January 28, 2024 • 32 mins
Have you ever grasped a book that felt like a key to unlocking the secrets of your heart? That's the treasure Dr. Heather Browne brings to us, blending her expertise as a psychotherapist with the soulful touch of a poet to navigate the complexities of love, communication, and intimacy. Our conversation is a journey through the emotional landscape of relationships, facing the trials of hurt and deceit head-on. Dr. Browne's anticipation for her new book, Speaking With The Heart is contagious, and her guide promises practical wisdom for anyone looking to strengthen their bonds with others.
When was the last time you were able to feel someone's pain without having lived it yourself? This episode reveals the transformative power of compassion over empathy. Dr. Browne shares a personal tale of comforting her mother that tugs at the heartstrings, illustrating how our presence can be a beacon of hope in another's darkness. We dissect the nuances that differentiate empathy from compassion and how embracing the latter can change our lives. This segment of our dialogue is an invitation to honor the unique realities we each inhabit, fostering a connection beyond mere understanding.
To wrap up, we ponder the profound influence of leading with compassion in our daily interactions. Dr. Browne and I look at the world through a lens of kindness, considering how a simple shift from ego to heart can profoundly impact our lives and the lives of those around us. Before we part, I leave you with a challenge: to become an advocate for joy in your community, to celebrate the triumphs of friends and strangers alike, and to freely distribute compliments that might just make someone's day. Dr. Browne's insights are more than just food for thought—they're a call to action for anyone seeking to infuse their week with a spirit of generosity.
Doctor Browne's Social Links
Facebook
LinkedIn
Instagram
Tik Tok
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mike Rathbun (00:00):
This podcast is part of the Deluxe Edition
Network.
To find other great shows onthe network, head over to
deluxeeditionnetworkcom.
That's deluxeeditionnetworkcom.
Dr. Heather Browne (00:14):
Kindness, we see it all around us.
We see it when someone pays forsomeone else's coffee or holds
the door open for another person.
We see it in the smallest ofgestures, like a smile or a kind
word.
But it's different when we turnon the news or social media.
Oftentimes what we hear aboutwhat outlets are pushing is the
(00:35):
opposite of kind.
Welcome to the Kindness Matterspodcast.
Our goal is to give you a placeto relax, to revel in stories
of people who have received orgiven kindness, a place to
inspire and motivate each andevery one of us to practice
kindness every day.
Hello and welcome everybody toanother episode of the Kindness
(00:56):
Matters podcast.
I am your host, mike Rathman.
Before we begin our show today,let me talk about the Deluxe
Edition Network's podcast of themonth.
They have two for the month ofFebruary.
The first one up is Films andFermentation, and that podcast
(01:17):
follows three friends who liketo talk shit about movies while
getting well shit-faced.
The hosts, kevin, mike and Leo,discuss various movie topics in
conjunction with their favoritelibations.
It's a podcast about alcoholand cinema Cheers.
The second podcast on the DeluxeEdition Network's podcast of
(01:40):
the month for February isFriends Talking Nerdy.
Friends Talking Nerdy is apodcast hosted by Professor
Aubrey and Tim the Nerd thatdelves deep into all things
geeky and nerdy.
With their passion for popculture, science, mental health
and technology, the hosts offerinsightful commentary on the
(02:00):
latest trends and happenings inthe world of geekdom.
Through their engaging banterand lively discussions,
professor Aubrey and Tim theNerd create a fun and
informative space for all nerdsto come together and explore the
latest trends and ideas.
Those are the two podcasts ofthe month on the Deluxe Edition
Network.
Go to deluxeeditionnetworkcomto find out more.
(02:24):
And now on with the show.
My guest today is apsychotherapist specializing in
couples, communication andintimacy, grief, loss,
spirituality and faith, andtransforming lives into
expressions of beauty and joy.
She has a brand new book outand I am so happy to introduce
(02:50):
Dr Heather Brown.
Welcome to the show, heather.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Thank you for having me.
I'm honored to be here.
Dr. Heather Browne (02:56):
Are we doing a little happy dance Because
the book just came, was ityesterday?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, yesterday it's like around five, it came out
very much.
So it's been it's been a littleyear and a half journey in
stepping in to do this, so it'sa long process.
So it's it's wild that it's out.
I haven't touched it yet.
Dr. Heather Browne (03:14):
My copy's come tomorrow, so I'm waiting,
you know to see my that's asmell of ink on paper and all.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
And I did a coaching program with Ashley Mansour and
it's a wonderful program, AuthorIgnite, and it helps you learn
how to write your book andpublishing and going through the
whole process of editing andhow to get it out there and the
cover and hashtags and all ofthese things.
And one of the things she hadus do when we submitted the book
the first time for the firstedit was to write a letter to
(03:46):
yourself that you get to openonce you're published.
And so that letter has been in aprominent place in my room for
13 months.
Oh my gosh and so I thought doI open it yesterday and I
thought no Wait to oh, youhaven't opened it yet.
Uh-uh.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:04):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Because I was officially.
I'm officially, you know,published because the book is
done.
Sure, it's out yesterday, but Ithought it's not.
I'm I'm waiting to get my baby,so I'm gonna.
Okay, alright open my letter.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:18):
That's so exciting.
But now you've written a lot,you're, you're well published,
but just not in book form, right?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Right.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:29):
Is this so much better?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It's so thorough and you know, when I write an
article, I'm writing about aspecific topic.
Mike Rathbun (04:39):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And a specific part of a topic and I love doing that
and I've written hundreds andhundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of poems.
I have two poetry books thatare out and I love them.
But writing a book on helpingpeople in their relationship and
walking through hurt and angerand deceit and anxiety and
(05:01):
triggers and love, languages andintimacy and sacks and money
and kids and hand holding andcuddling and loving each other
deeply and devotedly, that'srich.
Dr. Heather Browne (05:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
It's a huge gamut.
It's not just one little piece.
And so for that, yeah, becauseit's like slipping into a warm
bath that you like, luxuriateand for a long time.
It's not just a quick shower.
Dr. Heather Browne (05:33):
Right.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And the way I wrote it, because I wanted it to be
different, of course, than anyother book out there.
So I wrote it instead of likethis is how to be in a better
relationship, this is how tohave better communication.
I actually walk you through it.
So there's exercises in prettymuch every single chapter, and
some of them are throughout thechapter.
(05:54):
So I'll say okay, now I wantyou to go do this.
I'll spend two minutes here,spend three minutes here, and
then come back and I'll say okay, so what did we learn here?
Let's talk about that.
What was hard here?
Let's talk about it.
What did you love here?
Let's talk about it.
So it's kind of, in an essence,like a workshop book.
Dr. Heather Browne (06:12):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Because we know a lot of times how you know we just
don't do it.
But there's the place yeah.
You know, like I know I shouldbut, and so I just take away the
but and just say and here we go, Let me help you with that, Let
me guide you on it.
And there's a lot that we canlearn about how to even approach
(06:34):
communication that for somereason we're not taught.
Did a podcast last week and thehost said you should be in
every single high school incollege.
You should be in every singlehigh school in college in the US
or the world to share with themthis knowledge, because nobody
teaches us.
I'm like I know that looking atcommunication very, very
(06:57):
differently than we do it tomake it more effective, to make
it more respectful, to make itmore honoring.
There's the place of notabandoning yourself and not
blaming the other, and I thinkour world really needs to look
(07:17):
at that.
We abandon ourselves and thenwe blame the other person for us
feeling abandoned.
We really need to know how to besolid within ourselves and
carry ourselves in our integrity, and then with that I determine
what I can do in a relationshipwith somebody else.
But if I'm not really solid inme, then how am I going to have
(07:41):
a conversation?
Because I'm going to veer allover the place.
So I spent quite a bit of timeat the very beginning helping
people really recognize theirthoughts, their feelings, their
needs, their beliefs for themand how to step into a
relationship differently, whereyou are learning how to walk
side by side, even though youhave very different opinions.
Dr. Heather Browne (08:04):
Yeah, Sure, and you focus a lot on
compassion, yes, in your teacher, in your, in your business.
I guess that's a good way tosay it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
But I mean just in general, you focus on compassion
and I think that's the mostbeautiful gift we have as humans
that we can love.
Yeah, I think that's the mostbeautiful thing, and what I have
found is, the longer I'm here,it's up to me how much I want to
(08:38):
love is up to me, how much Ifeel love is up to me, and when
I no longer rely on somebodyelse to be the person to provide
that for me, when I decide, ohno, I'm going to love me no
matter what, like, I am going tohelp myself, walk through today
as best I can and treat myselfwith respect and kindness.
I'm just going to enjoy beingHeather, because it doesn't feel
(09:00):
good hating Heather.
It just simply doesn't hatingHeather, doesn't feel good
beating Heather up.
I don't know why we everdecided it's so hard to love
ourselves.
I don't have to be sad thatwe've decided that, because it
doesn't have to be, can be.
You don't have to think you'reamazing, but just simply let it
be okay that you're like.
I'm six foot tall.
(09:20):
That just is.
I'm a woman, that just is.
I'm 60.
That just is like I don't haveto fight it, it just is.
Dr. Heather Browne (09:30):
Yeah, there's nothing you can do about
it, so you might as well loveyourself for it anyway.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Might as well.
I mean, now we're starting todo things about some of that,
but that's another topic.
But for me, the one thing I canoffer is my compassion.
Sure and I know this the more Ilive in compassion and the more
I offer it, the better chancethere is of it being received.
Dr. Heather Browne (09:58):
Amen, because I was.
I was thinking about compassionand empathy and I was thinking
you know, do people mix thosetwo up a lot in your experience?
Are they used interchangeably?
No, I went, no they are.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
they are confused a lot and they are different.
Dr. Heather Browne (10:22):
Yes, similar .
They're similar, but empathy isbeing able to to see yourself
in another person's troubles,whereas compassion is being able
to see yourself in anotherperson's trouble and wanting to
(10:43):
help.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yes, yes.
Dr. Heather Browne (10:47):
And that's the big difference, because I
always think you have to haveempathy, to be kind, but
compassion to me is more reallythe necessary thing.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Well, and for me the difference is in empathy.
I have to feel, I have to feelfor you in your situation and
feel I somehow kind ofunderstand it and compassion.
You don't, you don't have tounderstand it at all.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:11):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
If I see a child starving in India, I do not
understand that.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I can have deep compassion.
Can I really have empathy?
Not, not.
I don't know what it feels liketo be starving to death.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I've gone without food is three days.
That's a long time, but that'snot a month Right.
So, to me, compassion, this isalso the other.
This is the difference.
For me, empathy, there's a,there's a big piece of you in
that.
I recognize that, I align withthat.
I understand that.
I've had that experience too.
(11:47):
So I'm going to feel closer toyou because, basically, this
reminds me of me.
Compassion is not about me atall.
Right, that's what can I giveto you.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:58):
Right, right .
Speaker 3 (12:00):
We don't need to focus on me.
Whereas empathy, it is largelyabout us joining in our
commonalities, compassion isjust a giving of the heart.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:10):
Yeah, and basically not you.
You've had a big year.
I mean your book just came outand then in November your Ted
Talk yeah, dropped.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yep.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:22):
And I was watching that Ted talk and this
will come full circle, but bearwith me you were talking about.
There was you.
You related a story.
Your mom had some mental healthissues when you were a child
and paranoia.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Yeah, Schizophrenia and alcoholic.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:43):
Okay, and you related a story and I should
just have you tell the story.
But your compassion, there waswhat really shown through and if
you want to tell the story,I'll let you.
But yeah, that really struckwith me.
Stuck with me and struck me.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well, it was pivotal and, yeah, I'll do it in a
snapshot.
People can go listen to mytactics that they want the whole
story.
Dr. Heather Browne (13:08):
But please do.
I'll have the link in the shownotes.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Perfect, just like this quick line of it.
So when my mom would go intopsychotic episodes, we all try
to pull her out.
Like you know, ginny, that it'snot.
That's not what's going on,this isn't happening.
And so one day, when I was 12,helicopters were flying over the
house and she thought they werecoming to get her, and my dad
(13:32):
did what my dad always did andsaid like Ginny, you're crazy,
it's all in your head.
We're not coming to get you.
And I remember looking at herand she was petrified and I
remember thinking like thisisn't working.
Telling her this isn't realisn't working.
She's petrified.
So I asked a really importantquestion, which was what does
(13:56):
mommy need?
When she needed to feel safe,yeah, I did what probably any 12
year olds going to do Grab mylittle blue blankie named Bambi,
and I threw it over her headand I held her and I just said,
like they're not going to getyou, mommy, they're not going to
get you.
And so then, when she came out,she looked at me and her eyes
(14:18):
seemed to say you believe me andI didn't.
I did not believe her reality.
But it didn't matter, you didn'tneed to it didn't matter,
because I needed to know andhonor she believed her reality.
And so in doing that and ingiving that love, in caring
(14:43):
enough about what she needed andtrying to protect her with my
blue blankie from what shethought she needed protection
from, and holding her and beingthere with her, my brain kind of
went and I went.
Okay, this is important and Ihave just bridged between
different realities Because I'vehonored them both.
(15:05):
I didn't need her to be in mine, no clue how to go to hers.
But, love, compassion, caringfor, was the bridge, and I
thought that is whatrelationship can be, that is
what communication can be.
(15:26):
And so I came out into teenageyears not thinking anybody ever
would really understand myreality, because I realized they
don't live it.
So yours is going to bedifferent than mine.
So I don't have to fight minesright.
I don't have to fight thatyours is wrong.
I can just say I don't reallyget yours.
(15:48):
Help me understand as much asyou can what I need to know to
respect yours.
And it also showed me that inevery situation where someone is
struggling yourself includedangry, hurt, sad, dejected,
(16:09):
rejecting whatever it is thereneeds to be more love, and we
can always, if we choose, offerlove simply because it's the
compassionate thing to doDoesn't mean they've earned it,
doesn't mean they deserve it.
Doesn't mean I agree withanything they do.
(16:31):
I can simply be compassionatebecause here is another human
being who's struggling orsuffering and I have been that I
was homeless for a month, likeI know what it can be like to
have life be hard and I wouldhave wanted to be treated well
(16:54):
in those moments.
I have moments where I'm notcompletely solid in this reality
and I would hope someone wouldsay, hey, heather, like you seem
to be a little tense here, likelet me help you with that.
But we all want to feel safe,we all want to feel loved.
If you think of the nature ofbeing born, the man and the
(17:19):
woman coming together andjoining and becoming the embryo
and then growing within themommy's body, being attached
with the umbilical cord, needingthat for life itself and then
needing the breast or the bottlefor life itself, we long to be
(17:40):
important, we long to be loved,we long to give love.
And so I just think, well,because I know that, do I do
that every day?
Am I compassionate every day?
Am I caring every day?
Dr. Heather Browne (17:57):
We'll be right back with my conversation
with Dr Heather Brown, but firstlet's hear from a deluxe
edition network podcast from DonBrody called History.
I'd Like to.
Well, I'll let her tell you.
Mike Rathbun (18:13):
Hi, I'm Don Brody, a comedian with a history
degree and the host of thepodcast Hilf History.
I'd Like to Fuck.
Each episode, I am joined by anew guest who has brought me a
subject from history that theywant to know more about.
Then I hit the books.
I dig deep in the anals andstimulate.
We've covered Frankenstein,houdini, joan of Arc, pompeii,
(18:36):
the sale of witch trials, right.
Join us and find out foryourself that history is a party
and everybody's coming.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
In my TED Talk I talk about a homeless man who just
went right into my soul and Ithought about it a lot because I
looked at him and I could havenot I could have looked at him,
closed off.
Dr. Heather Browne (19:10):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
But I didn't.
And so in that moment, thatbridge was from my soul to his
soul, from my heart to his heart, and I was moved.
And we have all had people inour lives where you just say
thank God, thank God, thank God,thank God, thank God you're
here because they know, youdesperately.
(19:32):
If we remember that, if we keepourselves in a place of I want
to be open and accessible tolove in you in whatever way I
might be able to, it's adifferent way of doing life.
If I wake up this morning andsay, how many people can I love,
how many people can I bless,how many people can I touch, I'm
(19:53):
going to be way more excited tostep into the world.
Dr. Heather Browne (19:56):
If.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I wake up and say, oh my God, there's so much I have
to do and I have to go to theoffice and people are going to
need me and I'm tired.
I want to do this.
It's not going to be a good day.
Dr. Heather Browne (20:07):
Yeah, no, no , no, for sure, so do you walk
your life speaking with yourheart.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Do you walk your journey speaking with your heart
?
And so oftentimes we don't.
But we can quickly catch thatand say oh, what am I doing?
This is all in my head, this isall in my ego.
It's like where's that bestpart of me?
My heart is my best part of me?
Why?
Would I not want the best partof me to come out as much as
possible?
Dr. Heather Browne (20:35):
Yeah, for sure.
I think this world we havetoday could use so many more
people like you, because I, youknow, and that's just the thing.
I was watching interviews ofpotential voters the other day
(20:56):
and one of them said you know,would you listen to this person
who has opposing views than you?
You know views that are opposedto yours.
Would you listen to them andtry to explain to them why you
feel the way you do?
No, no, because they'rethrowing a political label there
(21:17):
.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Well, but if they would want to hear, sure, I mean
, I can share what I think and Ibelieve.
Dr. Heather Browne (21:23):
I think people just don't want to hear.
They're not willing to get tothat compassionate part where
they don't see other people aspeople of a different religion
or a different skin color, or adifferent political party or,
whatever the case may be, asanother human being.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
And isn't that wild to think?
Yes, there's these billionpeople on the planet.
For whatever reason, we areeach here.
How bizarre for me to thinkthat my little speck of heather
dumb means anything more thananybody else's little speck of
(22:05):
them.
I mean, how can I think I'mmore important than another
person when all I am is one ofeight billion?
Dr. Heather Browne (22:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
And how can I say you are supposed to be a particular
way Like you get to decide 100%for you.
I could decide 100% for me andI'm living a life that, for me,
calls me and blesses me, and Ihope he's a whole bunch of good
in the world.
But at the end of my life, Iwill have lived my life and I'll
(22:33):
be dead and that's it, right.
There's some like stacked orderof oh, I've been so amazing,
therefore, and I'm dead.
I'm dead, right.
What I hope happens is at theend of my life, I hope, when I
meet with God and creation andall of that, what I hope happens
is they say like, what do youthink?
What do you think?
(22:54):
What I want to say is oh mygosh, thank you.
Dr. Heather Browne (22:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Thank you.
You gave me this incredibleexperience and I love so much of
it.
And thank you for letting me beheather Like.
Thank you for choosing likethis body, this mind, this
personality.
What a hoot.
Dr. Heather Browne (23:15):
Thank you for not making me a Jane or a
Janet or whatever.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I would have been grateful to be Jane or Janet,
but like thank you for what wasmine.
Dr. Heather Browne (23:27):
Right.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
And thank you for giving me as much of an
awareness as I have had to wantto bless Right, because for me,
that's my greatest thing beingchildren of the world, being in
relationship and like loving onothers.
For me, that's my biggest thing.
For somebody else, it'ssomething different, and then
(23:48):
they would think for somethingdifferent.
Maybe it's making music.
How glorious.
I don't have a gift.
So, yeah, like this is for usto decide how do we play this
game, how do we walk this role,how do we do this dance?
And I just see people who andmyself included who just waste
(24:10):
so much of the time beingfrustrated and pissed off and
resentful and angry and bitter,and I think God, another day
went by where you missed thesunset.
Dr. Heather Browne (24:19):
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
And the thing went by where clearly you didn't love
you, because if you had lovedyou, you wouldn't even be
focusing on this other crud, youwould just be focusing on oh, I
am in a good place, let me stepout of here.
I'm not going to be in thisconversation.
Let me go pet my dog.
Dr. Heather Browne (24:37):
Right, oh, my God, is that the best?
Yeah, just that will lower myblood pressure to like 10 points
just petting my dog.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So one of the things they say when you're in deep
depression is, if you're able toget a pet or volunteer, yeah,
because you're loving onsomething else, and it validates
that you can do something, thatyou are important, that you
have an impact, that you need tobe here, that others need you.
(25:10):
Because depression is reallythe loss of the belief that we
are important in ourselves.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:17):
Oh interesting, I've never heard it
put that way.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I've never said it before, so thank you for that,
but that's what it is.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:24):
Copyright Dr Heather Brown.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
There we go.
I don't someone else is goingto have to read it back to us
because I don't even know whatit said but that I don't feel
good in the beingness of me.
I don't know how to get out ofthat, and so when you bring in a
pet or a volunteer, my focusnow becomes what I do for you.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:45):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
And because pets and people who are needing are
grateful.
You get back and then yourealize, oh, I can do something.
When I was at my lowest, it wasfreshman year of college and I
was definitely in a deepdepression.
I would never kill myself, butI for sure wanted God to kill me
(26:08):
and I went to a psychiatristbecause I knew I was not in a
good place.
And he said to me what is onething that used to bring you
pleasure?
And I said dancing.
And he said OK, I want you todance for an hour every day
until I see you again.
Dr. Heather Browne (26:27):
It seems like a long time.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
It was, and I said it's not going to do any good.
He said I don't really care, Iwant you to do it.
I'm thinking man, I'm thinkingjerk, but then I'm also thinking
he's the doctor, ok, and I amlargely obedient.
So I went and the first day itwas just stupid, it was dumb, it
(26:52):
was forever.
And then I went back andcrawled into my bed.
Second day, same thing, justhated it, got pissed off, got
angry.
This is so dumb.
Why am I even doing this?
This is a waste of time, likebeing in my bed is a better fill
for my day.
And so the third day I thought,well, heck, if I'm doing this,
I'm bringing music.
So I brought music.
At least I listened to musicand it was a little bit less
(27:13):
treacherous.
Day four I'm like, screw this,if I'm doing this, I am dancing,
darn it.
So I danced and I hated it.
I was mad, I was jumping and Iwas leaping and throwing my body
and I was tired.
And then the fifth day I kindof danced.
When I went back to his officehe said did you do it?
And I said yeah, I did.
(27:35):
He said good, and then hestarted to move on to another
topic and I went wait.
Dr. Heather Browne (27:41):
Aren't you going to ask me how I felt?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Yeah, aren't you going to ask how it went?
And he said no.
And I said why?
He said because you proved toyourself that you can do
something when you don't want to.
And if you want to share withme how you felt about it, go
ahead.
(28:03):
But that's not the point ofwhat I had to do.
And I was angry with himbecause I wanted it to be
important, and so I told him I'mangry right now and he said why
?
And I said because I want myexperience to be important to
you.
And he said why is that?
(28:25):
And I said because I want to beimportant to you.
And he said congratulations onstepping out of your depression.
Dr. Heather Browne (28:36):
He was brilliant Wow he was brilliant.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I learned so much in four sessions from that man, wow
Key.
Though such a key, I'm going todo something because it'll be
good for me and, if you can moveit to, and I'm going to care
about others in my experience orwant to share my experience now
(29:00):
I've given myself value.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
There's something about this that I think you need
to know, wow.
That's not a depressed person.
That's a hurting person,healing person.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:14):
Wow, so cool .
Well, heather, thank you somuch for taking the time to talk
with me today.
I really appreciate it so much.
Wishing you so much good luck,thank you, thank you for having
me.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Good luck.
Yeah, thank you for talking tome.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:33):
I am honored .
Your book is out.
Speaking with the Heart.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yep, it's on Barnes Noble, it's on Amazon and I
believe the link is on mywebsite.
But if it's not on my website,go to Barnes Noble on Amazon,
because it just went up.
So we're working on that as wespeak.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:53):
We'll just put both those links in the show
notes.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
There you go, and if you go on, well, we've got the
links.
I'll send you the links ofactual books, so you have it too
.
But if you go on Amazon, if youtype in Speaking with the Heart
, just type in either Dr Heatheror Dr Brown there's a lot of
speaking heart books and so ifyou put my name in there it'll
pop up quicker, and anyquestions that anybody has with
(30:16):
it I'd be honored to answer.
Please let me know.
Love to have Amazon reviews.
Love to have people share it.
I just really hope that, my 27years of being a therapist and
working with people trying tohelp them connect with
themselves and love themselvesand honor themselves and honor
the person that they are with, Ihope that my book is a love
(30:36):
letter, because that's what Iwanted it to be, and so I hope
it blesses lots of people.
Dr. Heather Browne (30:42):
I'm sure it will bless a lot of people.
I know I feel blessed and Ihaven't even read the book.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I'm just speaking with you.
I'll send you the Amazon linkas soon as we're off.
Dr. Heather Browne (30:52):
That's great .
Thank you so much again,Heather.
I really appreciate it and wewill talk again soon.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Sounds good.
Bless you.
Dr. Heather Browne (31:01):
I feel so energized after talking to Dr
Heather Brown.
That was a great conversation.
This whole feeling of leadingwith compassion in our lives and
using that to help others andourselves as well is so
fascinating to me.
I'm going to definitely go outand get her book.
(31:23):
You can do that too.
I will have all the links inthe show notes for her website
and obviously, for her book aswell, and that will do it for
another episode of the KindnessMatters podcast.
Thank you for listening today.
I appreciate it so much.
We'll have another episode outnext week, but in the meantime,
(31:46):
be that person who roots forothers, who tells a stranger
they love and look amazing andencourages others to believe in
themselves and their dreams.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
This podcast is part of the Deluxe Edition
Network.
To find other great shows onthe network, head over to
deluxeeditionnetworkcom.
That's deluxeeditionnetworkcom.
Dr. Heather Browne (00:14):
Kindness, we see it all around us.
We see it when someone pays forsomeone else's coffee or holds
the door open for another person.
We see it in the smallest ofgestures, like a smile or a kind
word.
But it's different when we turnon the news or social media.
Oftentimes what we hear aboutwhat outlets are pushing is the
(00:35):
opposite of kind.
Welcome to the Kindness Matterspodcast.
Our goal is to give you a placeto relax, to revel in stories
of people who have received orgiven kindness, a place to
inspire and motivate each andevery one of us to practice
kindness every day.
Hello and welcome everybody toanother episode of the Kindness
(00:56):
Matters podcast.
I am your host, mike Rathman.
Before we begin our show today,let me talk about the Deluxe
Edition Network's podcast of themonth.
They have two for the month ofFebruary.
The first one up is Films andFermentation, and that podcast
(01:17):
follows three friends who liketo talk shit about movies while
getting well shit-faced.
The hosts, kevin, mike and Leo,discuss various movie topics in
conjunction with their favoritelibations.
It's a podcast about alcoholand cinema Cheers.
The second podcast on the DeluxeEdition Network's podcast of
(01:40):
the month for February isFriends Talking Nerdy.
Friends Talking Nerdy is apodcast hosted by Professor
Aubrey and Tim the Nerd thatdelves deep into all things
geeky and nerdy.
With their passion for popculture, science, mental health
and technology, the hosts offerinsightful commentary on the
(02:00):
latest trends and happenings inthe world of geekdom.
Through their engaging banterand lively discussions,
professor Aubrey and Tim theNerd create a fun and
informative space for all nerdsto come together and explore the
latest trends and ideas.
Those are the two podcasts ofthe month on the Deluxe Edition
Network.
Go to deluxeeditionnetworkcomto find out more.
(02:24):
And now on with the show.
My guest today is apsychotherapist specializing in
couples, communication andintimacy, grief, loss,
spirituality and faith, andtransforming lives into
expressions of beauty and joy.
She has a brand new book outand I am so happy to introduce
(02:50):
Dr Heather Brown.
Welcome to the show, heather.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Thank you for having me.
I'm honored to be here.
Dr. Heather Browne (02:56):
Are we doing a little happy dance Because
the book just came, was ityesterday?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, yesterday it's like around five, it came out
very much.
So it's been it's been a littleyear and a half journey in
stepping in to do this, so it'sa long process.
So it's it's wild that it's out.
I haven't touched it yet.
Dr. Heather Browne (03:14):
My copy's come tomorrow, so I'm waiting,
you know to see my that's asmell of ink on paper and all.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
And I did a coaching program with Ashley Mansour and
it's a wonderful program, AuthorIgnite, and it helps you learn
how to write your book andpublishing and going through the
whole process of editing andhow to get it out there and the
cover and hashtags and all ofthese things.
And one of the things she hadus do when we submitted the book
the first time for the firstedit was to write a letter to
(03:46):
yourself that you get to openonce you're published.
And so that letter has been in aprominent place in my room for
13 months.
Oh my gosh and so I thought doI open it yesterday and I
thought no Wait to oh, youhaven't opened it yet.
Uh-uh.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:04):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Because I was officially.
I'm officially, you know,published because the book is
done.
Sure, it's out yesterday, but Ithought it's not.
I'm I'm waiting to get my baby,so I'm gonna.
Okay, alright open my letter.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:18):
That's so exciting.
But now you've written a lot,you're, you're well published,
but just not in book form, right?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Right.
Dr. Heather Browne (04:29):
Is this so much better?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It's so thorough and you know, when I write an
article, I'm writing about aspecific topic.
Mike Rathbun (04:39):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And a specific part of a topic and I love doing that
and I've written hundreds andhundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of poems.
I have two poetry books thatare out and I love them.
But writing a book on helpingpeople in their relationship and
walking through hurt and angerand deceit and anxiety and
(05:01):
triggers and love, languages andintimacy and sacks and money
and kids and hand holding andcuddling and loving each other
deeply and devotedly, that'srich.
Dr. Heather Browne (05:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
It's a huge gamut.
It's not just one little piece.
And so for that, yeah, becauseit's like slipping into a warm
bath that you like, luxuriateand for a long time.
It's not just a quick shower.
Dr. Heather Browne (05:33):
Right.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And the way I wrote it, because I wanted it to be
different, of course, than anyother book out there.
So I wrote it instead of likethis is how to be in a better
relationship, this is how tohave better communication.
I actually walk you through it.
So there's exercises in prettymuch every single chapter, and
some of them are throughout thechapter.
(05:54):
So I'll say okay, now I wantyou to go do this.
I'll spend two minutes here,spend three minutes here, and
then come back and I'll say okay, so what did we learn here?
Let's talk about that.
What was hard here?
Let's talk about it.
What did you love here?
Let's talk about it.
So it's kind of, in an essence,like a workshop book.
Dr. Heather Browne (06:12):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Because we know a lot of times how you know we just
don't do it.
But there's the place yeah.
You know, like I know I shouldbut, and so I just take away the
but and just say and here we go, Let me help you with that, Let
me guide you on it.
And there's a lot that we canlearn about how to even approach
(06:34):
communication that for somereason we're not taught.
Did a podcast last week and thehost said you should be in
every single high school incollege.
You should be in every singlehigh school in college in the US
or the world to share with themthis knowledge, because nobody
teaches us.
I'm like I know that looking atcommunication very, very
(06:57):
differently than we do it tomake it more effective, to make
it more respectful, to make itmore honoring.
There's the place of notabandoning yourself and not
blaming the other, and I thinkour world really needs to look
(07:17):
at that.
We abandon ourselves and thenwe blame the other person for us
feeling abandoned.
We really need to know how to besolid within ourselves and
carry ourselves in our integrity, and then with that I determine
what I can do in a relationshipwith somebody else.
But if I'm not really solid inme, then how am I going to have
(07:41):
a conversation?
Because I'm going to veer allover the place.
So I spent quite a bit of timeat the very beginning helping
people really recognize theirthoughts, their feelings, their
needs, their beliefs for themand how to step into a
relationship differently, whereyou are learning how to walk
side by side, even though youhave very different opinions.
Dr. Heather Browne (08:04):
Yeah, Sure, and you focus a lot on
compassion, yes, in your teacher, in your, in your business.
I guess that's a good way tosay it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
But I mean just in general, you focus on compassion
and I think that's the mostbeautiful gift we have as humans
that we can love.
Yeah, I think that's the mostbeautiful thing, and what I have
found is, the longer I'm here,it's up to me how much I want to
(08:38):
love is up to me, how much Ifeel love is up to me, and when
I no longer rely on somebodyelse to be the person to provide
that for me, when I decide, ohno, I'm going to love me no
matter what, like, I am going tohelp myself, walk through today
as best I can and treat myselfwith respect and kindness.
I'm just going to enjoy beingHeather, because it doesn't feel
(09:00):
good hating Heather.
It just simply doesn't hatingHeather, doesn't feel good
beating Heather up.
I don't know why we everdecided it's so hard to love
ourselves.
I don't have to be sad thatwe've decided that, because it
doesn't have to be, can be.
You don't have to think you'reamazing, but just simply let it
be okay that you're like.
I'm six foot tall.
(09:20):
That just is.
I'm a woman, that just is.
I'm 60.
That just is like I don't haveto fight it, it just is.
Dr. Heather Browne (09:30):
Yeah, there's nothing you can do about
it, so you might as well loveyourself for it anyway.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Might as well.
I mean, now we're starting todo things about some of that,
but that's another topic.
But for me, the one thing I canoffer is my compassion.
Sure and I know this the more Ilive in compassion and the more
I offer it, the better chancethere is of it being received.
Dr. Heather Browne (09:58):
Amen, because I was.
I was thinking about compassionand empathy and I was thinking
you know, do people mix thosetwo up a lot in your experience?
Are they used interchangeably?
No, I went, no they are.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
they are confused a lot and they are different.
Dr. Heather Browne (10:22):
Yes, similar .
They're similar, but empathy isbeing able to to see yourself
in another person's troubles,whereas compassion is being able
to see yourself in anotherperson's trouble and wanting to
(10:43):
help.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yes, yes.
Dr. Heather Browne (10:47):
And that's the big difference, because I
always think you have to haveempathy, to be kind, but
compassion to me is more reallythe necessary thing.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Well, and for me the difference is in empathy.
I have to feel, I have to feelfor you in your situation and
feel I somehow kind ofunderstand it and compassion.
You don't, you don't have tounderstand it at all.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:11):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
If I see a child starving in India, I do not
understand that.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I can have deep compassion.
Can I really have empathy?
Not, not.
I don't know what it feels liketo be starving to death.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I've gone without food is three days.
That's a long time, but that'snot a month Right.
So, to me, compassion, this isalso the other.
This is the difference.
For me, empathy, there's a,there's a big piece of you in
that.
I recognize that, I align withthat.
I understand that.
I've had that experience too.
(11:47):
So I'm going to feel closer toyou because, basically, this
reminds me of me.
Compassion is not about me atall.
Right, that's what can I giveto you.
Dr. Heather Browne (11:58):
Right, right .
Speaker 3 (12:00):
We don't need to focus on me.
Whereas empathy, it is largelyabout us joining in our
commonalities, compassion isjust a giving of the heart.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:10):
Yeah, and basically not you.
You've had a big year.
I mean your book just came outand then in November your Ted
Talk yeah, dropped.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yep.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:22):
And I was watching that Ted talk and this
will come full circle, but bearwith me you were talking about.
There was you.
You related a story.
Your mom had some mental healthissues when you were a child
and paranoia.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Yeah, Schizophrenia and alcoholic.
Dr. Heather Browne (12:43):
Okay, and you related a story and I should
just have you tell the story.
But your compassion, there waswhat really shown through and if
you want to tell the story,I'll let you.
But yeah, that really struckwith me.
Stuck with me and struck me.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well, it was pivotal and, yeah, I'll do it in a
snapshot.
People can go listen to mytactics that they want the whole
story.
Dr. Heather Browne (13:08):
But please do.
I'll have the link in the shownotes.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Perfect, just like this quick line of it.
So when my mom would go intopsychotic episodes, we all try
to pull her out.
Like you know, ginny, that it'snot.
That's not what's going on,this isn't happening.
And so one day, when I was 12,helicopters were flying over the
house and she thought they werecoming to get her, and my dad
(13:32):
did what my dad always did andsaid like Ginny, you're crazy,
it's all in your head.
We're not coming to get you.
And I remember looking at herand she was petrified and I
remember thinking like thisisn't working.
Telling her this isn't realisn't working.
She's petrified.
So I asked a really importantquestion, which was what does
(13:56):
mommy need?
When she needed to feel safe,yeah, I did what probably any 12
year olds going to do Grab mylittle blue blankie named Bambi,
and I threw it over her headand I held her and I just said,
like they're not going to getyou, mommy, they're not going to
get you.
And so then, when she came out,she looked at me and her eyes
(14:18):
seemed to say you believe me andI didn't.
I did not believe her reality.
But it didn't matter, you didn'tneed to it didn't matter,
because I needed to know andhonor she believed her reality.
And so in doing that and ingiving that love, in caring
(14:43):
enough about what she needed andtrying to protect her with my
blue blankie from what shethought she needed protection
from, and holding her and beingthere with her, my brain kind of
went and I went.
Okay, this is important and Ihave just bridged between
different realities Because I'vehonored them both.
(15:05):
I didn't need her to be in mine, no clue how to go to hers.
But, love, compassion, caringfor, was the bridge, and I
thought that is whatrelationship can be, that is
what communication can be.
(15:26):
And so I came out into teenageyears not thinking anybody ever
would really understand myreality, because I realized they
don't live it.
So yours is going to bedifferent than mine.
So I don't have to fight minesright.
I don't have to fight thatyours is wrong.
I can just say I don't reallyget yours.
(15:48):
Help me understand as much asyou can what I need to know to
respect yours.
And it also showed me that inevery situation where someone is
struggling yourself includedangry, hurt, sad, dejected,
(16:09):
rejecting whatever it is thereneeds to be more love, and we
can always, if we choose, offerlove simply because it's the
compassionate thing to doDoesn't mean they've earned it,
doesn't mean they deserve it.
Doesn't mean I agree withanything they do.
(16:31):
I can simply be compassionatebecause here is another human
being who's struggling orsuffering and I have been that I
was homeless for a month, likeI know what it can be like to
have life be hard and I wouldhave wanted to be treated well
(16:54):
in those moments.
I have moments where I'm notcompletely solid in this reality
and I would hope someone wouldsay, hey, heather, like you seem
to be a little tense here, likelet me help you with that.
But we all want to feel safe,we all want to feel loved.
If you think of the nature ofbeing born, the man and the
(17:19):
woman coming together andjoining and becoming the embryo
and then growing within themommy's body, being attached
with the umbilical cord, needingthat for life itself and then
needing the breast or the bottlefor life itself, we long to be
(17:40):
important, we long to be loved,we long to give love.
And so I just think, well,because I know that, do I do
that every day?
Am I compassionate every day?
Am I caring every day?
Dr. Heather Browne (17:57):
We'll be right back with my conversation
with Dr Heather Brown, but firstlet's hear from a deluxe
edition network podcast from DonBrody called History.
I'd Like to.
Well, I'll let her tell you.
Mike Rathbun (18:13):
Hi, I'm Don Brody, a comedian with a history
degree and the host of thepodcast Hilf History.
I'd Like to Fuck.
Each episode, I am joined by anew guest who has brought me a
subject from history that theywant to know more about.
Then I hit the books.
I dig deep in the anals andstimulate.
We've covered Frankenstein,houdini, joan of Arc, pompeii,
(18:36):
the sale of witch trials, right.
Join us and find out foryourself that history is a party
and everybody's coming.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
In my TED Talk I talk about a homeless man who just
went right into my soul and Ithought about it a lot because I
looked at him and I could havenot I could have looked at him,
closed off.
Dr. Heather Browne (19:10):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
But I didn't.
And so in that moment, thatbridge was from my soul to his
soul, from my heart to his heart, and I was moved.
And we have all had people inour lives where you just say
thank God, thank God, thank God,thank God, thank God you're
here because they know, youdesperately.
(19:32):
If we remember that, if we keepourselves in a place of I want
to be open and accessible tolove in you in whatever way I
might be able to, it's adifferent way of doing life.
If I wake up this morning andsay, how many people can I love,
how many people can I bless,how many people can I touch, I'm
(19:53):
going to be way more excited tostep into the world.
Dr. Heather Browne (19:56):
If.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I wake up and say, oh my God, there's so much I have
to do and I have to go to theoffice and people are going to
need me and I'm tired.
I want to do this.
It's not going to be a good day.
Dr. Heather Browne (20:07):
Yeah, no, no , no, for sure, so do you walk
your life speaking with yourheart.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Do you walk your journey speaking with your heart
?
And so oftentimes we don't.
But we can quickly catch thatand say oh, what am I doing?
This is all in my head, this isall in my ego.
It's like where's that bestpart of me?
My heart is my best part of me?
Why?
Would I not want the best partof me to come out as much as
possible?
Dr. Heather Browne (20:35):
Yeah, for sure.
I think this world we havetoday could use so many more
people like you, because I, youknow, and that's just the thing.
I was watching interviews ofpotential voters the other day
(20:56):
and one of them said you know,would you listen to this person
who has opposing views than you?
You know views that are opposedto yours.
Would you listen to them andtry to explain to them why you
feel the way you do?
No, no, because they'rethrowing a political label there
(21:17):
.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Well, but if they would want to hear, sure, I mean
, I can share what I think and Ibelieve.
Dr. Heather Browne (21:23):
I think people just don't want to hear.
They're not willing to get tothat compassionate part where
they don't see other people aspeople of a different religion
or a different skin color, or adifferent political party or,
whatever the case may be, asanother human being.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
And isn't that wild to think?
Yes, there's these billionpeople on the planet.
For whatever reason, we areeach here.
How bizarre for me to thinkthat my little speck of heather
dumb means anything more thananybody else's little speck of
(22:05):
them.
I mean, how can I think I'mmore important than another
person when all I am is one ofeight billion?
Dr. Heather Browne (22:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
And how can I say you are supposed to be a particular
way Like you get to decide 100%for you.
I could decide 100% for me andI'm living a life that, for me,
calls me and blesses me, and Ihope he's a whole bunch of good
in the world.
But at the end of my life, Iwill have lived my life and I'll
(22:33):
be dead and that's it, right.
There's some like stacked orderof oh, I've been so amazing,
therefore, and I'm dead.
I'm dead, right.
What I hope happens is at theend of my life, I hope, when I
meet with God and creation andall of that, what I hope happens
is they say like, what do youthink?
What do you think?
(22:54):
What I want to say is oh mygosh, thank you.
Dr. Heather Browne (22:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Thank you.
You gave me this incredibleexperience and I love so much of
it.
And thank you for letting me beheather Like.
Thank you for choosing likethis body, this mind, this
personality.
What a hoot.
Dr. Heather Browne (23:15):
Thank you for not making me a Jane or a
Janet or whatever.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I would have been grateful to be Jane or Janet,
but like thank you for what wasmine.
Dr. Heather Browne (23:27):
Right.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
And thank you for giving me as much of an
awareness as I have had to wantto bless Right, because for me,
that's my greatest thing beingchildren of the world, being in
relationship and like loving onothers.
For me, that's my biggest thing.
For somebody else, it'ssomething different, and then
(23:48):
they would think for somethingdifferent.
Maybe it's making music.
How glorious.
I don't have a gift.
So, yeah, like this is for usto decide how do we play this
game, how do we walk this role,how do we do this dance?
And I just see people who andmyself included who just waste
(24:10):
so much of the time beingfrustrated and pissed off and
resentful and angry and bitter,and I think God, another day
went by where you missed thesunset.
Dr. Heather Browne (24:19):
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
And the thing went by where clearly you didn't love
you, because if you had lovedyou, you wouldn't even be
focusing on this other crud, youwould just be focusing on oh, I
am in a good place, let me stepout of here.
I'm not going to be in thisconversation.
Let me go pet my dog.
Dr. Heather Browne (24:37):
Right, oh, my God, is that the best?
Yeah, just that will lower myblood pressure to like 10 points
just petting my dog.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So one of the things they say when you're in deep
depression is, if you're able toget a pet or volunteer, yeah,
because you're loving onsomething else, and it validates
that you can do something, thatyou are important, that you
have an impact, that you need tobe here, that others need you.
(25:10):
Because depression is reallythe loss of the belief that we
are important in ourselves.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:17):
Oh interesting, I've never heard it
put that way.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
I've never said it before, so thank you for that,
but that's what it is.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:24):
Copyright Dr Heather Brown.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
There we go.
I don't someone else is goingto have to read it back to us
because I don't even know whatit said but that I don't feel
good in the beingness of me.
I don't know how to get out ofthat, and so when you bring in a
pet or a volunteer, my focusnow becomes what I do for you.
Dr. Heather Browne (25:45):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
And because pets and people who are needing are
grateful.
You get back and then yourealize, oh, I can do something.
When I was at my lowest, it wasfreshman year of college and I
was definitely in a deepdepression.
I would never kill myself, butI for sure wanted God to kill me
(26:08):
and I went to a psychiatristbecause I knew I was not in a
good place.
And he said to me what is onething that used to bring you
pleasure?
And I said dancing.
And he said OK, I want you todance for an hour every day
until I see you again.
Dr. Heather Browne (26:27):
It seems like a long time.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
It was, and I said it's not going to do any good.
He said I don't really care, Iwant you to do it.
I'm thinking man, I'm thinkingjerk, but then I'm also thinking
he's the doctor, ok, and I amlargely obedient.
So I went and the first day itwas just stupid, it was dumb, it
(26:52):
was forever.
And then I went back andcrawled into my bed.
Second day, same thing, justhated it, got pissed off, got
angry.
This is so dumb.
Why am I even doing this?
This is a waste of time, likebeing in my bed is a better fill
for my day.
And so the third day I thought,well, heck, if I'm doing this,
I'm bringing music.
So I brought music.
At least I listened to musicand it was a little bit less
(27:13):
treacherous.
Day four I'm like, screw this,if I'm doing this, I am dancing,
darn it.
So I danced and I hated it.
I was mad, I was jumping and Iwas leaping and throwing my body
and I was tired.
And then the fifth day I kindof danced.
When I went back to his officehe said did you do it?
And I said yeah, I did.
(27:35):
He said good, and then hestarted to move on to another
topic and I went wait.
Dr. Heather Browne (27:41):
Aren't you going to ask me how I felt?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Yeah, aren't you going to ask how it went?
And he said no.
And I said why?
He said because you proved toyourself that you can do
something when you don't want to.
And if you want to share withme how you felt about it, go
ahead.
(28:03):
But that's not the point ofwhat I had to do.
And I was angry with himbecause I wanted it to be
important, and so I told him I'mangry right now and he said why
?
And I said because I want myexperience to be important to
you.
And he said why is that?
(28:25):
And I said because I want to beimportant to you.
And he said congratulations onstepping out of your depression.
Dr. Heather Browne (28:36):
He was brilliant Wow he was brilliant.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I learned so much in four sessions from that man, wow
Key.
Though such a key, I'm going todo something because it'll be
good for me and, if you can moveit to, and I'm going to care
about others in my experience orwant to share my experience now
(29:00):
I've given myself value.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
There's something about this that I think you need
to know, wow.
That's not a depressed person.
That's a hurting person,healing person.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:14):
Wow, so cool .
Well, heather, thank you somuch for taking the time to talk
with me today.
I really appreciate it so much.
Wishing you so much good luck,thank you, thank you for having
me.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Good luck.
Yeah, thank you for talking tome.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:33):
I am honored .
Your book is out.
Speaking with the Heart.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yep, it's on Barnes Noble, it's on Amazon and I
believe the link is on mywebsite.
But if it's not on my website,go to Barnes Noble on Amazon,
because it just went up.
So we're working on that as wespeak.
Dr. Heather Browne (29:53):
We'll just put both those links in the show
notes.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
There you go, and if you go on, well, we've got the
links.
I'll send you the links ofactual books, so you have it too
.
But if you go on Amazon, if youtype in Speaking with the Heart
, just type in either Dr Heatheror Dr Brown there's a lot of
speaking heart books and so ifyou put my name in there it'll
pop up quicker, and anyquestions that anybody has with
(30:16):
it I'd be honored to answer.
Please let me know.
Love to have Amazon reviews.
Love to have people share it.
I just really hope that, my 27years of being a therapist and
working with people trying tohelp them connect with
themselves and love themselvesand honor themselves and honor
the person that they are with, Ihope that my book is a love
(30:36):
letter, because that's what Iwanted it to be, and so I hope
it blesses lots of people.
Dr. Heather Browne (30:42):
I'm sure it will bless a lot of people.
I know I feel blessed and Ihaven't even read the book.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
I'm just speaking with you.
I'll send you the Amazon linkas soon as we're off.
Dr. Heather Browne (30:52):
That's great .
Thank you so much again,Heather.
I really appreciate it and wewill talk again soon.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Sounds good.
Bless you.
Dr. Heather Browne (31:01):
I feel so energized after talking to Dr
Heather Brown.
That was a great conversation.
This whole feeling of leadingwith compassion in our lives and
using that to help others andourselves as well is so
fascinating to me.
I'm going to definitely go outand get her book.
(31:23):
You can do that too.
I will have all the links inthe show notes for her website
and obviously, for her book aswell, and that will do it for
another episode of the KindnessMatters podcast.
Thank you for listening today.
I appreciate it so much.
We'll have another episode outnext week, but in the meantime,
(31:46):
be that person who roots forothers, who tells a stranger
they love and look amazing andencourages others to believe in
themselves and their dreams.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.