The Language Alchemy Podcast

What do you do when someone you love is overwhelmed and their emotions start to overwhelm you? Alejandra Siroka takes on a familiar dynamic: one partner is in distress, and the other feels pulled into that emotional current, unsure how to stay present without getting swept away. It starts with a question from a listener named Sekani, who describes getting anxious when his girlfriend feels anxious about politics. He wants to show up...

Aggression in kids can be startling. It often signals that they are holding more fear, hurt, or disconnection than they know how to manage.

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with parenting coach and educator Caroline Griswold to talk about the deeper story behind children’s “aggressive” behavior. What looks like defiance or disruption is often a child’s way of expressing fear, overwhelm, or disconnection they don’t yet ...

Assertive and aggressive communication can feel surprisingly similar, so how do you know which one you’re using, and how it’s affecting the people around you? 

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explains the real difference between the two, especially for those who’ve been told they’re “too much” when they were simply being clear. She talks about how gender, culture, and power shape the way assertiveness is perceived, and how easy...

Some of the most hurtful communication habits are the ones we’ve been taught to see as normal.

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka offers a reflection on four aggressive patterns that often show up in everyday conversations: stonewalling, gaslighting, passive aggression, and name-calling. These aren’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes they sound like silence. Sometimes they come wrapped in sarcasm, or disguised as concern.

How do...

Most of us don’t mean to hurt the people we care about. So why do certain conversations leave others feeling unseen, dismissed, or blamed?

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her series on aggressive communication by shining a light on four patterns that often go unnoticed: dismissing, derogatory criticism, blame shifting, and bringing up the past. These habits show up in everyday moments, during a disagreement with a par...

Most of us say we want peace in our relationships. So why do we still use words that create tension, distance, or even hurt?

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka invites us to take a closer look at the everyday language we use and how some of it may be doing more harm than we realize. Without meaning to, we may be speaking in ways that shut others down, leads them to feel small, or quietly chip away at trust. Where do those habits c...

Rowena Chiu spent 20 years unable to speak about her sexual assault after signing an NDA. Now, she’s using her voice to challenge power and change how we talk about trauma, truth, and legacy.

Joining Alejandra Siroka in this episode, Rowena reflects on the cultural silence she grew up with as the daughter of Chinese immigrants, and how emotional scarcity and obedience shaped her response to assault. As a former assistant to Harve...

Speaking up can feel impossible when shame has kept you silent for so long. But what if finding your voice was the key to healing?

Alejandra Siroka sits down with Leila Reyes, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, to talk about the power of communication in the healing process. Leila shares her journey of confronting her past, reclaiming her voice, and choosing to speak out even when it felt terrifying.

How does shame take root...

Heartbreak with life is real, but the way back is through truth, presence, and radical love.

When the world feels heavy, how do we hold onto love for life, for ourselves, and for each other? Alejandra Siroka breaks it down with three simple but powerful ways to lean into love. Grounding in the present helps quiet fear. Practicing radical tenderness is an act of strength. Serving others restores a sense of purpose.

But what abou...

The way we communicate isn’t just about what we say. It’s about the courage to ask how our words land and the impact they leave behind.

Alejandra Siroka explores the power of checking in on the impact of our words, not to seek validation, but to show care and build trust. She shares a personal story about a conversation with a friend, whose intentional follow-up turned a potentially difficult discussion into a moment of deeper un...

“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world,” says Kelly Blaser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Dharma Bridge and Soma Psychotherapy. In this episode, Kelly joins Alejandra Siroka to explore how compassionate self-inquiry can help us uncover the deeper layers of who w...

“Connection is present in a relationship when we feel accepted as we are.”

What makes relationships thrive? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares the two values she believes are at the heart of every meaningful relationship: safety and connection. Drawing from her personal experiences and years of coaching, Alejandra shows us how these values shape the way we interact and build trust with others. 

Alejandra shares a childhoo...

Healthy relationships start with honest conversations, mutual respect, and the courage to share what matters most. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares four insights for healthier relationships, and offers tools to help us deepen our connections in the year ahead.

What does it mean to truly reveal your inner experience—your feelings, values, and needs—to those you care about? Alejandra shares a relatable story of a couple stu...

“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, ‘What would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation?’ When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it ...

“If we keep avoiding difficult topics, how are we going to learn to address them?” Alejandra Siroka poses this question with urgency and clarity. She reminds us that “having different political views is not a problem. In fact, it is healthy to have people who see the world, the problems of the world, and the potential solutions in multiple ways.”

In this episode, Alejandra shares practical advice on fostering healthy conversation...

“Anxiety is a common human experience,” says Alejandra Siroka, as she shines a light on communication anxiety—something many of us face, especially during the holidays or in tense social situations. How can we speak with clarity and confidence when nerves take over? In this episode, Alejandra offers five simple steps to help shift the dynamic.

From grounding yourself through mindful breathing to visualizing more positive interact...

“The Jews aren’t going anywhere. The Palestinians aren’t going anywhere. They’re either going to live there side-by-side fighting forever, or they’re going to live side-by-side in peace somehow.”

In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her conversation with Kawthar Duncan and Noam Szoke—two friends whose backgrounds might suggest they’d be on opposite sides of the debate. How do you sustain a friendship when the world around ...

“I wouldn’t go by Kawthar because I didn’t want people to know I was Arab American or I was different. I wanted to be as American as possible and felt like I always needed to say I was patriotic. It took almost a decade for me to get to a place where I was like, ‘No, I’m proud of my parents. I’m proud of what they did to bring me here,’” shares Kawthar Duncan, opening up about the internal struggle she faced growing up.

In this e...

“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson, a seasoned psychologist with decades of experience in family dynamics and Alejandra’s mother-in-law, gives heartfelt advice in this episode of The Langua...