August 28, 2025 • 25 mins
What if the mark of extraordinary leadership isn't found in having all the answers, but in asking the right questions? This eye-opening episode distills powerful insights from recent conversations with leadership experts Gary Cohen, Scott Burgmeyer, and Joe Davis—revealing a leadership framework built on curiosity, development, and generosity.
Gary Cohen's journey from founding a company to growing it to 2,200 employees taught him a crucial lesson: leaders who constantly provide answers become organizational bottlenecks. The pivotal shift happens when leaders move from information-gathering to asking questions that empower others to think, act, and own solutions. This simple change transforms you from an answer-giver to a true multiplier, unleashing potential throughout your organization while satisfying people's fundamental needs for autonomy and recognition.
Scott Burgmeyer adds another dimension by emphasizing that leadership isn't just about leading today's business—it's about consciously building tomorrow's leaders. His powerful personal journey reminds us that often we can't "read the label from inside the jar"—sometimes others see leadership potential in us before we recognize it ourselves. The true measure of leadership becomes not just what you accomplish, but who you develop along the way.
Joe Davis completes this leadership trifecta with his concept of "generous leadership"—bringing vulnerability, authenticity, and genuine presence to your role. This approach isn't weakness; it's creating the psychological safety needed for teams to acknowledge mistakes, seek help, and collaborate effectively. Perhaps the most valuable gift? Your undivided attention—increasingly rare in our distracted world, yet precisely what makes people feel truly seen and valued.
These insights are further enriched by glimpses into our new Psychology and Leadership series, exploring how understanding the brain's functioning transforms leadership effectiveness. From the astonishing case of Phineas Gage to recognizing how our unconscious patterns influence decisions, these psychological insights help us lead with greater intention and empathy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mick Spiers (00:01):
Have you ever noticed how the best leaders are
not the ones with all theanswers, but the ones who know
how to ask the right questionsdevelop others and lead with
generosity. Today's episode is asolo cast where I'm going to
share the key takeaways from myrecent conversations with Gary
Cohen, Scott Bergmeyer and JoeDavis. I'll also reflect on
(00:25):
insights from our new Q and Aleadership coaching sessions and
the psychology and leadershipseries we've just kicked off.
And finally, I'll connect thedots on what's happening in the
world right now, becauseleadership lessons aren't just
theory. They're alive around usevery single day. So grab a
(00:45):
coffee, settle in, and let'sdive into what it really means
to lead with questions, to growother leaders and to do it all
with humanity.
Hey everyone, and welcome backto The Leadership Project. I'm
your host. Mick Spiers, today isa solo cast where I reflect on
what we've learned on TheLeadership Project podcast
(01:07):
through the month of August,I'll be reflecting on lessons
from Gary Cohen, Scott Bergmeyerand Joe Davis, and talking about
what we're learning through ournew video series, the Q and A
series, and our psychology andLeadership Series, our Q and A
show is where we're answeringyour questions, real life
(01:29):
questions from real life leadersto help you become the leader
that you've always wanted to be.
So let's dive in. First up GaryCohen, who taught us all about
the power of asking betterquestions. Gary reminded us that
leadership is less about havinganswers and more about asking
questions that move peopleforward. He built his business
(01:51):
from just two founders into 2200people, and quickly learned that
if you're always the answerperson, you become the
bottleneck. His interviews withover 100 leaders reinforce this.
The pivotal shift happens whenleaders move from gathering
information to asking questionsthat empower others to think,
(02:13):
act and own solutions. Thelesson here is that leadership
isn't about control. It's aboutcuriosity. The best question you
can ask your team is not whatshould I do, but what do you
think we should do? And why thebenefits here are multi faceted.
First of all, it is a verycommon trap for leaders to fall
(02:35):
into to think that they need toknow all of the answers. And
this is a very limiting belief.
You become the bottleneck, andyou become the point of
dependence for everyone. If allyou do is always give answers,
what people learn is that theycome to you for anything that
(02:57):
they need, and they don't becomeself motivating, self dependent.
Secondly, there's somethingspecial. When you ask a
question, it unlocks somethingin the other person. It creates
learning and growth, and you'llsee them starting to develop at
a much greater rate. And itgives people what they want in
(03:18):
the workplace. They wantautonomy. They want the freedom
to be able to choose their owndestiny and to make decisions
that impact their own outcomes.
It gives them that empowerment.
It gives them ownership andmakes them feel seen. It makes
them feel heard, and it makesthem feel valued, and most of
(03:40):
all, you become a multiplier. Ihate to break it to you, but
you're a human being, and youonly have 24 hours in a day, and
if you keep on answering all thequestions, you are going to be
that limit, whereas if you areenabling people to learn and
grow and to take thatempowerment and that ownership,
(04:01):
you become a multiplier, andbefore you know it, there's
seven of you, there's 14 of you,there's 28 of you, depending on
how big your team is. So keytakeaway here, let go of
control. Get more curious andask better questions. The key
here is, even when you know theanswer, resist the temptation to
(04:23):
instantly give that answer andrather pause and convert it into
a question that unlockssomething in the person that's
come to ask you that question.
Next up, we had Scott bergmeyerand he spoke to us about leaders
who build other leaders. Scotthighlighted that leadership is
not just about Leading today'sbusiness, but building the
(04:45):
leaders of tomorrow. His ownjourney shifted when someone saw
in him a potential he didn't yetsee himself around. Reminder
that often we can't read thelabel from inside the jar. He
stressed the importance ofprocess and people. Yes, systems
and tools matter, but it's theleaders you develop who will
(05:07):
carry the culture forward. A keylesson here was that a true
measure of leadership is whetherthe people you lead, are
equipped, confident and inspiredto lead others. So my questions
and actions for you here are tothink about, Well, are you a
leader, and are you a leader ofleaders? What are you doing to
(05:29):
develop the leadership skills ofthe next generation? How can you
help them build their own selfawareness of what it means to be
a leader, self awareness oftheir own leadership styles.
What are their values? What dothey stand for? What won't they
stand for, and are they livingthose values? Are their actions
(05:51):
congruent with the values thatthey tell their team, are they
truly leading, or are theymanaging? Once again, there's
nothing wrong with being amanager. We need managers. But
if you want to develop leaders,they need to develop leadership
skills. So what are you doing toencourage them to step in to
(06:13):
what it means to be a leader?
How are you coaching them tobecome better leaders and better
coaches themselves. This isanother case of a true
multiplication effect. If youcan master this and you create
other leaders around you, you'regoing to see a great change in
(06:34):
your team and in yourorganization. Our next guest was
Joe Davis, and he spoke to usabout the generous leader. Joe
introduced us to his concept ofgenerous leadership, giving of
yourself for everyone's gain. Hebelieves leaders must bring
their human selves to work,vulnerability, empathy and
(06:55):
authenticity, not 100% of ourprivate lives. That's not what
it's about, but enough humanitythat people know we're real. He
reminded us of themultiplication effect, another
multiplier, if you inspire evena handful of leaders, their
teams, their families andcommunities are all impacted.
(07:16):
The lesson here is leadership.
Generosity is not weakness. It'sone of the most powerful ways to
create trust, connection andsustain performance. A key
reminder here from Simon Sinekis that all businesses are
people businesses, and if youdon't understand people, you
don't understand business. Andwhat it really means is that we
(07:38):
succeed through our people, notat the expense of our people. So
when we're generous, when we'reopen, when we look after people,
they will look after us. It'salso about role modeling
behaviors that will drive whatyou're looking for in the
organization. When you arevulnerable, it gives them a
(07:59):
license to be vulnerable. Whenyou are authentic and you show
up as your authentic self, itgives them the comfort that they
can do so as well. And whenpeople feel themselves at work,
when they feel a sense ofbelonging, when they feel a
sense that they can be theirtrue selves. They're ready to do
(08:20):
their very best work.
Vulnerability here is one of thebiggest gifts that you can give,
and when you think about theopposite here, imagine if you're
a leader that never showed thatyou ever make a mistake, you're
going to make people feel veryself aware and very self
conscious and probably nevercome to you with their own
(08:43):
mistakes. They'll feel likeyou're some kind of untouchable
genius and that they can'tpossibly come to you when
they've made a mistakethemselves, and that would be an
absolute disaster. Sovulnerability enables people to
stick up their hand ask for helpwhen they need it, to admit a
mistake, when they've made amistake, and to be able to work
(09:05):
together, to be able to fixwhatever the problem is. The
other great gift of a generousleader is presence. The gift to
be able to give someone yourundivided attention. This is
actually getting a bit rare inmodern days, we're distracted by
technology. We've got oursmartphones on the table. We're
(09:26):
distracted by messages andnotifications or thinking about
a different meeting instead ofbeing focused on the meeting
that's in front of us. One ofthe greatest gifts that you can
give your people is yourundivided attention to show them
respect, to show them that theymatter, because you see them,
you hear them, and you're paying100% attention to them, that
(09:50):
you're fully immersed andpresent in the current
conversation that signals tothem that they are important
and. Is what people want. Theywant to feel seen. They want to
feel heard. They want to feelthat they matter. They don't
want to feel like you're in thismeeting right now, but if a more
(10:12):
important topic comes up, you'regoing to drop them any second
and run to something else, orthat you're not really present.
You're you're thinking aboutsome other meeting, or if you're
watching your phone, or whateverthe case may be. So the number
one gift of a generous leader isyour undivided attention, your
immersed presence. Somethingwill also happen when you do
(10:34):
this. You will learn so muchmore when you're distracted and
you're not really fully payingattention to the meeting in
front of you. I'm going to tellyou you miss 70% of what just
happened in that meeting. Andwhen you take the time to
intentionally be fully present,fully immersed and fully with
the person that's talking toyou, you're going to pick up so
(10:56):
much more information. You'regoing to learn so much more
about the person, about theproblem about the business,
whatever the topic is, you willlearn so much more and to be
more helpful to them and helpfulto the business if you're 100%
in the moment. Okay, now I'dlike to share with you what
we've been learning from theleadership and psychology
(11:18):
series. We recently started anew video series where I'm
sharing my journey as Iformalized my education in
psychology. I've been studyingpsychology for more than a
decade now, but usually throughshort courses and different
activities, and I've decided todive deep and formalize my study
(11:39):
in psychology so that I canbetter understand the human
condition, what drives people,how to motivate people, what
drives their behavior, whichsometimes can seem very
irrational, behavior, and tounderstand human behavior at a
much deeper level. So we'vestarted this video series to
(12:01):
share with you my journey ofwhat I'm learning about
psychology and what it means interms of driving human behavior
and what it means forleadership. In video one, I
introduced the audience tosomeone called Phineas Gage, a
railway foreman in 1848 whosurvived a horrific accident
(12:22):
where a metal rod shot throughhis skull and brain. He lived.
He could speak, walk and reason,but he was never the same again.
Before the accident, he wasdependable, focused and
respected. Afterward, he becameerratic, profound and impulsive.
The only thing that changed washis brain, and that's the key.
(12:45):
This brings us to what Nobellaureate Francis Crick called
the astonishing hypothesis thateverything we are, our
personality, our decisions andeven our moral compass, is the
result of neural activity. Inother words, the mind is what
the brain does. So as a leaderthat changes everything, if the
(13:06):
brain drives behavior, thenLeadership isn't just about
motivation or vision. It's aboutunderstanding how people think,
what shapes their decisions, andhow context affects them
neurologically, it helps explainwhy someone might show up one
day as driven and composed andthe next as distracted and
(13:27):
withdrawn. Maybe it's not lackof motivation. It could be
sleep, stress, trauma orneurological overload. So the
more we understand the sciencebehind behavior, the more it
allows us to lead with moreempathy and effectiveness.
Instead of assuming laziness, webecome curious. Instead of
(13:48):
reacting to people, we startunderstanding them. In video
two, I introduced you to theconcept that your brain is lying
to you and you don't evenrealize it. It fills in the
blanks, filters information, andconstructs a version of reality
that feels completely real, butisn't always true. And if you're
(14:09):
a leader, that illusion could becosting you more than you think.
Your brain isn't built to showyour reality. It's built to make
meaning, and sometimes thatmeaning is incomplete, distorted
or entirely fabricated to makethe world feel more coherent. We
like to think we see the worldobjectively, but what we're
(14:32):
really seeing is our brainsinterpretation of the world
filtered through our memories,our biases and expectations. And
here's the thing, that's whateveryone else is doing as well.
So it all becomes aboutperspective taking for you to be
able to understand what you'reseeing and hearing and
interpreting and understandingthat someone else is looking at
(14:55):
the same events and seeing andhearing and interpreting them.
Differently, and because of ourbrains neuroplasticity, we also
become expert shortcut takers.
This is great for buildingmastery, but it can be
incredibly dangerous when westart extrapolating from
incomplete information. And thisis dangerous as a leader, if you
(15:17):
find yourself in a conversationwhere you're listening to
another person but you alreadyassume you know what they're
trying to tell you. You're notfully listening anymore. You're
extrapolating. You're already inyour head, you're already
finishing their sentences andassuming that you know what
they're talking about. So thishas huge implications. What
(15:41):
conversations are you missing?
What body language are youoverlooking? What opportunities
or warning signs are hiding inplain sight because we're not
primed to notice them. It's notjust about what we see. It's
about what we expect to see. Wemight misinterpret someone's
(16:02):
silence as disengagement whenit's really just deep thinking,
or take confidence at face valuewhen it's actually masking
insecurity. So the more we awareof our own cognitive filters,
the more we can step back andask, What else might be true
here? What am I not seeing? Whatassumptions am I bringing into
(16:25):
the room? So be careful of theassumptions and the
extrapolations that you'remaking, and be careful of
confirmation bias, where youonly start hearing the things
that confirm what you alreadybelieve, and you're ignoring the
signals that are contrary towhat you believed before a
conversation started. In videothree, we started talking about
(16:47):
decision making. As a leader,you make hundreds of decisions
every day. You think they'reconscious, rational yours, but
what if I told you that most ofthem aren't? There's a hidden
force influencing your thoughts,your reactions, even how you
lead, and it's running in thebackground without you ever
(17:08):
noticing. So let's start withthis question. If you ever
driven home and realize youdon't even remember the drive or
reacted emotionally in a meetingand only later, ask yourself,
Where did that come from? That'sthe unconscious mind at work.
It's the storehouse of yourhabits, memories, biases and
(17:28):
emotional patterns. Freudfamously called it the dark,
inaccessible part of ourpersonality, and Carl Jung
called it the shadow everythingwe've pushed down or chosen not
to see but whether or not we seeit, it's shaping us every single
day.
So imagine this, you get a vagueemail from your boss, just a
(17:52):
subject line that says, Can wetalk? No context, no details.
What happens next? For some it'sno big deal. For others, it sets
off a storm of anxiety,catastrophizing or over
preparation, same email, verydifferent responses. The
difference it's not in theemail, it's in you. It's the
(18:13):
stories, experiences andunconscious triggers you carry
with you that determine how youreact as leaders. Our
unconscious mind influences howwe respond under stress, who we
promote, who we listen to, whowe avoid, and how we give
feedback without awareness, ourleadership is at risk of
(18:33):
becoming reactive, notintentional. We might reward
confidence over competence,silence over dissent, or
sameness over diversity withouteven realizing why. But here's
the good news, the more we shinea light on the unconscious, the
more power we have to lead withintention rather than impulse.
(18:54):
How do we begin? Here's one steppause before reacting. Ask
yourself, what's really drivingthis reaction? We're talking
about your own reaction or thereaction of the other person. Is
this about the current moment orsomething older, deeper or
familiar? Even better, getcurious about your own blind
(19:15):
spots. Seek feedback, reflectand journal your triggers. It's
one of the fastest ways toreveal your own internal
patterns. So curiosity is thekey here. When you have an
emotional reaction to something,notice and name it. What is this
emotion? Why this emotion? Whythis emotion now? And the more
(19:36):
you ask yourself thesequestions, the more emotionally
intelligent you can become, andthe more you can have a
considered response rather thanan immediate reaction. So that's
a little teaser of theleadership and psychology.
Series. If you want to knowmore, please do follow us on
YouTube and subscribe to thechannel, and you'll be able to
(20:00):
watch the entire series unfoldbefore you, and it will help you
become a better leader. When weunderstand the psychology of the
brain, the psychology of humanbehavior, we can become better
leaders. The other series thatwe've recently kicked off is our
Q and A series where we answerreal questions from real leaders
(20:23):
about their real leadershipchallenges. We get questions
from the audience, and we answerthem either anonymously, or you
can leave your name if you like.
It's really up to you, and welook to answer the question and
give some guidance for everyoneto hear. There's a good chance
that if you've got the question,someone else has had that
(20:45):
question at some point as well.
So we've asked a few differentquestions already, and if you're
following the Q and A series,you'll be able to see the
questions and the answers outthere in in real life. In the
first video in the series, weanswered questions about how to
(21:06):
make a good impression if you'renewly promoted into a new role
or new team. And the key lessonhere was not to try to impress,
but try to connect. Unlockcuriosity. Ask Great Questions.
Get to know the team that you'reabout to lead. Get to know them
individually. What are theirpreferences? What do they like,
(21:28):
not like? Ask them what'sworking well right now, what are
the biggest challenges? Soyou'll connect by tapping into
curiosity. We also answeredquestions about how to be taken
more seriously in the workplace,and we answered a question about
what to do if your managerstarts to present your work as
(21:49):
if it was their own and you'renot getting any visibility. So
if you're curious about the Qand A series, also please
subscribe to the YouTubechannel, and you'll see me
answering those questions fromreal leaders about their real
challenges. The final reflectionI'd like to share with you today
(22:10):
is about what we see happeningin the world today. We're living
in a world where we see crisesof trust every single day in
politics, business and society.
The leadership vacuum is veryreal, and you can help us to
fill that vacuum, whether it'show global leaders handle
conflict or how organizationsrespond to disruption, the theme
(22:32):
is clear, people are cravingleaders who are curious, who
develop others, and who leadwith generosity and humanity,
ones that are open andtransparent, building trust
leaders that make you feel seen,heard and valued, that your
opinion matters, and theheadlines remind us every day
(22:52):
that leadership done poorlycreates division, but leadership
done well creates unity,progress and hope so. Let me ask
the question, are you going tohelp us? Are you going to help
us by being a better leader, bybringing people together, by
being a source of co creation,someone that brings people
(23:13):
together, not pulls them apart?
Here's what I want to leave youwith today, some calls to
action. I want you to rememberthese things, that leaders ask
better questions. Next timeyou're about to answer someone's
question, pause and convert itinto a question and watch them
(23:35):
grow. That leaders grow leaders,not followers. So ask yourself,
What are you doing to developthe next generation of leaders?
And leaders lead with generosityand humanity. Are you being
vulnerable? Are you buildingtrust? Are you building
connection? Are you being ahuman being at work? And are you
(23:56):
leading with generosity and stayaware of your own mind, your
biases, your blind spots andyour unconscious patterns?
Because Leadership isn't aboutyou, it's about the ripple
effect you create in the life ofothers. So three questions to
ponder, am I asking questionsthat empower others, or am I
(24:17):
still being the answer person?
Who am I developing today? Andhow will they remember my
influence, and how can I show upwith generosity and humanity in
my leadership this week.
Thank you for listening to TheLeadership Project,
mickspiers.com a huge call outto Faris Sedek for his video
editing of all of our videocontent and to all of The team
(24:40):
at TLP. Joan Gozon, GeraldCalibo and my amazing wife Sei
Spiers, I could not do this showwithout you. Don't forget to
subscribe to The LeadershipProject YouTube channel, where
we bring you interesting videoseach and every week, and you can
follow us on social,particularly on LinkedIn,
Facebook and Instagram. Program.
Now, in the meantime, please dotake care, look out for each
(25:02):
other and join us on thisjourney as we learn together and
lead together.
Have you ever noticed how the best leaders are
not the ones with all theanswers, but the ones who know
how to ask the right questionsdevelop others and lead with
generosity. Today's episode is asolo cast where I'm going to
share the key takeaways from myrecent conversations with Gary
Cohen, Scott Bergmeyer and JoeDavis. I'll also reflect on
(00:25):
insights from our new Q and Aleadership coaching sessions and
the psychology and leadershipseries we've just kicked off.
And finally, I'll connect thedots on what's happening in the
world right now, becauseleadership lessons aren't just
theory. They're alive around usevery single day. So grab a
(00:45):
coffee, settle in, and let'sdive into what it really means
to lead with questions, to growother leaders and to do it all
with humanity.
Hey everyone, and welcome backto The Leadership Project. I'm
your host. Mick Spiers, today isa solo cast where I reflect on
what we've learned on TheLeadership Project podcast
(01:07):
through the month of August,I'll be reflecting on lessons
from Gary Cohen, Scott Bergmeyerand Joe Davis, and talking about
what we're learning through ournew video series, the Q and A
series, and our psychology andLeadership Series, our Q and A
show is where we're answeringyour questions, real life
(01:29):
questions from real life leadersto help you become the leader
that you've always wanted to be.
So let's dive in. First up GaryCohen, who taught us all about
the power of asking betterquestions. Gary reminded us that
leadership is less about havinganswers and more about asking
questions that move peopleforward. He built his business
(01:51):
from just two founders into 2200people, and quickly learned that
if you're always the answerperson, you become the
bottleneck. His interviews withover 100 leaders reinforce this.
The pivotal shift happens whenleaders move from gathering
information to asking questionsthat empower others to think,
(02:13):
act and own solutions. Thelesson here is that leadership
isn't about control. It's aboutcuriosity. The best question you
can ask your team is not whatshould I do, but what do you
think we should do? And why thebenefits here are multi faceted.
First of all, it is a verycommon trap for leaders to fall
(02:35):
into to think that they need toknow all of the answers. And
this is a very limiting belief.
You become the bottleneck, andyou become the point of
dependence for everyone. If allyou do is always give answers,
what people learn is that theycome to you for anything that
(02:57):
they need, and they don't becomeself motivating, self dependent.
Secondly, there's somethingspecial. When you ask a
question, it unlocks somethingin the other person. It creates
learning and growth, and you'llsee them starting to develop at
a much greater rate. And itgives people what they want in
(03:18):
the workplace. They wantautonomy. They want the freedom
to be able to choose their owndestiny and to make decisions
that impact their own outcomes.
It gives them that empowerment.
It gives them ownership andmakes them feel seen. It makes
them feel heard, and it makesthem feel valued, and most of
(03:40):
all, you become a multiplier. Ihate to break it to you, but
you're a human being, and youonly have 24 hours in a day, and
if you keep on answering all thequestions, you are going to be
that limit, whereas if you areenabling people to learn and
grow and to take thatempowerment and that ownership,
(04:01):
you become a multiplier, andbefore you know it, there's
seven of you, there's 14 of you,there's 28 of you, depending on
how big your team is. So keytakeaway here, let go of
control. Get more curious andask better questions. The key
here is, even when you know theanswer, resist the temptation to
(04:23):
instantly give that answer andrather pause and convert it into
a question that unlockssomething in the person that's
come to ask you that question.
Next up, we had Scott bergmeyerand he spoke to us about leaders
who build other leaders. Scotthighlighted that leadership is
not just about Leading today'sbusiness, but building the
(04:45):
leaders of tomorrow. His ownjourney shifted when someone saw
in him a potential he didn't yetsee himself around. Reminder
that often we can't read thelabel from inside the jar. He
stressed the importance ofprocess and people. Yes, systems
and tools matter, but it's theleaders you develop who will
(05:07):
carry the culture forward. A keylesson here was that a true
measure of leadership is whetherthe people you lead, are
equipped, confident and inspiredto lead others. So my questions
and actions for you here are tothink about, Well, are you a
leader, and are you a leader ofleaders? What are you doing to
(05:29):
develop the leadership skills ofthe next generation? How can you
help them build their own selfawareness of what it means to be
a leader, self awareness oftheir own leadership styles.
What are their values? What dothey stand for? What won't they
stand for, and are they livingthose values? Are their actions
(05:51):
congruent with the values thatthey tell their team, are they
truly leading, or are theymanaging? Once again, there's
nothing wrong with being amanager. We need managers. But
if you want to develop leaders,they need to develop leadership
skills. So what are you doing toencourage them to step in to
(06:13):
what it means to be a leader?
How are you coaching them tobecome better leaders and better
coaches themselves. This isanother case of a true
multiplication effect. If youcan master this and you create
other leaders around you, you'regoing to see a great change in
(06:34):
your team and in yourorganization. Our next guest was
Joe Davis, and he spoke to usabout the generous leader. Joe
introduced us to his concept ofgenerous leadership, giving of
yourself for everyone's gain. Hebelieves leaders must bring
their human selves to work,vulnerability, empathy and
(06:55):
authenticity, not 100% of ourprivate lives. That's not what
it's about, but enough humanitythat people know we're real. He
reminded us of themultiplication effect, another
multiplier, if you inspire evena handful of leaders, their
teams, their families andcommunities are all impacted.
(07:16):
The lesson here is leadership.
Generosity is not weakness. It'sone of the most powerful ways to
create trust, connection andsustain performance. A key
reminder here from Simon Sinekis that all businesses are
people businesses, and if youdon't understand people, you
don't understand business. Andwhat it really means is that we
(07:38):
succeed through our people, notat the expense of our people. So
when we're generous, when we'reopen, when we look after people,
they will look after us. It'salso about role modeling
behaviors that will drive whatyou're looking for in the
organization. When you arevulnerable, it gives them a
(07:59):
license to be vulnerable. Whenyou are authentic and you show
up as your authentic self, itgives them the comfort that they
can do so as well. And whenpeople feel themselves at work,
when they feel a sense ofbelonging, when they feel a
sense that they can be theirtrue selves. They're ready to do
(08:20):
their very best work.
Vulnerability here is one of thebiggest gifts that you can give,
and when you think about theopposite here, imagine if you're
a leader that never showed thatyou ever make a mistake, you're
going to make people feel veryself aware and very self
conscious and probably nevercome to you with their own
(08:43):
mistakes. They'll feel likeyou're some kind of untouchable
genius and that they can'tpossibly come to you when
they've made a mistakethemselves, and that would be an
absolute disaster. Sovulnerability enables people to
stick up their hand ask for helpwhen they need it, to admit a
mistake, when they've made amistake, and to be able to work
(09:05):
together, to be able to fixwhatever the problem is. The
other great gift of a generousleader is presence. The gift to
be able to give someone yourundivided attention. This is
actually getting a bit rare inmodern days, we're distracted by
technology. We've got oursmartphones on the table. We're
(09:26):
distracted by messages andnotifications or thinking about
a different meeting instead ofbeing focused on the meeting
that's in front of us. One ofthe greatest gifts that you can
give your people is yourundivided attention to show them
respect, to show them that theymatter, because you see them,
you hear them, and you're paying100% attention to them, that
(09:50):
you're fully immersed andpresent in the current
conversation that signals tothem that they are important
and. Is what people want. Theywant to feel seen. They want to
feel heard. They want to feelthat they matter. They don't
want to feel like you're in thismeeting right now, but if a more
(10:12):
important topic comes up, you'regoing to drop them any second
and run to something else, orthat you're not really present.
You're you're thinking aboutsome other meeting, or if you're
watching your phone, or whateverthe case may be. So the number
one gift of a generous leader isyour undivided attention, your
immersed presence. Somethingwill also happen when you do
(10:34):
this. You will learn so muchmore when you're distracted and
you're not really fully payingattention to the meeting in
front of you. I'm going to tellyou you miss 70% of what just
happened in that meeting. Andwhen you take the time to
intentionally be fully present,fully immersed and fully with
the person that's talking toyou, you're going to pick up so
(10:56):
much more information. You'regoing to learn so much more
about the person, about theproblem about the business,
whatever the topic is, you willlearn so much more and to be
more helpful to them and helpfulto the business if you're 100%
in the moment. Okay, now I'dlike to share with you what
we've been learning from theleadership and psychology
(11:18):
series. We recently started anew video series where I'm
sharing my journey as Iformalized my education in
psychology. I've been studyingpsychology for more than a
decade now, but usually throughshort courses and different
activities, and I've decided todive deep and formalize my study
(11:39):
in psychology so that I canbetter understand the human
condition, what drives people,how to motivate people, what
drives their behavior, whichsometimes can seem very
irrational, behavior, and tounderstand human behavior at a
much deeper level. So we'vestarted this video series to
(12:01):
share with you my journey ofwhat I'm learning about
psychology and what it means interms of driving human behavior
and what it means forleadership. In video one, I
introduced the audience tosomeone called Phineas Gage, a
railway foreman in 1848 whosurvived a horrific accident
(12:22):
where a metal rod shot throughhis skull and brain. He lived.
He could speak, walk and reason,but he was never the same again.
Before the accident, he wasdependable, focused and
respected. Afterward, he becameerratic, profound and impulsive.
The only thing that changed washis brain, and that's the key.
(12:45):
This brings us to what Nobellaureate Francis Crick called
the astonishing hypothesis thateverything we are, our
personality, our decisions andeven our moral compass, is the
result of neural activity. Inother words, the mind is what
the brain does. So as a leaderthat changes everything, if the
(13:06):
brain drives behavior, thenLeadership isn't just about
motivation or vision. It's aboutunderstanding how people think,
what shapes their decisions, andhow context affects them
neurologically, it helps explainwhy someone might show up one
day as driven and composed andthe next as distracted and
(13:27):
withdrawn. Maybe it's not lackof motivation. It could be
sleep, stress, trauma orneurological overload. So the
more we understand the sciencebehind behavior, the more it
allows us to lead with moreempathy and effectiveness.
Instead of assuming laziness, webecome curious. Instead of
(13:48):
reacting to people, we startunderstanding them. In video
two, I introduced you to theconcept that your brain is lying
to you and you don't evenrealize it. It fills in the
blanks, filters information, andconstructs a version of reality
that feels completely real, butisn't always true. And if you're
(14:09):
a leader, that illusion could becosting you more than you think.
Your brain isn't built to showyour reality. It's built to make
meaning, and sometimes thatmeaning is incomplete, distorted
or entirely fabricated to makethe world feel more coherent. We
like to think we see the worldobjectively, but what we're
(14:32):
really seeing is our brainsinterpretation of the world
filtered through our memories,our biases and expectations. And
here's the thing, that's whateveryone else is doing as well.
So it all becomes aboutperspective taking for you to be
able to understand what you'reseeing and hearing and
interpreting and understandingthat someone else is looking at
(14:55):
the same events and seeing andhearing and interpreting them.
Differently, and because of ourbrains neuroplasticity, we also
become expert shortcut takers.
This is great for buildingmastery, but it can be
incredibly dangerous when westart extrapolating from
incomplete information. And thisis dangerous as a leader, if you
(15:17):
find yourself in a conversationwhere you're listening to
another person but you alreadyassume you know what they're
trying to tell you. You're notfully listening anymore. You're
extrapolating. You're already inyour head, you're already
finishing their sentences andassuming that you know what
they're talking about. So thishas huge implications. What
(15:41):
conversations are you missing?
What body language are youoverlooking? What opportunities
or warning signs are hiding inplain sight because we're not
primed to notice them. It's notjust about what we see. It's
about what we expect to see. Wemight misinterpret someone's
(16:02):
silence as disengagement whenit's really just deep thinking,
or take confidence at face valuewhen it's actually masking
insecurity. So the more we awareof our own cognitive filters,
the more we can step back andask, What else might be true
here? What am I not seeing? Whatassumptions am I bringing into
(16:25):
the room? So be careful of theassumptions and the
extrapolations that you'remaking, and be careful of
confirmation bias, where youonly start hearing the things
that confirm what you alreadybelieve, and you're ignoring the
signals that are contrary towhat you believed before a
conversation started. In videothree, we started talking about
(16:47):
decision making. As a leader,you make hundreds of decisions
every day. You think they'reconscious, rational yours, but
what if I told you that most ofthem aren't? There's a hidden
force influencing your thoughts,your reactions, even how you
lead, and it's running in thebackground without you ever
(17:08):
noticing. So let's start withthis question. If you ever
driven home and realize youdon't even remember the drive or
reacted emotionally in a meetingand only later, ask yourself,
Where did that come from? That'sthe unconscious mind at work.
It's the storehouse of yourhabits, memories, biases and
(17:28):
emotional patterns. Freudfamously called it the dark,
inaccessible part of ourpersonality, and Carl Jung
called it the shadow everythingwe've pushed down or chosen not
to see but whether or not we seeit, it's shaping us every single
day.
So imagine this, you get a vagueemail from your boss, just a
(17:52):
subject line that says, Can wetalk? No context, no details.
What happens next? For some it'sno big deal. For others, it sets
off a storm of anxiety,catastrophizing or over
preparation, same email, verydifferent responses. The
difference it's not in theemail, it's in you. It's the
(18:13):
stories, experiences andunconscious triggers you carry
with you that determine how youreact as leaders. Our
unconscious mind influences howwe respond under stress, who we
promote, who we listen to, whowe avoid, and how we give
feedback without awareness, ourleadership is at risk of
(18:33):
becoming reactive, notintentional. We might reward
confidence over competence,silence over dissent, or
sameness over diversity withouteven realizing why. But here's
the good news, the more we shinea light on the unconscious, the
more power we have to lead withintention rather than impulse.
(18:54):
How do we begin? Here's one steppause before reacting. Ask
yourself, what's really drivingthis reaction? We're talking
about your own reaction or thereaction of the other person. Is
this about the current moment orsomething older, deeper or
familiar? Even better, getcurious about your own blind
(19:15):
spots. Seek feedback, reflectand journal your triggers. It's
one of the fastest ways toreveal your own internal
patterns. So curiosity is thekey here. When you have an
emotional reaction to something,notice and name it. What is this
emotion? Why this emotion? Whythis emotion now? And the more
(19:36):
you ask yourself thesequestions, the more emotionally
intelligent you can become, andthe more you can have a
considered response rather thanan immediate reaction. So that's
a little teaser of theleadership and psychology.
Series. If you want to knowmore, please do follow us on
YouTube and subscribe to thechannel, and you'll be able to
(20:00):
watch the entire series unfoldbefore you, and it will help you
become a better leader. When weunderstand the psychology of the
brain, the psychology of humanbehavior, we can become better
leaders. The other series thatwe've recently kicked off is our
Q and A series where we answerreal questions from real leaders
(20:23):
about their real leadershipchallenges. We get questions
from the audience, and we answerthem either anonymously, or you
can leave your name if you like.
It's really up to you, and welook to answer the question and
give some guidance for everyoneto hear. There's a good chance
that if you've got the question,someone else has had that
(20:45):
question at some point as well.
So we've asked a few differentquestions already, and if you're
following the Q and A series,you'll be able to see the
questions and the answers outthere in in real life. In the
first video in the series, weanswered questions about how to
(21:06):
make a good impression if you'renewly promoted into a new role
or new team. And the key lessonhere was not to try to impress,
but try to connect. Unlockcuriosity. Ask Great Questions.
Get to know the team that you'reabout to lead. Get to know them
individually. What are theirpreferences? What do they like,
(21:28):
not like? Ask them what'sworking well right now, what are
the biggest challenges? Soyou'll connect by tapping into
curiosity. We also answeredquestions about how to be taken
more seriously in the workplace,and we answered a question about
what to do if your managerstarts to present your work as
(21:49):
if it was their own and you'renot getting any visibility. So
if you're curious about the Qand A series, also please
subscribe to the YouTubechannel, and you'll see me
answering those questions fromreal leaders about their real
challenges. The final reflectionI'd like to share with you today
(22:10):
is about what we see happeningin the world today. We're living
in a world where we see crisesof trust every single day in
politics, business and society.
The leadership vacuum is veryreal, and you can help us to
fill that vacuum, whether it'show global leaders handle
conflict or how organizationsrespond to disruption, the theme
(22:32):
is clear, people are cravingleaders who are curious, who
develop others, and who leadwith generosity and humanity,
ones that are open andtransparent, building trust
leaders that make you feel seen,heard and valued, that your
opinion matters, and theheadlines remind us every day
(22:52):
that leadership done poorlycreates division, but leadership
done well creates unity,progress and hope so. Let me ask
the question, are you going tohelp us? Are you going to help
us by being a better leader, bybringing people together, by
being a source of co creation,someone that brings people
(23:13):
together, not pulls them apart?
Here's what I want to leave youwith today, some calls to
action. I want you to rememberthese things, that leaders ask
better questions. Next timeyou're about to answer someone's
question, pause and convert itinto a question and watch them
(23:35):
grow. That leaders grow leaders,not followers. So ask yourself,
What are you doing to developthe next generation of leaders?
And leaders lead with generosityand humanity. Are you being
vulnerable? Are you buildingtrust? Are you building
connection? Are you being ahuman being at work? And are you
(23:56):
leading with generosity and stayaware of your own mind, your
biases, your blind spots andyour unconscious patterns?
Because Leadership isn't aboutyou, it's about the ripple
effect you create in the life ofothers. So three questions to
ponder, am I asking questionsthat empower others, or am I
(24:17):
still being the answer person?
Who am I developing today? Andhow will they remember my
influence, and how can I show upwith generosity and humanity in
my leadership this week.
Thank you for listening to TheLeadership Project,
mickspiers.com a huge call outto Faris Sedek for his video
editing of all of our videocontent and to all of The team
(24:40):
at TLP. Joan Gozon, GeraldCalibo and my amazing wife Sei
Spiers, I could not do this showwithout you. Don't forget to
subscribe to The LeadershipProject YouTube channel, where
we bring you interesting videoseach and every week, and you can
follow us on social,particularly on LinkedIn,
Facebook and Instagram. Program.
Now, in the meantime, please dotake care, look out for each
(25:02):
other and join us on thisjourney as we learn together and
lead together.
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