July 24, 2025 • 31 mins
When parents see headlines about rising juvenile crime rates, it's easy to feel helpless. While juvenile arrests have declined since the 1990s, troubling increases in firearm violence and homicide rates among youth ages 10-14 have parents searching for answers. Teresa Ramirez, motivational speaker and kindness ambassador, offers a compelling alternative to fear—intentional kindness that transforms families from the inside out.
"Parents need to become the CEO of their families," Teresa explains, sharing practical techniques that help children develop the empathy and social awareness that troubled youth often lack. Her approach isn't complicated—it begins with three simple daily check-in questions, gratitude practices, and powerful words of affirmation that create a foundation of kindness within the home.
What makes Teresa's message unique is her focus on intentionality. "People say, 'I'm kind all the time,' but with intentionality comes consistency," she explains. Her stories illustrate how this approach works in real-world situations—from defusing road rage with a clown nose to transforming a hostile server's day with a simple note. These moments demonstrate the ripple effect of kindness that extends far beyond individual interactions.
Parents will appreciate Teresa's practical tools—using bubbles to teach children how to pause before reacting, writing sticky notes with encouraging messages, and acknowledging the "invisible people" in our communities. These simple acts build a foundation that helps children navigate social challenges and notice peers who might be struggling or isolated.
The episode culminates with Teresa sharing resources from her award-winning book "Raising Kind Children" and her free guide "75 Acts of Kindness"—a graduated list that helps families start their journey toward making kindness "as natural as breathing." Download this powerful resource and discover how your family can be part of the solution to creating a more compassionate world, one intentional act at a time.
This podcast is a proud member of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance or have a podcast and are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetwork.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
ahead and follow us on all ofyour social media feeds.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
(00:42):
Check us out.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
Check us out and, in themeantime, so sit back, relax,
enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hello and welcome everybody tothe show.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
(01:02):
You chose to take 30 minutes orso out of your day to listen to
this podcast, and I just wantyou to know that I appreciate it
so much.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and if you find anything of
use in this show, if you findsomething relative or relatable
(01:24):
in this show, don't be shy, goahead and share this show with
all of your friends, your familyand co-workers.
What have you Let them knowthat you found a show that you
found relatable or that made youfeel good Because that's what
we're here to do, right.
That made you feel good,because that's what we're here
(01:45):
to do, right.
So today we're going to talkabout something that will make
every parent cringe just alittle bit, and that is juvenile
crime rates.
First, the good news Arrests ofjuveniles have significantly
(02:05):
decreased since the early 1990s,with a notable drop in property
crime arrests.
Great news.
Right Now for the bad news,because you can't have good news
.
We're all about balance here,right?
Some areas of juvenile crimeare trending up instead of down.
(02:30):
For example, there's anoticeable increase in offending
among younger juveniles, age 10to 14, compared to juveniles
ages 15 to 17.
In particular, there's a risein firearm involvement in crimes
, and juvenile homicide is up awhopping 65% from 2016 to 2022.
(02:57):
But before you lose hope andyou go, I don't need to listen
to that negativity.
Stop, because I have.
My guest today is Teresa Ramirez, and she is a motivation
speaker, a best-selling author,an award-winning author and a
(03:18):
kindness ambassador for lovingparents who want to raise kids,
raise kind children.
How about that?
Today's parents can see howsome troubled teens are turning
to devastating acts of violencebecause they see no other way.
Consequently, parents want tomake sure they are doing
(03:39):
everything in their power toraise happy, healthy, kind
children and their power toraise happy, healthy, kind
children.
And Teresa Ramirez can help you, as a parent, to do that
through her divinely inspiredvideo messages, blog posts and
fun with bubbles.
I'm going to have to ask aboutthat one Style.
She's here to encourage parentsto be the CEO of their families
(04:04):
, culting an atmosphere of fun,happy moments with their
children through acts ofkindness.
Welcome to the show, teresa.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I'm so happy to be here, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And parents these days, they need the hope that
you can give them right, becauseevery parent is out there going
oh my God, what if?
And that might be just you knowwhat's the word Second nature
to parenting right, you know theparent.
(04:40):
I will never forget the onetime my wife and I got up and
one of our kids was gone.
He just left, he snuck outovernight.
I mean luckily there wasnothing really bad about it, he
just snuck out.
We had no idea where he was.
And you know what were ouroptions at that point.
We called all his friends, noneof them.
Well, they all said they didn'tknow where he was.
(05:01):
Maybe they did, maybe theydidn't, but said they didn't
know where he was.
Maybe they did, maybe theydidn't.
But in those days I could, wehad the ability to turn off his
phone service because he was onour account.
You have never seen somebodyget in touch with you so fast as
a kid whose phone service hasjust turned off.
But yeah, I mean, it's a scarytime to be a parent, but you're
(05:27):
here to help.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I am here to help.
I am here to help and it is ascary time, but I think you know
we're kind of getting into theback to school time.
We're getting close to that,because people go back now
August 1st oh really, becausepeople go back now August 1st?
Oh really, yeah, some Kentuckyschools do, but we just have to
(05:50):
be intentional.
It just comes down to oh, but Ido that, I'm nice, I'm kind,
but you need to start putting itinto practice, being
intentional about it.
I encourage parents become theCEO of your families and you
determine the values andphilosophies you want to instill
(06:11):
in your kids and you want themwalking out the door on a high
note.
You know, feeling good aboutthemselves, and then they're
going to treat others the same.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, they will.
How did we get here?
How did you end up working inthis space?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I.
There was a school shooting in2018 in Parkland, florida.
Now, no, I did not know anybodyin it, but I do believe God
said no, we can do better, yougot to do something.
So I just kind of grieved andsympathized and I know that
particular one.
They were really fighting tochange laws, they wanted to
(06:50):
change policies in the schools,but that all takes a lot of time
and the kids don't have controlover that.
So I said let's empower thekids.
Let's tell them to go sit withthat kid that's sitting alone
eating lunch at the lunch table.
Or okay, somebody's just dumpedtheir backpack all over the
(07:11):
floor.
Okay, let's not laugh.
Let's help them pick up thestuff.
You know those simple things.
So how you know, and remindthem how do you want to be
treated.
If something happens, how doyou want to be treated?
And that is empowering the kidsto be kind to each other, which
(07:32):
makes a huge improvement in theenvironment in their schools.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Absolutely it does.
I don't want to say most, but Idon't have the actual stats.
But it seems to me that a lotof these school shooters were
outsiders.
Right, they were bullied pickedon as I understand it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yes, yes, and you also have to look into the
suicide rate, which is alsodevastating, but it goes hand in
hand.
Sadly, the two go together.
So how are you treating and Iknow this is not a popular
opinion, but what's going onwith that bully's life?
(08:20):
And people don't look at thebully, they're just thinking
he's this awful kid.
Well, he didn't get to be theawful kid all by himself.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
He wasn't born that way.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He wasn't born that way.
So what happened and how areyou treating him?
And you can flip that and Ihave some ideas on how to work
on flipping that.
And then you know the samething with the suicide rate that
kid was so low, why and this iswhere you know your parents one
of my techniques I do withparents is are you checking in
(08:52):
with your kids every day?
Are you asking them threequestions what's the best thing
that happened to you today?
What's the thing that you'renot so crazy about, that
happened today and what made youlaugh?
Those are three check, easypeasy check-in questions.
You can ask while you'redriving them to their 101
(09:15):
extracurricular activitieswhether you're sitting across to
the dinner table.
You know when there's a quiettime just before bedtime.
Those are great time to answerand there are three easy
questions and that helps you, asa parent, check in with your
child.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And I, you know, I think I was guilty of that a
little bit, or not that notdoing that or not that not doing
that.
And because every kid goesthrough that point right where
they don't want to talk abouttheir day, they'll get pushback,
(09:53):
you know, like oh mom, theseare dumb.
Or oh, dad, I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to talkabout it, I just want to.
I mean, is there an answer tothat?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, yeah, because I did have one parent said after
about a week of it, the kids arelike, do we have to do this
every night?
And you know so.
Then okay, so break it up.
Don't do it at the dinner table, do it while you're driving in
the car, you know.
Or if you're, you know you'reblessed to be able to take a
walk or do a fun activity,whatever that may be, as a
(10:24):
family.
Do it then.
So just kind of shake it up,okay.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I always say it's your work.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, don't make it so much of a routine.
Yeah, yeah, Okay all right.
Yeah, and also another technique.
So I know we're probablygetting ahead of myself.
But gratitude, make sure and Isay at night time, sit down and
you have your own list as aparent, you have your list, sit
(10:55):
down, the two of you together.
You have your children, youhave you.
You both make gratitude listsso that they're seeing that
there's some good things thathappened that you can be
grateful for.
And if it comes down to I'vegot a roof over my head, food on
the table, we get back down tobasics, then that's what you do,
but then you can build from it,because then, once you get in
(11:17):
practice, you'll start seeing ohyeah, that was a good thing
that happened.
Oh yeah, yeah, I did get an Aon that math test.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah for sure, and you know if you're making it
alongside them and they maybefeel stuck a little bit um, I
know sometimes it can.
It can be hard sometimes tomake up a list every single day.
I had a friend who said shenever used a journal at all and
then she said she forced herself.
(11:49):
She said one day I just woke upI said write down three things
that I'm grateful for today.
And she did it that day and shedid it the next day and then
she said it was like it improvedmy mood and my mental health so
much because I was writing,filling out pages of journals
(12:11):
every morning, of things that Iwas grateful for.
And it really does come thateasy once you start doing it
intentionally, right.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Awesome.
So I was going to ask you howearly can we start this?
I don't want to say it's nottraining, but this program for
kids, I mean toddlers don't whenthey're babies?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Um, yeah, because I'm actually talking to a group in
September.
So, yeah, you can start whenthey're babies.
Because what are you saying tothem?
Your words?
People do not always realize.
Your words have a lot of power.
So what are you saying?
You're, you're baby, you'reyou're, you're smart, you're
important, you are the bestthing that's ever happened to me
(13:06):
, you light up my life, allthose things.
And as the kids get older, youcan start putting the sticky
notes on the mirror or on theirbedroom doors.
Or, you know, my favorite isthey've been studying for the
dreaded math test all week.
Stick the note in the backpack,you've got this, you know.
(13:26):
So words, I love that.
So words, used as a parent.
It starts with words and thenit goes into the actions.
But words are where you want tostart, and that can start the
day they're born.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think the earlier you start,
the bigger impact.
You have right, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Because by the time they get into grade school, by
the time they're six, you'vereally formed their character
foundation, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and they're more likely to see that kid
sitting by himself, Whereas ifthey did not have that positive
interaction prior to going toschool, they might not notice
him or could be hurt.
Yeah, it's.
(14:23):
I've often said you know howmuch just kind words can change
somebody's world, and if we canteach our kids to just be that
person.
Almost all of my social mediaposts I posted with the podcast,
(14:44):
I always throw in the hashtagbe the change, Because we all
should be striving to be thechange that we want to see in
the world.
And that goes for kids too,right, If they want to see a
better world for themselves togo up in, and maybe it's not a
(15:04):
big thing, but they can make adifference in somebody else's
life just by listening or havinglunch with them.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I have a perfect example of in my early kindness
journey and I didn't reallyrealize what impact I was going
to have.
But I had gone to lunch with afriend and the server comes up
to the table what do you want?
And we're like um, we've got acouple of questions about the
menu.
(15:34):
I don't know.
I was told to come over andtake your order.
What do you want?
And we're like yeah, and it wasthat bad, it was probably a
little worse.
We're like we placed our order,we got our food, everything was
fine.
But I don't think she ever cameover and refilled a coffee or
water or anything and at the endof the meal she slams the bill
(15:55):
down and that was it.
And we're like okay, so this iswhere intentional kindness
comes in.
I didn't know it at the time.
I've got a name for it now myfriend and I are sitting there.
We had every right to call overthat manager and complain.
I mean, she was mad and youknow I'm just like let's try
(16:17):
something else.
So we went ahead and paid her,left her a normal tip.
We didn't delete that oranything.
We left her the tip and on thereceipt I put a smiley face and
wrote you were designed to shine, Just gathered up our stuff,
walked on out the door.
Well, lo and behold, she chasedus out into the parking lot.
(16:40):
Oh thank you.
She had tears, thank you.
I really needed to hear thattoday.
Love that.
We got on our heels and wentback in and my friend and I get
in the car and we're like whoknew?
Just, you know, my just asimple thing written on a
receipt and it turned her dayaround and we always think we
(17:04):
probably saved a few customers,future customers, from having
the same experience we did.
Yeah, that's it.
But that's where theintentionality comes in and you
know you're and as you're,making kindness a foundation and
it's natural, breathing.
Those kind of things comeeasier.
It's going to flow morenaturally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Because you had a choice in that moment.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
We had a huge yes.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And you could have you would have been perfectly
justified to go with either.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, no one would have faulted us for complaining,
but we chose another route.
No, I had at the time had noidea what was going to happen.
If it made any difference, thenI was pleasantly surprised that
we did make a difference, andwe made a big difference.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, I love that.
Is there a way to develop thatintentional way of thinking,
because I kind of see you as anexpert here in this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yes, and it is.
And I post on my stuff allthese acts of kindness that come
in because you have to, andpeople say, well, I'm kind all
the time.
I said you've got to beintentional, because with
intentionality comes consistency, comes building that foundation
and making it as natural asbreathing.
(18:26):
And that's what we want.
We want it to just kind of flowand, and that's just.
You know I say starting thekids off with the kind words,
going out the door, yoursignificant other, the note on
their coffee mug, you lighten,you brighten my life, or you
know I love you.
Whatever the case may be,whatever you want to put it, you
(18:48):
know it's personal, it'sbetween you two, but you're
lifting each other up in yourown home, under your own roof,
before you even step out thedoor, and that's where it starts
.
And then you can go and be kindto coworkers, bus drivers,
carpool drivers, the principal,and I always say don't forget
(19:11):
the invisible people, and that'syour cafeteria workers, your
custodians.
We would be lost without them,but we never, don't always,
speak to them.
I mean just a smile and hellowould brighten their day.
But you just have to get up inthe morning and say, okay, this
is where I'm going and keep andwhere can I look for
(19:34):
opportunities to be kind and itcan be.
And the sticky notes with yourhome life.
That's wonderful.
What you say to each other athome, that's where you want to
start.
But the simplest act ofkindness you can do once you're
out the door is just smile andsay hello.
And I'll tell you an example Ihave of that.
(19:57):
How impactful it is is a friendof mine worked in a parking
garage and smile good morning,whatever.
Every time.
Every morning his regularswould come in and then he went
on vacation for two weeks.
They came back and his regularsare like where have you been?
(20:18):
I have had the worst two weeksof my life.
Your good morning and your smileStarts my day off right and I
always feel good going off tothe office and he came back to
me one day.
It was so cute.
He said you kindness, lady.
He said you always told methere was an impact and he said
(20:39):
I never understood what youmeant until it's someone showed
it to me.
And that's doesn't costanything and and it's so simple.
So start there.
You know that's the challengefor everybody.
Listening is start by sayinghello and smile at everybody you
(21:01):
encounter and that gets thingsstarted and gets in your brain
and before you know it, you'regoing to be making it as natural
as breathing.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
And that's the payoff .
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Go ahead, you're done .
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Then we can go into the payoff, which is like the
restaurant example.
Or I can do the road rageexample.
It doesn't work over well, itdoesn't translate well on audio,
but road rage example.
Um doesn't work over well, itdoesn't translate well on audio,
but road rage.
There's no room in your journeyand kindness for road rage.
And the person sitting next toyou is next year's future driver
(21:39):
so they're watching everythingyou say, all your hand signals,
so you want to be aware of that.
I did have a situation where Idon't know what I did.
To this day.
I have no idea what I did.
But I'm pulling off on the exitramp, there's a red light, the
guy in front of me stops, getsout of his car and he's running
(22:03):
at me yelling and he's comingfor my car and I'm like my
goodness, and so I look and Ihappen to have this in the car
Don't ask why and I put on a redcleft lip and then I'm just
waiting through the windshieldgoing please stop, he couldn't
(22:24):
stop that, oh my God.
And I still, to this day, wonderwhat he told people when he got
where he was going about thecrazy lady with the crown on, so
he just stopped and turnedaround.
He stopped and was so, he wasproud.
You know, here I am thinking,please don't pull a gun out.
And he's probably thinking, oh,she's loony tunes, never mind
(22:56):
to for mine.
Um, but yeah, the use of humorin those situations again, this
is if you're making it up, youalready have the foundation, so
you've had to be intentional.
It made it easier for me to say, yeah, this might work, and it
did.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
um, yeah, and for whatever reason, you had a clown
nose in your car I, I.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's a long story, okay, but who knows that?
I now use it, and now there'sone in my car on, intentionally,
um, just in case I might needit for a situation you just
never know.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
No, I was going to say, talk to me about fun with
bubbles.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Fun with bubbles.
That is also part of yourfoundation, because, also, once
you've built your foundation, wehad to stop and think about the
waitress, about the server.
I had to stop and think on myfeet with the clown nose, but
that's your pause.
(23:57):
So, whatever you know, you'rein a confrontational situation.
You have got, instead ofreacting back in a, in a not
nice manner.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
You take a step back and take a deep breath and blow
it out.
Then, okay, how do I do I usedifferent words?
Can I use a one-liner?
Do you want you know?
What can I do to turn this?
Flip this around, and what Iencourage parents to do is to
(24:31):
get the blowing bubbles out andpractice with your kids, and you
have to take a deep breath andblow it out, and this is how you
get your kids to practicetaking a pause and it's fun, so
they're going to remember it andthe more you do it, the more
(24:53):
they're going to be able to takethat pause themselves when
they're in those awkward, stickysituations.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Love that.
Okay, can you talk to us aboutyour books?
Let's talk about your books.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I have a kindness journal.
So if you ever want to, this isalso helpful to making it as
natural as breathing is.
I have a kindness journal whereyou can log every day your acts
of kindness that day and youcan also put your gratitude in
there as well.
But that's how reinforcesmaking it as natural as
breathing.
And then I have my book raisingkind children and it's it's an
(25:34):
award-winning book and, yes, I'mgoing to brag because I'm
really proud of it.
Do it you should be but this isthe process and it's quick breed
.
It's short and sweet,intentionally for parents, but
it's the process.
It's how do you build thefoundation, making it as a
natural, as breathing.
It's how can you bring in thecommunity, the soccer team,
(25:57):
women's ministries, thechildren's ministries, whatever
group you're at the chess club,bringing them together to say,
hey, let's do a food drive forthe food bank, let's gather,
let's collect new socks for thehomeless shelter.
And then from there it goesinto by using the three
(26:18):
techniques to be kind in thoseawkward, sticky situations,
because it's just theprogression, progression, and
the more you build, the betteryour foundation is, the easier
you're going to be to respondkindly in those um awkward
situations, sure, and I thinkI'm running short here a little
(26:41):
bit um, you volunteer, you dosome volunteer work too, right?
I do volunteer work at now at avariety of places.
I used to do one and um I I'vemoved and shifted, so I I now am
doing, you know, I'll do a soupkitchen.
I'll help with the church.
Do pass out sandwiches to thehomeless um I donate a lot like.
(27:07):
I clean my closet out regularlyand donate to the local
charities.
Helps us both out.
So yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Okay, fantastic.
So the website is.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Journeyinkindnesscom.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
All one word, all one word.
Well, with the exception ofthecom, all one word All one
word.
Well, with the exception ofthecom, we will have that link
in the in the show notes, andwe'll also know.
I have one thing you can getthe book there too.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
The book is on Amazon and you'll post the links, but
I did want to also offer yourlisteners 75 Acts of Kindness.
It's a freebie to download andit's a graduation of you know,
starting with a smile and helloto planting trees to be kind to
(28:02):
the planet and you as a family.
If you don't know where tostart on your journey in
kindness, then this is a greatlist and you can sit down and
decide as a family what are wegoing to do this week?
What are we going to do today?
That's fantastic and, like Isaid, it graduates to planting
trees to be kind of clean.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That is so fantastic.
Do they have to do anything toget that?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah, there is the link that we will provide,
perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Perfect, perfect.
Teresa, thank you so much fortaking the time to come on and
talk about this, because my kidsare grown my youngest has
turned 30 last December, so Imean and he's probably not
having kids.
But anyway, I know as a parent,you know these are the things
(28:53):
that we worry about, and peoplelike you who can lead us, who
can show us a way to make apositive difference, because
when we make a positivedifference in our own kids'
lives, they go out and make apositive difference in somebody
else's life.
It's that whole ripple effectthing, right.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
It is, it is, and there's scientific proof to back
that up as well.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Nice, yes, so thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for being whoyou are and being on my show.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
It's been so much fun.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Perfect, we will talk again soon.
Your episode will be out onThursday, the 24th.
Wait, yes, no, yes, the 24th,I'm sorry, a week from tomorrow.
How about that?
Take care, and we will talkagain soon.
I want to thank you so much fortaking this time today to
(30:03):
listen to this episode with myguest, teresa Ramirez.
I hope you're able to takesomething positive from the time
you spent with us today.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll have better
conversations with your kids,maybe you'll be motivated.
Whatever that feeling is, ifyou experienced it, please
(30:25):
consider sharing this podcastwith your friends and family.
I'm always striving to offeryou a better podcast, so you
know, give me some feedback.
Let me know how you think I'mdoing.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Email me.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Leave a message On any of my socials, anywhere you
can find.
It would mean the world.
Also feel free to follow us onour social media pages like
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This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
(30:58):
If you have an idea for apodcast and need some production
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you're looking for a supportivenetwork to join, check out
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(31:21):
Radio Show, wake Up and Dreamwith D'Anthony Palin, staxo Pax
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We will be back again next weekwith a brand new episode and we
would be honored if you wouldjoin us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
(31:43):
Have a fantastic week.
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
ahead and follow us on all ofyour social media feeds.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
(00:42):
Check us out.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
Check us out and, in themeantime, so sit back, relax,
enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hello and welcome everybody tothe show.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
(01:02):
You chose to take 30 minutes orso out of your day to listen to
this podcast, and I just wantyou to know that I appreciate it
so much.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and if you find anything of
use in this show, if you findsomething relative or relatable
(01:24):
in this show, don't be shy, goahead and share this show with
all of your friends, your familyand co-workers.
What have you Let them knowthat you found a show that you
found relatable or that made youfeel good Because that's what
we're here to do, right.
That made you feel good,because that's what we're here
(01:45):
to do, right.
So today we're going to talkabout something that will make
every parent cringe just alittle bit, and that is juvenile
crime rates.
First, the good news Arrests ofjuveniles have significantly
(02:05):
decreased since the early 1990s,with a notable drop in property
crime arrests.
Great news.
Right Now for the bad news,because you can't have good news
.
We're all about balance here,right?
Some areas of juvenile crimeare trending up instead of down.
(02:30):
For example, there's anoticeable increase in offending
among younger juveniles, age 10to 14, compared to juveniles
ages 15 to 17.
In particular, there's a risein firearm involvement in crimes
, and juvenile homicide is up awhopping 65% from 2016 to 2022.
(02:57):
But before you lose hope andyou go, I don't need to listen
to that negativity.
Stop, because I have.
My guest today is Teresa Ramirez, and she is a motivation
speaker, a best-selling author,an award-winning author and a
(03:18):
kindness ambassador for lovingparents who want to raise kids,
raise kind children.
How about that?
Today's parents can see howsome troubled teens are turning
to devastating acts of violencebecause they see no other way.
Consequently, parents want tomake sure they are doing
(03:39):
everything in their power toraise happy, healthy, kind
children and their power toraise happy, healthy, kind
children.
And Teresa Ramirez can help you, as a parent, to do that
through her divinely inspiredvideo messages, blog posts and
fun with bubbles.
I'm going to have to ask aboutthat one Style.
She's here to encourage parentsto be the CEO of their families
(04:04):
, culting an atmosphere of fun,happy moments with their
children through acts ofkindness.
Welcome to the show, teresa.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I'm so happy to be here, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
And parents these days, they need the hope that
you can give them right, becauseevery parent is out there going
oh my God, what if?
And that might be just you knowwhat's the word Second nature
to parenting right, you know theparent.
(04:40):
I will never forget the onetime my wife and I got up and
one of our kids was gone.
He just left, he snuck outovernight.
I mean luckily there wasnothing really bad about it, he
just snuck out.
We had no idea where he was.
And you know what were ouroptions at that point.
We called all his friends, noneof them.
Well, they all said they didn'tknow where he was.
(05:01):
Maybe they did, maybe theydidn't, but said they didn't
know where he was.
Maybe they did, maybe theydidn't.
But in those days I could, wehad the ability to turn off his
phone service because he was onour account.
You have never seen somebodyget in touch with you so fast as
a kid whose phone service hasjust turned off.
But yeah, I mean, it's a scarytime to be a parent, but you're
(05:27):
here to help.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I am here to help.
I am here to help and it is ascary time, but I think you know
we're kind of getting into theback to school time.
We're getting close to that,because people go back now
August 1st oh really, becausepeople go back now August 1st?
Oh really, yeah, some Kentuckyschools do, but we just have to
(05:50):
be intentional.
It just comes down to oh, but Ido that, I'm nice, I'm kind,
but you need to start putting itinto practice, being
intentional about it.
I encourage parents become theCEO of your families and you
determine the values andphilosophies you want to instill
(06:11):
in your kids and you want themwalking out the door on a high
note.
You know, feeling good aboutthemselves, and then they're
going to treat others the same.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, they will.
How did we get here?
How did you end up working inthis space?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I.
There was a school shooting in2018 in Parkland, florida.
Now, no, I did not know anybodyin it, but I do believe God
said no, we can do better, yougot to do something.
So I just kind of grieved andsympathized and I know that
particular one.
They were really fighting tochange laws, they wanted to
(06:50):
change policies in the schools,but that all takes a lot of time
and the kids don't have controlover that.
So I said let's empower thekids.
Let's tell them to go sit withthat kid that's sitting alone
eating lunch at the lunch table.
Or okay, somebody's just dumpedtheir backpack all over the
(07:11):
floor.
Okay, let's not laugh.
Let's help them pick up thestuff.
You know those simple things.
So how you know, and remindthem how do you want to be
treated.
If something happens, how doyou want to be treated?
And that is empowering the kidsto be kind to each other, which
(07:32):
makes a huge improvement in theenvironment in their schools.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Absolutely it does.
I don't want to say most, but Idon't have the actual stats.
But it seems to me that a lotof these school shooters were
outsiders.
Right, they were bullied pickedon as I understand it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yes, yes, and you also have to look into the
suicide rate, which is alsodevastating, but it goes hand in
hand.
Sadly, the two go together.
So how are you treating and Iknow this is not a popular
opinion, but what's going onwith that bully's life?
(08:20):
And people don't look at thebully, they're just thinking
he's this awful kid.
Well, he didn't get to be theawful kid all by himself.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
He wasn't born that way.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He wasn't born that way.
So what happened and how areyou treating him?
And you can flip that and Ihave some ideas on how to work
on flipping that.
And then you know the samething with the suicide rate that
kid was so low, why and this iswhere you know your parents one
of my techniques I do withparents is are you checking in
(08:52):
with your kids every day?
Are you asking them threequestions what's the best thing
that happened to you today?
What's the thing that you'renot so crazy about, that
happened today and what made youlaugh?
Those are three check, easypeasy check-in questions.
You can ask while you'redriving them to their 101
(09:15):
extracurricular activitieswhether you're sitting across to
the dinner table.
You know when there's a quiettime just before bedtime.
Those are great time to answerand there are three easy
questions and that helps you, asa parent, check in with your
child.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And I, you know, I think I was guilty of that a
little bit, or not that notdoing that or not that not doing
that.
And because every kid goesthrough that point right where
they don't want to talk abouttheir day, they'll get pushback,
(09:53):
you know, like oh mom, theseare dumb.
Or oh, dad, I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to talkabout it, I just want to.
I mean, is there an answer tothat?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, yeah, because I did have one parent said after
about a week of it, the kids arelike, do we have to do this
every night?
And you know so.
Then okay, so break it up.
Don't do it at the dinner table, do it while you're driving in
the car, you know.
Or if you're, you know you'reblessed to be able to take a
walk or do a fun activity,whatever that may be, as a
(10:24):
family.
Do it then.
So just kind of shake it up,okay.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
I always say it's your work.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, don't make it so much of a routine.
Yeah, yeah, Okay all right.
Yeah, and also another technique.
So I know we're probablygetting ahead of myself.
But gratitude, make sure and Isay at night time, sit down and
you have your own list as aparent, you have your list, sit
(10:55):
down, the two of you together.
You have your children, youhave you.
You both make gratitude listsso that they're seeing that
there's some good things thathappened that you can be
grateful for.
And if it comes down to I'vegot a roof over my head, food on
the table, we get back down tobasics, then that's what you do,
but then you can build from it,because then, once you get in
(11:17):
practice, you'll start seeing ohyeah, that was a good thing
that happened.
Oh yeah, yeah, I did get an Aon that math test.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah for sure, and you know if you're making it
alongside them and they maybefeel stuck a little bit um, I
know sometimes it can.
It can be hard sometimes tomake up a list every single day.
I had a friend who said shenever used a journal at all and
then she said she forced herself.
(11:49):
She said one day I just woke upI said write down three things
that I'm grateful for today.
And she did it that day and shedid it the next day and then
she said it was like it improvedmy mood and my mental health so
much because I was writing,filling out pages of journals
(12:11):
every morning, of things that Iwas grateful for.
And it really does come thateasy once you start doing it
intentionally, right.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Awesome.
So I was going to ask you howearly can we start this?
I don't want to say it's nottraining, but this program for
kids, I mean toddlers don't whenthey're babies?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Um, yeah, because I'm actually talking to a group in
September.
So, yeah, you can start whenthey're babies.
Because what are you saying tothem?
Your words?
People do not always realize.
Your words have a lot of power.
So what are you saying?
You're, you're baby, you'reyou're, you're smart, you're
important, you are the bestthing that's ever happened to me
(13:06):
, you light up my life, allthose things.
And as the kids get older, youcan start putting the sticky
notes on the mirror or on theirbedroom doors.
Or, you know, my favorite isthey've been studying for the
dreaded math test all week.
Stick the note in the backpack,you've got this, you know.
(13:26):
So words, I love that.
So words, used as a parent.
It starts with words and thenit goes into the actions.
But words are where you want tostart, and that can start the
day they're born.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think the earlier you start,
the bigger impact.
You have right, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Because by the time they get into grade school, by
the time they're six, you'vereally formed their character
foundation, so to speak.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, and they're more likely to see that kid
sitting by himself, Whereas ifthey did not have that positive
interaction prior to going toschool, they might not notice
him or could be hurt.
Yeah, it's.
(14:23):
I've often said you know howmuch just kind words can change
somebody's world, and if we canteach our kids to just be that
person.
Almost all of my social mediaposts I posted with the podcast,
(14:44):
I always throw in the hashtagbe the change, Because we all
should be striving to be thechange that we want to see in
the world.
And that goes for kids too,right, If they want to see a
better world for themselves togo up in, and maybe it's not a
(15:04):
big thing, but they can make adifference in somebody else's
life just by listening or havinglunch with them.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I have a perfect example of in my early kindness
journey and I didn't reallyrealize what impact I was going
to have.
But I had gone to lunch with afriend and the server comes up
to the table what do you want?
And we're like um, we've got acouple of questions about the
menu.
(15:34):
I don't know.
I was told to come over andtake your order.
What do you want?
And we're like yeah, and it wasthat bad, it was probably a
little worse.
We're like we placed our order,we got our food, everything was
fine.
But I don't think she ever cameover and refilled a coffee or
water or anything and at the endof the meal she slams the bill
(15:55):
down and that was it.
And we're like okay, so this iswhere intentional kindness
comes in.
I didn't know it at the time.
I've got a name for it now myfriend and I are sitting there.
We had every right to call overthat manager and complain.
I mean, she was mad and youknow I'm just like let's try
(16:17):
something else.
So we went ahead and paid her,left her a normal tip.
We didn't delete that oranything.
We left her the tip and on thereceipt I put a smiley face and
wrote you were designed to shine, Just gathered up our stuff,
walked on out the door.
Well, lo and behold, she chasedus out into the parking lot.
(16:40):
Oh thank you.
She had tears, thank you.
I really needed to hear thattoday.
Love that.
We got on our heels and wentback in and my friend and I get
in the car and we're like whoknew?
Just, you know, my just asimple thing written on a
receipt and it turned her dayaround and we always think we
(17:04):
probably saved a few customers,future customers, from having
the same experience we did.
Yeah, that's it.
But that's where theintentionality comes in and you
know you're and as you're,making kindness a foundation and
it's natural, breathing.
Those kind of things comeeasier.
It's going to flow morenaturally.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Because you had a choice in that moment.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
We had a huge yes.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And you could have you would have been perfectly
justified to go with either.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, no one would have faulted us for complaining,
but we chose another route.
No, I had at the time had noidea what was going to happen.
If it made any difference, thenI was pleasantly surprised that
we did make a difference, andwe made a big difference.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, I love that.
Is there a way to develop thatintentional way of thinking,
because I kind of see you as anexpert here in this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yes, and it is.
And I post on my stuff allthese acts of kindness that come
in because you have to, andpeople say, well, I'm kind all
the time.
I said you've got to beintentional, because with
intentionality comes consistency, comes building that foundation
and making it as natural asbreathing.
(18:26):
And that's what we want.
We want it to just kind of flowand, and that's just.
You know I say starting thekids off with the kind words,
going out the door, yoursignificant other, the note on
their coffee mug, you lighten,you brighten my life, or you
know I love you.
Whatever the case may be,whatever you want to put it, you
(18:48):
know it's personal, it'sbetween you two, but you're
lifting each other up in yourown home, under your own roof,
before you even step out thedoor, and that's where it starts
.
And then you can go and be kindto coworkers, bus drivers,
carpool drivers, the principal,and I always say don't forget
(19:11):
the invisible people, and that'syour cafeteria workers, your
custodians.
We would be lost without them,but we never, don't always,
speak to them.
I mean just a smile and hellowould brighten their day.
But you just have to get up inthe morning and say, okay, this
is where I'm going and keep andwhere can I look for
(19:34):
opportunities to be kind and itcan be.
And the sticky notes with yourhome life.
That's wonderful.
What you say to each other athome, that's where you want to
start.
But the simplest act ofkindness you can do once you're
out the door is just smile andsay hello.
And I'll tell you an example Ihave of that.
(19:57):
How impactful it is is a friendof mine worked in a parking
garage and smile good morning,whatever.
Every time.
Every morning his regularswould come in and then he went
on vacation for two weeks.
They came back and his regularsare like where have you been?
(20:18):
I have had the worst two weeksof my life.
Your good morning and your smileStarts my day off right and I
always feel good going off tothe office and he came back to
me one day.
It was so cute.
He said you kindness, lady.
He said you always told methere was an impact and he said
(20:39):
I never understood what youmeant until it's someone showed
it to me.
And that's doesn't costanything and and it's so simple.
So start there.
You know that's the challengefor everybody.
Listening is start by sayinghello and smile at everybody you
(21:01):
encounter and that gets thingsstarted and gets in your brain
and before you know it, you'regoing to be making it as natural
as breathing.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
And that's the payoff .
Speaker 2 (21:12):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Go ahead, you're done .
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Then we can go into the payoff, which is like the
restaurant example.
Or I can do the road rageexample.
It doesn't work over well, itdoesn't translate well on audio,
but road rage example.
Um doesn't work over well, itdoesn't translate well on audio,
but road rage.
There's no room in your journeyand kindness for road rage.
And the person sitting next toyou is next year's future driver
(21:39):
so they're watching everythingyou say, all your hand signals,
so you want to be aware of that.
I did have a situation where Idon't know what I did.
To this day.
I have no idea what I did.
But I'm pulling off on the exitramp, there's a red light, the
guy in front of me stops, getsout of his car and he's running
(22:03):
at me yelling and he's comingfor my car and I'm like my
goodness, and so I look and Ihappen to have this in the car
Don't ask why and I put on a redcleft lip and then I'm just
waiting through the windshieldgoing please stop, he couldn't
(22:24):
stop that, oh my God.
And I still, to this day, wonderwhat he told people when he got
where he was going about thecrazy lady with the crown on, so
he just stopped and turnedaround.
He stopped and was so, he wasproud.
You know, here I am thinking,please don't pull a gun out.
And he's probably thinking, oh,she's loony tunes, never mind
(22:56):
to for mine.
Um, but yeah, the use of humorin those situations again, this
is if you're making it up, youalready have the foundation, so
you've had to be intentional.
It made it easier for me to say, yeah, this might work, and it
did.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
um, yeah, and for whatever reason, you had a clown
nose in your car I, I.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's a long story, okay, but who knows that?
I now use it, and now there'sone in my car on, intentionally,
um, just in case I might needit for a situation you just
never know.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
No, I was going to say, talk to me about fun with
bubbles.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Fun with bubbles.
That is also part of yourfoundation, because, also, once
you've built your foundation, wehad to stop and think about the
waitress, about the server.
I had to stop and think on myfeet with the clown nose, but
that's your pause.
(23:57):
So, whatever you know, you'rein a confrontational situation.
You have got, instead ofreacting back in a, in a not
nice manner.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
You take a step back and take a deep breath and blow
it out.
Then, okay, how do I do I usedifferent words?
Can I use a one-liner?
Do you want you know?
What can I do to turn this?
Flip this around, and what Iencourage parents to do is to
(24:31):
get the blowing bubbles out andpractice with your kids, and you
have to take a deep breath andblow it out, and this is how you
get your kids to practicetaking a pause and it's fun, so
they're going to remember it andthe more you do it, the more
(24:53):
they're going to be able to takethat pause themselves when
they're in those awkward, stickysituations.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Love that.
Okay, can you talk to us aboutyour books?
Let's talk about your books.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I have a kindness journal.
So if you ever want to, this isalso helpful to making it as
natural as breathing is.
I have a kindness journal whereyou can log every day your acts
of kindness that day and youcan also put your gratitude in
there as well.
But that's how reinforcesmaking it as natural as
breathing.
And then I have my book raisingkind children and it's it's an
(25:34):
award-winning book and, yes, I'mgoing to brag because I'm
really proud of it.
Do it you should be but this isthe process and it's quick breed
.
It's short and sweet,intentionally for parents, but
it's the process.
It's how do you build thefoundation, making it as a
natural, as breathing.
It's how can you bring in thecommunity, the soccer team,
(25:57):
women's ministries, thechildren's ministries, whatever
group you're at the chess club,bringing them together to say,
hey, let's do a food drive forthe food bank, let's gather,
let's collect new socks for thehomeless shelter.
And then from there it goesinto by using the three
(26:18):
techniques to be kind in thoseawkward, sticky situations,
because it's just theprogression, progression, and
the more you build, the betteryour foundation is, the easier
you're going to be to respondkindly in those um awkward
situations, sure, and I thinkI'm running short here a little
(26:41):
bit um, you volunteer, you dosome volunteer work too, right?
I do volunteer work at now at avariety of places.
I used to do one and um I I'vemoved and shifted, so I I now am
doing, you know, I'll do a soupkitchen.
I'll help with the church.
Do pass out sandwiches to thehomeless um I donate a lot like.
(27:07):
I clean my closet out regularlyand donate to the local
charities.
Helps us both out.
So yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Okay, fantastic.
So the website is.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Journeyinkindnesscom.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
All one word, all one word.
Well, with the exception ofthecom, all one word All one
word.
Well, with the exception ofthecom, we will have that link
in the in the show notes, andwe'll also know.
I have one thing you can getthe book there too.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
The book is on Amazon and you'll post the links, but
I did want to also offer yourlisteners 75 Acts of Kindness.
It's a freebie to download andit's a graduation of you know,
starting with a smile and helloto planting trees to be kind to
(28:02):
the planet and you as a family.
If you don't know where tostart on your journey in
kindness, then this is a greatlist and you can sit down and
decide as a family what are wegoing to do this week?
What are we going to do today?
That's fantastic and, like Isaid, it graduates to planting
trees to be kind of clean.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That is so fantastic.
Do they have to do anything toget that?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah, there is the link that we will provide,
perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Perfect, perfect.
Teresa, thank you so much fortaking the time to come on and
talk about this, because my kidsare grown my youngest has
turned 30 last December, so Imean and he's probably not
having kids.
But anyway, I know as a parent,you know these are the things
(28:53):
that we worry about, and peoplelike you who can lead us, who
can show us a way to make apositive difference, because
when we make a positivedifference in our own kids'
lives, they go out and make apositive difference in somebody
else's life.
It's that whole ripple effectthing, right.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
It is, it is, and there's scientific proof to back
that up as well.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Nice, yes, so thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for being whoyou are and being on my show.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
It's been so much fun.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Perfect, we will talk again soon.
Your episode will be out onThursday, the 24th.
Wait, yes, no, yes, the 24th,I'm sorry, a week from tomorrow.
How about that?
Take care, and we will talkagain soon.
I want to thank you so much fortaking this time today to
(30:03):
listen to this episode with myguest, teresa Ramirez.
I hope you're able to takesomething positive from the time
you spent with us today.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll have better
conversations with your kids,maybe you'll be motivated.
Whatever that feeling is, ifyou experienced it, please
(30:25):
consider sharing this podcastwith your friends and family.
I'm always striving to offeryou a better podcast, so you
know, give me some feedback.
Let me know how you think I'mdoing.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Email me.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Leave a message On any of my socials, anywhere you
can find.
It would mean the world.
Also feel free to follow us onour social media pages like
Facebook, instagram, linkedinand TikTok.
This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
(30:58):
If you have an idea for apodcast and need some production
assistance, or have a podcastalready and you're looking for a
supportive network to join,have a podcast already and
you're looking for a supportivenetwork to join, check out
MaydayMediaNetworkcom and checkout the many different shows
like Afrocentric Spoil, my MovieGeneration Mixtape In a Pickle
(31:21):
Radio Show, wake Up and Dreamwith D'Anthony Palin, staxo Pax
and the Time Pals with D'AnthonyPalin, stax Opaques and the
Time Pals.
We will be back again next weekwith a brand new episode and we
would be honored if you wouldjoin us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
(31:43):
Have a fantastic week.
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