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May 28, 2024 21 mins

Unlock the transformative powers of leadership awareness with the incredible insights of Talybra Hollins from Allen Austin. This episode guarantees to equip you with a deeper understanding of how self-awareness in leadership roles not only shapes you but also the individuals you guide. Talybra reveals the potent influence leaders wield, and the necessity of nurturing this power to cultivate environments where growth is not just a goal, but a given. We dissect the intricate web of actions and decisions, shedding light on the pivotal role emotional intelligence plays in ensuring that our teams don't just function, but flourish.

Embark on a journey to master the art of effective leadership and empowerment strategies with me, your host, and Talybra as we lay out the blueprint for building resilient and collaborative teams. Learn the subtle craft of asking the questions that unlock potential and the boldness of granting autonomy, all while embracing the lessons that come with failure. As we navigate the delicate art of providing constructive feedback, discover how the strategic use of language fosters support and unity. This episode is not just an exploration but an essential guide for anyone ready to step into their power as a leader, transforming their teams and leaving an indelible mark on their professional landscape.

Connect with Talybra:

Talybra Hollins | LinkedIn

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Order your copy of Jon's book at RedefineYourServantLeadership.com, and don't forget to utilize the additional resources, or purchase access to the Workbook and Coaching Videos.

Send your Leadership and Business questions to Jon at podcast@leadwell.com.

For more information visit https://leadwell.com

The Leadwell Podcast gives mission-driven leaders principled and practical advice to do just that, lead well.

In each episode, your host Jon Kidwell, interviews leaders with great stories, to share strategies that help leaders navigate complex, confusing, and often down-right challenging leadership, personal growth, business, and workplace culture situations.

Jon is a nonprofit executive turned coach, speaker, author, and CEO of a leadership development company. In working with nonprofits and businesses, big and small, he realized the unique challenges leaders face when they are committed to keeping the mission and people the top priority. Those leaders’ commitment to their principles and the people they lead, plus seeing the need for more leaders who strive to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons, is what inspired Jon to start a leadership development company dedicated to the success of mission-driven leaders and their organiza...

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jon Kidwell (00:00):
Leaders have power.
Are you aware of the power thatyou have as a leader?
That's what we're going to diveinto today about not avoiding
it, not abusing it, but beingaware of the power that we have
as leaders so that we can helpempower and develop other people
and create an amazing positiveimpact in the lives of the

(00:23):
people that we lead.
Talibra is going to be ourguide today and it promises to
be a powerful conversation.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to the Leadwell podcast, the podcast where we interview
mission-driven leaders who aredoing it well.
We ask them what they're doingand how they're doing it so that

(00:47):
you can lead your business andyour people well.
Our guest today is TalibraHollins.
Talibra works at Allen Austin,a global leadership advisory and
executive search firm, whereshe does organizational
consulting, people and talentdevelopment, anything and
everything having to do withleadership.

(01:07):
Outside of that, she is aleader turned nonprofit
executive, a board member, andshe is here today to talk with
us about leading in the powerthat we have as leaders.
Talibra, my dear friend, nobodyknows, but this is like
somewhat of a reunion and I amso glad that you are here, that
you are on the podcast and thatyou are here to talk about

(01:29):
leadership with me.
Thank you for joining us.

Talybra Hollins (01:32):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.

Jon Kidwell (01:34):
All right.
So here's what I know is thatyou are an amazing leader.
I've had the privilege ofworking with you in the same
organization and I know that youare super powerful kind of
tongue in cheek and laying it upthere, because that's what
we're talking about today.
We were talking about the powerthat you, that me, that we kind
of all have as leaders.

(01:55):
So, off of that, tia, tell us alittle bit about what you're
thinking and what you're findingin leaders and this idea of the
power that they have.

Talybra Hollins (02:04):
Yeah, I mean, I think what's really interesting
is, you know, we talk a lotabout emotional intelligence and
one of those key things and keyfindings in emotional
intelligence is self-awareness,right, and I think that
sometimes, as leaders, we don'twant to address what we need to
address as leaders to be thebest for other people.
And while we have goodintentions, sometimes there's

(02:26):
just things that are justclouded up within us that say I
need to get this checked out andI need to be aware of who I am,
because it has so much powerover the people that we serve,
that we love, that we care forevery single day.
And so, you know, theself-awareness component of
understanding that, because ofthe power you have in an

(02:46):
individual's life, is soimportant right now.

Jon Kidwell (02:50):
It's huge.
Just the other day I saw that amanager like our manager at
work has more impact on how wellour life goes than a therapist
and oftentimes than other peoplein our life.
Like just how critical this is.
And so you talked about us notnecessarily always being aware

(03:12):
of some of the power that wemight have as leaders.
Tell you know what are some ofthe ways that we as leaders,
managers, kind of influencersover others in our organization
how do we impact others' lives?

Talybra Hollins (03:27):
Yeah, I mean, every interaction has the power
right to change someone'strajectory and we don't know
what other people are facing,what they're going through, what
they're coming in with, what'sheavy.
We don't know how they feelabout their own personal
performance sometimes.
And when we have an interaction, even something as small, what
people would say as small rightas a good morning or a thank you

(03:50):
, has so much power in so muchway, and especially when you're
in a leadership position and youhave a team, you got to
remember that economic powerthat comes with your title and
your name badge and you knowthat alone puts some kind of
authority over people and Idon't think that people realize
that sometimes that you've gotto really back up and say, not

(04:11):
only do I have this economicpower, but when I come in and
I'm engaging and I'm interacting, everything that I say or do,
every decision that I make, isgoing to impact someone that I
am leading, and it could be forthe good or, unfortunately,
sometimes it could be for thebad.

Jon Kidwell (04:28):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, think about kind of all of
those sayings of like, well, Ijust don't understand why people
don't come talk to me aboutthis or well, this is what I
said.
How come they took it this way?
And you're saying that there'sthat, that power, differential
right, like whoa.
I could never talk to the CEO, Icould never say that to my
leader because X, y and Z andthat's going on, so there's both

(04:53):
those that abuse it.
But let's not go there.
Let's go first to what if wejust hit somebody with the
proverbial two by four to Libraand they're like what I never
really thought about kind of myauthority over somebody else's
life and how that might beimpactful.
So somebody just had that bigaha, help help guide us into

(05:15):
what.
Now?
What do I do?
How do I, how do I get moreself-aware around kind of this,
this influence and this powerthat I might have, and and what
do I need to start doing once Irealize kind of the impact that
I might have on somebody else?

Talybra Hollins (05:29):
Yeah, you know I'm going to go back a second,
because this is actually reallycommon, because people are
getting put in positions asleaders because of their
technical capability, right, andso a lot of the times they've
been developed in the skill toperform the job but, they
haven't been developed in peopleskills, right.
And then you know this right,You're a coach, you're in the
leadership development space.

(05:50):
Those competencies have to betaught, right.
They have to be taught toleaders, because I may be a heck
of a sales performer and justdrive in revenue, but if I have
no idea how to talk to my teamor, you know, engage in
collaboration and understandthat art, I'm going to struggle
in leading people.

(06:11):
So to be self-aware means to go.
You know what are thosecompetencies when it comes to
leading people.
And then how do I go back andsay I'm going to get better at
those.
I'm going to put my personaldevelopment first right.
Lead first myself so that I canthen lead others.
And we just got to look at thechecklist, Like, if I know that

(06:32):
communication could be a lostart for me as a leader right,
it's not my strength Then Imight need to go and start
putting some emphasis in mylearning and development so that
I can be a better leader forother people.
So it's as simple as justknowing.
Hey, you know what?
I kind of fall short in some ofthese areas.
I'm now leading a team and if Iknow I struggle, this is

(06:53):
somehow going to impact thepeople that I'm with every
single day, and I know that I'velearned from failing moments as
a leader before and those weresome of the most effective, but
it doesn't have to be that way.
I could have had some realmoments of just saying, hey, I
took on this new position, Nowhow do I go and prepare so that
I can be my best self foreveryone?

Jon Kidwell (07:14):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean you're really talkingabout going into this promotion
that you got there because youachieved no doubt.
You were a high performer, andnow you are being tasked and
asked to do something completelydifferent by working and
building kind of influence andresults through other people and
to be able to come at it andsay, okay, good at sales, okay,

(07:39):
good at processes, okay, good atcoding X, y, z, whatever it is,
and what do I need to learn?
Given the new responsibilitythat I'm taking on?
I love that.
I know one of the ways that Ihave always asked and hopefully
driven some of thatself-awareness are questions,
right, questions like what doyou need from me?

(07:59):
Where am I getting in the way?
Where can I jump in and kind ofremove a roadblock?
Anything that starts to give meinformation that I don't see
helps me become more aware ofmyself, situations.
What are some other things thatwe can do now that we know,
okay, we've got a gap, we'vemoved from technical to leading

(08:21):
people.
What are some other things thatwe can do to help kind of grow
that self-awareness of how wemight be coming off and how we
might be impacting other people?

Talybra Hollins (08:30):
Yeah, I mean, you hit it right on the money.
That was going to be my nextthing is you don't know what you
don't know unless you ask thepeople that you're actually
leading.
And I think that some of mymost memorable moments when I
had to go back and say, okay, Ineed growth, I can tell it came
from the people that I wasleading, when they would say,
hey, you know, when you aredirect, it makes me feel this

(08:52):
kind of way.
So I had to learn okay, tonereally matters, like I need to
back that up a little bit rightnow.
Sometimes it's hard I'm notgoing to lie, because you're
hearing it and you're going whatI'm a great leader, like I
don't need any work.
But the reality is is whenyou're leading people, there's
things in each and every one ofthem that they need from you and

(09:12):
they can communicate that toyou.
So just asking the rightquestions of hey, how do you
want to be led?
Talk to me about what effectivecommunication looks like to you
.
Let me hear how you like tocollaborate.
Or what does it look like whenyou're struggling through a
problem?
How do you want me to step inand help you resolve that, or do
you even want me to?

(09:33):
You know, those are the typesof things that help.
You know how you can be thebest for other people because
you do.
You have this amazing impactwith every way that you approach
a situation.

Jon Kidwell (09:44):
And one of the things that I heard in there
that was so cool and so criticalis do you want me to engage in
this problem?
Right, and I think even in thatquestion there's an
acknowledgement of your abilityor your power to resolve that.
But what you did was youactually?
You put slash, invited theother person to take kind of

(10:06):
their own personal power, theirown ownership of no, this is
something I can do myself.
Talk about how leaders can dothat and foster that kind of
empower their people, if youwill.

Talybra Hollins (10:19):
Yeah, I used to tell my leaders all the time
I'd say, hey, you know, when youhired that person, you believed
in them a hundred percent.
When you saw the resume, youwere sold on them.
It's no different.
When I was looking at them, Isaw all the potential in the
world for them to grow.
And so I think what you have toremember is that you hired them
because you trusted them.
You trusted them and you'realso going to have to realize

(10:41):
they're going to need to, youknow, sometimes fail a little
bit just so that they can figureit out.
And it's not final.
Failure is not final, and somepeople will disagree with me on
that, but I absolutely believethat some of our best lessons
are coming from the ones that weare, you know, have to learn
from the hard way, and so Ithink, when it comes down to
like really empowering people,it's all about realizing look,

(11:03):
you hired them for a reason.
Let them go and live out thoseskills that you were looking at
from the very beginning and helpthem hone into it, and let them
gain that self-awareness ontheir own as well, as you're
kind of navigating thatleadership.

Jon Kidwell (11:20):
Okay.
So we've been talking a littlebit about the realization of it.
Now that we are more aware ofit and you're saying, hey, part
of our power as a leader is toactually allow others right, to
empower others, to self-direct,to drive, to have some autonomy,
some agency in what we're doing.
Let's flip it for a second.

(11:41):
Let's say you and I we're in anorganization and we're looking
over at Billy and Billy is notaware and Billy is abusing his
power and Billy is turningpeople over faster than the
restaurant industry can and,like it's just, it's not going
well in Billy's area.
Maybe actually I report toBilly.

(12:02):
How do we start to do this?
What are some things that Icould do as a peer, as a leader
or even as a direct report thatjust starts to make people aware
of how they may be coming off,especially not if it's in a good
way.

Talybra Hollins (12:18):
Yeah, you know, the one thing that I always
think is so important isfeedback, and it doesn't matter
what role you're in to give thefeedback.
It matters how you deliver thefeedback than anything else,
right?
So we talked about tone alittle bit, we can talk about
the verbiage, and I'm a big fanof Crucial Conversations.
It's one of my favorite booksand one of the favorite things I

(12:40):
love to teach, and I do believethere is an approach to have it
.
Whether you're having to leadup to your leader or you're
having to lead parallel to apeer, it is important that we
give feedback.
People don't grow when ourmouths are closed, right, and
it's just like when your momused to say, well, close mouth,
don't get fed.
It's the same way with thatlearning leadership.

(13:02):
You have got to be able to say,hey, I think you're an amazing
leader, but when you did this,this is what happened, and I am
not trying to tear you down, Ijust want to make you aware so
that we can have a morecollaborative, unified team,
total, different approach.

(13:23):
And saying when you did that,this happened right.
So that ability to help givethem the feedback also helps
them be self-aware.
Now, some people might not bereceptive to it right away, and
it may take some time to letthem get to that place, but
eventually it will deposit andthen it will flourish.
I do believe that.

Jon Kidwell (13:44):
Yeah, and I just want to call out something that
you did there just on the flyfor everybody that is watching
or listening when you use youlanguage, you put them on the
defensive and you used Ilanguage, right the.
I language was the example.
This is how I feel.
This is what I need, this iswhat I'm seeing.

(14:04):
I want to make you aware, right, Not the?
You did this.
You did that because you'regoing to box people in and if
you are going up against anindividual that might not be
aware of how they're coming offand they're kind of exerting
their power for themselves orunknowingly kind of putting
people in a place that theydon't feel super comfortable in,
the you language, is going toput them way on the defensive

(14:29):
and trigger that response thatyou're not liking what you're
seeing anyway.
So Talibra gave us I language.
Let's remember that as we keepgoing into that space.
So we've been talking aboutreally growing our
self-awareness, kind of theawareness of power.
There's a great side of usingthat leadership power as well,

(14:52):
right as kind of the oldSpider-Man and biblical adage of
with great power comes greatresponsibility and it can go
well.
It is not always this evilthing.
Every single one of us hasagency and has power.
Talk to us for those that areaware that we've got the
correction now.
How can we do this and leadwith our power extremely well,

(15:13):
for the benefit of everybodyinvolved?

Talybra Hollins (15:16):
I think the biggest thing to understand is,
like you said, it's not thislike superhero mentality, come
save the day, or authoritarian.
It is absolutely used to makepeople or not make because I
don't even want to use that wordbut help people become the best
versions of themselves.
Our power was given to us sothat we could lead people to

(15:38):
becoming greater, and hopefullygreater than what we are as
leaders.
Right, we want them to pass us.
We want them to become the CEOif that's their dream.
We want them to become the CEOif that's their dream, right, or
to become the pastor if that'stheir dream.
But our job is not to go overthem and say you do this, you do
that, or to give us a littlebit of an ego, right, it's

(16:00):
really just to help them see thegreatness that's inside of them
.
And I know that sounds maybe alittle, you know, cliche or
whatever, but I truly believe itwith all my heart that if you
were using your power in a waythat helped them pull out all of
those gifts, it's going to doway more for you than what you

(16:22):
ever could imagine.
I truly believe that.

Jon Kidwell (16:26):
Absolutely.
When you use power, when youuse your position, kind of what
you have for good, it growsother people, it brings back a
tremendous amount of benefit tothe team, to the organization.
So, as we kind of move, what,what are our last, our last

(16:51):
pieces that that we need to knowto make sure that we keep kind
of on track and aware, kind ofwhat's some of the continuous
tune up that we can do and andwhat does it look like for us to
ultimately transfer that, tobuild some, some self-leading
teams and and grow people thatare going to go beyond us.

Talybra Hollins (17:07):
I think once you're self-aware right, it's
you're aware of the things thatimpact other people, or maybe
about some habits that you havein your leadership that could
affect the trust of a team, orwhatever that may be.
I think the next step in thatemotional intelligence phase is
self-regulation right, we findthe ways to channel it so that
we can be the best versions ofourselves for our team, and I

(17:31):
think it has the trickle downand the domino effect so that
you can be a high performingteam, you can achieve your goals
, you can overcome and beadaptable in challenging
situations when you are justmore self-aware.
And so you know, I don't thinkwe should look at self-awareness
and go, oh my gosh, like I justhave all these things.

(17:51):
We don't want to adopt all that.
We want to look at the thingsthat are also great about us.
Right, really have that, whenit's at its highest peak, has
the greatest influence and thegreatest impact on the team and
being able to drive that in away that's going to be positive
on both ends.
So I don't know if that answersthe question, but I just think

(18:13):
it's self-awareness, it'sself-regulation, and then,
honestly, it's about empoweringthe team to be the best things
that you saw in the beginning.

Jon Kidwell (18:22):
Yeah, it's one thing to know, it's a completely
other thing to do.
And I'm sitting here kind ofreflecting on my own kind of
journey and on some of the stuffthat we teach and tell people.
And you have walked us throughself-awareness, others'
awareness and regulation just inthe last 20 minutes and I
always think and I hope they'rehelpful for those that are kind

(18:44):
of thinking through this how amI thinking, feeling, acting kind
of, in this situation?
How might somebody else bethinking, feeling acting and
then, given who I am, how I wantto be, what is required of me
right now and that's kind of myown personal regulation question
is like, okay, I've got thisgoal, I've got this mission,

(19:05):
I've got this team, I've gotthese principles.
Given all of that, given thesituation, what is required?
Right?
And and it just felt like youwalked us right through that all
the way from nuts to boltsthere.
So thank you to Libra for doingthat.

Talybra Hollins (19:20):
Absolutely.
And just one small thing I willsay is that always assume
positive intent.
I don't think anybody everintends to trigger you, right?
So I think, if you can just getyour mind wrapped around, that
it typically makes it a loteasier to have the conversations
and to overcome things.

Jon Kidwell (19:38):
So we all have the power to assume positive intent
whenever we want to.
That's awesome, I love it.
So before we go and beforepeople run to connect with you
wherever you point us to connect, I ask everybody that comes on
to Libra what does it mean toyou to lead well?

Talybra Hollins (19:57):
I kind of said it, but for me to lead well, I
want to see people become better.
I want to see them become whothey're called to be.
I truly believe that I've beenput on this earth to be a leader
of leaders, and so if I can seethem excelling in that, I think
that I'm doing everything thatI'm called to do.

Jon Kidwell (20:17):
I love it.
That is awesome.
We are leading well when we'rein our sweet spot, getting
others to grow in theirs anddevelop in leaders.
Thank you to Libra.
Where can folks go and connectwith you on social website?
Work with you all of that?
Where would you?

Talybra Hollins (20:32):
point us, so I'm going to push everybody that
direction.
I always share tidbits there.
We have a book club that we dothat's open to community.
So if you will follow me, it'sT-A-L-Y-B-R-A, last name Hollins
H-O-L-L-I-N-S, and LinkedIn isprobably the best way to get in

(20:55):
connection with me.

Jon Kidwell (20:57):
Talibra put some fantastic stuff on LinkedIn.
I follow her there.
We will put it in the shownotes.
Fantastic stuff on LinkedIn.
I follow her there.
We will put it in the shownotes.
Everybody.
Thank you for joining us.
Talibra, thank you for beinghere.
Make sure that you go out andthat if you're sitting there
kind of second guessing howmight I be coming off?
Am I using all this power forgood?
Go ask a question today andstart the process, just like

(21:18):
Talibra laid out for you anduntil next time, my friends, be
well, lead on and God bless.
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