250. Beyond Leadership: Empowering Yourself with Self-Leadership Insights with Mick Spiers

Leadership begins with self-leadership. Without mastering the art of leading ourselves, we cannot effectively lead others. This milestone 250th episode explores twelve essential self-leadership practices that can transform how you show up as a leader.

Self-leadership starts with clarity about your purpose and values. When you remember your "why" and align your actions with your core values, you create an internal compass that guides decisions and provides motivation during challenges. Similarly, understanding what's within your control versus what you can merely influence prevents the frustration of trying to change the unchangeable, allowing you to direct your energy where it truly matters.

Focus and intentionality form another critical dimension of self-leadership. By setting clear priorities, removing interference, and approaching each day and interaction with purpose, you maximize your impact and presence. Great leaders know when to step in and when to step back, and they practice the discipline of being the last to speak—creating space for diverse perspectives before adding their own.

Perhaps most visible is a leader's emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize triggers, regulate responses, and express emotions appropriately. As Aristotle suggested, the challenge isn't avoiding emotions but expressing them "with the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, in the right way." This pairs with the power of full presence—giving others your complete attention as perhaps the greatest gift a leader can offer.

Self-leadership isn't a destination but a continuous journey of reflection and growth. Through daily practices like asking yourself what went well, what didn't, and what you learned, you build the self-awareness that underlies all effective leadership. Which of these twelve principles resonates most with you? Share your thoughts and subscribe for more insights on leadership, mindset, and human behavior as we continue this journey together.

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Episode Transcript

Mick Spiers (00:00):
Heather, what does it truly mean to lead yourself?

(00:04):
Have you ever stopped to askyourself, am I showing up as the
leader I'd need to be for myselfand for others, and what would
change in your life if youmastered self leadership? In my
recent conversation with HeatherYounger, we explored the power
of self leadership and how it'sthe foundation for becoming a

(00:25):
truly impactful leader. Today, Iwant to take that conversation
further, adding my ownreflections, my own experiences
and practical insights that canhelp you strengthen your self
leadership, starting today,going to give you my top 12 tips
on self leadership.

(00:45):
Hey everyone, and welcome backto The Leadership Project. First
of all, I can't believe thatthis is Episode 250 and I want
to thank everyone that's beenpart of our journey so far, my
team at TLP, that keep onshowing up and doing the work
each and every week, you theaudience for tuning in and
sharing your reflections on whatyou're hearing and our dear

(01:08):
guests that share their time,their wisdom and insights with
us. I still can't believe it'sEpisode 250 but we still have a
long way to go. We've got somuch great content to cover
leadership is something thatyou've never finished, so
there's always something that wecan talk about in terms of fine
tuning your leadership. Thankyou for being on this journey

(01:30):
with us as we continue to bringyou these great guests from
around the world, sharing theirthoughts and their thought
leadership. So today I'm goingto tell you about my top 12 tips
around self leadership, leadingon from our amazing conversation
with Heather Younger.

(01:50):
So let's get into it straightaway. Number one is self
motivation, remembering your whyself leadership starts with self
motivation. And self motivationisn't about hype, it's about
remembering why you do what youdo. Your Why is the fuel that

(02:11):
keeps you going when things gettough. Heather spoke about
resilience, and part ofresilience is having a reason to
keep moving forward if you losesight of your why, you'll
struggle to stay engaged, staydisciplined and push through
challenges. So here's mychallenge to you, write down

(02:31):
your Why keep it visiblesomewhere. When things get hard,
revisit it. Remind yourself whyyou started in the first place.
Number two, knowing your valuesand staying true to yourself.
Your values are your compasswhen you don't know your values,
or worse, when you compromisethem, you lose your sense of

(02:55):
direction. You make decisionsthat don't feel right. You say
yes when you should have saidno, Heather emphasized the
importance of presence, andpresence starts with alignment.
You can't be fully present ifyou're living out of sync with
your values, something justdoesn't feel right. So ask

(03:18):
yourself, what are my corevalues, and more importantly, am
I living in alignment with them?
Leadership is about making toughchoices, and when you know your
values, those choices becomeclearer.
Number three, spheres of controland spheres of influence,

(03:39):
letting go of what you can'tchange. One of the biggest
leadership challenges is tryingto control what's outside of our
influence. It leads tofrustration, stress and burnout.
I always remind myself of thespheres of control and spheres
of influence. What is within mycontrol? What can I influence?

(04:00):
What is outside of my reach.
Heather talked about emotionalintelligence and emotional
regulation. A big part of thatis recognizing when to let go.
When you spend too much energyon things you can't change, you
take away energy from the thingsyou can impact. The best leaders
know how to focus theirattention where it truly

(04:22):
matters.
That leads us to number four,the power of focus and
prioritization. Saying yes toeverything means you're saying
no to the things that actuallymatter. Self leadership is about
knowing what deserves yourenergy and what doesn't. Heather

(04:44):
and I discussed the importanceof focus. Great leaders aren't
just busy, they are focused. Askyourself, What are my top
priorities and what distractionsdo I need to eliminate to do a
better job at those priorities?
Saying no isn't about shuttingdoors. It's about protecting
your ability to perform at yourhighest level on what truly

(05:06):
matters, which leads beautifullyto Number five, avoiding
distractions and removinginterference. What's stealing
your focus? What's getting inthe way of your growth. I've
referenced Timothy Galway manytimes on the show, and just
think about his equation, thatperformance is equal to

(05:28):
potential minus interference.
Most of us don't strugglebecause of a lack of ability. We
struggle because ofinterference, whether it's
unnecessary meetings, socialmedia, self doubt, your own
inner fears, remove thatinterference, and your true

(05:50):
potential will shine through.
Number six, setting an intentionfor every day and every meeting.
Leadership is not accidental,it's intentional. Every day,
every interaction, everymeeting, you have a choice. How
do I want to show up before youstart your day? Set an

(06:13):
intention. How do I need to showup today? What energy do I need
to bring for each meeting, howdoes your team need you to show
up? Do they need you to becurious? Do they need you to be
inspirational? Do they need youto ask lots of questions? Set an
intention before each meeting asto what is going to serve you

(06:35):
well and what is going to serveyour team well? Heather spoke
about presence, and this iswhere presence starts. You don't
just show up. You show up withpurpose and intention.
Number seven, knowing when tostep in and when to step back.
Great leaders don't micromanageand they don't disappear. They

(06:58):
know when to step in and theyknow when to step back, if you
always step in, you'redisempowering your team, and
they're not learning and they'renot growing. If you always step
back, you're not leading. Selfleadership is about awareness,
reading the room, knowing whenyour input is needed and when

(07:18):
your silence is going to be morepowerful, which is a great segue
to Number eight, learning to bethe last one to speak. One of
the most powerful leadershiplessons I've ever learned is to
learn to be the last one tospeak. In most circumstances,
when you speak first, you setthe direction, but you also

(07:42):
limit other voices. Heathertalked about active listening,
and on the show before we'vespoken about deep listening, and
this is where it applies. Giveothers the space to express
themselves fully and then speak.
This builds trust, showsrespect, and often leads to
better decisions. You curate adiversity of thought, and you

(08:06):
make people feel that they'repart of the journey, and when
they feel part of the tuna, theytake great ownership in the
results. So learn to be the lastone to speak.
Number nine, emotionalintelligence and emotional
regulation. Your ability to leadyourself depends on your ability

(08:27):
to manage your emotions.
Leadership isn't about having noemotions. It's about knowing how
to use them wisely. Heatheremphasized this throughout our
conversation, leaders who canregulate their emotions can also
lead effectively under pressure.
Self leadership meansrecognizing your emotional

(08:49):
triggers, understanding youremotional patterns, and making
decisions from a place ofclarity, not reaction. So what
we want to do is respond, notreact. Take a beat. Take it six
seconds, take a deep breath,consider your response and then
respond. And remember, it's notabout bottling up emotion. It's

(09:13):
about the ability to express andregulate emotion in a healthy
way. And one of my favoritequotes from Aristotle, is anyone
can be angry that is easy, butto be angry with the right
person at the right time for theright reason, in the right way,
to the right degree, that is noteasy. That's not about not being

(09:35):
angry or not being frustrated,or whatever emotion you want to
plug into that quote. It's aboutdoing it in the right way.
Number 10, the power ofpresence. Heather said something
that really resonated with me.
The greatest gift you can givesomeone is your presence when
you are fully present. Peoplefeel valued, seen and heard.

(09:55):
Most leaders are distracted.
COVID, they're thinking aboutthe next meeting or the next
email or the next problem, butthe best leaders give 100% of
their attention to the personthat's right in front of them.
At that point, not only doesthat person feel more respected
and seen and and heard, you alsopay greater attention, and you

(10:19):
pick up things that you wouldn'thave picked up if you were
distracted. I strongly encourageyou to try this. You're going to
find that you learn more aboutyourself, your team and your
business when you're fullypresent and you're fully paying
attention to what's happeningaround you.
Number 11, resilience. Let go,learn and move forward.

(10:44):
Resilience isn't about ignoringpain, it's about processing it,
learning from it, and movingforward. Every leader faces
setbacks, every leader makesmistakes and trauma does not
discriminate, but what separatesgreat leaders is how they
respond. You can't let the pastdefine your future, learn from

(11:07):
it, adapt and keep going. It'syour ability to let go of the
past and move forward is whatsets you apart from others.
And number 12 is self reflectionand daily learning. If you're
not reflecting, you're notgrowing. If you're not growing,
you're not leading. I've donethis exercise every day now for

(11:30):
just calculating my head. It'sgoing on 14 years now that I've
done this exercise every day totake the time every day to
reflect, I ask myself the samefive questions, what went well
today? What didn't go well? Whatwill I do differently next time?
What did I learn about myselfand what did I learn about

(11:51):
others? It's through thispractice that I become a better
leader. Every day. It's ajourney. There's no such thing
as a perfect leader, but thebest leaders are ones that
reflect, learn and grow everyday. Self Leadership isn't a
destination, it's a continuousjourney of learning and
improvement. So there you haveit.

(12:13):
That's my top 12 reflections onself leadership, inspired by my
conversation with the amazingHeather Younger, I hope this has
resonated with you. I'd love tohear from you which of these 12
resonated with you the most. Letme know in the comments or reach
out on LinkedIn, and if you'reenjoying these conversations,

(12:35):
make sure you've subscribed soyou can get more insights on
leadership mindset and humanbehavior. In our next episode,
we're going to be joined bySabina Nawaz, and she's going to
give us an amazing tool arounddelegation called the delegation
dial. It's very practical andsomething that anyone can put

(12:57):
into practice.
Thank you for listening to TheLeadership Project
mickspiers.com a huge call outto Faris Sedek for his video
editing of all of our videocontent and to all of the team
at TLP. Joan Gozon, GeraldCalibo and my amazing wife Sei
Spiers, I could not do this showwithout you. Don't forget to

(13:21):
subscribe to The LeadershipProject YouTube channel where we
bring you interesting videoseach and every week, and you can
follow us on social,particularly on LinkedIn,
Facebook and Instagram. Now, inthe meantime, please do take
care, look out for each otherand join us on this journey as
we learn together and leadtogether.