June 5, 2025 • 27 mins
What if a simple collection of sayings could transform your relationship with anxiety and confidence? Bret Davis, bestselling author of Bretisms: Adopted, Borrowed, and Modified Philosophies For a Life With Less Anxiety and More Confidence joins us to share how everyday philosophies can create profound shifts in how we experience life.
Bret's journey from door-to-door salesman to medical executive demonstrates the power of these principles in action. What began as casual life lessons for his sons evolved into a board at home where his family documented his most impactful sayings. These weren't just clever phrases but practical philosophies that reduced stress and built confidence. As Bret's career advanced into leadership roles, he realized these sayings weren't just valuable for his children – they were helping adults navigate professional challenges and personal struggles.
We explore several standout Bretisms during our conversation, including "You can't trip over what's behind you" – a powerful reminder to stop dwelling on past mistakes or hurts. Bret emphasizes that while we might need to apologize for past actions, we must also learn to forgive ourselves and others to move forward effectively. This philosophy has proven especially meaningful for those in addiction recovery.
Another profound concept Bret shares is "Hold yourself to at least the same level of accountability to which you hold others." He points out our tendency to judge ourselves by our intentions while judging others by their actions – a disparity that creates unnecessary conflict. By reversing this pattern, we develop greater empathy and forgiveness toward others.
Bret's morning routine exemplifies these philosophies in action, culminating in a simple yet powerful request: "Put me in a position to make somebody else's day special." This intentionality transforms ordinary interactions into opportunities for meaningful connection and service to others. As Bret reminds us, "This isn't a dress rehearsal" – we have one life to make special, both for ourselves and everyone we meet.
Want to bring these transformative philosophies to your community? Bret generously offers free copies of his book to those working with youth organizations, group homes, or educational settings who might benefit but lack budget. Connect with him through the website linked in our show notes.
This podcast is a proud member of the Mayday Media Network. If you have an idea for a podcast and need some production assistance or have a podcast and are looking for a supportive network to join, check out maydaymedianetwork.com.
Like what you hear on the podcast? Follow our social media for more uplifting, inspirational and feel-good content.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
ahead and follow us on all ofyour social media feeds.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
(00:42):
Check us out.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
Check us out and, in themeantime, so sit back, relax,
enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hey, hello everybody.
Welcome to the show.
I am your host, mike Rathbun.
Thank you so much for having mein your ears for 30 minutes or
(01:04):
so.
You made that choice and Igenuinely, genuinely appreciate
it and thank you all for that.
I have a fantastic show for youtoday.
Just a quick reminder if youhear anything in this show that
is uplifting to you orinspirational or motivational,
(01:27):
it's probably all the fault ofmy guest, brett Davis, but go
ahead and share it anyway.
Let your friends know, let yourfamily know that you listen to
the Kindness Matters podcast andit makes you happy.
So, and since I mentioned myguest, my guest today is in fact
Brett Davis, and you might beasking yourself well, who's
(01:49):
Brett Davis?
Well, I'll tell you.
Brett Davis is a best-sellingauthor whose journey through
life has been marked byresilience, growth and an
unwavering commitment topersonal and professional
development.
With the steadfast support ofhis wife Kelly and an unwavering
commitment to personal andprofessional development, with
the steadfast support of hiswife Kelly and their two sons,
(02:11):
brent has achieved remarkablesuccess.
Starting as a door-to-doorsalesman, he ascended to
executive-level positions in themedical field, demonstrating
his exceptional ability toconnect with others and lead
with integrity.
And Brent's extensiveexperience in sales and his keen
(02:31):
insight into human behaviorhave inspired him to compile a
collection of sayings and lifelessons in his book Brentisms
Adopted, borrowed and ModifiedPhilosophies for a life with
less anxiety and more confidence.
These philosophies, whetheroriginal or adapted, have been
instrumental in reducing stressand building confidence in
(02:55):
Brett's life and the lives ofthose around them.
I'm sure they're going to beinstrumental in reducing your
stress as well today.
So welcome to the show, Brett.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Thanks, mike, and thanks for that great
introduction.
It's a pleasure and an honor tobe a guest on your show.
As a fan of your show, itreally is.
It's pretty cool to be a guest,so thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, that's very nice of you to say Nice.
That's a great way to start theshow.
I love that.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
So now these sayings and lifelessons.
And I do this too, and I'm likeyou know.
(03:39):
I love quotes, motivationalquotes, you know, whether it's
Dwyer or whomever, and Ioftentimes I'll save them, I'll
see a meme or I'll save it withthe quote on it.
But this is kind of handy,because you just gathered these
all up.
Did you modify some of them foryour own purposes?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, 100%.
Did you modify some of them foryour own purposes?
Or yeah, 100.
I mean, you know, as it kind ofsays, you know some some are
kind of you know ones that Iheard verbatim.
Some are just kind of sayingsor philosophies that that over
the years I've come up withmyself to help myself deal with
different emotions or differentsituations that I was in.
Um, and some you know I've kindof heard through the years and
(04:30):
thought you know I like it but Idon't love it.
For me, what would it look likeif I tweaked it this way or
that way to have kind of a moreprofound daily impact on not
only how the world sees me buthow I see the world and how I
treat others and others treat me?
(04:51):
So yeah, I mean the answer tothat question, mike, is yes to
all.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
All right, because and you've okay.
So first of all, I'm gettingway ahead of myself here you
initially wrote this as a bookfor your kids, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
That's correct.
When my two sons, blake andConnor, were born, there were
sayings, as they kind of gotolder, that I would repeat to
them you know, that which wetolerate, we allow to repeat,
right.
You know, that which wetolerate, we allow to repeat,
right.
If they or you know people willtreat you how you allow them to
, as they were kind of growingup, and they would come home and
(05:31):
be frustrated with you.
Know, little Johnny on the busshoved me.
Well, you're going to shove youagain if you continue to
tolerate it type lessons.
And it kind of came out, mike,my wife and kids had kind of
started, you know, teasing me alittle bit about all these
sayings, but by the same pointthey knew they were impactful
(05:52):
and there were some that theyliked and they started a board
and they wrote breadisms on itright, that's where the title of
the book came from and theywere breadisms, heredisms.
And I started writing the bookwhen they were very young, just
to kind of.
You know, these are the coreones that I think will serve
(06:14):
them throughout their lives.
And then, as my life journeycontinued and I became more of a
leader in a business sense, ina professional sense, along with
a youth athletic coach acrossmany different sports, I started
seeing how these sayings andsome of these philosophies were
not only helping a lot of theyoung adults that I was
impacting, but some of the olderadults that I was interacting
(06:37):
with on a business that eitherstruggled with, you know, maybe
somebody that I was working with, you know had had anxiety over
having to give a presentation,or had anxiety going into an
annual review.
Even though they were doing agreat job and they were rock
stars, they were still, you know, anxious over having to go, you
know, sit in front of theleadership and talk about what
(07:01):
they've accomplished that year.
So, you know, it starteddawning on me that you know, I'm
in a unique position, havingleaned on these, to overcome my
own anxiousness and my ownanxiety over the years, to be
able to build a true inner coreof confidence that has served me
(07:23):
very, very well.
You know, I'm a big believer inprotect your confidence at all
costs.
Of all the things that we have,the number one thing we should
always protect is our ownpersonal confidence in ourselves
, right?
So when that came to me, that'swhen I said you know what, I'm
going to get serious about thisand I'm going to finish this
(07:43):
book and publish it, and theintention of it was just that,
and I thought you know if I canhelp a dozen, 20 people with
this book outside of my normalsphere of influence.
The years it took me to write itand put it together would be
worth it.
And when it hit number one onAmazon on the bestseller list,
(08:07):
on both the paperback and Kindleversion, that was a humbling
day for sure and I thought wow,there's, you know, it's out
there now and hopefully it hasthe impact that was intended.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
It just goes to show that a book like that can do
real well, and maybe there weremore than a dozen or 20 people
that needed to hear that andthey found you?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, for sure, and that's been really the cool part
.
And even hearing from readers,because I put my email on the
back of the book, whicheverybody told me not to do.
But I want to hear from peopleand I want to hear the good, the
bad and the ugly and I tell tohear from people and I want to
hear the good, the bad and theugly and I tell everybody it's
an imperfect book written by animperfect author, and I love to
(08:54):
hear kind of the feedback andthe things that people got out
of it or didn't after reading it.
That's kind of my joy.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah for sure of kind of my joy, yeah for sure, um,
yeah, and it's just, it's socool because, like I say, I
there were so so many times whenI have leaned on a lot of these
things, and probably a lot ofthe ones that I used to lean on
are in your book.
Um, but, because what is theimportance of?
(09:26):
Now?
You've got this book set up acertain way so that you can read
it in a month.
Was it 30 seconds?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
yeah.
So I wrote because I'm not abig reader myself, so I kind of
wrote it for people like me,right, and I always tell people
they're like, oh man, I'd loveto read your book.
I'm just not a reader and I'mlike, well, funny, you should
say that, right, if you are areader, of course you're gonna
read it, right?
But, um, it's, there's 30chapters in it and that was
(09:56):
intentional.
So I've got probably 3,000breadisms, but, but the 30 that
I that I picked were for thatreason.
So it's written with theintention that you read a
chapter every day and thechapter might take you five, ten
minutes to get through.
And once you read that chapter,that saying and and the
(10:16):
philosophy and the why behind itand the psychology behind it,
allows you to marinate on that.
And because what I found overthe years, if I'm in a situation
and you talked earlier aboutleaning on quotes and
philosophies if you hear a bunchof them or you don't really
stop and marinate on it, thenwhen you need it you can't
(10:39):
recall it and you don't rememberit, right, right.
So the reason I wrote it thisway is really, at the end of 30
days, you've read one philosophya day, or one life lesson a day
.
And then what I've heard from anumber of readers since it was
published is, after that 30 daysis over, then, whether it's
(11:04):
with their morning coffee or atthe end of the day with their
glass of wine at the end of thenight, you know they'll pull
that book out and they knowwhich chapter to go to to help
them with the situation that'scurrently causing them anxiety
or stress, and then they'llreread just that chapter and
marinate on it again and again.
(11:25):
It's not because all of us arepressed for time, right?
So it's not something thatyou're going.
You know I don't have an hourto devote to reading this book.
You know I'd rather deal withthe anxiety, right?
So I don't know if that'snecessarily.
I get what you're coming from.
Yeah, but to me it's more likehey, listen in five or 10
minutes after you've digestedthe whole book, then you know
(11:48):
where to kind of go back andrecall what you need given on
what that day has thrown at youor what you think that day might
throw at you.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, because we could always use a little
reinforcement from time to time.
Right, yeah, absolutely.
And your 30 days, your 30chapters.
They kind of cover the gamut ofwhat somebody might need
spiritually or mentally to getover a situation.
(12:18):
What's an example of maybe onehere?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, so an example, probably one of the ones I get a
lot of the feedback on, is youcan't trip over what's behind
you.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Right.
So you know a lot of people.
You know when they're dealingwith something that's making
them anxious or have anxiety orlack of confidence, it usually
has to do with something that'shappened in their past.
Now something coming up in thefuture might trigger it, but
it's usually something thathappened in the past.
(12:52):
Just when it comes torelationships and dealing with
people, you know there might besomething that I did in the past
that I'm not proud of, right?
Maybe I wasn't kind to somebodywhen I could have been or
should have been, and you knowthat's still eating at me.
And then I have to realize, youknow what.
I can't trip over that again.
(13:14):
It's already behind me Now.
That doesn't mean that I don'towe that person an apology and
make sure I don't repeat theactions, right.
But I also need to learn toforgive myself after they've
forgiven me and say you knowwhat?
Or if somebody did something tome and I'm continuing to harbor
(13:34):
that anger maybe they didn'tapologize right and I'm
continuing to harbor that anger.
Maybe they didn't apologizeright, but I'm still allowing
them to control my emotions,which I'm not a fan of right.
I'm a fan of me controlling andme being in charge of my
emotions.
So that's one that's really onethat has a lot of feedback,
(13:56):
especially with folks, I think,that are struggling with some
sort of an addiction.
That's one that they've leanedon a lot to help them through it
.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh sure, Because, yeah, because we generally have
something in our past that we'renot fond of If you're human for
sure, right, right.
For sure.
That's so cool because and it'sfunny you should bring that up
because there is some I just theother day had an issue and
(14:26):
somebody months ago didsomething that made me unhappy
and I never said anything tothem about it.
They didn't know they upset me,so they didn't apologize.
And, yeah, that's been gnawingat me from the inside out and I
was just because we had talkedyou and I and I knew that quote
(14:48):
and I kept thinking you can'ttrip over what's behind you, let
it go.
So, yeah, thanks for that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And kind of on that theme, you know, when you kind
of you know, talk about theother person, the other thing
you know that may help you withthat particular one is, you know
, hold yourself to at least thesame level accountability to
which you hold others.
So you know what I mean by.
There is we kind of judgeourselves on our intentions or
(15:20):
what we meant to do.
We judge those around us bytheir actions and what they
actually did or did not do Right, and I talk about this in the
book and you know talk about.
You know kindness andforgiveness and all the things
that your show is based on.
You know, when you adopt thatmindset, you surely do give a
(15:40):
lot of people a break a lotfaster.
Because another way to look atit, you know how many times have
we done somethingunintentionally to hurt somebody
or said somebody.
It was unintentional, we didn'tmean to, we did right, but we
don't know that we owe them, andyou know.
So we're quick to forgiveourselves but not really quick
(16:03):
to forgive others, and I divereally deep into this.
It was one of my favoritechapters to write Because I
think it's so profound ingetting somebody kind of the all
the keys that I feel you needto build confidence and reduce
anxiety.
And it's doing those littlethings with an internal voice to
(16:26):
be kinder and gentler to thosearound us.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, for sure.
I couldn't agree more.
I was just going to ask youknow, and because really this
can make you feel this book willmake you a better person.
And if you don't buy it rightnow, no, but yeah, I can see how
(16:51):
reading this book could makeyou a better person, but also
kinder.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Well, mike, I think there's a chapter in the book
and when I wrote the chapter Icertainly got a little bit of
pushback from my publisher and Igot pushed back on a lot of
things from the publisher,that's what they're there for.
Again, I wrote the book to helppeople.
Not how many it sold was not my, was not a goal of mine.
Right, so, yeah, so you know,when you go into it kind of with
(17:25):
that mindset of you knowwriting it for that reason, you
know that's, that's what youkind of come up with.
Right is right, as you knowwhat does this look like.
But one of the chapters of thebook is, of course, I love
myself.
If I didn't, I would changeright.
So you about an arrogant,obnoxious statement to make
(17:47):
right, and it's a breadism andit's one that I make a lot Right
, and.
But when you read the chapter,kind of a light bulb goes off
and again this is feedback fromreaders that I've gotten.
You know where they're like, hey, that one chapter I was like
this guy's a bit of a full ofhimself, but then I read the
chapter and there was an ahamoment, right, so you talk about
becoming better.
(18:08):
So when I say a statement likethat, I'm not saying Brett Davis
is perfect and Brett Davis hasit figured out and Brett Davis
is this, that and the other.
What I'm saying is I realizethat until I get myself to a
position that I love and respectwho I am at this point in my
(18:28):
journey, meaning again forgivingmyself for not being perfect
I'm not perfect, the book's notperfect, the people around me
aren't perfect.
But when I get to the pointwhere I kind of respect who I am
at this point in my journey andlove who I am at this point in
my journey, what happens is it'sso easy to give kindness and
(18:53):
give advice and give everythingin myself away to everybody else
with no expectation of anythingin return.
All of us out there have saidto somebody or said to ourselves
, that person was a jerk to mebecause they're not happy with
their life and where they're at.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We've all said that a thousand times.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
We know that about ourselves.
How many times have we been ajerk or taken out something on
somebody else whether it's aloved one or a stranger because
there was something else goingon in our lives that didn't make
us happen and somebody wasgoing to pay for it?
Damn it, right, Right.
That's why I spend so much timeon making sure that I'm in a
(19:37):
position and I prioritize makingsure I'm in a position where
I'm happy with who I am at thispoint in my life and I always
say that it doesn't say I'm nota position where I'm happy with
who I am at this point in mylife, and I always say that it
doesn't say I'm not a finishedproduct.
I have to work on this everyday, but when I find days that
I'm really happy with who I amand I like and love myself, it's
(19:59):
so much easier to be kinder toothers around me.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, to others around me, yeah, and is it kind
of like the whole airplane?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you try
to help somebody else, becauseif you don't that's one of the
chapters of the book.
Is it really?
It really is.
See, I knew you knew a coupleof these.
Put your own mask on first andit's funny you can't help
anybody else unless you getyourself yeah, I have.
I have a morning routine that'snon-negotiable, unless there's
(20:31):
an emergency, obviously right,but it's not an emergency in my
life.
I have a morning routine that'snon-negotiable, right, and and
I've been been married for 30years and early on, you know, my
wife was like I didn't get ituntil she started adopting that
right and she's like I justthought in the morning.
You know, my wife was like Ididn't get it until she started
adopting that Right and she'slike I just thought in the
morning you know, brett's goingto do his thing and nobody
better mess with him or talk tohim or whatever she was.
(20:53):
But then I realized once you doyou, you're there for everybody
else the rest of the day and Isaid right, and I believe in
that.
For others as well, do you?
And some people's routine maybe in the evening or the
afternoon, mine just happens tobe in the morning.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think that's a great way to start off the day,
though, and because, yeah, itjust kind of mentally sets you
for the day, I think.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
For sure.
And when I, when I do, at thevery end of kind of my morning
routine, when I'm you know kindof you know doing my morning
reflection on my morningmeditation or my morning prayer,
the last thing every singlemorning I say, you know, in my
prayers is to put me in aposition to make somebody else's
(21:39):
day special.
It's the last thing I ask for,right?
I don't ask't ask you know when.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I give thanks for everything.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
But so I leave kind of my morning routine with.
The last thing I say is put mein a position to make somebody
else's day special that'sperfect.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I love that, brett.
That was so amazing.
I I highly encourage everybodyto read Brett's book.
Your your website will belinked in the show notes to the
show.
I really, really reallyappreciate you coming on and
sharing this with us.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Sure thing, my, my absolute pleasure.
And the one thing, mike, thatthat I would like to share with
your readers is you've kind ofheard me say a couple of times
the intention of this book wasjust to help a couple of people
and it wasn't for kind ofself-notoriety or financial gain
.
So you know, any of yourlisteners out there, I know you
(22:38):
have, you know some leaders,board members and other things
out there.
But if anybody's out thereinvolved with whether it's a
group home or like a boys andgirls club or a teacher that
maybe is teaching some kids thatcould use this, or a leader,
and you just don't have it inthe budget to purchase, you know
(23:00):
four, five, six, seven of thesebooks there are 10 books to
give out to anybody.
Please contact me throughthrough the website, my emails
on there, because I will.
I will cover the books and theshipping and handling and just
send me where you want them andhow many you want Within reason,
you know, ask for 1000.
But you know, at least to startwith, at least get a little bit
(23:24):
first.
But um, yeah, and and and, allthe uh, all the, all the profits
from the book go to go to morebooks being donated to, to
people that could use them.
Um, because, again, the thebook's about, you know, trying
to help people, um, deal withtheir inner anxiety.
You know, kind of kind of kindof deal with the noise in their
(23:47):
head if they will.
Because, you know, one of thethings that that I've learned
over the years is, you know,anxiety is kind of created by
the noise in your head, you know, and it's you that, that that
noise and anxiety is almostalways over something that
happened in the past orsomething that's going to happen
(24:08):
in the future.
And what it does, mike, is itrobs us of the power of being
present.
And you know tomorrow's job isto worry about tomorrow.
Yesterday's gone, we can't tripover it again.
So, you know, really just kindof helping people be in the
present.
And you know I talk about inthe book.
(24:29):
This isn't a dress rehearsal,this is our life right Good
story.
So let's do what we can to notonly get it right for ourselves
but to make this one lifespecial for those we interact
with.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Amen brother.
I love that Thank you for thosewe interact with.
Amen brother, I love that.
Thank you, brett.
You have a fantastic week.
I really do appreciate it andwe will talk again soon.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Again thanks, mike, and appreciate you having me on.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'll text you the information on the show Perfect.
I want to thank you for takingthis time to listen to this
episode with my guest, brettDavis.
I hope you were able to takesomething positive from the time
that you spent with us here.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll be motivated, maybe
(25:16):
you'll be moved.
If you experienced any of thosepositive feelings, please,
please, please, consider sharingthis podcast with your friends
and family.
I am always striving to offeryou a better podcast, so give me
some feedback.
Let me know how you think I'mdoing.
Email me, leave me a message onour socials.
(25:37):
It would mean the world Also.
Feel free to follow us on oursocials like Facebook, instagram
, linkedin and TikTok.
Make sure you follow us onwherever you listen to your
podcasts as well.
Every little bit helps.
I really want to get thispodcast out there and I want
(25:58):
more people to have thisplatform or this space where
they can feel hopeful, and itwould help a lot if you could do
those things.
This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
If you have an idea for apodcast and you need some
(26:18):
production assistance, or youalready have a podcast and
you're looking for a supportivenetwork to join, check out
MaydayMediaNetworkcom and checkout the many different shows,
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Radio Show, wake Up and Dreamwith D'Anthony Palin, staxo Pax
(26:42):
and the Time Pals.
Staxo Pax and the Time Pals.
We'll be back again next weekwith a new episode and we would
be honored if you would join us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
Well, hello there and welcome.
You are listening to theKindness Matters podcast and I
am your host, mike Rathbun.
What is this podcast all about?
It's about kindness.
It's a pushback againsteverything negative that we see
in the news and on social mediatoday, and it's a way to
(00:20):
highlight people, organizationsthat are simply striving to make
their little corner of theworld a little better place.
If you want to join in on theconversation, feel free, Go
ahead and follow us on all ofyour social media feeds.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
(00:42):
Check us out.
We're even on LinkedIn underMike Rathbun.
Check us out and, in themeantime, so sit back, relax,
enjoy and we'll get into theKindness Matters podcast.
Hey, hello everybody.
Welcome to the show.
I am your host, mike Rathbun.
Thank you so much for having mein your ears for 30 minutes or
(01:04):
so.
You made that choice and Igenuinely, genuinely appreciate
it and thank you all for that.
I have a fantastic show for youtoday.
Just a quick reminder if youhear anything in this show that
is uplifting to you orinspirational or motivational,
(01:27):
it's probably all the fault ofmy guest, brett Davis, but go
ahead and share it anyway.
Let your friends know, let yourfamily know that you listen to
the Kindness Matters podcast andit makes you happy.
So, and since I mentioned myguest, my guest today is in fact
Brett Davis, and you might beasking yourself well, who's
(01:49):
Brett Davis?
Well, I'll tell you.
Brett Davis is a best-sellingauthor whose journey through
life has been marked byresilience, growth and an
unwavering commitment topersonal and professional
development.
With the steadfast support ofhis wife Kelly and an unwavering
commitment to personal andprofessional development, with
the steadfast support of hiswife Kelly and their two sons,
(02:11):
brent has achieved remarkablesuccess.
Starting as a door-to-doorsalesman, he ascended to
executive-level positions in themedical field, demonstrating
his exceptional ability toconnect with others and lead
with integrity.
And Brent's extensiveexperience in sales and his keen
(02:31):
insight into human behaviorhave inspired him to compile a
collection of sayings and lifelessons in his book Brentisms
Adopted, borrowed and ModifiedPhilosophies for a life with
less anxiety and more confidence.
These philosophies, whetheroriginal or adapted, have been
instrumental in reducing stressand building confidence in
(02:55):
Brett's life and the lives ofthose around them.
I'm sure they're going to beinstrumental in reducing your
stress as well today.
So welcome to the show, Brett.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Thanks, mike, and thanks for that great
introduction.
It's a pleasure and an honor tobe a guest on your show.
As a fan of your show, itreally is.
It's pretty cool to be a guest,so thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, that's very nice of you to say Nice.
That's a great way to start theshow.
I love that.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
So now these sayings and lifelessons.
And I do this too, and I'm likeyou know.
(03:39):
I love quotes, motivationalquotes, you know, whether it's
Dwyer or whomever, and Ioftentimes I'll save them, I'll
see a meme or I'll save it withthe quote on it.
But this is kind of handy,because you just gathered these
all up.
Did you modify some of them foryour own purposes?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, 100%.
Did you modify some of them foryour own purposes?
Or yeah, 100.
I mean, you know, as it kind ofsays, you know some some are
kind of you know ones that Iheard verbatim.
Some are just kind of sayingsor philosophies that that over
the years I've come up withmyself to help myself deal with
different emotions or differentsituations that I was in.
Um, and some you know I've kindof heard through the years and
(04:30):
thought you know I like it but Idon't love it.
For me, what would it look likeif I tweaked it this way or
that way to have kind of a moreprofound daily impact on not
only how the world sees me buthow I see the world and how I
treat others and others treat me?
(04:51):
So yeah, I mean the answer tothat question, mike, is yes to
all.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
All right, because and you've okay.
So first of all, I'm gettingway ahead of myself here you
initially wrote this as a bookfor your kids, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
That's correct.
When my two sons, blake andConnor, were born, there were
sayings, as they kind of gotolder, that I would repeat to
them you know, that which wetolerate, we allow to repeat,
right.
You know, that which wetolerate, we allow to repeat,
right.
If they or you know people willtreat you how you allow them to
, as they were kind of growingup, and they would come home and
(05:31):
be frustrated with you.
Know, little Johnny on the busshoved me.
Well, you're going to shove youagain if you continue to
tolerate it type lessons.
And it kind of came out, mike,my wife and kids had kind of
started, you know, teasing me alittle bit about all these
sayings, but by the same pointthey knew they were impactful
(05:52):
and there were some that theyliked and they started a board
and they wrote breadisms on itright, that's where the title of
the book came from and theywere breadisms, heredisms.
And I started writing the bookwhen they were very young, just
to kind of.
You know, these are the coreones that I think will serve
(06:14):
them throughout their lives.
And then, as my life journeycontinued and I became more of a
leader in a business sense, ina professional sense, along with
a youth athletic coach acrossmany different sports, I started
seeing how these sayings andsome of these philosophies were
not only helping a lot of theyoung adults that I was
impacting, but some of the olderadults that I was interacting
(06:37):
with on a business that eitherstruggled with, you know, maybe
somebody that I was working with, you know had had anxiety over
having to give a presentation,or had anxiety going into an
annual review.
Even though they were doing agreat job and they were rock
stars, they were still, you know, anxious over having to go, you
know, sit in front of theleadership and talk about what
(07:01):
they've accomplished that year.
So, you know, it starteddawning on me that you know, I'm
in a unique position, havingleaned on these, to overcome my
own anxiousness and my ownanxiety over the years, to be
able to build a true inner coreof confidence that has served me
(07:23):
very, very well.
You know, I'm a big believer inprotect your confidence at all
costs.
Of all the things that we have,the number one thing we should
always protect is our ownpersonal confidence in ourselves
, right?
So when that came to me, that'swhen I said you know what, I'm
going to get serious about thisand I'm going to finish this
(07:43):
book and publish it, and theintention of it was just that,
and I thought you know if I canhelp a dozen, 20 people with
this book outside of my normalsphere of influence.
The years it took me to write itand put it together would be
worth it.
And when it hit number one onAmazon on the bestseller list,
(08:07):
on both the paperback and Kindleversion, that was a humbling
day for sure and I thought wow,there's, you know, it's out
there now and hopefully it hasthe impact that was intended.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
It just goes to show that a book like that can do
real well, and maybe there weremore than a dozen or 20 people
that needed to hear that andthey found you?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, for sure, and that's been really the cool part
.
And even hearing from readers,because I put my email on the
back of the book, whicheverybody told me not to do.
But I want to hear from peopleand I want to hear the good, the
bad and the ugly and I tell tohear from people and I want to
hear the good, the bad and theugly and I tell everybody it's
an imperfect book written by animperfect author, and I love to
(08:54):
hear kind of the feedback andthe things that people got out
of it or didn't after reading it.
That's kind of my joy.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah for sure of kind of my joy, yeah for sure, um,
yeah, and it's just, it's socool because, like I say, I
there were so so many times whenI have leaned on a lot of these
things, and probably a lot ofthe ones that I used to lean on
are in your book.
Um, but, because what is theimportance of?
(09:26):
Now?
You've got this book set up acertain way so that you can read
it in a month.
Was it 30 seconds?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
yeah.
So I wrote because I'm not abig reader myself, so I kind of
wrote it for people like me,right, and I always tell people
they're like, oh man, I'd loveto read your book.
I'm just not a reader and I'mlike, well, funny, you should
say that, right, if you are areader, of course you're gonna
read it, right?
But, um, it's, there's 30chapters in it and that was
(09:56):
intentional.
So I've got probably 3,000breadisms, but, but the 30 that
I that I picked were for thatreason.
So it's written with theintention that you read a
chapter every day and thechapter might take you five, ten
minutes to get through.
And once you read that chapter,that saying and and the
(10:16):
philosophy and the why behind itand the psychology behind it,
allows you to marinate on that.
And because what I found overthe years, if I'm in a situation
and you talked earlier aboutleaning on quotes and
philosophies if you hear a bunchof them or you don't really
stop and marinate on it, thenwhen you need it you can't
(10:39):
recall it and you don't rememberit, right, right.
So the reason I wrote it thisway is really, at the end of 30
days, you've read one philosophya day, or one life lesson a day
.
And then what I've heard from anumber of readers since it was
published is, after that 30 daysis over, then, whether it's
(11:04):
with their morning coffee or atthe end of the day with their
glass of wine at the end of thenight, you know they'll pull
that book out and they knowwhich chapter to go to to help
them with the situation that'scurrently causing them anxiety
or stress, and then they'llreread just that chapter and
marinate on it again and again.
(11:25):
It's not because all of us arepressed for time, right?
So it's not something thatyou're going.
You know I don't have an hourto devote to reading this book.
You know I'd rather deal withthe anxiety, right?
So I don't know if that'snecessarily.
I get what you're coming from.
Yeah, but to me it's more likehey, listen in five or 10
minutes after you've digestedthe whole book, then you know
(11:48):
where to kind of go back andrecall what you need given on
what that day has thrown at youor what you think that day might
throw at you.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, because we could always use a little
reinforcement from time to time.
Right, yeah, absolutely.
And your 30 days, your 30chapters.
They kind of cover the gamut ofwhat somebody might need
spiritually or mentally to getover a situation.
(12:18):
What's an example of maybe onehere?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, so an example, probably one of the ones I get a
lot of the feedback on, is youcan't trip over what's behind
you.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Right.
So you know a lot of people.
You know when they're dealingwith something that's making
them anxious or have anxiety orlack of confidence, it usually
has to do with something that'shappened in their past.
Now something coming up in thefuture might trigger it, but
it's usually something thathappened in the past.
(12:52):
Just when it comes torelationships and dealing with
people, you know there might besomething that I did in the past
that I'm not proud of, right?
Maybe I wasn't kind to somebodywhen I could have been or
should have been, and you knowthat's still eating at me.
And then I have to realize, youknow what.
I can't trip over that again.
(13:14):
It's already behind me Now.
That doesn't mean that I don'towe that person an apology and
make sure I don't repeat theactions, right.
But I also need to learn toforgive myself after they've
forgiven me and say you knowwhat?
Or if somebody did something tome and I'm continuing to harbor
(13:34):
that anger maybe they didn'tapologize right and I'm
continuing to harbor that anger.
Maybe they didn't apologizeright, but I'm still allowing
them to control my emotions,which I'm not a fan of right.
I'm a fan of me controlling andme being in charge of my
emotions.
So that's one that's really onethat has a lot of feedback,
(13:56):
especially with folks, I think,that are struggling with some
sort of an addiction.
That's one that they've leanedon a lot to help them through it
.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh sure, Because, yeah, because we generally have
something in our past that we'renot fond of If you're human for
sure, right, right.
For sure.
That's so cool because and it'sfunny you should bring that up
because there is some I just theother day had an issue and
(14:26):
somebody months ago didsomething that made me unhappy
and I never said anything tothem about it.
They didn't know they upset me,so they didn't apologize.
And, yeah, that's been gnawingat me from the inside out and I
was just because we had talkedyou and I and I knew that quote
(14:48):
and I kept thinking you can'ttrip over what's behind you, let
it go.
So, yeah, thanks for that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And kind of on that theme, you know, when you kind
of you know, talk about theother person, the other thing
you know that may help you withthat particular one is, you know
, hold yourself to at least thesame level accountability to
which you hold others.
So you know what I mean by.
There is we kind of judgeourselves on our intentions or
(15:20):
what we meant to do.
We judge those around us bytheir actions and what they
actually did or did not do Right, and I talk about this in the
book and you know talk about.
You know kindness andforgiveness and all the things
that your show is based on.
You know, when you adopt thatmindset, you surely do give a
(15:40):
lot of people a break a lotfaster.
Because another way to look atit, you know how many times have
we done somethingunintentionally to hurt somebody
or said somebody.
It was unintentional, we didn'tmean to, we did right, but we
don't know that we owe them, andyou know.
So we're quick to forgiveourselves but not really quick
(16:03):
to forgive others, and I divereally deep into this.
It was one of my favoritechapters to write Because I
think it's so profound ingetting somebody kind of the all
the keys that I feel you needto build confidence and reduce
anxiety.
And it's doing those littlethings with an internal voice to
(16:26):
be kinder and gentler to thosearound us.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, for sure.
I couldn't agree more.
I was just going to ask youknow, and because really this
can make you feel this book willmake you a better person.
And if you don't buy it rightnow, no, but yeah, I can see how
(16:51):
reading this book could makeyou a better person, but also
kinder.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Well, mike, I think there's a chapter in the book
and when I wrote the chapter Icertainly got a little bit of
pushback from my publisher and Igot pushed back on a lot of
things from the publisher,that's what they're there for.
Again, I wrote the book to helppeople.
Not how many it sold was not my, was not a goal of mine.
Right, so, yeah, so you know,when you go into it kind of with
(17:25):
that mindset of you knowwriting it for that reason, you
know that's, that's what youkind of come up with.
Right is right, as you knowwhat does this look like.
But one of the chapters of thebook is, of course, I love
myself.
If I didn't, I would changeright.
So you about an arrogant,obnoxious statement to make
(17:47):
right, and it's a breadism andit's one that I make a lot Right
, and.
But when you read the chapter,kind of a light bulb goes off
and again this is feedback fromreaders that I've gotten.
You know where they're like, hey, that one chapter I was like
this guy's a bit of a full ofhimself, but then I read the
chapter and there was an ahamoment, right, so you talk about
becoming better.
(18:08):
So when I say a statement likethat, I'm not saying Brett Davis
is perfect and Brett Davis hasit figured out and Brett Davis
is this, that and the other.
What I'm saying is I realizethat until I get myself to a
position that I love and respectwho I am at this point in my
(18:28):
journey, meaning again forgivingmyself for not being perfect
I'm not perfect, the book's notperfect, the people around me
aren't perfect.
But when I get to the pointwhere I kind of respect who I am
at this point in my journey andlove who I am at this point in
my journey, what happens is it'sso easy to give kindness and
(18:53):
give advice and give everythingin myself away to everybody else
with no expectation of anythingin return.
All of us out there have saidto somebody or said to ourselves
, that person was a jerk to mebecause they're not happy with
their life and where they're at.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We've all said that a thousand times.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
We know that about ourselves.
How many times have we been ajerk or taken out something on
somebody else whether it's aloved one or a stranger because
there was something else goingon in our lives that didn't make
us happen and somebody wasgoing to pay for it?
Damn it, right, Right.
That's why I spend so much timeon making sure that I'm in a
(19:37):
position and I prioritize makingsure I'm in a position where
I'm happy with who I am at thispoint in my life and I always
say that it doesn't say I'm nota position where I'm happy with
who I am at this point in mylife, and I always say that it
doesn't say I'm not a finishedproduct.
I have to work on this everyday, but when I find days that
I'm really happy with who I amand I like and love myself, it's
(19:59):
so much easier to be kinder toothers around me.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, to others around me, yeah, and is it kind
of like the whole airplane?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you try
to help somebody else, becauseif you don't that's one of the
chapters of the book.
Is it really?
It really is.
See, I knew you knew a coupleof these.
Put your own mask on first andit's funny you can't help
anybody else unless you getyourself yeah, I have.
I have a morning routine that'snon-negotiable, unless there's
(20:31):
an emergency, obviously right,but it's not an emergency in my
life.
I have a morning routine that'snon-negotiable, right, and and
I've been been married for 30years and early on, you know, my
wife was like I didn't get ituntil she started adopting that
right and she's like I justthought in the morning.
You know, my wife was like Ididn't get it until she started
adopting that Right and she'slike I just thought in the
morning you know, brett's goingto do his thing and nobody
better mess with him or talk tohim or whatever she was.
(20:53):
But then I realized once you doyou, you're there for everybody
else the rest of the day and Isaid right, and I believe in
that.
For others as well, do you?
And some people's routine maybe in the evening or the
afternoon, mine just happens tobe in the morning.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think that's a great way to start off the day,
though, and because, yeah, itjust kind of mentally sets you
for the day, I think.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
For sure.
And when I, when I do, at thevery end of kind of my morning
routine, when I'm you know kindof you know doing my morning
reflection on my morningmeditation or my morning prayer,
the last thing every singlemorning I say, you know, in my
prayers is to put me in aposition to make somebody else's
(21:39):
day special.
It's the last thing I ask for,right?
I don't ask't ask you know when.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I give thanks for everything.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
But so I leave kind of my morning routine with.
The last thing I say is put mein a position to make somebody
else's day special that'sperfect.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I love that, brett.
That was so amazing.
I I highly encourage everybodyto read Brett's book.
Your your website will belinked in the show notes to the
show.
I really, really reallyappreciate you coming on and
sharing this with us.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Sure thing, my, my absolute pleasure.
And the one thing, mike, thatthat I would like to share with
your readers is you've kind ofheard me say a couple of times
the intention of this book wasjust to help a couple of people
and it wasn't for kind ofself-notoriety or financial gain
.
So you know, any of yourlisteners out there, I know you
(22:38):
have, you know some leaders,board members and other things
out there.
But if anybody's out thereinvolved with whether it's a
group home or like a boys andgirls club or a teacher that
maybe is teaching some kids thatcould use this, or a leader,
and you just don't have it inthe budget to purchase, you know
(23:00):
four, five, six, seven of thesebooks there are 10 books to
give out to anybody.
Please contact me throughthrough the website, my emails
on there, because I will.
I will cover the books and theshipping and handling and just
send me where you want them andhow many you want Within reason,
you know, ask for 1000.
But you know, at least to startwith, at least get a little bit
(23:24):
first.
But um, yeah, and and and, allthe uh, all the, all the profits
from the book go to go to morebooks being donated to, to
people that could use them.
Um, because, again, the thebook's about, you know, trying
to help people, um, deal withtheir inner anxiety.
You know, kind of kind of kindof deal with the noise in their
(23:47):
head if they will.
Because, you know, one of thethings that that I've learned
over the years is, you know,anxiety is kind of created by
the noise in your head, you know, and it's you that, that that
noise and anxiety is almostalways over something that
happened in the past orsomething that's going to happen
(24:08):
in the future.
And what it does, mike, is itrobs us of the power of being
present.
And you know tomorrow's job isto worry about tomorrow.
Yesterday's gone, we can't tripover it again.
So, you know, really just kindof helping people be in the
present.
And you know I talk about inthe book.
(24:29):
This isn't a dress rehearsal,this is our life right Good
story.
So let's do what we can to notonly get it right for ourselves
but to make this one lifespecial for those we interact
with.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Amen brother.
I love that Thank you for thosewe interact with.
Amen brother, I love that.
Thank you, brett.
You have a fantastic week.
I really do appreciate it andwe will talk again soon.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Again thanks, mike, and appreciate you having me on.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'll text you the information on the show Perfect.
I want to thank you for takingthis time to listen to this
episode with my guest, brettDavis.
I hope you were able to takesomething positive from the time
that you spent with us here.
Maybe you'll be inspired, maybeyou'll be motivated, maybe
(25:16):
you'll be moved.
If you experienced any of thosepositive feelings, please,
please, please, consider sharingthis podcast with your friends
and family.
I am always striving to offeryou a better podcast, so give me
some feedback.
Let me know how you think I'mdoing.
Email me, leave me a message onour socials.
(25:37):
It would mean the world Also.
Feel free to follow us on oursocials like Facebook, instagram
, linkedin and TikTok.
Make sure you follow us onwherever you listen to your
podcasts as well.
Every little bit helps.
I really want to get thispodcast out there and I want
(25:58):
more people to have thisplatform or this space where
they can feel hopeful, and itwould help a lot if you could do
those things.
This podcast is part of theMayday Media Network.
If you have an idea for apodcast and you need some
(26:18):
production assistance, or youalready have a podcast and
you're looking for a supportivenetwork to join, check out
MaydayMediaNetworkcom and checkout the many different shows,
like Afrocentric Spoil, my MovieGeneration Mixtape In a Pickle
Radio Show, wake Up and Dreamwith D'Anthony Palin, staxo Pax
(26:42):
and the Time Pals.
Staxo Pax and the Time Pals.
We'll be back again next weekwith a new episode and we would
be honored if you would join us.
You've been listening to theKindness Matters Podcast.
I'm your host, mike Rathbun.
Have a fantastic week.
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