289. How Listening, Mattering, and Frontline Leadership Shape Culture with Mick Spiers

What if your culture is decided not by a manifesto, but by the conversation your frontline supervisor has at 9:12 a.m.? This solo deep dive distills September’s standout lessons into a practical playbook you can use today—clear prompts, coaching moves, and values-in-action routines that turn intent into impact.

We unpack five anchors. First, trust offered early and often is an accelerator: set a clear vision, step back without disappearing, and stay available to remove blockers. Next, listening is a skill, not a reflex. Using PAVE (paraphrase, admit, validate, empathize) and the four C’s (conscious, committed, curious, compassionate), we design for shared meaning so two people don’t leave the same meeting with different realities. Then we move to mattering: connect strategy to micro-whys, ask who benefits if we nail this work, and clear the path like a creator, not a victim of circumstances.

Values earn their stripes when the pressure peaks. We show how to pre-commit to red lines, name the value most at stake before tough decisions, and choose behaviors that prove integrity in the room. Finally, we ground culture on the front line. Train supervisors to set expectations, coach in the open, and use curiosity-based postmortems that build judgment instead of blame. We also tackle the danger of silence; without timely updates, people write their own stories. Learn how to narrate the “no update yet” moments to protect trust.

You’ll leave with scripts to start better one-on-ones, practical questions for debriefs, and simple habits that make people feel seen, heard, and valued. If you’re ready to strengthen your supervisor bench, make listening visible, and give trust on purpose, this playbook is your next step. Subscribe, share with a leader who needs it, and leave a review telling us which move you’ll try first.

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Episode Transcript

Mick Spiers (00:01):
When was the last time you truly listened not to
reply but to understand, andwhat changed because of it?
Which relationships in your teamrise or fall on the quality of
the first line leadership rightabove them, and if a stranger
shadowed you for a week, whatwould your day to day behavior
say about your values in today'sepisode. It's going to be a

(00:23):
solid cast where I'm wrappingSeptember with the biggest
lessons from our conversationswith William Davis, Julian,
treasure Rand, Selig, TamaraJackson and Phil Wilson, and
I'll connect them to what we'rewatching in the world right now.
My promise to you practicalreflections you can put to work
today.
Hey everyone, and welcome backto The Leadership Project. I'm

(00:47):
your host, Mick Spiers, andtoday will be a solo cast where
I reflect on the lessons that welearned from our guests
throughout the month ofSeptember, starting straight off
with William Davis, who taughtus to give trust, to get trust,
William brought us back to firstprinciples, the leaders we
remember most gave us trust.

(01:09):
First, they made people feelseen and safe to do the work.
Then they stayed availablewithout micro managing,
empowerment, gratitude andeveryday respect weren't
slogans. They were routines.
Great leaders are able to setthe vision of what we're trying
to create, and then they empowerand enable people and set the

(01:30):
environment where they can dotheir very best work. In some
cases, it's just getting out oftheir road, but being available
in case they need help to removea roadblock. You've heard me say
often on the show, one of myfavorite quotes from Tim Galway
is that performance is equal topotential minus interference,

(01:51):
and we have two choices. We canwork on our potential, our
skills, our knowledge, ourexperience, or we can remove
interference. And Williamsreminder is that distrust is a
form of interference. If thepeople closest to the work need
your permission to breathe, theydon't bring their very best. So

(02:12):
distrust is interference. Trustis an accelerator. So reflect on
this today and consider, do youtruly empower, enable and trust
your team, and do you show themthat they are empowered and
trusted? And what actions canyou take today to make them feel

(02:35):
empowered and trusted? Try ThisThis Week. Start during your one
on ones with questions like,Where do you need more space and
where do you want more support?
And close out each one of yourone on ones by naming one
gratitude for invisible workthat they do. Everyone wants to

(02:58):
be seen, they want to be heard,they want to be valued. They
want to feel like they matter.
And a great way to show someonethat they matter is to
acknowledge and be grateful forthe little, unseen things that
they do that may not always getattention. The next interview
was with the amazing Juliantreasure, who re joined us for a
second interview on the show,and he shared with us that the

(03:20):
world isn't hearing, and leadersmust listen, that there is a
listening deficit in the world.
Julian drew a hard line betweenhearing which is automatic and
listening which is a learnedskill. He offered two simple
ideas, that your listening isunique. Everyone filters meaning

(03:44):
through values, beliefs, stateand context, so you can have two
different people listening tothe identical conversation and
taking away completely differentunderstandings of what just
happened. An active listeningmeans choosing the right
listening position. Is itcritical, empathic, or is it

(04:06):
coaching, and you're choosingthe right listening mode for the
right moment? He also sharedsome powerful tools, such as
pave, if we really want to showsomeone that we're deeply
listening. Pave was paraphrase,admit, validate and empathize,
so that you can show that theperson that you are truly

(04:28):
listening and takingperspectives during the
conversation. And he shared the4c of listening, conscious,
committed, curious andcompassion. So the reflections
here today are that two leaderscan hear the same update and
walk away with very differentmeanings. So if you don't design

(04:50):
for shared meaning, you designfor misalignment. So here are
some techniques that you can trytoday after a tough
conversation. So. Say to theperson, let me play back what I
heard and ask them, What did Imiss? Or alternatively, ask
them, ask them, what did we justagree upon? And what we're

(05:12):
looking for here is sharedunderstanding that you don't
walk away and find out laterthat you didn't understand each
other in conflict. Try this. Idon't agree, but I do understand
why you see it that way. This isan example of validation, but
without capitulation. Validationdoesn't mean that you have to

(05:34):
agree with the other person, butit shows them the respect that
you took the time to see theworld through their eyes. The
next interview was with RandSelig, and he shared with us
that mattering is equal topurpose plus values plus a
manager who clears the path.
Rand anchored culture inmattering. People give their

(05:56):
best when they know the why, thepurpose behind the work when
they see Values in Action andwhen they have a manager who
removes obstacles rather thanadding them? So my reflection
here is the fastest way to lifta team isn't a new tool. It's a
manager who makes the workeasier and more meaningful.

(06:17):
That's a creator mindsetleadership in practice, a victim
mindset is someone thatconstantly blames their
circumstances and has an excusefor why something doesn't work.
Whereas a creator mindset makesthe most of where you are with
what you have from this momentonwards, and a leader who has a

(06:37):
creative mindset will pave theway and create the environment
where people can do their verybest work. They set the purpose.
They set the micro why? Why doesour team exist? Why does our
organization exist? What makesthis important? And they help
with the micro wise. The microwise are, well, what's the

(07:00):
purpose of this task? What makesthis task important? What makes
this deadline important, andwhat does doing this enable a
micro why can also be therationale behind a decision. A
funny thing is that people canoften accept a decision that, on
the surface, goes against whatthey would like to have happen,

(07:23):
as long as they understand thatthere's a clear why, a clear
rationale behind the decision.
So here's some things that youcan try this week. Ask your team
what's slowing you down that Ican remove and take the time to
translate strategy to purpose.
It can be in statements like, ifwe nail this, who benefits and

(07:45):
how? What will this enable? Thenext interview was with the
amazing Tamara Jackson aroundthe theme of leading with values
when life gets loud, Tamaraoffered a courageous integration
of faith, values and innovation.

(08:06):
She spoke to resilience aftertrauma, to impermanence that
this too shall pass, and toleading with integrity,
especially when the pace ofchange tempts expedience. So my
reflection here was that valuesdon't count when they're easy.
They count when they're costlyin high pressure moments. Do we

(08:29):
reach for shortcuts, or do wereach for the compass? So you
can try this today before a hardcall ask which value is most at
stake and what behavior willprove that we stick to our
values. You can also, as a team,create a red line, agree on

(08:49):
things that you'll never tradefor, speed, have conversations
about what you'll stand for andwhat you won't stand for, and
make sure that these values areknown before things get tough,
because it's in those times ofpressure where your values are
mostly going to be tested. Andour final guest for September

(09:11):
was Phil Wilson, who spoke to usabout culture, living or dying
at the front line.
Phil's leader shift lens isblunt, your culture is defined
by the daily interactionsbetween frontline workers and
their immediate supervisors. Ifthose relationships are healthy,

(09:31):
culture thrives, even when thetop is messy. If not, the
culture will fail. The otherthing I'll add here is that you
as the leader, are often thedifference between whether
someone has a very good day or avery bad day. Picture this, when
people go home from work after abad day, what do they talk

(09:52):
about? They talk aboutspreadsheets that didn't behave
themselves. Do they talk aboutthe work? No? They often talk
about, oh, you can't believewhat that jerk did to me today.
So your interactions with yourteam are often the difference
between whether they have a goodday or a very bad day, and He's

(10:12):
the killer. It's whether youintended it or not. I know that
leaders don't wake up in themorning and rub their hands
together and go right? How can Ibe a real joke today? Everyone
shows up to work wanting to dotheir very best work, but it
doesn't matter if you had goodintentions or not, if your

(10:33):
actions or omissions makesomeone feel small, make them
feel like they don't matter,they will go home having a bad
day. So it's your acts, yourability to make someone feel
seen, feel heard, feel valued,that will be the difference
between whether they go homehappy or they go home angry, and

(10:56):
ultimately, it'll impact whetherthey do their very best work or
not. Phil also challenged acommon trap assuming a tent
things like, oh, they did thaton purpose, and encouraged us to
switch to curiosity and coachinginstead. So my reflection here,
we love grand culturestatements, but your supervisor

(11:19):
bench is the culture how theytreat their direct reports. So
invest there first. So try this.
Train your leaders on three coremoves, setting clear
expectations, observablecoaching and giving specific
feedback in post mortems. Banwords like, Oh, why did you do

(11:40):
that? And use things like, Oh,what did you notice? What
options did you consider? Whatwill you try next? What worked
well, what didn't go well, whatwill you do differently next
time, using curiosity and thisapproach, the added bonus here
is to think about the hero orvillain effect, and remember

(12:01):
that everyone is the hero intheir own story. They don't have
necessarily ill intent. So thatperson that you've been whinging
about or complaining about, thatthey you know, they're making
your life more difficult.
They're actually trying theirbest, and a deep connection is

(12:22):
just the other side of a curiousconversation. Go and ask them
about what they're trying toachieve, what's working, what's
not working, connect with them.
Connect with them and see thatthey aren't the villain. They're
the hero of their story. And ifyou use some perspective taking,
you'll start to see the worldthrough different eyes, and
you'll be able to connecttogether. And the final lesson

(12:44):
for me in September comes fromsomething personal, and this
happened in the workplace thismonth. And what the lesson here
for me is that in the absence ora vacuum of information, people
draw their own conclusions, andI had a recent example where a
staff member was in line for apromotion, but there was a long

(13:06):
period of silence. That silencewas nothing more than will
working through trying to findthe best solution. The way the
silence was interpreted was theperson felt like they were the
second choice for any job, whichwas far from the truth, but I
can fully understand why. If Iwas sitting in her shoes, it

(13:30):
would have felt that way. Itwould have felt like I was the
second choice and that we wereoff talking to someone else
about the role that we'retalking about, which was not
true, but in that vacuum ofinformation, that was the
conclusion that the person Drew.
So my lesson that I take awayfrom this is to fill that

(13:53):
vacuum, even if there is noupdate and things are taking
longer than you thought it wouldtake call them and say, Hey,
give us some time. We're stillworking through it. There's no
update yet, but we will be backwith you soon. So try to fill
that vacuum and don't leavepeople second guessing. So
pulling together our Septemberplaybook here the things I want

(14:16):
you to think about, makelistening visible, use
techniques like pave and thefour Cs in your meetings, in
your one on ones in post mortemreviews. Strengthen your first
line leaders, your supervisorbench is your culture train and
coach there first, make surethat people understand the

(14:39):
responsibilities of leadership.
Remember that people spend up to1/3 of their life in the
workplace, and this is a graveresponsibility. It's up to you
to create an environment wherepeople feel seen, people feel
heard, and people feel valued.
And the key here is to trainyour first line leaders to take

(14:59):
actions. Things that make thattrue. Third, give trust on
purpose, start with autonomy andempowerment and add support the
enablement, not surveillance. Sowe set a vision, we discuss what
we're trying to achieve. Then weempower, enable and trust our

(15:20):
people to get on with it. Wethen remain available if they
need help to remove a roadblock,but without leaning in to
micromanage. Fourth, lead withvalues under pressure, decide
the behavior that proves thevalue before the meeting starts,
particularly in times ofpressure, your actions speak

(15:42):
louder than words. It doesn'tmatter what values you have
written on the office wallplaque. It matters whether you
live those values. And finally,perspective taking put yourself
in the other person's shoes. Becareful with what I said about
with a vacuum of information andthe other person drawing their
own conclusions. So don't makeassumptions about other people.

(16:06):
Test those assumptions withcurious questions, and try to
leave little doubt about yourown intentions. Don't leave that
vacuum where they do end updrawing their own conclusions,
which may not be correct. Sothat's it for today's episode.
In the next episode, we're goingto be joined, or re joined, by
the amazing Zack Mercurio, theauthor of the book The Invisible

(16:30):
leader and his new book ThePower of mattering, he has been
one of our favorite guests onthe show, pretty much ever a fan
favorite, and also a favorite ofmy team, and I look forward to
bringing you this powerfulinterview where we go into the
power of mattering and how youcan make that work for you and

(16:51):
your team. Until then, takecare, look out for each other
and always lead with intent.
Thank you for listening to TheLeadership Project,
mickspiers.com a huge call outto Faris Sedek for his video
editing of all of our videocontent and to all of the team

(17:12):
at TLP. Joan Gozon, GeraldCalibo And my amazing wife Sei
Spiers, I could not do this showwithout you. Don't forget to
subscribe to The LeadershipProject YouTube channel where we
bring you interesting videoseach and every week, and you can
follow us on social,particularly on LinkedIn,
Facebook and Instagram. Now, inthe meantime, please do take

(17:34):
care, look out for each otherand join us on this journey as
we learn together and leadtogether.