July 2, 2024 • 27 mins
Ever wondered how prioritizing self-care can transform your leadership style? Join us on the Leadwell Podcast as we sit down with Kevin Goodnight, a seasoned expert in sales and multifamily businesses who has shifted focus to support dads through his initiative, Dad Voted. Kevin candidly shares his journey from high-stress environments to adopting a "selfish before servant" mindset, demonstrating how morning routines, physical exercise, and setting boundaries can enhance leadership effectiveness and overall quality of life. Discover the balancing act of leading effectively while maintaining personal well-being, as Kevin reveals practical tips for achieving optimal performance.
Moving beyond the daily grind, we explore the transition from a retirement mindset to a legacy mindset in leadership. Kevin introduces us to the "BIN" principles—Boundaries, managing Expectations, avoiding Notification overload, and effective Delegation—that form a robust framework for preventing burnout and ensuring long-term success. We delve into how these principles can help you manage setbacks and stay focused on both professional and personal goals, even amid unexpected challenges. Kevin's insights provide a fresh perspective on influencing and impacting others daily, making a lasting difference in both your career and personal life.
In a lighter and more playful segment, Kevin and I explore the fun idea of coordinating outfits for a twin-like appearance and the amusing possibilities it brings, including surprising people at a taco restaurant. This episode wraps up with a heartfelt appreciation for Kevin's contributions and the enjoyable moments shared. Through humor and camaraderie, we underscore the importance of setting non-negotiables for work and family life, the necessity of fun, and continuous self-improvement for leaders. Tune in for an engaging conversation that promises both valuable insights and plenty of laughter.
Connect with Kevin:
Kevin Goodnight | LinkedIn
Kevin Goodnight | Email
Dadvoted | Instagram
Dadvoted | Website
Dadvoted: Dad's Devoted to Discovering... | Book
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Order your copy of Jon's book at RedefineYourServantLeadership.com, and don't forget to utilize the additional resources, or purchase access to the Workbook and Coaching Videos.
Send your Leadership and Business questions to Jon at podcast@leadwell.com.
For more information visit https://leadwell.com
The Leadwell Podcast gives mission-driven leaders principled and practical advice to do just that, lead well.
In each episode, your host Jon Kidwell, interviews leaders with great stories, to share strategies that help leaders navigate complex, confusing, and often down-right challenging leadership, personal growth, business, and workplace culture situations.
Jon is a nonprofit executive turned coach, speaker, author, and CEO of a leadership development company. In working with nonprofits and businesses, big and small, he realized the unique challenges leaders face when they are committed to keeping the mission and people the top priority. Those leaders’ commitment to their principles and the people they lead, plus seeing the need for more leaders who strive to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons, is what inspired Jon to start a leadership development company dedicated to the success of mission-driven leaders and their organiza...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jon Kidwell (00:01):
Welcome to the Leadwell Podcast, the show where
we interview mission-drivenleaders who are doing it well.
We ask them what they're doingand how they're doing it to help
you lead your business and yourpeople.
Well, I'm super excited to havewith us today Kevin Goodnight.
Kevin has led and done and beeneverything sales and
(00:22):
multifamily and commercial doneand been everything sales and
multifamily and commercial andhe has now moved into starting
his own business reallysupporting dads.
It's called Dad Voted.
We're going to jump into thatat the end, but first he has led
hundreds of people, bigbusinesses focusing on sales,
high pressure, high production.
Always got to produce and we'regoing to talk about self-care
today.
Kevin, I am so glad that we arereconnect and we're going to
(00:43):
talk about self-care today.
Kevin, I am so glad that we arereconnected.
My friend, it's good to see you.
Kevin Goodnight (00:49):
It's so good and love your energy.
On a Friday we're going to ampit up.
It's a good day to be here, man.
Jon Kidwell (00:58):
The irony of our topic is really we're talking
about taking care of yourself sothat you can serve people well
as a leader.
And I have to confess, I'vebeen sick all week and I've been
frustrated because I canceledappointments, I canceled
meetings.
I was in bed and I'm sittingthere thinking, if I go slug
(01:19):
through this, you're going togive me crap on Friday when we
get together.
And so you've been in my headall week as I've been sitting
there, not wanting to do that,but doing it.
One because nobody wanted tohear me talk, because I was
coughing so bad, and two because, although I didn't want to do
it, I knew it was important.
And I mean I know you'veslugged through it.
(01:40):
So tell me a little bit of whythis matters to you and how this
whole idea about making sureyou take care of yourself first
started with you.
Yeah, it's and look, I'm gonna.
Kevin Goodnight (01:50):
hopefully my energy will lift you up a little
bit today, because I'm alwaysexcited man.
I love just the journey of howwe met and again just through a
random guy on LinkedIn and wedidn't know we lived 30 minutes
away from each other, which iswhich is so cool.
I love how that happened 30minutes away from each other,
which is so cool.
I love how that happens.
Yeah, I mean, I ran businessesfor years and I did it so wrong
(02:11):
for a chunk of them and it wasbecause I thought I had to be
everything to everybody.
And I know, and that's when wemet.
I think we're pretty muchcloned.
I think our spikes are kind ofare fighting.
Jon Kidwell (02:20):
Oh no, we're even doing that for anyone watching.
We're basically the same human.
Kevin Goodnight (02:24):
He has better facial hair because I can't grow
any, so there's that, but yeah,I mean, look, we're guys and I
heard your story, I've heard youspeak live, which was beautiful
.
I mean, it's that same thingWork hard, that people pleasing
inherent of just.
It was ingrained in me beeverything to everybody.
Ingrained in me, be everythingto everybody.
(02:47):
And it was exhausting and thecraziest thing is when I and
I'll dive in.
But once I finally figured thisout, the results exponentially
skyrocketed when I finallyrealized, like look, you've got
to honestly be a little selfishand I have kind of a little some
coaching I do and I call itselfish before servant, and it
just goes so well with what youtalk about who you are, and it's
like, look, I know that there'scertain things that help me be
(03:09):
the best leader I can be.
I know there's certain thingsthat help me be the best human.
There's certain things thathelp me be the best husband.
A lot of it, too is is themorning routine.
Um, it's, it's what I do, thefirst five, six things I do, and
we can get in that at somepoint if you want to.
But you know there's a fineline, because selfish and
servant, those just don't, thosedon't they're oxymoron water
(03:29):
man, that's right.
You just don't, you know, youjust don't look at that, and so
there is.
There's a fine line, that'sit's.
Jon Kidwell (03:35):
it's called common sense, Uh but I know if I do a
workout in the morning.
Kevin Goodnight (03:39):
I'm going to lead better.
Jon Kidwell (03:41):
I know, if I do a workout in the morning, I'm also
going to eat better, whichmeans my brain's going to be
clear.
Kevin Goodnight (03:45):
I'm going to drink more water.
There's all these little thingsthat just intertwine.
And man, unfortunately I wasthe guy for so many years.
I was the guy at the office.
I'd get there at 630.
I'd leave at 630.
I'm eating in front of the teamand I thought it was good and
some of there was never any timefor me and I had to shift and
(04:06):
kind of change that mindset.
So when I walked in I waslooked at as the leader.
I was running a $45 millionbusiness and I wasn't the owner,
but I was the guy, I was thevisionary basically, and I had
my team underneath me inmultiple layers.
But if I was just walking in asthe sheer just whooped, and by
Friday, especially after I had a20 year bout of drinking and
other things, I wasn't very good.
(04:28):
And I thought I had left it allout on the field when, in all
honesty, I wasn't running at ahigh level to begin with.
So that was that's kind of thebroad based picture of of where
I was and and then and it tookme a lot of years to figure it
out- so I'm just recapping hereto kind of set the space of
cause.
Jon Kidwell (04:46):
You said earlier producing results, but I
realized on the backside of this, uh, taking care of those
selfish needs before servingothers, uh, exponential results
on that backend.
But what I think I heard yousay was, listen, I was doing the
12, 12 hours a day type of deal.
I was taking care of numbingout or medicating or tuning out
(05:15):
in an unhealthy way, and then Iwas doing it all in favor of
pouring everything out on thefield.
And what I think I heard yousay was you really came to
realize that you weren't everbringing your best and that was
what, what turned it around foryou.
Was there a moment,specifically, that it hit you
like a two by four on the head?
or something where you did alittle bit in a little bit in a
(05:36):
little bit.
Kevin Goodnight (05:37):
I think it was a lot.
Yeah, there was it where itwhen it came to head kind of,
when I got under this okay, thisalcohol thing, which that's a
whole other piece, but I had to,I had to get rid of that
stronghold, um, and I thought,look, I even thought I'd leave
the office and I'd go have a fewbeers and hammer emails out at
7.
Jon Kidwell (05:54):
And all I was doing .
I was peppering my people at 7.
Kevin Goodnight (05:57):
Hammering them Cause I got a two beer buzz.
So now I'm becoming kind of ajackass leader Sorry for the
language, but I a jerk of aleader and and yeah, they love
me and I was the guy and allthese things, but it's like I
was away from my house,commuting more, and it just was
a.
It was a hot mess.
And so I think there was thatalcohol piece.
(06:18):
Once I took that out andstarted realizing, oh look, I
can, I can get to the Friday andfeel refreshed like today's
Friday.
I don't even know what day it is.
I'm just so excited to to therewas never.
I was living for the weekend,right, Everybody.
And now it's like no, every dayis a beautiful day, Every day
is an opportunity to impactsomebody, Every day is an
(06:38):
opportunity to to lead or toserve, and but I was doing it so
backwards that I was.
I was fire you know firefightermode We've heard that just
bouncing from fire to fire.
I let my email or my inbox leadmy day, and then, once I
finally figured that shift likeI would walk in, I changed my
schedule.
I'd come in a little bit later,I would have my top three
things I was going to get donethat day, and unless there was
(07:00):
just an absolute bomb, I didn'tdeviate.
Jon Kidwell (07:03):
And so I was in flow mode.
Kevin Goodnight (07:04):
You know we all talk about being an athlete
being in flow, and I can walkinto that branch and boom, flow,
flow, flow.
One-on-ones weren't gettingskipped.
Meetings were on time, Meetingswere tight.
There were so many things and Iwas like, oh, and then all of a
sudden results, things startedhappening.
Jon Kidwell (07:19):
I'm like what is happening.
So I think I was.
Kevin Goodnight (07:23):
thankfully I had a good support team, but I
think I was a little bit of theroadblock and man, I saw us go
from a 32 million to a $43million business in one year on
a very established 40 year oldbusiness that is highly low
dollar amount, high transactions.
And you just don't grow abusiness like that overnight
(07:44):
without a lot of thingshappening, but that was, I think
, the biggest thing and to beable to execute was just the
sheer fact that I started takingcare of myself better and it
led to me just, you know beingso much better for the team.
Jon Kidwell (07:57):
You've given us a lot of things in there.
So if I'm someone that'ssitting there thinking, all
right, I connect with your storya little bit.
Some of it resonates.
It really starts with you kindof change your mind and your
approach to it.
And how would you describe that?
(08:17):
Is that a principle?
Is it a mindset?
Is it a mantra that you have?
What is your thing that justsays it's going to be different
for me, like, what does thatstructure look like for you?
What do you tell yourself?
How do you, how do you approachit that way?
Kevin Goodnight (08:31):
Yeah, so it's a , there's twofold.
There is a mindset and for methe mindset really was going
from a retirement mindset to alegacy mindset and that's a
whole other.
We do a whole podcast on that.
But so many of us are livingfor retirement and it's like
what is that all about?
But when you shift from aretirement mindset to a legacy
mindset, knowing that every dayyou can influence and impact
(08:54):
others, right Leadership isinfluence right and impact.
Jon Kidwell (08:57):
So I'm going to let me just jump in and see if I'm
getting what you're throwingdown.
Retirement meaning go, go, go,go, go, give everything that I
have quote, unquote, right Airquotes, and then I get to take
the next 30 years off.
Like, is that the idea behindthis retirement approach?
And then legacy is more whatplaying the long game, what I'm
(09:20):
doing every day, being able tosee things through kind of the
ripples and the impact around meIs that the general idea?
Yeah, that's the general.
Kevin Goodnight (09:28):
I mean so many of us are just living for that
retirement and living for.
You know, yes, we want to, wewant to make an impact.
Yes, we want to do this, but weget stuck in these little
blinders of no.
There's so much more to thisgreater picture.
You should enjoy your day, youshould enjoy your relationships,
you should enjoy your work, andyes, it's a grind.
So that was probably thebiggest thing was that shift,
that kind of retirement tolegacy mindset.
(09:50):
It was about awards,accumulations, accolades.
Maybe some of that was age forme, and then it was kind of like
okay, what are the tangibles wewant?
to know the tangibles.
Okay, that sounds cute on paper, right?
What is a retirement mindset,legacy mindset?
Jon Kidwell (10:13):
But really, I call it the BIN principles.
I'm an acronym guy, it's how Iremember things.
Hey, you're talking to one inthe same.
So, right, you even do the hairstuff, so lay it on me.
Kevin Goodnight (10:23):
Alliteration.
I'm a big alliteration guy.
Uh, developing devoted dads,that's my whole thing.
Um, but the boundaries or theben principles um, boundaries be
, it's all right.
I guess you're writing it down,so I know it's good.
Yeah, I'm writing it down, let'shear it expectations and
delegation and I'll just highlevel, real quick boundaries.
(10:44):
It's setting those boundariesof who you are, what you are
about, what you allow, what youwon't allow.
There's a whole level of whatyou set from a boundary.
What you say no to, what yousay yes to all those things.
Expectations In the workplaceit's setting expectations and
(11:08):
reinforcing them.
Often At home I'll mix it upfor you.
It's almost eliminatingexpectations.
And let me just say that yes, Ihave high expectations for my
marriage.
I have high expectations for mykids that they're going to be
just amazing warriors one day,that I'm building and raising
and growing these beautiful boysup.
But when I come home, myexpectations are if dinner's not
ready, I lower my expectations,I go.
(11:34):
What am I walking into?
So too many expectations leadto irritations, so I try to mix
that up High expectations forhow I operate when it comes to
my wife and my kids, likesometimes you got to lower your
expectations in just theday-to-day mundane.
Notifications look, we're anotification.
overload, you know we know thatfrom phones and apps and some of
these things that help us somuch.
Every time they ding, ding.
(11:55):
You know the stats If somebodybothers you for 23 minutes, it
takes you approximately 23minutes to get back on track.
And then the last, probably thebiggest piece for me, was
delegation hiring better people,empowering them, letting them
do their thing and then meetingwith them, you know, and not
ever missing that one-on-one,giving them the opportunity to
(12:15):
speak, what they were going todo, writing it down, following
up with it and making thingshappen.
So that and there's these bendprinciples.
It's actually the if you bendon these, you will, you'll start
to break.
And that's where, if you, ifyour boundaries get out of line,
if your expectations get out ofwhack, if your notifications
get overloaded, and if you don'tdelegate you, if you bend on
these principles, you'll break.
Jon Kidwell (12:34):
So that's kind of.
Kevin Goodnight (12:35):
that's kind of the mantra that I I speak to and
I help some other leaders with,and just been kind of how I
operate internally.
Jon Kidwell (12:42):
That's good.
If you bend on these,eventually you will break
boundaries, expectations,notification, overload and
delegation.
That is.
It's so good, it's affirmingright.
I'm a huge notification when Ialways tell everybody like phone
and text, that's the only thingthat my phone tells me about.
So I'm sitting here thinking Igot a win in that column.
(13:03):
But I can.
I can keep going in a couple ofthese other ones to continue to
do that.
And so talk to somebody who thisweek has been sick for two days
and they're feeling thepressure Kev of well, I haven't
made those calls.
I canceled some of thediscovery calls that I had.
(13:23):
I canceled some of the workcalls.
So I got to make those up.
Or I'm not going to keep onpace of our implementation
program.
I haven't been doing some ofthe content stuff, and that's me
right.
But turn it into anybody elsethat's behind on collections,
that hasn't made their salescalls, that skipped out on all
their one-on-ones with theirteam and all of a sudden they're
behind and they got to.
They got to catch up tofundraising, to whatever.
(13:45):
How do you approach it Once?
Once you start to feel thepressure of performance and oh
no, I'm behind because I'vestarted to lower some of my time
availability.
What do you do when, when thatcomes, so that you can continue
to restore yourself to serveother people?
Yeah, I'm a regroup kind of guy.
Kevin Goodnight (14:09):
I mean sometimes you just have to do a
sheer regroup, but I also I liketo look internally in those and
dig a little deeper.
I mean, I'm not a white knucklegrip through life, but I do
know this.
I know for every 10 minutes Iwaste is 60 hours a year.
So I mean I mean that's so Iknow.
I know in a day I waste a lotof 10 minute segments within a
(14:33):
day.
So how many hours am I wastingthroughout the day?
So and little, and so that's howI look at how do I get back on
track.
It's just that little bit ofchipping, chipping away and uh
and and vice versa, littlethings I do today.
I journal five minutes.
I try to journal five minutes aday to my kids and I've
journaled hundreds of pages ofthe Bible to my kids and it's
(14:55):
like scripture, my notes, andit's a rich gift and I.
All it takes is five minutes aday my notes, and it's a rich
gift and all it takes is fiveminutes a day.
So I think that's the hardestthing is when we're overwhelmed.
We tend to, you know, we tendto know we don't know where to
start.
Sometimes it is I have to putthe phone now in the other room.
I have to.
I have to get it, surely, awayfrom me.
Social media drives a lot of myinteractions Unfortunately,
(15:16):
fortunately, however you look atit from LinkedIn and other
things, and so I have to for meto get that writing mode or to
content create or to focus on aproject.
Jon Kidwell (15:25):
Most often I have to turn and get those things
completely out of my realm andjust and buckle down, I don't
know if that's the answer youwant, my friend, but I think
what I'm taking away there isjust self care means taking care
of and pouring in and makingsure you are well, but what it
(15:47):
doesn't mean is wasting time,right, and you really chunked it
down into those 10 minuteincrements and I think a lot of
it.
I mean, I'm even thinking backto how, how I would have
approached this 10 years ago asa leader, and it kind of put it
in that bucket of like, oh,that's, that's like that's
snuggie and the, the this andthe that, right, but you, you
and I have been talking aboutworking out.
(16:08):
We've been talking aboutspending time with family.
We've been talking about if you, if you are sick, you gotta be
sick, right, if you're hurt,you're hurt.
It's as simple as that.
We're not talking about wastingtime and we're not talking
about kind of it's notunplugging, but it's almost like
being unproductive.
(16:28):
There is a productive side ofself-care as well.
Right, it's not a tuning out,it's really tuning into what's
needed in the moment that you'rein.
Kevin Goodnight (16:38):
Yeah.
Jon Kidwell (16:39):
I believe in a day of rest.
Kevin Goodnight (16:41):
For lots of reasons, it's biblical.
But I believe in a Sabbath dayof rest.
I, when I don't do it, I see Iused to get the Sunday scaries
and I would get so amped up andit's like no, it's not, that's
not how it's supposed to be.
We're not wired this way.
We're not wired to work thesecrazy things.
Yes, we're wired to work, butwe're not wired to work to this
degree that we think and I thinka lot of it is our own
(17:02):
perception and thoughts of whatwe think we need to do, and I
had to flip that on its head andit didn't backfire.
I actually grew the businessand then I got more flexibility
and then I got more executivesaway from me as the business
grew.
So it's kind of a it'sdefinitely a dichotomy of
leadership that you think you'vegot to be in the business so
much and it's like no, you gotto take a step back.
I just scheduled time to thinkright, I mean, there's, there's
(17:25):
certain little things like thatthat you just, you just don't
think of.
But have your non-negotiables.
What are you going to do, notdo within your business, with
your family, and then set themand stay.
Stay the course and don't getmad at yourself when you have a
crappy day or you get sick oryou you miss a something.
Right, that's just.
Jon Kidwell (17:43):
You just can't stew in that, otherwise it'll it'll.
Kevin Goodnight (17:46):
it'll beat you down.
Jon Kidwell (17:48):
Yeah, I say that all of us are middle managers.
Right, even if you own thething, it just means that you
got a lot more bosses becauseyou got a lot of clients.
But every single one of us as amiddle manager, and every
single one of us that's a leader, probably has somebody that's
reporting to us and and there isa little bit of that like well,
how do I give that, whilemaking sure that we're focusing
(18:09):
on the work, while making surethat I'm supporting my people,
the kind of that, the boundaryand the tension in there, and
what are what are some thingsthat you have done?
Well to take what you'velearned, what you've implemented
, and start to cascade that tothe team that you lead in a way
that's good for the people, goodfor the business, good for the
mission y'all are on.
(18:29):
What does that look like?
Kevin Goodnight (18:32):
That's great.
You know, I had a young salesguy I promoted once a sales
manager and he called it.
He said every day I get up andI focus on the IPAs.
I'm like the IPAs, that's atype of beer.
He said income producingactivities.
Jon Kidwell (18:46):
I said okay income producing activities.
Kevin Goodnight (18:49):
So a lot of that is getting back to the.
That's, at the end of the day,um, that's what we're trying to
do, for if you're running abusiness, if you're running a
nonprofit, you know, dependingon what you're trying to do, um
is to try to.
Yes, there's good that comesfrom all the things that you're
trying to do and there's goodthat comes from, uh, seeing
employees grow.
But what are the core basicsthat keep the business running
(19:10):
and thriving?
And I think so oftensalespeople get caught up in
firefight, fix it mode.
So it's like, okay, how do youfine-tune the sales guy so that
they're not just firefightingall day is because of something
they haven't set up correctly?
Is it a system that isn'thelping in within the business?
Is it a software issue?
Is it an organization issue?
So there's, there's so manythings again, I think so much of
(19:32):
what we do goes back to timemanagement and execution and um.
And then, when you start to havethat family that you go look, I
execute from eight to fivewhatever you want to call it
because I do that so well, sothat I can be better for my
family and give them thatuninterrupted time.
There's nothing worse than astressed out dad on a Saturday
(19:52):
who's yelling at his kidsbecause he didn't figure out his
week.
you know, yes, there's badthings that happen but, I, got
up the other day yesterday I gotup at four and at three 30, I
was at the pool with my kids andit was beautiful.
Um, I don't like to get up atfour, but I woke up, started my
day and at three 30, I was atthe pool and I put my phone
aside and didn't look at it ofthemselves how to love their
families better, that their mostimportant impact is at home.
(20:15):
I mean, that was my whole thing.
Like then I create this dadministry and it's like oh yeah,
I really need this.
This is where I need to go anddo and be about, so look, and
(20:38):
you did and you've jumped inright.
Jon Kidwell (20:39):
So, kevin, going from corporate sales leader to
leading business to now buildinga business, and you've authored
a book called Dad Voted.
Have it.
It's great.
That has been one of the subthemes of my entire year is
reading all of these books onparenting.
So apparently it's needed overin the Kidwell household, which
(21:01):
is a good thing.
It's always needed.
I got to keep doing that andyou go around and speak.
So tee us up a little bit forthe guys probably even the gals
saying hey, maybe we could lookat this book together, honey,
right, but tee us up for DadVoted and what y'all are working
on over there.
Kevin Goodnight (21:17):
Yeah, it's a beautiful mission, Long story.
Never thought I'd be doing this.
My heart again.
If I would have seen this Iprobably would have run for the
hills, but it's just a beautifulmission and passion for men and
dudes.
I go hard at dads, and not thatwe're bad dads, we just got to
be a little bit better and we'reall so close dads.
(21:40):
We just got to be a little bitbetter and we're all so close.
Men are so consumed withbuilding their own kingdom with
accolades, awards I call it malePMS.
It's all about finding power,money and status.
Jon Kidwell (21:50):
And it's like guys.
Kevin Goodnight (21:51):
How do we take a step back and leave a lasting
legacy?
So I wrote the first book.
It's called Dad's, devoted toDiscovering their Duty,
direction and Destiny.
Your duty is it's around yourpurpose.
Why are you here?
What's that all about?
Your direction, which way areyou going?
And then your destiny is what'sthe?
ultimate end game While you livehere.
(22:12):
Of course and I go at it hardfrom a faith-based perspective
but I just want men to know andstop doing this by themselves,
stop white knuckling throughlife and just line up
accountability, line upmentorship.
Be a mentor, mentor somebody.
I think we talked about that,you talk about that in your
keynote that I saw you giverecently.
(22:34):
It's so important that we'redoing these things.
We're muscling through life andmy biggest fear is that too
many men are waking up one dayand their kids picture them as a
glorified ATM Like that's whomy dad, my dad, was.
And what the dads arestruggling with is that they're
just like hey, we'll get to that, I'm a good dad, I'm, I'm
(22:56):
involved.
Well, there's a big differencebetween an involved father and
an intentional father.
John Tyson speaks to that, andthere's a big difference in how
I talk to dads that are comingthrough and they're like well,
I'll get to that, I'll get tothat.
Well, the father makes thebiggest impact from five years
to 11 years.
And you set the foundation bythe kids hit 12 and 13,.
(23:19):
They're all about their peers.
So if you haven't laid thatfoundation, I'm not saying
you're done, but it does make ita lot harder.
So that's how do I get to moremen?
I'm 42.
How do I get to more men thatare 32, 35, 38, even 42 to 50
and just say, hey, let's linkarms and be a little bit better?
So I do it through writing.
Speaking.
I just I launched an onlinecourse today called Becoming Dad
(23:42):
.
Voted.
It's just so I don't know, justmy heart and passion for men,
because I've lived it.
I was that guy two years ago.
Marriage was good-ish, notgreat.
I was an okay dad.
I wasn't a crappy dad.
I just was kind of all about me.
And it's so funny that I,ronnie, we're I, I irony, we're
(24:03):
speaking about selfish beforeservant but I had to get myself
right so that I could pour intoothers.
And that's now.
There's no, there's no.
Looking back this mission andmovement ministry is.
It's crazy.
My kids are all in it, mywife's all in it.
Jon Kidwell (24:18):
We don't know what we're doing just spirit led and
self-funded and off and running.
I love it and it is.
It's fun to watch.
We will jump into where and howpeople can connect with you in
just a second.
But the question that we askeverybody, the one before you go
, is Kev for you, what does itmean to lead well?
Kevin Goodnight (24:40):
is Kev.
For you, what does it mean tolead?
Well, oh man, what a greatquestion.
You know, for me, it'severything.
It's what we were called to do.
We're called to lead your job.
Can be president, can be CEO,you can be janitor.
Jon Kidwell (24:54):
We are all leaders.
Kevin Goodnight (24:56):
It doesn't matter what stage of life you're
in, if you're male, female, wewere all called to lead, and so,
for me, it's everything.
It's all about this justprocess of becoming more, doing
less.
It's everything I aspire to be.
Jon Kidwell (25:16):
I've far from made it.
Kevin Goodnight (25:17):
I've far from made it in parenting.
I still am in the throes of it.
I would do a lot of thingsdifferently as a leader, but I
wouldn't take any of it back.
So, man, I just encouragepeople to wake up every day,
dust themselves off and justkeep chipping away.
That's it, yeah.
Jon Kidwell (25:33):
Keep chipping away and we will continue to do that.
And where can people watch,connect with you, see you chip
it away and engage with dadvoted yeah.
Kevin Goodnight (25:41):
Dad votedcom uh website.
A lot of good interactive stuffthere.
You can connect, sign up for mynewsletter, other things there
I'm a little bit heavier on.
LinkedIn under my name, kevingoodnight, uh, but you could, of
course, find um Instagram onall those things as well under
mainly dad voted, once you getoff of LinkedIn.
But yeah, I also speak locallyspeaking at a lot of churches,
(26:04):
men's groups, local businesses,bringing the thunder at guys and
yeah.
So there's a lot of coolopportunities and, like I said,
I just want to honor you, man,I'm just grateful for you,
grateful for who you are.
Man, I'm just grateful for you,grateful for who you are, and I
knew when we met within I mean,it's so cool, within seconds we
(26:25):
were, we were uh, we were allin man, we were both sitting on
the edge of our seats justloving our stories and I can't
wait.
Jon Kidwell (26:28):
We were going to get some tacos.
Well, I got tacos.
I can't remember what you got,but I got tacos last time we
were together.
Kevin Goodnight (26:33):
I'm fueled by tacos man.
Jon Kidwell (26:35):
There you go.
All right, we're going back fortacos and we will coordinate
our shirts better so that we canreally scare people at the
restaurant into thinking thehair, the shirt, the everything
They'll just they'll reallythink I'll shave for you, I'll
shave this off.
Kevin Goodnight (26:49):
There we go.
Jon Kidwell (26:50):
Twins.
That might cause too manyproblems for everybody involved.
So, kevin, it's been a joy, man, it's so good to see you.
Thank you for coming on andtalking about this today.
I appreciate you.
It's been great having youAbsolutely.
Thanks, man.
All right, everybody else,until next time, be well lead on
and God bless.
Welcome to the Leadwell Podcast, the show where
we interview mission-drivenleaders who are doing it well.
We ask them what they're doingand how they're doing it to help
you lead your business and yourpeople.
Well, I'm super excited to havewith us today Kevin Goodnight.
Kevin has led and done and beeneverything sales and
(00:22):
multifamily and commercial doneand been everything sales and
multifamily and commercial andhe has now moved into starting
his own business reallysupporting dads.
It's called Dad Voted.
We're going to jump into thatat the end, but first he has led
hundreds of people, bigbusinesses focusing on sales,
high pressure, high production.
Always got to produce and we'regoing to talk about self-care
today.
Kevin, I am so glad that we arereconnect and we're going to
(00:43):
talk about self-care today.
Kevin, I am so glad that we arereconnected.
My friend, it's good to see you.
Kevin Goodnight (00:49):
It's so good and love your energy.
On a Friday we're going to ampit up.
It's a good day to be here, man.
Jon Kidwell (00:58):
The irony of our topic is really we're talking
about taking care of yourself sothat you can serve people well
as a leader.
And I have to confess, I'vebeen sick all week and I've been
frustrated because I canceledappointments, I canceled
meetings.
I was in bed and I'm sittingthere thinking, if I go slug
(01:19):
through this, you're going togive me crap on Friday when we
get together.
And so you've been in my headall week as I've been sitting
there, not wanting to do that,but doing it.
One because nobody wanted tohear me talk, because I was
coughing so bad, and two because, although I didn't want to do
it, I knew it was important.
And I mean I know you'veslugged through it.
(01:40):
So tell me a little bit of whythis matters to you and how this
whole idea about making sureyou take care of yourself first
started with you.
Yeah, it's and look, I'm gonna.
Kevin Goodnight (01:50):
hopefully my energy will lift you up a little
bit today, because I'm alwaysexcited man.
I love just the journey of howwe met and again just through a
random guy on LinkedIn and wedidn't know we lived 30 minutes
away from each other, which iswhich is so cool.
I love how that happened 30minutes away from each other,
which is so cool.
I love how that happens.
Yeah, I mean, I ran businessesfor years and I did it so wrong
(02:11):
for a chunk of them and it wasbecause I thought I had to be
everything to everybody.
And I know, and that's when wemet.
I think we're pretty muchcloned.
I think our spikes are kind ofare fighting.
Jon Kidwell (02:20):
Oh no, we're even doing that for anyone watching.
We're basically the same human.
Kevin Goodnight (02:24):
He has better facial hair because I can't grow
any, so there's that, but yeah,I mean, look, we're guys and I
heard your story, I've heard youspeak live, which was beautiful
.
I mean, it's that same thingWork hard, that people pleasing
inherent of just.
It was ingrained in me beeverything to everybody.
Ingrained in me, be everythingto everybody.
(02:47):
And it was exhausting and thecraziest thing is when I and
I'll dive in.
But once I finally figured thisout, the results exponentially
skyrocketed when I finallyrealized, like look, you've got
to honestly be a little selfishand I have kind of a little some
coaching I do and I call itselfish before servant, and it
just goes so well with what youtalk about who you are, and it's
like, look, I know that there'scertain things that help me be
(03:09):
the best leader I can be.
I know there's certain thingsthat help me be the best human.
There's certain things thathelp me be the best husband.
A lot of it, too is is themorning routine.
Um, it's, it's what I do, thefirst five, six things I do, and
we can get in that at somepoint if you want to.
But you know there's a fineline, because selfish and
servant, those just don't, thosedon't they're oxymoron water
(03:29):
man, that's right.
You just don't, you know, youjust don't look at that, and so
there is.
There's a fine line, that'sit's.
Jon Kidwell (03:35):
it's called common sense, Uh but I know if I do a
workout in the morning.
Kevin Goodnight (03:39):
I'm going to lead better.
Jon Kidwell (03:41):
I know, if I do a workout in the morning, I'm also
going to eat better, whichmeans my brain's going to be
clear.
Kevin Goodnight (03:45):
I'm going to drink more water.
There's all these little thingsthat just intertwine.
And man, unfortunately I wasthe guy for so many years.
I was the guy at the office.
I'd get there at 630.
I'd leave at 630.
I'm eating in front of the teamand I thought it was good and
some of there was never any timefor me and I had to shift and
(04:06):
kind of change that mindset.
So when I walked in I waslooked at as the leader.
I was running a $45 millionbusiness and I wasn't the owner,
but I was the guy, I was thevisionary basically, and I had
my team underneath me inmultiple layers.
But if I was just walking in asthe sheer just whooped, and by
Friday, especially after I had a20 year bout of drinking and
other things, I wasn't very good.
(04:28):
And I thought I had left it allout on the field when, in all
honesty, I wasn't running at ahigh level to begin with.
So that was that's kind of thebroad based picture of of where
I was and and then and it tookme a lot of years to figure it
out- so I'm just recapping hereto kind of set the space of
cause.
Jon Kidwell (04:46):
You said earlier producing results, but I
realized on the backside of this, uh, taking care of those
selfish needs before servingothers, uh, exponential results
on that backend.
But what I think I heard yousay was, listen, I was doing the
12, 12 hours a day type of deal.
I was taking care of numbingout or medicating or tuning out
(05:15):
in an unhealthy way, and then Iwas doing it all in favor of
pouring everything out on thefield.
And what I think I heard yousay was you really came to
realize that you weren't everbringing your best and that was
what, what turned it around foryou.
Was there a moment,specifically, that it hit you
like a two by four on the head?
or something where you did alittle bit in a little bit in a
(05:36):
little bit.
Kevin Goodnight (05:37):
I think it was a lot.
Yeah, there was it where itwhen it came to head kind of,
when I got under this okay, thisalcohol thing, which that's a
whole other piece, but I had to,I had to get rid of that
stronghold, um, and I thought,look, I even thought I'd leave
the office and I'd go have a fewbeers and hammer emails out at
7.
Jon Kidwell (05:54):
And all I was doing .
I was peppering my people at 7.
Kevin Goodnight (05:57):
Hammering them Cause I got a two beer buzz.
So now I'm becoming kind of ajackass leader Sorry for the
language, but I a jerk of aleader and and yeah, they love
me and I was the guy and allthese things, but it's like I
was away from my house,commuting more, and it just was
a.
It was a hot mess.
And so I think there was thatalcohol piece.
(06:18):
Once I took that out andstarted realizing, oh look, I
can, I can get to the Friday andfeel refreshed like today's
Friday.
I don't even know what day it is.
I'm just so excited to to therewas never.
I was living for the weekend,right, Everybody.
And now it's like no, every dayis a beautiful day, Every day
is an opportunity to impactsomebody, Every day is an
(06:38):
opportunity to to lead or toserve, and but I was doing it so
backwards that I was.
I was fire you know firefightermode We've heard that just
bouncing from fire to fire.
I let my email or my inbox leadmy day, and then, once I
finally figured that shift likeI would walk in, I changed my
schedule.
I'd come in a little bit later,I would have my top three
things I was going to get donethat day, and unless there was
(07:00):
just an absolute bomb, I didn'tdeviate.
Jon Kidwell (07:03):
And so I was in flow mode.
Kevin Goodnight (07:04):
You know we all talk about being an athlete
being in flow, and I can walkinto that branch and boom, flow,
flow, flow.
One-on-ones weren't gettingskipped.
Meetings were on time, Meetingswere tight.
There were so many things and Iwas like, oh, and then all of a
sudden results, things startedhappening.
Jon Kidwell (07:19):
I'm like what is happening.
So I think I was.
Kevin Goodnight (07:23):
thankfully I had a good support team, but I
think I was a little bit of theroadblock and man, I saw us go
from a 32 million to a $43million business in one year on
a very established 40 year oldbusiness that is highly low
dollar amount, high transactions.
And you just don't grow abusiness like that overnight
(07:44):
without a lot of thingshappening, but that was, I think
, the biggest thing and to beable to execute was just the
sheer fact that I started takingcare of myself better and it
led to me just, you know beingso much better for the team.
Jon Kidwell (07:57):
You've given us a lot of things in there.
So if I'm someone that'ssitting there thinking, all
right, I connect with your storya little bit.
Some of it resonates.
It really starts with you kindof change your mind and your
approach to it.
And how would you describe that?
(08:17):
Is that a principle?
Is it a mindset?
Is it a mantra that you have?
What is your thing that justsays it's going to be different
for me, like, what does thatstructure look like for you?
What do you tell yourself?
How do you, how do you approachit that way?
Kevin Goodnight (08:31):
Yeah, so it's a , there's twofold.
There is a mindset and for methe mindset really was going
from a retirement mindset to alegacy mindset and that's a
whole other.
We do a whole podcast on that.
But so many of us are livingfor retirement and it's like
what is that all about?
But when you shift from aretirement mindset to a legacy
mindset, knowing that every dayyou can influence and impact
(08:54):
others, right Leadership isinfluence right and impact.
Jon Kidwell (08:57):
So I'm going to let me just jump in and see if I'm
getting what you're throwingdown.
Retirement meaning go, go, go,go, go, give everything that I
have quote, unquote, right Airquotes, and then I get to take
the next 30 years off.
Like, is that the idea behindthis retirement approach?
And then legacy is more whatplaying the long game, what I'm
(09:20):
doing every day, being able tosee things through kind of the
ripples and the impact around meIs that the general idea?
Yeah, that's the general.
Kevin Goodnight (09:28):
I mean so many of us are just living for that
retirement and living for.
You know, yes, we want to, wewant to make an impact.
Yes, we want to do this, but weget stuck in these little
blinders of no.
There's so much more to thisgreater picture.
You should enjoy your day, youshould enjoy your relationships,
you should enjoy your work, andyes, it's a grind.
So that was probably thebiggest thing was that shift,
that kind of retirement tolegacy mindset.
(09:50):
It was about awards,accumulations, accolades.
Maybe some of that was age forme, and then it was kind of like
okay, what are the tangibles wewant?
to know the tangibles.
Okay, that sounds cute on paper, right?
What is a retirement mindset,legacy mindset?
Jon Kidwell (10:13):
But really, I call it the BIN principles.
I'm an acronym guy, it's how Iremember things.
Hey, you're talking to one inthe same.
So, right, you even do the hairstuff, so lay it on me.
Kevin Goodnight (10:23):
Alliteration.
I'm a big alliteration guy.
Uh, developing devoted dads,that's my whole thing.
Um, but the boundaries or theben principles um, boundaries be
, it's all right.
I guess you're writing it down,so I know it's good.
Yeah, I'm writing it down, let'shear it expectations and
delegation and I'll just highlevel, real quick boundaries.
(10:44):
It's setting those boundariesof who you are, what you are
about, what you allow, what youwon't allow.
There's a whole level of whatyou set from a boundary.
What you say no to, what yousay yes to all those things.
Expectations In the workplaceit's setting expectations and
(11:08):
reinforcing them.
Often At home I'll mix it upfor you.
It's almost eliminatingexpectations.
And let me just say that yes, Ihave high expectations for my
marriage.
I have high expectations for mykids that they're going to be
just amazing warriors one day,that I'm building and raising
and growing these beautiful boysup.
But when I come home, myexpectations are if dinner's not
ready, I lower my expectations,I go.
(11:34):
What am I walking into?
So too many expectations leadto irritations, so I try to mix
that up High expectations forhow I operate when it comes to
my wife and my kids, likesometimes you got to lower your
expectations in just theday-to-day mundane.
Notifications look, we're anotification.
overload, you know we know thatfrom phones and apps and some of
these things that help us somuch.
Every time they ding, ding.
(11:55):
You know the stats If somebodybothers you for 23 minutes, it
takes you approximately 23minutes to get back on track.
And then the last, probably thebiggest piece for me, was
delegation hiring better people,empowering them, letting them
do their thing and then meetingwith them, you know, and not
ever missing that one-on-one,giving them the opportunity to
(12:15):
speak, what they were going todo, writing it down, following
up with it and making thingshappen.
So that and there's these bendprinciples.
It's actually the if you bendon these, you will, you'll start
to break.
And that's where, if you, ifyour boundaries get out of line,
if your expectations get out ofwhack, if your notifications
get overloaded, and if you don'tdelegate you, if you bend on
these principles, you'll break.
Jon Kidwell (12:34):
So that's kind of.
Kevin Goodnight (12:35):
that's kind of the mantra that I I speak to and
I help some other leaders with,and just been kind of how I
operate internally.
Jon Kidwell (12:42):
That's good.
If you bend on these,eventually you will break
boundaries, expectations,notification, overload and
delegation.
That is.
It's so good, it's affirmingright.
I'm a huge notification when Ialways tell everybody like phone
and text, that's the only thingthat my phone tells me about.
So I'm sitting here thinking Igot a win in that column.
(13:03):
But I can.
I can keep going in a couple ofthese other ones to continue to
do that.
And so talk to somebody who thisweek has been sick for two days
and they're feeling thepressure Kev of well, I haven't
made those calls.
I canceled some of thediscovery calls that I had.
(13:23):
I canceled some of the workcalls.
So I got to make those up.
Or I'm not going to keep onpace of our implementation
program.
I haven't been doing some ofthe content stuff, and that's me
right.
But turn it into anybody elsethat's behind on collections,
that hasn't made their salescalls, that skipped out on all
their one-on-ones with theirteam and all of a sudden they're
behind and they got to.
They got to catch up tofundraising, to whatever.
(13:45):
How do you approach it Once?
Once you start to feel thepressure of performance and oh
no, I'm behind because I'vestarted to lower some of my time
availability.
What do you do when, when thatcomes, so that you can continue
to restore yourself to serveother people?
Yeah, I'm a regroup kind of guy.
Kevin Goodnight (14:09):
I mean sometimes you just have to do a
sheer regroup, but I also I liketo look internally in those and
dig a little deeper.
I mean, I'm not a white knucklegrip through life, but I do
know this.
I know for every 10 minutes Iwaste is 60 hours a year.
So I mean I mean that's so Iknow.
I know in a day I waste a lotof 10 minute segments within a
(14:33):
day.
So how many hours am I wastingthroughout the day?
So and little, and so that's howI look at how do I get back on
track.
It's just that little bit ofchipping, chipping away and uh
and and vice versa, littlethings I do today.
I journal five minutes.
I try to journal five minutes aday to my kids and I've
journaled hundreds of pages ofthe Bible to my kids and it's
(14:55):
like scripture, my notes, andit's a rich gift and I.
All it takes is five minutes aday my notes, and it's a rich
gift and all it takes is fiveminutes a day.
So I think that's the hardestthing is when we're overwhelmed.
We tend to, you know, we tendto know we don't know where to
start.
Sometimes it is I have to putthe phone now in the other room.
I have to.
I have to get it, surely, awayfrom me.
Social media drives a lot of myinteractions Unfortunately,
(15:16):
fortunately, however you look atit from LinkedIn and other
things, and so I have to for meto get that writing mode or to
content create or to focus on aproject.
Jon Kidwell (15:25):
Most often I have to turn and get those things
completely out of my realm andjust and buckle down, I don't
know if that's the answer youwant, my friend, but I think
what I'm taking away there isjust self care means taking care
of and pouring in and makingsure you are well, but what it
(15:47):
doesn't mean is wasting time,right, and you really chunked it
down into those 10 minuteincrements and I think a lot of
it.
I mean, I'm even thinking backto how, how I would have
approached this 10 years ago asa leader, and it kind of put it
in that bucket of like, oh,that's, that's like that's
snuggie and the, the this andthe that, right, but you, you
and I have been talking aboutworking out.
(16:08):
We've been talking aboutspending time with family.
We've been talking about if you, if you are sick, you gotta be
sick, right, if you're hurt,you're hurt.
It's as simple as that.
We're not talking about wastingtime and we're not talking
about kind of it's notunplugging, but it's almost like
being unproductive.
(16:28):
There is a productive side ofself-care as well.
Right, it's not a tuning out,it's really tuning into what's
needed in the moment that you'rein.
Kevin Goodnight (16:38):
Yeah.
Jon Kidwell (16:39):
I believe in a day of rest.
Kevin Goodnight (16:41):
For lots of reasons, it's biblical.
But I believe in a Sabbath dayof rest.
I, when I don't do it, I see Iused to get the Sunday scaries
and I would get so amped up andit's like no, it's not, that's
not how it's supposed to be.
We're not wired this way.
We're not wired to work thesecrazy things.
Yes, we're wired to work, butwe're not wired to work to this
degree that we think and I thinka lot of it is our own
(17:02):
perception and thoughts of whatwe think we need to do, and I
had to flip that on its head andit didn't backfire.
I actually grew the businessand then I got more flexibility
and then I got more executivesaway from me as the business
grew.
So it's kind of a it'sdefinitely a dichotomy of
leadership that you think you'vegot to be in the business so
much and it's like no, you gotto take a step back.
I just scheduled time to thinkright, I mean, there's, there's
(17:25):
certain little things like thatthat you just, you just don't
think of.
But have your non-negotiables.
What are you going to do, notdo within your business, with
your family, and then set themand stay.
Stay the course and don't getmad at yourself when you have a
crappy day or you get sick oryou you miss a something.
Right, that's just.
Jon Kidwell (17:43):
You just can't stew in that, otherwise it'll it'll.
Kevin Goodnight (17:46):
it'll beat you down.
Jon Kidwell (17:48):
Yeah, I say that all of us are middle managers.
Right, even if you own thething, it just means that you
got a lot more bosses becauseyou got a lot of clients.
But every single one of us as amiddle manager, and every
single one of us that's a leader, probably has somebody that's
reporting to us and and there isa little bit of that like well,
how do I give that, whilemaking sure that we're focusing
(18:09):
on the work, while making surethat I'm supporting my people,
the kind of that, the boundaryand the tension in there, and
what are what are some thingsthat you have done?
Well to take what you'velearned, what you've implemented
, and start to cascade that tothe team that you lead in a way
that's good for the people, goodfor the business, good for the
mission y'all are on.
(18:29):
What does that look like?
Kevin Goodnight (18:32):
That's great.
You know, I had a young salesguy I promoted once a sales
manager and he called it.
He said every day I get up andI focus on the IPAs.
I'm like the IPAs, that's atype of beer.
He said income producingactivities.
Jon Kidwell (18:46):
I said okay income producing activities.
Kevin Goodnight (18:49):
So a lot of that is getting back to the.
That's, at the end of the day,um, that's what we're trying to
do, for if you're running abusiness, if you're running a
nonprofit, you know, dependingon what you're trying to do, um
is to try to.
Yes, there's good that comesfrom all the things that you're
trying to do and there's goodthat comes from, uh, seeing
employees grow.
But what are the core basicsthat keep the business running
(19:10):
and thriving?
And I think so oftensalespeople get caught up in
firefight, fix it mode.
So it's like, okay, how do youfine-tune the sales guy so that
they're not just firefightingall day is because of something
they haven't set up correctly?
Is it a system that isn'thelping in within the business?
Is it a software issue?
Is it an organization issue?
So there's, there's so manythings again, I think so much of
(19:32):
what we do goes back to timemanagement and execution and um.
And then, when you start to havethat family that you go look, I
execute from eight to fivewhatever you want to call it
because I do that so well, sothat I can be better for my
family and give them thatuninterrupted time.
There's nothing worse than astressed out dad on a Saturday
(19:52):
who's yelling at his kidsbecause he didn't figure out his
week.
you know, yes, there's badthings that happen but, I, got
up the other day yesterday I gotup at four and at three 30, I
was at the pool with my kids andit was beautiful.
Um, I don't like to get up atfour, but I woke up, started my
day and at three 30, I was atthe pool and I put my phone
aside and didn't look at it ofthemselves how to love their
families better, that their mostimportant impact is at home.
(20:15):
I mean, that was my whole thing.
Like then I create this dadministry and it's like oh yeah,
I really need this.
This is where I need to go anddo and be about, so look, and
(20:38):
you did and you've jumped inright.
Jon Kidwell (20:39):
So, kevin, going from corporate sales leader to
leading business to now buildinga business, and you've authored
a book called Dad Voted.
Have it.
It's great.
That has been one of the subthemes of my entire year is
reading all of these books onparenting.
So apparently it's needed overin the Kidwell household, which
(21:01):
is a good thing.
It's always needed.
I got to keep doing that andyou go around and speak.
So tee us up a little bit forthe guys probably even the gals
saying hey, maybe we could lookat this book together, honey,
right, but tee us up for DadVoted and what y'all are working
on over there.
Kevin Goodnight (21:17):
Yeah, it's a beautiful mission, Long story.
Never thought I'd be doing this.
My heart again.
If I would have seen this Iprobably would have run for the
hills, but it's just a beautifulmission and passion for men and
dudes.
I go hard at dads, and not thatwe're bad dads, we just got to
be a little bit better and we'reall so close dads.
(21:40):
We just got to be a little bitbetter and we're all so close.
Men are so consumed withbuilding their own kingdom with
accolades, awards I call it malePMS.
It's all about finding power,money and status.
Jon Kidwell (21:50):
And it's like guys.
Kevin Goodnight (21:51):
How do we take a step back and leave a lasting
legacy?
So I wrote the first book.
It's called Dad's, devoted toDiscovering their Duty,
direction and Destiny.
Your duty is it's around yourpurpose.
Why are you here?
What's that all about?
Your direction, which way areyou going?
And then your destiny is what'sthe?
ultimate end game While you livehere.
(22:12):
Of course and I go at it hardfrom a faith-based perspective
but I just want men to know andstop doing this by themselves,
stop white knuckling throughlife and just line up
accountability, line upmentorship.
Be a mentor, mentor somebody.
I think we talked about that,you talk about that in your
keynote that I saw you giverecently.
(22:34):
It's so important that we'redoing these things.
We're muscling through life andmy biggest fear is that too
many men are waking up one dayand their kids picture them as a
glorified ATM Like that's whomy dad, my dad, was.
And what the dads arestruggling with is that they're
just like hey, we'll get to that, I'm a good dad, I'm, I'm
(22:56):
involved.
Well, there's a big differencebetween an involved father and
an intentional father.
John Tyson speaks to that, andthere's a big difference in how
I talk to dads that are comingthrough and they're like well,
I'll get to that, I'll get tothat.
Well, the father makes thebiggest impact from five years
to 11 years.
And you set the foundation bythe kids hit 12 and 13,.
(23:19):
They're all about their peers.
So if you haven't laid thatfoundation, I'm not saying
you're done, but it does make ita lot harder.
So that's how do I get to moremen?
I'm 42.
How do I get to more men thatare 32, 35, 38, even 42 to 50
and just say, hey, let's linkarms and be a little bit better?
So I do it through writing.
Speaking.
I just I launched an onlinecourse today called Becoming Dad
(23:42):
.
Voted.
It's just so I don't know, justmy heart and passion for men,
because I've lived it.
I was that guy two years ago.
Marriage was good-ish, notgreat.
I was an okay dad.
I wasn't a crappy dad.
I just was kind of all about me.
And it's so funny that I,ronnie, we're I, I irony, we're
(24:03):
speaking about selfish beforeservant but I had to get myself
right so that I could pour intoothers.
And that's now.
There's no, there's no.
Looking back this mission andmovement ministry is.
It's crazy.
My kids are all in it, mywife's all in it.
Jon Kidwell (24:18):
We don't know what we're doing just spirit led and
self-funded and off and running.
I love it and it is.
It's fun to watch.
We will jump into where and howpeople can connect with you in
just a second.
But the question that we askeverybody, the one before you go
, is Kev for you, what does itmean to lead well?
Kevin Goodnight (24:40):
is Kev.
For you, what does it mean tolead?
Well, oh man, what a greatquestion.
You know, for me, it'severything.
It's what we were called to do.
We're called to lead your job.
Can be president, can be CEO,you can be janitor.
Jon Kidwell (24:54):
We are all leaders.
Kevin Goodnight (24:56):
It doesn't matter what stage of life you're
in, if you're male, female, wewere all called to lead, and so,
for me, it's everything.
It's all about this justprocess of becoming more, doing
less.
It's everything I aspire to be.
Jon Kidwell (25:16):
I've far from made it.
Kevin Goodnight (25:17):
I've far from made it in parenting.
I still am in the throes of it.
I would do a lot of thingsdifferently as a leader, but I
wouldn't take any of it back.
So, man, I just encouragepeople to wake up every day,
dust themselves off and justkeep chipping away.
That's it, yeah.
Jon Kidwell (25:33):
Keep chipping away and we will continue to do that.
And where can people watch,connect with you, see you chip
it away and engage with dadvoted yeah.
Kevin Goodnight (25:41):
Dad votedcom uh website.
A lot of good interactive stuffthere.
You can connect, sign up for mynewsletter, other things there
I'm a little bit heavier on.
LinkedIn under my name, kevingoodnight, uh, but you could, of
course, find um Instagram onall those things as well under
mainly dad voted, once you getoff of LinkedIn.
But yeah, I also speak locallyspeaking at a lot of churches,
(26:04):
men's groups, local businesses,bringing the thunder at guys and
yeah.
So there's a lot of coolopportunities and, like I said,
I just want to honor you, man,I'm just grateful for you,
grateful for who you are.
Man, I'm just grateful for you,grateful for who you are, and I
knew when we met within I mean,it's so cool, within seconds we
(26:25):
were, we were uh, we were allin man, we were both sitting on
the edge of our seats justloving our stories and I can't
wait.
Jon Kidwell (26:28):
We were going to get some tacos.
Well, I got tacos.
I can't remember what you got,but I got tacos last time we
were together.
Kevin Goodnight (26:33):
I'm fueled by tacos man.
Jon Kidwell (26:35):
There you go.
All right, we're going back fortacos and we will coordinate
our shirts better so that we canreally scare people at the
restaurant into thinking thehair, the shirt, the everything
They'll just they'll reallythink I'll shave for you, I'll
shave this off.
Kevin Goodnight (26:49):
There we go.
Jon Kidwell (26:50):
Twins.
That might cause too manyproblems for everybody involved.
So, kevin, it's been a joy, man, it's so good to see you.
Thank you for coming on andtalking about this today.
I appreciate you.
It's been great having youAbsolutely.
Thanks, man.
All right, everybody else,until next time, be well lead on
and God bless.
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