as much.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
And back on the Charlie Kirk thing, I'm just,
I'm not surprised at theresponses.
You know, just like you said,there's going to be people that
say he's a hero and that sayhe's a villain.
But I just can never get downwith or understand cheering or
feeling some sort of happinessaround the demise of another
(13:55):
human being and then don't youunderstand that, like what
you're trying to do?
So whoever this person, thiscoward, was with this gun
standing up for quote, unquote,whatever they think they were
standing up for, you justgalvanized an entire group of
people.
You just poked the bear in away that, like now, he's going
(14:15):
to be revered, lionized, and weknow what happens.
And so the opposite effect isgoing just watch it.
The ripple effect of this isgoing to be completely opposite
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Speaker 2 (15:42):
A hundred percent and it is like it's so
short-sighted right, like it's,you know, martinuther king jr
when he was assassinated.
What happened is that theleaders of the civil rights
movement were able to getthrough a ton of legislation
that had been very controversial, very uncertain if it would
pass, and the response to thenational grieving over mlk dying
(16:04):
was a groundswell of supportfor this legislation.
That changed america and andand so it's like.
But if, if they wanted to killMLK, to kill the civil rights
movement, they galvanized thecivil rights movement to your
exact point.
That is like we've seen it inhistory and it will play out
again and I don't know how inthis particular case.
Um, I don't know how, but Ihope you know.
(16:26):
What we can try to do again ishave a conversation.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
And whether you agree with that guy or not, and there
were multiple times I was veryfamiliar with who he was and I
would watch here and therewhether it was on YouTube and he
would get fed or something andI was just always struck with
how articulate he was and howwell he was able to open
dialogue and just he didn't care.
He was like I'm going to justget the microphone, let's have a
(16:51):
conversation, and so, whetheryou agree with his opinions or
not, like, push away hisopinions.
That format and infrastructureis what made our country great
is having a debate around thingsyou care about, so plug in
whatever you're debating about.
So are we, are we not allowedto do that?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
anymore.
My dad was saying some peopleare saying that Charlie Kirk is
a victim of the politicalatmosphere.
He created the very divisiveatmosphere.
My dad said what do you thinkabout that?
And I was like that's just sucha nice way to invite a
conversation instead of saying,instead of my dad declaring that
was his opinion, shutting itdown, making me feel aggressive
or like I couldn't say anything,and it was like that.
(17:33):
It's something as simple asthat.
And I feel like we I feel likea lot of adults have forgotten
that as a tool and we're notteaching our kids that as a tool
.
No, what do you think aboutthat?
Like I want to hear youropinion and I'm not then ready
to jump down your throat, tojump down your throat.
And it was really like, yeah, Iwas listening to a clip where
(17:54):
Charlie Kirk was talking to acollege student who identified
as a man who hadn't, you know,gone under any like transitional
surgeries or anything.
But they were having a greatconversation with Charlie and
Charlie was like are youcomfortable telling me your
story, are you?
And he was asking him suchgreat questions with such
respect and at the end he saidsomething that you know I didn't
(18:15):
love.
Charlie said like my hope foryou is that you feel comfortable
in the gender you were born in.
And I didn't love that as theend of the conversation, but
they had a dialogue and Charlieinvited this person to share
their opinions and they talkedand the person felt heard, right
, right and like that.
That's the debate.
And whether you loved or hatedCharlie Kirk, the thing that he
(18:36):
did was actually reallyimportant in America because, at
a time when a lot of our youthare opting out of the Democratic
experiment of like not voting,not knocking doors, not showing
up for reasons which Iunderstand in a lot of ways he
was Charlie Kirk was going tocollege campuses drawing massive
crowds simply to debate, tohave a conversation, you know,
(19:01):
and and he did.
And that's important because hewas, he was someone who believed
in debate.
He said we are allowed todebate, and not only that, but
like come on up if you want to,if you want to have a different
opinion than me, you get to thefront of the line and like that.
That is so important.
And now will we have less ofthat because of Charlie Kirk's
murder?
Because that's a loss forAmerica?
(19:21):
And the other thing is, youknow, I think our politicians
and our political leaders,whether they're in office or not
, are going to retreat.
They'll get more security.
They'll become more distantfrom the people they're meant to
represent and talk to and learnfrom, and that is a huge loss.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, I just I think about it and I'm like what is if
things keep going the waythey're going?
What is 20 years from now?
Look like, keep going the waythey're going.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What does 20 years from now look like?
It doesn't look like a republic, it doesn't look like a
democracy.
I don't know what it is, butit's not an exchange of ideas
and that's what our country wasfounded upon.
I don't know, and there's partof me, you know, like in this
mix of emotions, you know, lastnight my heart, part of me, was
(20:14):
like I just want to protect mychildren and I hate all of this
and I can't deal with any of itand I want to move to the
country or an island andhomeschool them and shut down
and just say we're out.
And then there was another partof me that felt like my God,
more of us need to be like thiskid and go out and have public
conversations, no matter howafraid we are, no matter how
many people will disagree withus, and we just need to do it.
You know, I used to be reallyinvolved in politics and part of
(20:37):
one party, very vocal, raised aton of money.
I now consider myselfpostpartisan because I just
don't think either party does agreat job of representing people
.
But it's interesting.
I'm actually afraid to even saythat because I'm afraid people
will come for me if I say thatand I feel pretty comfortable
debating people, but like I'mjust tired.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah, and they will come for you.
They're leaning really heavilytowards the Democratic side
again.
Oh wait, you know what I am nowa Republican Like?
Or hey, I'm postpartisan,You're going to get eaten alive,
no matter what.
So it's like what are I mean?
I am truly at a loss.
(21:18):
I think it may be because I andI did watch it over and over
again- last night like the partwhere he got shot.
No, no, no, I did.
I mean, and that's what I wouldjust like pause for a moment
world and I know like that isthe.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
it's a natural instinct to do that, but we, we
cannot, we cannot.
I just hope they take the video.
You can't scrub a video fromthe Internet, but it is too much
, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
And so then I was like you know, you just think
about not only our kids watchingthat, but his children, his
wife, the people in his littlecorner of the world who saw him
as a soul soul, a living,breathing human being with flaws
and, you know, loved him forwho he was.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean, imagine if that was your.
No, I can't even.
Or your brother like.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I can't and I just I guess I am.
I just see people out there whoI I think are otherwise
intelligent, loving people, whoI you know, I yeah, you're
probably a pretty good personand they're.
They're trying to sort of fitthis in a box where it was okay
because their political viewsare so far left.
Yeah, and I'm like that.
No, don't put a social, don'tdo not put a social media post
(22:29):
out this morning.
That's trying to caveat which.
I saw this from a couple ofvery prominent people on the
left.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, I've seen it from more than a few.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Shannon Watts being one, you don't have to say any.
Oh, by the way, I know he was ahuman being, but this also can
be true, the duality of no,because you could be considered
an extremist on the left.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Right.
And the thing is, if we acceptpolitical violence in any form,
we accept it in all, and then weare fucked If that would have
been somebody on the left thatgot shot.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Are you kidding me?
Hell hath no fury.
And again, I'm not one of the.
I am someone who just wants Tolive in a world where you know.
I'm not trying to say, I'manything, I'm independent and I
am very disappointed anddisenchanted with all of it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
That's what I am.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
But I also, you know, don't don't put posts out
trying to caveat the fact thatit was OK that this person was
assassinated in a public forumbecause you don't believe in his
and he was an extremist and hewas creating wreaking havoc in
the world, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Well, the thing is, if you're, here's the thing.
If you're saying that CharlieKirk brought this upon himself
because of his views, you aresaying we can't debate.
You are saying we cannot havethe full spectrum of views in
this country.
You are saying that it is OK tobe the opposite of what our
founding fathers created thiscountry for.
You are saying, no, we cannotdebate.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
And that goes for your side too.
Right created this country foryou are saying no, we cannot
debate, and that goes for yourside too, right?
You know that it's, it's, it's,it's just it's incredible to me
.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
I, when I practiced law, when I started out of law
school, I worked for thisincredible lawyer named Floyd
Abrams and he's very progressiveand he was a First Amendment
lawyer and he took on, like thePentagon Papers, when, when
Nixon was, you know, beingkicked out of office.
But he said to me you know,because you could think, if
you're going to work for FloydAbrams, you're going to be doing
all of this amazing FirstAmendment work and it will be
(24:22):
very progressive.
But he said to me at lunch, hetook me to lunch and he said if
you're going to work with me,you have to promise me that you
will defend the rights of theKKK to speak just as much as any
cause you care about or thinkis right.
And I had to sit with that.
But that's the American promiseand if you condone Charlie's
(24:43):
murder, you are shooting thatpromise down for all of us.
Yeah, it's not OK.
No, it's not.
And it is very brave todisagree with everything he says
and condemn his murder.
And for every progressive outthere, barack Obama did that,
bill Clinton did that, yourpresidents did that, you know
your leaders.
And that's what we should allbe doing.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
No, I totally agree.
So, yeah, if you're listeningto this and you have an opinion
or you're feeling a certain typeof way, just reach out.
I do feel like you know, inthis micro forum here on Ask Amy
, let's have a conversation,because I know I'm feeling the
weight and the heaviness of,just like I said, of managing
these two different pieces oflife.
Yeah, the, you know, trying tokeep your kids safe and in this
(25:29):
little I don't even want to callit make-believe world, but like
what is childhood right, andthen this heaviness of, oh my
God, what the hell?
And so I don't know.
We're in it together and we canall share and learn from each
other.
And, um, I promise it will notbe a political conversation and
it's.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
There's one thing I wanted to say, because I think I
think about this a lot, becauseI'm like, oh, it's so hard to
be a parent today.
And then I'm like, well, in1850 they dealt with disease and
you know, in 1940 they weredealing with wars, but like
those were these great bigcollective enemies that we kind
of understood and we're dealingwith.
I feel like now like we don'teven really know what the enemy
(26:06):
is or where it is, because it'sso random and it's.
And how, how can you preparefor it in that way?
No, it's elusive, it's elusiveand it's elusive.
And so I think I do thinkconversations, talking,
parenting as villages, we're allgoing to do humanity.
It's not about a politicalanything.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And it's about surviving and trying to thrive
through the realities andcomplexities of the world that
we live in.
So like.
This isn't a place where it'slike oh you're a Republican,
fuck you.
Or oh you're a Democrat, eatshit.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I don't care, I don't give a shit, I'm not going to
spend my day on red blue,whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I'm going to spend my day trying to improve the
atmosphere collectively, gettingvery honest and real around how
people are feeling and how canwe we are I mean, come on, we
can do better.
We all have greatness inside.
We do.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And we need to call upon it and have the moral
courage to stand together andtalk and make it better.
No one else is going to do it,and if you are a parent that
gives a shit about your kids,stand up.
It's time Like there's no more.
There's no more ignoring it.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Maybe we should have a little I don't know in-person
meetup, who knows?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Who knows, I would love to do that.
I was thinking the same thing.
Who knows what we're full of?
Full of opinions.
Thank you, amy.
Oh, my gosh, thank you, it's apleasure.
At least we get to talk to eachother.
No, I agree.
Like that's the thing youalways lift me up.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You either lift me up or you expand my horizons.
You do something, it's alwayspositive.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And if you're still out there following your girl,
follow me on YouTube, spotify,apple or wherever you get your
podcasts.
And until next time, take adeep breath.
Let's love each other and keepmoving baby.
Hey there you beautiful badass.
Welcome to the Keri Croft Show.
I'm your host, keri Croft,delivering you stories that get
you pumped up and feeling likethe unstoppable savage that you
are.
So grab your coffee, put onyour game face and let's do this
thing, baby.
Face and let's do this thing,baby.
(00:31):
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(01:55):
Oh my God, you guys I cannot.
When I tell you my arm I can'tlift it Like I.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't know if it's frozen shoulder.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I don't know, I cannot lift my arm.
That is crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That's not good.
I start looking like my dad, Iquit playing tennis, I don't
have time, and I've been doingmore lifting again and I
realized I'd like gain 10 poundsplaying tennis and not lifting,
because I was like hungrier andwasn't lifting and I was like I
literally have to lift, youhave to lift, I literally have
to lift, you have to lift.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I mean that's I will fight anyone to the death.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
that you have to lift .
It's just very simple.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
You know, the thing about cardio that I wish more
people could understand is thatyou can get cardio in life.
Yeah, you can figure out ways,and I'm not saying not to do.
I do little like intermittentspurts of cardio.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Still, yeah, like I like doing 20 minutes on the
stairwell cardio.
Still like I like doing 20minutes on the stairwell, but
like it's for me, it's because,like I, want to watch a show or
like it's, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But if you're also doing strength training, I don't
want to say the right way, butthe way that I believe I like to
do it it feels like cardio halfthe time anyway it's hard, yeah
, because your heart is likepumping like crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, and I was listening to um this really
awesome expert on mel robbinsabout, like, who studies women's
fitness at Stanford.
I know who you're talking aboutyeah, and she was like women
shouldn't be resting betweensets as much as men.
You gotta go right.
And I was like, oh, that's sointeresting because, like when
Carl and I live together, healways wants to rest forever
between sets.
And I'm like I just want to doit well, but he's also like the
(03:17):
male population.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
they're usually trying to PR and if not PR,
they're going for a very heavyheavy.
So you have to.
Your body is just naturallygoing to have to rest like that.
If you're doing lower weightand it's still high like a high
weight for you.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Right, that's how I am.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You can go higher rep and then that's.
It's a whole different animal.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Like I don't go to failure with everything.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I do, you know what I mean.
Do high weights, but like, yeah, that's, that's what you should
be doing, for sure.
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Amy.
Good morning, Carrie.
Welcome back to the CarrieCroft show.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So happy to be here.
Ask Amy edition.
I mean, I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
It's so fun, I love talking to you.
I could talk forever.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I know, me too, but I really don't love the topic
that we're going to broach hereat the top of the show.
But you know, as we justdiscussed, I feel like it's very
necessary.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
It is because the conversation is happening
everywhere, so we should have ittoo.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We absolutely should and I will reinforce this.
I'm not a political person andthat might drive some people
crazy to hear me say that I justyou know I'm careful around
trying to go too deep into arabbit hole around politics, but
this isn't to me.
you know, the Charlie Kirk thingis not about politics to me as
much as it is humanity Right andour kids you know, and let's
talk about the fact that we livein a world today where, you
(04:39):
know, our kids now havewitnessed an assassination on
YouTube.
Our kids now have witnessed anassassination on YouTube, right?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I mean that was that.
I mean that's like why this is,at first blush, so important to
talk about.
Like we're both mothers and Iwas.
I was on X, I was scrolling Xyesterday and I hadn't you know.
I just opened up the app on myphone and I saw the video of
Charlie Kirk's murder and I justlet out an involuntary noise
(05:06):
because I'd never seen anythingso shocking.
And I'm 45 years old and myhusband walked out of his office
and he's like what happened andI said Charlie Kirk was
murdered.
My husband's like who is CharlieKirk?
But you know, the murder ofanybody.
Our children shouldn't bewatching it live streamed, right
, and it's.
And we have to address it withthem because they're going to,
and so you have to have thatconversation because otherwise
(05:28):
we live in a world where nothingis real, right, like if they're
seeing, like if we're nottalking about the fact that this
was an actual human who wasmurdered and it was filmed and
that's what you watched andthat's terrifying and
heartbreaking and wrong, thenthey might see Charlie Kirk's
murder and actual person'smurder the same as they, like
saw something that happened inlike K-pop demon hunters, right.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, we're not in a.
This isn't a.
This isn't, like you know so, agame on your computer this is a
real human being.
That was a dad with two littlekids, you know, I mean, it's
just like I, and I guess I'masking for a friend here, right?
So approaches that I like totake on this show and I always
say this whenever it's relevantis I don't have.
I don't get a microphone andturn on my Rodecaster and say
(06:09):
you know, I have all the answers.
It's the opposite I'm in searchof answers, I'm constantly
curious and searching around thehuman condition.
I want to be challenged, I wantto change, I want to evolve and
I want to learn, right, so I'masking for a friend right now.
Where are we as a country, buteven bigger, as a world, where
(06:30):
the idea of pluralism, the ideal, the idea of getting to sit at
a table with someone else andhaving an opposing view, is this
, this threatening, vilescenario that we run away from
as opposed to seeking tounderstand and then be
understood?
Where are we?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I don't know.
We're lost and we're nearlybroken and we are on the brink
is how I feel about it, and it'sreally devastating, and from my
viewpoint, just as a person.
First of all, you know, I grewup here in Columbus, ohio, where
we really are a mix right ofred and blue, and I was taught
by.
I remember asking my parentswhen I was young like what
political party are you in?
(07:11):
And they're like it doesn'tmatter and we'll never tell you.
I was like why?
And they're like because youneed to make your own decisions,
right, that's up to you.
Like it doesn't matter whatwe're in.
But my parents did say weencourage you to think about
policies you care about and notjust, you know, choose one side
or the other.
But we had the conversation.
I grew up having theconversation with friends, with
(07:32):
teachers in school, with myparents, with other adults, and
we always talked and I thoughtthat's what we did, that's how
we learned, that's how we cameto the good ideas, the best
ideas, by taking in differentopinions, right, and figuring
out what the best path was as acompromise or as somewhere in
the middle of those opinions.
And then I moved to New Yorkcity and Seattle places I deeply
(07:55):
loved, but were far less of amix of opinions, more kind of
like one-sided, and I reallyfell prey to it for a long time
too, of like, well, we're right,they're wrong, we're right,
they're wrong.
But that's not how it is right,and our country was based on
this idea of bringing togetherdifferent ideas.
You know Lincoln the famousbook about Lincoln is A Team of
Rivals, because when AbrahamLincoln won the presidency, he
(08:19):
brought his opponents into hiscabinet to provide the best for
this country.
And now we're at a point wherepeople aren't even talking, and
I was telling you about thisearlier, but it blew my mind
this morning, which is one ofthe reasons I think it's so
important to talk about CharlieKirk is.
Last night, when I saw the video, I immediately went to my 11
year old, who was watchingYouTube, and I said have you
(08:39):
seen this?
And she said no, and so wetalked about the assassination
and the horror of the video, thehorror of the act, and I said
to her I go.
I imagine what will happen nowis that people will start a
debate.
That's not really a debate.
Some people will say, well,charlie Kirk was a terrible
person and he brought this uponhimself and some people will say
Charlie Kirk is a hero.
(09:00):
But it doesn't really matterwhat you think about Charlie
Kirk, because the thing thatmatters is that no one deserves
to die for sharing theiropinions Nobody, not in this
country, not anywhere, butcertainly not in this country.
And we talked about that for along time and how political
violence is wrong.
And then this morning she's in agroup chat with a bunch of
(09:21):
fifth graders on her watch andthis morning she was listening.
Kids were going back and forth.
You know Charlie Kirk was bad,Charlie Kirk was good and Sloan
asked me she's like Mom, how didyou know this would happen?
I'm like, because this is whatalways happens right now in this
moment in history.
And Sloan said you think it'sokay if I write like it doesn't
really matter if he was bad orgood.
(09:43):
No one, no one should die fortheir opinion.
And I said go for it.
She wrote, she voiced that intoher watch and then she was
promptly kicked out of the groupchat by another student and it
just broke my heart because, hey, I don't want my daughter to
learn that if you share youropinion, you'll be removed from
the conversation, you know, andthen be.
It broke my heart because whatare other kids doing being told
(10:06):
at home?
Are the schools talking aboutthis at all?
Like it's, it's the idea ofdebate, like I want my daughter
to be around every opinion.
I want her to learn how toprocess, to analyze, to come up
with her own thoughts like what?
Where I ask you back, where arewe?
How do we, how do we come backfrom this?
Can we?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't know and I want, I want people to write in
and talk about it, because youknow, as a parent and just as a
human being and it's not justCharlie Kirk it's like go back,
what last week?
Was it last week or two?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
weeks with the church shooting.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I mean, let's just, there's too many to even name.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Right, I mean even just this past three days, right
, like, yes, charlie Kirk wasmurdered yesterday.
There was also a schoolshooting in Colorado, which
barely got any news, because youknow.
And then two days ago, aUkrainian immigrant who fled the
war was stabbed to death on atrain in Charlotte, north
Carolina, and everybody justwatched it.
No one did anything.
So this is it's overload ofthese horrifying acts.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
And so I guess it begs the question.
You know I was walking my sonto school this morning.
You know, sun's out I'm in thislittle perceived safe bubble
emphasis on perceived of upperArlington and just living my
life, drinking my coffee likeraw, dogging it out of a mug
like a serial killer.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I do the same thing I take my mug everywhere.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And so what I started thinking about was are?
I just want to talk to otherparents like are you okay, and
how are you managing this, the,the, the complexity of you know
you're in this safe bubble withyour kids and you're trying to
give them this experience ofchildhood that is, you know,
soft and full of laughter andlunches and story time and
(11:53):
sports, and then you, as theparent, understand the heaviness
and the gravity of the world inwhich we live today and trying
to manage your mental health and, like the thoughts that come
through your head and keep thislike bubble of childhood and
safety intact.
It's a really Herculean taskand it's scary and it's
(12:15):
unprecedented and I don't know.
I just how's everyone doing?
How's everyone doing?
Because this isn't normal, it'snot okay and it's not
sustainable.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's not sustainable.
It is.
It's too hard right Like I thinkthat parents are not okay and I
think you know one thing thatis important is to talk about
how we're not okay, aside fromlike not to get in a political
debate, but to acknowledge thisis a really complicated
landscape that we're navigatingas parents.
It's complicated for our kidsand, you know, one of the ways
(12:49):
that we solve problems is bytalking.
It's like we need to bringpeople back into a conversation.
That's very honest and it can'tbe about take the phones away
from the kids, get them off theInternet.
That's not realistic.
Stop.
This is not the world that welive in.
This is where we are.
It's also, you know, like weneed I'm saying something
political like we need bettergun control, but guns are never
(13:12):
going away.
And if it wasn't guns, likecould it be knives or you know
like, but like we need to talkabout it, like the reality that
we live in, like lay set thetable, say this is where we are,
what do we do, how do weprotect each other?
And maybe, if we're havingthose conversations and we're
having those conversations withkids, we all become more
protected because we know peoplegive a shit and it won't happen
(13:32):
as much.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
And back on the Charlie Kirk thing, I'm just,
I'm not surprised at theresponses.
You know, just like you said,there's going to be people that
say he's a hero and that sayhe's a villain.
But I just can never get downwith or understand cheering or
feeling some sort of happinessaround the demise of another
(13:55):
human being and then don't youunderstand that, like what
you're trying to do?
So whoever this person, thiscoward, was with this gun
standing up for quote, unquote,whatever they think they were
standing up for, you justgalvanized an entire group of
people.
You just poked the bear in away that, like now, he's going
(14:15):
to be revered, lionized, and weknow what happens.
And so the opposite effect isgoing just watch it.
The ripple effect of this isgoing to be completely opposite
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Speaker 2 (15:42):
A hundred percent and it is like it's so
short-sighted right, like it's,you know, martinuther king jr
when he was assassinated.
What happened is that theleaders of the civil rights
movement were able to getthrough a ton of legislation
that had been very controversial, very uncertain if it would
pass, and the response to thenational grieving over mlk dying
(16:04):
was a groundswell of supportfor this legislation.
That changed america and andand so it's like.
But if, if they wanted to killMLK, to kill the civil rights
movement, they galvanized thecivil rights movement to your
exact point.
That is like we've seen it inhistory and it will play out
again and I don't know how inthis particular case.
Um, I don't know how, but Ihope you know.
(16:26):
What we can try to do again ishave a conversation.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
And whether you agree with that guy or not, and there
were multiple times I was veryfamiliar with who he was and I
would watch here and therewhether it was on YouTube and he
would get fed or something andI was just always struck with
how articulate he was and howwell he was able to open
dialogue and just he didn't care.
He was like I'm going to justget the microphone, let's have a
(16:51):
conversation, and so, whetheryou agree with his opinions or
not, like, push away hisopinions.
That format and infrastructureis what made our country great
is having a debate around thingsyou care about, so plug in
whatever you're debating about.
So are we, are we not allowedto do that?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
anymore.
My dad was saying some peopleare saying that Charlie Kirk is
a victim of the politicalatmosphere.
He created the very divisiveatmosphere.
My dad said what do you thinkabout that?
And I was like that's just sucha nice way to invite a
conversation instead of saying,instead of my dad declaring that
was his opinion, shutting itdown, making me feel aggressive
or like I couldn't say anything,and it was like that.
(17:33):
It's something as simple asthat.
And I feel like we I feel likea lot of adults have forgotten
that as a tool and we're notteaching our kids that as a tool
.
No, what do you think aboutthat?
Like I want to hear youropinion and I'm not then ready
to jump down your throat, tojump down your throat.
And it was really like, yeah, Iwas listening to a clip where
(17:54):
Charlie Kirk was talking to acollege student who identified
as a man who hadn't, you know,gone under any like transitional
surgeries or anything.
But they were having a greatconversation with Charlie and
Charlie was like are youcomfortable telling me your
story, are you?
And he was asking him suchgreat questions with such
respect and at the end he saidsomething that you know I didn't
(18:15):
love.
Charlie said like my hope foryou is that you feel comfortable
in the gender you were born in.
And I didn't love that as theend of the conversation, but
they had a dialogue and Charlieinvited this person to share
their opinions and they talkedand the person felt heard, right
, right and like that.
That's the debate.
And whether you loved or hatedCharlie Kirk, the thing that he
(18:36):
did was actually reallyimportant in America because, at
a time when a lot of our youthare opting out of the Democratic
experiment of like not voting,not knocking doors, not showing
up for reasons which Iunderstand in a lot of ways he
was Charlie Kirk was going tocollege campuses drawing massive
crowds simply to debate, tohave a conversation, you know,
(19:01):
and and he did.
And that's important because hewas, he was someone who believed
in debate.
He said we are allowed todebate, and not only that, but
like come on up if you want to,if you want to have a different
opinion than me, you get to thefront of the line and like that.
That is so important.
And now will we have less ofthat because of Charlie Kirk's
murder?
Because that's a loss forAmerica?
(19:21):
And the other thing is, youknow, I think our politicians
and our political leaders,whether they're in office or not
, are going to retreat.
They'll get more security.
They'll become more distantfrom the people they're meant to
represent and talk to and learnfrom, and that is a huge loss.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, I just I think about it and I'm like what is if
things keep going the waythey're going?
What is 20 years from now?
Look like, keep going the waythey're going.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What does 20 years from now look like?
It doesn't look like a republic, it doesn't look like a
democracy.
I don't know what it is, butit's not an exchange of ideas
and that's what our country wasfounded upon.
I don't know, and there's partof me, you know, like in this
mix of emotions, you know, lastnight my heart, part of me, was
(20:14):
like I just want to protect mychildren and I hate all of this
and I can't deal with any of itand I want to move to the
country or an island andhomeschool them and shut down
and just say we're out.
And then there was another partof me that felt like my God,
more of us need to be like thiskid and go out and have public
conversations, no matter howafraid we are, no matter how
many people will disagree withus, and we just need to do it.
You know, I used to be reallyinvolved in politics and part of
(20:37):
one party, very vocal, raised aton of money.
I now consider myselfpostpartisan because I just
don't think either party does agreat job of representing people
.
But it's interesting.
I'm actually afraid to even saythat because I'm afraid people
will come for me if I say thatand I feel pretty comfortable
debating people, but like I'mjust tired.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah, and they will come for you.
They're leaning really heavilytowards the Democratic side
again.
Oh wait, you know what I am nowa Republican Like?
Or hey, I'm postpartisan,You're going to get eaten alive,
no matter what.
So it's like what are I mean?
I am truly at a loss.
(21:18):
I think it may be because I andI did watch it over and over
again- last night like the partwhere he got shot.
No, no, no, I did.
I mean, and that's what I wouldjust like pause for a moment
world and I know like that isthe.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
it's a natural instinct to do that, but we, we
cannot, we cannot.
I just hope they take the video.
You can't scrub a video fromthe Internet, but it is too much
, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
And so then I was like you know, you just think
about not only our kids watchingthat, but his children, his
wife, the people in his littlecorner of the world who saw him
as a soul soul, a living,breathing human being with flaws
and, you know, loved him forwho he was.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean, imagine if that was your.
No, I can't even.
Or your brother like.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I can't and I just I guess I am.
I just see people out there whoI I think are otherwise
intelligent, loving people, whoI you know, I yeah, you're
probably a pretty good personand they're.
They're trying to sort of fitthis in a box where it was okay
because their political viewsare so far left.
Yeah, and I'm like that.
No, don't put a social, don'tdo not put a social media post
(22:29):
out this morning.
That's trying to caveat which.
I saw this from a couple ofvery prominent people on the
left.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, I've seen it from more than a few.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Shannon Watts being one, you don't have to say any.
Oh, by the way, I know he was ahuman being, but this also can
be true, the duality of no,because you could be considered
an extremist on the left.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Right.
And the thing is, if we acceptpolitical violence in any form,
we accept it in all, and then weare fucked If that would have
been somebody on the left thatgot shot.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Are you kidding me?
Hell hath no fury.
And again, I'm not one of the.
I am someone who just wants Tolive in a world where you know.
I'm not trying to say, I'manything, I'm independent and I
am very disappointed anddisenchanted with all of it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
That's what I am.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
But I also, you know, don't don't put posts out
trying to caveat the fact thatit was OK that this person was
assassinated in a public forumbecause you don't believe in his
and he was an extremist and hewas creating wreaking havoc in
the world, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Well, the thing is, if you're, here's the thing.
If you're saying that CharlieKirk brought this upon himself
because of his views, you aresaying we can't debate.
You are saying we cannot havethe full spectrum of views in
this country.
You are saying that it is OK tobe the opposite of what our
founding fathers created thiscountry for.
You are saying, no, we cannotdebate.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
And that goes for your side too.
Right created this country foryou are saying no, we cannot
debate, and that goes for yourside too, right?
You know that it's, it's, it's,it's just it's incredible to me
.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
I, when I practiced law, when I started out of law
school, I worked for thisincredible lawyer named Floyd
Abrams and he's very progressiveand he was a First Amendment
lawyer and he took on, like thePentagon Papers, when, when
Nixon was, you know, beingkicked out of office.
But he said to me you know,because you could think, if
you're going to work for FloydAbrams, you're going to be doing
all of this amazing FirstAmendment work and it will be
(24:22):
very progressive.
But he said to me at lunch, hetook me to lunch and he said if
you're going to work with me,you have to promise me that you
will defend the rights of theKKK to speak just as much as any
cause you care about or thinkis right.
And I had to sit with that.
But that's the American promiseand if you condone Charlie's
(24:43):
murder, you are shooting thatpromise down for all of us.
Yeah, it's not OK.
No, it's not.
And it is very brave todisagree with everything he says
and condemn his murder.
And for every progressive outthere, barack Obama did that,
bill Clinton did that, yourpresidents did that, you know
your leaders.
And that's what we should allbe doing.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
No, I totally agree.
So, yeah, if you're listeningto this and you have an opinion
or you're feeling a certain typeof way, just reach out.
I do feel like you know, inthis micro forum here on Ask Amy
, let's have a conversation,because I know I'm feeling the
weight and the heaviness of,just like I said, of managing
these two different pieces oflife.
Yeah, the, you know, trying tokeep your kids safe and in this
(25:29):
little I don't even want to callit make-believe world, but like
what is childhood right, andthen this heaviness of, oh my
God, what the hell?
And so I don't know.
We're in it together and we canall share and learn from each
other.
And, um, I promise it will notbe a political conversation and
it's.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
There's one thing I wanted to say, because I think I
think about this a lot, becauseI'm like, oh, it's so hard to
be a parent today.
And then I'm like, well, in1850 they dealt with disease and
you know, in 1940 they weredealing with wars, but like
those were these great bigcollective enemies that we kind
of understood and we're dealingwith.
I feel like now like we don'teven really know what the enemy
(26:06):
is or where it is, because it'sso random and it's.
And how, how can you preparefor it in that way?
No, it's elusive, it's elusiveand it's elusive.
And so I think I do thinkconversations, talking,
parenting as villages, we're allgoing to do humanity.
It's not about a politicalanything.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And it's about surviving and trying to thrive
through the realities andcomplexities of the world that
we live in.
So like.
This isn't a place where it'slike oh you're a Republican,
fuck you.
Or oh you're a Democrat, eatshit.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I don't care, I don't give a shit, I'm not going to
spend my day on red blue,whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I'm going to spend my day trying to improve the
atmosphere collectively, gettingvery honest and real around how
people are feeling and how canwe we are I mean, come on, we
can do better.
We all have greatness inside.
We do.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
And we need to call upon it and have the moral
courage to stand together andtalk and make it better.
No one else is going to do it,and if you are a parent that
gives a shit about your kids,stand up.
It's time Like there's no more.
There's no more ignoring it.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Maybe we should have a little I don't know in-person
meetup, who knows?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Who knows, I would love to do that.
I was thinking the same thing.
Who knows what we're full of?
Full of opinions.
Thank you, amy.
Oh, my gosh, thank you, it's apleasure.
At least we get to talk to eachother.
No, I agree.
Like that's the thing youalways lift me up.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You either lift me up or you expand my horizons.
You do something, it's alwayspositive.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And if you're still out there following your girl,
follow me on YouTube, spotify,apple or wherever you get your
podcasts.
And until next time, take adeep breath.
Let's love each other and keepmoving baby.
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